To be honest with you, I was not a very big fan of Machete. Robert Rodriguez’s concept of a vengeful former Mexican Federale out for blood came off as a neat idea when previewed as a spoof trailer from Grindhouse. And having the hard-ridden look of Danny Trejo portray the character is a match made in hell! What was not to love when the news broke that Rodriquez would actually be writing and directing a feature film a few years later. Yet, I was let down and the sort of slap-stick, roughly edited film just didn’t hold the same thrill as the trailer had spun into me.
Machete must have done well enough to warrant a sequel that I will surely grant audience, but the new poster feature Sofia Vergara and her machine gun tits just screams bland, same old exploitation by Robert Rodriequez, feeling the same similarity with From Dusk till Dawn and the crotch gun worn by Tom Savini. Does Robert Rodriguez feel that privates are ultimately dangerous and should be considered hands off in the eyes of a good Catholic? See the poster below.
Sofia Vergara and her heavy artillery.
Machete Kills does sport a motley crew of a cast that includes fallen angels as Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson. Also appearing would be William Sadler, Cuba Gooding Jr, Amber Heard and Lady Gaga. But of course this would not be a Robert Rodriguez film without his usual cast of actors such as Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, Tom Savini, Antonio Banderas, and Electra and Elise Avellan. Machete Kills is slated for a September 13, 2013 release.
Almost a year ago, do you remember the real life face-eating cannibal Rudy Eugene due to, unconfirmed, street drug nicknamed “bath salts?” Eugene basically left his disabled vehicle near a Miami causeway, stripped completely butt-ass naked, and assaulted one Ronald Poppo by beating him down to the ground, stripping off his homeless man trousers, and proceeding to munch on the upper portion of his face. A real life zombie? Most likely not, but the more probably cause would be high as a kite on drugs, making him insane and almost superhuman-like. Reportedly, the attack went on for nearly 20 minutes and police even shot Eugene four times.
Not in the film, but I wanted you to have an idea of what to expect!
A year later, ambitious filmmakers came together with the “Miami Zombie” inspiration in mind and made a highly exaggerated, or was it, loosely based film about drug addicts turning into face biting zombies after smoking a bath salt resembler that is actually concocted from a highly toxic, military grade, weaponized substance that somehow mysteriously disappeared from the military’s inventory. Hot on the destructive addict’s tail is a relentless DEA agent who will stop at nothing to put an end to reign of bath salt terror!
Who are these ambitious filmmakers? And how the hell did they pull off a great fun and creative movie about the bath salt “Miami Zombie?” First off, the team of creators and actors behind that fantastic little Faustian film Night of the Tentacles were involved! Dustin Wayde Mills, whom very uncanny in looks and voice resembles Red State director Kevin Smith, directs, co-wrote, and also co-stars as the money hungry mad scientist behind the bath salt concoction. Night of the Tentacles lead man Brandon Salkil who is comically animated and has great facial features for film. Secondly, my main man Clint Weiler produced and co-wrote Bath Salt Zombies. Clint is also a head hancho over at MVD, a major home entertainment distributor for music and DVD video!
Bath Salt Zombies combines 300 with Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. You have the epic fight scenes, done very well by the way with well done choreographs by co-star Jason Eal (DEA agent), with the Scott Pilgrim like animations that turn a cheesy premises into the next big indie cult film – the next Dead Next Door comes to mind. Now, I could be wrong, but I found that Bath Salt Zombies paid homage to a couple of other notable horror and action icons such as the first Resident Evil video game in the mini-cartoon intro at the beginning reminded me of first appearance of a zombie and the subway fight finale reminded me of Neo and Agent Smith duking it out in the first Matrix. However, Bath Salt Zombies delivers more blood and more creative style with the budget.
What I really wanted more from this film was Erin R. Ryan’s twins in the shower. Along with Ryan’s ta tas, Bath Salt Zombies offers other perks such as a fully frontal 4 minute scene of DeviantArt and Model Mayhem model Bella Demente! You also have a great punk Soundtrack to go along with the spew of blood, the elastic internal organs, the dismembered body parts, and the multiple decapitations. I highly recommend this movie to any comedy, horror, or drug addict fan because Bath Salt Zombies entertains with a blood, boobs and banter that hasn’t been this witty for a indie film in such a long, long time! Well played!
Tonight I thought I would discuss two very different kind of horror films. Trying to dissect and compare horror films to each other can be enlightening to others; to help them explore new territories in horror. Also, this idea gives me to chat to be a blabber mouth about obscure, retro movies that most of the younger generations don’t know about. Hell, I’m almost 30 and I probably still need more horror movie schooling.
First I want to talk about Ted Post’s 1973 exploitation film The Baby. A social worker seeks out and becomes hired by the Wadsworth family to oversee the mentally ill child of the family who goes by the name of just Baby. Besides the retardation, Baby is an average boy who plays with toys, sucks on a bottle and cries when his diaper is wet with the exception that Baby is a 20-year-old man. The social worker plans for Baby seem genuine – to try to progress Baby’s ability to walk and talk like everybody else. However, the Wadworth family holds a dark secret that if anybody gets to close to that person ends up disappearing, but little does the Wadworth family know, that the social worker has alternate means for Baby than what she cares to divulge.
The Baby is a unique exploitation for me. I’ve never seen anything like it before. The fact that the mentally ill, a man, and the mind of a child are being exploited beyond rational means. When you (in this case when I) think of the exploitation genre, I imagine women being used for their body or just a person being exploited for violence. In The Baby, the man and the mentally ill is being abused for his body and the man and the mentally ill is being exploited for violence. During the duration, there is no grasp on who might be the hero and who might be the villain. The roles are a virtually reversed between the Wadworths family and the social worker and even at the end of the movie, you still don’t know how to process the information and end up second guessing the hero and the villain. The Baby will imprint in your mind and sear into your brain making The Baby a well executed film just by script alone. Director Ted Post and The Baby David Mooney do a remarkable job even if the 70s film does come off outdated and corny. Gerald Fried’s score is also pretty amazing and that is worth listening to as well.
Second comes The Prowler. A maniacal killer runs rampant on Avalon Bay, NJ dressed in WW II fatigues carrying a pitchfork, bayonet and a handheld shotgun. The killer reminisces about Rosemary, the love of his lift who gives him a Dear John letter for his time in military service. His longing forces him to kill.
Tom Savini has mentioned that his work on 1981 The Prowler was his best work ever. I don’t know if I could agree with Mr. Savini or not on that as his effects for The Burning are superb, but anything Savini touches is gold so The Prowler is a shining example of his gruesome work. The problem or problems rather with The Prowler is the entire storyline as it was far too choppy and incoherent. I pieced the story all together sans the movie and I get that the audience sometimes has to make their own interpretation, but come on! I feel as if The Prowler character just didn’t have enough back story like Jason Voorhees who had a tragedy as a child seeing his mother beheading and seeks revenge on the free-spirited, sex crazed teenage campers and consolers.
Two very different movies. Two different styles. All with in the realm of thrills and chills. Exploitation and slasher genres have gained knowledge from these two prime examples, yet we still build and build upon each genre. We don’t see them too much in theaters anymore which is a shame since both genres really put you in the center of the worlds most delicate issues of the world. People kill people. People exploit people. These issues will never go away but they will never been renowned as popular because the subjects frighten us way too much.
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