Evil Big Enough to Bite Your Face Off Clean! “Abominable” review!


Six months after a tragic climbing accident that left his wife dead and him crippled and bound to a wheel chair, Preston Rogers has been ordered by his doctor to return home, near the site of accident, with the assistance of a nurse to unify Preston’s shattered psyche. Next door, five, young party girls check in for an all-girls party weekend. However, they’re not alone. In the woods, lurks a monstrous living legend, blood thirsty, and ready to feast on the flesh and bone of animal and human alike. As Preston witnesses one death after another from a perched view while sitting in his wheel cheer, he becomes desperate to reach the survivors’ attentions and no one, from police to his uncouth nurse assistant, believe his story of a vicious, hairy creature skulking in the woods, leaving Preston by himself to save others as well as himself.

They don’t make monster movies like this anymore! “Abominable” is the 2006 blood splattering creature feature from writer-director Ryan Schifrin. The director’s freshman film is a wallop of entertainment with ton of homage and a plenty of gruesome kills that you can revisit over and over again on some kind of morbid repeat in this high caliber, independent, coal-coated gem that’s “Read Window” meets a whole hell of a messed up version of “Harry and the Hendersons.” You don’t want this ginormous meat eater breaking in your couch or raiding your fridge! The tightly knit set locations that might usually stagnant a story are easily compensated with a graphic and bloody violence that stems from the many full frontal visuals on the towering, practical effects monster. “Abominable” also looks and feels really expensive and not a slapped together, last minute production.

Now, Ryan Schifrin might not agree with me here and the director might say that it was his passion that attracted some of the genre’s biggest names to have small roles in first time feature, but I’m pretty confident that his well-known composer father, Lalo Schifrin whose composed for movies “The Amityville Horror” and “The Class of 1984”, had some influential help other than also being the orchestrating composer for his son’s film. In leading with “Abominable’s” main star, I remember this actor from his charismatic boyfriend material character in “Deep Star Six;” Matt McCoy plays the crippled Preston Rogers who must rely on his smarts rather than his physical strength. McCoy’s piecing blue eyes and solid acting chops has him being a believable character in an unbelievable movie. McCoy’s character and his at odds dynamic with skeezy male nurse Otis Wilhelm, dedicatedly played in a first time performance by special effects artist Christien Tinlsey, is probably one of the better shallow pissing matches around. The five party girls are Karin Anna Cheung, Natalie Compagno, Ashley Hartman, genre scream queen Tiffany Shepis, who has one of the best death scenes ever, and rounding off with Haley Joel in the female lead. Hold onto to your hats, because we’re not done yet with the star-studded cast list that includes Rex Linn (“Cliffhanger”), Phil Morris (“Dark Planet”), Dee Wallace Stone (“E.T.”), Lance Henriksen (“Aliens”), Jeffrey Combs (“Reanimator”), and Paul Gleason (“Breakfast Club”). Dialogue between Henriksen and Combs is pure magic and just adds that cherry on top of something already pretty sweet.

Schifrin’s “Abominable” is a down to Earth horror. Practical, small, and a straight shooter that doesn’t try to gimmick a way to fame and cult fandom. Schifrin, with the help of the late “Blairwitch Project” director Neal Fredericks, was able to capture the atmosphere and the creature without having to burden themselves with computer generated imagery or relying heavily on camera tricks or crafty edits to progress the story that certainly needed to be blunt. Fredericks cinematography creates the allusion of a bigger world, a world where Schifrin’s creature lives, breathes, and hunts as the urban legend of the Flatwoods Monster. McCoy sells his role of a challenged individual; one whose on the cusp of giving up with he realizes there’s hope in saving these young girls when he could not save his wife or the use of his legs. Auxiliary cast members are not two-bit nobodies with lifeless personalities of backwoods piss ants; instead, Jeffrey “The Frighteners” Combs and Lance “Pumpkinhead” Henrikson are the best backwoods creeps with shotguns and oxygens canisters to act the roles. The monster’s absolutely and gratifying heinous with the Frito-razor teeth, the dingy string hair, and the mouth that opens up a foot wide.

“Abominable” reclaims a home on the MVD Rewind Collection label with a brand new 2K definition transfer 2-disc, DVD (Standard Definition) and Blu-ray (1080p) combo set, presented in a widescreen, 1.78:1 aspect ratio; however the ratio is stretched to fit the entire screen. The image quality is rather clean, but has a fuzzy, soft overlay that’s true to form with a film originally shot in 35mm coming into contact with some electrical interference. The version of “Abominable” is also a all new cut of the film with improved CGI-effects, which there were some, and were overseen by director Ryan Schifrin and editor Chris Conlee. The release continues with a forthright note about enhancing the color timing and correction to further the experience which epitomizes more clearly in a scene where the blue eyes of Matt McCoy and Haley Joel are depicted overly brilliant when staring at each other in the darkness or in the lighted room or, in fact, anything that’s blue, i.e. Joel’s blue jeans or Otis’s nurses getup is indistinguishable being any other hue. This edition comes with an English 5.1 surround audio, uncompressed PCM on the Blu-ray, and the balance is remarkable. Dialogue is poignant and punctual with the beast’s belly deep roars echoing through with such range and depth that it heightens the monstrous terror. Lalo Schifrin’s score comes out clean enough despite slightly schlocky in comparison to his son’s material. New extras include a new introduction from director Ryan Schifrin and bonus material from other releases become rebranded on this combo release with an audio commentary by Schifrin, Jeffrey Combs, and Matt McCoy, a making of featurette, deleted and extended scenes, outtakes and bloopers, “Shadows” – short film by Ryan Schifrin at USC Student Film school, “Basil & Mobius: No Reast for the Wicked” short by Schifrin that features a score composed by Lalo Schifrin, the original theatrical trailer, poster and still gallery, stoyboard gallery, and a collectible mini poster insert! Whew! MVD Rewind Collection went big and landed huge with Ryan Schifrin’s “Abominable.” The mammoth release will surely be a definitive cut for the scarcely heard of creature feature that’s made with deep reverence for the classic monster movie and denotes a sincere and unwavering passion for the genre, making “Abominable” a lovable tribute of beast slaughtering stowed with paralyzing anxiety and symbiotic with pure, addictive joy.

 

“Abominable” is a must own!

 

Evil Invades Your Holes! Sexsquatch review!

sexsquatch

After numerous attempts have failed in trying to frighten audiences with using the mythical Sasquatch (Assault of the Sasquatch, 2006’s Abominable, Sasquatch Hunters, Devil on the Mountain, Boggy Creek), another release using the big footed monster has missed the mark and severely at that!

Sexquatch: The Legend of Blood Stool Creek – an intentional comedic movie where an alien Sasquatch named Stinkfist crash lands near a camp Summer home where a group of young sex crazed people are staying to have a “get laid” party for one hopeless teen virgin. Stinkfist has one mission on earth to kill and rape any living thing that walks on two legs and his intentions are based off a bet he has with another alien. I’m sure you can guess what happens next?

sexqutch3

I find the difficulty in reviewing such a movie because of the flick’s purposeful nature in trying to be goofy, witty, dumb, stupid, and somewhat bloody. I mean, we’re talking about high school grade humor here with Sexsquatch where sex, shit, and queef jokes are at the top of the list. The brain can only take so much and even after the short runtime of 70 minutes of this humor, I wanted my hour and half back so badly. Sexquatch is not the worst movie I’ve ever encountered, but makes the top ten list in my opinion.

Another thing – if a movie has sex in the title, shouldn’t there be some tits? Exposing some of the ladies bare essentials seemed not essential. Out of the six actresses, only two of them I’d want to see topless and reamed, but the others were…well…ugggh. No chests were exposed and the movie is called Sexquatch. Comprehension of this flaw leaves me and I can’t seem to focus on writing this review anymore. It’s like having Sex and the City without the sex, it’s like having a horror movie without a little gratuitous nudity, it’s like True Blood without vampires. Your title represents your movie and without plot justifications, your title will not be well sought!

Now I might seem a bit harsh with my review o far, but not everything is completely a misfortune for Sexsqutch. Steven Dinero, who plays Skippy in the film, has to be the only redeeming value and I’m guessing with his last name as Dinero, Skippy portrays a good impression of Robert De Niro throughout the entirety; it’s not award-winning material, but the impression relieves a little of the agony.

sexsquatch2

Sub Rosa Studio Cinema brings you this gem and there should be no surprise that’s low-budget and no good at all, but who knows, maybe Sexquatch is your gold mine of funny jokes while extremely stoned off your mind. Like mentioned before, low-budget and you can see the Sexsquatch’s socks and tennis shoes! Haha! If you want a great and scary atmospheric bigfoot picture, see Peter Cushing in The Abominable Snowman or go classic and see Harry and the Hendersons! Not exactly horror, but still a great picture.

Evil Mail Cal! Check out what is on the chop block for It’s Bloggin’ Evil!

MAIL CALL!

The mail man finally brought me my packages.  As I tracked the package, I saw that the package shipped from Pittsburgh, went to Ohio for processing, traveled to Southeastern PA, then to Downingtown, PA which is two minutes from where I reside.  However, when I thought the package would arrive the next day, my blood started to boil when I found that it was just processed in Jersey City, NJ.  Gah!  Five days later (after a weekend), my package finally arrived and I was relieved and now I can share with you what might the content be for future articles.

For the first time on It’s Bloggin’ Evil, I made a video post about what was received.  This gives you a clear idea on the content that one might come across.  Now not every film in this video will be reviewed here because their genres just aren’t evil enough, but I still think it’s interested to see what people can hunt down in flea markets, yard sales, Movie Stop’s used section, Walmart’s $5 dollar bin and so on.  Also, don’t expect just movies on future video posts!

Hopefully you enjoy the video.  I can be a dry talker at times, but I’m a bit camera shy and can get nervous.  There is some bloopers and humorous remarks in this little over 8 minute video.  Thanks again for watching and make sure you return from the grave and check out the evil to come.