Prudish EVIL Takes on the Arcade in “Joysticks!” reviewed! (MVD Visual Rewind Collection / Blu-ray)

Get Your Herky-Jerkey Hands on “Joysticks’ on MVD Blu-ray!

Arcade manager Jefferson Bailey runs his grandfather’s business like a nonstop party lined with token-operated video game machines, stocked with a complete concession counter, and welcoming beautiful women to enjoy not only the endless entertainment of the arcade machines at all hours but also to gush over his handsome, easygoing demeanor. With an expert gamer and a newly hired dweeb helping to run the arcade, Bailey has a lot of free time to enjoy the perks of popularity until a wealthy businessman, Joseph Rutter, continues to have a hard time keeping his entitled daughter away from the arcade and Bailey which he considers both to be corrupting the town’s youth. Rutter, his two bumbling nephews, and a peevish gamer try everything in their power to shut down the arcade but Bailey, the employees, and the lucrative patronages won’t subside without a fight, even if that means settling everything on a single video game battle.

An obscure and forgotten teen sex comedy from the early 1980s, “Joysticks” is a celebration of the coin-operated video game at the height of the arcade’s heyday. Director Greydon Clark (“Satan’s Cheerleaders,” “Without Warning”) helms the Al Gomez, Mickey Epps, and Curtis Burch screenplay with ton of sex appeal, a display of 8-bit gaming graphics, and a cheesy, chunky storyline of big, bad entitlement versus the small, teen-run business of fun, sex, and videogames. The 1983 film was shot in Los Angeles and had introduced to the big screen not only a few of the more popular game titles – Pac-Man, Millipede, Pole Position, Naughty Boy, and Defender 2 – of the period but also introduced a new game with Midway’s Satan’s Hollow. “Joysticks” is a Greydon Park Production with associate producers in Curtis Burch, Daryl Kass (“Darkman”), and George Perkins (“Teen Wolf”) with also Clair Farley and Raylan D. Jensen serving as executive producers.

Headlining “Joysticks” is legendary, recognizable actor of “Walking Tall” and “The Shadow of Chikara,” Joe Don Baker, as the gruffly, arrogant suit Joseph Rutter going up against the then arcading-entrenched youth, represented primarily by actor-turned-director Scott McGinnis (“Last Gasp”) as the fun-loving arcade manager Jefferson Bailey. Baker fits into that stereotypical group of the out of touch older generation who doesn’t understand new and fascinating entertainment technology that attracts young people and, as he would understand it, these arcades are nothing more than the exterminating flame that attracts the unsuspecting moth. Bailey makes for a good fun while upholding certain convictions that doesn’t entail him being the villain of the story; those attributes fall not only into Baker’s lap but also Jonathan Gries as the eccentric gothic gang-leader King Vidiot. The “Fright Night 2” and “TerrorVision” actor, who outside the horror realm is well known for being Uncle Rico to the titular “Napolean Dynamite,” sports blue-red hair, cladded in leather, and has a hold over four equally garbed and dyed-colored women as his subjects to his peculiar behavior around the arcade. Initially Gries felt like an integrated part of the clientry until miffed by the arcade’s resident joystick and buttons master of gameplay, Dorfus (Jim Greenleaf, “Evil Speak”) in a one-on-one challenge. If “Joysticks” is a film about the joys of an arcade hall that’s precious to protect from overly concerned parents, the Dorfus character is pretty much the antithesis of that theme having once been the high school thin valedictorian now a sloppy, flatulating, and overweight gamer. Another character that doesn’t quite fit into the equation is the nerdy Eugene (Leif Green) whose character predates “Revenge of the Nerds” that released a year later but didn’t quite absorb into the fold of the only other companioning misfit in Dorfus. Where Eugene succeeds, with the help of Green’s performance, is the bumbling dumb-smart guy whose innocence instills more trouble for himself than anything else, especially with the braless women around him with Kym Malin (“Weird Science”), Kim G. Michel, Becky LeBleau (“School Spirit”), Lynda Wiesmeier (“Avenging Angel”), Morgan Lofting, and Corinne Bohrer (“Zapped!”). The supporting cast fills out with John Diehl (“Stargate”), John Voldstad (“Leprechaun”), and Logan Ramsey (“Doctor Hackenstein”).

As far as in the canon of 80’s teen sex comedies, “Joysticks” fits the bill as a nonpolitically correct cinematic lark with all the goofy and raunchy bells and whistles that come standard with these types of movies but there’s something missing from the ’83 feature that doesn’t quite put the categorical entry at the same quintessential high level as “Revenge of the Nerds,” “Private School,” or “Porky’s.” The narrative trajectory often stays in stagnant territory, or in more detailed terms a lopsidedness, instead of a back-and-forth, tit-for-tat jostling contest that hardly challenges the opposition to face dire straits. Also, too often does “Joysticks’s” jokes fall flat, perhaps the lost in flavor is due in part to the film’s 40-year-old comedic gags, that mostly reoccurs with Dorfus passing horrible gas or Eugene stumbling into an unlikely sexpot to his disadvantage. There is substance in a deeply rooted character arc with the once pro-level Jefferson Bailey unable to play his beloved coin-operated machines because of a traumatic event involving a past love of his life that results in him trembling, sweating, and getting into his own headspace but that, too, is obstructed by the warmed-over objective that generally has a loveless love-interest in a mostly male dominated principal cast, a short-fused motivation reasoning for most characters, and a rough patch polish, such as with that ear-throbbing main theme song, that tries to compensate with wacky situational and sexual archetypes which are not unpalatable to say the least but can’t keep “Joysticks” from respawning after all its lives have been used up.

Catalogued as number 58th on the MVD Rewind Collection banner, in conjunction with the Multicom Entertainment Group, “Joysticks” receives special package design that will surely please fans of older video game consoles and cartridges, but the packaging keeps with the Rewind Collection overall theme that is a testament to its label.  The AVC encoded, single-layer BD25 presents the fill in full 1080p HD and in an anamorphic widescreen aspect ratio of 1.78:1, based off a 2015 2K scan and restoration of the 25mm film elements.  This 2015 transfer is likely from the Scorpion Releasing limited number release from nearly a decade ago, licensed to MVD for broader and more easily accessible distribution.  Though an older transfer, the color saturation still pops albeit some heftier grainy frames that stumbles the overall consistency from time-to-time.  This ultimately also affects the details to an extent, especially on medium shots where the action is pulled away from the camera to get a wider view.  Closeups and extreme closeups look better with tighter detail and better contrast.  The English LPCM 2.0 mono is the only available audio track.  The lossless format provides ample volume and is a real pedigree of the original audio recording.  Dialogue has most a firm grasp on the layer design with no inaudible inadequacies but can often be anemic in more noisy settings, such as the arcade where bleeps, bloops, and other video game noises invade the audio field and dilute distinction and depth.  Legion’s “Joysticks” theme track also renders palely in his cheesy metaphorical lyrics that mix sex with video game playing, even if as appropriate as it may be to the context.  English subtitles are available for selection.  Special features include an archival feature length commentary and interview with director Greydon Clark but also has a brand-new roundtable commentary with MVD’s director of acquisition Eric D. Wilkinson, Cereal at Midnight host Heath Holland, and Diabolik DVD’s Jesse Nelson.  There’s a short film “Coin Slots” which is a faux “Joysticks” trailer that costars Eric D. Wilkinson and directed by Youtuber and producer Newt Wallen.  MVD’s physical presence of “Joysticks” is where the fun is at with an Atari themed orange slipcover with boxed in picture of sex-comedy appeal poster art, a more slimdown version design that’s more attuned to the MVD Rewind Collection look for the cover art in the clear Blu-ray Amaray case, and a Blu-ray disc pressed with the coloring and markings of an Atari game cartridge.  A more complete version of the cartridge look is on the reverse side of the reverse cover art, preferably for this reviewer to mix up the designs between slipcover and cover art.  A folded, back-and-front illustrated mini-poster of both cover arts is housed in the inside the case insert.  The region free release has a runtime of 88 minutes and is rated R. 

Last Rites: The packaging alone is worth the cost of this inexplicably obscure and quaintly waxen teen sex-comedy that now breathes new life on a more accessible high-definition Blu-ray release from MVD Visual!

Get Your Herky-Jerkey Hands on “Joysticks’ on MVD Blu-ray!

Triangular Space EVIL is the Sign of the Beast! “The Dark Side of the Moon” reviewed!


In the year 2022, orbital satellites carry nuclear missiles and maintain flight patterns around the moon. When a satellite repair ship, known as a “refab” ship called Spaecore 1, attempts to intercept a satellite for maintenance, the system wide computer goes into an unexplained power failure that jeopardizes communications, life support, and navigation. Drifting helpless toward sector Centrus B-40, the dark side of the moon, all hope will be lost within 24 hours unless operations can be restored, but a mysterious spacecraft, NASA’s Discovery shuttle, heads toward them and docks onto their outer hull without so much of a hail from the shuttle. Captain Flynn and Lt. Giles investigate a seemingly abandoned ship until coming across a dead body of a presumed missing NASA astronaut, eviscerated with an opening left in a perfect triangle as the cause of death, and that opens the door to more questions than answer as a sinister presence boards their ship, pursuing damnation for their souls.

Just think, in two more years, weapons of mass destruction satellites will loom just above fluffy white clouds, ready to mushroom clouds out of targets with a 10-ton yield; at least that’s what director D.J. Webster and the screenwriters, identical twins Carey W. Hayes and Chad Hayes, modeled the future when conjuring up this delectable Sci-Fi horror film approx. 20 years ago. With special effects models and techniques that withstand against powerhouse space films, such as from the immaculate effects of Alien franchise, “The Dark Side of the Moon” becomes more than just a 1973 Pink Floyd album title Fabricated out of warped creativity of old and new concepts with a Biblical horror base that only the 1990’s could loosely spin into an hour and 27 minute feature, for many of the filmmakers involved, “The Dark Side of the Moon” credits as their first taste of a feature length, large scale production, especially with the mainly music video director D.J. Webster, who loves his closeups, and director of photography Russ T. Alsobrook, as they auto clicks into a team that seemingly have experience of seasoned veterans or, perhaps, spent some secretive, unlogged time in space. Who knows, but the outcome ruminates about the dark side of religion and how each of us deal with it internally.

When mullets and giant framed glasses are afoot, the late 80’s, early 90’s filming era is beyond evident with interestingly gritty characters lined up for an evil figure eager to knock them down and, of course, the story’s lead character is the mullet sporting pilot named Lt. Giles Stewart who is unwittingly thrust into the fast track of a hero’s lane. Giles’s atheism framework has a pleasant sardonicism about it when face-to-face with the immortal conqueror of his ship and crew. Will Bledsoe paints Giles as such as faithless space pilot, bound to duty, and willing to do anything to just not save himself, but others. One of the only recognizable faces, at least for myself, in the cast is John Diehl. The “Stargate” and “The Shield” television actor is best at being a wild card in turmoil situations and as shipmate Phillip Jennings, the same can be expected without being utterly conventional or warrant any kind of typecast label. Another actor to note is Alan Blumenfeld as the ship’s panicky Dr. Dreyfuss Steiner. Blumenfeld, who had a role in the best Jason Voorhees film, in my humble opinion, “Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives, is once again stalked by a larger-than-life villain while maintaining a profusely sweaty persona that’s symbolically intended to be true, unadulterated fear. As a whole, the cast is amazing regardless of some first time filmmakers at the helm, rounding out with “Re-Animator’s” Robert Sampson as the ship’s Capt. Flynn, Joe Turkel from the first “Blade Runner,” “Blood Frenzy’s,” and overall erotic thriller goddess, Wendy MacDonald, stunt man (“Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2, “Army of Darkness”) Ken Lesco, and another “Friday the 13th” actor, Camilla More, or Tina from “The Final Chapter,” as the stationary sexy, ship’s onboard computer-robot named Lesli – think on the same lines as Mother from “Alien,” but in the flesh.

What makes “The Dark Side of the Moon” very interesting is the film being an unofficial precursor to other science fiction horror films like “Event Horizon” that was released roughly seven years later. Space as this gateway to Hell concept is sorely under-appreciated and underutilized. Space is already vastly frightening to begin with and by adding a devilish abyss aspect to it makes the idea an absorbingly scary thought. What’s also fascinating is the Hayes brother. “The Dark Side of the Moon” is the brothers’ roots film; the proverbial patient zero that spread successful movie writing careers for the twins, spawning turn of the century horror with the remake of “House of Wax” that saw the on-screen death of Paris Hilton, had “Underworld” star Kate Beckinsale track down a killer in Antarctica in “Whiteout,” and they penned “The Conjuring” that constructed its very own universe.

“The Dark Side of the Moon” comes in at #2 on the Unearthed Films’ Classics label distributed MVDVisual. The newly restored 4K transfer of the Wild Street Pictures production is presented in a widescreen, 1.85:1 aspect ratio, region A Blu-ray release. Surprisingly sharp despite consistent low-lit scenes and not as washed like previous VHS versions, this restoration fine tunes the nitty-gritty specifics needed for proper presentation that doesn’t falter from heavy digital noise or blotch artifacts and shows no signs of enhancing The English language LPCM 2.0 audio track is strapping for a dual channel format. Dialogue pronounced clearly, ambient spaceship clinks and clunks create atmospheric range and depth, and the relentless brooding score by “Society’s” Mark Ryder and Phil Davies delivers shuddering spinal-tingles without being monotonously dull. Bonus features include a commentary with executive producer Paul and Unearthed Films’ Stephen Biro, interviews with Alan Blumenfeld, FX artist R. Christopher Biggs, and stuntman Chuck Borden, plus vintage audio track, trailers, photo gallery, and a insert booklet that dives into about the production and the cast. All packed into a nice little slipcover package. “The Dark Side of the Moon” pioneers into the future of space horror as a good ole dread-inducing fear-monger of the great expanse, deserving this Unearthed Films’ release, hands down.