Sex, Drugs, and Satanic Evil! “My Master Satan: 3 Tales of Drug Fueled Violence” review!

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Allister, Bubba, and Charlie are friends.  They’re friends who do drugs together.  They’re friends who do drugs together and steal from people.  They’re friends who do drugs together, steal from people, and kill people.  Allister, Bubba, and Charlie are serial killers.  Serial killers on a drug fueled killing spree without limitations or exceptions, not even some of their closest drug distributing friends are exempt from their murderous wrath.  Being serial killers isn’t their only disturbing hobby as they dig up the graves, lay torch to corpses, and torture-to-kill innocent, doughy eyed animals.  Deep rooted depravities clutch so fiercely to the fragments of their tattered souls that the Devil himself can communicate to them through the hallucinations of a bad trip and, after that little glimpse of hell, hailing Satan and spilling blood feels too good to pass up on command.
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Underground filmmaker Dakota Bailey helms a rough and insensitive “My Master Satan: 3 Tales of Drug Fueled Violence” that’s extremely gratuitous in it’s violence and purposefully plotless to be episodic in Allister’s and his ghastly friends’ grisly acts. Labeled as an anthology, “My Master Satan” is suppose to intertwine the individual stories of Bubba (Matt Marshall), Charlie, and Allister into a single entity, but the Bailey written story is more literal than described. The stories circle more around Allister, the glue that pieces the story together, and his interactions with Bubba and Charlie rather than with Bubba and Charlie saturating the scenes with their own segments. Allister is the kind of friend to have in your corner and not piss off; he’s merciless and nihilistic, burning to rip to shreds anyone and anything for the simple joy of delivering pain in the name of Satan. The supporting characters come and go in and out of the story, but seem to motivate Allister, Bubba, and Charlie with tasks of drug dealer’s assassinations and perversions along with conversing, briefly, with other just as insane homicidal friends.
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Bailey intentionally downgrades the video quality to start the ambient hallmarks of an underground shock feature on a VHS format; a film we may experience and see from Unearthed Films distributed features similar, yet watered down versions, of “Slaughter Vomit Girls or the “Guinea Pig” installments or films that were shot by a Hi8 or VHS camcorder made gloriously from cult favorite directors like Brad Sykes, Donald Farmer, or Tim Ritter. Though the video quality purposefully sets the disconsolate tone, the two-third inaudible dialogue audio negates the desired brazen effect from the lack of good mic placement, leaving our ears more toward the screen than our eyes. However, Bailey surely epitomizes the film as a clandestine venture into shock horror that will only find a niche market for those who adore sadomasochistic ultra-violent behavior accompanied with a death metal soundtrack. Luciferian Insectus wasn’t affected by the audio and paired well with the scenes.
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The real shocker to take away from “My Master Satan” is the lack of good practical effects that usually coincide with a micro-to-zero budget project. Underground movies usually require gallons of blood, mise-en-scene implemented extreme violence, or to somehow find a way to stand out amongst the herd of the countless independent filmmakers. A high school biology class skeleton and an actor having simulated sex with a blow up doll doesn’t speak highly of the film’s caliber and won’t cut the mustard. The editing techniques are shaky at best and, even sometimes, relied to heavily on the words on a screen exposition to help the viewer along.
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“My Master Satan: 3 Tales of Drug Fueled Violence” feels like a labor of love from Dakota Bailey and his crew of supporters; however, the film staggers along with unoriginal content that just becomes part of the collective. The intention to unnerve is evident, but the execution didn’t connect nor could the story spark any interest. Not even the autoerotic scene aided in produced a jump to unsettle. The hindrance of dialogue audio loses much of the film’s plotted course, especially when Little Blunt sends Allister on death calls. Not even Bailey’s baritone and slightly raspy voice could be heard at times. Again, an underground feature from Denver, Colorado needs polishing, but shows heart and initiative to relay hurt and allegiance to the dark Lord.

Buy “My Master Satan” on DVD today @ Amazon.com

Ash Vs. Evil Dead – Release Date Announced!

The long awaited follow up to Sami Raimi’s “Army of Darkness,” STARZ original series “Ash Vs. Evil Dead” will summons itself to retail shelves on August 23, 2016 on Blu-ray and DVD. Evil Dead producer Robert Tapert and director Sam Raimi come back to be executive producers for Bruce Campbells big return as Ash for the small screen, television series.

“Campbell reprises his role as Ash, the stock boy, aging lothario and chainsaw-handed monster hunter who has spent the last 30 years avoiding responsibility, maturity and the terrors of the Evil Dead. When a Deadite plague threatens to destroy all of mankind, Ash is finally forced to face his demons – personal and literal. Destiny, it turns out, has no plans to release the unlikely hero from its “Evil” grip.”

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“Ash Vs. Evil Dead” Blu-ray

Street Date: August 23, 2016
Pre-book: July 20, 2016
Catalog #: BD63966
UPC: 01313263966680
Run Time: 294 mins.
Rating: TV-MA
SRP: $49.99
Format: Blu-ray
Aspect Ratio: Anamorphic
Audio: Dolby TrueHD 7.1
Subtitles: English SDH, Spanish

“Ash Vs. Evil Dead” DVD

Street Date: August 23, 2016
Pre-book: July 20, 2016
Catalog #: ST63965
UPC: 01313263965980
Run Time: 294 mins.
Rating: TV-MA
SRP: $39.98
Format: DVD
Aspect Ratio: Anamorphic
Audio: Dolby Digital 5.1
Subtitles: English SDH, Spanish

You can Pre-order “Ash vs Evil Dead” over at Amazon.com!

Is Eli Roth’s The Green Inferno Getting the Shaft?

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Here’s some grade-A bullshit if I’ve ever heard so. The word on the street (Deadline) is that Eli Roth’s directorial feature “The Green Inferno” has been put on hold indefinitely by Open Road Films due to the fact that the company’s financier, Worldview Entertainment, is being tied up with an ex-CEO, Christopher Woodrow, decision to withhold any print and advertisement for the film.

Why hold the P&A?

Some sites suggest that the business end is causing a halt to the film’s September 5th release, but others, including myself, is that the film’s cannibalism subject matter has always been a taboo subject (think “Cannibal Holocaust’s” animal cruelty and has there really been a cannibal film that has had any note of success to it? Perhaps the Alexandre Aja remake of Wes Craven’s “The Hills Have Eyes”?).

“The Green Inferno” revolves around a group of activist who travel from New York City to the Amazon to save a dying, primitive tribe, but when their plane crashes in the jungle, they’re taken hostage by the very tribe they sought to save.

From the Evil Mind of Don Coscarelli! John Dies at the End review!

jdateposterIf you did a retrospective analysis of Don Coscarelli’s film career and try to pinpoint Coscarelli’s area of specialty with in the realm of horror, you’ll wind up scattered all over the place unable to achieve an exact position of Coscarelli’s sub-genre schtick. His latest (and greatest) film endeavor John Dies at the End embarks on being Coscarelli’s next longevity cult hit. Unpredictable and captivating forces you to forget that this indie movie bares no no-named stardom and borders the edge of “crinchable” special effects, but the story grabs you, shakes you, chews you up, and spits you out wanting to know more while leaving you wondering what the hell just happened…in a good way.

Paranormal exorcists and best friends David and John are bound by the supernatural Soy Sauce, a jet black living drug that give David and John the outer body experience and is the source of their powers to fight evil. The Soy Sauce has a ying-yang affect and drive them down a path of sends them into another dimension to face off agains’t a monstrous being that wants to absorb their dimensions knowledge by digesting everything they know!
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John Dies at the End won’t scare you. There are no thrills or chills. What it will do is give you a wicked acid trip. Where bits of meat conjure together to become a meat monster, where door handles morph into large veiny penises, and where eye balls burst out by soul devouring gnats! Only Coscarelli’s mind could be this warped and that warp sense mixture of humor and horror keeps our attention waiting to see what happens next. This mixture also drives the film which is a definite positive, but can also be a negative.

Coscarelli’s film feels all over the place that makes the concept hard to grasp. The non-linear plot places characters in our conscious in disorderly manner without any grounded statuses. By the end of the movie, I start to wonder if there are pieces missing from the story boards. The concept of time doesn’t seem to exist and that might be part of the film’s facade as the drug-fueled outer-body experience.

Chase Williamson and Rob Mayes are great as Dave and John. Dave’s a passive person with a sarcastic attitude but willing to stand John’s frantic personality. John, as I said before, is a bit spastic and has that carpe diem attitude. Their contrast draws them together to form a powerhouse team. Tack on Clancy Brown as a co-worker of their trade with a sleazy white hairdo and Paul Giamatti as a skeptic feature reporter and you have great talent supporting the the two leads who are already phenomenal as your slummy ghostbusters. Doug Jones (Hellboy) makes an appearance whose character doesn’t have enough time screen in my opinion as an other dimension mystic. Lets not forget the cameo of Angus Scrimm as a demon priest – fantastic.
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John Dies at the End will smack you in the face and you’ll smile at the end. You’ll definitely get some laughs because this horror comedy is nearly in the same vein as the Bubba Ho-tep with the anal soul sucking mummy. Magnet Releasing brings you the next Don Coscarelli hit and you can purchase at Amazon.

Evil Loves this MK Mousepad!

I’m a long time Mortal Kombat fan, ever since the original MK was released on the Genesis – yes – the Genesis for you 13, 14, 15, 16 year olds. Sub-Zero all the way! And by the way, this post is not definitely not for those age ranges. The character Princess Kitana always had an appeal whether the appeal was her Japanese steel fans or her massive sex appeal with her scantily clad outfit. But if you’re just a big fan of Kitana, than this will certainly appeal more to her sexual side as we’re introduced to a 3-D mousepad of the Princess.

What makes it 3-D you ask? We’ll her Princess rack, duh! Her weapons are popping up so you can comfortably rest your wrist right on top or in between them. I’m sure there will be users who will do more to this product than I’m will to share here in my post. But check this baby out because the product, despite it’s sexist nature, is fantastic and you can find it, and many more like it and more explicit than it, on Amazon.com.

Maybe this will help with your carpal tunnel syndrome?

Maybe this will help with your carpal tunnel syndrome?

Finish Her!