To Do EVIL or To Do Good? “Men of War” reviewed! (MVD Visual / Blu-ray)

“Men of War” are Men now in High Def! See It Here!

Living like a pauper on the frozen street of a snow Chicago, ex-special forces soldier Nick Gunar has no desire to return to his former life, but when he’s referred a mercenary job to visit an island off the South China sea, he’s assured by the man that referred him, his fatherlike former colonial, that there will be no bloodshed in his all for show and intimidation situation that needs more finesse than firepower.  His mission is to assemble a team and negotiate with armed persuasion to get the unwilling, combative locals to sign over the rights to a mineral rich underground cave system.   Gunar’s expected confrontation turns out to be a small village of unarmed men, women, and children, peacefully refusing to sign over their land for excavational exploitation of their ancestral home.  While Gunar weighs his morality, a second team lead by Gunar’s more ruthless brother-in-arms, Keefer, sets to make sure the job is completed one way or another. 

Set off the coast of Thailand, “Men of War” is the 1994 U.S. mercenary action film that induces the ethics and morality question of armed-to-the-teeth hired guns against a small village of mostly helpless residents going to sit with an honorable conscious.  Perry Lang, actor in such films as “Teen Lust,” “The Hearse,” and “Alligator” who then turned director in the early 90s, helmed his sophomore picture after directing Catherine O’Hara in “Little Vegas” four years prior.  “Men of War,” which had a working title of “A Safe Place,” is penned by a trifecta of writers in “The Howling’s” John Sayles, “Demon Knight’s” Ethan Reiff, and Reiff’s longtime screenwriting partner Cyrus Voris.  Seasoned writers and an upcoming director garnered studio funds by Moshe Diamant and Stan Rogow to take a chance on the abroad militant-action subgenre that was dwindling at the time of the mid-90s.  Mark Darmon Productions Worldwide, in association with Grandview Avenue Pictures, served as coproduction studios with Arthur Goldblatt, Andrew Pfeffer, and David C. Anderson producing.

The big name that attracted financial support and give the title a boost was Dolph Lundgren who, at that time, was one of the biggest action stars of the late 80s into the 90s with “Rocky IV,” “Masters of the Universe,” “The Punisher,” and “Universal Soldier” all under his 6’ 3” Swedish, muscular frame topped with blonde haired and gentle blue-eyes.  Lundgren tackles his next role as conflicted mercenary looking to get out of the game all together as former special forces soldier Nick Gunar.  Perhaps one of the more complex roles Lundgren has portrayed in his career, Gunar fights the uphill battle of a pressurized existence that always leads him back to what he does best, being a soldier of fortune.  Yet, the well-trained combatant’s heart has softened and changed to not be an elite killer anymore and his new mission, assigned to him by venture capitalist Lyle (Perry Lang) and Warren (Thomas Gibson, “Eyes Wide Shut”) and referred by Colonial Merrick (a true typecasted bad guy in Kevin Tighe of “K-9”), will put his trained tactics and newfound compassion to the test.  However, for obvious cinematic reasons, things will not go as smooth as Gunar obliviously hopes with nudges from a diversely skilled team of assembled gung-ho comrades, deceived by those he’s trusted, and antagonized vehemently by an unstable, former fellow special forces brother-in-arms Keefer, played by one of my favorite Aussie actors, the late Trevor Goddard (“Mortal Kombat,” “Deep Rising”).  Lundgren usually brings with his large and imposing self to the table with every role he slips into, but Gunar feels different partly because of two very different reasons:  Gunar lacks defining confidence and maintains the fierce façade to keep the assignment afloat under the aforesaid pressures, but Lundgren doesn’t look physically all there as he appears hunched over for a better part of downtime scenes.  “Jurassic Park’s” B.D. Wong plays the village wisecracking’ spokesperson Po who welcome Gunar and his team’s arrival with respect and with a little humor.  Wong’s cavalier style for Po works to cut tension and to showcase the natives as peaceful and unassuming but steadfast in their beliefs.  “Embrace of the Vampire’s” Charlotte Lewis, as Loki the the native island single mother and love interest to Lundgren, is the second credit name of the film yet has perhaps the shortest screen time of all the characters that fill out “Men of War” with Tony Denison (“Wild Things 2”), Tommy “Tiny” Lister Jr. (“The Fifth Element”), Thomas Wright (“Tales from the Hood”), Tim Guinee (“Vampires”), Don Harvey (“The Relic”), and Catherine Bell.

Cast ensemble of familiar faces makes “Men of War” easier to digest when considering the threadbare sensical plot.  If taking the trouble to hire mercenaries to negotiate the signature surrender of property, the company investors might as well have used extreme force instead of finesse as the good Colonial Merrick suggests to Gunar.  “Men of War’s” setup is not very sexy to establish a radical rational to plot against the native denizens, fast-forwarding and skirting through the first act’s purposed goal and recruitment of characters is sullied by that dilution of plot device.  The recruiting montage is what hurts the most that shows Gunar travelling across the globe to handpick past acquaintances for his team, but the history markers are not in place to establish characters behaviors, past or present undercurrents, or anything that really ties them together or tears them apart which eventually happens when a line in the sand is drawn.  Even Keefer’s neglected volatile bad juvenile behavior is crucified by zero backstory substance.  “Men of War” bravely relies on the future to flourish and does so quite well by creating a dichotomy between a paid duty and a moral deed, especially when falling in love with a native girl is involved.  Explosions, bullets, and various kinds of melee skirmishes rock the story’s intended searching for inner peace theme and there’s no shortage or pulled punches with the pyrotechnics or squib-popping gunplay.  Perry Lang and producers make no qualms about the product their peddling by offering a detonating spectacle on a wafer-thin plot to razzle-dazzle on the silver screen and that’s okay. 

Coming in as title number 62 on the MVD Rewind Collection, a boutique banner for MVD Visual, is “Men on War” on a new Blu-ray release that’s an AVC encoded BD50, presented in a widescreen 2.35:1 aspect ratio and high-definition 1080p. This one looks pretty darn good for a 2K scan of a well-kept 35mm film. Picture retention shows just how clean as a whistle it is with no sign of a damaged original print. There also appears to be no issues with compression, such as banding or macroblocking, to gunk of visuals in what is a clean sweep of texturized objects from skin to fabric, even the island jungle setting has a rich green and a variety of sedimentary rock and soil to a real organic coloring that creates the tropical paradise around as seen on vacation brochures. When cinematographer Rohn Schmidt (“The Mist”) does go for more aesthetic, “Men of War” turns into panoramic escapism brilliant with warm colors and a composition too impressive for the likes of a picture teetering between being a B- and A-lister. The English language dialogue comes with two lossless audio options: A DTS-HD 5.1 surround sound and a LPCM 2.0. An explosive film requires free range fidelity and “Men of War” and its sound design package prowls the ambit of discharging and cannonading that hit fast and hard. Dialogue runs through-and-through clean and clear without interrupt or folly against it, as well as being layered properly to have heavy volley suppress the dialogue to a muffled scream. The score of Gerald Gouriet (“Grand Tour: Disaster in Time”) has a pretense of a militaristic stanza that wonders into an idealistic romance choon which downgrades to a pedestrian level at times but there’s also a hint, or even possibly sampling, of Alan Silvestri lurking in the mix from the score of “Predator” when Lundgren stealthily storm the beach with his team. A Spanish 2.0 stereo is available and English and Spanish subtitles are available for toggle. For the MVD release, Perry Lang provides a new, from his living room introduction. The remainder of the special features are archival pieces, such as An Unsafe Place: Making Men of War, a brief doc with Dolph Lungren enthusiast Jérémie Damoiseau going over the genesis of the film, raw footage and dailies from the feature, a photo gallery, and the theatrical trailer. If looking for tangible collectibles, you’re in luck because, like most of the MVD Rewind Collection catalogue, “Men of War” comes with a cardboard O-slipcover with printed faux VHS rental stickers and a mini folded poster of the slipcover image tucked inside. The clear Amaray Blu-ray mirrors of slipcover and has a reversible composition. Region free with a 103-minute runtime, the MVD release is not rated.

Last Rites: An ensemble of colorful characters spearheaded by the towering Dolph Lundgren and shot in the serenity beaches of Thailand lends “Men of War” to be a luxury good of the cinematic armament rhubarb and the presentational transfer by MVD, on their Rewind Collection, breathes fresh and favorable for a solid screening of campy chaos.

“Men of War” are Men now in High Def! See It Here!

Evil Medical Technicians. “Old 37” review!

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Under the sadistic thumb of their ruthless father, two physically and mentally abused brothers as children follow in their father’s footsteps in adulthood, falsely portraying to be EMT’s in old ambulance 37 and slaughtering those who desperately need medical attention on an infamous and isolated stretch of road. When the brothers’ loving mother becomes the victim of a hit and run by a group of young teens, the brothers’ quest to kill gets personal. Unbeknownst to them as the brothers’ targeted prey, the arrogant and rowdy teens live their complex and immature lives, overflowing with trivial matters such as fast cars, dating, and cosmetic surgeries.
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“Old 37” (aka “Ambulance 37” or aka “Death Call”) wrecks before reaching the finish line. Bittersweetly, the story by Paul Travers, written also by Paul Travers and Joe Landes, is an interesting concept of life savers taking lives and, interestingly enough, a similar idea was in the news recently where a supposed unmarked cop cart pulls over young women, but the driver is actually a cunning rapist instead of an actual officer of the law. “Old 37” is essentially art mimicking real life.  We feel safe when an emergency civil servant or agent is present or tells us not to worry, as exhibited in “Old 37.”  “Don’t worry, I’m a paramedic,” says one of the demented brothers.
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“Old 37” greatly has much going for the Three Point Capital funded movie.  Three Point Capital has backed many other notable films such as “Insidious:  Chapter 2,” “Nightcrawler,” and Kevin Smith’s “Red State.”  Partnered up with Joe Dante’s “Burying the Ex’s” post-production company Siren Digital, the two companies had the mucho dinero to sleekly design, which it does, and to hire a moderately formidable cast, which they do.  Kane Hodder and Bill Moseley headline, being the pair of horror icons forced to be reckoned with, and slide into the shoes of the two ambulance driving, bloodthirsty brothers, intercepting 911 calls via their scanner for victims.  Hodder hasn’t lost that Jason Voorhees gait and menacing body motions and Moseley, without even trying, has the uncanny ability to sinister up an entertaining and terrifying persona. Together on screen, a powerhouse of an unimaginable magnitude as they are, hands down, the highlight of “Old 37.”
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With high-end production value and two of probably the most prolific names in horror attached, what could go wrong? Well, the first wrong is “Old 37” is mostly an unfunny teen comedy rather than a horror movie. It’s more “She’s All That,” than “Scream.” It’s more “American Pie,” than “I Know What You Did Last Summer.” It’s more “10 Things I Hate About You,” than…you get the picture. Horror didn’t surface into full eligibility until about the last 20 minutes with the archetypical final girl chase finale and even then was the horror story still underdeveloped. The teen characters’s lives are too complex as they take over the story, including one awkward, self-loathing lead character, Samantha, eager to fit in (even though she does), eager to look beautiful (which she already does), and eager to obtain breast augmentation (though she doesn’t need them). The breast enhancement scenes drastically change the direction of the film, throwing me for a serious loop for various reasons: Samantha gets the okay right away when she asks her mother for new breasts, she gets new breasts in a matter of days, and she isn’t sore or in pain directly after receiving them. Time is an illusion when two the contrasts display Samantha throughout going forward from the entire beginning to end process for new flesh pillows while one of her crude friends gets murdered. Something doesn’t add up.
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Special effects guy Pete Gerner and his talented crew do blood spattering justice with the sanguinary written murders and while I feel the brutality and the blood is amongst the film’s aurora, the gooey gory scenes are quickly edited, taking away the time to where we can’t fully appreciate, fully engulf, nor fully digest the “I Sell The Dead” Gerner effects. The final nail in the coffin is director Alan Smithee. If you Google Alan Smithee, results will show that Alan Smithee is a pseudonym used by directors who want to disown a project. Christian Winters removed his name from “Old 37” because he thought his control over the film wasn’t his anymore. And that’s fairly accurate as “Old 37” seems and feels incomplete, much like Rob Schmidt’s 2011 unfinished debacle “Bad Meat,” directed under his pseudonym Lulu Jarmen, and just like “Bad Meat,” “Old 37” has the potential, the substance, and the talent to what could have been a solid horror narrative.

Overall, “Old 37” has the financial backing, has some serious blood that made the cut, has a great soundtrack assortment, and has motherfuckin’ Bill Moseley and Kane Hodder. What the disowned film lacks is a well-written narrative, contains poorly written and idiotic teenage characters, and needs a director with an eye for direction instead of a producer with greedy big pockets. “Old 37,” under the name “Death Call,” will be hitting DVD shelves from UK distributor High Fliers films. If you’re a fan of Hodder and Moseley, but don’t expect a typical horror movie as this film goes through multiple genre transitions and doesn’t settle just on one at any point. There is one delicate scene of Olivia Alexander which I’m sure will be pleasing to any viewer.

Evil That Is Hard to Swallow. Bad Meat review!

badmeatNot quite sure I want to review Bad Meat. Analyzing a project that never saw completion is like trying to teach terminally ill 3 year old how to manage a bank account. As I do a little more back ground research on Bad Meat, I’ve come across some very interesting and almost discouraging tidbits about the history behind Bad Meat. First off, the director is named Lulu Jarmen. Right now, you might be asking yourself who the hell is Lulu Jarmen and what else has she directed? Some people think Jarmen took over the project from Rob Schmidt, the director behind the inbred cannibal movie Wrong Turn and who promised fans that Dead Meat would be the most vile move ever seen quoted in 2011. However, many other people believe that Lulu Jarmen is a pseudo-name for Rob Schmidt because of how embarrassedly bad Bad Meat turned out financially and plot-wise.

Six troubled youths are sent to the isolated Camp Hardway under the cruel thumb of an hitler-esque figure and perverse, sadistic counselors. When the camp cook feeds the counselors rotten meat, the counselors transform into raging, flesh eating psychopaths.

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The premise is a shortcoming much like the ending of Dead Meat. Literally, the film just ran out of money from Capital films and immediately shut down production half way through the movie. Is it a good thing that perhaps Schmidt (or Jarmen) shot the movie from first sequence? One would think. Yet, Dead Meat ends right at the middle of the movie and in the midst of an attack none-the-less. The characters’ fates, the six teenage renegades, are left unexplained by an open ended, most likely reshot, ending that has left us to conjure up our own imagination to seek an ending to Dead Meat.

Dead Meat from the beginning had no promise even though fun to watch. The perversity is awkward, the fluids flow in chunky green vomit and think warm red blood, and the dialogue is as colorful as all the spectrums of the rainbow. The first 82-83, give or take, manages to at least make your time worth wild, but the last ten minutes are severely butchered with reshot with scenes of a severely burned (maybe?) survivor of the camp laying in a hospital bed and typing away on a bedside computer. Typing what? Yo no se. Most likely the story behind how this survivor came to be mangled and so horribly disfigured. These scenes, which are interjected into the original film, barely have any connections besides the name of the main character Tyler being thrown about by his apparent older brother who looks old enough to be his father.

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Dead Meat is not the “sickest move you’ll see this year.” Besides, I most likely would not even call it a full film. Intriguing, gross, and hilarious but a grand let down by Jarmen (or by Schmidt, who cares?). Any bit of Dead Meat’s success died with Capitol Films the production company. Revolver Entertainment’s pickup of Dead Meat would have rejuvenated life into this film, but instead arbitrary reshoots baffles and confuse.