Category Archives: comedy

Sex-Crazed EVIL Goes to an All-Girl School! “Delinquent School Girls” reviewed! (VCI Entertainment / Dual Format Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Delinquent School Girls” on Blu-ray and DVD from VCI Entertainment!

Three insane asylum inmates incarcerated for their perversive and deviant acts escape their small confines of a cell and the electroshock abuse.  On the run, the people they encounter to pillage what they need find themselves either enamored with them in drink and spirit as well as the initially force exploitative intercourse that becomes more pleasurable and desired.  When they invade the outskirts of an all-girls private school, they stumble upon an elder biology professor taking advantage of a roofied young admirer, two busty kitchen cooks giving them only minor trouble before having their way them, and two poolside lasses eager to be pleased.  When they encounter what remains of the student body left behind on holiday leave in the gymnasium, the group of voluptuous young women are subjected to the whims of the maniacs before they fight back with their learned karate lessons as they spill out of their karate uwagi jackets. 

There’s no decade genre that can more outrageous and controversial than the scantily-cladded, seventies exploitation and Greg Corarito’s 1975 “Delinquent School Girls” fits the bill with sexed-up prison escapees finding themselves fleeing into the sheltering arms of half-naked and promiscuously feisty schoolgirls.  Also known around the world as “Carnal Madness,” and more selectively, alternatively titled as “The Love Maniacs,” “The Sizzlers,” and “Bad Girls,” the film is a mix between sexploitation and crude comedy, penned by the American B-movie and pornographic director of “The Sadistic Hypnotist” and “Hard on the Trail” Corarito and alongside fellow adult oriented filmmaker John Lamb (“The Starlets”) and Maurice Smith (“The Joys of Jezebell,” “Love, Swedish Style”).  Riding the Russ Meyer gravy train of slapstick sleaze and high energy antics, Smith and Lamb also serve as producers of the film that was shot under by Alpha Productions in Santa Barbara, California. 

Not to be taken overly seriously, despite its licentious context of male prisoners holding hostage and raping women, “Delinquent School Girls” isn’t centrically focused on the schoolgirls although the title suggests as such.  The attention is mostly set on the three fugitives absconding from law enforcement and these are not just any prisoners; these are demented sex maniacs.  While the label is perversely provoking, only one of them is truly aberrant in his hunt for the opposite sex.  Being more of the muscle and the muscular brute of the group is Bob Minor (“Coffy,” “Foxy Brown”).  A regular actor in early blaxploitation, Minor indulges his character Dick Peters’ sexual deviancies by nearly bedding every woman he encounters and compares himself to being God’s sexual gift to women.  Of course, the women love it because they’re either sexually repressed by low libido men or just naïve and horny.  Peters is not however the leader of the pack, a position taken with great ostentation and theatrical direction by the demanding Carl C. Clooney who talks a good act of deviancy but never really follows through with any carnality.   Clooney is played by Michael Pataki who we just reviewed as a Marlon Brando impersonator in the “The Last Tango in Paris’ sex-spoof, “The Last Foxtrot in Burbank,” directed by debuting Charles Band.  Pataki does a fair share of impersonations but none really home in on a certain celeb, but he uses his farcical approach to be the pack leader that calls the shots and reins in a randy Peters with absurd choice considering their fugitive state.  The last of the trio is Stephen Stucker, who you might recognize from the “Airplane” spoof movies as the flamboyant air traffic controller with his trademark androgynous voice and mannerisms, playing the “gay man” of the group and has zilch sexual aggression or desires toward the women.  Considering the female cast there’s isn’t one that stands out as a full-fledged protagonist in what is more of a collective effort amongst the troupe, beginning with some slightly more principal leads in porn star Colleen Brennan, a busy and fiery redhead who takes no crap from a male dominated society.  Before full transitioning to the adult industry with such titles as “Daisy Chain,” “Maid in Manhattan,” and “Tower of Power,” Brennan was at the cusp of sexploitation with genre films like Russ Meyer’s “Supervixens” and Stu Segalls “The Dirty Dolls.”   Promiscuous women flow left-and-right through the entirety of “Delinquent Schoolgirls” with other notable performances from Zoe Grant, Debbie Raymond, Brenda Miller, Jane Steele, Betty Johnson, Valerie Anderson, Kay Lange, Doree Vega, and nude model with large bombshell breasts, Roberta Pedon.  Ralph Campbell (“Hollywood 90028”) and John Carpenter regular peripheral actor George ‘Buck’ Flower also co-star

“Delinquent School Girls” is pervy but not grossly over-the-top in its sexploitation subgenre.  To counter the depravity and objectification, there’s theatrical melodramatics and plenty of comedy to offset a lopsided licentiousness.  Dick Peters provides the perversion, Carl C. Clooney provides the excessive, madman performance, and Bruce Wilson, played by Stucker, is a riot of feminine mannerisms and one-liners without being an oversized caricature of a gay man on screen.  The trio is almost like a ruffian version of the Three Stooges without the eye-poking, forehead slapping, hair pulling slapstick.  Clooney and gang are also a traversal entity, meaning they travel from their escaped holding cells to the school for troubled girls in a when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object scenario as the escapees run-through and overcome all obstacles in their path – an old man and his sexually frustrated wife, a roofie slipping biology teacher and his unconscious pupil, two feisty kitchen maids – until they meet the school age women in the middle of nightly karate class nonetheless.  That’s where the buck stop and the rebellion against the convict’s joyride comes to halt and in the middle is all the sullied interactions that kind of wind up being turned onto a corrected head – the sexually frustrated wife gets her fill while the husband gets amiably drunk with the two holding him hostage, the roofied girl is saved from a snake stimulated biology teacher and rapist, and the two kitchen maids happily share meal around a card table after being ravaged with no complaints.  While contextually the subject matter can be dark and sharp, “Delinquent School Girls” has a good-natured attitude about the whole ordeal that makes this emotional calorie intake all the lighter. 

Jumping jack jugs that spill right out, upskirts of high school schoolgirl outfits, and plenty of long-legged, bare-chest exposure, “Delinquent School Girls” bares the mark of sexploitation with pride and caters to a comedy that neutralizes the often shame audiences that comes with bleak and hard to swallow the exploitation of a slew of sexpot ladies in the film.  The first film on the Psychotronica label from VCI Entertainment, “Delinquent School Girls” arrives on a 2-dsic, dual-formatted, DVD and Blu-ray set.  The AVC encoded BD25 has a 1080p, high-definition resolution and the DVD is MPEG2 encoded DVD5 with an upscaled 720p standard definition.  The Blu-ray edges out the DVD counterpart with better clarity around the often congested in variables and in the restored 4K scanned transfer of the original 35mm negative that never provides a consistent detail quality or color.  Some cells appear yellowish, others are often speckled by blow up, a few has lighter contrasts that bleed and meld objects, but there are more scenes of well-delineated and detailed-oriented scenes that granular specifics on skin and textures.  Night sequences are hit-or-miss with a chiaroscuro lighting of key areas, such as Roberta Pedon’s extremely large and oval shaped breasts.  VCI transfer does it’s best to refine the cheaply and does a good job reconditioning previous home video versions, retaining healthy grain, some speckling, and little-to-no damage or compression follies.  The uncompressed English track, a LPCM 2.0 mono, is centered inlaid and focused but discerns any ensuing chaos well enough to provide distinct entities without being a cacophony.  Dialogue comes over clear and distinct; we get some real nice clarity and vocal difference from the three very contrasting convicts with their personalities.  There’s not in the depth or range department as medium shots are often overlaid with voiceover dialogue and range is limited to the Foley wallops of kicks and punches.  English subtitles are optional available on each disc.  Special features are included on each disc as well and they include an archived commentary by actor Bob minor with Los Angeles-based documentarian Elijah Drenner hosting, Pscyhotronica:  Dive into Cult Cinema featurette, and original trailers for the film.  The release comes in a traditional Blu-ray Amaray with reversible sleeve artwork containing pieces of original artwork.  Both discs are region free for the rated R release that has a softcore runtime of 89 minutes.

Last Rites: A comedy first with perversities as a secondary, “Delinquent School Girls” is a gambol of a good time in its eccentric and wanton unprincipled behaviors, saturated with feminine succulence and dastardly deviance.

“Delinquent School Girls” on Blu-ray and DVD from VCI Entertainment!

A Homosexual Hooks Up with a Porn Star and Treats Her EVILLY Sleazy. “The Last Foxtrot in Burbank” reviewed! (Full Moon Features / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“The Last Foxtrot in Burbank” Finally Recognized by Charles Band and Full Moon Features!

In the fictious setting of Burbank, France, a distraught and wandering Paul grieves over the loss of his gay, drag queen lover.  Wallowing in despair as well as barely entertaining his lover’s mother, Paul is on a half-hearted hunt for a new apartment and runs into Jeannine when the two meet looking at the same rental.  A mostly sexualized relationship ensues at the apartment with Paul treating the beautiful French woman and aspiring adult star like a piece of meat in a homosexual way, stemmed by his inadequacies in bed.  Jeanne, becoming fed up with Paul’s obsessive and polarizing behavior during their romantic tryst, lashes out in various ways, one as a gun-toting adult starlet that makes shooting scenes with her all that more dangerous to one’s health.  Paul’s health too becomes a target as Jeanne’s ultimate distaste for his floundering and obsessive ways, especially in condemning her pornographic lifestyle.

“The Last Foxtrot in Burback” is a film Charles Band (“Puppet Master”) desperately tried to erase and forget along with then newcomer editor, “Halloween’s” John Carpenter, as both filmmakers disassociated and disavowed its existed because of a couple reasons:  1) the romantic satirical spoof was not a horror/sci-fiction film both of them wanted to make at the time and 2) audiences were not appreciating it’s parodical and fleshy colored luster.  The film it removes inspirational humorous bones from is Marlon Brando’s “The Last Tango in Paris,” helmed by Bernardo Bertolucci who is dug a path of steamy sexual dramas, including “Stealing Beauty” and “The Dreamers.”  “The Last Foxtrot in Burbank” aimed to capitalize on its 1972 pushing-the-boundaries of sexualization success with writers Bill Haggard and Sam Vaughn behind the screenplay pages.  Band produced the film with filming held in Los Angeles and Marc Perilli serving as executive producer under the Federal Film Incorporation.

In his best Marlon Brando impersonation, Michael Pataki (“Halloween 4:  The Return of Michael Myers,” “The Baby”) opens his pastiche performance with hyperbole and flamboyance to emulate his version Paul to Brando’s version of Paul while still dishing the Brando-isms and deliveries.  Pataki also opens his trench coat to open-faced frontal nudity.  Yet, the one who is mostly nude is Sherry Denton in the role of Frenchwoman Jeanne.  Her role does harness the same essence of “The Last Tango in Pari’s” Maria Schneider, making Denton’s Jenne harder to define as she absorbs Paul’s verbal and emotional abuse, as she contemplates their arranged sexual rendezvous against her emotional withstand all, and how she manages a life in the adult industry as a sex object that runs parallel with being too a sex object outside the profession.  Pataki and Denton’s scenes together resemble that of a mother humoring a spoiled child.  Denton’s rather levelheaded compared to a full-blown exaggeration of Marton Brando in Michael Pataki with acute yelling spats and irrational sex requests that bleed into pleading and disappointment on a childish person of imprudence.  The gut punch of obsession, desire, and more refined melodrama is lost within Band’s spoof in a combination of bad writing and missed opportunities to sell the performances.  While this version of “The Last Foxtrot in Burbank” is not the pornographic scene splice in version, the actors still must be comfortable with each other in the story’s requirement of genitalia proximity and exposure as some scenes can be often graphic in its simulation of sex as well as be humiliating.  The cast rounds out with Merlouch Drabin, Sally Marr (“Young Lust”), Simmy Bow, and I. William Quinn (“Alligator”).

Supposedly, “The Last Foxtrot in Burbank” is a shot-for-shot spoof but Charles Band’s picture has jagged edges around a nonconformist narrative whereas “The Last Tango in Paris” abides by more linear storytelling.  The gags are not particular funny unless you’ve seen the Brando film and have a puerile sense of humor, but even then, the gags are terribly heavy fisted in a strive to really make light of sexual casualness and obsession in a conduit of Brando’s mumble and gravelly discord with the occasional outburst of hyperbolic flair.  For those who haven’t seen the Brando film, “The Last Foxtrot in Burbank” will be totally lost without a reference, especially the France set story shows it’s budget with the English-laden business and directional signs that play into the running gag of the fictious city that combines Burbank, California and Paris, France.   One could see why Charles Band and John Carpenter wanted to disassociate and distance themselves from this film but for both filmmakers, it’s a significant first film that kind of redirected their career paths when they knew comedy, such as this one, wasn’t their forte.  Charles Band even went as far as destroying all copies of the film and changing his name to a pseudonym, Carlo Bokino, to erase all involvement but he unsuccessful and a print was discovered unphased by his attempts to eradicate all known evidence.  Today, Band accepts his first film and even catalogue’s it with a No. 0 on the spine that makes it official Charlie canon. 

The first official and unofficial film of Charles Band’s career comes to Blu-ray home video from Band’s Full Moon Features in an unlikely genre release from the horror and science fiction regular.  The AVC encoded, 1080p high-definition, BD25 comes uncut and uncensored, transferred from an original negative donated from the UCLA archives under an anonymous donor.  Not much is stated here about what kind of a transfer we’re treated but the 2K scan appears adequate with a freshened image with moderate color saturation and details.  There are times the image appearance has a slightly faded realism, similar to that of William Friedkin’s “The French Connection” where details can be soft at times and ungraded.  Most scenes are better than not with palpable textures around more closeups and medium shots.  Skin tones are little more on the orange side, likely due to the chemical dye in the exposure that has an orange base which results in a natural, fringed tint.  The Blu-ray is presented in a widescreen aspect ratio 1.78:1.  Audio comes with an English LPCM 5.1 and a Stereo 2.0.  Both audio formats provide a crisp track of a dialogue, ambience, and what soundtrack is present, but the surround sound does little to enhance the film with its lack of off-camera or multi-directional scenes with mostly centered performances by the actors and not a ton of action.  The stereo 2.0 suffices.  No hissing or crackling present and the interference is kept to a suitable minimum to digest all its wacky dialogue.  The physical presence of Full Moon’s Blu-ray runs the same course as the others with a standard Amaray Blu-ray case and single-sided sleeve art with no other tangible attributes.  The nearly full-bodied orange colored sleeve mirrors “The Last Tango in Paris’” art to an extent and Full Moon uses stills with nudity on the back cover as an added perk.  The 56 minute Blu-ray, shorter because the cut of the hardcore inserts, is rated R and unlocked for multi-region playback. 

Last Rites: “The Last Foxtrot in Burbank” is a hard sell with its flat lampooning of “The Last Tango in Paris.” A handful of sleaze to be had but there’s nothing more cringy than watching histrionics for an extremely niche market.

“The Last Foxtrot in Burbank” Finally Recognized by Charles Band and Full Moon Features!

Earth’s Greatest Threat of Destruction is an EVIL Extraterrestrial Slug! “Slither” reviewed! (Visions Home Video / 2-Disc Steelbook 4K UHD and Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Slither” Steelbook Can Be Yours! Buy it Here Today!

Wheelsy, South Carolina is a small town where the biggest event of the year is the countdown to deer hunting season.  On the eve to the start of the great hunt, an aggressive, parasitic alien entrenches itself inside a human host.  It impregnates a young woman to gestate thousands of its spawn, slug-like creatures that form telepathic link to the host and undertake its bidding.  Newly appointed Sheriff Bill Pardy, alongside his deputies, the eccentric town mayor, and longtime high school crush, Starla Grant, who’s husband was first infected by the invading extraterrestrial creature, must fight through the zombified hordes of alien controlled friends and neighbors townsfolk to stop the source from spreading and taking over the world but with their force numbers dwindling and the alien growing bigger and uglier by the second, Pardy must himself avoid being a host to the meat-hungry creature that has come to plague his small town community.

James Gunn, who has taken the MCU and DCU by storm with his creative involvement directing all of the “Guardians of the Galaxy” films, and upending the David Ayer and Zack Synder-universes with his divergent take on “Suicide Squad, and “Superman,” while also producing the just released “Supergirl,” use to bask in horror with “Slither,” a creature feature that captured the appreciation of 80’s monster movies and body horror with a zombie chaser and plenty of practical, tangible effects.  Gunn wrote and directed the now 20-year-old, 2006 movie filmed in a collective of portions of British Columbia, Canada doubling as a backwater town in South Carolina.  Brightlight pictures and Strike Entertainment produce the Gold Circle films presented movie with Paul Brooks (“White Noise,” “The Fourth Kind”), Eric Newman (“Dawn of the Dead” ’04, “The Thing” ’11), and Jeff Levine (“Shadow of the Vampire,” “ATM”) serving as producers. 

An established cast of talent comprises “Slither’s” eclectic character pool of townies being invaded by an outer space slug with a bad attitude.  “Firefly’s” Nathan Fillion is in the newly appointed Sheriff Bill Pardy and Fillion adds his usual spaceship captain comedic charm and swagger in the more grounded role as he stumbles into a world of slithering extraterrestrials that infest, digest, and gestate inside organic organisms.    Fillion’s hung up projection is for Elizabeth Banks’s Starla Grant, perhaps the most beautiful, and nicest, woman in all of Wheelsy, South Carolina,  The “Uninvited” actress adds pleasantries that are a compliment to Starla Grant but also a detriment as she’s unable to express how she really feels about her much older, well-off husband Grant Grant, played by “Henry:  Portrait of a Serial Killer” Michael Rooker.  Effectively, a love triangle ensues between the three with themes of true happiness, dissolution of a marriage, saving a marriage, love, and heartache coming into play amongst a body transformative horror that exceeds our solar system.  Rooker’s the rich Wheelsy resident who’s very protective of his trophy wife and is starting to feel the pangs of his wife pulling away from his advances but still loves her.  The fourth principal character in this quartet “The Darkling’” Tania Saulnier in what is essentially her debut protagonist role as a teen touched by the shared collective of the slugs and with her insight, provides pivotal information for the survivals to work against.  Each play their respective roles to perfection inside the chaos and mayhem of a more dominant species quickly spreading, even Gregg Henry (“Bodily Harm”) and his jaggedly crude role of town mayor fields a certain level of entertaining value to the frantic fray to keep “Slither” a light-hearted Hard-R creature feature.  The remaining cast includes Brenda Gutierrez (“Stone Cold”), Haig Sutherland (“Halloween:  Resurrection”), Jenna Fisher (“The Office”), and Don Thompson (“Horns”).

“Slither” is one of those seminal movies of the creature feature that could, or more accurately did, being a small fry horror movie that made a positive profit financially and amongst the audiences.  Of course, James Gunn found influence in his favorite horror works and borrowed, to an extent, key elements to spin his own craft that works to stand on its own two feet told mostly by its fine performances of the cast.  The down-to-Earth sci-fi action and gore is palpable and designed well in its composition of practical and computer-generated effects, especially for a mid-2000’s horror.  Gunn’s knack for black comedy works to the advantage of his brand of small-town satire and eccentric characters who can range from being charismatic and likeable to crude and inimitable.  Seeing the influences from John Carpenter’s “The Thing,” George Romero’s “Night of the Living Dead,” and Irvin S. Yeaworth Jr. and Russell S. Doughten Jr.’s “The Blob,” or maybe more so closer to  Chuck Russell’s 1988 remake of “The Blob,” won’t create a rift between the film and audiences as there’s too much to like and laugh about “Slither’s” slimy infiltration and invasion concept without it feeling hackneyed and reaching to strive to be something it’s not in its hark of a classic creature feature and science fiction monster movie.

The first time transferred in 4K, Visions Home Video, a subsidiary label of Vertigo Entertainment, releases “Slither” onto a new 2-disc, steelbook 4K UHD and Blu-ray set.  Disc specs include a 4K UHD HVEC encoded with 2160p resolution on a BD100 and a Hi-Def Blu-ray that’s AVC encoded with 1080p resolution on a BD50, and both films are presented in a widescreen 1.85:1 aspect ratio.  Image quality has been greatly found immersion with an image that pops off of the screen in the 4K option with the additional pixel count.  The Blu-ray holds its own and is also a fine presentation but in UHD, we’re treated to a little extra texture and a little extra clarity from the DolbyVision that can’t be achieved on the standard Blu-ray, especially around night sequences which most of the chaos and action takes place.  This is not to say the Blu-ray is unclear or obstructed as too has plenty of clarity and detail but what it doesn’t have is that deep sensory engagement of picture.  Coloring and grading are equal on both presentations that involve a more organic approach during the date and a bluish grading during night sequences to work in against the lighting.  No issues with the original 35mm elements as it’s kept clean and persevered well last 20 years, contributing to the natural resolution enhancement of the 4K transfer while also maintaining a healty but subtle grain.  The lossless English DTS-HD 5.1 Master Audio has no suppressive issues with fidelity and is just as immersive as the picture quality with distinctive directionals of the back and side channels and a balanced output of stereo, LFE, and central action.  Dialogue has no issues with clarity and is prominent above the audio layering.  The effects, such as slithering slugs sounds and gunfire, offer a good amount of bang for the cinematic budget and the overall main creature sound production eclectically engineered to be funny, in its whipping tentacles with that distinctive whip crack, as it’s scary and gross with its guttural growls and slimy trails.  English SDH subtitles are available for selection.  There’s also an uncompressed Stereo 2.0 audio format available.  Special features include an audio commentary with writer/director James Gunn and actors Nathan Fillion and Michael Rooker, featurettes The Sick Minds and Slimy Days of Slither and Bringing Slither’s Creatures to Life, Gunn discussions The Genesis of Slither in an interview with the writer/director, an interview with director of photography Gregory Middleton We’ve Got Worms, an interview with editor John Axelrad Feed the Fear, an interview with special make-up effects designer Todd Masters Just a Bee Sting, an interview with composer Tyler Bates What’s Gotten Into You, a location and set tour with actor Nathan Fillion, deleted and extended scenes, a blooper reel, and trailers for film.  The Visions Home Video set case comes in a steelbook with metallic luster and an exclusive, and uncredited from what I can tell, illustrated artwork of survivors in the throes of tentacle mayhem.  The backside also includes additional artwork that has the semblance of a veiny, Resident Evil-like giant eyeball.  Both sides are primarily colored in reddish orange with blue slithering in on the front cover.  Inserted inside is a dual-sided mini folded poster with the same front cover artwork plus alternative compositional artwork on the opposite side on its rigid heavyweight construction paperwork.  The 4K UHD is region free while the Blu-ray is region locked B as it’s a UK release.  The 95-minute film is certified 15 for strong gory violence and language.

Last Rites: An early 2000s oldie but a goodie, “Slither” gives a glimpse of James Gunn’s caliber of losers become winners and to not hold back much of the violence, gore, and rough dispositions of uncouth, unsavory, and unsophisticated characters. This new 4K UHD and Blu-ray release from Visions Home Video re-invades “Slither” into our lives, taking over our brains, and becoming part of our physical media collective.

“Slither” Steelbook Can Be Yours! Buy it Here Today!

A Daniel Falick Double Feature of EVIL is a Must Not Miss! (Chemical Burn Entertainment / 2-Disc DVD Mondo Collector’s Set)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Don’t Skip Your Double Dose of Daniel Falick in “Exorcist Vs Vampires!”

Unorthodox exorcist and hobby writer Richard Vanuk lives a depressing and humble life full of endless booze and filthy altruism. Driven by the need for alcohol and an underline desire to help possessed strangers for a small fee, Vanuk barely maintains his own sustainability. With each challenging case of demonic inhabitance, the poor full time exorcist, and part time writer, expels demons from their misfortunate hosts into his own wretched soul, draining his self-respecting humanity out of him one demon-expulsion job at a time. The deeper Vanuk spirals downward into nihilism and the deeper he goes into severe debt, the choice to withdrawal from the toll of exorcising demons becomes no longer an option, but a fruitlessly fateful venture to just surviving in a world that’s scarce of good people.

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My second undertaking into a Daniel Falicki horror film has the “Awaken The Devil” director batting a solid hundred percent on the ever honest critique block, going a strong two-for-two with his latest film, 2016’s “Accidental Exorcist,” that’s drenched with a despair atmosphere that swallows the intentionally pathetic character who is granted only a glimmer of unattainable hope for a good life. The writer-director has a keen eye for developing horror in various comedic, dramatic, and absurdly berserk formatted segments, delicately defining details to capture memorable moments. Falicki also stars as his own character, Richard Vanuk, and Falicki charms the audience by creating a likable anti-protagonist whose cavalier about demonic possessions and begrudged by a “corporate” employer who pays very little for the precision of demon banishment; this same company performs a stigmata on him after every exhausting job, discarding his limp, unconscious body in a different snow covered park afterwards.

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Falicki drowns Vanuk in vices and addictions. Aside from the obvious alcohol and constant inebriation, Vanuk needs the pain of performing exorcisms as much as he loathes the process and the people who employs him. The character can’t reform, can’t function properly in normality, as witnessed when his successful brother offers Richard a once-in-a-lifetime position at his mundane company of pigmentation for sports equipment. When the exorcism well runs dry, Vanuk goes into full blown, borderline psychotic detox as he’s cut off from his, one and only, natural born skill and the ceasing of his per diem position sends him into frantically gulping down bottles of cold medicine to get a soothing fix. Falicki punishes the audience beloved, unconventional exorcist by having Vanuk fall to the bottom by not being unlucky or plotted against, but by simply self destruction and having God turn his back on his loyal servant when the promise, or a test, of a favorable outlook reveals itself.

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The casting couldn’t be much more perfect with a cast of talented b-movie stars such as Jason Roth (“Awaken The Devil”), Chris Kotcher, and Jeffrey Goodrich to quickly name a few. Falicki owns Richard Vanuk, embodying the character so brilliantly that I would have a hard time relinquishing Richard Vanuk from Daniel Falicki’s face. Falicki pulls out all the stops by putting every once of degradation the director can muster into the downtrodden exorcist with a performance that sells his hapless nature and spew-filled gigs. Every client Vanuk attends to is portrayed honestly and earnestly from Sherryl Despress’s role of a desperate mother turned possessed super sewer to Patrick Hendren’s blind and levitating demonic being who goes on to have a heart-to-heart with Vanuk after an exorcism recovery.

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“Accidental Exorcist” is unapologetic and shameless; a real nasty bitch to love unconditionally. The fun soars above the summit and the ingrained heart bursts beyond the restrictive seams of the reel. The film is nothing I’ve ever scene before; yet, still manages to homage legendary films that “Accidental Exorcist” built it’s bones upon. Similarities to, of course, the iconic William Friedkin’s “The Exorcist” are apparent throughout with the almost beautifully grim and isolated atmospheric exterior scenes of foreboding destiny. Falicki’s film contains special effects so convincing by leaps and bounds when compared to other modern independent horror, portraying Vanuk so well within the confines of his dank and dejected existence that it’s as if he’s sharing his grime and his loneliness with us that’ll result with a quick shower when the credits roll.

Fleeing from brilliant explosions cascading down from the sky upon the city, Catherine ducks into a seemingly innocuous vacant building to escape the bombardment.  As the ceiling crumbles down, she’s trapped inside a room amongst the rubble and metallic debris, but she’s not alone.  With her are corpses of military soldiers struck down by the falling cement and rebar.  Also with her, a metallic sarcophagus lies in the center amongst the corpses and the wreckage.  Inside, a creature emerges, one that’s ancient as it is predatory, and comes face-to-face with a disordered Catherine still shaken by the apocalyptic conditions she just escaped, but the creature shows signs of dying by coughing up blood and unable to move with ease.  However, the creature’s thirst for blood is still strong as it debates the philosophy of existence and species history in order to gain favor for the last of his kind as Catherine champions for the human right to live, breath, and love from the soul. 

Before writing, directing, and starring as the drunkard exorcists who can absorb other people’s demons, Michigan born filmmaker Dan Falicki was “The Last Vampyre on Earth” in 2013.  Also known as “Aeon:  The Last Vampyre on Earth,” the feature-length film is one Falicki did not write, penned by Warren Croyle (“From Jennifer”) and Ryan Lieske (“Awaken the Devil”), and was shot in Falicki’s home state of Michigan, Grand Rapids to me more exact.  “The Last Vampyre on Earth” aims to examine themes surrounding the right to exist, a Darwinist approach to predator and prey, truth and lies, good vs evil, otherworldly watchers, and the human soul in what’s not your traditional gothic and enchanting vampire thriller.  Instead, Falicki’s vampire tale is futuristic and conversional with impacting moments of bloody spew, declining decay, and projectile violence.  Falicki’s iron-man approach to filmmaking, taking on multiple hats in most of his productions, is cultivated through his independent production company Rotomation Pictures, partnering up with another Michigan based studio Sector 5 Films, under the sister label of Chemical Burn Entertainment.  Falicki produced the film with Warren Coyle, Anthony E. Griffin (“Devils in the Darkness”), and Frank Stabile.

Like “Accidental Exorcist,” Falicki’s if-you-want-to-do-it-right, you-do-it-yourself approach to filmmaking has certainly served him well in both features, though I’m sure a better reason for Falicki to take on principal roles is to keep costs low.  However, the roles involved, especially in “The Last Vampyre on Earth,” are extremely physical and taxing.  Playing Aeon, or The Last as credited on IMDB.com, Falicki is constantly feigning vomiting fake blood and other bodily fluid, hacking up a lung in constant coughing fits, moving in spasm and in spurts, and all doing it while under multiple grades of degrading derma layers progressing through the story.  There’s no holding Falicki back being everything ounce a vampire on death’s door while still clawing to get that little ounce of blood before all hell breaks loose from above.  Aeon’s counterpart is human, a woman named Catherine, who has a background in philosophy and when you put a woman with a philosophy degree in with a creature with long history, questionings and experiences formulated from views and fact begin to intertwine as long as Aeon has no strength in his body.  April Basile as Catherine holds her own enough against Falicki’s physical performance but does fail to compare as an equal, often reserved in performance to convince audiences Catherine is strong from the moment she steps into that building for cover.  Definitely stale with her character’s arc, Basile shifts gears without ever touching the shifter, keeping in the same gear as from which she started and that can be a bit grinding on the sympathetic system that allows us to feel for the protagonist and antagonist.  The cast rounds out with peripheral, non-dialogued bodies of death and delusion with Chris Eddy, Sara Jean Anderson and Joseph McIntosh going fully need for the cause and Ryan Lieske and Jason Roth as dead soldiers. 

“The Last Vampyre on Earth” knows its limitations as an independent film.  With a supposed investment of around one million dollars, the feature puts majority favor on the special practical effects and the maybe even it’s actors to solidify at least a visual story that’s hefty on the dialogue, literally and figuratively.  Popcorn moviegoers will struggle to see past the verbose debating and write off the film within the first 20 minutes that shows no promise of action or bloody horror but if you’re in the minority that can see past the diatribes and debates, Falicki and team are master of contrasts, gels, shadows, editing, and performance art as Falicki has an eye for engrossing visuals, much the same with “Accidental Exorcist” and “Awaken the Devil” that have been implied with a comic book like noir to both films and “The Last Vampyre on Earth” very much hints toward that succeeding aesthetic.  I do wish the Croyle and Lieske dialogue between Aeon and Catherine was a little less redundant and had a little more animated bite as the topics become circular and the characters never really moved from their stationary mark.  This results in scenes to stagnate as eyelids start to close and the issues at hand fade into nothing more than a yawn but there was always the cliffhanger of ambiguous bombardment of Earth outside and, interestingly enough, Aeon’s species is never mentioned, only flirted around as if saying vampire was too taboo in another subtle theme of metaphorical prejudice against those that are different but well equipped to survive, imprisoned to study for the best parts to be integrated into the captor’s race. 

The Daniel Falicki double feature “Accidental Exorcist” and “The Last Vampyre on Earth” arrive on a 2-disc, Chemical Burn distributed, DVD set, both are MPEG2 encoded DVD5s with 720p standard resolution.  This reissue set doesn’t up the picture quality game of the original releases that are often eclectic because of the cinematography and technical style by Falicki and cinematographer Scott Baisden (“Accidental Exorcist”) and Anthony E. Griffin (“The Last Vampyre on Earth”) who roughly have the same layout with odd angles, tint work, and key lighting with much of their differences lying in contrast saturation between overexposure and dark shadows.  Distinct details are not greatly evident, but the overall detail is middle of the road with texture smoothed over by the format and an unnatural palette workup.  “Accidental Exorcist” is presented in a 2.40:1 that offers tighter closeups and a broader stretch of his apartment during drama mid-shots while “The Last Vampyre on Earth” includes a 1.78:1 presentation.  Both features are noted to have a LPCM 5.1 surround sound mix, uncompressed and in the English language.  “Accident Exorcist” has the better of the two tracks with a clear dialogue and action sound design with some overlapping between the dialogue and the soundtrack that tries to muck up the dialogue.  We see this muck up more with “The Last Vampyre on Earth” as Falicki’s growling and gurgling, cough-riddled rants, raves, and diatribes are victims of being unintelligible at times during more low-tone dramatic soundtrack pieces in what’s mostly a low mechanical hum piece in between the crumbling building and character skirmish scenes.  Action Foley and soundbites are crisp without sound distant and isolated, integrated nicely into progressive mise-en-scenes.  There are no subtitle options for either disc.  What’s also lacking are special features that has this set pegged as a film-only release.  The re-issue DVD is a welcome mondo-inspired collector’s set with uncredited detailed illustrated artwork that meshes vampires and the possessed in a hellish collage.  The sleeve art is single-sided.  My only gripe with the set is the titles are not listed anywhere on the front or back so potential buyers will find themselves in a blind bag purchase.  The DVD Amaray holds no other tangible product inside.  The unrated features have a total runtime of 200 minutes and have region free capabilities. 

Last Rites: Don’t lose sight of deep independent films. Often times indie productions can be a challenge to sit through but Daniel Falicki’s “Accidental Exorcist” and “The Last Vampyre on Earth” are the exception, better than most, with interesting stories, complex characters, a crisis of existence, and a show of surreal aesthetic and vehemence to sweeten the pot for these two films under the obscuring larger production veil.

Don’t Skip Your Double Dose of Daniel Falick in “Exorcist Vs Vampires!”