The Absence of EVIL is Found in the Deepest of Cleavages. “Bigfoot or Bust!” reviewed! (MVD Visual / Blu-ray)

The Bustiest of the Busty on the Hunt for Bigfoot.  Check out “Bigfoot or Bust” on Blu-ray!

Bigfoot – the mythical legend of half-man, half-beast roams the quiet, dense, and uninhabited forests of anywhere USA, scarcely spotted by campers, hikers, and mythical creature enthusiasts looking to catch a glimpse of the dirty furry being.  There are those who are even more keen in catching bigfoot as a small group of big chested women set off into the wilderness to capture bigfoot and make their fantasies come true as they have their way with the beast.  However, two other groups are after the big, bad bigfoot – a brother-sister hillbilly duo seek to lay legitimacy to the legend’s blood relationship to their family and a trio of time travelling blonde babes have come to the past to export Bigfoot’s excrement worth trillions in the future.  Factions collide in this chesty-chase to be the first to snag the elusive, big-breast loving Bigfoot.

I’ve aforesaid that my quest for just an okay bigfoot storyline and film would suffice a lifelong dream of the big man getting some big respect in the movie industry.  You can’t count William Dear’s “Harry and the Hendersons” because it’s frankly not a horror movie though one of the best representations of our common and collective perceptive concepts of the creature.  You can’t also count Ryan Schifrin’s gory and intense “Abominable” as the Yeti is more of Bigfoot’s mountainous cousin.   Would Jim Wynorski, the director of “Chopping Mall” and “Return of Swamp Thing,” have the answer to my, and maybe all of our, prayers with his latest entry “Bigfoot or Bust?”  Far from it.  In fact, Wynorski’s Bigfoot entry, although purposefully campy and slathered with sex appeal, has put Bigfoot films many steps back, creating major concern for the subgenre (as well as the future of comedies) that may never see the light of day with a good installment.   Wynorski also penned the film produced by buxom blondes and feature stars Becky LeBeau, Gail Thackray, and director Jim Wynorski under Coldwater Canyon Pictures.

Instead of “Bigfoot or Bust,” the film should have been retitled as “Bigfoot vs. Bust” as the screen time volume is bursting with more breasts than of Bigfoot, but, likely, both selling features are equal in being not the genuine articles.  Becky LeBeau and Gail Thackray lead a very busty, very mature (as in age, not behavior) cast of cult erotica and exploitation of yore.  The former Playboy centerfold and Pay-Per-View starlet LeBeau’s longstanding work history with Wynorski basically gives her the freedom to do whatever her heart desires and if that means chasing down a man in an Sasquatch suit in skimpy clothing, jumping on random trampolines in the middle of nowhere, and being a DJ producing ACME-style noises with expensive audio equipment with her chesty counterparts, then, by God, that’s what she gets.  “Hard to Die” and “Curse of the Komodo’s” Gail Thackray, once again donning a Dawn-role as Dr. Dawn, a doctor of paranormal psychological and internal medicine, is LeBeau’s co-captain in the rundown expedition with former adult actress Christine Nguyen (“Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros”, “Girls Guns and Blood”), Cindy Lucas (“Bikini Car Wash Massacre,” “Sharkanasas Women’s Prison Massacre”), and Melissa Brasselle (“Sorceress,” “Camel Spiders”) playing an leather-cladded ancestor of the outlaw Jesse James.  A similar titty train chugs along with Tane McClure (“Death Spa, “Commando Squad”), Deborah Dutch (“Caged Women II,” “Dances with Werewolves”), and Antonia Dorian as time-travelers with oversized plastic future guns and a pair of local bumpkins in Lisa London (“Samurai Cop 2:  Deadly Vengeance,” “Xtro 3:  Watch the Skies”) and Lauren Parkinson (“Halloween Pussy Trap Kill! Kill!,”  “CobraGator”).  Nguyen, Lucas, and Parkinson add young hot-bod blood to the cast of mature erotica icons, bringing down the average age to approx. 45-50 years, in an unofficial way of shepherding in the new while giving the past a grand finale. 

Even though a blatant, unbridled farce, I found “Bigfoot or Bust” to be skeezy and unsettling.  And I actually own two copies of “A Serbian Film” and “Slaughtered Vomit Dolls” without an emotional apprehension! Maybe it’s because there’s not a basic storyline and even one single decent performance. Maybe it’s because the inundated buffoonery plays to the oldest tunes of comedy. Or, maybe, the thought of those two previous aspects are as diluted as they are because the hyper focus is on Jim Wynorski and his elderly band of crewmates direct and film mature women in mostly their underwear, squirting themselves with water bottles and having pajama dance parties at night. The whole production wreaks of schlocky, slimy porn with no script and bad acting, but progresses entirely without the main sell of goods – porn! I wouldn’t even label “Bigfoot or Bust” softcore or even a panty sniff of erotica with the profound lack of skin and hard, sweaty bodies rubbing up against each other in a form of passion from that cast that has decades of body display under their itty-bitty tiny bikinis. Wynorski has directed graphic sexploitation films complete with snazzy, spoof-titles in “The Bare Wench Project,” “Alabama Jones and the Busty Crusade,” and “The Witches of Breastwick,” but Wynorski seemed determined to be anti-nudity, anti-explicit, and overall anti-film in his latest venture without thematically breaking stride in a genre that has become second hand to the filmmaker. “Bigfoot or Bust” is erotica-lite, a lofty romp that’s self-aware of it’s own brand of comedy and exhibits no shame for it’s peep-less peepshow.

The 90’s has come to call to infiltrate the 22nd century with bygone lust idols in “Bigfoot or Bust” on Blu-ray home video from MVD Visual. The not rated, region free Blu is presented in a widescreen 1.78:1 aspect ratio. Image-wise, the digital picture is unsurprisingly free and clean of spoils, has discernible details, and retains the natural lighting to reflect the natural skin tones on the unnatural cosmetic enhancements which reflects Wynorski’s long-time, director of photography collaborator Chuck Cirino usual plain as the air in front of you style. Fred Olen Ray’s Retromedia, along with Cirino, handle the visual effects which is nothing more than a convex visual effect around the actress’ chest areas and the speaker system cones for the cheap effect of bursting at the seams. There are also ostentatious, future-gun, energy beams that add that tickle of excitement much needed against the long-winded triteness and scores of unfulfilled teasing. The Blu comes with one audio track, an English 5.1 surround sound that perhaps the most genuine part of this release. Since most of the film is shot exteriorly, the dialogue is an echt harvest of tones and captures the surrounding natural elements within the same track with leveled volumes. English subtitles are available. Special features include Becky LeBeau’s hit single for the film, “Animal,” which is just a still photo gallery with an overlay of LeBeau’s single, audio commentary with director Jim Wynorski, a deleted scene of LeBeau changing outfits, a behind-the-scenes featurette worth seeing how Wynorski’s snappy, commanding directorial style and to see the love-or-hate-or-flirtatious dynamics between him and the actresses, and the original theatrical trailer. Runtime is a decelerated 75 minutes. “Bigfoot or Bust” is intentionally whimsy and garners sexploitation royalty for a self-deprecating good time, but the end result is unfunny, unattractive, and kitschy for a director and cast wandering outside their normal niches.

The Bustiest of the Busty on the Hunt for Bigfoot.  Check out “Bigfoot or Bust” on Blu-ray!


EVIL’s Feast or “Famine” reviewed!


An annual high school famine event goes horribly wrong when a prank backfires, killing popular teacher Mr. Balszack and scarring those directly responsible for his untimely death. Five years later, a new student seeks to revive the famine-for-24-hour old tradition, inviting the same familiar faces involved in the prank, and hoping to rejuvenate vigor into the even again. Clicks form, alliances solidify, and outsiders become the insiders into just what’s really happening to the graduating class. With the night still young, a killer masquerading as the school’s mascot, The Nailer, exacts a terrible death upon those trying to not die of hunger or become dead from being categorized as unpopular. No one is safe from The Nailer who has chained the doors and has hands on every school authorized item weaponized for his eviscerating pleasure.

High School has never looked so dreadful from the late Ryan Nicholson’s written and directed 2011 gory slasher-comedy, “Famine,” co-written by “Girls Guns and Blood’s” Jeff O’Brien from a Taylor Nicholson story. Nicholson, who died this past October due to brain cancer, was for most a special effects guru who worked on well known films such as “Final Destination,” “Blade: Trinity,” and most recently, last year’s “The Predator,” but Nicholson was also a writer and director who specialized in gruesome, off-color horror, including a bowling horror-comedy “Gutterballs,” a bloody revenge thriller starring Debbie Rochon in “Hanger,” and a cannibalism film of the psychosexual style titled “Collar,” all of which have been released by notable cult home video distributors. With the Canadian bred “Famine,” the multitalented Nicholson had already found DVD distribution with his own company, Plotdigger Films, and a limited collector’s edition with Shock Entertainment back in 2013, but the indie extreme horror devotee, Unearthed Films, have reclaimed the New Image Entertainment title rights for a high definition Blu-ray release.

“Famine’s” quick to gut story doesn’t leave much room to build character, leaving much to exposition in the parameter of backstory, and only dances around the prospect of a principal role. Christine Wallace comes close to that role with Jenny, a ditzy school regular with a case of yelling tourettes syndrome and a hard on for another girl’s boyfriend, as a character on the outskirts of what really happened to Mr. Balszack that fateful famine day. Tall, broad shoulder, well-endowed, and with a pixie cut, Wallace is a striking actress acting similar to a baboon with a backpack and books. Also hot in the sultry pen, but in a more cool, calm, and mysterious way is Miss Vickers under the dark and tepid attributes of Michelle Sabiene. Sabiene and Wallace balance out with a warm blend of vapid cold and vivacious hot that split like a log under the stroke of an axe with Beth Cantor’s performance of Cathy, a mentally challenged student who often exchange sallied remarks with her quasi-friend Jenny and is seemingly the epicenter of Mr. Balszack’s demise. Cantor’s hunched over, Jerry Lewis crosse-eyed, and mimics the movements of a stiff corpse to obtain an overplayed performance that sticks out like a sore thumb and doesn’t pleasantly compliment the ruckus hijinks of a trope-ladened volley. The remaining “Famine” cast closes out with Nathan Durec, Sanya Silver, Terry Paugh, Thabi Maphoso, Ady Mejia, Gustavo MacSerna, Christopher Lomas, Karyn Halpin, Des Larson, and Glenn Hoffmann as the Nazi sympathizing Principal Nielsen.

Being familiar with “Gutterballs” and “Collar,” going into “Famine” with an open mind and the expectation that there will be blood spilled and gore galore was an easy sell for me to plop my keester down, pop the disc into the player, and press play with conviction. Yet, certain bars were reluctantly met with “Famine” and, by golly, it is my sincerest hope that I do not defile the recently deceased’s good name and reputation with my honest negativity, but after thoroughly enjoying the tasteful practical gore effects with the disemboweling spillage, the ramming of a nail spike to the head, and the sulfuric acid doused melting man, “Famine” carries a languid story with characterizations held sparely together with lose threads and comedy that’s flushed with odd behavior rather than genuine purpose. “Famine’s” an inflammatory reckoning of pervertible indecencies and blood with a harking slasher, a score well deserving of Nicholson’s legacy, but the point, if there is one, falls flat and hard on it’s face executing a fail in materializing an organized chaos that “Gutterballs” provided.

Unearthed Films have been a good friend to Ryan Nicholson with a home video release of “Collar” and a segment on “The Profane Exhibit.” Now, along with MVDVisual, “Famine” comes to feast onto Blu-ray presented in widescreen, shot in a high defintion 1.85:1 aspect ratio, with a just over an hour runtime of 77 minutes. Image wise, the Matt Leaf cinematography is bright, clean, and on the side of a warm sterile shade of yellow, but offers nothing truly new to the genre or find adulation from the comedy of it all. Still, not a single issue with uninspired imagery. The English language Dolby Digital 2.0 renders a heavy score track that softens the dialogue track. Dialogue does, at times, becomes a strain to discern. Range and depth on the ambient track fairs better with plentiful slasher characteristics. The bonus features are quite anemic with a still gallery and Unearthed Films’ trailers. “Famine” isn’t one to starve on an unpinned story as Nicholson carves up a mediocre massacre with a filet mignon finish.

Click to buy “Famine” on Blu-ray!