Mobsters Can’t Stomach EVIL in “Witness Infection” reviewed! (Freestyle Digital Media / Digital Screener)

Two rival mafia families are moved mistakenly into the same small California city as part of a Witness Protection Agency relocation.  In order to avoid an all-out territory war between the two sides, who are already busting at the seams of confrontation, the two families devise an arranged marriage of peace between one kingpin’s beautiful daughter and another’s withdrawn from the family business son, Carlo, who rather work as a dog groomer with his friend Gina, but when a new sausage food truck starts selling out of their popular menu items with tainted ground meat, the overstuffed and gastrointestinal suffering customers turn into blood hungry zombies running rampant on the streets.  After Carlo and his friends nearly escape the clutches of an angry mob boss after refusing his daughter’s hand in marriage, his troubles didn’t end there as they must now trek through the zombie-infested town and battle hordes of the undead to save his own flesh and blood before they down a family size portion of contaminated Italian sausages and meatballs. 

Mafia families and the undead go together, right?  The two factions clash in a Guido versus zombie horror-comedy “Witness Infection” from a script by Nickelodeon-animation voice actor, Carlos Alazraqui, who had entertained many mid-thirty-something-year-olds in voicing Rocko from “Rocko’s Modern Life” and comedy writer Jill-Michele Melean of the “Zombie Marriage Counseling” shorts and “MADtv”.  At the helm is director Andy Palmer who, in the past, directed generically titled B-horror flicks with familiar names and faces, such as Courtney Gains (“Children of the Corn”), Danielle Harris (“Halloween 4 & 5” franchise), Robert Englund (“Nightmare on Elm Street”), and Clint Howard (“Evilspeak”).  For the pun-driven “Witness Infection,” Palmer finds much of his muses elsewhere in the form of voice actors exposing themselves (in a non-perverted way, you sickos!) for a mezza morta borgata!  Voice talent, ranging from “The Boondocks,” to the “Extreme Ghostbusters,” to the original “Inspector Gadget,” run in unison with an over-the-top bambino in the zombie cache, arranging a small time hit of laughs and gasses with some respectable gore moments submerged in the bloody sauce.  Produced by Alazraqui, Melean, and Warner Davis, co-owner of Petri Entertainment with Andy Palmer that serves as production company alongside Mob Goo Productions. 

Robert Belushi, yes, that iconic and distinct surname is the one and the same of his father Jim Belushi, stars as Carlo, a disinterested mob family son who wants nothing to do with organized crime and wants everything to do with living a normal, loving life.  The narrative plays into Carlo being protected by his mob boss father by shielding him from the unsavory and cutthroat dealings of mafia life, but when his father can no longer protect his dog grooming son, Carlo is thrust into an arranged marriage with the daughter of a rival family.  Belushi isn’t his father and doesn’t have the wily charm that can snap into macho in an instant; instead, the “Devil’s Due” actor enacts a softer side in a story crowded full of uncouth wise guys. Carlo is also a man caught between two worlds as a man who would do anything for family, but also standing up for his convictions and Belushi connects with Carlo’s tug-a-war discord. Jill-Michele Melean writes herself a character in Gina, Carlo’s pet grooming colleague studying to be a veterinarian. Gina’s the insinuated love interest championing Carlo’s fateful decision. Melean mixes chummily stepping into the love interest role who then characteristically goes into a tailspin arc to be in one instance frightened by a severed deer head but then okay with bashing the head’s in of undead acquaintances in the next. Together, the chemistry between Belushi and Melean felt flat with a more of a friendship zone interplay. Granted, “Witness Infection” doesn’t flaunt a range of emotional drives to feed off of in a clearly spaced three act story of assertion in not participating in an arranged marriage, a bar stronghold attack, and a race back home to save his family from deadly digestion and concluding with what’s finally a big spark between Gina and Carlo in their, what once, platonic relationship. Casting also stars an unforgettable comedian lineup beginning with this actress’s voice you know, but who you’ve rarely in Tara Strong (“Extreme Ghostbusters”), the versatile Maurice LaMarche (“Inspector Gadget”), the multitalented Carlos Alazraqui (“Rocko’s Modern Life”), one part comedian and one part break dancer Bret Ernst (“Cobra Kai”), and rounding out with Vince Donvito, Erinn Hayes, and Monique Coleman as the foxy anti-token, anti-trope black woman who won’t be just another unnecessary death in another horror movie.

What first popped out at me is “Witness Infection” using severe flatulence as a goofy symptom of turning into a boil-laden and baggy-eyed zombie.  An immediate turn off by the fart and poop gags after eating the tainted sausage that pays a disparaging homage to Jersey’s cultural culinary cuts of meat has the viewing pleasure be huffed at at the thought of getting through yet another zombie film using passing gas to get a comedic rise.  Luckily, and to my surprise, the initial buildup of the outbreak happens all at once, like a switch being turned on, and then the conventional chaos of zombie madness ensues and farting is left in the wind.  However, “Witness Infection” only garners a few chortles in a flat and tired banter and slapstick comedy.   Much can be said the same about the rest of the story that has Carlo, Gina, and cousin Vince go through what feels like a redundant motions of survival action against a mass creature attack, such as an assault on a bar stronghold where they encounter a blaxploitation vixen, Rose, in a fully-fledged satirical scene that barely cups the intended result with an unnecessarily pitstop with heavy exposition that brings no motivation to the characters.  Not all fails to impress as the clash with the undead dependably aggressive, especially when James Ojala’s special effects poke through with an eye-catching overly violent money shot.  Ojala, who has worked on “Dead Birds” and “Thor,” delivers a really impressive head-ripping decapitation scene involving a toilet seat and lots of blood.  The only downside to the scene is that most of it hit the cutting room floor, leaving only a milliseconds of material to be left in awe.  Though the zombies snarl asynchronously loud with the action and sound like one of the Tiger King’s famished big cats, the makeup is economically slicked on but does the job nonetheless. 

Strong, eclectic performances and the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it gore keeps Andy Palmer’s “Witness Infection” as a bat-swinging, deer-eating, head-smashing horror-comedy not to miss, capisce!  Freestyle Digital Media distributes the film come March 30th on Video-on-Demand and on Digital HD platforms, such as iTunes and Google Play, with a runtime of 82 minutes.  A Panasonic EVA 1 camera was used to shoot the film under the cinematic eye of Filip Vandewal’s stabilizing safe mode approach by not being too adventurous with the camera work, but there are some nicely framed scenes that pull together the actors during confrontational and down to the earth moments with a prime example being Carlo and his father running through the stern discussion, for the first time, of arranged marriage with a rival crime boss’s daughter who is dating his brother but because his brother is sterile, he can’t have children, ergo an heir to the mafia family.  Along with the solid acting from Belushi and despite some continuity mistakes in the scene, the backdoor being open and also being closed then back to open again, the blunt pleasantries that captures firm love between the two of them is sincerely present.  As far as bonus scenes go, there were zero bonus scenes during and after the credits.  “Witness Infection” chips away at the zombie genre’s plodding wall with a pin hammer dink by stirring in Mafioso drama and diabolical flashes of gore.   

Evil Wants to Make a Triple Feature! “The House with 100 Eyes” review!

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Anything goes in Hollywood, California and anybody can be a star. Just ask amateur filmmakers Ed and Susan, an average middle class married couple, who are searching the streets, scouting for their three actors to star in Ed and Susan’s Red Studios produced snuff film. Ed is hellbent on making his next film a never before seen triple feature – three kills in one night. After days of scouting the streets and coming up with no potential stars, Ed and Susan finally happen upon three homeless youths and offer them $500 each to star in, what the believe to be, just a harmless porno film. Things don’t go as planned as what was suppose to be Ed’s perfect triple feature night turns to be a nightmare for all parties involved. The story is told through Ed’s staged house cameras and the cameras have a night of death to tell.

I’ve only experienced one other Jay Lee directed movie prior to “The House with 100 Eyes” and that was with “Zombie Strippers!” starring Robert Englund and Jenna Jameson and while I solely purchased that title for personal entertainment and didn’t write up a review, I remember “Zombie Strippers!” being ridiculously gory. Jay Lee hasn’t strayed too far from his element with “The House with 100 Eyes” and teams up with co-director and lead actor Jim Roof (who had a part in “Zombie Strippers!”) to bring gore and shock to a mockumentary about creating a snuff film.
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Unlike anything I’ve ever seen before, “The House with 100 Eyes” labels itself as horror-comedy, but in reality, the overtone deems itself more factual about the human condition. Married couple Ed and Susan couldn’t be any more realistically different; Ed is a sadistic psychopath who gets off on his addiction of suffering and murder while Susan’s more organized, structured, and satisfies her desires through death by poisoning. Not much information is explicitly given about Ed or Susan except tidbits shared by each character through self interview commentary; Ed grew up torturing animals and watching their reactions through the results of his torment while Susan went through a string of abusive husbands and her torment feels more man-made. Now while I’ve just described two very disturbed individuals, their marriage couldn’t be any more comically stereotypical; small marital spouts, sexual frustrations, “happy homemaker” wife, etc. Ed and Susan even have a pet – a young female victim named Maddie who had all her limbs severed and is probably going through Stockholm Syndrome with Ed and Susan. The comedy element is their marriage as it’s actually not a facade for making a horrific snuff film.
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The gore brings the viewer back to the subject matter of the film and the effects couldn’t be anymore gut wrenching. Ed’s torture chair has to be the most frightful part of story, strapping in his victims and just going to town on them with whatever tool inspires him. Ed slices, dices, breaks, guts, hammers, and chisel aways until the very last breath and his merciless demeanor, conveyed very well by Jim Roof, sells icy cold-heartiness. While Jay Lee didn’t linger too much on the gory scenes, Lee’s ability to inflict the anguish of the quick shots by implementing screeching audio interference from one of Ed’s stand cams, heightening the reflection of pain of torture. Ed is well complimented by his wife Susan, portrayed by Shannon Malone, who is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Susan might be pleasant and even tempered when compared to Ed, but once the sweet kiss of death reaches near her nostrils, she can’t help herself to take it upon herself to inject a vicious, blood-vomit inducing poison into her prey. This makes Susan just as deadly, if not more so, than Ed.
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Now while I might be putting “The House with 100 Eyes” on a tall pedestal, I’m not too pleased with the intentional censorship of nudity. The purpose of Ed’s snuff film is for sexual gratification; he wants the double whammy of dirty sex and grisly murder. When the two lovers, Clutch and Jamie, remove their clothing, their privates are censored by close up framing or blurring out techniques. The censorship practice puts a damper on the film’s ugly subject matter, dumbing down and unbalancing the violence and the nudity. The way the filmmakers worked around this was a heed before the presentation that Ed’s tapes were all made public to expose, which the authorities thought were a hoax, the atrocities of Ed and Susan but the victim’s humility was to be kept intact.
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Another miscue for me was the open ending, leaving the conclusion up for interpretation. I’m usually one for open endings, but the way “The House with 100 Eyes” set itself up in the beginning with the “public release” should have forcibly led to a closed ending, wrapped in a nice little red bow. The ending considers the audience to be left frightened or wondering if their support for the victims will be justified, but the ending was more of an abrupt cut away from what could have been a more effective, plot defining ending.

The Artsploitation Films DVD release runs an unrated 76 minute feature presented in a 1.78:1 widescreen transfer through many digital cameras accompanied by 5.1 surround mix. The film looked sharp and clear with only minor digital noise interference during some of the more darker scenes. The well-placed screeching audio was a nice touch for fear effect, but does become a bit ear-stiffening after prolonged use. On the inside of the DVD casing, a note from the directors Jay Lee and Jim Roof give you a bit of insight on what to expect and don’t sugar coat about the dark comedy. It’s purely a film about absolute evil.
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Overall, Jim Lee and Jay Roof along with a solid cast deliver a cringe-worthy found footage mockumentary that mind behind the eyes of the malevolent and being very happy to do so with a evil smirk on their faces. Make sure you send your kids to be early before viewing the Artsploitation Films’ release of “The House with 100 Eyes.”