Three Men, a Boat, and One Giant, EVIL “Crocodile” reviewed! (Synapse Films / Blu-ray)

“Crocodile” on Blu-ray and Lurking Behind the Wates of Thailand’s Film Industry!

Along the serene Thailand shores, a doctor and his young colleague take their family and fiancé to a beach resort for some much-needed time away after a massive casualty natural catastrophe on a nearby island swallows the entire village with seismic volcano bedlam.  Little do they know that a component of the disaster has swam to their very watery spot on the beach resort and gnashed without remorse on the doctor’s family and fiancé.  Not knowing what kind of creature could do such carnage, they soon discover through first hand witness accounts and the evidence gathered that a large crocodile, mutated by man’s own disregard for mother nature, is the culprit.  The men, along with a fisherman who believes in a destiny of a beastly showdown, swear to track down the killer croc and kill it.  The crocodile’s bloodlust on mankind is seeming unstoppable as it wreaks havoc swimming down river, destroying entire villages in its destructive and hungry path.

Thailand’s reptilian “Jaws” equivalent, “Crocodile” wriggles with wayward ferocity in this giant creature feature horror that rivals Bruce the shark.  “Computer Superman” director Sompote Sands oversees the enormous amphibious aggressor versus frantic and frightened man film that merged or morphed from Won-se Lee’s “Crocodile Fangs” into a blending of the two productions of the same film of one seamless man versus animal hunt above and below the surface of the water.  Sompote Sands produces the venture along with a postdated credit toward exploitation producer Dick Randall (“Pieces,” “Escape from Women’s Prison”) from “Crocodile Fangs.”  Coproduced by Robert Chan and Pridi Oonchitti, “Crocodile,” or rather “Crocodile Fangs,” was a multi-national undertaking with Thailand and Korean actors and crew and a Japanese special effects company bringing the giant, carnivorous maneater to cinematic actualization.  The Chaiyo Productions spliced feature was distributed into the U.S. under Cobra Media. 

Doctors Tony Akom and John Stromm have it all; Akom (Nard Poowanai, “Ghost Hotel”) has a beautiful wife and child and leads a charmed life despite his vocation challenges of being a doctor always on call. and Stromm (Min Oo) is recently and happily engaged to Angela (Ni Tien, “Black Magic” 1 & 2).  Their vacation doses audiences with a picturesque double date plus one child but does a rough patch setup of Dr. Akom’s family neglecting workaholism that isn’t crafted to be a strain on the relationship he has with his family but rather bring upon him tremendous guilt and inset the good doctor into a studious montage of crocodile research after his family becomes crocodile chow.  Sympathy toward the doctors is incurred but the level of sympathy falls low as the ladies’ death scene falters in the editing room, or perhaps was only partially shot, as only one of them is visually attacked while the others are grieved over in postmortem.  Character will is strong enough to carry the anticipated revenge but the giant crocodile is truly the main star stud, a vicious, village-obliterating mammoth of armor and teeth goes full Godzilla on the riverside communities and dining buffet style on anyone, land or sea, who makes a splash in his kill radius.  Unlike in “Jaws,” “Crocodile” is back-and-forth without the mysteriousness of the shark’s lurking underneath the glassy surface, snatching swimmers and boaters to a watery, gory grave, and this really solidifies the crocodile as an intended principal figure as a well-known, full-visible, antagonistic killing machine spurred by man’s own atomic-making hand; an idea that’s only theorized in exposition and not practically fleshed out.  “Crocodile’s” cast fills out with Kirk Warren, Angela Wells, Hua-Na Fu, Bob Harrison, and Nancy Wong.

“Crocodile” very much embodies the “Godzilla” and “Jaws” with deference without being a total negligent rip of either more widely successful hit.  The crocodile, in the form of its oversized whipping tail and rather big and detailed puppet head, raze miniaturized villages, much the same way Godzilla tramples over Tokyo in the 50s through the 80s, and the storyline for “Crocodile” parallels portions of Steven Spielberg’s 25-foot man-eating Great White tale of three men boarding a boat to hunt down a formidable creature, complete with yellow barrels and a sinking ship to an exploding finale.  Antiquated by today’s standards, for late 70’s, the special effects are a marvel to behold.  Kazuo Sagawa, of the special effects company, Tsuburaya Productions, lead the department with size-mattering scale and detailed depictions of villages and boats being quickly and violent undone by either a crocodile puppeteer or a mini-croc circling the boat and even, at times, being wire-flown through the air, bombarding the model ship with WWF elbows (do crocodiles have elbows?).  Action sustains an intensity that’s wrathful and keeps the heart palpitating with excitement.  The same thing can’t be said about the story through the choppy editing style, often times revisiting cut scenes being spliced into progressive context, but the setting, exterior weather, and clothing haven’t changed.

Synapse Films obtains the original Cobra Media distributed U.S. release and meticulously restores “Crocodile” in a 2K scan from the original 35mm camera negative, premiere the film for the first time on Blu-ray worldwide.  With an aspect ratio of 2.35:1, the AVC encoded, 1080p high-definition, BD50 is a deathroll of beauty and when Synapse says meticulously restored, the poof is in the details and coloring.  Not a ton of age wear or damage, a nearly pristine print for some intricate touchups to invigorate the content.  One brief series of scenes appeared as if the film cell was folded with a blended vertical line down the right side, much like a scratch would appear on the film but this looked different; however, the line did not substantially affect viewing.  Between the rapid severity of the crocodile thrashing and the reduced frames of select slow-motion sequences, there is nothing to fault about Synapse’s compression with objects keeping intact and away from ghosting or aliasing.  Blacks are generally faded but don’t show signs of posterization or banding.  The English print audio spec is a DTS-HD MA 2.0 mono dub.  Fidelity of the original audio is retained, uncompressed for lossless sound in all areas of the ADR, Foley ambience, and the cue soundtrack of the impending or attacking crocodile, with a hint of John Williams theme in the opening credit track.  English subtitles are available, but the dub is perfectly clear and prominent.  Special features include an audio commentary with writer and film historian Lee Gambin, a video interview with Won-se Lee, director of “Crocodile Fangs,” deleted and alternate scenes from different country versions of the film, and the original theatrical trailer.  The standard release comes in a green Blu-ray Amaray without the “nude” slipcover but has the same original, clothed illustrated artwork.  Inside, the disc is pressed with a toothy faceless creature versus and a scantily cladded bikini woman.  Opposite side is the usually accompanying Synapse catalogue for this year, 2024.  The R-rated feature has a runtime of 92 minutes and is region free! 

Last Rites:  A Thailand terrorizing monster movie with unrelenting savagery and terrific special effects for circa late 70s.  if you can withstand the story’s choppy waters, “Crocodile” is a fun and fierce swim through predatory, blood-suspended waters. 

“Crocodile” on Blu-ray and Lurking Behind the Wates of Thailand’s Film Industry!

Evil Science! Frankenstein: The True Story review!

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Frankenstein’s Creature hasn’t receive much love lately. The piece by piece monster hasn’t seen much screen time fame since the 1970s and the latest big screen installment didn’t fair too well in theaters with highly Underworld rip-off film I, Frankenstein. To get any good Creature action, we have to travel back in time to the 70’s when Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee dominated the Hammer horror gothic scene and take a good look at the British tele-movie Frankenstein: The True Story.

With the loss of Dr. Victor Frankenstein’s young brother William, Frankenstein looks for ways to cheat death. He embarks back to medical school where he meets the unethical physician Dr. Henry Clerval and together they create a new species of man from the body parts of several tragic accident victims including the mind of Henry Clerval who collapses and dies before the Creature’s “birth.” Frankenstein soon learns that his creation is nothing more than abomination that continues to decay and tries to disconnect from the whole situation until Dr. John Polidori takes upon a new creation of man.
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The two part television movie series from 1973 can really suck you in for multiple reasons. For starters, the Jack Smidght film has a fair amount of graphic content from severed arms and separate heads from their necks; a great assumption scene. Secondly, Frankenstein: The True Story is right smack in the middle of the Golden Age of the Gothic horror era and though the cast doesn’t include Christopher Lee or Peter Cushing, the tele-cast is full of life and vigor. A young Jane Seymour plays the young, beautiful tragic leading lady, David McCallaum who you might know as the doctor from NCIS and, who ironically enough, portrays a mad doctor in this film, and 1966’s Romeo & Juliet star Leonard Whiting.

The setting yells period piece and this the production value dried up that budget to the bone. The extravagant sets lends a hand to the epic nature of Frankenstein and his Creature, but this sets don’t include the natural and standard definitions of a Frankenstein mythology. For instance, yes, there is a laboratory overloaded with machines and mechanisms, but instead of electricity to bring the Creature to life, the use of the sun’s energy becomes harnessed for life which has been unchallenged by any other film (or literature) that I am aware.
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The story doesn’t following conventional storytellings. The Creature is shown as strong yet child-like, fairly usual, but then as the Creature is being discarded from society and his creator, he wonders on his own and learns how to love. With a twist catalyst in the second half of the film, the Creature’s compassion turns human and tragic. Michael Sarrazin’s portrayal of the Creature is fair to say at the least with some unintentional humor elements. I found myself chuckling at times rather than feeling compelled in a purposefully compelling scene. The child-life Sarrazin more than likely is suppose to be a bit funny and I don’t fault his portrayal to the extent as it may seem in this write up.

Second Sight release of Frankenstein: The True Story is a great edition to the label. Enriched with Technicolor and soaked with Gothic details, the film’s orgasmic battle between the creator and the creation is great symbolism between man and his creator. Though I believe the release to be heavily edited, this is still a great release.

Evil Gets Sleazy! Sexcula review!

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Alright! Vintage horror porn! Well, maybe not vintage, but definitely retro porn! Director John Holbrook directs his own horror spoof Sexcula in 1974 nearly 40 years prior to the more recent spoof entitled This Ain’t Dracula XXX. Neither flick will scare your pants off, but somehow your pants will still come off especially with Debbie Collin’s as the sleazy Countess Sexcula!

This campy sexcapade blends horror with hardcore, bushy pornography that includes a the horny Countess Sexcula, a buxom blonde that can’t wait to sink her teeth into the next willing male, and her cousin Dr. Fallatingstein, a saucy brunette who builds a pleasure mate with a serious flaccid problem. Sexcula is brought in to help her cousin in trying to “lift” her mate’s spirits with various seductive pleasures and other depraved methods.

Striptease Gorilla!

Striptease Gorilla!

Honestly, I’ve never heard of Sexcula so when I popped the Synapse and Impulse Picture’s disc into the player, I was pleasantly shocked that Sexcula turned out to be a full-fledged pornographic movie; once I saw the tip of the penis being swirled around the lips of Debbie Collins I knew I was in for a treat! Collin’s doesn’t just get naked, she gets naked plus performing scene after scene and perform the nasty after the nasty while a loose plot is woven in throughout…somewhere….you just have to kind of look past the sex to see the plot.

Sexcula becomes a bit kinky too. In order to get Dr. Fallatingstein’s man in working order, Sexcula conducts a striptease with a Gorilla involved! A sex-bot lies motionless on a table ready and willing to receive any throbbing member even from Orgie (prnounced Or-g) the lonely hunchback Quasimodo-type character. Also, and I think this is the most perverse part of the movie, the stick-it-to-the-institution-of-marriage porn scene where a couple can’t wait to say “I do” before a foursome madness ensues. The scene also brings a new meaning to “wife-swapping” as the bride takes on not only the groom, but the best man and the priest too!

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If the plot was given more thought and a better writing to it’s campiness, Sexcula would have been a stellar hit in porno world. I’d would have liked to have seen more horror a long with the sex, but with any porn spoof like This Ain’t Dracula XXX or Evil Head you have to unbalance the plot with more humor than horror or else the feel of the film more turn more into a snuff film. With the lushness of 1970s horror with the UK Hammer horror films and the United States’ exploitative films, the Canadians could not capitalize or even utilize the horror elements and instead focused more on peace and leave – the way the 70’s are stereotypically viewed.

I’m also disappointed that Jamie Orlando, Dr. Fallatingstein, didn’t grace us with her body. But I shouldn’t be bashing Sexcula; I shouldn’t be expecting more than what meets the eye; I should take things at face value. What should I expect from a movie named Sexcula? Just a ravaging romp of lots of hot un-condomized sex ready to spread all the love and diseases one could handle! Bring on the Sexcula and I must have SEX on the mind because I just reviewed another sex-titled filmed Sexsquatch which you can read my review of the film here.

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