Comedy has lost one of the greats – a Ghostbuster – Harold Ramis (aka Egon Spengler). Ramis died yesterday due to an autoimmune disease. Ghostbusters I and II are staples in the horror comedy world and Egon Spengler is an iconic character we all loved even with his quirks. RIP Egon.
RIP Harold Ramis
An Ireland countryside becomes the victim of a mutated strain of Mad Cow disease that is infectious and sends the victims into a blood thirsty, violence fit of rage. A small band of survivors race across the land looking for a safe haven, but with nearly everyone infected, a safe place is hard to find.
You just don’t see too many Irish horror movies and you probably will see not another one ever again. Dead Meat has to be the worst and the best Irish zombie film of the last three decades, but I’m not totally knocking Dead Meat because there are positives about the Conor McMahon written and directed film that can’t go ignored. First, practical effects, like the ones used in Peter Jackson Dead Alive, are always the best way to go because a shovel through someone’s chest or a vacuum sucking out an eye ball just doesn’t seem that convincing to me. If I want to want animated television, I’ll watch cartoons on Saturday morning. Real effects stem from the talents of the special effects crew consisting of Roy Gleasure, Brendan Fahy, and Jonathan Graham. Graham has had his hands in other major, more recent films such as Pacific Rim, Resident Evil: Retribution, and the remake of RoboCop as a mold maker.
The Fangoria Gorezone, one of the very few ever endorsed by Fangoria back in the day, film however doesn’t have a great story in which the survivors just wonder through the countryside looking for a supposedly safe castle to take shelter. The group whittles down through each passing “zombie” horde and bash and thrash through the madness. Dead Meat might not have suffered too much if one could comprehend thick Irish accents. The accents were so thick I couldn’t make out sentences. This should serious flaw the film for other viewers, but following the story was a challenge and very taxing on the ears and mind.
In all, there lies good and there lies mediocracy with Dead Meat. The obvious stand out points of the film are that the film is an Irish horror film and uses practical and great effects. The downside is the lack of story and a good solid core to give our characters, even our hero and heroine, some depth. Frankly, the characters could have all bit the dust without a tear shed on my part. Dead Meat is not a new film and has been out for over a decade, but certainly worth a gander and wouldn’t hurt to be Irish to get some kind of understanding out of it all.
Today, I came across a film entitled Don’t Fuck in the Woods and if you’re a die hard horror fan, you know that fucking in the woods (or in any horror scenario) will get you killed – reference Scream (1996). The synopsis is simple enough as a group of graduating friends take a debauchery camping trip to celebrate where things go horrifically wrong.
The “creature feature” labeled project is still in the pre-production fundraiser stage with shooting beginning Summer 2014. Writer and director Shawn Burkett has been involved in similar projects such as Midsummer Nightmares, Bludgeon, and Theater of the Deranged II. But what is most appealing about DFITW is the recent casting. Ayse Howard is the first name on the casting list and has worked with Burkett on numerous occasions. Apparently, TheDirty states she is a big slut (), but I’m a positive person and she looks like a great “slut” to hangout with. I see potential nudity written all over her character.
Ayse Howard
The second cast member is Suicide Girl Deziree Angel. This gauged out gal will be making her film debut with Don’t Fuck in the Woods. Garuanteed nudity? Who knows? But there is one aspect of her life that I can tell and that is that this Angel doesn’t dig guys and, perhaps, would care for a role where a one-on-one female scene would be required? We could only be so lucky, but I’m glad Angel is branching out from SG and making headlines as an actress.
Diziree Angel (left)
Prior to my viewing of Black Water Vampire, the conclusion that I’ve succumb to will tell that I’m one reviewer who thinks found footage horror has been well used and abused through the valleys of independent film to the hills of the Hollywood mainstream market. Though the technique has been ridden hard through the past decade, the touch of realism can still be felt. Black Water Vampire doesn’t stray too far from it’s found footage ancestors as far as horror elements in these types of movies go, but what Black Water Vampire may be weak on, their strength lies with in the producing of bone-chilling and fear-inducing effects that turn your perspective on vampire films to a whole different direction.
Over numerous decades, four women went missing on December 21st and found several days later, dead and drained of blood, near the Black Water Creek. An aspiring journalist enlists three of her friends to create a documentary on the killings and to prove to the world that suspected killer and death row inmate Raymond Banks has been unjustly locked up for the four murders. Their investigation leads them into more than what they expected – a more dangerous and darker path has been set at the stake of their lives.
Freshman director Evan Tramel sets up Black Water Vampire nicely as a true documentary, interviewing friends and families of the victims, asking retired case workers about the investigation of the past victims, having a one-on-one chat with inmate Raymond Banks, and even trekking to the snowing hills of Black Water to capture the essence of Banks’ isolated cabin. This set up takes about a good portion of the film and though typically this might be the dullest part of the movie, the beginning is a good set up for these characters: Danielle – a passionate journalist looking for the truth, Andrea – a producer who feels compelled about the unfair persecution of Raymond Banks, Anthony – a camera man looking to get paid, and Robin – a friend helping out a friend. Funny enough is that all the characters’ names are actually the names of the actors too: Danielle Lozeau, Andrea Adams, Anthony Russell, and Robin Allen.
When all hell goes loose and things get berserk, the investigators discover a true vampire, bat-like humanoid, hunting them down for more than just to feed. The cat and mouse game between predator and prey had me going, but when the bat creature feels the need to reproduce is where I get a little weary about the story. An atomically frightening atmosphere being isolated in a snow-filled forest, but when you start introducing a horny vampire and a conspiracy notions, a viewer will tend to forget what they’re watching and start to wonder what the hell and why the hell their watching. This feeling succumbs at the movie’s end and though I found solace in an original ending, I couldn’t help to think the pain other viewers, especially red blooded horror fans, would think about this ending.
The acting was par for the course and the actors did a good enough to job to pass for scared shitless, but I found the vampire to be the real star. Brandon DeSpain‘s performance as the creature of the night could scare the pants off Van Helsing himself. DeSpain’s vampire was relentless, none compassionate, visceral, and animalistic. I had a hard to time trying to piece together the relation between the specific date of December 21st and the vampire’s killings. Why the first day of solstice? The acting becomes a little drowned out by other plot mysteries such as a homeless woman wondering the woods and doesn’t speak to the investigators. Her presence and the “oh geez” ending are never explained and there were no breadcrumbs given to help explain.
Image Entertainment brings this unique take of vampire horror to UK DVD on March 24. Check it out and come to a conclusion yourself, but be forewarned that you’ve never experienced a vampire film like this one. Don’t let the Image Entertainment cover fool you with a big breasted woman being covered in blood as there lies nothing similar to that at all in the film.
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