Evil Scars Are Not So Visible. Visible Scars review!

My, oh, my how far Tom Sizemore has fallen from actor grace. The once Saving Private Ryan, The Relic, and Black Hawk Down star’s career the past decade has been riddled with drugs, criminal abuse, and sex – (Sizemore made a homemade porn with two “working” girls….no lie). And so Sizemore currently takes a role here and there in small productions granting him the headline of DVD covers and a small fortune for his appearance. The once great villain or, sometimes, anti-hero has been reduced to a bite-size actor for a few thousand in the pocket and the truth comes to light with the movie Visible Scars, but this film is not the first in which Sizemore stars.
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Backwoods redneck, no good guy Mike Gillis shacks up with a whore and strangles her for her two newborn girls. Gillis steals them and gives them to his wife who can’t bare children herself. Years go by and the girls are subjected to isolation and mental abuse which included the cannibalistic feast of their own adopted mother forced upon them by Gillis. A fiery accident claims the life of Gillis and the girls are thought to be dead and their souls haunt the forest in which they once lived and plague four friends who can’t seem to escape their own past as well as the hauntings in the woods.

Visible Scars leaves more unintentional questions which are produced by numerous scenes that just don’t make much sense – you might say these scenes leave lasting scars. To be more detailed, these scenes just didn’t go into more description of the reason behind the characters’ actions. Why did Gillis go cannibal? What about the enormous span of time between Gillis’s death and the incident with the friends? I won’t sit here and type them all, I rather not bore the readers, but Visible Scars has a bad taste once the credits start to role. One thing is certain, the title is fairly straight forward about the evil in this film, more straight forward than the film itself.
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Even though Sizemore headlines the film, his appearance only lasts a third of the way through the film and then the beauty Jillian Murray (The Graves) takes over. The dual story, Sizemore’s and Murray’s, intertwines by the way of the twin girls – twin girls and twin stories – and only separated by the years in between. The mediocracy of Visible Scars won’t win any film festival awards nor will give Sizemore his reclaim to fame, but I wish more thought was put into the story as I believe there is much more potential with the evil in the woods, yet this mine is far from being tapped and I sense no gold will be struck any time soon for a sequel.

Evil Walker Porn! The Walking Dead Hardcore Parody is Cumming!

Fan of AMC’s The Walking Dead? Fan of porn? You’re in luck because a hardcore parody of The Walking Dead is in the works and there’s a trailer for it! Burning Angel Entertainment, the alternative tattoo emo-girl porn company, takes the walkers into a whole new, filthy direction. Burning Angel is also behind other great horror inspired parodies such as Evil Head (Evil Dead), The EXXXorcist (Exorcist) and Re-Penetrator (Re-Animator); all of which star Joanna Angel.
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The trailer is practically PG, but you can visit Burning Angel.com to get a feel (or a feel on yourself) about how Rick and his group might become a little closer together.

Evil Gets Sleazy! Sexcula review!

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Alright! Vintage horror porn! Well, maybe not vintage, but definitely retro porn! Director John Holbrook directs his own horror spoof Sexcula in 1974 nearly 40 years prior to the more recent spoof entitled This Ain’t Dracula XXX. Neither flick will scare your pants off, but somehow your pants will still come off especially with Debbie Collin’s as the sleazy Countess Sexcula!

This campy sexcapade blends horror with hardcore, bushy pornography that includes a the horny Countess Sexcula, a buxom blonde that can’t wait to sink her teeth into the next willing male, and her cousin Dr. Fallatingstein, a saucy brunette who builds a pleasure mate with a serious flaccid problem. Sexcula is brought in to help her cousin in trying to “lift” her mate’s spirits with various seductive pleasures and other depraved methods.

Striptease Gorilla!

Striptease Gorilla!

Honestly, I’ve never heard of Sexcula so when I popped the Synapse and Impulse Picture’s disc into the player, I was pleasantly shocked that Sexcula turned out to be a full-fledged pornographic movie; once I saw the tip of the penis being swirled around the lips of Debbie Collins I knew I was in for a treat! Collin’s doesn’t just get naked, she gets naked plus performing scene after scene and perform the nasty after the nasty while a loose plot is woven in throughout…somewhere….you just have to kind of look past the sex to see the plot.

Sexcula becomes a bit kinky too. In order to get Dr. Fallatingstein’s man in working order, Sexcula conducts a striptease with a Gorilla involved! A sex-bot lies motionless on a table ready and willing to receive any throbbing member even from Orgie (prnounced Or-g) the lonely hunchback Quasimodo-type character. Also, and I think this is the most perverse part of the movie, the stick-it-to-the-institution-of-marriage porn scene where a couple can’t wait to say “I do” before a foursome madness ensues. The scene also brings a new meaning to “wife-swapping” as the bride takes on not only the groom, but the best man and the priest too!

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If the plot was given more thought and a better writing to it’s campiness, Sexcula would have been a stellar hit in porno world. I’d would have liked to have seen more horror a long with the sex, but with any porn spoof like This Ain’t Dracula XXX or Evil Head you have to unbalance the plot with more humor than horror or else the feel of the film more turn more into a snuff film. With the lushness of 1970s horror with the UK Hammer horror films and the United States’ exploitative films, the Canadians could not capitalize or even utilize the horror elements and instead focused more on peace and leave – the way the 70’s are stereotypically viewed.

I’m also disappointed that Jamie Orlando, Dr. Fallatingstein, didn’t grace us with her body. But I shouldn’t be bashing Sexcula; I shouldn’t be expecting more than what meets the eye; I should take things at face value. What should I expect from a movie named Sexcula? Just a ravaging romp of lots of hot un-condomized sex ready to spread all the love and diseases one could handle! Bring on the Sexcula and I must have SEX on the mind because I just reviewed another sex-titled filmed Sexsquatch which you can read my review of the film here.

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