God Works in Miracles, Man Works in EVILs. “Immaculate” reviewed! (Neon / Blu-ray)

Mary Didn’t Have This Much Trouble. “Immaculate” on Blu-ray!

Devout American nun, Sister Cecilia, has been appointed a position in the Italian countryside, a historical convent where terminally ill nuns live in the sisterly comfort of hospice.  Feeling blessed for the opportunity to serve and her faith remaining second to none, the young nun believes she found her true calling and takes her devotional vows in the eyes of God and Jesus Christ, amongst other young nuns in confirmation.   During her training of changing out bedpans and beheading chickens for meals, an uneasiness washes over Cecilia ever since the night of her confirmation reception and being granted to behold one of the stakes that was impaled through the hand of Christ.  As if by miracle, an explanation suddenly and terrifyingly reveals itself not only to her complete shock but the entire convent when she’s discovered to be pregnant through immaculate conception.  As weeks turns to months, Cecilia is forced to focus on baby instead of chores but there’s something dark and malevolent happening behind the convent doors that result in her unable to leave the convent grounds, fellow outspoken nuns disappear, and one sister commits suicide.  The once blessed opportunity has turned into unimaginable terror with no way out. 

Sydney Sweeney is so hot right now.  With her provocative success on HBO’s take of youth and vices in “Euphoria” and a nihilistic teenage daughter in the same premium channel’s series, “The White Lotus, the now 26-year-old Washington state-born actress has also peppered her career with horror films, even at a childish age with her first appearance, a minor role, in a comedy-horror “ZMD:  Zombies of Mass Destruction” and continuing her fresh and new vocation with notable parts directed by notable directors, such as John Carpenter’s “The Ward” and Tibor Takács “Spiders,” that would subsequently offshoot into principal leads of less heeded, moderately successful thrillers when in adulthood with “Along Came the Devil,” “Dead Ant,” and “Nocturne.”  Her latest venture is one she became personally invested in, a modern-day nunsploitation titled “Immaculate,” reteaming Sweeney with her 2021 “The Voyeurs’” writer-director Michael Mohan at the helm of their latest collaborative effort.  Mohan, however, did not write the film with feature film newcomer Andrew Lobel taking the job that would take a decade to fruition once Sweeney, who auditioned for the role when she was 17 years old, made it her passion project to see it come to life  Alongside Sweeney producing is Ben Shafer, Riccardo Neri, Michael Heimler, David Bernard, Jonathan Davino, and Teddy Schwarzman with Neon distributing the Black Bear presentation of the Fifty-Fifty Films and Middle Child Films coproduction. 

Sweeney exacts the very definition of virginal innocence, a small-town girl with a miraculous backstory that nearly cost her her life.  As a sincerely devout Catholic in Sister Cecelia, Sweeney must shape up an intake of naivety that blinds her to the subtle sinisterism amassing around her.  To do that, a medley of personalities must dupe her, sway her, disparage her, and comfort her to keep the character balanced before the blindsiding shock that surprises her with a twisted misconception and exploitation of God theme. Heading up the mix of madness is the convent’s resident priest, Father Sal Tedeschi, played by Spanish actor Álvaro Morte, indoctrinating a warm welcome as a guise for advantageous deceptiveness, but for what, we yet don’t yet know.  The alarming setup pins Cecelia to the convent grounds, surrounded by equally unconscionable characters in an insistent Cardinal Franco Meroa (Giorgio Colangeli), a benignly sweet Mother Superior (Dora Romano), and a disparaging Sister Isabelle (Giulia Heathfield Di Renzi”), and with little options of escape, or even allies within the walls, Cecelia is truly alone against a rogue Catholic sect that seeks to resurrect Christ in an unconventional and unnatural way against Canon law.  Cecelia’s arc fully embraces the change through Sweeney’s rather transfigured understanding of the religious institution Cecelia devotes her life to and, in the same breath, the nun keeps with the organization’s traditional principles of God’s will and not man’s interference and must be the righteous hand of wrath.  “Immaculate’s” cast rounds out with Benedetta Porcaroli, Giampiero Judica, Giuseppe Lo Piccolo, and Simona Tabasco, who has a “White Lotus” connection with Sydney Sweeney.

If you’re like me and avoid most trailers, reviews, or spoilers to try and keep an unbiased opinion, you may be taken aback by “Immaculate’s” gargantuan twist that goes against everything you may know and believe about the Catholic Church’s dogma and principles.  Granted, several non-Catholics likely believe the Church is corrupt and with recent years’ newsworthy scandals, those Church cynics’ fire has had a continuous stream of fueling fodder.  “Immaculate” plays into the fear, pessimism, and beyond reproach suspicion by subverting religion as a false façade and integrates unlikely, go-against-the-grain coupled themes of genetics tampering, bypassing God, murdering in His name, and even exploiting the Catholic hierarchy with slivers of patriarchal governance over a woman’s body.  We get the latter from the very first opening sequence of Cecelia having just arrived in Italy and is brought before two custom officials who remark, in Italian in order for her now to understand, that her religious vocation to be obedience, impoverished, and chaste wastes her youthful beauty. Then again, “Immaculate” is not beautiful; it’s grotesque, perverted, and shocking and at the core, a purity that’s being sullied by deranged power and evil enlightenments.  Cecelia represents a beacon of hope in a maelstrom of immorality. 

Shudderingly intense and sordidly messed up, “Immaculate” arrives onto a Neon Blu-ray home release.  Presented in a widescreen, Univisium aspect ratio of 2:00:1, the AVC encoded, 1080p high-definition, feature is housed on a single-layered 25 gigabyte disc.  Curious the reason why Neon would choose a lower capacity for such a purposefully soft and dark videographic image that creates a solemn tone inside a harsh appearance of an unpronounced period piece, perhaps set around the 1960s-1970s judging by the wardrobe, suitcases, and other set dressings.  Not also to exclude the premature notions of genetic manipulations that have made giant modernized leaps in the contemporary day-and-age.  Even with emaciated encoded, “Immaculate” looks pretty good around skin tones and textures and not a tone of compression follies to report.  With darker images on lower capacities banding and blocking rear their ugliness but there’s not a tone of that here. Saturation reduction plays into the time period and mood and the specified range of grading is kept to a modestly warm yellow, greens, and reds surfacing above ever so slightly through thick shadows of inkier, key-lit or candle-lit frames and even making a miniscule presence in daylit moments, boarding classical noir on some occasions.  The English-Italian DTS-HD 5.1 Master Audio has lossless appeal that wriggles out clean atmospheric genre cues through the multiple, surrounding channels.  Creaky doors and floors, deep footsteps, cavernous echoing, all play into the ambience track’s gothic timbres.  Conversating dialogue mounts a clear fixed positioning that sharp and clean through Sweeney’s character’s slight Midwestern intonation to the heavily and broad Italian accents from native vernacular to second language English speakers.  A descriptive English 2.0 audio track is also available as well as optional English and Spanish subtitles for the primary track.  One reason “Immaculate” is on a BD25 is because of the only bonus feature available is a feature length commentary track with director Michael Mohan.  The physical side of the Neon release includes a slipcover with the same tones mentioned above with a pious looking Sydney Sweeney in habit and also covered stoically in blood from the collar down.  The backside of the slipcover scarcely has technical information which is pleasant to see the limited real estate being used for something else other than the nuts and bolts that should remain on the Blu-ray’s Amaray case.  Its slightly reminiscent of the way certain boutique labels design their limited slips.  However, what’s not reminiscent of boutique design is the same slipcover front and back image is used for the Blu-ray case too.  Inside is sparse with only the disc with a simple yet effective black background, red titled pressing.  Rated R for Strong and Bloody Violent Content Grisly Images, Nudity, and Some Language, the Neon release has a runtime of 89 minutes and is encoded for region A playback.

Last Rites: “Immaculate” is blessed be the fruit of present-day Nunsploitation themed with power trips that attempt to bypass God and the laws of nature. The finale powerfully depicts and deciphers the principles of one’s firm held faith under God’s will, and perhaps wrath, in its ugliest form.

Mary Didn’t Have This Much Trouble. “Immaculate” on Blu-ray!

Evil Thoughts: Out with the Old, In with the New?

MOH

Masters of horror. You know. Those legendary filmmakers that become iconic in our beloved genre. The monumental men who made history by evolving the monsters, killers, and madmen to the very monsters, killers, and madmen we see today on the big and small screen. These giants of horror are household names to ordinary film fans and Gods to those who dedicate their lives just to live in a moment in a very small portion of their foot heel shadow. You, reading this op-ed, know the very names of these directors without even me mentioning their names. For those who are virgin to horror, however,…

George A. Romero
John Carpenter
Wes Craven
Stuart Gordon
Tobe Hooper
Joe Dante
Clive Barker

The list could go on with more familiar names. Familiar. That seems like a term for old people now, like myself, the thirty-years of living on this planet. Why is ‘familiar’ now for the old fogies? For one, I don’t think much of the younger generation are aware, or even respect, the above list of names. And why should they? Because, secondly, those listed about have done squat in, I don’t know, how many years? Think about. The Masters of Horror are no longer producing any great horror films and there seems to be no clear cut answer to why. A couple of theories swirl in my clustered little mind.

Theory one
They’re old. Getting elderly is tough and when you’re youth runs dry, you’re energy goes right along with it. Take Romero for example. The man is 74 years old. Wes Craven is even older than Romero by one year. Could their old school imaginations keep a generation, doped up on ADD medication, entertained for more than 10 minutes. Much of today’s horror is about the blood and the tits and the “how scary you can make a CGI monster.” Creativity has gone out the window and I think that “Saw 7” and the soon to be fifth sequel to “Paranormal Activity” have proven just that.

Rhauer

Theory two
Old school horror has run out of ideas. Can you remember the last time Romero, Carpenter, Stuart has made a good movie? Romero’s last film was “Survival of the Dead” back in 2009 which flopped. Before that “Diary of the dead” and that was another flop. Since the turn of the century, the king of the zombies has only directed four films with Land of the Dead being the more successful. Take a look at “Halloween” director John Carpenter. “Halloween” is the highest grossing independent film ever, yet also in the last decade, nothing spectacular from Carpenter. His vision of “The Thing” is classic, his character Snake Plissken is iconic in “Escape from New York”, “Big Trouble in Little China” is timeless cut, but “The Ward” and “Ghost of Mars” have been absolute below the bar with audiences. This theory doesn’t exclude international directors because we can also examine, point in case, Italian director Dario Argento. Argento famous for his colorful, psychedelic intense films such as “Suspiria”, “Phenomena”, and “Don’t Torture the Duckling”, has been reduced to direct a “Dracula 3D” movie starring Rutger Hauer. Freaking RUTGER HAUER!?!? Don’t get me wrong, I love Rutger Hauer – “Blind Fury” and “The Hitcher” are some favorites – but you can’t have a strawberry haired Van Helsing. Maybe you can – I don’t know. Let’s not forget poor Wes Craven who can’t seem to get off the “Scream” franchise train and everything else he touches turns into a limp, floppy mess.

Now that we’ve gone over my theories, there lies another question to be discussed. Who are the NEW masters of horror? Today’s films rely on blood and guts and not so much suspense and story. Would Eli Roth be my first example of a more current master? His films seemed to be well criticized – “Cabin Fever” with a fresh 63% and “Hostel” with a fresh 61% respectively on Rotten tomatoes. Also, his latest project “The Green Inferno” held promise until it’s untimely indefinite on hold status declared a few weeks ago. Who else? Alexandre Aja? More shock than schlock but hasn’t really produced anything original as he’s banked on remakes – “The Hills Have Eyes”, “Piranha 2” – but with his breakthrough hit “High Tension” and his upcoming release “Horns” starring Daniel Radcliffe, we could be watching a master in the making.
dradcliffe
I want to hear from you. Who do you think will step in the shoes of a master? Lucky McKee? Adam Wingard? Let me hear your choices and your thoughts on these!

Coming Attractions: The Quiet Ones!

I gotta tell ya – I’m getting very excited about the upcoming supernatural horror film The Quiet Ones! I’m always down for a good demon/poltergeist film especially with Hammer Film Productions behind it and while I was not a total fan of Daniel Radcliffe’s The Woman in Black I thought the film was solid enough for a Hammer comeback. Plus, Let Me In was a decent remake too of the Swedish vampire film Let The Right One In.

The Quiet Ones has an unorthodox professor conducting an off campus experiment with his students. The experiment is to create a poltergeist by use of the human imagination. But when one of their subjects is pushed to edge of her sanity, the experimenters trigger a supernatural being that won’t let them go so quietly.

The film stars Jared Harris from Resident Evil: Apocalypse and The Ward. Check out the trailer and let me know what you think!