Vampires Can Be Your Evil Saviors! The Caretaker Review!

The-CaretakerDon’t quite count out the vampire genre just yet.  Like the blood thirsty undead, the vampire genre just keeps resurrecting.  Vampire films might be critically castrated for the majority of the time, but there are times when a vampire film just had a lot of heart, especially in a no to low-budget project like the film I’m reviewing in this article – The Caretaker.  Directory Tom Conyers has no feature film directing experience.  Actor Mark White has no feature film acting experience.  Must can be said about the rest of the cast while a couple of them also worked in shorts and television series, but The Caretaker is a real test for the cast on such a venturous storyline.

Mosquito bites cause what many believe to be an epidemic of the flu in the area of Melbourne, Australia.  What the residents of Melbourne believed were wrong…dead wrong.  The bites cause the victims to turn into vampires that reaches out beyond the lines of Melbourne and spread across the world.  A small, on-edge group of four humans hold up on a small vineyard plantation where a vampire has claimed his nest.  In exchange for their protection during the day, the vampire offers his protection against his own kind at night.  The tension is thick not only between human and vampire, but also between human and human.

Now not to rain down on The Caretaker’s parade even though I do like the movie, but I feel there is always too much melodrama.  Melodrama seems to be a plague for many low-budget horror films just because the crew can’t add in top dollar special effects to entertain leaving a “talking head” movie syndrome inevitable.  But I can divulge that the fact that in spite there being melodrama spewing from every orifice, this doesn’t make The Caretaker a bad movie.  The characters are complex enough to welcome some of the “talking head” script.  There are internal conflicts in the characters themselves and they are also projected upon the other survivors causing turmoil in the house or “nest.”

When I said that many low-budget horror films just don’t have the dough to afford high-tech special effects, I didn’t intend on that to mean that The Caretaker’s effects were awful.  I rather enjoyed the effects as they were minimal and believable.  Some effects make a movie campy, but The Caretaker was all serious business and took the vampire story on a different level with an earnest commitment.  Mark White’s as the protective vampire Dr. Ford Grainger who never reveals a good side or an evil side.  We just know he is a bad ass vampire vampire slayer.  The human characters give off the same complexities with only Colin McPherson’s character Lester portraying anything that resembles a villain as the 50-year-old creepy vineyard owner who loves to chase after young women and that young woman happens to be the manic depressed Annie played by Anna Burgess.  Guy and Ron round out the last of the characters played by Clint Dowdell and Lee Mason and these two are buddy buddy at first until Annie’s secret comes to the forefront and then it is game on between the four humans and the lone vampire.

The Caretaker won’t knock your socks off, but comes off as a decent vampire genre flick.  Don’t expect flying body parts or gruesome scenes of vampire attacks with blood squirting in every direction.  Take it in like a worth seeing television soap drama and try to see the heart in the center like I did.  Then, after it is all over and you still didn’t care for The Caretaker, you can rip out that heart and eat with a side of lima beans and wash it down with a nice cold beer, but hey, at least you gave it a try, right?

Trailer for The Caretaker

Not just another evil versus movie! Ninjas vs Vampires review!

If you’ve ever been unfortunate to see that piece of shit Vince D’Amato 2004 film Vampires vs Zombies (also called Carmilla, the Lesbian Vampire), a fear has probably dug deep with in the core of you’re very soul urging you to never, ever watch another indie horror project again for the rest of your mundane life.  No fear fiends!  Lets split up vampires and zombies and add ninjas instead!  First, there was Ninjas vs Zombies; a sleek, funny and fresh clash of two factions that never saw the light of day against each other.  Director and writer Justin Timpane does a great job with the martial art choreographic and special effects that will put your faith back into indie horror.  The subject of this review is Timpane’s sequel to Ninjas vs Zombies; Ninjas vs Vampires was with out a doubt the next logical title for his 2008 versus movie.

Aaron and his long time friend and desire Alex find themselves in the middle of an epic battle between the deadly forces of ninjas and the ultimate blood sucking night stalkers, the vampires.  The ninjas look to stop the world from falling into the sharp fangs of the vampires, but when Alex is kidnapped, the clan and Aaron must make a choice to whether risk the fate of the entire world on a single mortal girl.

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Nazis and Allies vs evil! The Devil’s Rock news!

The Devil’s Rock is brand spanking new to this blogger, but my friends over at has posted a trailer and a synopsis of the upcoming World War 2 horror flick.  On the eve of the D-Day invasion upon the beaches of Normandy, France, two special op commandos are sent to scoop out and destroy German gun emplacements on the Channel Islands.  What they discover is more terrifying than they could have ever imaged when the Nazi force commanding the gun emplacement are knee deep in the occult.  Their high command has summoned a demon in hopes to use it for Nazi gain; the demon has other plans.

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Think mosquitos aren’t evil? Sucker news!

Golly!  I haven’t seen a good mosquito horror movie since 1995 Mosquito starring Gunnar Hansen and TV’s 2005 Mosquito Man with Christa Campbell.  A mosquito horror film comes in about one and a blue moon.  A blue moon is on the horizon with the latest mosquito horror flick Sucker!

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Jerry displays his evil qualities! Fright Night remake trailer!

And it is here!  The long awaited trailer for the remake of Fright Night has arrived.  Colin Farrell’s Jerry the vamp is both vicious and unruly.  My skepticism was very high before seeing this trailer, but it has subsided a little for now.  However, where the hell was Peter Vincent in the trailer?  I didn’t see him at all, but maybe for two seconds.  Check it out after the jump as it will drown you in pure vampire mayhem.

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