The EVIL of the Land Before Time Is Awake and Hungry! “Saurians” reviewed! (Visual Vengeance / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on October 14, 2026

“Saurians” on Visual Vengeance Collector’s Edition!

A controlled construction site blast along the area of what is known as Fossil Valley, an idyllic area where bone relics of dinosaurs can be unearthed, inadvertently opens up a rock gas-oxygenated pocket that kept preserved two slumbering prehistoric dinosaurs – one herbivore and one carnivore. Caught in the middle is a group of paleontology students on assignment to find, study, and record their discoveries. Also caught in the middle are the unlucky ones the carnivore has for a long-awaited meal. Informing their professor of their extraordinary findings of living, breathing, and full of teeth fossils, the students believe help is on the way but what confronts them is a black-market hunter hired by the professors for monetary gain for their primeval trophy heads. The students are under the forced direction of a hunter to lead the way but the hunter’s arrogance leaves him ill-equipped to tackle larger-than-life creatures from another time.

One of the earlier films of “Church of the Damned” and “Splatter Farm” indie-filmmaker Mark Polonia from 1994, “Saurians” is a stop-motion, puppet-staging, super 8-filmed creature feature with Jurassic-sized aspirations to be the “Jurassic Park” of the micro market. Polonia not only directed but the Pennsylvania-born auteur also wrote the script, produced the film, edited the reel, and had a starring role that secured him his first dino-disaster picture and be a foundation to his prolific, latter career that doesn’t seem to be slowing down one bit. “Saurians” is filmed local to Polonia in Wellsboro, Pennsylvania, an area he’s filmed many of his budget projects, and doubles as underlying theme on the naturalistic dangers and disasters of fracking and blasting as the hills of Wellsboro does contain man-made modernized vision of unearthing for profit margins, which greed is also ingrained into the narrative as well. Along with Mark Polonia producing the film was his late, twin brother John and the siblings’ Polonia Brothers Entertainment” company was the studio on the film.

As noted, Mark Polonia stars as the nerdy fossilist student Alan who scours the low water level riverbeds for ancient animal relics in Fossil Valley with a pair of colleagues on assignment. With him are the foretold love interest Lynette, played by Maria Davis (“How to Slay a Vampire”) who would become Polonia’s wife, and the more blitheful to the assignment Charlie, played by Matthew Satterly (“Church of the Damned”). With a bowl cut, large, framed glasses, and a caterpillar mustache overtop his slender physique, Polonia’s appearance, along with his Lewis Skolnick button down collar shirt and church slacks, screams studious student of archeology compared to the others in more relaxed attire and trendy physical fads. Their acts contrive adequate concern but still often feel stiff with hesitation, especially with large man-eating dinosaurs attending the all-you-can-eat human buffet. The personality award goes to the fourth and final principal actor Todd Carpenter (“Bad Magic”) as the hired hunter to track down and kill the dinosaurs like African game, dressed ironically in a bright orange reflector and even more ironically wielding a gunslinger revolver to hunt carnivores, elephant-sized reptilians. With a theatrical and condescending melodrama in his voice, Carpenter’s caricature villain bites off more than he can chew as his arrogance will get the best of him, or rather the Allosaur type dino. When the two groups meet, there is no denying their distinction of roles and play into the tension of a prehistoric terror. The remaining cast round out with victims of the primeval times come to clash with modern times; these roles are played by supporting cast members Dustin Davis, Chris Jones, Josh Nagy, Courtney Marie, Paula Nobles and Todd Rimatti.

Back in the early to mid-1990s, Dinosaurs landing in modern times, wreaking havoc amongst mankind, was all the rage with the height of success of “Jurassic Park,” many thanks toward director Steven Spielberg. Even dinosploitaiton flicks that released before “Jurassic Park,” such as “Carnosaur” a few months earlier, saw post-release success because on how influential the Spielberg blockbuster was that gave extinct predators a new lease on life. “Saurians” is no Hollywood mega blockbuster and is extremely lo-fi in all areas from special effects to A/V but there’s no difference of ambition between Spielberg and Mark Polonia who set out to make an adventurous thriller of prehistoric proportions to the extent and limits of their given budget. The “Saurians” tale is about as routine of a dormant-now-awake monster movie as it comes without involving scientific and technical mumbo-jumbo to exposition a reason for the revival of dinosaurs but still follows core plot devices and themes that parallel bigger productions, such as the unearthing of said creatures, whether be a lifeform preserving pocket of rock gas or a fossilized mosquito in tree sap, and the subject of sin where greed comes into play with the hunter and the turncoat professor try to bank off dino hide by selling it on the black market.

Visual Vengeance’s 2K scan of the original tape elements keeps the standard definition and early triacetate celluloid Imperfections. Now, you may say to yourself, “Tape elements? Didn’t you say Mark Polonia used Super 8 film?” Yes, I certainly did, but since the film was edited on and for tape, Visual Vengeance scan is from the tape material, which was also approved by director Mark Polonia. Presented in 1.33:1 full screen aspect ratio, there’s miniscule improvement onto Blu-ray to keep the a 8mm reproduction for the final product with a yellowish tint form emulsion fluid, plenty of cell light leaks, and a grainy textures that retains its naturality. If you’re looking for quality excellence, don’t expect it here from this release or any Visual Vengeance release that tries to keep the original aesthetic and rightfully so or else loses it’s dated charm. The English Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo is scanned from the second dubbing that was produced years after the release. There’s obvious separation between visual and audio, but the overall clarity is clean and discernible with the dinosaur roars have a stock quality and recycle about it but retains a consistent volume range and condition. Depth doesn’t work with the ADR that keeps all the action near the forefront. English subtitles are optionally available on the papier-mâché-like motion menu. A bountiful of special features include a new commentary by Mark Polonia that’s moderated by the Visual Vengeance team, outtakes of the “Saurians” stop-motion effects, the super 8 raw footage, an Rae Don, never-before-seen alternate version of the film, Mark Polonia’s commentary track for the Rae Don version, a bonus Polonia film “The Dinosaur Chronicles” from 2004, a commentary track for the bonus film, the making-of “The Dinosaur Chronicles,” the “Saurians” Visual Vengeance trailer, the Visual Vengeance trailer for “The Dinosaur Chronicles,” the “Saurians 2” trailer, and other Visual Vengeance trailers for their at-home releases. The Blu-ray release starts with an Andy Warhol inspired cover art with menacing dinosaur heads swallowing tailored-garbed human legs with an pop art orange background and blood splatter. Inside the clear Amaray, the primary Blu-ray art has more Godzilla destructiveness with a cityscape under a fiery bedlam and two roaring T-Rexes wreaking havoc with the reverse side containing the original VHS art. Tangible items inside are a mini-folded poster that’s Jurassic Park inspired, a single-page advert for “The Dinosaur Chronicles,” a dime bag with “Saurian’s Attack” mini-slip with 1 piece of the actual Super 8 mm cell, and the usual retro sticker sheet that comes with Visual Vengeance releases. The 83-minute film is unrated and encoded to play for all regions.

Last Rites: “Saurians” is no “Jurassic Park” but has the feral heart of the creature feature subgenre brought back from extinction for a new transfer and package of carnivorism.

“Saurians” on Visual Vengeance Collector’s Edition!

An Invisible, EVILociraptor is No Walk in Jurassic Park! “The Invisible Raptor” reviewed! (Well Go USA Entertainment / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on February 12, 2025

“Insivible Raptor” Tearing Onto Bluray! Buy it Here!

once promising paleontologist is reduced to being a dinosaur theme park sideshow act after being swindled and sued for a discovery of a lifetime aboard. When a deadly and intelligent lab created raptor escapes from its maximum-security confines, the paleontologist, an attractive ex-girlfriend returning into his life, and an eager townie security guard with no friends must put a stop to the first living, breathing carnivorous dinosaur in 65 million years, but tracking down an invisible creature with razor sharp talons and teeth is no easy task, and they must follow the carnage and bloodshed of its wake in order to stop it. With little resources, relying mostly on the paleontologist’s expertise and the chummy security guard’s willingness to take life-or-death risks for his new friends, the trio rope in a local, rough-around-the-edges chicken farmer to persuade the foul ancestor into a madcap trap before the whole town becomes raptor food.

Audiences shouldn’t care about another “Jurassic Park” sequel. Instead, any cretaceous period anticipation should all be channeled and focused toward Mikey Hermosa’s “The Invisible Raptor.” The 2023 comedy-horror is not land of the lost as it lands right in our homes on a new physical media release. Written between first feature film writers Mike Capes and Johnny Wickham, the “Dutch Hollow” director Hermosa is not one bit phased by the prospect that his main villain is every bit nasty and furious as antagonists come but is entirely out of sight! With the challenge accepted, Hermosa aims to pull of the next big comedy-horror dinosaur film since “Tammy and the T-Rex” while ribbing in fun it’s bigger, more successful, campy-somber, franchised brethren mercilessly. Hermosa coproduces the Showbiz Baby and Valecroft production with writers Capes and Wickham as well as William Ramsey and Nic Neary with Well Go USA owning the theatrical and at-home presentation rights.

Capes writes for himself as the hard-up paleontologist Dr. Grant Walker, a play on Sam Neill’s Dr. Allen Grant, who has succumb to being of caricature of his profession and while the Dr. Walker is downcast despite his credentials, educations, and reputation, opposite him is the town goof Deniel “Denny” Denielson (David Shackelford, “Beneath”), a friendless, family-less, theme park security guard who’s repute amongst his peer is lower than fossilized dinosaur crap, but his attitude remains cheerful and positive. The two characters complement each other with budding growth in their arcs of Dr. Walker not pushing people away like he did with ex-girlfriend Amber (Caitlin McHugh) and Denny, with every ounce of his hillbilly being, trying to a fault to make a friend. There’s a slew of eccentric side characters but one not more as colorful as chicken farmer Henrietta McClusky. Played by the early 70-year-old Sandy Martin, the “Scalpel” role debuting actress who had a profound supporting character career having had a role in “Napolean Dynamite” and “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” in recent years continues her dry humor, dark comedy run with the Henrietta role a crude, rude, and with ton of attitude poultry farmer with a no nonsense way about her and while Henrietta is a deeply sexual creature in her own right, the amorous tension lies in between Walker and Amber that have instantly become two magnets in rekindling their lost flame. The ease of which the two characters are written to be instantly smitten is greatly construction to be an almost an unattainable relationship by introducing a child with no relationship to either one of them, a decade long gap without a ton of hurt feelings for the other’s sudden decision of career over love, and, the obvious, a large, man-eating, invisible predator repelling the two magnets apart. Sprinkled with familiar faces, “The Invisible Raptor” rounds out with notable cult film actors, such as Richard Riehle (“Office Space,” “Hatchet”), Larry Hankin (“Armed and Dangerous,” “Home Alone”), and Sean Astin (“Encino Man,” “Lord of the Rings”) as well as a cameo appearance from Vanessa Chester who played Dr. Ian Malcolm’s daughter in “The Lost World” in another potshot at the “Jurassic Park” series.

Between the hilariously staged “Jurassic Park” callback moments and an unnerving number of gags around the butt region (raptor feces, fossilized raptor buttholes, butt jokes in general), “The Invisible Raptor” has a lot of humor that’s either smart or misses the mark, but not by much in the cogently confined venture packed full of heart, heroism, and havoc on a prehistoric, science-fiction level. “The Invisible Raptor” may be a modern-day gory comedy-horror but that gory-horror element combined with a bit of underground covert weaponization of dinosaur has a real throwback sense to the early 90’s to early 2000’s dino-horror, such as the “Carnosaur” films, “Tammy and the T-Rex,” and, of course, “Jurassic Park.” Dino-horror is a niche subgenre that’s rare explored unless it’s totally satirical (“The Velocipastor,” “The Jurassic Dead”) or rooted more in a lost world aspect, sporadically released throughout the decades with “Raptor Island” or the more perilous journey of “Land of the Lost,” original series and it’s more comedic feature remake. Hermosa quickly moves out from the testing bunker lab that has been the Raptor’s home and where the scientist treat it like an adored, harmless child, a theme of attachment to harmful things we shouldn’t be attached to and gets right into the mayhem by letting it loose in only a way one could perceive a raptor would – in indiscriminating bloodshed. Hermosa also doesn’t flinch with an invisible titular foe, one the actors have to mentally conjure up to play against in a combative or cat-and-mouse scene, with neatly composited special and visual effects of floating objects, quickly consumed severed heads, and silhouette work through blood spray, heat vision, and a shower curtain by the talented Steve Johnson (“Lord of Illusions,” “Species II”) and Dorian Cleavenger, both of who bring years of experience and both of whom have worked together for the effects of Robert Englund’s “Fear Clinic.”

Audiences won’t see this one coming! “The Invisible Raptor” debuts onto an AVC encoded, high-def 1080p, Blu-ray courtesy of Well Go USA Entertainment. The single-layer BD initiates some cause for concern on the image presentation prior to viewing but the picture produced is solid and stable with no banding in the darker voids, especially in those areas since there is no Raptor to be seen mostly during the night exteriors, poorly lit underground laboratory, or in the lowly key-lit interiors, there’s more shaded and hallow space exposed in the 1.78:1 widescreen aspect ratio. Textured details are generally adequate with a softer, smoother touch from capacity compression, coupled with a hazy warm yellow-green lighting scheme. The more standard, non-stylistic shots have better definition to where the details on Dr. Walker’s paleontologist outfit stand out amongst the eye glazing brown-and-tan colors and in the gooey grooves of the Velociraptor fecal matter complete with yellow kernels of corn. Visual effects are handled with not too revealed explicitly to limit noticeable computer imagery and keep all that is practical the focus. Audio options come in two English formats – a DTS-HD 5.1 and Stereo 2.0. The range on this mix is explosive as it is subtle right down the clicks and grunts of the assumed noises one would be led to believe a prehistorical, carnivorous raptor would make. Dialogue renders clearly and definitively prominent amongst ensuring bedlam cacophony whenever there’s a dino-crises in a more than one people grouping; the audio compilation has been carefully layered to denote exactly what’s intended to be discerned at that moment. English and French subtitles are available. There are no encoded special features on fluid menu of this feature only release but there is a quick bonus scene at the end credits. The physical copy has only a little bit more in the way of extra content with a cardboard, tactile-titled O-slipcover sporting the current state of arranged character pyramid composite. The snap lock Blu-ray Amaray is standard with the same cover art and no tangible extras inside. Rated R for bloody violence and gore, crude sexual material, drug use, and brief graphic nudity, Well Go USA’s release is region A encoded for playback and has a runtime of nearly 2 hours at 114 minutes.

Last Rites: Though the raptor may be invisible, this release should be seen by all! “The Invisible Raptor” is a hilarious “Jurassic Park” parody with plenty of bite, plenty of fun, and plenty of non-visible computer-generated dinosaurs, especially for those who are feeling the dinosaur fatigue.

“Insivible Raptor” Tearing Onto Bluray! Buy it Here!

EVIL’s Confessional Will Be Their Rex-oning! “The VelociPastor” reviewed!

Posted by Steven Lewis on September 29, 2019

Father Doug Jones witnesses his parent’s murder by a violent car explosion and begins to question his devotion to God. At the advice of his friend, Father Stewart, Jones travels the world to rediscover his faith, landing him in the deep forests of China where he comes in contact with an ancient, mystical artifact. His discovery is life changing, or rather physically changing, as the power of the relic enables him to transform into a vicious dinosaur. The horrifying thought of his transformation and killing of an armed and dangerous thug has the priest scrambling to recollect himself as the man of the cloth, but the prostitute, who witnesses his true calling of vigilantism, convinces him to use his newfound powers against the swarm of crime. A secret clan of ninjas, acquainted with Jones’ abilities, seek to destroy his unofficial denomination to progress their diabolical plan for domination.

Full disclosure. There in lies a soft spot for bad, sometimes off-script, horror movies involving the prehistoric reptilians. On the USA Network, decades ago when USA Network had late night horror films, “Carnosaur” trilogy was enjoyable to watch, hooking and reeling me into the dino horror subgenre. The categorically offbeat genre even unearthed my celebrity crush even before I knew who she was with “Tammy and the T-Rex.” Even in the heavily edited form, Denise Richards still stunned me with her dino-riffic dynamics. Plus, Vinegar Syndrome is releasing an unedited version! ItsBlogginEvil just posted a review, not too long ago, for another Wild Eye releasing, “Jurassic Dead!” Steven Spielberg and the “Jurassic Park” franchise, of course, laid the foundation of critically acclaimed Triassic and Cretaceous thrillers, but the crude complexion of the indie market feels more at home, more uninhibited, and, definitely, more spirited and that’s what writer-director Brendan Steere and his team breathes new life into with the horror-comedy “The Velocipastor!”

The man behind the titular “The VelociPastor” character is Greg Cohan, a television actor regular, who dons the clerical collar and endeavors through the practical special effects of “The First Purge’s” Jennifer Suarez. Young, fit, and a good sport, Doug Jones is perfect for a clergyman turned velociraptor who dismembers the wicked and karate kicks ninjas while also sporting a pink mini dress in a scene of self revelation and also doing hand-to-hand combat in whitey-tighties. Opposite Jones, playing the love interest, is Alyssa Kempinski as the hooking for tuition pre-law med student, Carol, who becomes the facilitator of Father Jones prehistoric predicament. Jones and Kempinksi charisma shine through the absurdity as their keenest for each other develops into a full fledge fighting duo. Kempinski’s softer touch compared to Cohan’s zany comedy levels out, if that’s even possible, a film about a priest with a dino-lycanthrope complex. “The VelociPastor” supporting cast are equally as sharp with the farcical, pulpy vibe, rounding out with some really fantastic performance from amateur actors, including Aurelio Voltaire (“Model Hunger”), Brendan Steere’s father Daniel Steere, Jesse Turtis, Jiechang Yang, and a pulsating rendition of a worst-of-the-worst pimp with Fernando Pacheco de Castro.

“The VelociPastor” doesn’t take itself seriously, paralleling the similarities to other martial art parodies like “Kung Pow: Enter the Fist,” but Steere incorporates a healthy appreciation for pulp writing and independent filmmaking for his crowdfunded venture. While the “The VelociPastor” might have a trashy, kitschy name to draw in audience and also heavily lined pocket patrons, the film itself isn’t all that trashy, schlocky, or shoddy. Much of the action is not Father Doug Jones as a skin-shredding Dinosaur wreaking havoc amongst the lowlifes and crime syndicates, the very vibrant montage takes care of that, but rather runs a baseline story of a man and a woman, from two separate worlds of prostitution and a man of faith fall in love, has fairly simple and conventional means once all the idiosyncratic glitter and glam is removed; a notion that can be said to be the foundational basis for many other movies. Even director Brendan Steere admitted during a Q and A session that “The VelociPastor” isn’t a jab at the Church, closing the door on conjecture and blasphemous intentions with the ending remark that velocipastor just sounded cool from a harmless auto-correct error.

Wild Eye Releasing and Cyfuno Ventures presents “The VelociPastor” onto a unrated DVD home video. Based off Brendan Steere’s 2011 faux grindhouse trailer of the same title which the director used 16mm Kodak stock, the feature film loses a fair amount of that particular grindhouse appeal, but Steere still manages to manufacture grindhouse attributes by creating scratches on the floor of his dark bathroom and also baking the film in his oven to obtain a warm, dry coloring to give the film age and deterioration. Details in the 2018 film are ten times more distinguishable than in his 2011 trailer and the since being garnished almost completely with practical effects, nothing detailed has grand poise and exhibits every uncouth knook and cranny that only adds to the horror-comedy’s charm. The 2.0 stereo mix has an even keel about it and doesn’t embark on the same grindhouse wear Steere attempts to develop on the image, but the dialogue is prominent and ambience, from the fighting hits to the roar, is on point with depth and range. English closed captioning subtitles are available. Bonus features include a commentary track, gag reel, a Texas Frightmare Cast and Crew question and answer with Greg Cohan, Brendan Steere, and Jesse Gouldsbury, and the theatrical trailer. As about as B-movie as a feature can get, “The VelociPastor” rekindles the jurassic age’s primal instincts and unleashes a new and ferocious cult icon, one that’ll not only bite your head clean off, but will exact the last rites before doing so! Amen!