Hidden evils will be your undoing! Death’s Door review!

Remember those 80’s and early 90’s demonic films that had the camera pretend to be a floating spirit like in Evil Dead or the original Night of the Demons?  Exposing women’s breasts were a mere exploitive stunt as the well endowed ladies’ shirts just happen to fall off because of a single, light and accidental touch.  The blood waved in like a killer tsunami and the body count was as high as Mount Fuji!  Those were the good ole days of demonic horror with the clarity of the hero and, sometimes, villains was not so black and white.  This melancholy brings me to George Schileppi’s 2008 killer specter and possession film Death’s Door where he skims the surface of all that glory said above and never really sinks his teeth into something that has been, at least to me, long lost in the world of horror.

Television psychic Madame Camille uses smoke and mirrors to make her guest believe they’re actually speaking to their loved ones.  When an aggressive religious driven radio evangelist is invited to face his accusations of murder, Madame Camille’s psuedo-powers become a reality and she has to tap into the evil possessing the evangelist that has trapped the frightened cast and crew inside the station.  One by one people die a gruesome, horrifying death and the survivors are running out of time in finding a way out of their tomb.

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Didn’t know Vincent Price could be so evil! Witchfinder General review!

My experiences with Vincent Price films is almost next to none.  All I got is his voice and likeness appearances on the Scooby Doo cartoons.  I didn’t quite know what to expect when delving into the Odeon Entertainment’s Blu-ray edition of Witchfinder General.  Something to the like of being light hearted and tame was my initial impressions before even watching the movie because I had this idea that Vincent Price was too family oriented and that the late 60’s wouldn’t allow much to be reveal as far as shock and vulgarity value goes.  Boy, was I wrong…

As England is in distress due to a civil war amongst the Royalist and Oliver Cromwell’s Roundheads, an unforeseen man rises to power exploiting village superstitions for his own gain in wealth and sexual prowess.  Matthew Hopkins travels from village to village proclaiming those innocent to be witches and having them confess by brutally sadistic tortures in which there are no ways out.  These tortures are carried out by his brute of an accomplice John Stearne.  When Hopkins and Stearne kill a falsely prosecuted priest and repeatedly rape his niece, they invoke the vengeance of militant Richard Marshall who is engaged to the priest’s niece.

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Not just another evil versus movie! Ninjas vs Vampires review!

If you’ve ever been unfortunate to see that piece of shit Vince D’Amato 2004 film Vampires vs Zombies (also called Carmilla, the Lesbian Vampire), a fear has probably dug deep with in the core of you’re very soul urging you to never, ever watch another indie horror project again for the rest of your mundane life.  No fear fiends!  Lets split up vampires and zombies and add ninjas instead!  First, there was Ninjas vs Zombies; a sleek, funny and fresh clash of two factions that never saw the light of day against each other.  Director and writer Justin Timpane does a great job with the martial art choreographic and special effects that will put your faith back into indie horror.  The subject of this review is Timpane’s sequel to Ninjas vs Zombies; Ninjas vs Vampires was with out a doubt the next logical title for his 2008 versus movie.

Aaron and his long time friend and desire Alex find themselves in the middle of an epic battle between the deadly forces of ninjas and the ultimate blood sucking night stalkers, the vampires.  The ninjas look to stop the world from falling into the sharp fangs of the vampires, but when Alex is kidnapped, the clan and Aaron must make a choice to whether risk the fate of the entire world on a single mortal girl.

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Strippers aren’t evil! Stripperland review!

In all my days I would never consider the exotic profession of a stripper to be a bad thing.  These (sometimes) youthful ladies contribute to society just like the rest of us and perform a gentleman’s entertainment that will forever be the loner’s safe-haven and open ear to deaf, faux sympathizers.  Director Sean Skelding sees the pole dancing society to be the evilest place on the face of the earth as his film, Stripperland, has strippers from all shapes and sizes, dolled up in cheesy outfits, run an undead amok eating the guts of the living and mindlessly dancing to hip-hop music.

Idaho is an annoying college kid who lives by a set of exotic dancer rules that help him survive a world of undead, flesh eating strippers.  He meets Frisco, a man on a mission to destroy every stripper that steps in his path and to fulfill an obsession for home made baked goods, and they embark on a journey to Oregon, but before they arrive, West and Virginia, two uninfected females, trek with them in search for their Grambo.

Sean Skelding has a vision and that vision is to recreate that vision in a parody.  Stripperland parodies Ruben Fleischers’s 2009 Zombieland and, in all honestly, doesn’t do it very well.  Having strippers only come back to life to eat the living doesn’t make much sense to me; to have them dance to hip-hop music and crave one dollar bills as a distraction ploy has the same effect.  I get it, Skelding, Strippers are the epitome of mindless drones who seek nothing but sparkly objects, a fistful of George Washingtons and just want to dance all night long.  This concept could have been done with another storyline; why use Zombieland’s premise?  Stripperland isn’t a soul sucker of only Fleischer’s zomedy as it mocks a bit of Zombie Strippers (for obvious reasons) and Romero’s Day of the Dead (with Thom Bray as Dr. Logan).

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