Monthly Archives: October 2023

The Body Must Go Through an EVILution to Survive! “Crimes of the Future” reviewed! (Second Sight / 4K-Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Crimes of the Future” 4K UHD/Blu-ray Set is the New Sex!  

Physical pain no longer resides in the human body, infection has all but been inexplicably eradicated, and new organs spontaneously appear, mutating their bodies and humanity into grotesque performance artist and back alley surgical pleasure seekers.  Saul Tenser and his partner Caprice showcase the new organ oddities with surgical art of removing the organ in front of sensually aroused and curiously stimulated spectators.  When an admirer offers an idea for a show, an autopsy of his recently deceased son he promises will be full of surprises, the artists dig into what could be a spectacular operational observation for shocking advant-garde art, but the deeper they dig the more than realize their own bodies might be evolving to a synthetic-laden environment and there are those working in favor and against what it means to be considered human in the New Vice Unit, at the National Organ Registration Office, and clandestinely, behind-the-scenes of the corporation Lifeform. 

David Cronenberg is known for pushing provocation in style and in substance.  His latest dystopian picture “Crimes of the Future” continues the provoking, controversial trend in his verve of body horror that has collectively corroborated Cronenberg as the face of the biologically integrating subgenre.  Cronenberg writes and directs the quasi remake of his 1970 feature of the same title with modern day effects as well as providing new reconstructive surgery on the story surrounding the man who grows new organs just to have them cut out shortly after.  Cronenberg tackles themes of human physiological evolution in a plastic consumed and destroyed environment and the evolution of performance art as it relates to sex or stimulation while also dipping his toes into the darker side of control with organization entities that either become an obstacle or a complete antagonist of corruption within a commercial corporation sense or a threadbare government agency that attempts to control and police a person’s own body and life.  Shot entirely in Athens, Greece under local production company Argonauts Productions, as one of man of the companies backing the 2022 feature, “Crimes of the Future is also funded by the capital investment company Ingenious Media (“Guns Akimbo”) and the Canadian governmentally funded Téléfilm Canada (“Ginger Snaps”) with Serendipity Point Films, Crave, and Rocket Science to name a select few in the co-productions.

Marking his fourth collaboration with the director, Viggo Mortensen (“Eastern Promises,” “A Dangerous Method”) handles the fame of Saul Tenser, the subject of performance art with a knack for spontaneously growing new organs, or tumors, nearly at will and having them removed during surgical exposition at the hands of his intimate partner Caprice, quizzically seduced by the performance from “Blue is the Warmest Colour” and “Spectre’s” Léa Seydoux. Mortensen plays into Tenser’s will to remain what the institutes define has human only to become conflicted with the investigation into the prospect of rib-splitting a deceased young boy that sends Tenser into what-if territory. Scott Speedman (“The Strangers”) is the cause-driven father of the expired boy and Speedman sustains the character with his usual calm, soft-spoken demeanor which didn’t quite feel passionate enough for a neo-rebel against a society against what he stands for, what he is, and what he thinks everyone should relinquish to – to let the organs grow and flourish. Instead, the New Vice Unit Agent (Welket Bungué), the National Organ Registry’s bureaucrats, the excitable Whippet (Don McKellar, “eXistenZ”) and odd yet attractive Timlin (Kristen Stewart, ‘Underwater”), and an unscrupulous corporation looking to stop the spread of evolution insurgence for capital sustainability. Full of complex characters and neoteric performances, “Crimes of the Future” leaves a lasting impression, makes you stop and think, and indulges in the possibilities of the future with the help of a supporting cast that rounds out with Nadia Litz, Tanaya Beatty, Lihi Kornowski, and Yorgos Pirpassopoulos.

My official opinion about Cronenberg’s “Crimes of the Future” is that many viewers won’t see the multifaceted sides of what the writer-director is trying to convey.  What will be seen is the grunting organic bed that tilts back-and-forth, the fleshy and clunky moving digestive assistance chair that also has low guttural sounds, a dancing man sewn with many human ears, people being sliced open and enjoying it, and a dystopian future where suffering is not a main element.  People will see surface level abnormalities and gore and not understand the layers of a hard-pressed evolution in stagnation by unknown fear and extreme prejudice that runs rampant throughout Cronenberg’s underlying implication of an adaptation and updated normalcy inside a synthetic world.  “Crimes of the Future” is grotesquely beautiful in the depiction of not only how human culture and arts have morbidly progressed by the elimination of pain and by the advancement of technology only to be harshly juxtaposed against the grimy, gritty, and dilapidated habitation where infection feels high risk and imminent, but also in the corruptibility of the human condition that isn’t a naturally biological one like growing spontaneous organs.  Instead, the two bureaucrats of the National Organ Registry are supposed to be hardliners, rule followers, and thorough with their newfangled profession in the everchanging, unexplored future of the human physiology but are seduced by the intimacy of surgery, comparing it to sex with a high addiction rate.  The two agents are constantly breaking government policies and rules in order to be close to the dazzling aciurgy considered artful and alluring like a beauty pageant for the celebration of one’s innards.  Cronenberg also adds the caveat of corporate greed into the folds and flaps of “Crimes of the Future’s” dash of commercial retail that can be fleeting if not paying attention.  The threat of evolution aims to put body mechanism-correcting bed and chairs out of business and so a concealed aim to lobotomize that particular information permanently creeps up onto the narrative in some of the more frightening and gruesome scenes of smothering the risk it can spread like theater fire panic.  “Crimes of the Future” is an eye opening epiphany of everlasting ecological entrapment and the only way to survive is becoming accustomed to the taste of waste in order to be free of it.

If “Crimes of the Future” isn’t already remarkable enough in the wake of David Cronenberg returning to the body horror heir class, Second Sight stuns us with an impressive collector’s set from the UK. The 2-disc 4K UHD and Blu-ray set exhibits the film in a widescreen 1.85:1 with both formats decoding at an average bitrate of 23Mbps. The 4K UHD Dolby Vision comes in a HDR10 2160p while the High-Definition Blu-ray comes in a 1080p. Douglas Koch’s umbrageous urban bathed in greens and yellows and all the colors in between starkly hard lighting against softer details on the visual effects. Most details are lost in the tenebrous and decaying background of age worn and spartan warehouses with little-to-no wide longshots other than the opening of an overturned cruise ship in one of the very few daylight scenes, but the extreme contouring lucidly delineates the shapes around people and objects. Both formats include an English DTS-HD 5.1 Master Audio, providing a coherent and even robust dialogue through much of the Mortensen’s Tenser throaty rasp, Stewart’s Timlin robotic inflections, and Speedman’s Lang soft and breathy speech. “Crimes of the Future” is not volatile and full of action in what’s more a slow noir progression, focusing in on intimacy of dialogue, the proximate ambience, and Howard Shore’s (“Lord of the Rings”) neo-space opera and synth score. English subtitles are available for the hearing impaired. Second Sight puts heart and soul into every release when not only considering A/V but also special features and limited-edition contents. Special features include multiple succinct Second Sight produced interviews with director David Cronenberg and stars Viggo Mortensen, Léa Seydoux, and Kristen Stewart regarding “Crimes of the Future’s” broad vision. An extended interview with Don McKellar dives into his relationship with David Cronenberg from over the years plus his role as the National Organ Registry agent, plus additional crew interviews with producer Robert Lantos, cinematographer Douglas Koch, and editor Christopher Donaldson. Famed film journalist Leigh Singer provides a video essay New Flesh, Future Crimes: The Body and David Cronenberg, a making of featurette, production design materials that go deep into the austere and spartan look of Greece-turned-dystopian future, and a short film “The Death of David Cronenberg by Cronenberg and his daughter, Caitlyn. The physical features are a whole other beast within a rigid slipcase with new artwork by Marko Maney of a pitchy Saul Tenser relaxed in his orchid bed with tentacles while the back reads in stacked words, Body is Reality, glowing inside an old tube television. Both discs are held in an insert jewel amary case with its own Maney artwork of extracted organs in the same color scheme as the slipcase. Alongside the casing, there are 6 collectible art carts, a 120-page color book with production designs, location setups, and new essays by Reyna Cervantes, Tim Coleman, Joel Harley, Rich Johnson, Mikel J. Koven, Phil Nobile Jr., Ian Schultz, and Hannah Strong. “Crimes of the Future” is certified 18 for strong gory images and sex reference and runs 107 minutes on both formats with the Blu-ray locked in B region while the 4K UHD is listed as region free. Plausibly absurd, “Crimes of the Future” imparts far-fetched and dark humored science fiction, but if plants and animals biologically adapt to new or changing environments in order to survive, director David Cronenberg sees the future and renders a concept that, on a second sight thought, may be existentially key.

“Crimes of the Future” 4K UHD/Blu-ray Set is the New Sex!  

An EVIL Re-Imaging of a Donald Farmer Classic! “Savage Vengeance” reviewed! (SRS Cinema / DVD)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Savage Vengeance” now available on DVD home video!

Best friends and law students Tara and Meghan take a much needed depressurizing road trip and run into a Ronnie and Thom, a pair of locals with car trouble looking for assistance at the nearby gas station.  Hesitate to offer a ride, Tara agrees to their proposal of a life for sleep accommodations at Ronnie and Thom’s lake house in the Ozarks.  A serene lake and a drink in hand relaxes Tara’s foremost suspicions about the sketchy couple who seemingly chill and all about a good time catering to Tara’s stressed out needs.  The next thing Tara remembers is waking up to Ronnie and Thom standing over her, tied up, and her and Meghan threatened to become dinner for a pair of bloodthirsty cannibals who’ve just about wrapped up their previous viscera meal, but Tara isn’t as innocent as she appears as she shares the same killer instinct as her captors.  A struggle ensues, the tables begin to turn, and what was once prey has now become the predator!

A re-imagining of Donald Farmer’s 1993 original of the same title starring “I Spit On Your Grave’s” Camille Keaton, director Jake Zelch takes a pun-intended stab at “Savage Vengeance” with a twist in the schlocky sordid and dark tale by replacing Farmer’s original motivation for revenge for cannibalistic carnage.  “The Haunting of Mia Moss” and “The Dark Web Tapes” director helms Farmer’s story as a base while attempting a revamp and build upon with new characters and new plot devices along with contributing screenwriting by “Another Evil Night’s” Jason Harlow and “Lycanimator’s” Sébastien Godin.  Shot in Tennessee, “Savage Vengeance” is a production of Zelch’s Missouri based company, Unreality, and is produced by the filmmaker and headlining star Tamara Glynn (“Halloween 5:  The Revenge of Michael Myers”) with Donald Farmer and Curtis Carnahan as executive producers, marking the third feature film collaboration between Carnahan and Zelch.  Stratosphere Films handled the theatrical distribution.

Zelch’s “Savage Vengeance” has an identity problem.  Having reformulated the original premise, which doesn’t offend me as I think reinventing the wheel can sometimes be fresh and creative under the same directive title, the script has trouble nailing down a proper principal by shooting, by my count, three different segments disconnected from each other and with three different protagonists leading the charge in each.  Tamara Glynn receives top bill despite only garnering about 10 minutes of screen time in the beginning due to much of the opening footage being lost due to backup hard drive failure, according to Zelch on the director’s commentary.  The “Terrifier 2” and “Halloween 5” actress is essentially captured, chained, and trying to find a way out after waking up in a scarce-looking attic but because of her aforesaid credits, the DVD front cover banner head makes for a great advert sell point.  Instead, modern scream queen Roni Jonah (“Kill, Granny, Kill!,” “The Bloody Man”) becomes the runtime face of “Savage Vengeance” as Jake Zelch intends for the girth of the story.  Jonah, as Tara, paired with Jasper Evans as best friend Meghan heading toward an in schtook situation not only the cannibals on the road ahead but internally with rape, pregnancy, and a dysfunctional love triangle that has more to do with illicit lust than love with Tara’s boyfriend David (Dave Ivan), a theme much closer to the original essence of Donald Farmer’s rape-revenge exploitation.  However, what’s assumed is taken for granted and not utilized to all its pathways the concept could have complexed the characters rather than freezing them in a face value understanding.  That understanding comes a tool against cannibals Ronnie (Kat Underwood) and Thom (Cody Alexander, “Eat the Rich”) who are your typical crazed anthropophagus antagonists, as well as sadistic sodomist as we see with Adam Freeman’s (“Debbie Does Demons”) character, of film.  When these characters meet and try to be merge an acquaintance or friendship, in Tara’s shoes, I might just be a little more judgmental of two heavily tattooed wanderers, the male sporting a knife sheathed in holster around his backside as he walks around his wifebeater tank-top, handing out to me mysterious drinks on their isolated, rural property.  The whole setup doesn’t do the story justice to Tara’s decision making but then again, she’s not as pulled together as Zelch’s useable footage relays.  The third segment pops up after initial closing credits with Jessa Flux (“Debbie Does Demons”) to possibly offer up an imminent sequel “Savage Vengeance 2:  Better Off Dead, starring Flux.

Almost seems unfair to cover and review Zelch’s “Savage Vengeance” because of so much of the footage being forcibly cut and the shot narrative going through essentially restructured surgery to make pieces segue and make sense on screen.  Honestly, the recut doesn’t work, leaving too much unanswered and too much to decipher to put a solidified stamp on the series of events.  Thus pushing forward the abridged cut may warrant an impartial review until a more definitive, complete cut sees the light of day.  The material “Savage Vengeance” shows currently splices together the MPEG files that survived the great blue screen of death and transfer fail, such as with the Tamara Glynn opening that’s only connected by the brief present of Ronnie eating cat guts and Thom surprising and looming over Glynn before her deafening scream.  The additional footage explained by Zelch added context to the cannibals and provided a memorable kill to setup the tone of Zelch’s homage to late 70’s rural horror.  Fortunately for Zelch, horror fanatic brains are wired differently, able to fill in most of the gaps of a formulaic building blocks; however, the success of this can also be attributed to Zelch’s scramble editing to make a semi-intelligible story with what’s left contextless of the low budget nitty-gritty.  Another highlight is the blood with pretty-penny special effects from the multi-hat wearing Kat Underwood and her colleague Erin Felts who drum the gore the best they can with prop dummies for splitting in two, a whistle dogged dildo-penis gag, and saucy blood and guts to give the film the edge it needs to tribute Farmer’s ferociously.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, I do applaud SRS Cinema’s time, effort, and creativity in the physical media artwork as the gorgeously dripping blood, sex, and horror pulp is quintessential eye candy for fans in what is typically a microbudget and mediocrity poor effort in the graphic cover art department of terribly arranged and hack job compositions. None of that rubbish here with many of the SRS Cinema titles, including “Savage Vengeance” on DVD.  The 1.85:1 widescreen and 720p standard definition presented DVD5 might have a deliciously illustrated cover but the film itself is marred by the artificial VHS overlay of tracking lines and macroblocking, especially when Zelch aims for a 70’s exploitation veneer that was mostly 16 or 35mm.  Instead of a grainy-laced, dirt-spotted, cigarette-burned, and scratched up celluloid frames, or a resemblance of something akin to it, “Savage Vengeance’s” aesthetics only bask in the softer details of lower resolution clarity and in the ethereal of a delicate lighting that eliminates shadowy contours that offer depth.  Frame rate also seems to be slow down some sporadically throughout as well as the erratic focus as if you’re coming out of sleep and trying to regulate your eyes from dark to light.  The English Dolby Digital 2.0 audio mix stems from the onboard, built-in camera mic that captures the surroundings which has pros and cons, such as diluting the dialogue to a subdued audible.  Not a ton of balance from the surrounding environment when augmented sounds, like the zaps of the electric fence or the overpower roar of chainsaw decibels that don’t change in closeups or wide shots, make their way into the fold.  No subtitles are available.  Bonus features include a Jake Zelch commentary with scene-by-scene backstory and explanation as well as the full explanation of his lost footage, actor Adam Freeman commentary that revolves around his acting craft, male nudity on screen, and his opinions of rape and sexual assault in general, a gallery slideshow, and the feature’s trailer.  Aforementioned, the illustrated cover of Tamara Glynn looking slyly and sexy holding a blood chainsaw is primo quality on front of the standard DVD case.  Inside lies no insert and with the same image on the disc art. Until a completely restored version of director Jake Zelch’s vision, the filmmaker’s “Savage Vengeance” can barely stand as perspicuous testimony of an uncalled for 30-year-reimagining.

“Savage Vengeance” now available on DVD home video!

A Thousand EVIL Little Legs Wriggle Inside You! “Creepy-Crawly” reviewed! (Well Go USA / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Get Wigged Out by “Creepy Crawly” on Blu-ray!

During the COVID lockdown, a group of tourists are confined to a quarantine appointed hotel in a Thailand city. Fielded by skeleton hospitality, the hotel aims to make the tourists comfortable as possible with the limited number of staff and security on hand. Though frustrated and displaced, the quarantined few feel ultimately satisfied by their popup accommodates spearheaded by the Thai government. However, one amongst the staff and tourists is a shapeshifting monster of local legends, jumping from body to body in hopes to find a person with unique blood in order to survive for eternity. Forcibly detained by a sleazy and easily persuadable hotel manager, Leo, Fame, and their families hardly trust anyone, even themselves, as a hidden creature invades a new host to become closer to living forever. It’s true shape like a centipede, the creature summons its smaller, poisonous brethren to wreak havoc inside every crevasse of an inescapable shelter.

Tapping into the same slithery vein as “Night of the Creeps,” “Invasion of the Body Snatchers,” or even “Slither” itself, co-writers-and directors Chalit Krileadmongkon and Pakphum Wongjinda channel their inner spirit animal, the thousand-legged wriggler, back to their home country of Thailand for a new creature feature sure to have your skin recoil with formication.  Also co-written alongside, Charoen Kaithitisuwan, “Creepy Crawly,” or better known in Thailand as “The One Hundred,” is the second feature for Krileadmongkon behind another unearthing creature construction in “The Beast Below” that was released the same year as “Creepy Crawly.”  For Wongjinda, the 2022 released film marks the 9th feature in the filmmaker’s 20+ year-long career who began in 2001 with a script surrounding a feminist ghost killing men victims in “Body Jumper.  “Wongjinda has been once around the horror subgenre carousel to now collaborate with the fresh perspective and ideas from the up-and-coming Krielandmongkon to extend Thai’s catalogue of cinematic chills and thrills.  Neramitnung Film and Fatcat Studios serve as production studios with producers Natchanok Kamonrattananan, Punyanet Tanaprapass (“The Beast Below”), and Kamonwan Kanaraksunti. 

Perhaps better if told in the perspective of an ensemble cast, “Creepy Crawly” reduces is principal character pool to just two, a hot-headed Taekwondo champion named Leo and a social media influencer aptly named Famed.  The two cross paths while being COVID quarantined, sharing a smoke in the stairwell while sharing breaking the hotel rules of remaining locked in their rooms.  There’s not much in the way of connection between the two characters, played by one half of the Golf & Mike musical group Mike Angelo (“The Misfits”) and the mixed heritage of English, Chinese, and Thai actress Chanya McClory, as the progressive action teases something more than just stairwell strangers as Leo frequently comes to Fame’s aid whenever he his sixth sense senses danger.  Both principals carry collateral damage weight with family members also being in quarantine with them; Fame has her brother and social media partner Fiew (Benjamin Joseph Varney, “The Promise”) while Leo has a slightly more extensive circle and greater family drama with sister Lena (Kulteera Yordchang) and their mute, widowed father (Paramej Joiam, “407 Dark Flight 3D”) to which with the latter Leo has an aversion in connecting with periodical flashbacks of Leo and Lena’s dying mother and somehow, which is revealed later, their father is to blame.  This creates more of an arc for Leo with an imbalanced, shared protagonist lead with Fame who we don’t get to know as intimately other than she has an incurable blood disorder that could be fatal if not treated with meds.  “Creepy Crawly’s” cast is beautifully eclectic, and I don’t mean with appearances but rather their interesting, robust with personal motivations, and not terribly dull or overtly bland with performances from Wanpiya Omsinnopphakul, Chanidapa Pongsilpipat, Sita Chutipaworakarn, Chutaporn Chaikawin, and David Asavanond as the slimy hotel owner.

As I sit down to gather my thoughts about this review squirming with venomous centipedes, a house centipede, or what we like to call in our house a thousand-legger, steps hundreds of feet-over-feet on the wall in front of me. Talk about good timing, bad omens, or just a straight up coinkydink when a cousin of the deadly antagonist you just bore witness in a film crawls up the wall in front of you. Despite the inspiration that scuttles in front of me, “Creepy Crawly” has a more fantastically gigantesque infestation. The story has a COVID-19 backdrop and is supposedly based off the story of Battambang told by King Chulalongkorn, aka King Rama V. I, unfortunately, can’t elaborate much about the story as I couldn’t dig up anything that closely resembles the analogy between a centipede invasion and a French conflict. Or are the centipedes a metaphor for the European encroachment? Or are they a metaphor for the COVID pathogen that’s hidden amongst the atypical carriers? Either way, “Creepy Crawly” is visual effects driven with a crevasse-trenched and many-moving-leg scaled arthropod with a pincher-laden head but before the monstrosity makes face, the mega-centipede can hop from body to body, able to protrude tentacled pinchers like spears, impaling victims as well as transposing itself into another body before sucking and skinning the host dry of life and flesh – very reminiscent of an Edgar suit. The jutting spears from the host never harms the body, alloying to-and-fro the skin, and clothing, in a compatibility of supernaturality that fits the folklore mold explained during the opening credits. That’s where I imagine the lore ends and the exoskeleton evil begins as we’re sucked into Leo’s daddy issues, the hotel manager’s self-preservation, and Fame’s bad blood that’s good for the big bad bug. Though Leo’s emotional pull the right heart chords and the hotel manager selfishness and greed adds tension and conflict to an already imposing no way-out scenario, the blood disorder plot device is skimmed to be barely tolerable without diving into the science of why a 10-foot centipede can survive on a compromised blood.

As far as COVID-theme foreign productions, “Creepy Crawlers” checks out as a roach motel monster movie from Well Go USA Entertainment. The distribution company’s Blu-ray is an AVC encoded, 1080p high-definition, and presented in a 2.39:1 aspect ratio. Visual effects conducted by Thailand’s Matchmove team have remarkable detail in the composited scenes with the exception of one latter scene that compromises the blacks of reality to a darker shade of gray or blue when overlaying it with the digitally added creature. Details are generally delineated nicely, color grading pops natural tones, and the BD25 offers sufficient space to suppress compression artefacts. The Thai DTS-HD 5.1 Master Audio with optional English subtitles greatly exudes the centipede click-marching and pinch clips to effectuate an army of killer scurrying arthropods swarming onto, into confined quarters and those suspected of sickness, COVID-19 to be exact. Dialogue cleanly renders, especially between the majority of Thai and the medley of minority languages, such as Chinese and English. Bonus features are limited to just Well Go USA previews/trailers in what has become another barebones release for the company. The Blu-ray comes in a standard amary case with snapper with fantastically to truth image of the creature on the front cover while the inside has a paper advert for three Well Go USA films with the disc art displays warm shades red and yellow in what is a very culturally appropriated Thai coloring. “Creepy Crawly” scritch-scratches the lousy sensation of a buggy creature feature with loads of action that tries to add and induce more into the narrative beyond what’s innately there and that can be a great repellant to this wecl invasive species of Thai genre films.

Get Wigged Out by “Creepy Crawly” on Blu-ray!

This 600 Horsepower Outboard Propeller Runs on EVIL! “Motorboat” reviewed! (SRS Cinema / DVD)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

As Chief Brody Always Said, This Isn’t a Boat Accident!  “Motorboat” on DVD today!

Messiah Ward and his cult of followers once plagued the surrounding Lake Jude for years, conjuring black magic and death in order to appease their netherworld lord.  Ward’s evil is only matched by the goodness of a man of the cloth, but the pious risktaker is no ordinary priest but Messiah Ward’s very own brother, Father Thomas.  Taking matters into his own had to save the souls of his community, Father Thomas mercilessly guns down Messiah Ward and his acolytes, ending his reign of terror…or so he thought.  Two years later, a black and powerful phantom speedboat appears on the lake, killing those who dare enter its waters.  With the help of the local lake patrol officer Barney Rayl investigating the homicides, Father Thomas must serve as the wrath of God once again to stop his brotherly possessed motorboat from hacking up any more innocent swimmers and fishers with its deadly outboard propeller. 

I’ve seen my share of possessed combustible engine films with cars, trucks, and even a killer bulldozer.  Hell, I’ve even seen a rubber tire on a rampage.  Yet, I’ve never seen a killer boat movie until today and the Polonias are responsible for the slaughter on the seas with their latest indie schlocker, “Motorboat.”  The “Splatter Farm” and “Hellspawn” director Mark Polonia and his son Anthony team up for their fifth rudimentary, lowbrow lunge at hyper-micro budget horror, crowdfunded on Indiegogo for around $5,000, and shot in the fall of October ‘22 in and around Tioga county, such as one location being Hills Creek State Park Lake to be one of three locations in creating a larger lake setting.  “Motorboat” is created by Polonia Brothers Entertainment, executively produced by SRS Cinema’s Ron Bonk, through Indiegogo, and John Dagostino with Mark Polonia producing, and Elliott Monroe (“Evil Bong 666”) and Previn Wong (“Yule Log”) set as associate producers. 

Like many of the Polonia Brothers Entertainment, a cast of regulars return to indulge in the tightknit production family and to give their all in providing their best performances to make micro budgets like “Motorboat” come to filmic fruition.  In the roles of Priest and Harbor Patrolman are Tim Hatch (“Shark Encounters of the Third Kind”) and Jeff Kirkendall (“Sharkula”) who have once again found themselves working side-by-side on a Mark Polonia production.  Cemented more into exposition than action, Hatch and Kirkendall essentially get the job done with their extensive rapport and long history working together but as developing their characters, a Priest and a Harbor Patrolman could have well been a Lake Fisherman and  Pizza Delivery Man as the professions are laid waste to the script’s lesser defining ideals that are more clearly evident, such as a demon possessed motor boat offing people on and off shore.  Also, Hatch and Kirkendall, as well as much of “Motorboat’s” cast, aren’t very expressive, use little gesturing, and corner themselves with monotone deliveries, taking what should be shocking scenes or jump into actions with little reactionary energy and intensity.  That fairly sums up “Motoboat’s” cast as Messiah Ward is more like the 1958 Plymouth Fury in “Christine,” a motorized machine on a killing spree, with Michael Korotitsch briefly playing the character under a black or rubber mask during his corporeal scenes.  The remaining cast are essentially the racked up body count boat fodder with Polonia regulars Jamie Morgan (“House Shark”), Ken Van Sant (“Sharkenstein”), Dave Fife (“Doll Shark”), and Noyes J. Lawton (“Virus Shark”).

As you can obviously see by the cast’s previous film credits, which all involved Mark Polonia, the director has a healthy fascination with the predators of the ocean, augmenting and exploiting sharksploitation from a limitless thought-bubble of narrative concepts.  Surprisingly, “Motorboat” does not contain one single dorsal fin or rows of razor-sharp visual effects teeth.  Polonia may have deviated from sharksploitation but never got out of the water by keeping the tide still infused with blood.  Post-production blood effects, rain, and layered energy spirals are not the most skillfully composited integration but what Polonia always strives for is to make an entertaining film, to keep the viewers engaged, and could only hope that the his microbudget efforted effects, such as using a 1/16 scale RC boat as the Messiah Ward’s ship of slaughter, afforded him enough production value to eke by but how Mark Polonia, and I’m sure son Anthony also, very masterfully retains engagement for his microbudget movies is to not linger on a shot that can make the scene stale or monotonous.  Granted, you may roll your eyes on lower shelf quality, but you’ll still find yourself connected to the screen as cuts are made for different camera angles, such as over-the-shoulder, behind-the-back, master shots, closeups, mediums, there’s never a single take for a long period of time to avoid idle eyes and unstimulated neuron firings.  The story itself cruises along as combination of films like “The Devil’s Rain” and “The Car” leaving a fair amount of demonic or possessed destruction in its wake but can be trying at times piecing together the whole story behind Messiah Ward’s purpose and transition into either a speedboat or a demon driving a speedboat, an unclear specific of the antagonistic character, and this undercuts Father Thomas and Harbor Patrol Rayl endgame goal because we’re not exactly sure who or what they’re up against.  An innuendo term like “Motorboat” suggests lighter, more in a foreplay of intentions, but SRS Cinema and Mark Polonia are abreast in another way to turn the tide toward something far more terrifying on the waters!

The one thing you can always count on Ron Bonk and SRS Cinema to pull off are immaculately enticing cover arts to catch one’s eye and that is what we have here with “Motorboat” on DVD home video.  The 16×9 widescreen presented film is a MPEG-2 encoded DVD5 shot digitally with an overall clean finish. However, compressions issues do appear with minor jittery picture noise and minor banding with skin tones ungraded and appearing sometimes orange in the shot. Thrifty visual effects are you get what you pay for but doesn’t necessarily affect the watch if going in, understanding, and if a fan of the Mark Polonia fast and dirty chugalug of filmmaking. An English stereo 2.0 is wangled by the built-in camera mic that more than most the time doesn’t have too many issues with playback aside the varying and inconsistent dialogue levels despite being in the same scene as well as unable to filter an overwhelming lakeside ambiance. Post ADR was used to overlay a couple of scene dialogue tracks due to the crashing, wind-driven waves of lakeside conversing. As a whole, dialogue sums up pretty clear without serious hurdles. The two-channel speaker relays a punchy boat-toot audio byte that sounds like a Mac truck blaring its horn whenever Messiah Ward the “Motorboat” is cruising the waters and killing the people. There were no English subtitles available. Extras include an audio commentary track with director Mark Polonia who half the time soapboxes his trials and tribulations as well as champions micro-indie filmmaking while also diving shallowly into “Motorboat’s” background waters. The official trailer and other SRS trailers are also present. I’m always impressed with SRS Cinema front cover artwork as it’s very appealing, alluring, and is sometimes not truly accurate and for “Motorboat,” we have a half-submerged woman in distressed and reaching out for help in the foreground as a minacious boat barrel toward her from behind. Not insert inside and the DVD art is the same front cover image but cropped to just show the woman’s frightened, eyeshadow-streaked face. Region free with a rum-runner runtime of 75 minutes, SRS Cinema’s DVD comes unrated. “Motorboat” is pure Mark Polonia and if you’re expecting high-caliber horror, you’re going to need more than a life preserver to survive these chopping waters.

As Chief Brody Always Said, This Isn’t a Boat Accident!  “Motorboat” on DVD today!

EVIL Knocks, A Child Listens. “Cobweb” reviewed! (Lionsgate / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Cobweb” on Blu-ray at Amazon.com!

Eight-year-old Peter isn’t allowed out on the forthcoming Halloween night.  Frightened by a neighborhood girl who went missing years ago, his strict parents keep a very close eye on their only son who’s social life has been squashed like one of the rotten pumpkins growing in his family’s backyard patch.  Relentlessly bullied and severely sheltered at home, Peter spends most of his time isolated from others until he hears knocking from the inside of his wall in the middle of the night.  Frightened at first in hearing the ensuing young girl’s whispering voice behind the wall, Peter’s loneliness entices a friendly, conversational voice after his parents dismiss the occurrence as Peter’s overactive imagination.  As the two talk through the nights, Peter learns the mysterious voice behind the wall is a terrible secret his parents have been hiding since before Peter was born, but the truth is much more darker and scarier than Peter could ever over imagine.  

Following the success of his written-and-directed 2019 French horror series “Marianne” on Netflix, surrounding the manifesting nightmares of a young writer who returns to her home town, director Samuel Bodin dives right into the spooky season with a Halloween-themed dysfunctional family horror feature that metaphors helicopter parenting as a harmful detriment that eats itself from within the nuclear structure.  The French director builds his vision off the back of the creepy children subgenre and off of the script by Chris Thomas Devlin, an American screenwriter behind the 2022 direct from the original sequel, “Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” that happens to be another Netflix debut release.  Devlin trades in rip-roaring chainsaws for rickety old houses lined with gaudy, antiquated-pattern wallpaper in this what’s-behind-the-walls thriller, produced by the Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg company Point Grey Pictures (Amazon’s “The Boy’s” and “Invincible”) with Josh Fagen alongside producers Roy Lee (“Barbarian,” “It”) and Andrew Childs of Nu Boyana Productions and Vertigo Entertainment with Lionsgate distributing. 

Ironically at the center of attention is the loneliest boy Peter casted with UK child actor Woody Norman (“The Small Hand,” “The Last Voyage of the Demeter”) to ensure Peter’s anemic spirit with a head full of shoulder length brown hair, downcast eyes, and melancholic demeanor. Yet, like most child dependent horror schemes, Normal can thrust out a gutsy sprint to survive and save the day against not only his oddly adjusted parents who quarterly channel the onscreen unionization of Wendy Robie and Evertt McGill in fiercely fearful “The People Under the Stair’s,” but also something far more secretive and far more sinister.  Anthony Starr, who has worked with Seth Rogen’s Point Grey Productions in “The Boy’s,” is aptly a father suppressing to fold and diminuendo his son’s curiosity and venture with scary stories of disappearing children and a stern childrearing with a sinister smile only Anthony Starr can produce.  Then, there’s Lizzy Caplan as the austere-dressed matron with a retractable badge for her small set of keys, which are an underemphasized plot device for all the doors in the house, both unconcealed and concealed.  I struggled with Caplan’s mother that borders being simplistically prose, like speaking in a fairytale without the elegance of being a dainty princess or the maniacal barbs of an evil sorceress.  The “Cloverfield” actress’s take on how a reticent mother is overly proper and out of place even in this tale that stretches the imagination and even beyond the film’s other flawed portions, which lead me into Cleopatra Coleman’s benignant substitute teacher Ms. Divine, a name not abashed in its metaphorical properties.  Ms. Divine overreaches herself secondary educational authority by interjecting her nosiness into what she mistakenly thinks is Peter’s subconscious cry for help.  The “Infinity Pool” actress goes unnecessarily lone wolf into the lion’s den that would make any parent understandably concerned and angry whether hiding something or not.  “Cobweb’s” cast fills out with Jay Rincon and Gary Busey (“Predator 2”) and Stephanie Sampson’s (“Sharknado 4:  The 4th Awakens”) preteen son Luke Busey who I must say is the spitting image of his father. 

Funny and coincidently enough, this is my second Grey Point Production film watched back-to-back with “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem,” “Cobweb” is not children’s film but resembles more like a Grimm fairytale with elements pulled from various volumes, some from more popular stories such as the long locks of Rapunzel or the pretense of a wolf in planned deceit of the eager youth, and the film certainly embodies the charmingly dark and rustic patina of such tales.  From the words on a page to the visual effects of the screen, “Cobweb” introduces us to a new kind of terror co-bred out of bigotry and fear of a polar difference so severe, so monstrous, that it warrants a shameful imprisonment and a simultaneous misappropriation of tutelage of starkly unalike children because, as parents, we can have this innate fear for ourselves being replaced with the creation transcending the creator threat.  Pour these twisted tales and themes together into a cauldron of storytelling and we can easily overlook how flawed “Cobweb” can appear on the surface, as if to say the story’s phantasmal qualities exempt narrative structural norms.  “Cobweb” has repetitive use of the imagination as an excuse for Peter’s hearing something, someone beyond walls or could even stretch to the parent’s feigning ignorance or diverting tactics as part of making believe whatever they’re secretly hiding doesn’t exist.  Aside from the title, other allusions to an arachnid theme suggests Peter might have an overactive power of invention, integrating his already schoolyard bullied mind and body to form an embodiment of fear. His rigid parents mixed with an overwhelming fear of spiders creates, or wills, a person or creature of shared relations, someone he can converse with quietly and share his concerns but, in the same breath, be frightened of when out from the wall.  Peter has the same reaction between the spider that crawls on his desk in the class and see the wall dweller’s floating out from a hole in a wall, signifying a one-in-the-same fear.  When inevitably revealed, the creature skulks with the movement of an eight-legged arthropod, has hair like a large, draping web, a face with bulging eyes and fangs, lives within and between walls, and has tiny spiders crawling through its hair.  Intense and portentous, “Cobweb’s” creepy-crawlies are sure to be hair-raising with a shocking turn of events.

Become caught up in Lionsgate’s release of “Cobweb” on the Blu-ray + Digital release. The AVC encoded, high-definition 1080p, BD50 has a Mbps decode rate of low 30s and presented in a 2.39:1 widescreen aspect ratio. Centered around the Fall season, “The Transporter’s” Philip Lazano’s cinematography lives in the dichotomy of shadows and a cool blue-green grading. Exteriors look potently seasonal in a dreary-overcast kind of way that fits “Cobweb’s” austere approach to an atypical straightforwardness in such a dark fairytale theme. Unostentatious, Lazano does a remarkable job with shadows, and dim lighting in general, to convey just enough to make the creature’s skuttling a double dose of undetectable dread before you know what hits you. The main audio option is an English DTS-DS 5.1 master audio with Spanish and French Dolby Digital 5.1 alternatives. Again, the skuttling around the house, the faint scraping of dry, old hair on the wood floors, the creaks, oh the creaks, of every inch of that house make “Cobweb” cue every traditional trope of audible terror right to your sensory receptors. Dialogue is clean, clear, and prominent with the only issue being the behind the wall speak that renders more like whispering in the same room than a muffled subdued voice as the layered dialogue overlap in volume. English subtitles are optionally available. Special features are not in-depth with a to the point featurettes with Becoming the Girl that express Bodin’s vision of the person behind the wall and contortionist Aleksandra Dragova’s efforts to bring that vision to life, Through the Eyes of a Child focuses on a small child in a bigger, uglier world through one-sided interviews with the cast and director and how those differences translates an uneasiness not only with the child but also the viewers who are engrossed by the contras, and A Primal Fear rounds out the specials with underlining fears of creaky house sounds, amongst other combined sounds, and how they’re arranged into a design that innate scare us. Physical aspects of the release come in a traditional Blu-ray amaray case housed with a beautifully composition shot that immediately grabs the eyes on a sturdy O-slipcover laced with a slight embossed spine title. Disc art goes for the less is more visage of a blueberry blue background with white font “Cobweb” at the top. In the insert slot is the digital copy waiting for you to either download and discard the physical release (which I hope you don’t) or neglect for way longer than the expired date allows. “Cobweb” is rated R for horror violence and some language, has a runtime of 88 minutes, and is region locked on A. Lionsgate has distributed the boogeyman, or in this case, the boogeywoman in the fretfully concentrated “Cobweb” that turns every scurry or scratch behind your own walls worth your undivided attention.

“Cobweb” on Blu-ray at Amazon.com!