Evil Turns Frat Boys into Bloody Greek Yogurt! “Dude Bro Party Massacre III” reviewed!

Posted by Steven Lewis on September 14, 2019

Brock Chirino, a survivor after tragedy strikes twice by a serial killer named Motherface who stalked and killed his campus fraternity brothers of DELTA BI THETA, is found gruesomely hung from a flagpole with his guts strewn tightly around his neck. Brock’s twin brother, Brent, wants answers and begins pledging with the troublemaking and cursed fraternity that is on the verge of having another Motherface encounter, beginning with the death of his popular twin. Sinister powers to be send the remaining DELTA BI THETA brothers to an isolated and notorious lake house where one-by-one, beer-by-beer, each brother is hunted down with their own personal fears invoked by the serial killer and lethally weaponized against them.

More enjoyable than a cheap case of beer pong beer is the trope-after-trope satirical genre upheaval in “Dude Bro Party Massacre III” from first time feature film directors Tomm Jacobson, Michael Rouusselet, and Jon Salmon with a screenplay penned by lead actor Alec Owen along with contributions from the directors and Ben Gigli, Brian Firenzi, Joey Scoma, Michael Peter, Mike James, and Timothy Ciancio. Usually with a conglomerate of writers and directors attached to a single project, the resulting work lacks coherency as a mesh of styles create a havoc bearing exhibition for the viewer whose head is about to explode and ready to give up on trying to make sense of disastrous, multi-motivational storyline, but these particular guys are a part of an internet comedy troupe the under 5-Second Films production company, established in their good ole college days circa 2005 to 2008, and have long list of meaningless, yet funny, credits in sketch comedy that include Uproxx Video and Funsploitation. The filmmakers’ “Dude Bro Party Massacre III” is the supposed third film in a trilogy of unspeakable comedic terror without really having a first film or its sequel as the gag, but rather recap, ingeniously and in a squeamishly gory fashion, a fast-paced and well thought out montage of series of events from the “first two” Dude Bro Party Massacres.

The 5-Second Film troupe can be synonymous with the guys of Broken Lizard, but in a slightly tweaked version that’s sure to be piss your pants funny and keep eyeballs glued to their 103 minutes of beer, hazing, and blood. Kicking it off in a dual role is Alec Owen as Brock and Brent Chirino; one super cool bro and the other just a regular cool bro, share a meaningful twin experience that keeps both characters in the mix. Owen dons daft well, but do so the slew of other in his close knit entourage of Paul Prado, Ben Gigli, Joey Scoma, Brian Firenzi, Michael Rousselet, Jon Salmon, and Kelsey Gunn. Their well-oiled machine of timing, exuberance, and expressions, from years of collaboration, make them a juggernaut in their field, leveling with, or even just beating out, the Broken Lizard team for best satire horror film. To top things off, the eclectic special guest stars add that little something, a little spiked cream in the dark, bold, Columbian coffee if you will, of unprofessionalism that just makes “Dude Bro Party Massacre III” a go to rental (or purchase) on a movie and chill night. Did you ever think you’d see Larry King in a horror movie? Yeah, that Larry King who made millions as a late night talk radio host said, “Star in a horror movie? Sure, why the hell not?” Though brief, King’s appearance is welcoming gory garnish and other guest stars whoopee in the same fate, including esteemed porn actress, the queen of sex, Nina Hartley, in an unusual non-sexual role, rock performer and producer Andrew W.K., Tommy Wiseau collaborator Greg Sestero, and my fellow Portsmouth, Virginian native, Mr. Patton Oswalt in another brilliant comedic performance. Yes, I’m dead serious, bro. Plus, Olivia Taylor Dudley as Motherface equals a repeat performance; perhaps for “Dude Bro Party Massacre IV???”

“Dude Bro Massacre III” is a 100% intentional caricature of the 1980s slasher genre, going against the well established and solid bedrock that’s bred horror fans for generations, and rocking the sacred structure to the core that not only will be admired by hardcore horror fans, but also not objectionable in its goofiness those said fans and will sufficiently gaudy for the causal popcorn moviegoer. Those in the former will recognize that tropes vitalize without tiring out the dude bro party, such as with a snarky, masked killer returning from the grave, twice, whose a bit of a mash up of Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger, the Final Girl notion is reversed to a Final Boy left to tell the ostentatious tale, and extravagant and elaborate deaths ultimately become a living, breathing entity to inspirit. Plus, backstories and character tangents diversify the story perpetuation enough to not over-saturated solely on DELTA BI THETA reckoning. In all honesty, the gore is the star and if gore was the object of wealth, “Dude Bro Massacre III” would be an affluent God with blood splatter on a divinity level.

5-Second Films and Snoot Entertainment release the Not Rated, 2015 satirical horror, “Dude Bro Party Massacre III” onto DVD home video distributed by MVDVisual. Presented as the only surviving VHS copy of a dismissed and banned film by some guy recording a television airing over his childhood memories, a 4:3 aspect ratio continues to sell the artificial, retrograded video nasty of obscurity. Even the mock cut in faux commercials are a nice touch that reminded me a little bit of John Ritter’s “Stay Tuned.” One thing that’s missing was the presence of digital noise as the image was really too vibrant and clean to be a super VHS or any other kind of SOV. The English language 2.0 audio track is clean with prominent dialogue and hefty amount of ambient blood gushing, splashing, exploding, etc. Bonus features aren’t impressive with only audio commentary available through the static menu, but Devon Whitehead, whose cover arts with Scream Factory releases are beyond ridiculous, lends his talents here with another intrinsic, manic storytelling work of art. A little late to the game with this review for a film from 2015, but “Dude Bro Party Massacre III” is getting a re-release and is worth the time pledging oneself to again and again with a high level rewind satisfaction rate.

Don’t Let A Bro See It Alone! Available at Amazon.com

Insemination EVILS in “Bigfoot: Blood Trap” reviewed!

Posted by Steven Lewis on September 10, 2019

The folkloric Bigfoot goes bananas on one man’s family, killing his wife and young daughter before leaving him crippled. Years later, the same beast rips the guts out of two tattooed women filming a girl-on-girl romp in the middle of the woods after mistakingly gunning down Littlefoot with their accompanying high powered rifles. Meanwhile, gun store owner, Shannon, receives news that’s she’s inherited land from her estranged, molesting grandfather that could be worth a small fortune. Before opting to sell the land, Shannon, her brother Billy, and her two uncles, Bob and Chester, aim to have a good old fashion hunt, but are viciously attacked by the monster. Barely surviving the ordeal, they managed to capture the creature with a tranquilizer gun and phone in an eccentric cryptozoologist, Dr. Corman, who presents a radical proposition: To prove his missing link genome theory, he wants to conclude that Bigfoot can, in fact, inseminate a human female to produce an offspring. Though crazed and inhumane, the wild idea could bring in loads of capital from all sorts of scientific angles, but the greedy captors soon learn that’ll it’ll take more than a pretty face to get the legendary and mysterious Bigfoot into the proper mood for lovemaking!

With the exception of a few films, the lesser known Sasquatchsploitation genre has been more schlocky exploitation than of Bigfoot doing some serious rampaging. Critics from around all outlets, small and big, have mercilessly dumped upon the hairy big fella, calling the flicks stinky as much as reeking Bigfoot in it’s natural habitat. Unfortunately, “Bigfoot: Blood Trap” sustains the same fodder and, perhaps, evens lowers the bar even further. Despite claims of the satirical motivations and plenty passion for the project, the John Orrichio directed film released in 2017 is a bit of giant mess. The New Jersey based Orrichio (“Paranormal Captivity”) collaborates with Edward X. Young, who was thrusted into scandalous controversy with this film as he was then an active candidate for a member on the New Township Board of Education. Safe to say, a storyline involving young women being kidnapped for rape and insemination didn’t go over well with parents, but Young and Orrichio sallied-forth to bring us a plot about an abomination from the abominable.

As aforementioned, Edward X. Young steps into the role of a creepy cryptologist named Dr. Corman whose obsessed with impregnating an abducted, innocent young women. With extensive credits in no-budget horror, including “Mold!” and themed holiday slasher “Easter Sunday,” Young is highly enthusiastic about his part, being one of the main fixtures of the overhauled production, evening tackling the special effects rich with blood soaked intestines. Another lasting cast member is “The Soulless” actor John McCormack as uncle Chester. Rustic as as he is rusty, McCormack bulldozers through his lines, never letting emotions and inflections carry his performance to fruition. Playing Chester’s nephew, Billy, is “Bloody Christmas’s” Dennis Carter Jr. With turbo energy and a high, if not zany, voice, Carter blossoms more of the satire from hiding, especially when contrasted against his sister, a gun-toting, possessive, money grubber named Shannon played by Chrissy Laboy (“Long Island Serial Killer”). Young, McCormack, Laboy, and Carter are the staple four that have the most scenes, but since the production spanned over the course of years, main characters came and went like yesterday’s bagel, introducing other characters into the fold from a supporting cast that included K.J. Hopkins (“Witches Blood”), Richard Szulborski (“Paranormal Captivity”), Gregory Stokes, and John D. Harris Jr.

As much as one can open their mind to all types of movies, across a vast spectrum of genres, sitting through “Bigfoot: Blood Trap” tested patience, will, and interests. The over-the-top gore, with strewn organs being, sometimes awfully blatantly, ripped from the bellies of Bigfoot victims did not turn heads away in disgust. The problem is more insidious with sloppy, shoddy technical gaffes with a brain seizing storyboard and choppy editing topping the lineup. Performances eek by without much scathing and one could even look past the joker in the “Trading Spaces” monkey suit passing as a vicious Bigfoot, but the lack post-production effort, especially with such a lengthy shoot, kinda says, “Hey! Let’s wrap this up! “Pronto!” and carry on with our lives without batting an eyelash in attempting at beautifying a hunk of ho-hum creature feature, but there is one positive thing about “Bigfoot: Blood Trap,” Orrichio manages to pull off 95 minutes in a sex with Bigfoot bonanza and I’m sure nobody else can claim that title.

“Bigfoot: Blood Trap” is released onto DVD home video courteous of Wild Eye Releasing on their Raw & Extreme label. The DVD is presented in a widescreen, 1.78:1 aspect ratio, that often looks stretched over a canvas with plenty of digital noise and low lighting woes. Colors look okay and same can be said for skin tones. There’s hardly any tinting so all, if not most, scenes are in natural lighting. Some lens cleaning wouldn’t hurt either on the drone for ariel shots. The English language stereo 2.0 lossy mix has hard stops when regarding quality. Swelling vocal tracks lack fidelity gusto and wander into the crackling territories often associated with poor mic placement or an unfinished track mix. Dialogue also comes and go from the forefront to the background. Bonus features include a production interviews, which are basically actors introducing themselves and being advocates for their characters. Also included is a segment entitled “Andy Girffith,” where little foot and Bigfoot reenact that rememberable son and father walk with a fishing rod with whistling that recognizable and catchy thematic tune. “Killing the Girls” is a true behind-the-scenes look into two of Bigfoot’s potential unwilling mates meeting their ends at the monstrous hands of the hairy beast; it’s a glimpse of Edward X. Young, wearing his special effects technician hat, gooey up the gore on the girls as the act out their best scream queen impersonations. Rounding out the extras is a music video and trailers. From the Wild Eye Raw & Extreme’s snarling, bloodied-teeth, Bigfoot faced DVD cover, high hopes created a false foundation leading into a John Orrichio’s Sasquatch breeding farm film! Yet, no matter how enthusiastic the cast, “Bigfoot: Blood Trap” unsavory independent charisma snared time that we’ll never get back into our precious lives ever again.

Own this Raw & Extreme film today!

The Only Way EVIL Would Go Out With a Virgin! “Double Date” review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on September 3, 2019

Recently dumped and severely panicked around women, the prospect of ever dating again seems like a long shot to Jim. Self-assured Alex sees the opposite for his best mate as a golden opportunity for him to get Jim laid before his 30th birthday. When Alex finally coerces and assists Jim on scoring a double date with two sisters, Jim can’t believe his stuttering awkwardness actually proved fruitful, but little do Jim and Alex know that the sisters, Kitty and Lulu, are out for blood. The sisters seek a virgin to sacrifice to bring their long deceased father back from the dead and to complete their trio-family once again at the expense of Jim’s involuntary celibate lifestyle. Night clubs, fast cars, and visits to the parents take the four through a series of dark and drug fueled misadventures and the unexpected moment of falling love that makes this double date one to die for!

First dates are always inherently frightening. The idea of being alone with a stranger, who you’re kind of attractive to and trying to impress, yet don’t really know a single thing about them, can be daunting, if not paralyzing. First date in a double date is supposed to ease that overwhelming fear and take the strain off from the lack of possible interest in the other person, but for director Benjamin Barfoot’s amusing horror-comedy, “Double Date,” all bets are off and all tensions are on edge when dating goal sights are deadly different. Danny Morgan pens a comedic gem in which he stars as the bumbling virgin, Jim, joining his long time collaborating partner, Barfoot, to complete their first feature film together. The British made and produced film gives glimpses of London’s fung shui through the pubs, clubs, and overall eclectic nightlife to the aristocratic mansion homes to the likes of “Downton Abbey” resulting in a slight blend of the past and present into a well-oiled story embodied with terror and fun.

Funny man Danny Morgan stars as the awkward and blundering Jim whose plagued with fumbling qualities around women that usually leaves him somewhere in the inner circle of the friend zone. Morgan brilliant showcases Jim’s stunting inadequacies that eventually come to flower while maintaining a solid naturally slapstick presence of self-deprecation that turns into a full-blown bull in a china shop. The scene with his parents and himself singing his birthday song in front Lulu in audience, while tripping on drugs, is cathartically enjoyable and a riot of inner laughter. Morgan’s joined by “Being Human” actor, Michael Socha, as Jim’s very good friend, but all talk confident friend, Alex. Alex is certainly the yang to Jim’s yin on screen and off screen as Morgan and Socha have a certifiably fresh dynamic that makes them very entertaining to digest. Socha brings a different kind of comical energy that compliments Morgan’s dry humor that diversifies the content. In fact, all the characters bring a little something different to the table, such as with the sisters, Kitty and Lulu, played respectively by Kelly Wenham (“Dracula: The Dark Prince”) and Georgia Groome (“The Cottage”). Training like an elite athlete, Wenham takes the role to heart being a dark and beautiful villain that’s inarguably alluring as she’s cold and deadly. The Cheshire born actress, whom hands down can be the next Megan Fox, sinks her teeth into the performance and excels in the physical role that’s showcases her range of talent. Then, there’s Georgie Groome as Lulu, the timid opposite of Kitty. Also known as the girlfriend of Harry Potter’s Rupert Grint, she nails being the one in the shadows, relinquishing control mostly to Wenham for most of the film, and then slowly build character confidence and strength.

“Double Date” is a great blend of horror and comedy. The climax has this satirical and retro quality about that seems unfitting, but is stitched carefully to fit without bursting and popping a seam (or scene?) to the point of overly obtrusive. Benjamin Barfoot also has a keen eye to capture the pivotal and incandescent moments that make scenarios have more an impact, whether that being a facial expression, an awkward dance, or any kind of verbal or action exchange between characters. Doesn’t hurt that Barfoot’s rapport with Danny Morgan is a relationship riding the same director-actor level plane, similar to the dynamics between Adam McKay and Will Ferrell, with a synonymous cerebral synergy that clicks well for the silver screen.

From the independent film company who delivered “The Man Who Killed Hitler and then the Bigfoot,” Sparky Pictures releases the Screen International/FrighFest awarding winning horror-comedy, “Double Date”, onto digital, DVD, and Blu-ray come September 9th in the United Kingdom. Unfortunately, an in-depth review of the video and audio specifications will not be covered as a BD screener disc was provided, but what can be said about the soundtrack, performed by GOAT, is pure primitive gold and the appearance by Big Narstie is equally solid. Bonus material, on this check disc, included an extensive behind-the-scenes, from conception to wrap, of Danny Morgan and Benjamin Barfoot’s roller-coasting adventure on getting their film made. There’s also a commentary with cast and crew, deleted scenes, photo gallery, and trailers. “Double Date” is a true black comedy and a whole lot of fun that should skyrocket filmmakers Danny Morgan and Benjamin Barfoot toward future endeavors as a rising, powerhouse duo, contending to be the next hit in the satirical category.