Fear The Future. Metro: 2033 Review

Metro-2033

Well here I am doing another late review, this one being 5 years late but I just finished my first playthrough of the game and I feel the game needs more publicity since it still isn’t that well known. Before we go on with the review I want to tell the reader that there is a HD remaster version of this game on PC, PS4, and XBOX ONE. This review will not include that version. Review will only be on the version released back in 2010.

Metro: 2033 is a post-apocalyptic survival horror game. Developed by 4A Games and published by THQ on March 2010. The game is based on the science fiction novel by Dmitry Gluhvsky. The game takes place in Moscow in the year 2033, 20 years after a nuclear war that has devastated the world and has forced the survivors to live in the Moscow metro stations.

Since the game’s release I never thought much of it. I thought it was just a cheap game trying to get success after Fallout 3 and Fallout New Vegas, I never even heard a single person talk about it. When the sequel Metro last light was coming out I started to hear more about Metro 2033 and that it was good. I was still not sold but of course I guess waiting proved to be good since I got this game free a few months ago during a giveaway. So I finally downloaded it on steam and started playing. While playing I started to have regret for not picking this game up sooner, I was totally immersed into the game. First I would like to talk about the atmosphere of the game, It is amazing, one of the best atmospheric games I have ever played. From the old, dark metro stations to the silent, scorched surface of Moscow. Everything around you made the experience of the game very enjoyable, especially the feeling of sadness and gloom I had while on the surface looking at a destroyed city and wondering what it was like before the apocalypse.

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Game play is simple and easy to learn, pretty much feels like a standard shooter but as for difficulty this game can be brutal. Even on normal difficulty I had a very hard time at certain moments and If you plan to play on ranger mode then you better hope you have a tolerance for dying over and over. Now for what you can do in the game is limited. Through your journey you will stop at multiple stations where you’ll be able to purchase or sell equipment. You can trade in ammo for currency, buy supplies, and buy better modified weapons which can fit your certain play style. You want to hide in the shadows and be stealthy? Buy a suppressed revolver or sub machine gun or if you are a shooter then buy the bad ass automatic shotgun machine gun thing. In the metro of course there are hostiles both mutants and humans that you will have to fight through. You have your standard mutants who crawl through the metro hunting you down. Then you have your Nazi and Soviet parties both at war with each other over different stations.

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The graphics are very well down, the environments are detailed and very nice to look at. NPC characters do look generic but none of it really effects the game. Now if you planning to play this game on PC please check the requirements for the game as it is a little demanding. I had to put the game on low settings just to get a decent frame rate. But if you do not have a decent PC then I would say try it out on XBOX 360

So for my final thoughts on Metro 2033 I’m going to give it a 8/10 score. It is a very good game, not much of a horror but a damn good science fiction. I highly recommend this game to people who love post-apocalyptic movies, games, books, etc. It is an amazing title. Before you play this title I must tell you, If you want the best experience of this game then please switch the language to Russian with american subtitles and have it atleast on normal. I promise you, you will be immersed in the game like I was.

Metro: 2033 (Original version) is only on PC, and XBOX 360

Quick Pic: Night of the Living Snowmen!

In honor of all the snow that is hitting the northeast, these snowmen might as well be alive and knocking at the foot of your door!

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Pornstar Priya Rai Couldn’t Erect this Evil! “Isis Rising: Curse of the Lady Mummy” review!

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King Osiris and his black magic queen Isis rule ancient Egypt and were beloved by all. All except Osiris’s brother Set whose envy led to the murderous slain of Osiris. Isis, heartbroken and vengeful, tries to use her black magic to rise Osiris from the grave and seek revenge on all who wished their demise. In the middle of Isis’s ritual, Set interrupts and decides to dismember his brother’s body in order for the ritual not come to fruition and snaps Isis’s neck to ensure his will, but Isis’s vow to return and curse anyone who stands in her way. Present day, a college research group along side an Egyptian historian stay overnight at a closed history museum to study closely lost Egyptian artifacts. Isis’s spirit is accidentally released from her sarcophagus and seeks to finish what she began by taking the body parts from the research students in order to reconstruct the body her love Osiris and put the world into an eternal damnation.

“Isis Rising: Curse of the Lady Mummy” resembles the much loved late night Cinemax skin flicks without any of the nudity or the sex. All the elements are there: busty women, bad acting, and the underlined plot that is overshadowed by the soft core love scenes. From the DVD cover and the two well established porno industry actors in this film, one would, without a doubt, conclude that “Isis Rising” would fall right into the middle of that sleazy category. What the Lisa Palenica directed film is is a C-movie production that attempts to take itself seriously in the horror genre with completed results that are whole-heartedly felt in micro-budget, non-horrific, and non-stimulating, efforts.
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Priya Rai is a big busted porn star of Indian background and she headlines the film as the vengeful Isis and while Priya isn’t riding the big Egyptian camel hump, her role is severely limited in dialogue and in on screen appearances. Isis’s powers include turning into a digestible body inhabiting mist, fireball conjuring, and teleportation, but Isis’s real threats are her massive chest bombs – bigger and pointier than the great Egyptian pyramids themselves. To be technical about the film’s title, Isis isn’t even a mummy. Yet the film’s subtitle is “Curse of the Lady Mummy.” The definition of mummy is the preservation of the body by removing internal organs and treat the body with resins and wraps. Isis is more like a spiritual demon and this oil should ought to be bettered labeled and regarded as “Curse of the Lady Egyptian” rather than “Curse of the Lady Mummy.” That is, if you wanted to be technical.
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James Bartholet, mainly a supporting actor in all those XXX parody movies, makes his presence felt as the bumbling and perverted security guard Harry. The rest of the cast is rounded out with relatively unknowns with minor film credits to their names. Director Lisa Palenica also had a role in the film as Felicia, the goth girl who probably received one of the better death scenes in the movie. The characters are a rather stereotypical horror ensemble. There is the jock, the nerd, the hot chick, her goth-hipster friend, the nerdy asian girl, and pot head who ends up smoking the resurrection essence that awakens Isis from her slumber dooming all to savagry, as well as seductively, of detaching limbs and heads from the characters’ bodies. The only character that has girth and background value is Isis with her tragic backstory filled with treachery and black magic. Killing off characters is a lot more understandable when there is a motive.
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The special effects are truly shameful, especially in a time where CGI has been perfected to the point where anybody with a Mac computer can create stunning effects. “Isis Risings” doesn’t even seem to try by implementing seriously awkward post-CGI effects, Halloween prop store plastic severed limbs, and even going as far as adding in fake exhaled smoke from our essence-high smokers. Some of the Egyptian scenes in the beginning reminded me of how Mortal Kombat 1 and 2 looked on a Sega Genesis console with the still background and the engaged, superimposed fighters. Some of the more practical effects where encouraging, but only a few scenes had those types of effects.
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“Isis Rising: Curse of the Lady Mummy” resurrects another disappointment in the ever-failing Egyptian related horror genre. When will Brendan Frasier’s “The Mummy” ever be dethroned? Perhaps Alexandre Aja’s “The Pyramid” will be the next ruler of such said genre. Tom Cat Films, a production company much like Asylum Entertainment, develops the film into reality but “Isis” fails to wrap itself into a neat little mummified package of terror. I would rather have seen more of Priya Rai conducting ominously seductive measures in her quest of blood and resurrection and a little more effort in the effects, because if you’re going to have a porn star headline your film, you might as well go all Sasha Grey-out and make the experience worth wild. But don’t take my word for it and judge for yourself by heading over to MVDVisual and purchasing “Isis Rising: Curse of the Lady Mummy.”

Ancient Evil: “The Other” review!

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Niles and Holland Perry are close twin siblings who live on a countryside farm in the early 20th century. Their family has been plagued by past personal tragedy that has mentally paralyzed their mother. When everything starts to feel normal again, death returns to the farmhouse and nobody suspects that the two boys, the twins, because who would imagine that one boy would be good and the other would be pure evil?

“The Other” a 1972 gothic gem from the “To Kill A Mockingbird” director Robert Mulligan brought back to DVD in the UK by Eureka Entertainment. The ageless story of uncomfortable fear toward the yin and yang characters with a good twist that doesn’t happen at the end of the movie but rather lands right in the middle of the climax. The finale saves the best, or the most tragic, for last with a moment that will shock even those born in the 21st century. Even when you know, from your extensive movie knowledge, what to expect you can’t believe the stunning outcome written by Tom Tryon who also penned the novel with the same title.

The twins are played by real life twins Chris and Martin Udvarnoky and this throws us for a loop because you rarely see the twins sharing the same scene. Right there, you know something is up. The Perry boys are characters that are active, like any other nine or ten year old boys, and seemingly innocent enough boys with the usual boys will be boys touch. Their knack for fishing, hide-n-go seek, and swimming try to pull our attention away from one of the boy’s true mischievous nature.

Along side Chris and Martin Udvarnoky, German stage actress Uta Hagen plays the boys’ Russian grandmother who becomes the matriarch when their mother becomes almost catatonic. Another supporting cast member is a young John Ritter in one of his first films and a striking Diana Muldaur who looks almost unrecognizable from her role as Doctor Pulaski from the sci-fi TV series “Star Trek: The Next Generation.”

Eureka Entertainment’s dual format (DVD & Blu-ray) of “The Other” has beautiful 1080p even off a cheap DVD player as long as you have a decent high definition TV (my personal TV is a Vizio LED M series). The extras only include the theatrical trailer, but I believe the film will speak for itself and you can judge for yourself on the film’s February 23rd release date in the UK.

Evil Does a Body Good! “Milk the Maid” review!

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Ruriko’s family is on steep decline: Ruriko’s fooing around with other men, her husband has no job, and their son Koichi may or may not be accepted to Tokyo University. Money is tight, tensions are high, and then it all changes when Ruriko brings home Milk, a self-declared baby angel looking to get back to Heaven. Koichi and his dad believes Milk is annoying and needs to be committed, but when Milk is presented to live with the Tokyo family, nobody can resist her innocent sex appeal and mystical charm.
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Oh my goodness. Tia is an absolute beautiful AV model who has only been in the Japanese porn business for 3 years. Her exotic red hair, massive succulent H cup, and slender tight body creates Tia to be the center of gravity in “Milk the Maid.” Her innocent act as a baby angel looking to make her way back to Heaven from God’s approval, but first she much help those around her “reach heaven” first. You can imagine the troubles the male characters, Koichi and his father, go through are quickly extinguished and they see their fateful path to enlightenment. Supporting female cast members Mirei Yokoyama, another tight big breasted Japanese AV wonderment, and Ayum, a lesser known AV model but none-the-less still cute, round out this zany erotic comedy. The film opens with Mirei Yokoyama working it on a man; her absolutely gorgeous body had me convinced that she was the “star” of the film until I saw Tia. The exotic red hair and light skin and the cutesy fantasy-like appeal certainly outshines the rest of the cast.
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Though “Milk the Maid” ignites into a pretty common, yet spectacular, Japanese wacky erotic comedy – still quite hilarious at points – the characters do go through a rough patch and work through Milk’s heavenly-body ways in order to rekindle the lost spark back into the family and help them rediscover love. Another point to love this film is the sex scenes. Most pink films I’ve seen conjoin two people who seem to be contending on who can over sex the other. That’s not the case here as the sensual scenes are more, well, normal for lack of a better word. They’re still very sexy without creating an awkward viewing experience.
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“Milk the Maid” is another great hit and recent release for the pinkusploitation empire Pink Eiga. Long time pink film director Motosugu Watanabe strikes panty wet gold! Being one of the most revealing pink films that I’ve ever seen, I’m glad Tia had honed onto my radar and is now a object of my dreams. Catch this DVD either at your local video store’s back room or, and a much easier more convenient way, purchase it directly at Pink Eiga.com!