Tag Archives: spoof

A Homosexual Hooks Up with a Porn Star and Treats Her EVILLY Sleazy. “The Last Foxtrot in Burbank” reviewed! (Full Moon Features / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“The Last Foxtrot in Burbank” Finally Recognized by Charles Band and Full Moon Features!

In the fictious setting of Burbank, France, a distraught and wandering Paul grieves over the loss of his gay, drag queen lover.  Wallowing in despair as well as barely entertaining his lover’s mother, Paul is on a half-hearted hunt for a new apartment and runs into Jeannine when the two meet looking at the same rental.  A mostly sexualized relationship ensues at the apartment with Paul treating the beautiful French woman and aspiring adult star like a piece of meat in a homosexual way, stemmed by his inadequacies in bed.  Jeanne, becoming fed up with Paul’s obsessive and polarizing behavior during their romantic tryst, lashes out in various ways, one as a gun-toting adult starlet that makes shooting scenes with her all that more dangerous to one’s health.  Paul’s health too becomes a target as Jeanne’s ultimate distaste for his floundering and obsessive ways, especially in condemning her pornographic lifestyle.

“The Last Foxtrot in Burback” is a film Charles Band (“Puppet Master”) desperately tried to erase and forget along with then newcomer editor, “Halloween’s” John Carpenter, as both filmmakers disassociated and disavowed its existed because of a couple reasons:  1) the romantic satirical spoof was not a horror/sci-fiction film both of them wanted to make at the time and 2) audiences were not appreciating it’s parodical and fleshy colored luster.  The film it removes inspirational humorous bones from is Marlon Brando’s “The Last Tango in Paris,” helmed by Bernardo Bertolucci who is dug a path of steamy sexual dramas, including “Stealing Beauty” and “The Dreamers.”  “The Last Foxtrot in Burbank” aimed to capitalize on its 1972 pushing-the-boundaries of sexualization success with writers Bill Haggard and Sam Vaughn behind the screenplay pages.  Band produced the film with filming held in Los Angeles and Marc Perilli serving as executive producer under the Federal Film Incorporation.

In his best Marlon Brando impersonation, Michael Pataki (“Halloween 4:  The Return of Michael Myers,” “The Baby”) opens his pastiche performance with hyperbole and flamboyance to emulate his version Paul to Brando’s version of Paul while still dishing the Brando-isms and deliveries.  Pataki also opens his trench coat to open-faced frontal nudity.  Yet, the one who is mostly nude is Sherry Denton in the role of Frenchwoman Jeanne.  Her role does harness the same essence of “The Last Tango in Pari’s” Maria Schneider, making Denton’s Jenne harder to define as she absorbs Paul’s verbal and emotional abuse, as she contemplates their arranged sexual rendezvous against her emotional withstand all, and how she manages a life in the adult industry as a sex object that runs parallel with being too a sex object outside the profession.  Pataki and Denton’s scenes together resemble that of a mother humoring a spoiled child.  Denton’s rather levelheaded compared to a full-blown exaggeration of Marton Brando in Michael Pataki with acute yelling spats and irrational sex requests that bleed into pleading and disappointment on a childish person of imprudence.  The gut punch of obsession, desire, and more refined melodrama is lost within Band’s spoof in a combination of bad writing and missed opportunities to sell the performances.  While this version of “The Last Foxtrot in Burbank” is not the pornographic scene splice in version, the actors still must be comfortable with each other in the story’s requirement of genitalia proximity and exposure as some scenes can be often graphic in its simulation of sex as well as be humiliating.  The cast rounds out with Merlouch Drabin, Sally Marr (“Young Lust”), Simmy Bow, and I. William Quinn (“Alligator”).

Supposedly, “The Last Foxtrot in Burbank” is a shot-for-shot spoof but Charles Band’s picture has jagged edges around a nonconformist narrative whereas “The Last Tango in Paris” abides by more linear storytelling.  The gags are not particular funny unless you’ve seen the Brando film and have a puerile sense of humor, but even then, the gags are terribly heavy fisted in a strive to really make light of sexual casualness and obsession in a conduit of Brando’s mumble and gravelly discord with the occasional outburst of hyperbolic flair.  For those who haven’t seen the Brando film, “The Last Foxtrot in Burbank” will be totally lost without a reference, especially the France set story shows it’s budget with the English-laden business and directional signs that play into the running gag of the fictious city that combines Burbank, California and Paris, France.   One could see why Charles Band and John Carpenter wanted to disassociate and distance themselves from this film but for both filmmakers, it’s a significant first film that kind of redirected their career paths when they knew comedy, such as this one, wasn’t their forte.  Charles Band even went as far as destroying all copies of the film and changing his name to a pseudonym, Carlo Bokino, to erase all involvement but he unsuccessful and a print was discovered unphased by his attempts to eradicate all known evidence.  Today, Band accepts his first film and even catalogue’s it with a No. 0 on the spine that makes it official Charlie canon. 

The first official and unofficial film of Charles Band’s career comes to Blu-ray home video from Band’s Full Moon Features in an unlikely genre release from the horror and science fiction regular.  The AVC encoded, 1080p high-definition, BD25 comes uncut and uncensored, transferred from an original negative donated from the UCLA archives under an anonymous donor.  Not much is stated here about what kind of a transfer we’re treated but the 2K scan appears adequate with a freshened image with moderate color saturation and details.  There are times the image appearance has a slightly faded realism, similar to that of William Friedkin’s “The French Connection” where details can be soft at times and ungraded.  Most scenes are better than not with palpable textures around more closeups and medium shots.  Skin tones are little more on the orange side, likely due to the chemical dye in the exposure that has an orange base which results in a natural, fringed tint.  The Blu-ray is presented in a widescreen aspect ratio 1.78:1.  Audio comes with an English LPCM 5.1 and a Stereo 2.0.  Both audio formats provide a crisp track of a dialogue, ambience, and what soundtrack is present, but the surround sound does little to enhance the film with its lack of off-camera or multi-directional scenes with mostly centered performances by the actors and not a ton of action.  The stereo 2.0 suffices.  No hissing or crackling present and the interference is kept to a suitable minimum to digest all its wacky dialogue.  The physical presence of Full Moon’s Blu-ray runs the same course as the others with a standard Amaray Blu-ray case and single-sided sleeve art with no other tangible attributes.  The nearly full-bodied orange colored sleeve mirrors “The Last Tango in Paris’” art to an extent and Full Moon uses stills with nudity on the back cover as an added perk.  The 56 minute Blu-ray, shorter because the cut of the hardcore inserts, is rated R and unlocked for multi-region playback. 

Last Rites: “The Last Foxtrot in Burbank” is a hard sell with its flat lampooning of “The Last Tango in Paris.” A handful of sleaze to be had but there’s nothing more cringy than watching histrionics for an extremely niche market.

“The Last Foxtrot in Burbank” Finally Recognized by Charles Band and Full Moon Features!

White Space Men are the EVIL Captains of the Zombie-inducing Slave Trade and Intergalactic Fast-Food Industry! “Race War: The Remake” reviewed! (Wild Eye Releasing: Raw & Extreme / DVD)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Get Caught Up in the Middle of a “Race War: The Rmeake” on DVD

Drug dealer Baking Soda is feeling the peddling pangs of dropped traffic for his crystal pure PCP.  With no one buying his smack, he and his friend G.E.D. reside back home to drink with their close fish-headed friend Kreech and sleep off the day’s failure to try again tomorrow.  Their persistence to sell puts them on the radar of a white supremacy group vending a new drug on the street, the cause for Baking Soda’s drop in sales, but their product isn’t just going to get users high, it will turn them into flesh-eating zombie slaves.  When G.E.D. is kidnapped by the group, Baking Soda and Krrech have to run through the list of suspects – Jews, Hispanics, Chinese, and others – for the source of his sale woes and to rescue his friend, guns blazing if necessary or if unnecessary, but there may be more extraterrestrial motives that haven’t yet been unearthed. 

“Race War: The Remake” is a 2012 politically incorrect, ultra-offensive spoof comedy and blaxploitation horror from writer-director Tom Martino.  A Tom Savini school graduate, te special effects artist Martino (“Dead of Knight,” “Return to Nuke ‘Em High Volume 1,” “Doll Factory”) takes helm in the director’s chair for his debut in indie feature productions with one of the wildest, crudest, and tactlessly funny comedy-horrors I’ve seen since Troma’s “The Taint.”  Set in and around Houston, Texas and the greater surrounding area with guerrilla filming in locations such as the Houston Space Center and shooting with permission at the Darke Institute’s Phobia Haunted House, “Race War:  The Remake” doesn’t have an originating film despite the title in what is considered a spoof sequel – think of examples “Dude Bro Massacre III” and it’s standalone release or the non-existent second sequel between  “Thankskilling” and “Thankskilling III.”  Martino produces his own work under his outside of Houston-based company DWN Productions that doubles in making horror theme masks, busts, and props.

Thick-skinned actors comfortable with the narrative’s uncomfortable themes begin with Howard Calvert and Jamelle Kent as Baking Soda and G.E.D.  Calbert and Kent have become regulars in the Tom Martino catalogue of cast members for his more recent films and their humble beginnings in “Race War:  The Remake” proved their longevity to stay with the director, who is white, who wrote extensive race, gender, sexuality, and fart jokes in the context of a comedy-horror with cringy stereotypes and genuine tributes.  Calvert and Kent have great comedic timing to pull off all the zany editing, sound bites, and practical effects distaste Martino has flaming axe tosses at them to achieve his vision.  The two are joined by Danny McCarty, who would become another regular and be the visual effects supervisor for the film, dressed head-to-toe in loose-fitting urban attire to match the theme of Calvert and Kent’s black A-shirt and do-rags but his hands and face are masked to become the Creature from the Black Lagoon, aka Kreech.  Martino’s “Race War:  The Remake” isn’t just about the terrestrial races but intergalactic ones as well and we soon see that later on with the intentions of neo-Nazi white drug suppliers, led by Matt Rogers’ vulgarity in the horseshoe mustached Tex.  There are various other encountered gross stereotypes in the trio’s urban quest, such as a large nosed, greedy Jewish lawyer, Mexican luchador bodyguards, and a Pai Mei-esque Shifu speaking gibberish har har sounds and listing off popular Americanized Chinese dishes in attempt to be derogatorily funny.  With a film titled as “Race Wars:  The Remake,” the cast is mostly white and black actors poking uncouth fun with a big unconcerned and insensitive stick with Corey Fuller, Kerryn Ledet, Sam Rivas, and Coady Allen listed in the cast.

“Race Wars:  The Remake” isn’t funny, it’s stupid funny!  Having grown up in the 1980-2000s, consciously I might add, Martino’s politically incorrect and his brand of juvenile humor resonates with me, reminding me how cinema has become numb to the spoof humor.  Granted, Martino’s humor is over the top cutting, gross, and full of jest bigotry, traits that would trigger many in today’s sensitive awareness, and while cringy after a tasteless joke may result, there’ll likely be some a side of the mouth chuckle to go along with it.  On the opposite side of the spectrum, Martino tributes to references of certain popular culture icons, though slightly bastardizing some for laughs.  From Peter Jackson’s “Bad Taste,” to “Creature from the Black Lagoon,” to even “Mortal Kombat,” “Race Wars: The Remake” integrates the best parts of each these staples of pop culture and that gives his film a leg up on other offensive spoofs of the same crass caliber.  Th one negative story structure item to  highlight is the act one narrative takes a while to work the gears and get going as it attempts to setup the 40oz-drinking chumminess of Baking Soda, G.E.D., and Kreech but lags to a stagnant stall for hot second while still surround with the here-and-there gags, themed with G.E.D. homosexual tendencies and Baking Soda’s drug peddling woes on and off the streets, but once the antics pickup, there’s no stopping Martino and his filmic entourage from raining down an assault of insults. 

If you’re easily offended or put off by off-color race comedy, then Wild Eye Releasing’s “Race War:  The Remake” DVD is not for you!  For me, and those like me, unaffected by the type of uncouth spoof, Tom Martino’s debut is for you!  The Raw & Extreme sublabel’s DVD is MPEG2 encoded, 720p resolution, on a DVD5.  Presented in widescreen 1.78:1 aspect ratio, there is a breadth of visual presentation not confined within’ pillar and letterboxing but is stretched vertically that affects the already par level resolution.  Guerilla filmmaking also involves no production lighting and natural lighting is more than used here in Martino’s run around the Houston area, but one thing good about Martino’s naturally lit cinematography is its neutral set, avoiding under and overexposure.  The lesser used interiors have some tint lighting and key lighting to avoid total flat, dark outcomes but give the image a haze of hue, especially inside Baking Soda’s living room scene in the first act that sees a thin layer of red and green.  The English PCM Stereo has inconsistencies in volume.  Some scenes discern quieter than others because of the guerilla filmmaking constraints as well as just using commercial recording equipment.  However, the dialogue does land well enough for the jokes to hit and overlayed sound effects greatly lift the sound design where needed, such as with the Mortal Kombat video game sequence or with the array-spray of gunshots throughout and soundboard gag effects.  There are no subtitles with this release.  Included in the special features is Tom Martino director’s commentary, a gag/blooper reel, a behind-the-scenes reel of the gory moments, and Wild Eye Releasing trailers that include “Race War:  The Remake.”    The clear, ECO-Light Amaray DVD case houses stellar covert art illustration work by Belgium graphic artist, Stemo, with the inlaid narrative intensity and characters in collage.  The reverse side includes a gory still from one of the scenes.  The disc is pressed with the same front cover image but there are no other physical materials.  The unrated DVD runs for 95 minutes and is region free.

Last Rites:  Wild Eye Releasing re-unleashes another outrageous title on their Raw & Extreme label and the Tom Martino film is every ounce of the sentiment in it’s indie underground hokum of gore, racism, homosexuality, and aliens! 

Get Caught Up in the Middle of a “Race War: The Rmeake” on DVD

Evil Doesn’t Care for pH Levels! “Hot Tub Party Massacre” Review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on


In the midst of a deranged serial killer’s escape from prison, Four Delta Omega sisters enter a school raffle to represent their sorority and end up winning an all expenses paid hotel suite complete with a luxurious hot tub. As student bodies fall in the maniac’s wake, the sisters flight toward fun times before taking notice how many of their friends and fellow students become unfortunate slashed-up victims and just when things are getting wet and carnal, the killer checks in, crashing good times, and making mince meat out of the lucky winners and their boyfriends.

Budget horror filmmaker Chris Greenaway gets his hands into the sisterhood horror genre with his 2016 written and directed tongue-and-cheek horror-comedy “Hot Tub Party Massacre.” Campy. gratuitous. Schlocky. Greenaway has covered all the bases of a satirical slasher sporting a killer wielding a small garden cultivator – “cultivator” is a good title or moniker for another campy slasher as long as you put the proverbial “the” in front of it. Instead, we get the Canadian cult no-so-classic “Hot Tub Party Massacre” because nothing says killer party than an actual killer at your party and here the party is wet and wild with an escaped maniac on the loose, ready to randomly slice and dice the unscrupulous and individualistic sisters of Delta Omega sorority.

While there’s not a sole headliner to Greenaway’s film, like a Jamie Lee Curtis to Laurie Strobe or a Neve Campbell to Scream, the sorority girls attending the bubbly hot tub affair function as a collective headlining mass of alternative women. In alphabetical order, Amanda Nickels, Erin Hyndman, Jynx Vandersteen (“Father’s Day”), and Sarah Foster each represent Delta Omega’s finest in their respective personas as popular, bookworm, party (or slut?), and goth. The quintessential tropes to any routine slasher star as surprisingly benevolent with their upbeat attitudes and gracious acceptance of all kinds of people. When Hyndman’s nerdy Bethany states she probably shouldn’t attend trip, party girl Brandi, aka Vandersteen, counteracts with you’re one of us, a Delta Omega, and only the best become Delta Omegas. Their stalker, the elusive serial killer, is played by Mark Kiazyk trying to do his best Michael Myers impersonation from the chest down, as he’s frequently screened. Kiazyk’s has the look, a face of pure hatred, and I wish that was more prevalent as it’s a face for television. Rounding out the cast are Delta Omega boyfriends Danny Warren and Ken Wright, “Rust’s” Corey Taylor as a school spirited University newscaster, “you’re all doomed” guy Nicholas MacDonald, and the indie scream queen Brinke Stevens making her bit cameo.

“Hot Tub Party Massacre” is essentially one big homage to the enshrined horror flicks and pays it’s respects to, as aforementioned, Halloween with the killer. Also gives a head nod to Friday the 13th Part II in which a couple are jointly impaled in a very similar frame-by-frame sequence. Even one of the official poster concepts is a direct take from “Slumber Party Massacre” and perhaps the Delta Omega is a sign of respect to another Brinke Stevens’ classic, “Die Delta Die!” Greenaway’s “Hot Tub Party Massacre,” by title alone, is not a serious horror film looking to ripoff the foundational slashers, but relishes in a lighthearted satire that begins in a realm of Zuckeresque that loses the visual gag steam at the tail end. The montage of gratuitous nudity of Amanda Nickela, Jynx Vandersteen, and Sarah Foster notch up the “Hot Tub’s” antics in fleshing out the skin craving viewers who can’t get enough of blood and boobs. Awarding this feature as a good film, as a pivotal staple in horror, is an extreme over exaggeration and a poor case of judgement, but consider only chocking “Hot Tub Party Massacre” up to being Chris Greenaway’s ode to the archetype slasher genre.

Ron Bonk and his Sub Rosa Studios, along with MVDVisual, proudly present “Hot Tub Party Massacre” onto DVD that absolutely belongs right in SRS’s arsenal of cheap and outrageous horror. The Full Screen 1.33:1 presentation is what it is, an unmatted sign of low resolution and blotchy, patchy image quality. The 2.0 audio track is a seesaw of fidelity where some aspects of the dialogue are barely audible and then the high pitched shrieks, and their are many shrieks, could pierce ear drums through popping static noise. There wasn’t an expectation of par level video-audio quality, but the due diligence is to publicize, not necessarily criticize, that of the DVD technical contents. The DVD cover is straight out of a photo shoot with a round, thong-cladded booty and long legs very shapely in front of an in ground hot tub. FYI – the hot tub in the movie is above ground and in a hotel. Bonus features include commentary tracks, behind-the-scenes footage (that contains more nudity, by the way), and trailers. Chris Greenaway’s “Hot Tub Party Massacre” has a premise of a short-lived concept that has been run through the kitty-grinder more than once over, but unquestionably is a honoring low-rent tributing spoof of cult classic works that obviously inspired the Canadian horror filmmaker.

Get wet with “Hot Tub Party Massacre!”

Rabid Woman Weight Loss Program!

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Call today! If you want to lose weight, genetically and with ton of side effects, check out this ad for the new extreme weight loss that really works!

Well sorta…

It’ll just turn you into a crazed lunatic and you’ll just not devour any human food…maybe just human flesh?

Evil Gets Sleazy! Sexcula review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on

sexcula

Alright! Vintage horror porn! Well, maybe not vintage, but definitely retro porn! Director John Holbrook directs his own horror spoof Sexcula in 1974 nearly 40 years prior to the more recent spoof entitled This Ain’t Dracula XXX. Neither flick will scare your pants off, but somehow your pants will still come off especially with Debbie Collin’s as the sleazy Countess Sexcula!

This campy sexcapade blends horror with hardcore, bushy pornography that includes a the horny Countess Sexcula, a buxom blonde that can’t wait to sink her teeth into the next willing male, and her cousin Dr. Fallatingstein, a saucy brunette who builds a pleasure mate with a serious flaccid problem. Sexcula is brought in to help her cousin in trying to “lift” her mate’s spirits with various seductive pleasures and other depraved methods.

Striptease Gorilla!

Striptease Gorilla!

Honestly, I’ve never heard of Sexcula so when I popped the Synapse and Impulse Picture’s disc into the player, I was pleasantly shocked that Sexcula turned out to be a full-fledged pornographic movie; once I saw the tip of the penis being swirled around the lips of Debbie Collins I knew I was in for a treat! Collin’s doesn’t just get naked, she gets naked plus performing scene after scene and perform the nasty after the nasty while a loose plot is woven in throughout…somewhere….you just have to kind of look past the sex to see the plot.

Sexcula becomes a bit kinky too. In order to get Dr. Fallatingstein’s man in working order, Sexcula conducts a striptease with a Gorilla involved! A sex-bot lies motionless on a table ready and willing to receive any throbbing member even from Orgie (prnounced Or-g) the lonely hunchback Quasimodo-type character. Also, and I think this is the most perverse part of the movie, the stick-it-to-the-institution-of-marriage porn scene where a couple can’t wait to say “I do” before a foursome madness ensues. The scene also brings a new meaning to “wife-swapping” as the bride takes on not only the groom, but the best man and the priest too!

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If the plot was given more thought and a better writing to it’s campiness, Sexcula would have been a stellar hit in porno world. I’d would have liked to have seen more horror a long with the sex, but with any porn spoof like This Ain’t Dracula XXX or Evil Head you have to unbalance the plot with more humor than horror or else the feel of the film more turn more into a snuff film. With the lushness of 1970s horror with the UK Hammer horror films and the United States’ exploitative films, the Canadians could not capitalize or even utilize the horror elements and instead focused more on peace and leave – the way the 70’s are stereotypically viewed.

I’m also disappointed that Jamie Orlando, Dr. Fallatingstein, didn’t grace us with her body. But I shouldn’t be bashing Sexcula; I shouldn’t be expecting more than what meets the eye; I should take things at face value. What should I expect from a movie named Sexcula? Just a ravaging romp of lots of hot un-condomized sex ready to spread all the love and diseases one could handle! Bring on the Sexcula and I must have SEX on the mind because I just reviewed another sex-titled filmed Sexsquatch which you can read my review of the film here.

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