
Chris Cannon and Mark Austin are back to save the world from a devious organization once again as the two bureau agents are assigned to protect the last world-renowned scientist that developed an International World Arms Removal (I/War) satellite project that could detect terrorists’ weaponry no matter how concealed, but when the other three scientists from around the globe are brutally assassinated, the odds are stacked up against them and the bad guys are always one step ahead of them. Given four computer chips to guard at all times, I/War assigns their best agents to the task of securing hope for the project, called The Dallas Connection, for three days until a specifically timed launch to coordinator with a passing asteroid field that’ll power the satellite for years decades to come, but the well-armed and well-organized crime uses all assets and their power of seduction to gain control over the satellite at all cost.

The L.E.T.H.A.L. ladies series continues with the second buddy-cop picture, “The Dallas Connection,” helmed by Christian Drew Sidaris, son of the erotically charged-action producer and filmmaker, Andy Sidaris that follows up on the first Drew Sidaris prospecting fracas, Enemy Gold. “The Dallas Connection” is the tenth installment of the series, known also as the Triple B series (that’s Boobs, Bombs, and Bullets) that has little-to-nothing linking the entire series cache together aside from being exclusively explosive wrapped with a sensual rouleau of Playmate and Penthouse centerfolds, tightly coiled around the tight and firm half-naked bodies of it’s leading stars. The Sidaris team, under the Malibu Bay Films and Skyhawks Films banners, one again economically ignite a successful B movie that promises 90’s attired, flamboyant action on set at a few familiarly recycled locations in Shreveport, Louisiana and Los Angeles, California, redressed for a not-so different genre or distant premise.

As aforementioned, centerfolds are a staple in any Sidaris, father or son, girls and guns feature and “The Dallas Connection” is no exception, starting off with their main squeeze, good friend, and cult movie icon, Julie Strain, as one of the chief co-antagonist under the nom de guerre, “Black Widow.” Strain is tall, sexy, and a wild villain capable of restraining the violent kick of an AK-47 in thigh high boots and a low-cut open jacket that embodies gun nuts most delectable dreams. The once Penthouse Pet of the Year stays quite reserved compared to her tantamount villainous role in “Enemy Gold” by going topless only in a couple of instances in a death grip roll that involves a lap dance before her prey’s demise, a specified attribute to the beautiful and deadly small spider she spins her call sign from. Black Widow is joined the just as deadly Cobra, fellow Penthouse Pet of the Month February 1993, Julie K. Smith, and Scorpion, the equally as Julie Strain tall, Playboy Playmate of the Month December 1991, Wendy Hamilton. Smith and Hamilton offer up polar features that doesn’t make “The Dallas Connection” a one-type of woman show, but both are voluptuous in their own rite, adding sizzling hot tub sex scenes and long-legged strip shows to accentuate “The Dallas Connection” amongst the B movie fray. “Phantasm II’s” Samantha Phillips becomes the whip cream on top, rounding out Sidaris’ centerfold assembly, as another the third Penthouse Pet of the Month, June 1993. There’s also Bruce Penhall and Mark Barriere, but who cares about these shirtless studs who drag race old Plymouths and jet ski when you four gorgeous women to ogle over? Penhall and Barriere mark their return as Chris Cannon and Mark Austin from Enemy Gold in a buddy-cop adventure loaded with a Dirty Harry Magnum .357 and a M1 Grenade launcher assault rifle. Kaboom! Rounding out the cast is Gerald Okamura (“Big Trouble in Little China”), Roland Marcus, Cassidy Phillips, Ron Browning, Tom Abbott, and Rodrigo Obregon as a satellite scientist.

After finishing “The Dallas Connection,” I wanted to say that I’ve seen this movie before and not because of some misplaced form of déjà vu, but, rather, that I, in fact, HAVE seen this movie before in the precursor film of the L.E.T.H.A.L. ladies series, “Enemy Gold.” The story’s been tweaked slightly to a story with the same framework. Hell, like also mentioned, when you throw in some of the same locations as in “Enemy Gold,” Sidaris’s home with the hot tub and the cabin the woods, and redress the same actors, Julie Strain, Bruce Penhall, Mark Barrier, Rodrigo Obregon, Tom Abbott, and Ron Browning all in the essentially the same roles, “The Dallas Connection” just feels like an extension or a mirror image of that former film, making the story a weary one with nothing really new to spectacle except for three pairs of new, large-and-in charge, breasts in Smith, Hamilton, and Phillips. One difference noticed is that the bureau agents this time around are a lot dafter with skulls thick as a brick and unable to use common logic in the most practical situations. There have been many a time when producer Andy Sidaris commented his films to James Bond, but at least Bond had the smarts to always be on guard; Chris Cannon and Mark Austin do indeed think with their other head that do, in benefit, leave the door open for some saucy hot tub sex that’s perhaps the best simulation from Sidaris reel I’ve seen to date.

Available for the first time on Blu-ray, “The Dallas Connection” will get your rocket launchers off with ton of gunplay and is loaded with beautiful women. The region A, 1080p high definition presentation from a 4K scan restoration has an aspect ratio of 1.78:1 widescreen. The image’s simply gorgeous from the 35mm negative baring a few minor faint scratches that linger only for seconds at a time. There’s quite a bit of noise during the night scenes that almost make the scene look daylit, but skin tones, especially gleaming with water, are remarkably velvety and the textures on clothes and skin looks great for a low budget action. The English language DTS-HD Master Audio dual channel mix medleys appropriately, dialogue is clear and upfront and ambience has proper depth and range. Explosions are powerful coming through the dual channels with a hefty LFE and gunfire can rip just as good as Dutch blasting away at a trophy hunting alien in Predator. Even the sexy lounge soundtrack from Ron Di Iulio is on point despite being a rehash of “Enemy Gold” once again. Hardly any blemishes or distortions coming from the audio track. English SDH subtitles are optional. The bonus features mirror that of “Enemy Gold” as well with Andy Sidaris and Julie Strain doing this awkwardly coy and sugar daddy bit showing off “The Dallas Connection” merchandise and international posters that lead into Andy’s film school where him and his wife, Arlene, go onto commentary on how to shoot scenes and edit them together, using an action and a sexy scene from “Return to Savage Beach” as reference. In the same behind the scenes, there’s an equally bizarre Joe Bob Briggs interview where the legendary MonsterVision and The Last Drive-in Host seems uncomfortable with Andy and star Julie K. Smith about how he persuades to get these beautiful centerfolds to be in his films. Other bonus material includes a commentary on the film itself and theatrical trailer. “The Dallas Connection” is a Texas-size IED with a busty ornate façade, but acts more like a duplication of something we’ve already experienced, making the sophomore feature from Christian Drew Sidaris just a more of the same.
Tag Archives: Phantasm II
Evil Nostalgia! Phantasm II on HBO and big screen viewing of John Carpenter’s They Live @ the Colonial Theatre!
Welcome back! And, boy, it sure does feel good to be back in the wide world of evil! With a new job, new wife, and practically a whole new life, my once idle hands were struggling to juggle my new found life. Where to begin? What to say? How can I build up that base I had over a year ago! Has the evil come back to me to guide my hands again? Has my “dark passenger” returned? (Dexter reference as I’ve caught up on all 7 seasons in the last month). We’ll see what happens with Its Bloggin’ Evil. No one knows where this road may lead the amateur horror fan site. I might not be as swanky by going to all the conventions and movie screenings like Freddy in Space.com or be an ultra-reviewer like Cinesploitation.com (whom I use to write for). Both of those sites have shunned me from doing what I need to do, what I care to do, what I love to do.
Lets start this off on the right severed foot with Phantasm II. You may be wondering why Phantasm II. Well, it just happened to be on HBO Zone last night and I sat, with my now wife, and we watched. I subjected her to Angus Scrimm’s The Tall Man and the othet dimension dwelling evil dwarfs. You would think one like myself owns all the Phantasm films. Don’t get me wrong, I do! I proudly bought the limited edition UK Sphere box set and have yet to open the sucker. I joyfully viewed after years of not opening the box set and not viewing the film anywhere else. My eyes were glued to the 32” TV and I probably had the wide and bright eyes of a fat kid in a candy store. What a way to start off (or to rekindle) It’s Bloggin’ Evil!
Don Coscarelli’s sequel just brings a grin from ear to ear even if the writing is a bit over-the-top, but hey, that’s the masterful dialogue of the 80’s and who can argue with that? Some might also dislike Phantasm II for the scab step-in roll filler James LeGros to fill the shoes of A. Michael Baldwin’s original character Mike. LeGros became the one who “shan’t be named” because Baldwin continued the character in the third and fourth sequel. However, Phantasm II brings back the deadly spheres, the pint sized evil dwarfs, and always sinister, never a minister, The Tall Man with special effects that are the epitome of 80’s glory. As you can see from the image on the left, this is what to expect – in case you’re sheltered self never seen Phantasm II. You can thank Robert Kurtzman and Greg Nicotero who had a helping hand in creating realistically stunning exaggerations of body horror. Throw Mark Shostrom into the mix and you have a party of special effects gold.
Next stop – John Carpenter’s They Live! Obey The very same night as Phantasm II, I sat on our couch thinking what to do with my wife. We had no plans for a Friday night (sans boring married couple). She had no idea what to do. That is when it donned on me! I remembered that the Colonial Theatre in Phoenixville, PA was having a 25th Anniversary screening of They Live. After fairly little convincing, I managed to get my wife to come along to the 10:10pm showing. I think she was glad she attended because the turn out better than what she expected. Conform When we screened Night Breed months ago, the turn out was not as grand and we didn’t receive any free swag! For They Live, fans of the cult film flooded the theatre and the freebies was a pair of black shades, two pieces of a bubblegum, and a “Chew Bubblegum Kick Ass” sticker with Roddy Piper!
As you can see, we had lots of fun. The 35mm screening had all the imperfection glory, but that won’t deter us fans away from catching all of Roddy Piper’s catch phrases. You never know how outdated a film can be after 2.5 decades, but the dialogue and the actions of 80’s filmmaking leads my heart home. We will attend more screenings at Colonial especially Hammer Film’s The Brides of Dracula and Grisly in the coming months. I can’t wait!


