A haughty and unpleasant stock trader taking an Uber to a late-night business meeting stumbles upon a drug deal gone bad. Monstrously bad. A werewolf intrudes into the exchange, killing three people and biting the trader on the shoulder. Stumbling into the nearby woods disoriented and with a pocketful of cocaine, his desire to relieve the pain from his shoulder as well as to escape the nightmare of being lost and confused in the woods lies within the white as snow narcotic housed on his person, but every time he takes a nasal hit, his addiction curses him into becoming like the wolf that attacked him. Happening across a film crew shooting a microbudget horror film and having no clue what’s happening to him, he partakes with the director’s cocaine habit that fuels his inner beast to come out and hunt them down one-by-one to rip them to shreds high on nose candy.
Much the same way the farcical “Sharknado” gave birth to a few analogous action-horror spoofs with similar ridiculously punned titles, such as “Clownado” or “Lavantula,” that combines a vilified thing with one of the many wraths of mother nature, 2023’s “Cocaine Bear” too began the same conceptual nonsense that spewed out “Attack of the Meth Gator,” “Cocaine Shark,” and now, we’re treated to the next level of hopped-up creatures with “Cocaine Werewolf.” Helmed by longtime microbudget horror filmmaker Mark Polonia, under the Polonia Bros. Production banner, and penned by first time screenwriter Tyger Torrez, the 2024 horror-comedy cuts the werewolf’s bane with powdery coke, spiraling the legendary lycanthrope into a stimulated frenzy of blow. “Camp Blood’s” David S. Sterling of Sterling Entertainment funds the in-and-around Wellsboro, Pennsylvania-shot project with fellow producers Ford Austin (“Dahmer vs. Gacy) and Cleopatra Entertainment’s Tim Yasuni and Brian Perera (“Frost,” “The Black Mass”) serving as producer and executive producer.
Returning to the schlocky world of penny-made horror is Brice Kennedy who has reconnected with Mark Polonia since “Razorteeth” and “Splatter Beach” from 2007. Shortly after Mark’s brother, John Polonia, unexpectantly died in 2008, Kennedy returns to the in front of the camera scene in 2024 after a lengthy hiatus of 17 years. Kenney takes the lead role of the cocaine addicted stock trader bitten to become a rampaging werewolf with a proclivity for nose blow. The West Virginia native never lost a step in those 24 years of off camera with a smooth slip into an obnoxiously crass stock trader jostled to wander the woods and to be anxious to get to the next snort of his pocket narcotic. Kenney plays on a fraction of the rubber masked werewolf, with Mark Polonia and others donning the snarling molded and faux hair stitched latex, but we don’t know or can’t tell which portion of the man-wolf Kenney portrays. Brice carries much of the story until he meets the film crew halfway, through the muck of drug deals gone sour between actors James Carolus and Titus Himmelberger of “Sharkula,” a pair of unlucky drivers behind the wheel of their cars in Michael Korotitsch (“Motorboat”) and Marie DeLorenzo (“Sister Krampus”), and two hunters, from James Kelly (“Sharkula”) and Jeff Kirkendall (“Motorboat”) suspicious of the recent mauling deaths of their neighbors and find themselves way over their head with the animal that’s causing all the carnage. Principal position shifts from being solo to a shared introduction of the film crew, exploring satire of making a low-budget, independent horror movie about a hackneyed clown slasher (Noyes J. Lawton, “Virus Shark”) chasing two girls through the forest. Those two females leads, Jamie Morgan (“Motorboat”) and Greta Volkova (“The Last Frankenstein”), get put through the trope wringer with lesbianism tendencies and gratuitous shower nudity, not to also neglect mentioning being damsels in distress from a killer clown, and become centrically the focus toward heroine, aka the final girl, as the cocaine werewolf infiltrates their small band of filmmakers. Hot on the savage beast’s trail is Ken Van Sant (“Virus Shark”) as the local sheriff baffled by what’s tearing people apart. If you couldn’t tell already, the cast is comprised of Mark Polonia regulars, those who have worked together on numerous projects, and have a kind of inner circle rapport with each other from the various Mark Polonia Bros. productions and this also includes Cody Losinger, Tim Hatch, Yolie Canales, and Alyssa Paige that rounds out “Cocaine Werewolf.”
I had promised myself after reviewing “Motorboat” dismally, I would stay away from another Mark Polonia production but because of my personal philosophy and prejudge avoidance policy of not researching and previewing films before watching them for critical analysis, I burned myself into Mark Polonia’s world once again. I was duped in part of Cleopatra Entertainment being partnering producers and the distributing label as they’re becoming well known for release moderately subpar horror product and have their own entourage line of actors, actresses, and filmmakers, such as Devanny Pinn and Brandon Slagle, with notable B-movie guest stars like William Shatner (“Star Trek”), Vernon Wells (“Commando”), and Udo Kier (“Blood for Dracula”) in some of their releases. Additionally, I absolutely enjoyed “Gun Woman’s” Kurando Mitsutake from print-to-film manga adapted “Lion Girl” that recently saw the physical media light. Unfortunately, I did not get the same pleasure out of “Cocaine Werewolf” under Polonia’s formulaic filmmaking and while Polonia does apply some effects techniques, mostly off-kilter visual f/x such as the added cold breath, the blood spurts, or the swirling faces that indicate human-to-wolf transition, but there isn’t a consistency to them and doesn’t blend into “Cocaine Werewolf’s” whole tone in what is more of a convenience choice rather than a unifying or connective element. “Dead Ant” and “Psycho Goreman’s” Josh Wasylink’s werewolf mask design would be any kid’s Halloween wet dream in what has pretty remarkable detail contrasted against the microbudget. Granted, there are not pneumatic or hydraulic components to the constant mask but a little blood here, a little blood there, and some glowing red eyes and you got yourself a damn good-looking, classic-feeling werewolf.
From Cleopatra Entertainment, the film division of music label Cleopatra Records, comes “Cocaine Werewolf” onto an AVC encoded, 1080p high-definition, BD25 Blu-ray. Frequently lacquered in a CIG haze, the ungraded image manages to retain a solid definition of sharp detail presented in an anamorphic 1.85:1 aspect rato. This can be good and bad for the image quality that while really creates delineation around textural clothing and the ample foliage it can also really expose to a fault and emphasize the rubbery inanimate mask along with the large cut out eyes, blackened with dark makeup to try and make the mask and the actor seamless. Depth is fine and medlied across multiple locations and the color range has natural, varied pop, diffused into the smokey trope atmospherics and angled up and key lit cinematography by Paul Alan Steele. Blacks are slight washed but not crushed or with significant banding. Like most Cleopatra Entertainment releases, the soundtrack overwhelms enough of the other audio layers in this English language LCPM Stereo 2.0 that it slightly takes of the edge of the impact, but the lossless quality awakens the snarling, growling werewolf noises and the dialogue is amply consistent throughout that even the Gothic rockabilly score from The 69 Cats doesn’t fully immerse viewers solely in the band’s dark melodiousness. Bonus content includes a Mark Polonia commentary, which the director is usually pretty good about supplying and supporting for most of his work, an image slideshow, and the trailer plus trailers for other Cleopatra Entertainment releases. Physical attributes of the conventional encased Blu-ray include an uncredited but insane Red Riding Hood inspired illustration on the front cover. There is no reverse side of the cover nor are there any inserts included in his release and the disc is pressed with the same front cover image. The unrated Blu-ray comes region free and has a runtime of 80 minutes.
Last Rites: “Cocaine Werewolf” is better than most of the contemporary Mark Polonia body of work, but the heart-pounded effects of his laced comedy-horror is not addictive enough to produce the euphoria to warrant another line hit, leaving this derived werewolf indie in withdrawals.
Malicia Tombs, an acclaimed horror actress known for B-movies and bad attitude, bursts into a wreckage of flames when her car sudden explodes after storming off the set of her new movie, “Scream Queen,” in which she wrote and starred as the titular character. Part of the cast and crew were devastated by the accident that had cut their own career short while others were relieved the egotistical Tombs had perished despite publicly feigning grief over the loss of a genre fan-favorite. Months later, the small cast and crew receive a mysterious invitation to gather at a creepy mansion butlered by Runyon. When their host is unveiled as to be a very much alive Malicia Tombs, she offers them a lucrative sum of money to finish the film they’ve started but with a new script. As the guests read through the new treatment, the cast and crew realize their present moments read just as their being played out in the script, even their deaths.
If there was ever a single face deserving the representative distinction within an overpopulated categorized scream queen genus, Linnea Quigley would be that green-eyed, blonde-topped, beautiful face with an infectious smile. Quigley worked with an array of filmmakers, ranging from some of the most renowned cult films of all times amidst reams of horror movies for nearly half a century (yes, we’re feeling old now) to the most independent of the independents films never having really receive the proper exhibition format or audience attention. To what would be a delight to Quigley’s fanbase, one of those obscure features is Brad Sykes’ “Scream Queen,” a late 90’s filmed, 2002-released, SOV, U.S. slasher written-and-directed by the “Camp Blood” and low-budget filmmaker with Quigley in mind to play the scream queen character Malicia Tombs, now available, officially, on Blu-ray. “Scream Queen” is the first major project for Brad Sykes in a collaborating effort in not only as a director but also as a co-producer alongside David Sterling of Sterling Entertainment.
“The Return of the Living Dead” and “Night of the Demons” Quigley puts on another memorable and wickedly fiendish performance as the haughty genre scream queen Malicia Tombs who superiority has gone to her head as she embraces her designation to an exact mania, displayed early on when her character’s character attempts to choke-kill another actress despite the numbered scene not being a death scene and Malicia harps on wanting to continue with the resembling act of murder. As much as Malicia Tombs embraces the killer instinct inside of her, Linnea Quigley very much embraces Malicia Tombs without having to take her top off and despite having less screen time than her costars. While Quigley fades in and out of the linear story, the narrative progresses with livelihood hardships of the now out-of-work cast and crew who relied heavily on that small film to boost their acting and filmmaking careers. That crop of characters falls short tipping into their expectations, aspirations, and even their relations to be just slasher fodder for the mysterious maniac roaming the house. Jenni (Emilie Jo Tisdale,” Escape from Hell”) and Devon (Nova Sheppard) are inferred romantic roommates who sell clothes on the side of the street to make ends meet post failed film but don’t have surmountable direction to either be a full-fledged couple to sympathize or seem terribly concerned about opening their own clothing shop other than what would be a bad decision to reside at the mansion overnight. Again, no sympathy there either. The special effects goof Squib (Bryan Cooper churns chuckles relentlessly by relating more to his crafted effects dummy more than people, marking him conclusively comedy relief as well as fated for death that, like in life, no one takes him seriously when he shows up gruesomely mutilated. The other principal actress across from Tombs is Christine (Nicole West, “Dimension in Fear”), a buxom blonde tired of secretary work succumbing to lead man flirtations in a dark and scary house where every shadowy corner is lodged with threat. The pair fall into that horror character cliché of have sex, will die, quickly downgrading their pre-professional relationship into nothing more than dark house desire. Director Eric Orloff (Jarrod Robbins, “Evil Sister 2”), a presumed spin on the Awful Dr. Orloff and perhaps hints at his motives, seems to be stuck in angsty avoidance and melancholy stemmed by what could have been with Scream Queen but that also peters to a gross negligence end of an arc waste. Rounding out the cast are a couple of special bit parts played by prolific Full Moon Entertainment and overall horror movie screenwriter C. Courtney Joyner (“Puppet Masters III,” “From A Whisper to Scream”) as a televised homicide detective and Kurt Levee in a quasi-return of his character Runnion from “Evil Sister” but alternatively spelled “Runyon” in “Scream Queen.”
Though obviously and definitely not the first to do this, “Scream Queen” humors metacinema measures built upon horror tropes and spherical plot points that redirects the story back upon itself for a killer effect. The feature has no issues making and poking fun at itself within a campy context albeit the usually grave apprehensions of a true scary slasher movie that’s less campy of which a scream queen is born – think Jamie Lee Curtis in “Halloween” or Neve Campbell in “Scream.” Bryan Cooper not only portrayed the foolish effects guy persona but also actually did a lot of the gore gags for the film, achieving very detailed inlaid gore prosthetics for a smalltime picture with an axe embedded into a chest and a mangled face to name a few. The story itself feels a bit rough and ready as it slips into supernatural obscurity and, as aforementioned, character setups flounder to a stagnation, killing instantly the miniscule arcs that were structured prior to their mansion gathering in what becomes a slapdash of serial offing that wraps up the story post-haste without much cat-and-mouse tension. With that said, “Scream Queen’s” unpolished plot had once mirrored its fallowed physical release until recently but now witnessing its birth out of twilight has been multitudinous worth the wait.
Another of Linnea Quigley’s lost films has been resurrected from the format graveyard by Visual Vengeance with a new Blu-ray release of “Scream Queen.” The Wild Eye Releasing sublabel release comes with an AVC encoded, high definition interlaced scanned and director approved 1080i transfer from the 480p tape elements on BD50 capacity and comes also with the qualitative joys of a standard definition shot on video experience. SOV tape upconversion can never completely eradicate the imperfections associated with tape and we also know this going in courtesy of Visual Vengeance’s standard practice of a fair warning before the film, but the overall “Scream Queen” presentation passes as clear content despite some minor tracking blips, 1.33:1 aspect ratio, original lower resolution, and scan line visibility, which is smoothed out nicely by the 1080i conversion. Exteriors and brightly lit scenes take on more shape compared to darker and low-lit areas that become like a void in standard DEF, which also hits the natural grading into a washed-out drab. The English Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo labors to maintain some form of auricular strength but often nearly goes dark to where certain Linnea Quigley monologues periodically go silent for a few seconds, so the dialogue isn’t entirely clear but when it is, it’s relatively clean. There’s no hardiness pop in the audio track, staying suppressed throughout, and having little-to-no range or depth to the compile contexture. Some electro-interference throughout but nothing to be bothered by considering the grade of the SOV. Optional English subtitles are available. Special features include a commentary with writer-director Brad Sykes, a new behind-the-scenes documentary Once Upon A Time Horrowood that’s mostly Brad Sykes going through the stages of making “Scream Queen” and his recollections of his first big time produced film, a new interview with star Linnea Quigley, a new interview with one of the three various editors Mark Polonia (director of “Splatter Farm”), an original full-length feature producer’s cut of “Scream Queen,” a behind-the-scenes image gallery, Linnea Quigley image gallery, snippets from the original script, original trailer, and other Visual Vengeance distribution trailers. Along with the hearty software special features, hardware physical features include a six-page trifold with behind-the-scenes color photos notes by Weng’s Chop Magazine’s Tony Strauss and beautifully illustrated with dripping blood, a chainsaw, and Linnea Quigley on the front cover, a folded up mini color poster of a scantily-leathered Linnea holding one of the film’s murderous weapons, retro stickers, and your very own Four Star Video plastic rental card. All of this great stuff is stuffed inside a clear Blu-ray Amary case with a pressed disc art of a bloody illustrated Linnea sawing some unknown guy’s face off. The same illustrated graces the front cover in an expanded form and under a different hue. If you don’t like it, which I would be hard-pressed if you don’t, the reverse side contains one of the original cover arts with, again, a scantily-leathered Linnea holding that murderous weapon. The entire package is sheathed inside a rigid O-slipcover with an extended view of that chainsaw scoring with a bloody spray the eyeball from some guy’s face. The 13th Visual Vengeance release comes region free, unrated, and has a runtime of 78-minutes. Lost vintage now found and digitally revived to give us even more Linnea Quigley than we knew we needed with a meta-film shows initiative and fit special effects but swerves off trajectory into a more-of-the-same pathway.
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