Evil Rises to Kill Teenagers! “Jonah Lives” review!

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A group of bored teenagers decides to up their spirits by dusting off a $25 Ouija board and taking it for a supernatural spin to reach those beyond the grave. When deep in chant, a contact is made with the spirit of a murdered man named Jonah. The arrogant teens conjuring seeks to try and resurrect Jonah for relentless vengeance on his killer – his wife. The teens’ arrogance gets the best of them and Jonah does rise from the grave, but his thirst for murder homes in on the teens’ lives and Jonah traps them inside a basement with no way out and no way of calling for dire help.
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“Jonah Lives” construction tends to be a respectful gothic budget horror film of meshed sub genres. Deep within the bone structures of the Luis Carvalho directed film lies a grab bag that includes zombies, possession, torment, and vengeance, but with a conglomerate of styles wrapped into one film, the difficult struggle of pinning down the motivation of our killer Jonah seems lost in translation. Certainly a force to be reckoned with who absolutely looks the part as a deteriorating dead guy, Jonah awakes from his angst-slumber to seek vengeance, but why take it out on the teenagers who resurrected him? That’s the million dollar question. Did the Ouija board inject evilness into Jonah to put him on such a murderous rage? What’s also odd is the character Zora, Jonah’s murderous ex-wife, is part of the cast but not necessarily included in harms way in the basement and isn’t a primary target for Jonah. Instead, Zora party-hardies upstairs with the rest of the intoxicated grownups.
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B-horror vet Brinke Stevens headlines “Jonah Lives” as Zora. Stevens’ role is fairly minor when compared to the other cast members who names probably make the D-list film status and are not as recognizable as Brinke Stevens. However, there are some strong performances from the relatively unknown cast giving the film more girth than the story itself. Lead actor Ryan Boudreau’s acting style is very relaxed and smooth as a known-it-all jock with a guilt-ridden conscious that brings the character a full 180 degrees. I wanted to note Nicole LaSala’s character Lydia, who either has a breakdown after the brutal and gruesome death of her boyfriend at the hands of Jonah or she just shares some sort of Ouija board connection with Jonah that drivers her absolutely mad. The tell all about Lydia comes to no unfold. LaSala’s embodies the soul of the Joker from Batman for Lydia who constantly laughs and being mean spirited toward the remaining survivors. I didn’t necessarily feel the spiritual connection between Lydia and Jonah and lean toward nixing that theory.
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The special effects are very minor, but appreciatively practical. The minute effects shouldn’t be unexpected due to budgetary constraints. Carvalho and his special effects team along with some simple editing tricks goes a long way. Not as bloody as hoped, but Jonah does commit to a classic zombie bite to the neck and takes a chunk out, stretching the skin and spewing blood out of the wound, chops an arm off Jean Rollin’s “Grapes of Death” style and bashes the victim with it, and caves in a few teen skulls. While there are moments of editing brilliance, there were many scenes that over edited and, basically, replayed the same scene from a different angle and this reoccured multiple times. Also, massive editing effect is like having an epileptic episode that numbs the brain.
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“Jonah Lives” hit retail outlets this past April and this 2012 zombie revenge film is looking to rise above the rest of the new releases. I’m thinking it’ll stay grounded because it’s resembles much of the same we’ve all seen before. I’d found myself entranced more with the score by Russell Estrela as it blends tonal styles of Italian Giallo with the 80’s slasher such as the repetition of Harry Mandfredini to the synth’s of John Carpenter. Check it out yourself from Wild Eye Releasing.

Kiss Your Cousin and Watch Some Evil! “Hillbilly Horror Show Vol.1” review!

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Bo, Cephus, and their kissing cousin Lulu lounge on their small trailer park camper couch drinking ice cold beer and watching a bag-filled of horror shorts discs. A fear-filled anthology containing four of the best horrifying shorts from some of the most talented and unknown filmmakers displayed for our country-bunpkin viewing pleasure.

For the most part, horror anthologies are the bane of my existence. The appeal of numerous plot lines, not intertwined, swells and overflows the mind. Trying to process it all is like dumping all your Thanksgiving leftovers down the garbage disposal and witnessing it clogging up trying to choke down week old Turkey, bits of yellow kernel corns, and de-gelatized cranberry jelly patties.
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…but every once and awhile a worthy anthology gets it right, gets the gist of what makes the innards of good collection of horror shorts. I commend good compilation releases such as “Body Bags,” “Creepshow,” and “ABCs of Death.” Believe it or not or take my recommendation with a grain of salt, but “Hillbilly Horror Show Vol. 1” is on the same awesome level as those I’ve just listed in not so marketable fashion.
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1: “Franky and The Ant”

Franky and his partner are hitmen and their current mark is a sexy, barely clad young lady. With bag over her head, the two men drag her to the isolated field where an open grave was previous dug. When the target is revealed to the two men, Franky has more in store for his partner and his target than what meets the eye.
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“Franky and The Ant” is a quick-wit and smart short about lover revenge in a chilly cold-hearted and thrilling way. This short will make you think twice about the people who are close to you in more ways than one. Directed by first timer Billy Hayes, the festival winning short is a crime thriller with just the right amount of duration and enough story to make it compelling.
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2: “Doppleganger”

In this stop motion short, a skeleton awakes alone in a cave and ventures out on a journey into the world. Walking across great lands and discovery the desolation of the world, the skeleton stumbles upon another skeleton. They’re both seemingly the same with only the lower jaw missing from the second skeleton. When the journeying skeleton extends a hand in friendship, friendship is not what the doppelganger is seeking.
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Director Theo Stefanski creates a gothic and surreal looking info life after death and then death again. The message of nothing changes after death is a bit depressing in a comical depiction. The animation wonderfully constructed with love of classical inspirations. The short is short but the takeaway is everlasting.
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3: “Amused”

Martha returns home to her snow covered house to find an insane individual munching on her daughter’s scalp. The crazed man then wears the detached scalp on his head and chases Martha through the cold countryside. With every hope of help, more terror lurks around every corner and its up to Martha to resolve her own salvation against the sinister amusement that has overcome the murders.
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Cuyle Carvin is a vet in the film industry and with “Amused” being his first attempt at direction just proves that his experience is a test of time spent on the independent and Hollywood scene. “Amused” is well shot even if the film stock quality isn’t up to snuff; this might have been purposefully done give the tone and feel of the short a more retro sensation. The short has no dialogue and translate so well to the viewer that no chatter is necessary and I would go as far as unwanted. I would love to see more from Cuyle Carvin in the future in the horror genre and see a longer version of “Amused.”
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4: “The Nest”

A small town diner has an award-winning, business-thriving honey from a deadly hive of over-sized, flesh eating swarm of bees that are kept secret. When a horse rancher and a government land inspector investigate the remains of a flesh-ridden horse, the diner owner and her dim-witted mute son strive to keep their hive a secret.
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Saving the best short for last, Tim Zwica’s masterful short contains flawless acting and a story that fun as it is thrilling. Flesh eating bees. Who know that would be fun? The dark tone of the film’s cinematography surely heightens the appeal of the film and the special effects creates an allure that can’t be ignored. The Nest is produced by the ever-so-lovely Jennifer Scott who also plays a goth-hooligan girl who gets ravaged by the bees. “The Nest” might be a Syfy mega hit if it was made into a full length feature much in the same vain of “Sharknado” but I would predict that “The Nest” would have three times more success.
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I’m hooked on “Hillybilly Horror Show” and I wouldn’t mind seeing more of Glamour model Rachel Faulker and her skimpy outfits. Horror shorts with girth, grit, and guts unlike any anthology I’ve seen in a very, very long time. The “Hillbilly Horror Show” is today’s Joe Bob Briggs with more redneck fun. MVDVisual brings volume one home and I would recommend this DVD, though the cover lacks much artistic enthusiasm, with award winning shorts as these filmmakers need more exposure and new talent is brooding behind the scenes of Hollywood.

Evil Wants You to Be a Better Father! “In the House of Flies” review!

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Heather and Steve take a trip into the city in June of ’88. Adversely, their romantic holiday turns into a nightmare of claustrophobia, torture, and a fear when a maniac abducts the couple and holds them in small, enclosed basement of a middle of nowhere house in a undisclosed location. Using a broken rotary phone that only receives inbound calls, the abductor plays a horrifying psychological game that will test the bounds of Heather and Steve’s strong relationship.
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Director Gabriel Carrer and screenwriter Angus McLellan have proven that their diabolical host lives up to being the epitome of unsympathetic, unreasonable, and sadistic in “In the House of Flies”. The captor leaves no room for wiggle and makes the outlook for our hero and heroine look tragically bleak and sorrowful. The method on how Steve and Heather manage to overcome their host doesn’t jive well with me. Surely a smart and methodical person would not be so careless agains’t two individuals who have to be delirious and weak after weeks of isolation and starvation. Yet, somehow in a matter of a few minutes, the delirious and weak couple hardly break a sweat and barely struggle for victory. I hoped for a better ending, but I shouldn’t take away from the devilish qualities of their capture who lives up to other iconic insane captors such as John Kramer.
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The subject matter is obviously dark and realistic. Heather and Steve are put into a position where their love for each other is tested to the brink of it’s limit. Will Steve kill himself to save Heather? Will Steve kill himself to save Heather and their unborn two-month term baby? Will Heather kill Steve to save herself? The couple reach breaking points and question their adoration. The host is firmly behind the wheel of his own sadistic game and wants only one thing and that is the destruction of Steve; his will knowns no limits when dealing with women or unborn children. Though the plot reeks of sinister events, the dialogue and the characters actions don’t reflect the film’s blunt storyline. Heather and Steve are a bit too comfortable in their newly dim basement home and kind of accept being kidnapped or give up far too quickly. Rated as unrated, “In the House of Flies” has a tame dialogue. The rap between Steve and Heather and the host doesn’t convey the aggression one may convey if frightened and angry. Graphic scenes are another tame portion of the film that I feel a movie of this caliber could have heightened, but I admire filmmakers that can provoke without having to visually exploit and that is what “In the House of Flies” does here.
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The cast of three is fairly solid. Much can’t go wrong if you have a limit number of actors and actresses and other films have proven this such as Ryan Reyonlds in “Buried” or even the Sandra Bullock lost in space film “Gravity.” Surrounded by unbreakable nothing can be more unsettling than the most vicious and ruthless of villains and can bring out the greatness in most actors and actresses. While I believe Ryan Kotack (Steve) and Lindsay Smith (Heather) do an amazing job as struggling survivors, the characters are a bit overly dramatic very early in the film showing signs of weakness and lethargy too early for effect. Punk rocker legend Henry Rollins is the voice of the caller and I must say I couldn’t even tell it was the punk rock icon. Rollins delivers a monotone sardonic voice that could scare the shit out of anybody.
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“In the House of Flies” shows that independent exploitation horror is not yet dead. This film will burn right into your brain leaving you scarred and scared of the cruelty in the world. Though still very Worthy of all the film festival nominations and wins, this thriller was given an 80’s retrofitted treatment that doesn’t quite live up to the video nasty era, but does invoke questions about love in dire situations and who would you save: Your unborn baby? The love of your life? Or yourself? Check out the Parade Deck Films feature distributed on DVD January 20th, 2015 by my pals at MVD!

Nudity Report

No Nudity 😦

 

Ready to Choke on Evil? “Collar” review!

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Rookie officer Dana starts her shift as usual and like any other night patrolling with her partner the drug dealt and working girl streets of the city. Responding to a working girl assault behind a pharmacy leads Dana down a path of violence, torture, rape, and cannibalism. A wandering drifter murders her partner and forces a leashed collar around her neck, raping her repeatedly, and subjecting her to his lunacy. Who will come to her rescue? Her pregnant lesbian girlfriend? The drug dealing pimp and his prostitute? Or will it be the two violence junkies looking to record every detailed of the wanderer?
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Director Ryan Nicholson, better known for his directorial of the 80’s slasher-homage film “Gutterballs,” pens and helms a disturbing look into the soul of a massive killer whose background involves clergy abuse leads him to renounce film, take up Satanist rituals, and reek havoc amongst anybody who stands in his way. Genre vet Nick Principe (Chromesull from the “Laid to Rest” films) dons the garbage-clad homeless man look and uses his gargantuan build to create the character of Massive, a stricken man living off abusive fears and a re-wired mental state where killing, raping, and chowing down on human hearts is all he knows.
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But where Massive’s rampage stems from his backstory narrated by flashbacks to explain his intentions, his hunger for hearts can be only guessed at for his rituals for Satan. That’s the whole state of “Collar,’ where the motivation is a guessing game and instead, “Collar” also realistically reveals a more perversive farce to not only Massive’s maniacal being, but to also the surrounding stereotyped characters begging to become dead meat at the hands of Massive. Not one single character to put stock into leaves more than a bad taste and we circle back around to the only character for whom to root for and that would be Massive. Even Dana, our supposed heroine according to the synopsis, isn’t a tough cop. Dana gives up almost immediately to Massive and doesn’t fight back agains’t her rape and doesn’t fight for her survival. Instead, Dana whimpers and cowers, too afraid to take on the brute who gutted her partner and ate his heart.
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Gore is where the film flourishes but, sadly, that is where the blooming ends. “Collar” is a ride at an amusement park that looks so thrilling, so exciting, so stimulating that you’re thirst to ride can hardly be quenched, but when the ride comes to an end and you’re walking out the ride’s gate, you grumble under your breath becomes you’ve been lied to because the fierce facade of the ride was only a mask, a smoke and mirror, to lure you into a mediocre experience. That’s how I felt after viewing “Collar.” The promising cover and a synopsis had to drooling from the mouth, but the girth, the heart and soul, didn’t thrill me nor excite me – well maybe Aiden Dee and Mihola Terzic’s nude scenes might have perked me up a tad and gave me a thrill somewhere.
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Positives due reside in Ryan Nicholson’s “Collar.” Chillwave snyth music from Protector 101 (http//protector101.bandcamp.com) puts the work in for the score at the beginning and ending credits creating a retro vibe that might suit Nicholson’s “Gutterballs” than “Collar.” Unearthed Films is a particular film label that you can expect some nasty, gore and shock films from and “Collar” certainly fits the mold, but as of late the quality of the films have diminished and not so much the storyline but also on the technical side. The ambiance score drowns out too many scenes wroth of dialogue making the dialogue totally inaudible.

“Collar” is a short 77 minute film of one man’s distaste for humanity and to deliver evil amongst all. Certainly an anti-religion, or anti-clergyman, film sparking more controversy than entertainment when consisting of three rape scenes, multiple eaten hearts, unhelpful voyeurs, and a savor for vengeful justice. “Collar” hits retail shelves November 18.

Syfy’s “Z Nation” S1Ep8 ‘Zunami’

Murphy has put himself the blurred line category when speaking of heros for “Z Nation.” Episode eight, ‘Zunami,’ pits our heros against a migrated cloud of fleshing eating zombies that will rip through the midwest like a shredder. A dehydrated and weary group of survivors must rely on Murphy’s anti-zombie blood to aid them in their con of hiding from the human-feasters.
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This episode is really all about the Murphy character and his choices. He crosses the line in actually wanting to stick with the group, but at the same time makes a drastic decision to exhaust the life of two survivors to spare his own group. Now not only is Murphy slowly and painfully transforming physically and mentally into a Z, he’s crossed that imaginary line of morals and ethics by taking a life indirectly.

Citizen Z finally received a lot of air time. I was wondering when isolation would get the best of our scrawny NSA agent. Isolation and a compound load of harmful, delusion inducing carbon-monoxide gases. The outcome was obvious, but there whole invent of the imaginary astronaut for ISS sparked something in Citizen Z and at the same depressed him a bit as well. His “astronaut friend’s” realization was a bit bittersweet.
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This episode paid their dues to Murphy and Citizen Z characters. I’m still waiting on more exquisite and gory zombie death scenes. We haven’t seen much since ‘Philly Feast.’ Yea, you get the occasional headshot, but that’s getting old real quick. In fact, this episode lacked many deaths I think only one or two if I recall. I hope that this will deter any viewers and I also hope that this isn’t a decline from a very spectacular start of episodes for “Z Nation”