Tag Archives: vampires

British thugs versus evil! Dead Cert review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Can you remember the last good vampire flick?  Does Underworld count?  My mind can’t conjure up one better than Interview with the Vampire, but of course, all of these examples are mainstream, hollywood-produce examples.  Am I shunning the back alley projects?  Perhaps I’ve just seen too much horror movies.  I can’t recall the last indie vampire project that was actually worth a viewing.  Unfortunately, I still haven’t come across such a worthy viewing even if the topic of this review is a vampire genre film called Dead Cert.

A tough London gang are ruthless when it comes to territorial disputes, taking care of their competition with merciless violence, but when an Iranian businessman comes into town, Freddy and his gang don’t know what they’re getting themselves into.  The Iranian businessmen are more than just land searchers, they’re legendary vampires looking to reclaim what they claim is theirs – the London land.  Freddy’s club becomes their base of operations when Freddy’s boxer Dennis loses his bout against an Iranian brute.

 

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Where’s the hunt for evil? Death Hunter: Werewolves vs Vampires review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on

As seductively epic does the title Death Hunter:  Werewolves vs Vampires sounds, the funds for such a grand title don’t support it.  Werewolves and vampires have been the subject of folklore for more than century and to have the two be in the same production needs the backing of the money.  The Underworld trilogy gained much of it’s success and popularity through dollar signs and it’s stardom in the beautifully femme fatale of Kate Beckinsale.  Death Hunter has none of the above, leaving most of it’s special effects to the wolves and creativity helpless to the imagination of it’s audiences.

While lost deep with in the desert, John Croix and his wife Maria stumble upon a den of blood thirsty vampires; the master vampire takes his wife but leaves John to die in the desert and that’s not all.  Werewolves roam the night when the full moon is out; John becomes the victim of a werewolf bite, but he is rescued by a fellow survivor Van Ness who helps John beat his canine physical transformation yet keep all the lycanthrope abilities.  A few months training with Van Ness has John ready for his exact revenge on the vampire clan that stole his wife from him.

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Not just another evil versus movie! Ninjas vs Vampires review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on

If you’ve ever been unfortunate to see that piece of shit Vince D’Amato 2004 film Vampires vs Zombies (also called Carmilla, the Lesbian Vampire), a fear has probably dug deep with in the core of you’re very soul urging you to never, ever watch another indie horror project again for the rest of your mundane life.  No fear fiends!  Lets split up vampires and zombies and add ninjas instead!  First, there was Ninjas vs Zombies; a sleek, funny and fresh clash of two factions that never saw the light of day against each other.  Director and writer Justin Timpane does a great job with the martial art choreographic and special effects that will put your faith back into indie horror.  The subject of this review is Timpane’s sequel to Ninjas vs Zombies; Ninjas vs Vampires was with out a doubt the next logical title for his 2008 versus movie.

Aaron and his long time friend and desire Alex find themselves in the middle of an epic battle between the deadly forces of ninjas and the ultimate blood sucking night stalkers, the vampires.  The ninjas look to stop the world from falling into the sharp fangs of the vampires, but when Alex is kidnapped, the clan and Aaron must make a choice to whether risk the fate of the entire world on a single mortal girl.

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Jerry displays his evil qualities! Fright Night remake trailer!

Posted by Steven Lewis on

And it is here!  The long awaited trailer for the remake of Fright Night has arrived.  Colin Farrell’s Jerry the vamp is both vicious and unruly.  My skepticism was very high before seeing this trailer, but it has subsided a little for now.  However, where the hell was Peter Vincent in the trailer?  I didn’t see him at all, but maybe for two seconds.  Check it out after the jump as it will drown you in pure vampire mayhem.

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Strippers aren’t evil! Stripperland review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on

In all my days I would never consider the exotic profession of a stripper to be a bad thing.  These (sometimes) youthful ladies contribute to society just like the rest of us and perform a gentleman’s entertainment that will forever be the loner’s safe-haven and open ear to deaf, faux sympathizers.  Director Sean Skelding sees the pole dancing society to be the evilest place on the face of the earth as his film, Stripperland, has strippers from all shapes and sizes, dolled up in cheesy outfits, run an undead amok eating the guts of the living and mindlessly dancing to hip-hop music.

Idaho is an annoying college kid who lives by a set of exotic dancer rules that help him survive a world of undead, flesh eating strippers.  He meets Frisco, a man on a mission to destroy every stripper that steps in his path and to fulfill an obsession for home made baked goods, and they embark on a journey to Oregon, but before they arrive, West and Virginia, two uninfected females, trek with them in search for their Grambo.

Sean Skelding has a vision and that vision is to recreate that vision in a parody.  Stripperland parodies Ruben Fleischers’s 2009 Zombieland and, in all honestly, doesn’t do it very well.  Having strippers only come back to life to eat the living doesn’t make much sense to me; to have them dance to hip-hop music and crave one dollar bills as a distraction ploy has the same effect.  I get it, Skelding, Strippers are the epitome of mindless drones who seek nothing but sparkly objects, a fistful of George Washingtons and just want to dance all night long.  This concept could have been done with another storyline; why use Zombieland’s premise?  Stripperland isn’t a soul sucker of only Fleischer’s zomedy as it mocks a bit of Zombie Strippers (for obvious reasons) and Romero’s Day of the Dead (with Thom Bray as Dr. Logan).

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