Grade A Evil! Murder University review!

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Enthralled from last week’s viewing of Richard Griffin’s The Disco Exorcist (see review here) that I checked into the player another Griffin film entitled Murder University from 2012. A fairly generic titled college slasher with semi-comedic values that tries to blend in with similar genre slashers such as Urban Legend, House on Sorority Row, Black Christmas, or Sorority House Massacre. Comedy elements separate Murder University from the rest as well as Murder University doesn’t set itself in the present time of which the setting takes place. I’ll dissect Griffin’s film the best I can because my response post viewing teeters back and forth of a thumbs up for pratical effects and homage or thumbs down for storyline and dialogue.

Greensboro University has a notorious reputation for being constructed by a founder who ritualized satanic values and murdered people for years in the late 19th century. In the late 20th century, the New England university is once again plague by the cult-like killers who call themselves the Greesnboro Devils. A survivor of a recent attack and a shunned detective try to hunt down the motives behinds the killings and the secrets of a legacy of killers.
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The upside of Murder University stems from the use of practical special effects. Decapitations became an obvious motif for this film (though there was no reason to explain this and I can only guess that beheadings were a big way to die in the 80s) with a grand total of six axe-chopped decapitations. The detail in the severed heads had high marks as well as other death scenes in the movie. Another throwback from the 80’s is the music and Murder University’s soundtrack certainly have that synth, brit-rock feel in some scenes, but in other scenes, 90’s grunge ruled the screen a long with hairstyles and clothes of a more recent decade.

The downside holds more weight coming from the story and the dialogue. The story comes a part at the seems with lead character Josh Greene as his backstory is intertwined with the murders and to get more of that backstory from his past would have been better than the exposition given nature of who Josh really is destined to be and what Josh is destined to be comes off pointless by default. Was this the divine will of Satan? Were these killers psychotic? What were the motivations? That is the real questions. The dialogue also scores low marks for being off key, choppy, awkward, and explicatively gratuitous. Not everybody is Quentin Taratino and can pull of mouthy vulgarity with ease and the script with Murder University just seems too forced for comfort.
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Jamie Dufault has a solid performance as our hero Josh Greene coming from a nobody in college and transforming to becoming the ultimate domineer in the end, but Nat Silva gives an even more solid performance as the killer (when the killer has dialogue) and Samantha Acampora (Josh’s girlfriend Meg) is certainly the eye candy that we wish would show a little more skin than just her bare ass.

Murder University‘s retro entertainment keeps afloat just under chin level and won’t bore you to death. Richard Griffin is two for two in my little black book of directors and I’ll keep an eye out for more of his material in the future. MVD and Wild Eye Releasing release this Not Rated, widescreen disc with deleted scenes and two commentary tracks. This should be a fairly affordable, tongue-and-cheek horror movie if you’re looking for a cheap, yet entertaining, thrills.

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Trailer Trash: Zombeavers and Lucky Bastard!

Trailer Trash will bring you the hottest, latest horror trash ready to hit the silver and big screens. While I agree with most that trailers spoil mostly the good scenes, I can’t shun my excitement and my passion to share upcoming horror with my (lack of) audience.

Zombeavers

A cabin trip with high hopes of sexual and booze debauchery is turned into a nightmare for survival with the local beaver population is actually an undead horde of deadly beavers that will stop at nothing to taste that sweet, luscious flesh upon their two front teeth.

Lucky Bastard

“Lucky Bastard” porn website searches for the ultimate fan to have sex with his favorite porn star. Within a vacant house filled with CTV cameras, one lucky bastard will have sex dreams fulfilled, but the producers might have bitten more off than they chew with their fan as his fantasies involve more than just sex.

Evil Spares No One! Gutterballs review!

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Somebody should tie my feet together, hang me upside down, put a bag over my head, and just beat the shit out of me with a Louisville Slugger for an hour or two. I held onto the Ryan Nicholson’s Gutterballs DVD for nearly 4 years and just popped the disc into the player this past Wednesday. Gutterballs is a the ultimate 80’s homage to the slasher genre where two rival bowling groups are trapped inside an after hours bowling alley being taken out one by one by a psychotic killer known as BBK – Bowling Bag Killer. Why have gone 1,460 days of not watching Gutterballs? Mostly because I have 2,500+ movies and a wife who doesn’t care much for horror movies. I’m limited to 1 to 2 horror movies a week. Yup, I’m doomed.
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Gutterballs doesn’t just claim to be an 80’s homage, there lies true behind their claim. Though the characters might a bit of annoying, overly zealous, and dislikable, I did find everything else to be quite the throwback. The clothing, the editing, the violence, the special effects – all of these qualities harked back to the glory days. The characters, as I were saying, nearly ruined the whole thing by being over the top and I’m sure these characters are written to be this way, but why? The constant three assholes (one who chuckles for no good reason and I couldn’t wait for him to die), the every girl is a slut, and the outcasts were all well-done in a burnt steak kind of way.
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The nudity was nearly x-rated. We get to see Candice Lewald’s hamburger from behind and there is loads of fake dick sucking and dick disfiguring (turning a penis into a “mangina”). And lets not forget the barrage of gratuitous tit shots. Gutterballs is certifiably NC-17 and for good reason also for the two butt pucker rape scenes that will leave women and men cringing. Nicholson uses mainly schlock and shock value to get through to his audience without much of a plot behind it. The plot here is okay at best, but there lies many holes that need filling between the characters and their histories. More development is needed to give the story some girth, but when you’re creating a film with gallons of blood and naked chicks, I doubt a good story is on your mind because that won’t necessary bring in the big bucks.
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Gutterballs is a definite must for any gore fiend of the 80’s slasher film. Even the poster is rad with the homage to Maniac and the DVD cover is scantily clad with a blooding bowling pin. Gutterballs will make you want to go bowling afterwards, but it will also make you want to protect your all your holes from being invaded. Check this one out or you will strike out!

A..B..C..D..Evil! The ABCs of Death review!

abcsofdeathAbout damn time a way of learning your ABCs by the teaches of death! The ABCs of Death brings together 26 international directors to direct, at their own artistic freedom, their each short film segment. Each director was given a letter and were told to choose a word to title their work with and create a story around that word. The individual segments are not your typical horror thrillers about death and what I mean by that is that you don’t have a vampire segment, a slasher segment, etc. Death can come in any way, shape, or form and is certainly explored every single way in this fatal anthology.

I’d like to start off with my favorite segment which is entitled “D is for Dogfight” directed by Marcel Sarmiento, who you might remember from his direction work on Deadgirl and it’s been a little bit since that project! “D is for Dogfight” simply pits a man versus a vicious dog in an underground “fight club” style face-off. The short film is shot nearly without dialogue and the twist ending will leave you more with a sinister grin rather than a shock on your face. The man versus dog fight is excellent when done in slow motion with every dog punch and every bite to the arm or leg just as real as you would see on any animal attack video on RealTV.

Those Japanese directors again....

Those Japanese directors again….


The worst videos have to come from the Japanese, especially the one entitled “F is for Farts” directed by Noboru Iguchi. Iguchi did Machine Girl which is ultra-violet and just brutally stupid in a good way, but then Iguchi followed up later on with Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead and, well, yeah. By The ABCs of Death title alone, you can tell he hasn’t expanded his horizon’s much further. The whole episode, which lasts no more than four or five minutes, is about stinky, women farts. The comedy element I get, but the death part I do not and nor will I ever. Maybe I’m just not Japanese educated enough to learn the history behind Japan’s wackiness.
CLAYMATION!!!!

CLAYMATION!!!!

There are other really cool segments (Timo’s Tjahjanto’s “L is for Libido”) and other silly toilet humor death segments (Anders Morgenthaler’s “K is for Klutz”). This anthology is unique because you get a taste of everything, of every culture, of every opinion with no restraint and with no influence. Creativity is boundless and that is what is more outstanding here than most of the segments and you won’t get bored which is great! I can’t wait for The ABCs of Death 2 and the anticipation is killing me – wait – that should be in the sequel – “A is for Anticipation.”

The ABCs of Death is distributed by Magnolia Home Entertainment.

Biological Evil Warfare! Mold! Review!

mold2Mold is already disgusting to begin with. Mold can ruin a good chunk of your favorite cheese. Mold can grow on anything that has a short shelf life. Mold can kill you if you live with it for too long in the same room. So, the obvious thing to do is to make a movie about killer mold, am I right? Director Neil Meschino and writer Dave Forgerson set out and completed just that where genetically engineered mold would cripple cities, states or even countries under military supervision, but when the mold is purposefully released in the small confines of the research facility, the unlucky scientists and military personnel inside must hold their breath or else the mold eat them from the inside out. In the great state of satire, MOLD! is a horror comedy that digests easily and continues to provide fun throughout.

When making a movie about killer mold, the movie must be comical, excessive, and over-the-top or else you’re going to bore an audience to death without the help of the killer mold. That being said, MOLD! is gooey, oozy, and slimy with no apologies being rancid and disgusting in every since of the words. You can’t expect anything less because you can only get down and gritty with mold that is why when people get rid of mold, they have to wear protective suits and air respirating masks. In MOLD!, when the substance gets inside you, you’re inside melts, your skin peels off, your organs turn to mush – this stuff is nasty!
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MOLD! reminds me a little bit of the 2006 Shock-O-Rama Cinema film Bacterium. Like the mold in Neil Machino’s flick, the contagium in Bacterium turns each host into a pile of ooze. Bacterium is not as fun as MOLD! Bacterium is not a creative as MOLD! But both films deal with the issue of killer bacteria and MOLD! produces a better product that is not only spatter-tastic but also funny and entertaining. Pick up MOLD! from MVD and you won’t be disappointed – you just might be infected!
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