Pornstar Priya Rai Couldn’t Erect this Evil! “Isis Rising: Curse of the Lady Mummy” review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on February 6, 2015

King Osiris and his black magic queen Isis rule ancient Egypt and were beloved by all. All except Osiris’s brother Set whose envy led to the murderous slain of Osiris. Isis, heartbroken and vengeful, tries to use her black magic to rise Osiris from the grave and seek revenge on all who wished their demise. In the middle of Isis’s ritual, Set interrupts and decides to dismember his brother’s body in order for the ritual not come to fruition and snaps Isis’s neck to ensure his will, but Isis’s vow to return and curse anyone who stands in her way. Present day, a college research group along side an Egyptian historian stay overnight at a closed history museum to study closely lost Egyptian artifacts. Isis’s spirit is accidentally released from her sarcophagus and seeks to finish what she began by taking the body parts from the research students in order to reconstruct the body her love Osiris and put the world into an eternal damnation.

“Isis Rising: Curse of the Lady Mummy” resembles the much loved late night Cinemax skin flicks without any of the nudity or the sex. All the elements are there: busty women, bad acting, and the underlined plot that is overshadowed by the soft core love scenes. From the DVD cover and the two well established porno industry actors in this film, one would, without a doubt, conclude that “Isis Rising” would fall right into the middle of that sleazy category. What the Lisa Palenica directed film is is a C-movie production that attempts to take itself seriously in the horror genre with completed results that are whole-heartedly felt in micro-budget, non-horrific, and non-stimulating, efforts.

Priya Rai is a big busted porn star of Indian background and she headlines the film as the vengeful Isis and while Priya isn’t riding the big Egyptian camel hump, her role is severely limited in dialogue and in on screen appearances. Isis’s powers include turning into a digestible body inhabiting mist, fireball conjuring, and teleportation, but Isis’s real threats are her massive chest bombs – bigger and pointier than the great Egyptian pyramids themselves. To be technical about the film’s title, Isis isn’t even a mummy. Yet the film’s subtitle is “Curse of the Lady Mummy.” The definition of mummy is the preservation of the body by removing internal organs and treat the body with resins and wraps. Isis is more like a spiritual demon and this oil should ought to be bettered labeled and regarded as “Curse of the Lady Egyptian” rather than “Curse of the Lady Mummy.” That is, if you wanted to be technical.

James Bartholet, mainly a supporting actor in all those XXX parody movies, makes his presence felt as the bumbling and perverted security guard Harry. The rest of the cast is rounded out with relatively unknowns with minor film credits to their names. Director Lisa Palenica also had a role in the film as Felicia, the goth girl who probably received one of the better death scenes in the movie. The characters are a rather stereotypical horror ensemble. There is the jock, the nerd, the hot chick, her goth-hipster friend, the nerdy asian girl, and pot head who ends up smoking the resurrection essence that awakens Isis from her slumber dooming all to savagry, as well as seductively, of detaching limbs and heads from the characters’ bodies. The only character that has girth and background value is Isis with her tragic backstory filled with treachery and black magic. Killing off characters is a lot more understandable when there is a motive.

The special effects are truly shameful, especially in a time where CGI has been perfected to the point where anybody with a Mac computer can create stunning effects. “Isis Risings” doesn’t even seem to try by implementing seriously awkward post-CGI effects, Halloween prop store plastic severed limbs, and even going as far as adding in fake exhaled smoke from our essence-high smokers. Some of the Egyptian scenes in the beginning reminded me of how Mortal Kombat 1 and 2 looked on a Sega Genesis console with the still background and the engaged, superimposed fighters. Some of the more practical effects where encouraging, but only a few scenes had those types of effects.

“Isis Rising: Curse of the Lady Mummy” resurrects another disappointment in the ever-failing Egyptian related horror genre. When will Brendan Frasier’s “The Mummy” ever be dethroned? Perhaps Alexandre Aja’s “The Pyramid” will be the next ruler of such said genre. Tom Cat Films, a production company much like Asylum Entertainment, develops the film into reality but “Isis” fails to wrap itself into a neat little mummified package of terror. I would rather have seen more of Priya Rai conducting ominously seductive measures in her quest of blood and resurrection and a little more effort in the effects, because if you’re going to have a porn star headline your film, you might as well go all Sasha Grey-out and make the experience worth wild. But don’t take my word for it and judge for yourself by heading over to MVDVisual and purchasing “Isis Rising: Curse of the Lady Mummy.”

Kiss Your Cousin and Watch Some Evil! “Hillbilly Horror Show Vol.1” review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on January 23, 2015

Bo, Cephus, and their kissing cousin Lulu lounge on their small trailer park camper couch drinking ice cold beer and watching a bag-filled of horror shorts discs. A fear-filled anthology containing four of the best horrifying shorts from some of the most talented and unknown filmmakers displayed for our country-bunpkin viewing pleasure.

For the most part, horror anthologies are the bane of my existence. The appeal of numerous plot lines, not intertwined, swells and overflows the mind. Trying to process it all is like dumping all your Thanksgiving leftovers down the garbage disposal and witnessing it clogging up trying to choke down week old Turkey, bits of yellow kernel corns, and de-gelatized cranberry jelly patties.

…but every once and awhile a worthy anthology gets it right, gets the gist of what makes the innards of good collection of horror shorts. I commend good compilation releases such as “Body Bags,” “Creepshow,” and “ABCs of Death.” Believe it or not or take my recommendation with a grain of salt, but “Hillbilly Horror Show Vol. 1” is on the same awesome level as those I’ve just listed in not so marketable fashion.

1: “Franky and The Ant”

Franky and his partner are hitmen and their current mark is a sexy, barely clad young lady. With bag over her head, the two men drag her to the isolated field where an open grave was previous dug. When the target is revealed to the two men, Franky has more in store for his partner and his target than what meets the eye.

“Franky and The Ant” is a quick-wit and smart short about lover revenge in a chilly cold-hearted and thrilling way. This short will make you think twice about the people who are close to you in more ways than one. Directed by first timer Billy Hayes, the festival winning short is a crime thriller with just the right amount of duration and enough story to make it compelling.

2: “Doppleganger”

In this stop motion short, a skeleton awakes alone in a cave and ventures out on a journey into the world. Walking across great lands and discovery the desolation of the world, the skeleton stumbles upon another skeleton. They’re both seemingly the same with only the lower jaw missing from the second skeleton. When the journeying skeleton extends a hand in friendship, friendship is not what the doppelganger is seeking.

Director Theo Stefanski creates a gothic and surreal looking info life after death and then death again. The message of nothing changes after death is a bit depressing in a comical depiction. The animation wonderfully constructed with love of classical inspirations. The short is short but the takeaway is everlasting.

3: “Amused”

Martha returns home to her snow covered house to find an insane individual munching on her daughter’s scalp. The crazed man then wears the detached scalp on his head and chases Martha through the cold countryside. With every hope of help, more terror lurks around every corner and its up to Martha to resolve her own salvation against the sinister amusement that has overcome the murders.

Cuyle Carvin is a vet in the film industry and with “Amused” being his first attempt at direction just proves that his experience is a test of time spent on the independent and Hollywood scene. “Amused” is well shot even if the film stock quality isn’t up to snuff; this might have been purposefully done give the tone and feel of the short a more retro sensation. The short has no dialogue and translate so well to the viewer that no chatter is necessary and I would go as far as unwanted. I would love to see more from Cuyle Carvin in the future in the horror genre and see a longer version of “Amused.”

4: “The Nest”

A small town diner has an award-winning, business-thriving honey from a deadly hive of over-sized, flesh eating swarm of bees that are kept secret. When a horse rancher and a government land inspector investigate the remains of a flesh-ridden horse, the diner owner and her dim-witted mute son strive to keep their hive a secret.

Saving the best short for last, Tim Zwica’s masterful short contains flawless acting and a story that fun as it is thrilling. Flesh eating bees. Who know that would be fun? The dark tone of the film’s cinematography surely heightens the appeal of the film and the special effects creates an allure that can’t be ignored. The Nest is produced by the ever-so-lovely Jennifer Scott who also plays a goth-hooligan girl who gets ravaged by the bees. “The Nest” might be a Syfy mega hit if it was made into a full length feature much in the same vain of “Sharknado” but I would predict that “The Nest” would have three times more success.

I’m hooked on “Hillybilly Horror Show” and I wouldn’t mind seeing more of Glamour model Rachel Faulker and her skimpy outfits. Horror shorts with girth, grit, and guts unlike any anthology I’ve seen in a very, very long time. The “Hillbilly Horror Show” is today’s Joe Bob Briggs with more redneck fun. MVDVisual brings volume one home and I would recommend this DVD, though the cover lacks much artistic enthusiasm, with award winning shorts as these filmmakers need more exposure and new talent is brooding behind the scenes of Hollywood.

It Takes Real Evil to Cure an Addiction! “Malignant” review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on January 22, 2015

Allex’s life is meaningless. Losing his wife spun a web of alcoholism that drained his motivation to live. But Allex is about to get a little help from a man in black; a rogue scientist looking to cure Allex’s addiction in the most radical of sense. When Allex wakes up after a black out binder, a stitched up incision is on his chest and a video that shows him on a murderous rampage. Allex doesn’t remember a thing. Being terrorized by a scientists who thirst to cure Allex of his alcoholism and stagnant life is nothing short of bitter sweet.

Lets start off this review with a positive. Brad Dourif will forever stand out among his fellow cast mates. Dourif has accumulated over the years the manners and the techniques to build a sinister villain even if the legendary “Chucky” voicing actor plays a character that lacks major cojones. In “Malignant,” Dourif is the rogue scientist playing havoc on Allex’s life and the subtle approach Dourif brings is exactly how I would have imagined it as his character is brilliantly spiteful and usually where there is brains, there is less braun.

“Malignant” drives a stake right through the heart of alcoholism subject matter. Most people flounder the way the main character Allex does when they’re under the spell of the drink. Director Brian Avenet-Bradley introduces a cruel and diabolical intervention where pro-choice to cure one’s self is non-existent. Now, the fix isn’t exactly quick and nor is it ethical and moral, but when you need to start living your life again, what better way than to slash the throats of the drunks around you?

With a good amount of positives for the film, “Malignant” certainly isn’t anything spectacular to where you desperately need to watch it right away. But I certainly encourage the message behind the film and can back good Dourif performance even if it’s not his best. Another positive is the lobotomy surgical scenes will have some eye lids squint with visual displeasure and I can contest that the effects are realistic and not at all cheesy.

What I can’t escape from is the main character’s poor choices. The screenplay holes are major because the character Allex makes too many poor choices driving my dislike for Allex high and hoping that he gets what he deserves, for being idiotic, in the end. Played by Gary Cairns, Allex’s woes with this loss of his wife, played by the smoking Sienna Farall only in flashbacks, are felt, but I felt like his life with alcohol could have been more depressing. Cairns portraying a depressed drunk certainly needed more boozing and loathing of life.

“Malignant” isn’t benign. This is a good solid DVD release by MVDvisual with great presentation and clarity that makes the surgical scenes that more fearing. Watching it for Brad Dourif alone if you’re a fan of his work or watch one night when the mood for a thriller takes you over. Test the waters as you may find this film evilly enticing.

Drug Abuse Resistance Evil! “Attack of the Morningside Monster” review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on December 19, 2014

Director Chris Ethridge and screenwriter Jayson Palmer embark on their very first feature film and they welcomes themselves right into the horror genre tackling a slasher film that made it (and won) a handful of film festivals including Fright Night Filmfest and International Horror & Sci-Fi Film Festival. Not bad for a pair of first timers. Their film, “Attack of the Morningside Monster” holds water because the pair were graced with a solid cast of veteran actors such as Robert Pralgo of “The Vampire Diaries,” genre actress Tiffany Shepis (“Night of the Demons” 2009 remake), and Nicholas Brendon from the TV series “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”

Sheriff Tom Haulk is a straight edge man of the law in his small town of Morningside, New Jersey where everybody knowns everyone. Where small town secrets become small town big news. When corpses of the local drug runners start to turn up murdered and eviscerated, the sheriff starts to notice a pattern when a strange tribal symbol accompanies the gutted bodies. While Tom tries to decipher the pieces to his case, his childhood best fried Mark has personal struggles of his own keeping his cancer stricken wife alive. Tom and Mark both face demons from the past and present and their futures turn dark with a killer on a loose and death knocking at the door.

“Attack of the Morningside Monster” is a basic enough cops try to puzzle together a serial murder’s motives. What the script does however is make the ending fairly predictable, but does throw in a curveball of sorts. The only element of the story that can’t be predicted is the motive behind the killer which leaves just enough wonder for the unexpected viewer. In the end, picking out the killer is not difficult and is practically an alley-oop just waiting for the slam dunk.

Despite a transparent script, the cast of acting vets delivers reasonable flair. I haven’t seen Nicholas Brendon since “Demon Island” that involved a killer pinata (classic b-movie fun). I’m glad to seen Nicholas is still acting and his role as Mark reminds me much of his “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” role: a bit weak, strong when needed, and a nervous wreck. Cult actress Tiffany Shepis deputy Klare Austin role doesn’t shine as much as one would hope for in a actress of her credit history. Deputy Austin more or lesses flounders around the town trying to solve this case on her own without the help of her boss. Speaking of the boss Tom Haulk, Robert Pralgo has had a more mainstream career and that translate more clearly to the screen. Pralgo delivers a sheriff on a mission to make things right even if it costs him his job and his soul.

I wasn’t too keen on the motive behind the killer who wore a tribal tiled mask and a wheeled around an ancient deadly mace like weapon. Rest of the killer’s outfit involved black cape and hood and rubber gloves like you wear when doing the dishes. The “Monster,” as the movie credits the character, wasn’t very thriller aesthetically and looked more like a cheap halloween costume party goer who decided to attend the big bash at the last minute. The death scenes weren’t that all excellent as well, but given the movie’s crowd-funded budget from indiegogo.com I can’t speak too much on the matter than other that the kill scenes were as great as they were funded.

But why the title “Attack of the Morningside Monster?” A slightly boring and generic title could have given this feature more life especially since the killer is described using a certain kill method. A more thought-provoking title surely would have been appreciated for this entertaining low-budget film that keeps you guessing about the killer’s thirst for drug dealers and their vital organs. Check it out on DVD next year January 20, 2015 from Apprehensive Films and MVDvisual.

How About A Nice Evil Plate of Hillbilly, Long Pig Meat? Legend of the Hillbilly Butcher!

Posted by Steven Lewis on September 5, 2014

Taking after his demented butcher of a father, Carl Henry Jessup (Paul E. Respass) is a backwoods living hunter whose local delicacy amongst his surround neighbors is serving up grade-A human meat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Carl relives the past with the tragic death of a murder-suicide of his parents and tries to summon them to live again with the help a demon named Sam Bakoo. When the loner cannibal doesn’t get his wish from Sam Bakoo, he curses and rejects the demon starting a whole new set of problems for poor old Carl. All this is told in narrative story of the “Legend of the Hillbilly Butcher” to three young children by an old man who knows Carl and his murderous history.

Director Jaoquin Montalvan could be considered the underground doppleganger of Rob Zombie in filmmaking especially in “House of a 1000 Corpses” or “The Devil’s Rejects.” In the “Legend of the Hillbilly Butcher”, all the makings of a Rob Zombie like film are accounted for with the exception of hard rockabilly music. White trash and white trash dialogue? Check. Grindhouse style editing and cinematography? Check. Cannibalism and demon summon horror genre? Check. It isn’t like Montalvan exactly mirror’s Zombie’s films from scene to scene. Montalvan makes this film his own in the subtlety of the work; many of the scenes are low key and not over the top with dialogue and heavy moments of stimulating effects. And the indie director does make this into a bit of a horror comedy. In a number of scenes, the characters will sit across from each other, have a meal or a drink of moonshine, and bullshit in a quippy could of way. End scene.

The cannibalism story tangent takes a bit of a backseat to the demon that plagues Cary Henry. The quick switch in plot direction is a good, positive change for the Hillbilly Butcher as monotony would set in with the cannibalism plot line. Much of the “meat” effects were a bit scarce and cheesy. The dead bodies were not so realistic. But the quick edited dream sequences of Sam Bakoo and Carl Henry’s visions of Sam Bakoo were intense, surreal, and welcomed. What also helped was the performance from amateur actor Allen East as Sam Bakoo – a scrawny, bald man who can conform with the best of them like Doug Jones from “Hellboy.”

Another good actor (or actress in this case) is Theresa Holly. A blue eyed, black haired beauty with a bust that would break hearts. Her character Rae Lynn, a friend of Carl Henry, is sweet and tender but when push comes to shove, her salvation lies with her fighting for her life. While there were no nude scenes for her character, Theresa Holly does do some bra and panty scenes in a, and again in a Rob Zombie like way, montage scene.

With any cannibal archetype or cannibalism film, I expect a lot of gore and with a title like the Legend of the “Hillbilly Butcher”, there comes an expectation that meat would be separated from the bone for consumption. Well, prepared to be mostly disappointed with only one real scene of disembowelment. The scene is fairly gory and intestinally jarring, the movie is practically over by the time we get to this scene. The film does speak more to it’s tone toward placement in the world and in the afterlife; how the good become better and those who do wrong get what they deserve in the end.

MVDVisual is releasing this 2012 festival hit on September 23rd, 2014 and while I won’t expect this to be flying off the shelves, reaching cult status in a matter of weeks, I do expect a pretty good following for poor old Carl Henry.