EVIL vs EVIL vs EVIL vs EVIL vs EVIL etc., “Bigfoot vs Krampus” reviewed! (Ruthless Pictures / DVD)

Posted by Steven Lewis on December 28, 2022

Merry Kirstmas to all! “Bigfoot vs Krampus” on DVD!

With Christmas time approaching and the Illuminati forces on the retreat, the Allies are in high spirits. Space rough neck Van Helsing considers taking his relationship with Allied Forces leader Princess Kali to the next level. Unfortunately Satan is set to ruin the moment. From the depths of Hell, the wicked Lord Of Darkness summons the demon spirit of Christmas, Krampus to wreak havoc on the living. Upon hearing the news, the clone of magician Aleister Crawley joins forces with the reptilian form of General Stalin and the Illuminati to mount a Christmas Eve attack on the Allies forcing Van Helsing and Kali to take drastic action. With help from the rowdy space rouge Bigfoot, the Allied Forces bait a syndicate of monsters to help take down the fiendish Krampus and restore peace to the galaxy.

Usually, I write my own storyline synopsis for the physical releases I provide review coverage for as there’s something about firsthand accounts that interpret more clearly and is more detailed in story events than the tagline plot that can be misleading at times, whether be a false marketing ploy to sham potential viewers into watching or goes to the other extreme with a less-than-desirable summary of drab when really the movie is much more magical, but with the 2021 released “Bigfoot vs Krampus,” the bizarre synopsis is worth every word count calorie. Coming off the heels of a decent bigfoot picture from 1976 (“Creature from Blake Lake”) and playing into the festive Christmas holiday theme with the anti-Santa folklore, I was fingers crossed and impossibly hopeful to be two-for-two in the Sasquatch saga that kills two birds with one stone in doing my duty watching holiday-horror. Boy was I terribly mistaken. “Bigfoot vs Krampus” is just a full-length computer-generated cog in the machine of writer-and-director BC Fourteen and is a part of his so-bad-they’re bad versus film lot of an unofficial science fiction, comedic and satirical saga of generally evil in nature icons facing off against one another….in space. “Bigfoot vs the Illuminati,” “Bigfoot vs Megalodon,” and even “Trumpocalypse Now!” and “Trump vs the Illuminati” really speak the filmmaker’s political stance as well really speak volumes on the filmmaker’s wayward clashes of alternative universes that amalgamates characters from horror, sci-fi, folklore, and video games into battle beyond the stars cratered epic. From executive producer Tony Cliftonson and producer Randall Finings, both involved with “Tickles the Clown, another spinoff in BC Fourteen’s gonzo-galaxy epic, “Bigfoot vs Krampus” is a production and a presentation of indie distributor Ruthless Studios.

“Bigfoot vs Krampus” is total, 100% computer-generated graphics with only voiceovers to bring the highly kinetic, standing-in-place characters to resemble something that looks like life. BC Fourteen doesn’t stray too far from his regular voice talent as many of the same characters reoccur or popup randomly in this galactic gasbag of all talk and little action. When not voicing family friendly films, Marco Guzmán finds himself fouling the language barrier of space as he lends his vocals to the majority of principal leads and supporting char acters, such as the titular hairy primate Bigfoot who in the film sounds like a bastardized, sonorous, and raspy version of Fat Albert. Guzmán also voices another principal lead in Van Helsing, the 16th clone of the original vampire slayer. Known by his friends as V.H., Van Helsing looks less like a doctor with a stake and more like the Master Chief from Halo, never removing his helmet as he spews surefooted cockiness across the galaxy. Guzmán also voices the reptilian form of a reincarnated Joseph Stalin as well as the Egyptian sun God, Ra, who has ambiguous loyalties but can be useful to the allies as an all-seeing eye of the universe. Carli Radar voices humanities last hope and hero, Kali. The allied forces leader is pregnant with V.H.’s baby, a contentious sore point for Van Helsing who felt tricked into providing Kali a progeny, but has to become mankind and the illuminati, stereotypical green Martians with big black eyes and small mouths, last leader when the Illuminati’s Princess is destroyed by Krampus (who is oddly not listed as being voiced in the film’s credits), Satan’s partner in clinching power over the allies. The voice talent rounds out with Nate Trevors, Edson Camacho, Wes Bruff, Leslie Parsons, Simon Daigle, Carl Folds, Robert Forth, and BC Fourteen.

What do Bigfoot, Krampus, Megalodon, Clowns, The Terminator, Dummy Dolls, The Boogie Man, Werewolves, Satan, Anubis, Ra, and Jack Skeleton all have in common? BC Fourteen CGI’d their likeness into his…I don’t even know how to classify the film. I’ve had a run-in with a BC Fourteen film 8 years ago with 2014’s “Werewolf Rising” when the Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania-born filmmaker went under the name BC Furtney and aside from a stellar performance by the always captivating Bill Oberst Jr. and Irena Murphy baring a full moon going snout-to-nips with a werewolf, “Werewolf Rising received a mixed review but was still comprehensible with a start, middle, and an end. Though I stress the comedic and satire, a precaution must be instilled as the unfunny “Bigfoot vs Krampus” drags through the mud a trove of select horror and sci-fi pop icons in carbon copy tiny spaceships, flying around in a muddlesome mess, and rendered completely unnatural in an advanced resemblant version of the Goldsrc engine – you should see Bigfoot run down the ship’s corridors. If “Bigfoot vs Krampus’ were a series of cinematic story intercuts sewn together with gameplay axed entirely, I would believe it, and I’m sure, having spot check a few of the sequels, prequels, and spinoffs of the same caliber, that some animated scenes are recycled. There’s definitely recycling happening in this feature. If the war between the Illumanti-Humans-Bigfoot allied forces and every evildoer under the sun wasn’t thematic enough, the pseudonymous BC Fourteen throws in Van Helsing’s struggle with conscious as the cloned hired mercenary with legendary blood lineage skips town and on his baby’s mama because he does not feel appreciated in a fight that’s technically not his. The director also adds a subplot of Bigfoot checking in with old friend, and apparently cafe barista, Anubis to make sure the Sun Deity Ra isn’t fibbing about Van Helsing’s unexpected demise at the hands of Krampus. Everything does circle back around to an open-ended showdown for that next exposition heavy installment of intergalactic garbage made with no heart, no respect and very little effort.

If the synopsis didn’t frighten you off from watching the film, text pulled word-for-word from the Ruthless Pictures’ DVD back cover, I surely hope this review left you with a bit of common sense prior to watching a cool and kitschy what if versus scenario. The Ruthless Pictures DVD presents the glossy computer graphics in a widescreen 1.78:1 aspect ratio. I will admit the animation provides here-and-there tactile moments, such as battle scuffs on robots or the ridges, grooves, and lighting on Krampus’s curled horns. All the animation looks about the same throughout, leaving a one-note taste that’s hard to wash out, but the at times, the CGI provides that nice ragdoll feel for humanoids Van Helsing and Kali and the lighting/shading does make appear more luxurious. Compression issues include background banding and splotches in darker spaces, but for the majority of the feature, those issues are limited. Though no listed on the DVD’s attributes, my players states “Bigfoot vs Krampus” has a single audio option – a Dolby Digital 2.0. For a science-fiction baster war, the lossy format is a lackluster that doesn’t surprisingly match all the other qualities, pushing out a mediocre 5-6Mbps average. Option English subtitles are available under the static menu. The DVD is a bare bones release with zero bonus content. The DVD is encoded region free and has a runtime of a merciful 70 minutes. Bigfoot films are back in the dumps again for this reviewer as “Bigfoot vs Krampus” is a flurry of insipidity and, the worst part of it all, it doesn’t add anything to the Christmas holiday horror subgenre with the Krampus module built-in for the sake of impersonating a something about as old as it’s folklore, a space invader.

Merry Kirstmas to all! “Bigfoot vs Krampus” on DVD!

Evil Zombies Inherit the Earth! “Zombieworld” review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on May 29, 2015

A deadly virus turns the world’s living population into a hoard of fleshing-eating, brain-devouring, gut-munching zombies and KRPS anchor Marvin Gloat bravely remains on the airwaves reporting the walking dead incidents from all over the globe until his very last breath. “Zombieworld” delivers an undead collection, glorified in gore, vicious in violence, and surely necessary for the human survival in a zombie inhabited world. From Canada to Australia and from the United States to Spain, the tales of the risen dead relentlessly show no mercy with no holds barred on the bloodletting.

From RLJ Entertainment and Image Entertainment comes “Zombieworld” onto home DVD video from the United Kingdom and for all you zombie apocalypse nuts out there, “Zombieworld” will be your handbook guide through the trying times. “Zombieworld” is the epic storytelling of various zombie-related accounts from several countries directed by young and fresh talent who bring a blood bathed new take on a seriously soaked genre. The 11 narratives are unique in their own rite, but share a common horror-comedy element with the exception of a couple of segments. While internet researching on “Zombieworld,” my curiosity got the better of me and I wander onto other review sites to see what my peers’ opinions are about the collection of shorts and to my surprise, the reviews and opinions are fairly negative as the reviewers take in the collection as a whole that’s being glued together by an outer story segment. This style relates similarly to the V/H/S or HI-8: Horror Independent Eight’s way of conveying multiple short films with the outer-storying being their commonality.

In fairness, yes, the outer-story does come off a bit cheesy especially with the animated zombies that resembles the Dire Strait music video “Money for Nothing,” but my main man Bill Oberst Jr. doesn’t disappoint as anchor man Marvin Gloat and his slow transition into one of the undead masses as he continues to report world incidences. However, my interests lie mainly with the girth of “Zombieworld” and what better way to start off the tale-telling by going head first right into an intense first-person take of “Dark Times” where a nuclear plant meltdown causes panic, extreme chaos, a heartless military response, and, of course, rampaging zombies! Bits of comedy come about with a zombie Santa, a golf-club wielding family, and ends with a stellar, monstrous finale that leaves you hanging for your own interpretation!

One of my favorite shorts is the sacrilegious short “Fist of Jesus” directed by David Muñoz and Adrián Cardona. Jesus fights off undead acolytes, Romans, and, uh, cowboys in a gory old Peter Jackson type way and then some. The non-stop comedy and blood translates over to Muñoz’s and Cardona’s other short “Brutal Relax” along with a third co-director Rafa Dengrá. “Brutal Relax” awards itself as the grand finale of “Zombieworld” and rightfully so by being just as bloody as “Fist of Jesus” yet bringing in tons more comedy especially from lead actor José María Angorrilla who portrays a large and uptight, angry-issued ridden man needing of a vacation which becomes interrupted by sea-dwelling zombie-like creatures that rip apart the beach goers.

There are segments that pay respects to other zombie-related medias such as Resident Evil. The Vedran Marjanovic Wekster directed “How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse” are informative shorts that refer to a welcome to sign for Raccoon City and any self-respecting horror fan knows, Raccoon City is a big part of the Resident Evil series where all the Umbrella Corporation hijinks go down. “Teleportal,” helmed by Paul Shrimpton, also pays homage to another video game series that is first person shooter entitled House of the Dead. Forget Uwe Boll’s mess of a film and go for the throat of this short that sucks in a gun-toting controlling player through his television set and right into the zombie attack that contains an ironic and spectacular game-over ending.

Though many of the segments are inspirational, “Zombieworld” does contain some originality. The Aussie-born Cameron McCulloch directed “Home” starring a lovely Jamie McDowell contains no dialogue, but conveys the rough time McDowell’s character goes through with the loss of her fiance who she has chained up. Her loss is so tremendous that she is unsure on how to use her last remaining bullet – will she kill her fiance’s corpse or will she kill herself? The Irish horror-comedy “I Am Lonely,” directed by Phil Haine, follows an naive and annoying young man named Chris living in a zombie overrun town who comes home to his apartment and finds his friend Steve has been fatally injured. As Chris dim wittingly spills out all the absurdities he’s done to Steve, Steve’s injury isn’t solely zombie-related and that’s where things get interesting. Also, an American film entitled “Certified” is not necessarily a zombie short, but only implies to the undead. Luke Guidici directs Rebecca Spicher as young Alice who tells the grim tale of her uncle and cousin’s mind shaft demise to a gullible new mailman that nearly scares him right out of his USPS uniform.

Lastly, some shorts follow a more heart-pounding scenario. For example, “Dead Stop” by director Tommy Woodard is a CCTV shot short that has a police officer pulling up on a frantic woman who is trying to save her bitten husband. The scene grows more intense when the husband turns on his wife. Realistically surreal with well acting completes this short and fits right in with the “Zombieworld” collective. Another intense short with a synonym-like title is the first person view of “Dead Rush” directed by Zachary Ramelan. The viewers embody a man waking up in a bathroom with dead bodies and blood everywhere and we follow his, and two others’, journey as he wields an axe through a mass of the undead. Things get serious when our hero becomes part of the dead ranks from being gut-ripped opened and devoured!

In all, I’m pleasantly pleased with how the Ruthless Pictures and Dread Central produced “Zombieworld” brought in little-to-unknown talent and showcased their short features that awesomely fit into the highly entertaining category and bites ferociously into being one of the best zombie DVD releases of the year! The RLJ Entertainment and Image DVD release cover is colorfully detailed with the best intention on not taking itself too seriously, but feels eerily similar to other notable covers such as “Faces of Death” or Steven Spielberg’s “War of the Worlds.” The specs include a widescreen 16:9 transfer with Dolby Digital 2.0 mix. Since this is a mixed bag of films, the clarity of presentations vary, but I can tell you that most shorts are sharp and clean looking with with no distortions in image or audio. Some of the night scenes in “Home” or “Marathon Apocalypse” have some digital interference that won’t ruin your viewing pleasure. The overall recommendation is to pick this undead puppy up and dive into a whole new world of talented horror directors and I’m positive that your blood lust won’t go unquenched!

Trapped in a Tomb of Evil! Day of the Mummy review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on October 11, 2014

Too few and far in between does a current release for a horror film about mummies comes out. Right off the top of my head, I can only recall Universal’s remake of The Mummy trilogy and Sands of Oblivion. I’m sure if I really thought more about this I could come up with one or two more films about mummies. When I was contacted to screen and review “Day of the Mummy,” a little piece of me couldn’t wait because the mummy genre is the neglected red-headed step child that the public doesn’t like and production companies just don’t know how to market Egyptian crypt keepers. Exploring “Day of the Mummy” was exciting at first but my finds remind me again why being dead, wrapped in bandages, and buried in an ancient tomb can’t catch a break in cinema land.

Well-experienced and notorious Egyptologist Jack Wells is contracted to joins a group of archeologist in a Egyptian desert where a hidden tomb of an infamous and cursed king named Neferu is supposedly buried. Jack’s intentions are not to locate the tomb, but rather recover the Codix Stone that was buried with Neferu. When the team locates the cavernous tomb, a collapse of the cave’s structure traps them inside a tomb that doesn’t exactly hold a dead, mummified King. Their search brings them face to face with undead King seeking human parts to devour and regain strength. Now their only hope for survival lies in the hands of the treasure hunter Jack Wells.

“Day of the Mummy” big named actor attached to the project is Danny Glover. Now, Glover isn’t the Indiana Jones type Jack Wells. His character Carl is a wealthy collector of the finer things and hires Jack, played by William McNamara, to bring back the Codex Stone for him. Glover’s role is a bit odd as he only interacts with Jack through a technology advance pair of wearing glasses that has built-in microphone, video camera, and satellite reception. I’ve known the Lethal Weapon and Predator 2 actor to be more of an interactive professional with other actors and actress around him. For Glover to play an isolated role with no one else in a scene with him takes his stardom away from the movie. He might have been better being the lead character of Jack Wells.

Speaking of the hidden video camera glasses, the film’s perspective majority plays through the eyes Jack Wells. The effect comes off like an adventurous amusement park ride rather than a found footage film where the you explore a cave and strap into a hydraulic seat and give whipped around while a movie screen plays through the action. Part of the adventure amusement park ride feel is due to Carl’s in-screen image that pops up inquiring about the diamond every so often. The only thing missing from this ‘ride’ is the 4-D effects. Now, this perspective makes the film naturally unique, but also takes a bit of maturity out of the plot. Yeah, the film profane dialogue tries to spark life into, but the first person effect can be more effective if a more grotesque view of events comes across one’s sights.

The sophomore film of director Johnny Tabor deserves to be recognized as a fair attempt at a genre that doesn’t spark any life into audiences. One thing that would have helped would have been to fill in the plot holes. The reason the team of archeologists venture to Neferu’s tomb was the result of a recovered video of another archeologist who found the tomb before them. The question is, how did the video get recovered in the first place once the first archeologist disappeared? How is Carl’s satellite feed still working in a sealed cave? Questions like these are annoying and baffling even if the logic is skewed just for the sake of a interesting story.

Along with Glover and McNamara, the cast rounds out with “The Black Water Vampire’s” Andrea Monier, Brandon DeSpain, and Robin Steffen, and along with Eric Young and Michael Cortez. A fine cast with loads of talent behind them, but Tabor’s mummy film entry lives up to others in which fall short of horrifying and thrilling. The hopes of fresh air are stiffened with mummified rotting remains of the past. The perspective is unique and welcomed, but could be fine tuned sieze an opportunity to scare the pants off audiences. The wait continues for a mummy movie to resurrect the floundering, most likely currently defunct, genre. “Day of the Mummy” is an interesting and entertaining ride non-the-less. Image Entertainment’s release hits retail shelves October 20th on DVD in the UK.