Tag Archives: tits

Spying on Evil! Closed Circuit Extreme review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on

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Daniele and Claudia suspect their missing friend Francesca is dead and was at the hands of a predator named David De Santis. Daniele, being an expert at audio and video electronics, and Claudia set up spy equipment inside De Santis’s home while at work. But when the two try to retrieve the recordings, trouble finds them just as it found Francesca and there is nowhere to hide in the same abode.
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First off, I don’t believe that Giorgio Amato film deservers a low rating on IMDB.com. Sure, there are a few flaws with the film that can’t go ignored, but no one can deny the realism of the story. An average man living an average life trapping unsuspecting young women in his average home for his own sexual and disgusting kicks of rape and murder. Sounds like something we hear about every year. For example, the Cleveland man who locked and chained up three young women for years and did ungodly things to them.
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“Closed Circuit Extreme” is shot as court evidence which is all find and dandy, but if the “video evidence” is suppose to give the film a realistic, creepy feel then why put in character profile pop-ups in during a freeze frame of each character? There couldn’t be more invented ways to explain who these people were and why they’re there? I Like the idea that the cameras were motioned activated. This eliminates the inactivity and any dull moments in a life of a serial killer. Who wants to see a guy sit on his couch and scratch his ass for five hours?
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Some of the character decisions were poor to give the film less credibility to the characters (such as Claudia’s decision to stay in the house after being discovered), but doesn’t necessarily take away from the story because suspense has been achieved in a film like this. Veteran Italian actor Stefano Fregni gives a chilling performance as serial killer De Santis. Lonely, child-like, over weight describes most of how we experience serial killers, but De Santis is smart and that makes for a dangerous character. No doubt was revealed by Fergni that he can put us into the life of a disturbed individual.
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Lastly, the Rome set film is majority all in English. Was Amato’s film targeting American audiences? Perhaps. I find that the film’s release is very timely with the coinciding information that has revealed the identity of England’s Jack the Ripper. That could be a good selling point for the film, maybe? To get back on topic – I rather have a film set in Rome and speak the native language or else the film loses some authenticity.

“Closed Circuit Extreme” lives up to it’s moniker of being extreme. If you’re not keen on kidnapping, rape, and gruesome axe wielding murder of young beautiful women, then this is certainly not your movie. If all that stuff is your kind of thing, then you’re a sick son of a bitch and this will suit you well!

Get Into the Evil Spirit! Varsity Blood review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on

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A small town pack of football jocks and cheerleaders with a dark secret spend Halloween night at a rundown farmhouse to party until dawn, but a sadistic killer in the school mascot uniform hunts them down one by one. Now their only chance of survival is to rely on each other, but will their dark secret get the better of them?

“Varsity Blood” tries to home in on the slasher saturated 80’s decade and, more or less, hits the mark right on the head with quick quip dialogue, teen angst, nudity, and blood. The killer garnishes a costume, even if the costume is the school mascot of a goofy tribal warrior, but the warrior outfit is simple, dark, and, like aforementioned, tribal which already gives it a ominous feel. Like most iconic slasher movie killers, they all have to brand a signature weapon – Jason had his machete, Myers had his knife, Leatherface had his chainsaw. The Warrier had his axe. Not too many killers carry an axe as a signature weapon and the axe is not overused as the Warrior does implement various methods of death.
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What about the teen group of various mannered jocks, cheerleaders, and other high school patrons of “Varsity Blood?” Like I said before, there is plenty of teen angst – jock wants sex badly, girl is major slut, fat girl tries to prove herself, lots of crying – so there lies enough teenage drama to make white and black pimples to form on your face. Some characters, like the main female lead Hannah (Lexi Giovagnoli) and good-girl Heather (Elyse Bigler), receive good character background, some of the cast are just fillers for the killer to dice up and their deaths become less important and severely fall short of a sympathetic death.

The whole reason why the killer kills is a bit of a joke too. I’m not going to go into more detail, but lets just say that there is an agreement and the one’s side terms are a bit too lame for my liking. The other side has an legitimate excuse for making these teen hooligans into mince meat. I do mean ‘hooligans’ too as the teens don’t learn from their historical depravities that resulted into a terrible accident that they’ll never forget. The past always catches up with them and the warrior makes sure of that.
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Didn’t I mention nudity earlier? You would think nudity would run rampant in a film about cheerleaders getting hacked to bits. Unfortunately, we’re teased to no end as Natalie Peyton and Elle LaMont give nothing but a tease show with covered nudity and bra and panties. However, not all is a total loss. Taylor Moessinger does do a strip show dance and goes topless and you can read my short review of her scenes here.
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The death scenes were relatively tame for a slasher that is suppose to homage the greats, but these deaths weren’t necessarily terrible either. There is great use of practical effects that are pulled off with excellent angle work with the camera and use of camera placement. I’ll give that to Jake Helgren, you might remember from my review of “Bloody Homecoming”, another high school slasher with the same vein.
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Give “Varsity Blood” a try and see how it fits. Room for growth and improvement with the director Helgren, a promising career for sexy leading lady Lexi Giovagnoli, and a great topless scene from the spirited, free loving, always naked model Taylor Moessinger. “Varsity Blood” is now available to own on DVD and VOD from Image Entertainment.

Evil Spares No One! Gutterballs review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on

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Somebody should tie my feet together, hang me upside down, put a bag over my head, and just beat the shit out of me with a Louisville Slugger for an hour or two. I held onto the Ryan Nicholson’s Gutterballs DVD for nearly 4 years and just popped the disc into the player this past Wednesday. Gutterballs is a the ultimate 80’s homage to the slasher genre where two rival bowling groups are trapped inside an after hours bowling alley being taken out one by one by a psychotic killer known as BBK – Bowling Bag Killer. Why have gone 1,460 days of not watching Gutterballs? Mostly because I have 2,500+ movies and a wife who doesn’t care much for horror movies. I’m limited to 1 to 2 horror movies a week. Yup, I’m doomed.
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Gutterballs doesn’t just claim to be an 80’s homage, there lies true behind their claim. Though the characters might a bit of annoying, overly zealous, and dislikable, I did find everything else to be quite the throwback. The clothing, the editing, the violence, the special effects – all of these qualities harked back to the glory days. The characters, as I were saying, nearly ruined the whole thing by being over the top and I’m sure these characters are written to be this way, but why? The constant three assholes (one who chuckles for no good reason and I couldn’t wait for him to die), the every girl is a slut, and the outcasts were all well-done in a burnt steak kind of way.
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The nudity was nearly x-rated. We get to see Candice Lewald’s hamburger from behind and there is loads of fake dick sucking and dick disfiguring (turning a penis into a “mangina”). And lets not forget the barrage of gratuitous tit shots. Gutterballs is certifiably NC-17 and for good reason also for the two butt pucker rape scenes that will leave women and men cringing. Nicholson uses mainly schlock and shock value to get through to his audience without much of a plot behind it. The plot here is okay at best, but there lies many holes that need filling between the characters and their histories. More development is needed to give the story some girth, but when you’re creating a film with gallons of blood and naked chicks, I doubt a good story is on your mind because that won’t necessary bring in the big bucks.
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Gutterballs is a definite must for any gore fiend of the 80’s slasher film. Even the poster is rad with the homage to Maniac and the DVD cover is scantily clad with a blooding bowling pin. Gutterballs will make you want to go bowling afterwards, but it will also make you want to protect your all your holes from being invaded. Check this one out or you will strike out!

Evil is the Pits! Jug Face review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on

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“The pit wants what it wants.” Sometimes it is that simple. That saying could be the meaning of life for all we know? Could be the answer to the mysterious universe? Hell, could tell us what happened to Jimmy Hoffa and if there really lives a Loch Ness Monster. For the backwood folks of the movie Jug Face, that phrase is life and death. A backwoods community just on the outskirts of civilization serves an unseen entity in a deep muddy pit. The pit psychically connects with Dawai, a local simpleton who loses consciousness when connected to, to create a ceramic jug face of the face the pit wants to sacrifice in order for the community to keep sustaining their health. When young and out of wed-lock pregnant Ada’s face becomes the jug face, she steals the jug and hides it in the woods in attempt to not only save her life but her baby’s too. When the entity is ignored, the wrath of a gruesome death comes down upon the whole community by taking one person at a time until the pit gets what it wants.
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Jug Face strikes an originality chord in this reviewer’s bones. Usually when too much is happening one could easily become lost in the thick of the story, but where the thick might be the thickest, Jug Face fiercely cuts through and weaves a story of a women coming into her own to face responsibility and a story about fate in which no matter how much you try to re-arrange it, you’ll receive your rightfully due diligence in the end. The story ends up being grim for everyone and nobody has a one speck of happiness. A great parallelism to reality if you ask me because not every ending is sugar plums and puppy dog tails.
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The pit entity doesn’t seem like the “bad guy” villain that we might expect. Ada is not saint as she commits carnal sins and her actions result in the deaths of her friends and family and not all at the hands of the pit, but some by the community as well. Granted, not all the victims were innocent – some just as guilty as Ada – but we struggle with Ada’s compelling reason to live and to keep her unborn baby alive too. We’re more partial to Dawai, who like I said earlier is the community nitwit, and her father Sustin who tenderly loves her more than anything as a father should but obeys the pit’s commands when a jug face is revealed.

The ensemble cast headlines with Lauren Ashley Carter as Ada. A relatively unknown actress with a great pair of breasts; she’s topless in the first 5 minutes of the movie. Carter is a wide eyed beauty with a face like Kristen Stewart except without that dumb glare. Indie genre favorite Larry Fessenden (I Sell The Dead, Habit) takes on Ada’s father Sustin. Sean Bridges plays a great village idiot as Dawai and the other Sean, Sean Young, Ray Finkle him-herself, is Ada’s sadistic mother.
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Overall the movie watchable value and cult status written all over it (I has saying cult status, but what else is there to label it?). In reality, the MVDVisual distributed film with come and go with much of the straight-to-DVD market and that is a grisly disappointment because this little bizarre script from first feature film direct received a little money behind it and has a great cast, but the names aren’t big enough, the distributor isn’t big enough, and the story will fly over most people’s heads. MVDVisual and Modern Distributors did do a great job with the 5.1 Surround Sound and the clear 2:35 Widescreen format. Everything is pretty sharp here, but don’t expect jug Face to make waves amongst the masses.

Evil’s a Dick! Zombie A-Hole Review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on

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Slowly and slowly, there has been a increase of likability toward director and writer Dustin Mills and his hugely creative and widely entertaining horror films. This might sound like a creepy man-crush, but the Kevin Smith like-a-like director has his own production company, he pulls from his own stable of actors, and his movies are not your typical, run-of-the-mill independent boringness trash. The experiences had with Dustin Mills have been in backwards motion where I’ve started Mills recent projects and have worked backwards ending with Zombie A-Hole – so far. Zombie A-Hole involves a hellbent cowboy, a psychic twin brother, and a one-eyed engineer superstar all seeking the same evil – the other twin brother who gave his soul to an evil living inside a medallion that has given the brother unlimited power and has returned him from the grave! This a-hole stalks and kills twin siblings for their brain matter to give him everlasting power making this zombie a-hole the most depraved, the most senseless, and the most hated being on this twisted earth!

What impresses me more about Dustin Mills is his use of effective special effects when compared to a $1,000 budget. The man must be good with a computer because even though I can see the slight mistakes or the slight cheapness of the prosthetics, his special effects can please even the most critical critics. Mills even uses quick editing techniques to create the illusion of twin siblings. Seven “twins” will trick your mind by having the “twins” seem to be in the same scene, but with some quick camera work and some flawless editing the same actor will only seem to be in the same scene with their twin when they’re talking to each other. If that last sentence doesn’t confuse you, then you’re special. Mills can also make Party City skeletons looks like some grade A Sam Raimi Army of Darkness skeletons by brushing them up in makeup and using filter techniques to create his own smart ass undead army.

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Two regular actors of Mills’ work turn grueling indie project into a highly entertaining horror film. Brandon Salkil portrays three characters in Zombie A-hole as the twin brothers and the zombie. Jason Eal takes on the rough and tough, zombie asskickin’ cowboy. Both actors feature in Mills’ later films such as Bath Salt Zombies (another great, based on a true story film) and both have had their own starring roles in Mills’ films as well as working behind the scenes on the production crew. Versatile and hardworking, these two actors’ on screen performances are poetic. Salkil’s animated personality homes in on a Jim Carrey while Eal tough guy schtick is well welcomed when dealing with any evil force.

Zombie A-hole markets itself as a zombies are cool and hip while being brutal and deadly. Though Salkil’s zombie is brutal and deadly, the prey could have been more lively. The “twins” are mainly alternative girls who for some reason always get the ax when they’re taking a bath or in the shower…? A pre-shower, during shower, post-shower motif I don’t completely understand. Perhaps to show some gratuitous tits or maybe to show how helpless these victims are with no fight in them when the Zombie A-Hole is cracking open their skulls, ready to eat their brains!

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Zombie A-Hole’s all out mentality will leave you with great appreciate for independent filmmaking. Thank you MVDVisual for releasing Dustin Mills work and exposing the writer and director and also his two main actors Brandon Salkil and Josh Eal. MVD’s presentation runs 108 minutes with a standard definition 16×9 widescreen ratio, but Mills purposely grains the film to give the a grindhouse film feel and the standard definition goes right out the window. There are no extras and its a bit of a shame because I would want to see the behind the scenes of Zombie A-Hole, but that shouldn’t come between man and his urges to see blood, boobs, and the zombies!