Category Archives: Creature Features

EVIL’s Coaxial Cord Right into Your TV Set! “HeBGB TV” reviewed! (Scream Team Releasing / DVD)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Contact Your Local Cable Provide to Upgrade Your Box for “HeBGB TV” on DVD!

In a world of streaming devices, the cable box era has become nothing but a memory until mysterious HeBGB cable boxes sudden appear on retail shelves and on homeowner doorsteps.  The what looks to be a brain in a box with some wiring quickly self-installs right into the cable jack and manifests a gaudy-dressed tangible host, The Purple Guy, right into your living room.  Promising a guaranteed fun time, The Purple Guy is eager for souls, I mean viewers, to subscribed to the endless commercial content of HeBGB TV, promising nothing but the best entertainment from the other side of the dimension has to offer.  Sordid horror, 90s-inspired carving infomercials, grotesque commercials, monstrous sexy hotlines, demonic feature films, and more provide a source of endless brain-rotting consumerism over the TV broadcast waves.  Eye-glued patrons of senseless horrors become slave to the screens that send their very souls to a machination machine from another world.  Who can stop the evils of doom channel surfing? 

Those who are now in their late 30s, early 40s likely remember how awesome and nearly uninhibited cable television was back in the day.  Money and creative talent were invested in turning the most ordinary retail product into a mini-movie of ostentatiousness, imbued with vividly stark colors and an insanity of pure energy.  Television didn’t coddle, it shaped the very fabric of impressionable children of that era, resulting in imagine and inspiration.  That is what comes to mind when speaking of “HeBGB TV,” a comedy-horror anthology of sorts of shorts written-and-directed by Eric Griffin, Adam Lenhart, and Jake Mcclellan.  The trio’s initial concept, prior to the creation of “HeBGB TV,” was something along the lines of an interactive variety show with short films, standup comedy, and puppetry held in front of a live audience.  When COVID hit in 2020, their idea pivoted toward a movie, eventually a script evolved into a drivable wraparound narrative chalked-full of some of the prefabbed material as well as some other new zany, horror-inspired skits, shorts, and string-pulling puppetries.  Griffin, Lenhart, and Mcclellan produce the feature under their LLC of HeBGB TV productions and PatchTown Films, based right in my regional backyard of Lancaster, PA.

Credited in the film as Knucklehead, Jake Mcclellan may act to the very definition of pseudonym but, in the lack of better words, is the face of “HeBGB TV” by having scores of roles and personalities at his disposable to dress up and become a totally new and grotesquely phantasmagoric character.  Whether be The Purple Guy, PU News’ greasy anchorman, the Blue Monster, or just desperate dieter with a health-hazard late night snacking problem, Mcclellan goes all out with makeup, costuming, and prosthetics in what could be considered a one man drag show and its gorgeously panache and over-the-top but doesn’t stray terribly too far from the outrageous era the horror-comedy emulates.  “HeBGB TV” is full of caricatures of late-night television and oddities of live TV and marketing campaigns, even Eric Griffin and Adam Lenhart get involved in front of camera as a hobo watching a portable antenna TV and as Smokie, the exterminator of potheads with noxious weed, as seen on TV, or rather “HeBGB TV.”  Most of the enthusiasm, and eccentrics, are within film’s faux television programming but the cast of performances flesh out with Ian Sanchez, Curtis Proctor-Artz, Josh Dorsheimer, Zenobia Decoteau, Michael Garland, Mike Madrigall, Ellen Tiberio-Shultz, Kristie Ohlinger, Colleen Madrigall, and Willow and Van Reiner as the kids who The Purple Guy connivingly entertains and Andrew Bowser reprising his most beloved YouTube persona, Onyx the Fortuitous.

Cut from the same cloth as Weird Al’s “UHF, Peter Hyams’s “Stay Tuned,” and Jeff Lieberman’s “Remote Control,” the cable box antics of the 80s-90s TV is quickly fading the analog years into nothing more than static snow of broadcast noise.  However, “HeBGB TV” is the answer, the recollection, and the nostalgia-driven film that delivers better than trying to get a glimpse of the vague outlines of adult actresses in the static noise of premium adult channels.  Directors Griffin, Lenhart, and Mcclellan combine their creative geniuses, incorporate their sentimental love of 90’s media, and integrate their own other interests into a cinematic cannonball of colorful comedy-horror.  While the wraparound stories outside the HeBGB TV box proves able with the inexplicable mass rollout of the brain-in-a-box cable program provider and rotting, killing, and transfiguring viewers into mindless gawkers, overdosed smokers, and malevolent demons, the real star of the feature is flipping through the channels for the go-hard mock-commercials and other putrid programming laced with horror themes and capturing the spirit of television culture of 20-to-30 years ago.  While most of the visual effects reside around the wraparound story, contributing to the alloying of the story, Adam Lenhart’s practical effects more than make up for it a DIY initiative of can-do sculpting, molding, and crafting ingenuity below the embraced realm of unreality.

Don’t touch that dial as Scream Team Releasing delivers cable television like never before with “HeBGB TV” now on DVD! Though the Scream Team Releasing DVD back cover lists the format as a Blu-ray, the data file is actually a MPEG2 encoded, singer-layer DVD5 that has a widescreen 1.78:1 aspect ratio presentation. A combination blend of interlaced and digital video swirl “HeBGB TV” into a time warp of the past and present. The filmmakers captured not only the feel of rambunctious, eccentric, and vividly brilliant 90’s commercials but were also able to capture the look of it too with the interlacing horizontal lines indicative of video frame rates of the time. The wraparound narrative portions are digitally cleaner in juxtaposition, factionalizing present and TV programming with distinction until the culminating plan comes to conclusion. Some of the digital visual effects gags crumble under the practical elements of an analog airing, proving once again that the tangible and practical outstage the digital composition, but the crumbling doesn’t stem from compression issues. The English language Dolby Digital 2.0 mix is a symphony of frenzied chaos, pinpoint advert jingles, and deliciously distasteful horror gags facsimiled perfectly, as if it was plucked straight from the pre-millennium. Dialogue is quick but renders clean and clear in a blend of inset and ADR vocal recording, per the commentary. No issues with depth, range, or any kind of compression side effects. Well scored with a catchy main theme and topnotch sound designed to add to “HeBGB TV’s” romp commercial content. English subtitles are optionally available. Bonus features are aplenty with a retrospective interview with the three directors and short clips going in-depth with behind-the-scenes movie magic, a HeBGB TV video installation guide, a world-premiere pre-show, the first interactive show prior to COVID, and the theatrical trailer in the motion menu option shaped like a retro tube television with right side buttons. Inside the setup option along with the English Subtitle toggle, a directors’ commentary can be selected and played from there. The standard edition encased inside an Amaray comes with faded hues on an illustrated composition cover art of most of the “HeBGB TV’s” wacky pastiches and a disc pressed with the pulsing brain-loaded cable box. The release comes not rated, region free, and has a copasetic runtime of 78 minutes. ”HeBGB TV” is couch potato worthy that syndicates together hilarious travesties and transvestites for timeless television touting, stitched together from previously shot short films, puppetry depravities, and a new sci-fi fiction.

Contact Your Local Cable Provide to Upgrade Your Box for “HeBGB TV” on DVD!

Amusing Little EVIL Enjoying the Carnival Rides! “Ghoulies II” reviewed! (MVD Visual / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Next Time You Sit On the Can, Check the Bowl First!  “Ghoulies II” on Blu-ray!

The travelling Hardin Family carnival has been on a steady decline through the years.  The Hardin Holdings group, aka Mr. Hardin, dispatches his young senior accountant and son, Philip Hardin, as authoritative proxy to ensure sustainable profit.  One of the longstanding attractions, Satan’s Den, lies headfirst on the chopping block with a dismal profit rate.  Determined to recover and avoid being permanently shut down, Larry, his drunk uncle Ned, and actor Sir Nigel Penneyweight won’t give up so easily despite needing a miracle.  That miracle comes in the form of the Ghoulies who hitch a ride on Satan’s Den’s trailer while escaping persecution.   The pintsized demons bring the slowly withering Satan’s Den back to lucrative life but at the deadly cost of the patrons and carneys who fall victim to the Ghoulies impish behavior.  Larry vows to rid the amusement on their infestation after uncle Ned perishes at the demons’ tiny hands but Philip has glimmering money signs in his eyes. 

They’re back!  The Ghoulies return as masterless nomads after a failed attempt of abduction by a devout crusader aiming to destroy the pagan evocations and wreak mischievous havoc on a two-bit amusement park suffering from low attendance.  The late Albert Band, father of Full Moon’s Charlie Band and director of “Dracula’s Dog” and “I Bury the Living,” took over the reins from first film director Luca Bercovici and helmed “Ghoules II,” a vastly different kind Ghoulies tale of terrorizing totality based off the Charlie Dolan story and a polished script from “Re-Animator’s” and “From Beyond’s” Dennis Paoli.  Filmed entirely in Rome, and mostly in a soundstage, where Empire Pictures headquarters were located, the 1987 sequel was the last Ghoulies venture from executive producer Band and his Empire Productions empire before Vestron oversaw the subsequent sequels.  Albert Band produced the feature with Frank Hildebrand (“Once Bitten,” “Project Metalbeast”) serving as associate producer. 

With the contestable exception of the five prosthetic creatures receiving a dust off and sprucing up paint job, none of the lively characters from the first film return for the sequel in what becomes a principal clean slate.  The story starts off with who appears to be a man of God fleeing on foot with a bag over his shoulder from three cloaked cult acolytes.  There’s never a reference to this escaping man (Anthony Dawson) or the shrouded cultists in torch-in-hand tow but does arouse a bit of enigmatic energy around the Ghoulies misadventures through the human plane and happening upon the likes of two opposite side of the spectrum carneys who are also related between the long-in-the-tooth and drunk Ned by the loveable character actor in Royal Dano (“Killer Klowns from Outer Space,” “Spaced Invaders”) and his big top tenderfoot nephew Larry played by Damon Martin.  Ned’s alcoholism combined with stress over possibly losing Satan’s Den makes causes him complexity within his closest confidants for when he happens upon the Ghoulies after citing an incantation, he’s also in a drunken stupor, and so he words of exciting, or maybe even warning, fall on deaf ears as intoxicated imaginations that result in a pity for his dependency.  As Larry and the Shakespearean line spewing Sir Nigel Pennyweight (Phil Fondacaro, “Willow”) continue with setting up the ragamuffin that is the antiquated Satan’s Den, they let Neg wander despite suspecting his delusions of demons due to the pressures of one carnival hotshot Phil Hardin (J. Downing, “Robot Wars”) who has come to town to clean up his family’s carnival act with threatens of shutdowns and layoffs.  Hardin’s your typical weight-throwing antagonist with a pompous attitude and wandering eye for the most gorgeous girl under the tent, in this case it’s with Larry’s love interest Nicole (Kerry Remsen, “Pumpkinhead”), a once great high-wire performer turned belly dancer for the departmental freakshow act.  Nichole’s hidden talents, buried deep beneath past personal pain, will undoubted be utilized for climatic gain as all chaos breaks loose on carnival grounds with the Ghoulies break free of Satan’s Den menagerie of cardboard and latex-crafted horrors.  “Ghoulies II” rounds out the cast with Jon Pennell, Sasha Jenson, Donnie Jeffcoat, Donald Hodson, Dale Wyatt, Romano Puppo, Ames Morton, Michael Deak, and Full Moon actor-turned-director William Butler (“Night of the Living Dead” ’90, “Baby Oopsie”).

Along with a new set of human characters, “Ghoulies II” also freshens up the trajectory by focusing less on the black magic that saturated the plot of the first film and relying more on the gremlin-like playfulness of the Ghoulies themselves, rightfully giving way into the very creatures of the title. There’s some magic involved but only to the extent that doesn’t have the Ghoulies rely on a master to evocate them from the Netherworld or for the dark powers to be used to perpetuate wickedness upon others.  Instead, the ghoulies are depicted utilizing their skillsets, such as flying, oral expelling sticky-gunk, super-strength, and chomping, which obviously lead to more of a micro-level apocalypse of carnage; however, the print obtained for the MVD Blu-ray release is the edited down version for theatrical circulation so some, not a lot mind you, of the gory bits have been taken out and this makes the storyline stutter with misplaced time with rough segues and an imbalance of edits that aren’t as smooth.  From what I’ve seen, the minuscule timed deleted scenes are not much more violent or gory but add just that tad more context to the next scene instead of our brains working to connect the dots on what should be a brain shutoff, entertaining creature feature.  Yet, you can’t deny the sequel’s appeal that has turned to center around the little demons assiduously but managing to keep the same, steady pace of ferity and gothic skim of mise-en-scene from the first.  Puppetry is retained for that palpable product while also introducing stop-motion, a visual effect that has served Empire/Full Moon well throughout the years and is only used sparingly to wet the limitless capabilities of our miniature monsters to roam free in open spaces. 

“Ghoulies” return with the sequel to MVD’s Rewind Collection as Blu-ray release number 53 on the spine. The AVC encoded, high-definition, 1080p Blu-ray is presented in a widescreen 1.85:1 aspect ratio. A virtual carbon copy of the first film in regard to a well-preserved print, the sequel isn’t noted in having a 4K restoration scan like the antecessor release number 52 but the 2K scan offers an abundancy of positive picture rendering with a seamless color grading that isolates distinction and range as well as a tangible details, especially on characters and the ghoulies alike who are often gleaming and show off every nook and cranny ridge on their dark, hairy bodies. Aforementioned, this print is the theatrical cut, missing some gruesome elements for the sake of a broader audience, and while most of the print is near flawless, there is one dunk tank scene that’s cropped and noticeably marred with horizon creases in the brief airtime. The English LPCM uncompressed 2.0 stereo mix caters to every audible necessity of the “Ghoulies” soundtrack, ambience, Foley, and dialogue. The latter is clean and clear with prominence over the rest of the layers though I wouldn’t label it flawless with some echoey segments, almost a doubling effect, that might be due to the soundstage vibrations at Empire. Ambient track provides a wide range with exact depth with the example being inside Satan’s Den of horrors where doors creak, motorized bats fly overhead, and other models of haunted house spookery, along with an underlining carnivalesque soundtrack by Fuzzbee Morse (“Dolls”), is the epitome of a great sound design suffused together. English, French, and Spanish subtitles are optionally available on this release. Special features include an introduction by screenwriter Dennis Paoli, which is also available as a standalone at the play feature option, More Toilets, More Terror: A Making of Ghoulies 2 is a retrospective lookback with select cast and crew, an interview with Dennis Paoli Under a Magic Moon, the gruesome deleted scenes, a photo gallery, and theatrical trailer. Physical attributes include a VHS retro-esque mockup of the original poster art on a cardboard O-slipcover, fitting for the sub-bannering Rewind Collection. The same image graces the front cover of the clear Blu-ray Amary case, but the cover art is also reversible with one of the film’s most memorable smoochy-kiss moments plus title above. The disc is art pressed similar as the first film, a laser disc veneer on the Blu-ray top. Opposite side is the folded poster insert of the slipcover front image. The region A playback release has a runtime of 90 minutes and is rated PG-13. “Ghoulies II” retains that same diabolical energy as the first film but channels it very differently into the very titular creatures that puts them at the forefront instead of being just an afterthought in a sequel that celebrates their uncontrollable knavery and loving every second of it.

Next Time You Sit On the Can, Check the Bowl First!  “Ghoulies II” on Blu-ray!

Even Bad CGI Crocodiles Have an EVIL Smile. “Crocodile Island” reviewed! (Well Go USA Entertianment / DVD)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Journey to the “Crocodile Island” on DVD from Well Go USA!

The Dragon Triangle is known for being the Bermuda Triangle off the coast of the Asia continent.  Ship and plane mysteriously disappear due to the area’s supposedly distorted navigational and mechanical instruments, wreaking havoc on commercial transportation and the directionless travelers who have wandered into its esoteric province.  When an Australian outbound commercial flight GZ261 is forced to violently crash land due to this very phenomenon, survivors find themselves not in the middle of the sea but on an uncharted island full of man-eating crocodiles, large and ferocious spiders, and a giant, prehistoric crocodile that can swallow a person whole.  With no food or water and danger lurking around every corner, the remaining, uneaten passengers must survive with the tools around them and locate the wreckage of a World War II plane that crashed long ago, salvage it’s radio, and call for rescue but the journey is perilous with a very hungry, colossal crocodile on their tail.

The Dragon Triangle, alternatively known as the Devil’s Sea or the Pacific Bermuda Triangle, is actually a real stretch of urban legend approximately located from the Northern Tokyo to the narrow vertex down below the island of Guam and enveloping most of the Japanese offshore islands.  The suspected berth of paranormal yarn has a long history of marine mysteries and aviation ambiguities and it’s also the basis for the 2020 Xu Shixing and Simon Zhao creature-feature actioner “Crocodile Island.”  Shixing, who went on to helm “Sharktopus” released this year, and Zhao, who oversaw the directorial duties for “The Antarctic Octopus” also released this year, seem to have knack for exaggerated megafauna movies beginning with “Crocodile Island” from a script by Minming Ni of “Exorcist Judge Bao.”  The undivided Chinese production showcases under the banner of Perfect World Pictures, an entertainment content company that often co-finances films with American studios, such as with “Jurassic Park Dominion, and New Studios Media, the company behind Ni’s “Exorcist Judge Bao.” 

At the very core of “Crocodile Island’s” larger-than-life CGI creature extravaganza is a life ordeal larger than any crocodile could ever be with a strained father-daughter relationship that takes surviving a plane crash, man-eating reptilians, and supersized spiders to resolve.  In steps Gallen Lo as rigid father Lin Hao to agitated and rebellious daughter Lin Yi, or as called continuously in the film as Yiyi, played by Liao Yinyu.  The “Vampire Controller” Lo takes parental responsibilities like a high-end security guard at an exclusive night club exhibiting almost zero emotion toward an equally stoic daughter who just lost their mother, the reason for the plane ride from Australia where Yiyi’s mother, Lin Hao’s ex-wife and Yiyi resided after a suspected divorce. I say suspected because Lin Hao hasn’t seen his daughter in years, solidifying his estrangement to the extreme, but deep down he reticent care for her despite the lack of expressive emotions and awkward alienation.  He shows this be becoming a gatekeeper against Yiyi’s romantic interest Cheng Jie (Wang Bingxiang) who boards the same flight but keeps his distance by concealing his presence from what would ultimately be a father’s sundering wrath in effort to protect and reconnect with her having been absent during her adolescence and still thinking she’s a child.  That becomes the underlining theme to “Crocodile Island,” to fight to protect what’s most dear to you, as Lin Hao fights against man and beast to protect his child and going through the learning curve of her growing up.  One significant flaw in Lin Hao’s development is his background is never divulged.  We’re hinted by other survivors that he might be former military, but nothing is clear except that he’s had some survivalist and leadership training, two apex personality attributes that collide in reconnecting with his daughter as well as sewing a connection with her boyfriend who’s eager to protect Yiyi too.  Out of all the survivors, this triad dynamic is harder pressed than the others – a first child expecting couple, a social media junkie and her creep of a friend with a bad heart, a pair of single men – who seem like they’re just a long for the ride, to be crocodile chow, or to give the principals more time to work out their internal issues.  Wei Dang, Xue’er Hu, Qiwei He, Zhao Zuo, Zhiyan Zhao, Jack Wayne, Bruce Alleyn, Patrick Alleyn, and Jinyi Zhao costar.

“Crocodile Island” stands alone as a 100% Chinese backed product for the often American partnered Perfect World Pictures as the carnivores look nothing remote similar to the likes of “Jurassic Park” and, instead, has all the hallmarks of a midnight feature on the Syfy Channel but even through the shoddy computer imagery, the feature remains one-up from those made-for-television premiers by turning on and building up some tense atmospherics, a fog-laden forecast with Kaiju-lite spiders dangling-dormant overhead the survivors or the close-quarters cave battle against the giant crocodile, that does keep concentration from veering off into a ditch of mundane dullness.  Still, every creature, every aircraft, and every explosion from the muzzle fire of the U.S. military issued Thompson submachine gun to the fragmentation detonation of the MK II grenades are CGI rendered and poorly at that.  The laws of physics do not apply to “Crocodile Island” as the regular sized reptilians can leap forward, airborne, for feet on end and the action is almost a near, undefinable blur on screen of the pallid, fringing translucency composite mockup.  While visual effects can be 90’s intro-level rubbish (what year are we in?), I found the story to be palpable enough and to a point of plane crash survivors find themselves basically on a heavily reduced variation of “Land of the Lost” or “Journey to the Center of the Earth” where instead of a T-Rexes and other giant, prehistoric creatures nipping at their heels, massive ocean crocodiles and arachnids lay claim to their flesh and bones but that part of the story wavers on wishy-washy rationalization.  The World War II plane that crashes, because of a flock of pterodactyls nonetheless, was carrying radioactive material which is alluded to being the cause of the giant spiders and crocodile, yet the crocodile was present at the WW II plane crash when snatching one of the pilots right out of the sky with a vertical leap, so the mysterious Dragon Triangle Isle remains still a mystery.

If I had to choose between the Bermuda Triangle and the Dragon Triangle, my chances of survival definitely reside better west side of the prime meridian and now you can make that determination yourself with a DVD copy of “Crocodile Island” courtesy of Well Go USA Entertainment.  As part of their Hi-Yah! collection, despite depicting no martial arts, “Crocodile Island” is presented in a widescreen 16×9 aspect ratio and stored on a MPEG2 encoded DVD9 with a average bitrate between 7 to 8 Mbps.  Aside from the absurd VFX, “Crocodile Island” looks pretty good compression-wise and detail-wise with a blight free digital image that pops with lush greenery and stark contrast, the brilliant sandy beach and bright blue water comes to mind as examples, with a grading range that runs the natural color spectrum.  The Mandarin language audio comes with two options:  a Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound and a Stereo 2.0.  Both render a clean, damage free mix with prominent dialogue and a pinpoint ambient sound design only to be besmirched by the laughable CGI and creature noises.  While the track is listed as strictly Mandarin, an English dub on the same track combs over the natural voices of the English-speaking actors, the pilots in the movie who are obviously speaking English when reading their lips, but the English dub sounds like Asian actors attempting English vocal impersonations that synch up egregiously.  Subtitles include English, traditional Chinese, and a simplified Chinese, which I’m not entirely sure if that means for a child’s benefit or another reason.  The English synch appears to be oversimplified as well with a slew of straight forward statements and exclamations, adding little depth to what the meaning characters attempt to convey in more significant conversion.  There’s not much in the way of special features in the rainy motion DVD menu aside from the film’s trailer and other Well Go USA Entertainment preview trailers for “A Creature Was Stirring,” “Creepy Crawly,” and “Gangnam Zombie.” The Amaray front cover has run-of-the-mill, campy Giant crocodile pomposity of a cover art with the doubled-sided, one-sheet inside insert of other Hi-Yah! Well Go USA Entertainment titles. What I found aesthetic is the simple designed, yet eye-catching disc pressed with a shimmering glint. Not rated and locked on a region one playback, the release has a runtime of 87 minutes. While this crocodile’s skin remains without a tangible leathery hide in the semi-aquatic beast’s digital creation, “Crocodile Island” has sporadic action and atmospheric value vastly needed to combat the cringeworthy croc.

Journey to the “Crocodile Island” on DVD from Well Go USA!

Furry EVIL Bogies Go for the Flag! “Caddy Hack” reviewed! (Wild Eye Releasing / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Special Edition Hole-in-One “Caddy Hack” On Blu-ray!

At the Old Glory Holes Golf Course, owner Wells Landon runs a tight ship under his garish wig before the weekend’s big money member’s tournament.  Hambone, Landon’s dimwitted and loyal groundskeeper, maintains the greens aesthetic tiptop shape with the help of his home brewed fertilizer, but the enriching fertilizer does more than just keep weeds from sprouting and keep the grass greener than Gumby, it also mutates the terrain terrorizing Gopher population into glowing-eyed, hairbrained killing machines offing the snobbish members, the party-hard caddies, and the course’s pretentious upper management in gruesome detail on all 18 holes.  Book nerd and greenhorn caddy Googie and his newly appointed and strict caddy manager Becky rally the caddy troops against a horde of impish, bloodthirsty rodents hellbent on shanking the golf course with more than just lumpy greens and unsightly mounds.  An all-out war between man and mammal tees off toward a fairway of carnage! 

A comedy-horror satire based off the satirical sports-comedy “Caddyshack,” Anthony Catanese’s written-and-directed “Caddy Hack” (see what he did there?) continues the feud that started with Bill Murray’s groundskeeper character, Carl Spackler but instead of one pesky Gopher wreaking havoc, a multitude of furry, landscaping vandalizers rise from their subterranean burrows to take the offense battle against man.  The “Sadomanic,” “Hi-Death,” and music video director, of such bands as Doc Rotten and UgLi, helms the 2023 with great flair for the farcical and satire that not only madcap of mayhem but also rib-jabs an arrogant elitist wearing a bad hairpiece and expresses the building of a wall and having the gophers pay for it, if they could.  We all know that person and he shall not be named here for the sake of this review’s integrity.  “Caddy Hack” is filmed in Morrisville, PA and part of New Jersey (we get some really good Jersian accents here) and is produced by Catanese, Sara Casey, Jim Gordon, Joseph Kuzemka, and Scott Miller under Gordon’s Content Trenton and Catanese’s D.I.Why? Films along with Wild Eye Releasing’s Rob Hauschild as executive producer.

Not only is “Caddy Hack” a ridiculous horror-comedy of binging buffoonery, its also a story about unlikely romance between near middle-aged caddy of golf nerditude and a browbeating, yet ravishing, woman eager to be taken seriously no matter her qualifications.  Jake Foy and Chrissy Cavallo respectively play the likeable oil and water who commingle unexpectedly when Cavallo’s rigidity as the unqualified caddy manage takes a shine to Foy’s caddy-passionate and meek-lined Googie.  Foy and Cavallo, along with Jim Gordon (“Hi-Death”) as the unscrupulous, neon colored toupee-wearing course owner Wells Landon and Nick Twist (“Sadomaniac’) as the dimwitted groundskeeper who huffs his own fertilizer and has anachronistic Vietnam PTSD for his age, keep “Caddy Hack” from going into sandpits and water hazards with their on-point caricature performances of the assorted kind that pair well with this type of comedy-horror.  Ancillary moments with Googie’s boys-club, caddy cohort and an awkwardly horned-up Dolores Umbridge type secretary to Wells Landon pepper the cast with enough perpetual zaniness that the madcap madness never loses momentum but they pale terribly in comparison to the core four personalities to the point that “Caddy Hack” is downgraded a little in its laugh-out-loud lunacy with the dilution of many side-characters who don’t get the time of day and are overshadowed by the schlocky puffballs that are the gophers gone wild.  “Caddy Hack” tees up the remaining cast with John Evans, Joe Bierdron, Travis Frank, Cole Funke, Vincent Lockett, Scott Miller, Matt Reversz, Kirk Ponton, Mike Paquin, David Olsen Jr. and Ilene Sullivan (“Center City 2”) as Wells Landon’s pernicious, brown-nosing, admiring secretary. 

Some semblances of the 1980, Harold Ramis-directed and Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, and Bill Murray-starring gold-themed side-splitter barely lays up with Catanese’s comedy-horror spoof and homage.  There’s a catchy, 80’s-esque enough, opening credit song overtop areal views of a golf course with spliced in golf concatenations.  There’s also a dopey groundskeeper in warmonger mode against not one but a whole platoon of gophers.  That’s about where “Caddy Hack” draws the line in the sand, likely for legal reasons, in keeping tune with “Caddyshack” and from there on out, Anthony Catanese goes balls to the wall with his unapologetic creature-feature held in party mode that drops jabs of anti-Trump drollery.  The hand puppet, bloodthirsty gophers add to “Caddy Hack’s” shameless charm in a good way by layer compositing only a very little with VFX glowing eyes to give the burrowing rodents an evident behavior aberration.  Because they’re hand puppets, the gophers are very limited in frame and in action but that doesn’t hinder their mischief-maker flow and the angles, and composites, of which they’re filmed and constructed warrants credit in it hark back to the iconic “Caddyshack” dancing gopher and to make the scene somewhat tolerably evil.

Go for this gobbling and gobsmacking gopher horror “Caddy Hack” now on a special edition Blu-ray from Wild Eye Releasing. Presented on an AVC encoded, 1080p high-definition, BD50, in a widescreen 1.85:1 aspect ratio, “Caddy Hack” caters to the standard, low-budget independent mustering with a severe contrast in details and delineation between daytime and nighttime scenes. Generally, details thrive in well-lit exteriors with some softness due in part to the innate raw footage. The ungraded final product really shows its colors, or lack thereof, at night with a washed overlay and a noticeable of digital artefacts. There are some scenes that look cropped and blown-up for closeup purposes, degrading the image resolution a bit. The English LCPM stereo 2.0 has uncompressed, uninhibited thrust that’s decently shaped and arranged in sound design and layered. Dialogue can be detached at times but still in the forefront of the action with the occasional takeover by the cute or ferocious gopher grunts. Plenty of range diversity with no depth to add space leaving competing audio tracks to fight next in line behind dialogue, including fart gags which is becoming tiresome trope across indie comedy-horror in my opinion. There are no subtitles available with this release. The special edition release comes with an abundance of special features, including an audio commentary track with director Anthony Catanese and producer Sara Casey, Balls Deep karaoke pulled from the film’s main song on the soundtrack, a Brew Break drinking game, an Old Glory Holes commercial with Wells Landon, outtakes and behind-the-scenes footage, and the caddy rap track. The Blu-ray comes with exclusive physical lineaments too with a cardboard slipcase with an unacknowledged illustrated composite art, a clear traditional Blu-ray case with snapper that holds reversible cover art – a front cover that’s mixed composition between evil gophers and a happy foursome and the reverse side has an evil gopher laughing manically in a still frame, an Old Glory Holes VIP Card, and a folded mini poster of the slipcase cover art. The region free has a runtime of 75 minutes and is not rated. “Caddy Hack” chips divot-after-divot of missed fairways only to find a love for the game that is independent horror with a wildly and weaselly whackadoo of film about fur-lined pocket cheek gophers chewing on the golfers’ balls.

Special Edition Hole-in-One “Caddy Hack” On Blu-ray!

Sucked Into Hell. Surrounded By EVIL! “Vampires and Other Stereotypes” reviewed! (Visual Vengeance / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Hell Wants You To Stay for Dinner!  “Vampires and Other Stereotypes” on Blu-ray!

Ivan and his hard-nose partner Harry work between the shadows as protectors of the Earth realm.  The pair of paranormal guardians battle demons attempting to sneak from the Netherworld for more domain and power in the human world.  After thwarting a demon’s reneging plans with a wealthy businessman, they find themselves sucked into a portal to Hell after a group of young partygoers become lost and inadvertently crossover everyone in the abandoned warehouse to the underworld, including the warehouse itself.  Confined to a room with the portal opening, they must band together to survive the night where gnarly demons roam behind every door and are master tricksters with one goal in mind – to breed human women with half-breed demons to procreate more of Hell’s minions.  Its up to Ivan and Harry to see the survivors through until dawn but not everyone is who they seem and when the masks are dropped, real Hell will pounce upon them.  

The northeastern American horror-comedy, “Vampires and Other Stereotypes” is the topsy-turvy and totally-transcendental SOV feature from first-time writer-director Kevin J. Lindenmuth (“Twisted Tales,” “Monsterdocom”).  Shot primarily in Cherry Hill, New Jersey with some exterior city shots of New York City, the film alternatively known as “Hell’s Belles” sought ambitious Hell below Earth undertakings, creating a maze-like dwelling for disfigured dwellers of the demonic kind, and a down-the-rabbit hole story where the head-lopping queen is actually the devil in a leatherjacket playing procreator matchmaker and the Cheshire Cat is a overgrown rat looking to nibble on human flesh rather than cheese.  The rat, as ostentatiously cool as it sound, is simply a slither of one of “Vampires and Other Stereotypes” few themes, which is fear.  Kevin J. Lindenmuth’s production Brimstone Media Productions serves as the studio and Lindenmuth serves as sole producer of his self-funded venture into the vile mouth of the demon world.

“Vampires and Other Stereotypes” follows two difference groups related to the existence of Hell, the demons that inhabit it, and the rogue demons splicing themselves into the human world. One group is the guardians Ivan (Billy White) and Harry (Ed Hubbard) who are very much aware of the esoteric magnitude of the abysmal situation and background while the other group, young Generation X’ers oblivious to the signs of Satan’s underworld seeping into their own. Lead by serial-dater and college girl Kirsten (Wendy Bednarz, “There’s Nothing Out There”) and her two tagalong best friends Linda (Anna Dipace) and Jennifer (Suzanne Scott, “Child of the Sabbat), the ready-to-party trio provide the state of affairs with Kirsten’s nonchalant taste in bad boy boyfriends, believing her courting apathy, treated as an impulse indulgence for the sake of fun, will one day run her out of luck. Enter Erik (Mike McCleery, “Deep Undead”), another misfit miscreant unearthed by Kirsten in her ever unquenching need to be wined, dined, and spoiled by the bottom layers of the dating pool. The two parties clash walking into the epicenter of an open investigation, denoted by an aperture in the middle of the room, where dead, decapitated bodies are strong upside down and Kirsten and her businessman father (Rick Poli, “Blitzkrieg: Escape from Stalag 69) are unexpectedly reunited in an air of something more happening behind the scenes other than Kirsten’s father’s flailing dealings with the demons and Erik’s party-sniffing nose leading them to astray and lost. The rest of the cast comes together with Laura Vale as Rosa the psychic, Monica Batavanis as the wife lost to the dark side, Mike Memphis as the Elvis impersonator, Bean Miller as the Lizard King aka Jim Morrison impersonator, and Sally Narkis as the demon waitress.

Lindenmuth’s dragged to Hell premise is a neat enough concept to peak the interests of the casual and diehard horror fan. However, the executed result is a whole other animal that tends to claw back, trying to maul away your viewership.  The special effects Scotts – Scott Hart and Scott Sliger – pull off practical prosthetics and latex with some side curb appeal that helps lift up “Vampires and Other Stereotypes” as best as possible, but the effects have a difficult time keeping up with the film’s innate ambitious concept to where much of the story relies on character exposition to fill in the gaps and where I note the exposition has a few cracks and leaks in themselves is in the very first word you see in the title that sets the expectation right off the bat before going far into a narrative that constantly and hurriedly builds upon the demonic construct.  That edifice evolves so high and so quick that the air becomes thin when the very first presence of a vampire insert comes late into the third act.  You nearly forget that the word Vampire was ever in the title.  Where Lindenmuth succeeds in this frenzy of fiends and folly is passively providing verbal cues of one of the character’s monotone-delivered pangs of extreme hunger.  Being a New Yorker and a rather large individual, you believe a NYC pizza or a greasy burger would be in mind here to feed the need but then the gag drops with well-timed revelation albeit the severe tardiness inside the narrative framework that suggests maybe the title should have been reworked or better thought through to really add upon that element of surprise and not sit waiting and waiting until bloodsuckers join the jittery jamboree.  While the demons are jovially wicked, their wily ways are playful to a fault compared to an “Evil Dead” Kandarian demon or a twisted and ugly demon from “Night of the Demons,” a class of demons that craft a special kind of deviance that maniacally fun as they rip you to shreds.  Not to say the “Vampires and other Stereotypes” demons are painfully dull or too good to be terrible, quite the opposite in the variety of severed head yappers or an oversized rodent, but they don’t offer that same fear-inducing merriment of playing with their food before they eat it. 

The 12th release on the Visual Vengeance line of dusted off sidelined SOV horror and cult films with a brand-new Blu-ray release with an AVC encoded, 1080p (note: off the original standard definition master 1-inch tape), BD50 presented in the original pillarbox of a 1.33:1 aspect ratio. Visual Vengeance provides the usual prefatory statement about the using the best possible elements out of consumer grade equipment, but I do think “Vampires and Other Stereotypes” has the best details within the Betacam SP camcorder, which was, at the time, the crème de la crème of videotape, and then have the video run through a millimeter gauge emulator to give it a 16, or even stretched to a 35 mm, appearance at times. Tullio Tedeschi cinematography is soft, light, and dreamy that forsakes stark details but does offer a sheen along the surfaces and textures that size up and adds to depth to the objects, even more so with the film’s hard lighting and deep shadows to provide a diversion away from the cheap sets but also a diversion away from what could be lurking from the horror-set tropes. The English language stereo 2.0 has decent dynamism between the dialogue, ambience, and soundtrack. Dialogue has a voice above the other sublayers, separating its prominence in front of the batty surroundings of a demon-riddled rodeo and against a soundtrack, or lack thereof, that’s repetitively uninspiring to takes away from the spirt of the level Lindenmuth attempts to reach with his debut. Optional subtitles are available. Special features include three new audio commentaries with director Kevin Lindenmuth, actor Mike McCleery and Lindenmuth, and Weng’s Chop Magazine’s Tony Strauss. Also included are new, brief interviews with Lindenmuth on the technical tangents of his film, actress Laura McLauchlin surrounding her role as Rosa and various recollection of principal photography, actor Mike McCleery as bad boy Erik fitting into his skintight, nonbreathable demon mask and having a good time on set overall, Suzanne Turner on playing Jennifer, Sally Narkis in her brief role as demon waitress and her sidetracking fashion career, and plus interviews with makeup effects artist Ralis Kahn, special effects artist Scott Sliger, photographer Sung Pak, and publicist Joe Mauceri with behind-the-scenes image gallery, original trailer, Visual Vengeance trailers, and Lindenmuth early Super 8 films along with commentary by the director. As always, the physical presentation is nothing short of a thing of pure beauty with a rigid slipcover graced with new illustration by Tom “The Dude Designs’ Hodge with a traditionally sized clear Blu-ray amaray case with reversible front cover that includes more new looming demon heads art and the original one-sheet on the reverse side that really relates to the dreaminess of the photography. In the insert pocket is stuffed a color trifold essay from Tony Strauss with behind-the-scene stills, a folded mini poster of the Blu-ray case cover art, and retro VHS stickers. Disc art is pressed with the slipcover art. Region free for the world to see, the Blu=ray is unrated and has a 87 minutes. Nominal and ambitious, “Vampires and Other Stereotypes” fights an uphill battle coming off the heels of an extremely gorified video nasties of the 1980s, but Lindenmuth fulfills with an indiscriminate spread of insanity at every turn with some vivid and vibrant vanward effects to drive this one home to the great people at Visual Vengeance, a boutique distributor of lost, but not forgotten, SOV buried treasure ready to be rediscovered.

Hell Wants You To Stay for Dinner!  “Vampires and Other Stereotypes” on Blu-ray!