How About A Nice Evil Plate of Hillbilly, Long Pig Meat? Legend of the Hillbilly Butcher!

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Taking after his demented butcher of a father, Carl Henry Jessup (Paul E. Respass) is a backwoods living hunter whose local delicacy amongst his surround neighbors is serving up grade-A human meat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Carl relives the past with the tragic death of a murder-suicide of his parents and tries to summon them to live again with the help a demon named Sam Bakoo. When the loner cannibal doesn’t get his wish from Sam Bakoo, he curses and rejects the demon starting a whole new set of problems for poor old Carl. All this is told in narrative story of the “Legend of the Hillbilly Butcher” to three young children by an old man who knows Carl and his murderous history.
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Director Jaoquin Montalvan could be considered the underground doppleganger of Rob Zombie in filmmaking especially in “House of a 1000 Corpses” or “The Devil’s Rejects.” In the “Legend of the Hillbilly Butcher”, all the makings of a Rob Zombie like film are accounted for with the exception of hard rockabilly music. White trash and white trash dialogue? Check. Grindhouse style editing and cinematography? Check. Cannibalism and demon summon horror genre? Check. It isn’t like Montalvan exactly mirror’s Zombie’s films from scene to scene. Montalvan makes this film his own in the subtlety of the work; many of the scenes are low key and not over the top with dialogue and heavy moments of stimulating effects. And the indie director does make this into a bit of a horror comedy. In a number of scenes, the characters will sit across from each other, have a meal or a drink of moonshine, and bullshit in a quippy could of way. End scene.
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The cannibalism story tangent takes a bit of a backseat to the demon that plagues Cary Henry. The quick switch in plot direction is a good, positive change for the Hillbilly Butcher as monotony would set in with the cannibalism plot line. Much of the “meat” effects were a bit scarce and cheesy. The dead bodies were not so realistic. But the quick edited dream sequences of Sam Bakoo and Carl Henry’s visions of Sam Bakoo were intense, surreal, and welcomed. What also helped was the performance from amateur actor Allen East as Sam Bakoo – a scrawny, bald man who can conform with the best of them like Doug Jones from “Hellboy.”
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Another good actor (or actress in this case) is Theresa Holly. A blue eyed, black haired beauty with a bust that would break hearts. Her character Rae Lynn, a friend of Carl Henry, is sweet and tender but when push comes to shove, her salvation lies with her fighting for her life. While there were no nude scenes for her character, Theresa Holly does do some bra and panty scenes in a, and again in a Rob Zombie like way, montage scene.
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With any cannibal archetype or cannibalism film, I expect a lot of gore and with a title like the Legend of the “Hillbilly Butcher”, there comes an expectation that meat would be separated from the bone for consumption. Well, prepared to be mostly disappointed with only one real scene of disembowelment. The scene is fairly gory and intestinally jarring, the movie is practically over by the time we get to this scene. The film does speak more to it’s tone toward placement in the world and in the afterlife; how the good become better and those who do wrong get what they deserve in the end.
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MVDVisual is releasing this 2012 festival hit on September 23rd, 2014 and while I won’t expect this to be flying off the shelves, reaching cult status in a matter of weeks, I do expect a pretty good following for poor old Carl Henry.

Get Into the Evil Spirit! Varsity Blood review!

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A small town pack of football jocks and cheerleaders with a dark secret spend Halloween night at a rundown farmhouse to party until dawn, but a sadistic killer in the school mascot uniform hunts them down one by one. Now their only chance of survival is to rely on each other, but will their dark secret get the better of them?

“Varsity Blood” tries to home in on the slasher saturated 80’s decade and, more or less, hits the mark right on the head with quick quip dialogue, teen angst, nudity, and blood. The killer garnishes a costume, even if the costume is the school mascot of a goofy tribal warrior, but the warrior outfit is simple, dark, and, like aforementioned, tribal which already gives it a ominous feel. Like most iconic slasher movie killers, they all have to brand a signature weapon – Jason had his machete, Myers had his knife, Leatherface had his chainsaw. The Warrier had his axe. Not too many killers carry an axe as a signature weapon and the axe is not overused as the Warrior does implement various methods of death.
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What about the teen group of various mannered jocks, cheerleaders, and other high school patrons of “Varsity Blood?” Like I said before, there is plenty of teen angst – jock wants sex badly, girl is major slut, fat girl tries to prove herself, lots of crying – so there lies enough teenage drama to make white and black pimples to form on your face. Some characters, like the main female lead Hannah (Lexi Giovagnoli) and good-girl Heather (Elyse Bigler), receive good character background, some of the cast are just fillers for the killer to dice up and their deaths become less important and severely fall short of a sympathetic death.

The whole reason why the killer kills is a bit of a joke too. I’m not going to go into more detail, but lets just say that there is an agreement and the one’s side terms are a bit too lame for my liking. The other side has an legitimate excuse for making these teen hooligans into mince meat. I do mean ‘hooligans’ too as the teens don’t learn from their historical depravities that resulted into a terrible accident that they’ll never forget. The past always catches up with them and the warrior makes sure of that.
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Didn’t I mention nudity earlier? You would think nudity would run rampant in a film about cheerleaders getting hacked to bits. Unfortunately, we’re teased to no end as Natalie Peyton and Elle LaMont give nothing but a tease show with covered nudity and bra and panties. However, not all is a total loss. Taylor Moessinger does do a strip show dance and goes topless and you can read my short review of her scenes here.
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The death scenes were relatively tame for a slasher that is suppose to homage the greats, but these deaths weren’t necessarily terrible either. There is great use of practical effects that are pulled off with excellent angle work with the camera and use of camera placement. I’ll give that to Jake Helgren, you might remember from my review of “Bloody Homecoming”, another high school slasher with the same vein.
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Give “Varsity Blood” a try and see how it fits. Room for growth and improvement with the director Helgren, a promising career for sexy leading lady Lexi Giovagnoli, and a great topless scene from the spirited, free loving, always naked model Taylor Moessinger. “Varsity Blood” is now available to own on DVD and VOD from Image Entertainment.

Re-Edited Lycanthrope Evil! President Wolfman review!

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The world should recycle more. Every single plastic bottle, every single piece of cardboard, every single scrap paper, and every piece of jagged edge metal should be recycled and reincarnated for another purpose. The world would be cleaner and less money would be spent on brand new material when perfectly good, slightly used material already exists. This little rant brings me to a film that hits DVD shelves today! “President Wolfman” – a fairly catchy title and my second in a row werewolf review (see Werewolf Rising) – uses and re-edited public domain footage to give birth to an entirely new movie about President John Wolfman, who in the midst of trying to veto a bill that would involve China buying out America and make the land of the free one of China’s colonies, becomes bit by a mystical Native American wolf that transforms him into werewolf. Not just any werewolf, but the Commander-n-Chielf werewolf that will do anything to stop this bill no matter who he has to slaughter.
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One hundred and twelve pieces of stock footage and public domain film was re-edited to create this masterpiece. Most familiar piece of film is “The Werewolf of Washington” from 1973 starring “Quantum Leap” star (no, not Scott Bakula) Dean Stockwell. Stockwell is an actually a White House press reporter, but in Preside Wolfman portrays the President of the United States with the voiceover provided by Marc Evan Jackson. John Wolfman is also portrayed from other various public domain films, none of which I’ve ever seen before nor do I probably care to. If The Werewolf of Washington wasn’t already campy in 1973, then surely, most definitely, absolutely camp-a-licious in this re-edited masterpiece.
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The script written by director Mike Davis (“Sex Galaxy”) can be quite witty and colorful making scenes have life, but there are times when the voiceover is overdone and burnt to a dull, tasteless crisp. However, that is the whole point of this film isn’t it? To turn a mediocre film into something more ridiculous? If so, then Mike Davis went beyond that goal without a shadow of a doubt.
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“President Wolfman” can lose focus at times with non-cohesive splice in scenes that only work to the film’s charm. Even though this film was released in 2012 and won various festival awards from Atlanta Horror, New Orleans Horror, and Alien to Zombies Los Angeles film festivals respectively, “President Wolfman” is finally, about damn time, getting a DVD release from WildEye releasing, a great, great company who know what rare and campy are all about. The DVD, which drops in stores today, also includes commentary, funny short films, out takes, trailers, highlight reel, and a great music video! Lets also not forget that a certain scene of public domain film includes stock footage of a woman giving birth in a backseat of a car! Placenta and all!
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Entertaining B-Movie Evil! “Werewolf Rising” review!

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“Werewolf Rising” revolves around Emma (Melissa Carnell), a big city girl moving back to her secluded childhood home in the country after a long stint of battling alcoholism. But working on keeping her sobriety is a piece of cake compared to the full moon nights as werewolves roam the forest. Her relaxing vacation has turned into a nightmare when the wolves start to hunt her and her secluded getaway home has her trapped.

When I was a young lad, I remember watching old movies where actors dressed up in really bad Ape or Werewolf costumes and they would chase after the damsel in distress as she screams her head off. “Werewolf Rising” welcomed me back to my childhood with a big embracing hug made up of offbeat werewolf makeup and costumes. Nothing wrong with a man (or woman) in a fur coat with a immobile headpiece, but there is something campy in nature about the whole scenario.
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In cahoots with the “classic” costuming, the story and acting are made up of the best b-movie attributes. From Matt Compko’s character Johnny Lee and his goofy-serious posture and speech to Bill Oberst Jr.’s overzealous portrayal of an escaped werewolf convict, B-movie madness is back in full swing. Speaking of Bill Oberst Jr., the veteran B-movie actor is a man on a movie role mission. The guy has way too many upcoming roles on his plate, but with a mug like his, I can see why he can be very versatile to filmmakers. In “Werewolf Rising”, Oberst is one creepy dude covered in blood and mucus – lets just leave it at that.
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After 24 hours of having watched “Werewolf Rising”, I’m still trying to puzzle together to plot. I get that our heroine Emma retreats to her childhood home after a long and hard battle with alcoholism, but what does alcoholism really have to do with werewolves? What’s the parallel there? There seemed to be some underlying message that states drinking an colossal amount of hard alcohol, werewolves (or your demons) will come back into your life or am I reading too much into this B-movie? We see the same kind of alcoholism with the character Wayne played by Brian Berry so I could be correct. A blind squirrel finds a nut every once and awhile.
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For the werewolves, how and why do they come into play? These creatures just happened to appear in the woods at this very particular moment with no explanation. Beatrix, played by Irena Murphy, seems to have some sense of what is going on as she waits in the woods for the beast. Emma involvement has more lycanthrope lineage, but again, the detail is limited and complex that nothing makes any real sense. I can tell you this. These werewolves love to go for the throat, they love to take long runs in the woods, and their red-tinted, nearly blind night vision sucks.
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You have to hand it to writer/director BC Furtney because he was able to bare all with Irena Murphy’s character! But in all seriousness, Furtney tries his hand at direct-to-DVD horror and doesn’t come away exactly breaking even, but there is still some pride to be taken away from this piece of work. “Werewolf Rising’s” cast also includes Taylor Horneman as the man in the werewolf suit and Danielle Lozeau who you might remember completely buff from my review of “Black Water Vampire.” Werewolf Rising will be available to own September 8, 2014 in the uK from Image and RLJ Entertainment.

Book Review: D.A. Stern’s “Black Dawn”

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Discovering ancient gyms in the literature world is like finding $5 in your pocket that you didn’t know you had. The feeling is a rush, an enlightening feature that emits from your soul making you glow with enjoyment. That feeling is so powerful because that means there lies hope and there lies new prospects, in all walks of life, out there for all of us. Coming across D.A. Stern’s novel “Black Dawn” in a second hand book store was a great find amongst the vast rows of books because of the novel’s timeless nature, something we’re all in fear of coming one day, the apocalypse.

“Black Dawn” follows multiple story lines of people, some good of heart and some not so much, when two waves hit. The first wave knocks out all electrical devices much like an E.M.P. does. The second wave sends a rush of anger into the bowels that makes people want to rape, rob, and kill. The story lines eventually connect to a finale that involves awaking an ancient, world ending entity.

Released in October of 2001 (yes, now I feel old), “Black Dawn” could have been read today or thirty years ago and still have the same affect. Why? Part of the agelessness of this book due to the author’s writing style. D.A. Stern’s style is blunt, to the point, and without mercy. Some critics might consider it dry and bland. In hindsight, Stern’s articulation of the events, jumping back and forth from story to story, would have been mass confusion if done in a more colorful, descriptive manner. Just tell me a character was shot and that convey’s the character’s death or seemingly death; this type of writing is perfect for “Black Dawn’s” as it lays down a serious tone.

Also, Demons never seem to go out of style. Though Stern never labels the undead creatures as demons, the idea that a character is killed and then resurrects to doing the bidding of an evil, soon-to-be-awakened threat spells out Demon from afar. The apocalypse happens in stages and so does the outing of each villain and hero creating a grip on your eye balls so you can’t look away from the words that tell how the events unfold.

Certainly a good read and a fast read. Quick, easy, and to the point but still giving you the edge of insanity, fear, and horror which is always refreshing especially since this novel is 13 years old. D.A. Stern wrote a couple of Blair Witch sequel novelization: “Blair Witch:: Graveyard Shift” and “Blair Witch: The Secret Confession of Rustin Parr”