Evil Will Eat Your Face! Bath Salt Zombies review!

!!!Pre-order!!! http://www.bathsaltzombies.com/ !!!Pre-order!!!

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Almost a year ago, do you remember the real life face-eating cannibal Rudy Eugene due to, unconfirmed, street drug nicknamed “bath salts?” Eugene basically left his disabled vehicle near a Miami causeway, stripped completely butt-ass naked, and assaulted one Ronald Poppo by beating him down to the ground, stripping off his homeless man trousers, and proceeding to munch on the upper portion of his face. A real life zombie? Most likely not, but the more probably cause would be high as a kite on drugs, making him insane and almost superhuman-like. Reportedly, the attack went on for nearly 20 minutes and police even shot Eugene four times.

Not in the film, but I wanted you to have an idea of what to expect!

Not in the film, but I wanted you to have an idea of what to expect!

A year later, ambitious filmmakers came together with the “Miami Zombie” inspiration in mind and made a highly exaggerated, or was it, loosely based film about drug addicts turning into face biting zombies after smoking a bath salt resembler that is actually concocted from a highly toxic, military grade, weaponized substance that somehow mysteriously disappeared from the military’s inventory. Hot on the destructive addict’s tail is a relentless DEA agent who will stop at nothing to put an end to reign of bath salt terror!

Who are these ambitious filmmakers? And how the hell did they pull off a great fun and creative movie about the bath salt “Miami Zombie?” First off, the team of creators and actors behind that fantastic little Faustian film Night of the Tentacles were involved! Dustin Wayde Mills, whom very uncanny in looks and voice resembles Red State director Kevin Smith, directs, co-wrote, and also co-stars as the money hungry mad scientist behind the bath salt concoction. Night of the Tentacles lead man Brandon Salkil who is comically animated and has great facial features for film. Secondly, my main man Clint Weiler produced and co-wrote Bath Salt Zombies. Clint is also a head hancho over at MVD, a major home entertainment distributor for music and DVD video!

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Bath Salt Zombies combines 300 with Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. You have the epic fight scenes, done very well by the way with well done choreographs by co-star Jason Eal (DEA agent), with the Scott Pilgrim like animations that turn a cheesy premises into the next big indie cult film – the next Dead Next Door comes to mind. Now, I could be wrong, but I found that Bath Salt Zombies paid homage to a couple of other notable horror and action icons such as the first Resident Evil video game in the mini-cartoon intro at the beginning reminded me of first appearance of a zombie and the subway fight finale reminded me of Neo and Agent Smith duking it out in the first Matrix. However, Bath Salt Zombies delivers more blood and more creative style with the budget.

What I really wanted more from this film was Erin R. Ryan’s twins in the shower. Along with Ryan’s ta tas, Bath Salt Zombies offers other perks such as a fully frontal 4 minute scene of DeviantArt and Model Mayhem model Bella Demente! You also have a great punk Soundtrack to go along with the spew of blood, the elastic internal organs, the dismembered body parts, and the multiple decapitations. I highly recommend this movie to any comedy, horror, or drug addict fan because Bath Salt Zombies entertains with a blood, boobs and banter that hasn’t been this witty for a indie film in such a long, long time! Well played!


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Vampires Can Be Your Evil Saviors! The Caretaker Review!

The-CaretakerDon’t quite count out the vampire genre just yet.  Like the blood thirsty undead, the vampire genre just keeps resurrecting.  Vampire films might be critically castrated for the majority of the time, but there are times when a vampire film just had a lot of heart, especially in a no to low-budget project like the film I’m reviewing in this article – The Caretaker.  Directory Tom Conyers has no feature film directing experience.  Actor Mark White has no feature film acting experience.  Must can be said about the rest of the cast while a couple of them also worked in shorts and television series, but The Caretaker is a real test for the cast on such a venturous storyline.

Mosquito bites cause what many believe to be an epidemic of the flu in the area of Melbourne, Australia.  What the residents of Melbourne believed were wrong…dead wrong.  The bites cause the victims to turn into vampires that reaches out beyond the lines of Melbourne and spread across the world.  A small, on-edge group of four humans hold up on a small vineyard plantation where a vampire has claimed his nest.  In exchange for their protection during the day, the vampire offers his protection against his own kind at night.  The tension is thick not only between human and vampire, but also between human and human.

Now not to rain down on The Caretaker’s parade even though I do like the movie, but I feel there is always too much melodrama.  Melodrama seems to be a plague for many low-budget horror films just because the crew can’t add in top dollar special effects to entertain leaving a “talking head” movie syndrome inevitable.  But I can divulge that the fact that in spite there being melodrama spewing from every orifice, this doesn’t make The Caretaker a bad movie.  The characters are complex enough to welcome some of the “talking head” script.  There are internal conflicts in the characters themselves and they are also projected upon the other survivors causing turmoil in the house or “nest.”

When I said that many low-budget horror films just don’t have the dough to afford high-tech special effects, I didn’t intend on that to mean that The Caretaker’s effects were awful.  I rather enjoyed the effects as they were minimal and believable.  Some effects make a movie campy, but The Caretaker was all serious business and took the vampire story on a different level with an earnest commitment.  Mark White’s as the protective vampire Dr. Ford Grainger who never reveals a good side or an evil side.  We just know he is a bad ass vampire vampire slayer.  The human characters give off the same complexities with only Colin McPherson’s character Lester portraying anything that resembles a villain as the 50-year-old creepy vineyard owner who loves to chase after young women and that young woman happens to be the manic depressed Annie played by Anna Burgess.  Guy and Ron round out the last of the characters played by Clint Dowdell and Lee Mason and these two are buddy buddy at first until Annie’s secret comes to the forefront and then it is game on between the four humans and the lone vampire.

The Caretaker won’t knock your socks off, but comes off as a decent vampire genre flick.  Don’t expect flying body parts or gruesome scenes of vampire attacks with blood squirting in every direction.  Take it in like a worth seeing television soap drama and try to see the heart in the center like I did.  Then, after it is all over and you still didn’t care for The Caretaker, you can rip out that heart and eat with a side of lima beans and wash it down with a nice cold beer, but hey, at least you gave it a try, right?

Trailer for The Caretaker

PTSD and evil. Psycho Holocaust review!

My share of horror films deriving from the victims of post traumatic stress disorder of war extends from Bob Clark’s golden oldie Deathdream to more recent no budget indies like Andrew Copp’s Quiet Nights of Blood and Pain.  The issue that always seems to arise in my thoughts when watching one of these flicks is can PTSD victims one day snap into a vicious, emotionless killer?    Examples of actual occurrences doesn’t come to mind (a few will hit me while I’m walking the dog most likely) and this lack of evidence renders me helpless agains’t opposing feelings about wanting to believe that the horrendous acts, such as portrayed in my recent venture Psycho Holocaust, can really take place.

Six friends embark on a getaway vacation to an isolated area lake house.  On the very first night, their getaway turns into a futile get away when three psychotic and evil men plan to toy with the group for as long as there is pain and blood to be given.  These violence junkies won’t stop, won’t be merciful and won’t let anyone live long enough to last a full day.

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