Tag Archives: evil dead

Evil Walker Porn! The Walking Dead Hardcore Parody is Cumming!

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Fan of AMC’s The Walking Dead? Fan of porn? You’re in luck because a hardcore parody of The Walking Dead is in the works and there’s a trailer for it! Burning Angel Entertainment, the alternative tattoo emo-girl porn company, takes the walkers into a whole new, filthy direction. Burning Angel is also behind other great horror inspired parodies such as Evil Head (Evil Dead), The EXXXorcist (Exorcist) and Re-Penetrator (Re-Animator); all of which star Joanna Angel.
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The trailer is practically PG, but you can visit Burning Angel.com to get a feel (or a feel on yourself) about how Rick and his group might become a little closer together.

Candarian Evil is Back! Evil Dead remake review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on

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Some moviegoers pride themselves as being a purist especially hardcore horror fans who are looking for an excuse to bash the shit out of anything that isn’t already the horror norm. Remakes are notorious for being made and resulting to being just a money-hungry cash-in and being an absolute piece of garbage bringing shame to the original crew of the original movie. Only once in awhile, a remake will come along to excite and thrill while still being true and respectful to the original movie. Evil Dead is very true and very respectful.

Four friends watch over a drug recovering addict going cold turkey in a woodsy remote cabin. They happen upon the Necronomican – a book bound in human flesh and inked in human blood – and release soul possessing and feasting demons that bring bloody havoc upon group of friends.
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With Sam Raimi, Rob Tapert, and Bruce Campbell backing and producing complete the remake project helmed by newcomer Fede Alvarez, you could call this movie a slam dunk and was from start to finish. Right from beginning, the blood begins and, boy, did the blood keep flowing. Raimi’s The Evil Dead intended to be a frightening movie with lots of gore with very little campiness. Alvarez’s Evil Dead just amplified the scary and quadrupled the gore with little to no campiness while keeping Raimi’s story practically whole through the film’s duration and even putting little tidbit easter eggs in film much like Raimi did with placing Freddy Kueger’s blade claw in the tool shed to show respect to Wes Craven and Nightmare on Elm Street.

Fede Alvarez’s Evil Dead is it’s own monster when being compared to the original film while still being a “Video Nasty.” I’d call Evil Dead a proud and gruesome spawn based off the original intent of Raimi’s The Evil Dead. If you’re Evil Dead 2 or Army of Darkness fan, you can completely forget about any humor being portrayed here; all the fun and games will be left out until Evil Dead 4 makes some kind of potential wave.
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Call me impressed by Fede Alveraz who has all short films under his belt. I watched his robo-apocolyptic short Panic Attack and thought he had an eye for detail and the details for Evil Dead are right on the nose – the Cabin, the overzealous fog, the controversial woods scene, – but Fede did add his own. For example, there is no Ash (which might piss some people off more than the rest), the whole reason for being at the cabin, the explanation of the Necronomicon, the ending. Yet all these elements make the movie stand on it’s own two evil feet. It is mindless, it is gory, it is sick and it is fun – just like the original.

Evil Gets Sleazy! Sexcula review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on

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Alright! Vintage horror porn! Well, maybe not vintage, but definitely retro porn! Director John Holbrook directs his own horror spoof Sexcula in 1974 nearly 40 years prior to the more recent spoof entitled This Ain’t Dracula XXX. Neither flick will scare your pants off, but somehow your pants will still come off especially with Debbie Collin’s as the sleazy Countess Sexcula!

This campy sexcapade blends horror with hardcore, bushy pornography that includes a the horny Countess Sexcula, a buxom blonde that can’t wait to sink her teeth into the next willing male, and her cousin Dr. Fallatingstein, a saucy brunette who builds a pleasure mate with a serious flaccid problem. Sexcula is brought in to help her cousin in trying to “lift” her mate’s spirits with various seductive pleasures and other depraved methods.

Striptease Gorilla!

Striptease Gorilla!

Honestly, I’ve never heard of Sexcula so when I popped the Synapse and Impulse Picture’s disc into the player, I was pleasantly shocked that Sexcula turned out to be a full-fledged pornographic movie; once I saw the tip of the penis being swirled around the lips of Debbie Collins I knew I was in for a treat! Collin’s doesn’t just get naked, she gets naked plus performing scene after scene and perform the nasty after the nasty while a loose plot is woven in throughout…somewhere….you just have to kind of look past the sex to see the plot.

Sexcula becomes a bit kinky too. In order to get Dr. Fallatingstein’s man in working order, Sexcula conducts a striptease with a Gorilla involved! A sex-bot lies motionless on a table ready and willing to receive any throbbing member even from Orgie (prnounced Or-g) the lonely hunchback Quasimodo-type character. Also, and I think this is the most perverse part of the movie, the stick-it-to-the-institution-of-marriage porn scene where a couple can’t wait to say “I do” before a foursome madness ensues. The scene also brings a new meaning to “wife-swapping” as the bride takes on not only the groom, but the best man and the priest too!

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If the plot was given more thought and a better writing to it’s campiness, Sexcula would have been a stellar hit in porno world. I’d would have liked to have seen more horror a long with the sex, but with any porn spoof like This Ain’t Dracula XXX or Evil Head you have to unbalance the plot with more humor than horror or else the feel of the film more turn more into a snuff film. With the lushness of 1970s horror with the UK Hammer horror films and the United States’ exploitative films, the Canadians could not capitalize or even utilize the horror elements and instead focused more on peace and leave – the way the 70’s are stereotypically viewed.

I’m also disappointed that Jamie Orlando, Dr. Fallatingstein, didn’t grace us with her body. But I shouldn’t be bashing Sexcula; I shouldn’t be expecting more than what meets the eye; I should take things at face value. What should I expect from a movie named Sexcula? Just a ravaging romp of lots of hot un-condomized sex ready to spread all the love and diseases one could handle! Bring on the Sexcula and I must have SEX on the mind because I just reviewed another sex-titled filmed Sexsquatch which you can read my review of the film here.

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Vampires Can Be Your Evil Saviors! The Caretaker Review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on

The-CaretakerDon’t quite count out the vampire genre just yet.  Like the blood thirsty undead, the vampire genre just keeps resurrecting.  Vampire films might be critically castrated for the majority of the time, but there are times when a vampire film just had a lot of heart, especially in a no to low-budget project like the film I’m reviewing in this article – The Caretaker.  Directory Tom Conyers has no feature film directing experience.  Actor Mark White has no feature film acting experience.  Must can be said about the rest of the cast while a couple of them also worked in shorts and television series, but The Caretaker is a real test for the cast on such a venturous storyline.

Mosquito bites cause what many believe to be an epidemic of the flu in the area of Melbourne, Australia.  What the residents of Melbourne believed were wrong…dead wrong.  The bites cause the victims to turn into vampires that reaches out beyond the lines of Melbourne and spread across the world.  A small, on-edge group of four humans hold up on a small vineyard plantation where a vampire has claimed his nest.  In exchange for their protection during the day, the vampire offers his protection against his own kind at night.  The tension is thick not only between human and vampire, but also between human and human.

Now not to rain down on The Caretaker’s parade even though I do like the movie, but I feel there is always too much melodrama.  Melodrama seems to be a plague for many low-budget horror films just because the crew can’t add in top dollar special effects to entertain leaving a “talking head” movie syndrome inevitable.  But I can divulge that the fact that in spite there being melodrama spewing from every orifice, this doesn’t make The Caretaker a bad movie.  The characters are complex enough to welcome some of the “talking head” script.  There are internal conflicts in the characters themselves and they are also projected upon the other survivors causing turmoil in the house or “nest.”

When I said that many low-budget horror films just don’t have the dough to afford high-tech special effects, I didn’t intend on that to mean that The Caretaker’s effects were awful.  I rather enjoyed the effects as they were minimal and believable.  Some effects make a movie campy, but The Caretaker was all serious business and took the vampire story on a different level with an earnest commitment.  Mark White’s as the protective vampire Dr. Ford Grainger who never reveals a good side or an evil side.  We just know he is a bad ass vampire vampire slayer.  The human characters give off the same complexities with only Colin McPherson’s character Lester portraying anything that resembles a villain as the 50-year-old creepy vineyard owner who loves to chase after young women and that young woman happens to be the manic depressed Annie played by Anna Burgess.  Guy and Ron round out the last of the characters played by Clint Dowdell and Lee Mason and these two are buddy buddy at first until Annie’s secret comes to the forefront and then it is game on between the four humans and the lone vampire.

The Caretaker won’t knock your socks off, but comes off as a decent vampire genre flick.  Don’t expect flying body parts or gruesome scenes of vampire attacks with blood squirting in every direction.  Take it in like a worth seeing television soap drama and try to see the heart in the center like I did.  Then, after it is all over and you still didn’t care for The Caretaker, you can rip out that heart and eat with a side of lima beans and wash it down with a nice cold beer, but hey, at least you gave it a try, right?

Trailer for The Caretaker

Hidden evils will be your undoing! Death’s Door review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Remember those 80’s and early 90’s demonic films that had the camera pretend to be a floating spirit like in Evil Dead or the original Night of the Demons?  Exposing women’s breasts were a mere exploitive stunt as the well endowed ladies’ shirts just happen to fall off because of a single, light and accidental touch.  The blood waved in like a killer tsunami and the body count was as high as Mount Fuji!  Those were the good ole days of demonic horror with the clarity of the hero and, sometimes, villains was not so black and white.  This melancholy brings me to George Schileppi’s 2008 killer specter and possession film Death’s Door where he skims the surface of all that glory said above and never really sinks his teeth into something that has been, at least to me, long lost in the world of horror.

Television psychic Madame Camille uses smoke and mirrors to make her guest believe they’re actually speaking to their loved ones.  When an aggressive religious driven radio evangelist is invited to face his accusations of murder, Madame Camille’s psuedo-powers become a reality and she has to tap into the evil possessing the evangelist that has trapped the frightened cast and crew inside the station.  One by one people die a gruesome, horrifying death and the survivors are running out of time in finding a way out of their tomb.

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