EVIL Tossing Back an EVIL Hail Mary! “The Last Match” reviewed! (Cauldron Films / Blu-ray)

“The Last Match” is Now on Blu-ray From Cauldron Films!

A sovereign, Latin American banana republic is a beautiful paradise for those seeking tropical getaways, such as with 18-year-old Susan Gaylor and her boyfriend George indulging in paradisial romance, but paradise turns into hell when Susan is accused of smuggling drugs out while going through the departure gate at airport security.  George flees the scene to evade capture and phones Susan’s father, famous football quarterback Cliff Gaylor, to help administer talks to release Susan.  When negotiations fall on deaf ears, the American consul is handcuffed by little-to-no relations with the incarcerating nation, and the local counsel are nothing more than greedy exploiters, Cliff and George have no one and nowhere else to turn to except for Cliff’s team of broad shoulder teammates and a gameplan-calling coach dedicating their lives to suit up and extract Cliff’s daughter from the cruel grip of Warden Yashin and his miscarriage of the law and order with an all-out offensive assault.

Italian filmmakers directed a football movie.  No, I don’t mean fútbol, aka soccer.  I’m talking about American football with face-masked helmets, shoulder pads, and a prolate spheroid shaped ball with laces you kick through the uprights.  The contradictory idea isn’t so much of a theorotical concept as it is a reality with Fabrizio De Angelis’s directorial attempt at pigskin gridiron in the early 1990s.  The “Killer Crocodile” director helms the jailhouse break picture entitled “The Last Match, or “L’ultima meta,” released in 1991, from a script by fellow Italians Gianfranco Clercic (“Cannibal Holocaust,” “The New York Ripper”) and Vincenzo Mannion (“Murder-Rock,” “The Last Shark”) that blitzes hardnosed foreign opponents with not only high caliber assault rifles and ammo but also done in full team gear, right down to the numbered jerseys and cleats.  Angelis produces the shot in the Dominican Republic film with Mark Young serving as executive producer with Fulvi Films as the production company.

Not only does “The Last Match” have a theme around an American sport, but it also employs a nearly all-American cast, a popular course of casting once the Italian industry started to gain traction and making films in The Boot proved to be more costly at the time, plus American actors were also far more marketable than Italian actors.   Ernest Borgnine (“Escape from New York,” “The Poseidon Adventure”) plays the fair-weather looking coach who knows common football terms, about as generic as coaching on screen comes without dipping into play strategies and being inundated by the game.  Borgnine’s cruise control motivation is equaled by Charles Napier (“Supervixens,” “Rambo:  First Blood Part II”) in the performance of a hands-tied American Consul stationed in the unnamed tropical country.  While Borgnine and Naiper act in natural nationality aspects, there are also another pair of Americans who transition their talents to be native islanders who are subsequently more deviously portrayed in what becomes a pro-American, anti-foreigner perception.  The actors, whom are also both New York City born, are Martin Balsam (“Death Wish 3,” “The Delta Force”), as a greedy local defense attorney who tries to exploit Cliff Gaylor’s desperation, and Henry Silva (“Almost Human,” “Allan Quartermain and the Lost City of Gold”) with his wide face stretching a maniacal grin as the sadist warden Yashin and though Balsam and Silva tout the root of evil archetype, molded to their individualized immorality, they barely fit in the framework of Latin American men with a less than convincing swarthy spray tan.  In the middle of it all is German-born “’Tis Pity She’s A Whore” actor Oliver Tobias as football star father, Cliff Gaylor, determined to try every line of legal offense to acquit his daughter for the firm hand of the country’s tight authoritarian, punitive system.  Gaylor’s arc possess a line of natural progression through anger, confidence, and desperation, and perhaps even a little bit of all hope is lost but does become stymied, or neutralized, but Coach’s unconventional jailbreak playbook that sends Gaylor into the backseat though he still quarterbacks the mission, at least on paperwork.  Melissa Palmisano as the Gaylor’s wrongfully incarcerated daughter Susan and Rob Floyd playing her determined to help but pretty much young and useless boyfriend George fill out the remaining principal cast alongside bit part support from Jim Klick, Jim Jensen, Jim Kelly, Mike Kozlowsky, Mark Rush, Bart Schuchts and Elmer Bailey as Gaylor’s football brethren in arms. 

As for escape from foreign prison/work camp films go, “The Last Match” ranks at mid-range with a plausible conflict involving being a foreign tourist patsy to mule drugs through airport customs only to be caught, charged, and sentenced to be condemned without fair due process and entitled to incorruptible legal representation.  The scenario enacts frightening destabilizations of a pre-CCTV and security vigilance airport situation, evokes hopelessness of relief or assistance within a near lawless republic, and you can feel Gaylor being drained of all avenues where even his fame and fortune can’t even muster any type of traction in releasing his daughter.  Being a father myself, there’s a compelling aspect to see an expat father helpless in strange surroundings, suppled by indifferent and aggressive native blockades in a corrupt system, with his only choice then being to extract his only child with violent force.  This is the point where the compelling subjugation stops and the gaminess of the story begins to unravel when Coach brings the boys to the yard, yard being the tropical island, to acquire an arsenal, helicopter, and suit up in their conspicuous gridiron gear for an all-out prison assault.  Garbed in bumblebee yellow football pants, black helmets, and white jerseys, the elite wildcat formation commando unit isn’t dressed to blend into the background, foliage, or even the night with their reflective color gametime getup.  Coaching from the sky, Borgnine is perched high in the helicopter calling off plays while his offensive team makes quick and dirty work of the island prison defense without nearly a fumblerooskie.  Conceptual neat for the movies, but practically asinine for reality, “The Last Match” favors the fortunate heroes with a near obliteration of the entire prison camp without a single loss to their own, especially when they’re not in any kind of bullet resistance helmets or vests.  Fabrizio De Angelis runs the ball with confidence in his mildly amusing sports themed actioner as he’s able to blend footage of a national police bowl game into his narrative by fashioning matching football uniforms.  About as surprising as a fleaflicking trick play to win the game, “The Last Match” is worth going for the endzone on 4th and long.

A pulled-pin pigskin grenade explosion thrill ride in the tropics is “The Last Match’s” hard-hitting American football done the Italian way. Cauldron Films’ new Blu-ray release is the U.S. home video and worldwide debut from a new 4K restoration from the camera negative.  The AVC encoded, 1080p high-definition, BD50 presents the film in the original aspect ratio, the European widescreen 1.66:1.  There’s hardly anything to fault in this clean, sharp, diffused color saturated picture from a well-stored camera negative that has seemingly suffered no time or external wear and tear.  Grain appears naturally disseminating into a favorable detailed reproduction print with skin tones that are organic and don a nice sheen and rivulets of sweat when things get heated in football and in armed assault.  Tropical landscape remains focused in back and foregrounds, especially in instances of Giuseppe Ruzzolin’s (“Hitch-Hike,” “Firestarter”) mirror reflection shots, but not a ton of wide or long shots to take in the scope of the Caribbean battleground, limiting scenes to medium-to-closeups that crop the milieu quite a bit when you’re trying to sell a large-scale football bowl game or an ambiguous kakistocracy tropic nation.  The English language DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0 provides lossless fidelity with full range diffusing evenly through the dual-channel output, separating decisively the dialogue and the action.  With a majority of the cast native English speakers and having been filmed party in the U.S. and in the western hemisphere, ADR is not the main source of recorded dialogue with boom work providing and capturing the distinct voices and personalities of some of the more recognizable voice talent, such as Ernest Borgnine and, especially, Charles Napier’s Kentuckian twang.  However, there’s quite a bit of hissing feedback sporadically throughout.  Action depth is a bit front loaded, naturally with any dual channel, with the explosions and gunfire that never quite hit the same distance markers but do excel in being robust where needed.  English SDH subtitles are available.  Cauldron conjures new and exclusive special features with an interview with special effects artist Roberto Ricci Blown Away, a minidoc about American actors in Italian cinema narrated and directed by Mike Malloy, Italian film aficionado Eugenio Ercolani provides a video essay Understanding the Cobra, a commentary by Italian exploitation critic Michael A. Martinez, an image gallery, and the film’s trailer.  Cauldron Films has continued to provide eye-catching artwork with reversible cover sheets and “The Last Match” is no exception with dual compositional illustrations of football players wielding AR15 rifles and bazookas, though I’m not so confident the illegal purchase of Island armory would be police issued AR15s and bazookas.  Just sayin’.  There are no other tangible supplements with this release.  The region free Blu-ray is not rated and has a 94-minute runtime.

Last Rites: An Italian film using big named American actors pitting an armed, American football-cladded, rescue team against a hostile and sinister island prison, creating “The Last Match’s” action extraction of hairbreadth escape and pulling it off!

“The Last Match” is Now on Blu-ray From Cauldron Films!

It’s Not Eezzee Being Evil! “The Hoarder” review!

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Ella suspects her handsome fiance is having an affair and strongly insists on breaking into his outer city storage unit to find proof. Ella’s felonious friend Molly tags along to aid in the break-in, but deep down in the basement level of EEZZEE storage, Ella and Molly release a terrifying secret that’s now running loose and causing a murderous campaign in the maze-like structure of the storage facility. Along with a handful of other unfortunate storage unit renters, Ella finds herself trapped in the facility’s after hours lockdown and in the bloody nightmare path of the Hoarder, who won’t stop seeking to stock his very own unique “collection” back in the belly of the dark basement.
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Writer-director Matt Winn’s sophomore feature film “The Hoarder” stars Mischa Barton of “The O.C.” fame and Barton portrays the seemingly suspicious and risk-taker Ella. Barton has been through a string of B-horror and other B-movie films that’s far from more of her previous popular works, yet seeing her name headline a film simply entitled “The Hoarder” feels unexplainably awkward. If you’re not familiar with Mischa Barton, Amy Smart (“Mirrors,” “The Butterfly Effect”) is another one of those relatively known actresses that hang onto the B-horror and Hollywood horror fringe line and not securely rooting a place amongst the two very different planes. But Barton is surrounded by a formidable B-movie cast or an ensemble of television actors to where they’ve received their popularity and recognition. “Prison Break’s” Robert Knepper, “The Tudors” Charlotte Salt, and “The Fall’s” Valene Kane co-star alongside Barton. However, Andrew Buckley, as the EEZZEE storage unit manager, is the most entertaining and interesting character with his non-threatening physique, his deadpan comedy, and sheer intensity when provoked. Even though they’re storage units of talent, collectively the actors don’t play well off each other and don’t share the situation as a whole. Rather, each character tries to go into their own personal demons and not into the evil their neck deep at the current moment.
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The Matt Winn script, co-written by Chris Denne and James Handel, and direction are well-paced for timing, are attentively consuming from the beginning to end, and are structured soundly to withstand a pretty good and unexpected finale twist. However, the script doesn’t come without its flaws, developing plot holes through the duration that are not explained well enough to extinguish post-viewing questions. Also, a few of the minor characters needed their story to be explored more to give them more worth. I wanted to care more about the character Willow and her drug addiction and the character Vince and his undisclosed corrupt cop business, but couldn’t quite grasp their backstories and their motivations, leaving Willow and Vince as inessential dust particulars instead of full-bodied hair ball critters that one can’t help by notice. The finale successfully satisfies the B-Horror mold that puts that welcoming final stake into “The Hoarder” of ever being a thought of a Hollywood production. And that’s a solid quality to obtain.
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I did expect more of a gory display from special effects supervisor Scott McIntyre. While whatever effects made the film’s final cut were well executed, such as mouths being sewn or stapled shut, much of McIntyre’s talent wasn’t exhibited or perhaps even used. With big time feature credits such as “Enemy at the Gates,” “Mindhunters,” and a more under the radar credit in the more recent “Cockneys Vs Zombies,” “The Hoarder” could have been far more gruesome and unpleasant in a tasteful expo. Aside from the squandering of McIntyre’s talents, the Eben Bolter’s dull cinematography on a well made storage unit set and the Andrew Pearce and Xavier Russell repetitive and cheap soundtrack score blandly conveys menacing “The Hoarder” rightfully deserves.
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RLJ Entertainment adds to their collection with the not rated DVD release of “The Hoarder.” Beneath the embossed DVD sleeve and casing, the DVD video quality is comprised of a sleek 2.40:1 widescreen presentation with a Dolby Digital 5.1 track. No flaws detected in either audio or video during the 86 minute runtime. Dialogue, soundtrack, and ambient tracks were appropriately balanced and clear and the video quality is sharp with natural skin tones and prevalent ominous yellow and blue hues. The only bonus feature is “The Making of The Hoarder” which consists of the cast and crew reliving their experience on set and how the feature became to be developed. Overall, “The Hoarder” concept has a strong story attraction, but the resulting film can’t seem to fully shake the teeter-totting performances and the sizable plot holes that water down the finer portions of the film.