Evil That Is Hard to Swallow. Bad Meat review!

badmeatNot quite sure I want to review Bad Meat. Analyzing a project that never saw completion is like trying to teach terminally ill 3 year old how to manage a bank account. As I do a little more back ground research on Bad Meat, I’ve come across some very interesting and almost discouraging tidbits about the history behind Bad Meat. First off, the director is named Lulu Jarmen. Right now, you might be asking yourself who the hell is Lulu Jarmen and what else has she directed? Some people think Jarmen took over the project from Rob Schmidt, the director behind the inbred cannibal movie Wrong Turn and who promised fans that Dead Meat would be the most vile move ever seen quoted in 2011. However, many other people believe that Lulu Jarmen is a pseudo-name for Rob Schmidt because of how embarrassedly bad Bad Meat turned out financially and plot-wise.

Six troubled youths are sent to the isolated Camp Hardway under the cruel thumb of an hitler-esque figure and perverse, sadistic counselors. When the camp cook feeds the counselors rotten meat, the counselors transform into raging, flesh eating psychopaths.

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The premise is a shortcoming much like the ending of Dead Meat. Literally, the film just ran out of money from Capital films and immediately shut down production half way through the movie. Is it a good thing that perhaps Schmidt (or Jarmen) shot the movie from first sequence? One would think. Yet, Dead Meat ends right at the middle of the movie and in the midst of an attack none-the-less. The characters’ fates, the six teenage renegades, are left unexplained by an open ended, most likely reshot, ending that has left us to conjure up our own imagination to seek an ending to Dead Meat.

Dead Meat from the beginning had no promise even though fun to watch. The perversity is awkward, the fluids flow in chunky green vomit and think warm red blood, and the dialogue is as colorful as all the spectrums of the rainbow. The first 82-83, give or take, manages to at least make your time worth wild, but the last ten minutes are severely butchered with reshot with scenes of a severely burned (maybe?) survivor of the camp laying in a hospital bed and typing away on a bedside computer. Typing what? Yo no se. Most likely the story behind how this survivor came to be mangled and so horribly disfigured. These scenes, which are interjected into the original film, barely have any connections besides the name of the main character Tyler being thrown about by his apparent older brother who looks old enough to be his father.

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Dead Meat is not the “sickest move you’ll see this year.” Besides, I most likely would not even call it a full film. Intriguing, gross, and hilarious but a grand let down by Jarmen (or by Schmidt, who cares?). Any bit of Dead Meat’s success died with Capitol Films the production company. Revolver Entertainment’s pickup of Dead Meat would have rejuvenated life into this film, but instead arbitrary reshoots baffles and confuse.

Evil Mail Call! From Beyond the Iron Doors to eat Bad Meat with Sexsquatch!

This is what lazy Saturday mornings do to you. Instead of a video or a neat little gif image, I just made a collage in photoshop, but the job gets done.

Bad Meat - From Beyond (Second Sight) - Iron Doors - Sexsquatch

Bad Meat – From Beyond (Second Sight) – Iron Doors – Sexsquatch

You can read my thoughts on Iron Doors here.

I’m thinking Second Sight’s release of From Beyond is next!!!! I’ve seen it before and I have the MGM now OOP version, but I still love the movie and can’t wait to view it again.

Evil LIVES in the Shadows! Midnight Son review!

midnight son3What really makes the hair bristles stand straight up on my arm is a really obscure and overlooked vampire movie.  Not because I’m savagely frightened by the content, but because those films that don’t make the theater cut or have a promotional parade across the internet just get the shaft and my heart breaks when the thought occurs to me that I never would have come across such a movie if I wasn’t such a die hard horror enthusiast.  My review tonight is about one of those overlooked, passed on the rental shelves, not selected at the Redbox movies called Midnight Son.

A lonely night security guard named Jacob has a rare condition in which his skin literally burns when exposed to sunlight.  Jacob also can’t quench his hunger with any food with the exception of fresh human blood.  The doctors tell him his condition is Anemia due his malnutrition, but Jacob dreads his ailment to something more dark.  When he falls for a pretty vendor girl Mary, his condition kicks into overdrive and drives his cravings to an all new heights causing blackouts, terrible dreams, demonized eyes and a irresistible craving for blood.  Before Jacob realizes that what his newfound symptoms are really about, he’s already committed dastardly deeds that will change his once dull and lonely. life.

The subtly of the film helps draw me into Jacob’s loneliness and awkwardness.  His role in Midnight Son comes off as a young man’s journey of self discovery and that discovery is his transition into becoming a creature of the night – a vampire.  Much of Jacob’s backstory is omitted from us with only a picture of him as a young boy with a cast on his arm is revealed.  The cast represents his lifelong ailment of not being able to withstand the UV rays of the sun.  Other than that image of Jacob, we know of no father, mother, siblings, or childhood home for that matter of Jacob’s past.  His background is as mysterious as his condition, but Tracey Walter, legendary sidekick actor (Batman, Conan The Destroyer), hints at his metamorphosis with the epiphany statement, “like caterpillar turning into a butterfly.”  My main question is is Jacob really transitioning or is he just now realizing, after all these years, the vampire qualities?  He tries to confirm his suspicions by placing a makeshift cross on his forehead wondering if he’ll scold him – he retrieved the idea from Stephen Geoffry’s Evil Ed character in Fright Night.  A good reference to use!  However, Jacob is no Evil Ed and not even close.  There are no extended canines, his reflection still reflects, and he can’t turn into a fierce winged blood sucking creature.  There is no coffin to be had here.  Midnight Son resembles similar movies like George Romero’s Martin or Larry Fessenden’s Habit where the idea of the vampire is so instilled in the character’s mind that is hard to believe the character is not a vampire, but Jacob is the real McCoy and that proves itself amongst the other characters we encounter – Mary and Marcus.

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Mary becomes Jacob’s love interest.  Their meeting happens by chance and no vampire allure was against her free will or that of we know, but Mary has her own vices.  She is also a night owl who likes to party in more ways than one – long party entrance lines and long lines of coke.  Mary vices are overshadowed by her feelings of endearment toward Jacob; she wants to take of him to perhaps give her purpose in life where she won’t have to vendor lollipops outside the local bar (this is where they met).  Jacob realizes how slammin’ Mary’s body is and how much affection she displays him.  Director Scott Lebercht could have explored this more and given more of a reason why Mary falls for an awkward, nocturnal security guard who thwarts not one, not two, but three of her advances to rock his nosferatu world.  Perhaps Lebercht wanted to show that no matter the misshaped character, there will always be someone out there in the world looking for a hardship case to take care of.

Now even though Mary has a fantastic body and a cute overbite (don’t ask), Marcus is quite the interesting character.  This thug sells drugs and blood out back besides the biohazard dumpsters of the hospital where he works – “everybody has their thing,” he says and it’s true that everybody has their thing, their vice, their habit, their overall weird hobby.  Marcus exploits other people’s addictions and makes a criminal living doing it as a side job, but when Marcus can’t shake Jacob’s relentless need for blood, Marcus’s thuggish bite pushes and shoves an object that will literally bite him back.  Jacob’s antagonist is Marcus because after their confrontation, they become one and the same.

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The best scene in the entire movie is the last.  The scene brings the movie’s rating “contains strong gory images” to light however still tame I think the scene might be, but at least we get some sort of blood satisfaction and I love how the characters embrace and bask in their enlightened stages which begs to question – is this the beginning to the end of humanity once a reluctant embraces their true self?  I’d like to see a follow up to Lebercht film and, as a side note, on my edition of Midnight Son – provided by Eureka Entertainment Monster Pictures division (thank you!) – states this film is from the director of The Blair Witch Project, but I don’t see Lebercht’s name connected to The Blair Witch Project.  Am I missing some key information here?  If you want the Monster Picture’s edition – being released February 11th – instead of the Image Entertainment’s edition, you’ll need a region free player as Monster PIctures is based in the UK.  However, I wouldn’t like something little like crossing the Atlantic stop you from seeing Midnight Son!

On the Evil Chopping Block! Midnight Son (2011)

Monster Pictures was gracious enough to send me a copy of their latest release Midnight Son!  This is a UK release and, luckily, I have a cheap region free player.  Directed by Scot Lebercht (The Blair Witch Project), I’m interested to see how this film plays out as a “lonely young security guard Jacob (Zak Kilberg) has a terrible secret.  He can’t stand the sun, he rarely goes outside, and lately his unquenchable hunger can only be tamed by one thing: fresh blood.  When he hits it off with pretty young Mary (Maya Parish) who has some issues of her own, his craving kicks into overdrive as his monstrous inner demon beings to come out… and nothing will ever be the same again.”

Sounds like it could be a winner and so far, it has Tracey Walter in it!  Good enough start.  Review will come shortly after.

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Talk about your Evil heart! Night of the Tentacles video review!

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Check out my video review for the 2013 Dustin Mills movie Night of the Tentacles!  An Its Bloggin’ Evil first in reviews!