The EVIL of the Land Before Time Is Awake and Hungry! “Saurians” reviewed! (Visual Vengeance / Blu-ray)

“Saurians” on Visual Vengeance Collector’s Edition!

A controlled construction site blast along the area of what is known as Fossil Valley, an idyllic area where bone relics of dinosaurs can be unearthed, inadvertently opens up a rock gas-oxygenated pocket that kept preserved two slumbering prehistoric dinosaurs – one herbivore and one carnivore.  Caught in the middle is a group of paleontology students on assignment to find, study, and record their discoveries.  Also caught in the middle are the unlucky ones the carnivore has for a long-awaited meal.  Informing their professor of their extraordinary findings of living, breathing, and full of teeth fossils, the students believe help is on the way but what confronts them is a black-market hunter hired by the professors for monetary gain for their primeval trophy heads.  The students are under the forced direction of a hunter to lead the way but the hunter’s arrogance leaves him ill-equipped to tackle larger-than-life creatures from another time. 

One of the earlier films of “Church of the Damned” and “Splatter Farm” indie-filmmaker Mark Polonia from 1994, “Saurians” is a stop-motion, puppet-staging, super 8-filmed creature feature with Jurassic-sized aspirations to be the “Jurassic Park” of the micro market.  Polonia not only directed but the Pennsylvania-born auteur also wrote the script, produced the film, edited the reel, and had a starring role that secured him his first dino-disaster picture and be a foundation to his prolific, latter career that doesn’t seem to be slowing down one bit.  “Saurians” is filmed local to Polonia in Wellsboro, Pennsylvania, an area he’s filmed many of his budget projects, and doubles as underlying theme on the naturalistic dangers and disasters of fracking and blasting as the hills of Wellsboro does contain man-made modernized vision of unearthing for profit margins, which greed is also ingrained into the narrative as well.  Along with Mark Polonia producing the film was his late, twin brother John and the siblings’ Polonia Brothers Entertainment” company was the studio on the film.

As noted, Mark Polonia stars as the nerdy fossilist student Alan who scours the low water level riverbeds for ancient animal relics in Fossil Valley with a pair of colleagues on assignment.  With him are the foretold love interest Lynette, played by Maria Davis (“How to Slay a Vampire”) who would become Polonia’s wife, and the more blitheful to the assignment Charlie, played by Matthew Satterly (“Church of the Damned”).  With a bowl cut, large, framed glasses, and a caterpillar mustache overtop his slender physique, Polonia’s appearance, along with his Lewis Skolnick button down collar shirt and church slacks, screams studious student of archeology compared to the others in more relaxed attire and trendy physical fads.   Their acts contrive adequate concern but still often feel stiff with hesitation, especially with large man-eating dinosaurs attending the all-you-can-eat human buffet.  The personality award goes to the fourth and final principal actor Todd Carpenter (“Bad Magic”) as the hired hunter to track down and kill the dinosaurs like African game, dressed ironically in a bright orange reflector and even more ironically wielding a gunslinger revolver to hunt carnivores, elephant-sized reptilians.  With a theatrical and condescending melodrama in his voice, Carpenter’s caricature villain bites off more than he can chew as his arrogance will get the best of him, or rather the Allosaur type dino.  When the two groups meet, there is no denying their distinction of roles and play into the tension of a prehistoric terror.  The remaining cast round out with victims of the primeval times come to clash with modern times; these roles are played by supporting cast members Dustin Davis, Chris Jones, Josh Nagy, Courtney Marie, Paula Nobles and Todd Rimatti.

Back in the early to mid-1990s, Dinosaurs landing in modern times, wreaking havoc amongst mankind, was all the rage with the height of success of “Jurassic Park,” many thanks toward director Steven Spielberg.  Even dinosploitaiton flicks that released before “Jurassic Park,” such as “Carnosaur” a few months earlier, saw post-release success because on how influential the Spielberg blockbuster was that gave extinct predators a new lease on life.  “Saurians” is no Hollywood mega blockbuster and is extremely lo-fi in all areas from special effects to A/V but there’s no difference of ambition between Spielberg and Mark Polonia who set out to make an adventurous thriller of prehistoric proportions to the extent and limits of their given budget.  The “Saurians” tale is about as routine of a dormant-now-awake monster movie as it comes without involving scientific and technical mumbo-jumbo to exposition a reason for the revival of dinosaurs but still follows core plot devices and themes that parallel bigger productions, such as the unearthing of said creatures, whether be a lifeform preserving pocket of rock gas or a fossilized mosquito in tree sap, and the subject of sin where greed comes into play with the hunter and the turncoat professor try to bank off dino hide by selling it on the black market. 

Visual Vengeance’s 2K scan of the original tape elements keeps the standard definition and early triacetate celluloid Imperfections.  Now, you may say to yourself, “Tape elements?  Didn’t you say Mark Polonia used Super 8 film?”  Yes, I certainly did, but since the film was edited on and for tape, Visual Vengeance scan is from the tape material, which was also approved by director Mark Polonia.  Presented in 1.33:1 full screen aspect ratio, there’s miniscule improvement onto Blu-ray to keep the a 8mm reproduction for the final product with a yellowish tint form emulsion fluid, plenty of cell light leaks, and a grainy textures that retains its naturality.  If you’re looking for quality excellence, don’t expect it here from this release or any Visual Vengeance release that tries to keep the original aesthetic and rightfully so or else loses it’s dated charm.  The English Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo is scanned from the second dubbing that was produced years after the release.  There’s obvious separation between visual and audio, but the overall clarity is clean and discernible with the dinosaur roars have a stock quality and recycle about it but retains a consistent volume range and condition. Depth doesn’t work with the ADR that keeps all the action near the forefront.    English subtitles are optionally available on the papier-mâché-like motion menu.  A bountiful of special features include a new commentary by Mark Polonia that’s moderated by the Visual Vengeance team, outtakes of the “Saurians” stop-motion effects, the super 8 raw footage, an Rae Don, never-before-seen alternate version of the film, Mark Polonia’s commentary track for the Rae Don version, a bonus Polonia film “The Dinosaur Chronicles” from 2004, a commentary track for the bonus film, the making-of “The Dinosaur Chronicles,” the “Saurians” Visual Vengeance trailer, the Visual Vengeance trailer for “The Dinosaur Chronicles,” the “Saurians 2” trailer, and other Visual Vengeance trailers for their at-home releases.  The Blu-ray release starts with an Andy Warhol inspired cover art with menacing dinosaur heads swallowing tailored-garbed human legs with an pop art orange background and blood splatter.  Inside the clear Amaray, the primary Blu-ray art has more Godzilla destructiveness with a cityscape under a fiery bedlam and two roaring T-Rexes wreaking havoc with the reverse side containing the original VHS art.  Tangible items inside are a mini-folded poster that’s Jurassic Park inspired, a single-page advert for “The Dinosaur Chronicles,” a dime bag with “Saurian’s Attack” mini-slip with 1 piece of the actual Super 8 mm cell, and the usual retro sticker sheet that comes with Visual Vengeance releases.  The 83-minute film is unrated and encoded to play for all regions. 

Last Rites: “Saurians” is no “Jurassic Park” but has the feral heart of the creature feature subgenre brought back from extinction for a new transfer and package of carnivorism.

“Saurians” on Visual Vengeance Collector’s Edition!

This 600 Horsepower Outboard Propeller Runs on EVIL! “Motorboat” reviewed! (SRS Cinema / DVD)

As Chief Brody Always Said, This Isn’t a Boat Accident!  “Motorboat” on DVD today!

Messiah Ward and his cult of followers once plagued the surrounding Lake Jude for years, conjuring black magic and death in order to appease their netherworld lord.  Ward’s evil is only matched by the goodness of a man of the cloth, but the pious risktaker is no ordinary priest but Messiah Ward’s very own brother, Father Thomas.  Taking matters into his own had to save the souls of his community, Father Thomas mercilessly guns down Messiah Ward and his acolytes, ending his reign of terror…or so he thought.  Two years later, a black and powerful phantom speedboat appears on the lake, killing those who dare enter its waters.  With the help of the local lake patrol officer Barney Rayl investigating the homicides, Father Thomas must serve as the wrath of God once again to stop his brotherly possessed motorboat from hacking up any more innocent swimmers and fishers with its deadly outboard propeller. 

I’ve seen my share of possessed combustible engine films with cars, trucks, and even a killer bulldozer.  Hell, I’ve even seen a rubber tire on a rampage.  Yet, I’ve never seen a killer boat movie until today and the Polonias are responsible for the slaughter on the seas with their latest indie schlocker, “Motorboat.”  The “Splatter Farm” and “Hellspawn” director Mark Polonia and his son Anthony team up for their fifth rudimentary, lowbrow lunge at hyper-micro budget horror, crowdfunded on Indiegogo for around $5,000, and shot in the fall of October ‘22 in and around Tioga county, such as one location being Hills Creek State Park Lake to be one of three locations in creating a larger lake setting.  “Motorboat” is created by Polonia Brothers Entertainment, executively produced by SRS Cinema’s Ron Bonk, through Indiegogo, and John Dagostino with Mark Polonia producing, and Elliott Monroe (“Evil Bong 666”) and Previn Wong (“Yule Log”) set as associate producers. 

Like many of the Polonia Brothers Entertainment, a cast of regulars return to indulge in the tightknit production family and to give their all in providing their best performances to make micro budgets like “Motorboat” come to filmic fruition.  In the roles of Priest and Harbor Patrolman are Tim Hatch (“Shark Encounters of the Third Kind”) and Jeff Kirkendall (“Sharkula”) who have once again found themselves working side-by-side on a Mark Polonia production.  Cemented more into exposition than action, Hatch and Kirkendall essentially get the job done with their extensive rapport and long history working together but as developing their characters, a Priest and a Harbor Patrolman could have well been a Lake Fisherman and  Pizza Delivery Man as the professions are laid waste to the script’s lesser defining ideals that are more clearly evident, such as a demon possessed motor boat offing people on and off shore.  Also, Hatch and Kirkendall, as well as much of “Motorboat’s” cast, aren’t very expressive, use little gesturing, and corner themselves with monotone deliveries, taking what should be shocking scenes or jump into actions with little reactionary energy and intensity.  That fairly sums up “Motoboat’s” cast as Messiah Ward is more like the 1958 Plymouth Fury in “Christine,” a motorized machine on a killing spree, with Michael Korotitsch briefly playing the character under a black or rubber mask during his corporeal scenes.  The remaining cast are essentially the racked up body count boat fodder with Polonia regulars Jamie Morgan (“House Shark”), Ken Van Sant (“Sharkenstein”), Dave Fife (“Doll Shark”), and Noyes J. Lawton (“Virus Shark”).

As you can obviously see by the cast’s previous film credits, which all involved Mark Polonia, the director has a healthy fascination with the predators of the ocean, augmenting and exploiting sharksploitation from a limitless thought-bubble of narrative concepts.  Surprisingly, “Motorboat” does not contain one single dorsal fin or rows of razor-sharp visual effects teeth.  Polonia may have deviated from sharksploitation but never got out of the water by keeping the tide still infused with blood.  Post-production blood effects, rain, and layered energy spirals are not the most skillfully composited integration but what Polonia always strives for is to make an entertaining film, to keep the viewers engaged, and could only hope that the his microbudget efforted effects, such as using a 1/16 scale RC boat as the Messiah Ward’s ship of slaughter, afforded him enough production value to eke by but how Mark Polonia, and I’m sure son Anthony also, very masterfully retains engagement for his microbudget movies is to not linger on a shot that can make the scene stale or monotonous.  Granted, you may roll your eyes on lower shelf quality, but you’ll still find yourself connected to the screen as cuts are made for different camera angles, such as over-the-shoulder, behind-the-back, master shots, closeups, mediums, there’s never a single take for a long period of time to avoid idle eyes and unstimulated neuron firings.  The story itself cruises along as combination of films like “The Devil’s Rain” and “The Car” leaving a fair amount of demonic or possessed destruction in its wake but can be trying at times piecing together the whole story behind Messiah Ward’s purpose and transition into either a speedboat or a demon driving a speedboat, an unclear specific of the antagonistic character, and this undercuts Father Thomas and Harbor Patrol Rayl endgame goal because we’re not exactly sure who or what they’re up against.  An innuendo term like “Motorboat” suggests lighter, more in a foreplay of intentions, but SRS Cinema and Mark Polonia are abreast in another way to turn the tide toward something far more terrifying on the waters!

The one thing you can always count on Ron Bonk and SRS Cinema to pull off are immaculately enticing cover arts to catch one’s eye and that is what we have here with “Motorboat” on DVD home video.  The 16×9 widescreen presented film is a MPEG-2 encoded DVD5 shot digitally with an overall clean finish. However, compressions issues do appear with minor jittery picture noise and minor banding with skin tones ungraded and appearing sometimes orange in the shot. Thrifty visual effects are you get what you pay for but doesn’t necessarily affect the watch if going in, understanding, and if a fan of the Mark Polonia fast and dirty chugalug of filmmaking. An English stereo 2.0 is wangled by the built-in camera mic that more than most the time doesn’t have too many issues with playback aside the varying and inconsistent dialogue levels despite being in the same scene as well as unable to filter an overwhelming lakeside ambiance. Post ADR was used to overlay a couple of scene dialogue tracks due to the crashing, wind-driven waves of lakeside conversing. As a whole, dialogue sums up pretty clear without serious hurdles. The two-channel speaker relays a punchy boat-toot audio byte that sounds like a Mac truck blaring its horn whenever Messiah Ward the “Motorboat” is cruising the waters and killing the people. There were no English subtitles available. Extras include an audio commentary track with director Mark Polonia who half the time soapboxes his trials and tribulations as well as champions micro-indie filmmaking while also diving shallowly into “Motorboat’s” background waters. The official trailer and other SRS trailers are also present. I’m always impressed with SRS Cinema front cover artwork as it’s very appealing, alluring, and is sometimes not truly accurate and for “Motorboat,” we have a half-submerged woman in distressed and reaching out for help in the foreground as a minacious boat barrel toward her from behind. Not insert inside and the DVD art is the same front cover image but cropped to just show the woman’s frightened, eyeshadow-streaked face. Region free with a rum-runner runtime of 75 minutes, SRS Cinema’s DVD comes unrated. “Motorboat” is pure Mark Polonia and if you’re expecting high-caliber horror, you’re going to need more than a life preserver to survive these chopping waters.

As Chief Brody Always Said, This Isn’t a Boat Accident!  “Motorboat” on DVD today!