Category Archives: comedy

An EVIL Drug That Can Cure Your Crabs and Boil Your Insides! “Private Blue” (SRS Cinema / DVD)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Private Blue” is on the case! DVD Now Available.

A new drug is on the streets of Edmonton, Alberta.  Call Shrink, the drug can produce a massive high and contains a high level of antivirals that can cure any sexually transmitted disease, but there’s a side effect.  If taken in a single excess amount, the drug can boil your insides, leaving nothing left.  The Edmonton police are stuck on the case with no leads and to make progress on the fast-moving drug epidemic that has now claimed the life of a daughter of a prominent sports booky, the department hires Tony Blue, an ex-cop now private investigator who can use unconventional means outside the scope of police authority to get the needed information, such as where Shrink is being peddled and produced.  Working down the vine, Blue runs through the hierarchy from street pushers to the manufacturing kingpin, a brusque and brutish strip club owner named Wanda who will stop at nothing and will not let anyone get in her way to fill the streets with her deadly, venereal disease-curing drug.

A comedic spin on the 1980’s lone wolf cop-thriller, “Private Blue” immerses itself into every trope manageable inside its indie budget with business in the front, party in the back mullets, bad guy chases and beatdowns, and a smoke-filled and color gel-brightened assortment of atmospheres that propagates the cop film neo noir aspects.  The accountable party behind this crass cop caper are a pair of brothers, Devin and Robert Burkosky, based in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.  The brothers produce, write, direct, and one-half star in what is their sophomore feature film behind the 2018 comedy-horror “Load Shark Massacre” that’s about a murderous loan shark who bites off more than he can chew.  Continuing the trend of drugs, violence, and psychotronic absurdities, “Private Blue” is an extension of their creative effort into crime action with a horror edge but with this time, they add a science-fiction element straight out of the boondocks of left field.   The feature is produced under the Burkosky company, Beechmont Entertainment. 

Robert Burkosky jumps into the titular role of “Private Blue” as a wisecracking and arrogant Tony Blue, an expelled detective because of his purloining of the evidence locker for his own needs, but Blue is a great chase-down detective, if not the best with his quick wit and adept situational skillset that makes him valuable.  Burkosky hams up Blue’s cocky attitude and Miami Vice-lite dress with linen blazer overtop a white tank top, sporting aviator glasses, and flaunting a greasy-looking mullet to accentuate the arrogance and confidence.  Opposite Burkosky is Moira MacKinnon as the larger-than-life adult industry head honcho and criminal mastermind Wanda who’s behind the manufacturing and distribution of the Shrink drug.  Having had a role in the Burkosky’s debut feature “Loan Shark Massacre” and was recently in their last film, the 2025 “Heat Score” that’s currently in post-production, MacKinnon’s a Burkosky go-to regular and her performance in “Private Blue” is perhaps my personal favorite with the Rita from “Power Rangers” voice and cackle and a maniacally expressed face as she bulldozes people into what she wants, no matter friend or foe.  “Private Blue’s” colorful cast doesn’t end there as there’s plenty of outrageous personalizes that are typical of a Burkosky brothers production, such as Tommy Grimes in drag playing the role of a female assigned stripper named Candy, Wolfgang Johnson as a low-level, guitar-playing, drug pusher, and Rod Wolfe as an older, mid-level dealer who wears various peppers around his neck like a necklace.  Dean Lonsdale, Ian Rowley, Dave Qurik, Kaley Leblanc, Jesse Hicks, Arielle McCuaig, Christian Stahl, and Brandi Strauss fill out the cast.

For what the Burkosky’s try to achieve in churning out “Private Blue” as a throwback of hard-boiled sleuth work, there’s success is select areas.  One of those successful portions is the phenomenally pastiche 80’s soundtrack by Robert Burkosky and the general aesthetic of the said decade with smoke-filled room illuminated by the gel lighting.  Wardrobing occasionally lands in the same era but there’s really no set point in time the story takes place but rather a mishmash of decades.  Devin and Robert, the latter quickly establishing himself as nearly a one-man show for the entire production, are competent editors that make “Private Blue” an easily digestible narrative.  What’s not easily digestible are the jokes that, for the most part, land flat.  The colorful characters do indeed entertain in their ineloquence and idiosyncrasies, but the script lacks that gut punch humor.  Instead, the script is riddled with fart gags, which personally I’m not a terrible fan of its audiological stink, and the jokes continue periodically throughout in every, or every other, scene of just randomized farting when a character sits, squats, or actually flatulates purposefully as a way of gag-inducing defense.  While most jokes don’t jive in jest, there are a handful that do, such as Tommy Grimes convincing our sexuality as dolled up sex worker Candy or Robert Burkosky’s lengthy slow-motion dance scene with a bunch of strippers at Wanda’s club.  Hilarity, as well as spurts of graphic violence, continue through whenever the story perversely changes course and mostly for the better. 

“Private Blue” is on the case.  Or, rather, is inside the case of an DVD Amaray with the release from ultra-indie underground label SRS Cinema.  The MPEG-2 encoded, standard definition 420p, DVD-R with the purple underbelly has a less-than-desired picture quality that’s par for the course with SRS Cinema.  Yet, all the sub-def eyesores are not terribly off-putting thanks to some decent camera equipment and know-how by the Burkoskys.  The palatable image has a flat grading only targeting contrast during it gel-lit scenes and the film is presented in 1.33:1 full screen that’s shot-on-videotape with uniform moments of interlacing.  Imaging produced is a result of a macro lens, encompassing even less within the standard framing and providing a flatter field that loses a bit of the depth.  The LPCM stereo mix that offers an ample dialogue track and range of audio layers that create a fair separation.  Robert Burkosky’s soundtrack epitomizes the balance between the layers when amplifying to make it the star of the scene.  Gun shots, thrown punches, and, even to an extent, the fart gags find the relative right level within a campy mix.  English captioning is available on this DVD.  Special features include a paralleling director’s commentary track, a blooper and outtake reel, the film’s trailer, and other SRS Cinema trailers.  SRS Cinema’s physical copy is standard fair but does showcase a blue-hued illustrative artwork that’s appealing and accurate with the same, but cropped, design pressed on the disc.  The 96-minute film comes not rated and is region free.

Last Rites: A debased tribute to the hard-boiled 80’s cop actioner, The Burkosky Brothers “Private Blue” has potential to be a great accolade of the subgenre as well as be funny but falls short with an overuse of pass gas gags and its inability to surpass that tenor.

“Private Blue” is on the case! DVD Now Available.

White Space Men are the EVIL Captains of the Zombie-inducing Slave Trade and Intergalactic Fast-Food Industry! “Race War: The Remake” reviewed! (Wild Eye Releasing: Raw & Extreme / DVD)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Get Caught Up in the Middle of a “Race War: The Rmeake” on DVD

Drug dealer Baking Soda is feeling the peddling pangs of dropped traffic for his crystal pure PCP.  With no one buying his smack, he and his friend G.E.D. reside back home to drink with their close fish-headed friend Kreech and sleep off the day’s failure to try again tomorrow.  Their persistence to sell puts them on the radar of a white supremacy group vending a new drug on the street, the cause for Baking Soda’s drop in sales, but their product isn’t just going to get users high, it will turn them into flesh-eating zombie slaves.  When G.E.D. is kidnapped by the group, Baking Soda and Krrech have to run through the list of suspects – Jews, Hispanics, Chinese, and others – for the source of his sale woes and to rescue his friend, guns blazing if necessary or if unnecessary, but there may be more extraterrestrial motives that haven’t yet been unearthed. 

“Race War: The Remake” is a 2012 politically incorrect, ultra-offensive spoof comedy and blaxploitation horror from writer-director Tom Martino.  A Tom Savini school graduate, te special effects artist Martino (“Dead of Knight,” “Return to Nuke ‘Em High Volume 1,” “Doll Factory”) takes helm in the director’s chair for his debut in indie feature productions with one of the wildest, crudest, and tactlessly funny comedy-horrors I’ve seen since Troma’s “The Taint.”  Set in and around Houston, Texas and the greater surrounding area with guerrilla filming in locations such as the Houston Space Center and shooting with permission at the Darke Institute’s Phobia Haunted House, “Race War:  The Remake” doesn’t have an originating film despite the title in what is considered a spoof sequel – think of examples “Dude Bro Massacre III” and it’s standalone release or the non-existent second sequel between  “Thankskilling” and “Thankskilling III.”  Martino produces his own work under his outside of Houston-based company DWN Productions that doubles in making horror theme masks, busts, and props.

Thick-skinned actors comfortable with the narrative’s uncomfortable themes begin with Howard Calvert and Jamelle Kent as Baking Soda and G.E.D.  Calbert and Kent have become regulars in the Tom Martino catalogue of cast members for his more recent films and their humble beginnings in “Race War:  The Remake” proved their longevity to stay with the director, who is white, who wrote extensive race, gender, sexuality, and fart jokes in the context of a comedy-horror with cringy stereotypes and genuine tributes.  Calvert and Kent have great comedic timing to pull off all the zany editing, sound bites, and practical effects distaste Martino has flaming axe tosses at them to achieve his vision.  The two are joined by Danny McCarty, who would become another regular and be the visual effects supervisor for the film, dressed head-to-toe in loose-fitting urban attire to match the theme of Calvert and Kent’s black A-shirt and do-rags but his hands and face are masked to become the Creature from the Black Lagoon, aka Kreech.  Martino’s “Race War:  The Remake” isn’t just about the terrestrial races but intergalactic ones as well and we soon see that later on with the intentions of neo-Nazi white drug suppliers, led by Matt Rogers’ vulgarity in the horseshoe mustached Tex.  There are various other encountered gross stereotypes in the trio’s urban quest, such as a large nosed, greedy Jewish lawyer, Mexican luchador bodyguards, and a Pai Mei-esque Shifu speaking gibberish har har sounds and listing off popular Americanized Chinese dishes in attempt to be derogatorily funny.  With a film titled as “Race Wars:  The Remake,” the cast is mostly white and black actors poking uncouth fun with a big unconcerned and insensitive stick with Corey Fuller, Kerryn Ledet, Sam Rivas, and Coady Allen listed in the cast.

“Race Wars:  The Remake” isn’t funny, it’s stupid funny!  Having grown up in the 1980-2000s, consciously I might add, Martino’s politically incorrect and his brand of juvenile humor resonates with me, reminding me how cinema has become numb to the spoof humor.  Granted, Martino’s humor is over the top cutting, gross, and full of jest bigotry, traits that would trigger many in today’s sensitive awareness, and while cringy after a tasteless joke may result, there’ll likely be some a side of the mouth chuckle to go along with it.  On the opposite side of the spectrum, Martino tributes to references of certain popular culture icons, though slightly bastardizing some for laughs.  From Peter Jackson’s “Bad Taste,” to “Creature from the Black Lagoon,” to even “Mortal Kombat,” “Race Wars: The Remake” integrates the best parts of each these staples of pop culture and that gives his film a leg up on other offensive spoofs of the same crass caliber.  Th one negative story structure item to  highlight is the act one narrative takes a while to work the gears and get going as it attempts to setup the 40oz-drinking chumminess of Baking Soda, G.E.D., and Kreech but lags to a stagnant stall for hot second while still surround with the here-and-there gags, themed with G.E.D. homosexual tendencies and Baking Soda’s drug peddling woes on and off the streets, but once the antics pickup, there’s no stopping Martino and his filmic entourage from raining down an assault of insults. 

If you’re easily offended or put off by off-color race comedy, then Wild Eye Releasing’s “Race War:  The Remake” DVD is not for you!  For me, and those like me, unaffected by the type of uncouth spoof, Tom Martino’s debut is for you!  The Raw & Extreme sublabel’s DVD is MPEG2 encoded, 720p resolution, on a DVD5.  Presented in widescreen 1.78:1 aspect ratio, there is a breadth of visual presentation not confined within’ pillar and letterboxing but is stretched vertically that affects the already par level resolution.  Guerilla filmmaking also involves no production lighting and natural lighting is more than used here in Martino’s run around the Houston area, but one thing good about Martino’s naturally lit cinematography is its neutral set, avoiding under and overexposure.  The lesser used interiors have some tint lighting and key lighting to avoid total flat, dark outcomes but give the image a haze of hue, especially inside Baking Soda’s living room scene in the first act that sees a thin layer of red and green.  The English PCM Stereo has inconsistencies in volume.  Some scenes discern quieter than others because of the guerilla filmmaking constraints as well as just using commercial recording equipment.  However, the dialogue does land well enough for the jokes to hit and overlayed sound effects greatly lift the sound design where needed, such as with the Mortal Kombat video game sequence or with the array-spray of gunshots throughout and soundboard gag effects.  There are no subtitles with this release.  Included in the special features is Tom Martino director’s commentary, a gag/blooper reel, a behind-the-scenes reel of the gory moments, and Wild Eye Releasing trailers that include “Race War:  The Remake.”    The clear, ECO-Light Amaray DVD case houses stellar covert art illustration work by Belgium graphic artist, Stemo, with the inlaid narrative intensity and characters in collage.  The reverse side includes a gory still from one of the scenes.  The disc is pressed with the same front cover image but there are no other physical materials.  The unrated DVD runs for 95 minutes and is region free.

Last Rites:  Wild Eye Releasing re-unleashes another outrageous title on their Raw & Extreme label and the Tom Martino film is every ounce of the sentiment in it’s indie underground hokum of gore, racism, homosexuality, and aliens! 

Get Caught Up in the Middle of a “Race War: The Rmeake” on DVD

20-Years or More Incarcerated is No Match for Tenacious EVIL! “The Rapacious Jailbreaker” reviewed! (Radiance / Limited Edition Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Break From Your Cage With This New LE Blu-ray of “The Rapacious Jailbreaker”

Masayuki Ueda is nabbed after murdering a drug dealer’s girlfriend during a botched meeting.  Ueda faces a 20-year prison sentence for his crime but after being processed, nothing can change his mind nor his determination to escape.  Willing to sacrifice blood for freedom, Ueda escapes and visits his lover in Kobe for a quick conjugal stop and money only to be caught again when he returns, tacking on additional years to his sentence.  His next escape plan joins forces with two other inmates and, again, his route to freedom is cut short when a brothel visit, while laying low in his sister’s village, turns into a violent brawl with another patron and the authorities round him up in the aftermath, adding more years to his sentence.  While incarcerated, Ueda must kill rival gang bosses who threaten him.  By now, Ueda’s sentence is up to 40-years, and not to be defeated by the prospect of a long term sentence, Ueda has one more desperate attempt for freedom, putting his life on the line.

“The Rapacious Jailbreaker,” aka “Escaped Murderer from Hiroshima Prison” or “脱獄広島殺人囚,”is the crime black comedy from one of the Toei Company’s aggressively eclectic and paced directors Sadao Nakajima (“The Kyoto Connection,” “Female Ninja Magic”).  The prolific yakuza and exploitation filmmaker takes the Tatsuo Nogami (“Father of the Kamikaze”) script, centered on an incessant career criminal hellbent on not spending his days in prison, and runs with it, fashioning the smidgen stitchwork of a nonfictional individual into the post-War World II, American occupation of Japan and adds inner teetering and play-by-play thought narration and the always welcoming gallows humor amongst the exploits of a stubborn felon.  Gorô Kusakabe (“Hell,” “The Red Silk Gambler”) produces the production, which is part of an unofficial Sadao Nakajima trilogy along with “Shimane Prison Riot” and “The Man Who Shot the Don.

Hiroki Matsukata, a prolific yakuza actor from the 1960s to the 1980s with such credits as “Survivor of the Massacre,” “Dangerous Trade in Kobe,” and “Battles Without Honor and Chivalry,” breaks intermittently through the gang wars and boss-laden wall of tattooed violence and varying levels of respect that’s inked the individualized stories’ skin with “The Rapacious Jailbreaker” as the titular lead character under the character’s God-given name of Masayuki Ueda, a tenacious criminal personality type with yakuza-like transgressions of drug peddling and black market trade.  However, Ueda is not a criminal without honor, even if he’s a little rough around the edges, as his loyalties lie with those who are loyal to him: a fellow partner in crime he didn’t rat out, his suffering wife (Yōko Koizumi ), his sister Kazuko (Naoko Ohtani, “Apartment 1303”), and also those who help him escape, such as  Tatsuo Umemiya’s (“Spoils of the Night”) brazen law challenger Yuji.  Yuji and Ueda match well in traits, both eager to test and take risks going against a rather lax authority grain.  Aside from the opening montage of prison routines depicting minor torture from the guards, you don’t get the sense the prison guards have much domination or enough aggressiveness to match the kind of zeal the inmates have to either run a sneaky scheme or take them on toe-to-toe to get what they want, as we see with Yuji’s disgracing efforts against the warden in order to obtain rights that are quickly dismantled by the warden’s reneging, but at the cost of his humiliation.  Matsukata never wavers or deviates from Ueda’s singular drive, layering intensity overtop his thin film of civility with every additional time added to his sentence that eventually goes beyond four decades, but you can see it not only in Ueda’s resolute eyes but in Matsukata’s as well that nothing will stop him from escaping.  The film fills out with Hiroshi Nawa, Gorô Ibuki, Tatsuo Endô, Shigeru Kôyama, Hideo Murota, Harumi Sone, and Akira Shioji in various rolls of yakuza, fellow inmates, and those crossing Ueda’s path in the outside world.

Staying on the theme of Ueda’s loyalty, which is incredibly beyond reproach given his heinous crimes, there’s something to be said for his commitment to be free as a bird but also to the people who do right by him, no matter the circumstances. His wife pledges endless loyalty despite his flaws and felonies, his estranged sister welcomes him with food and shelter, and his opening criminal accomplice provides him a weapon before thanking him for not ratting when Ueda was apprehended by police. There’s an underlining code of respect and duty intertwining the utter most wicked and those blood relations in the field of collateral damage. Ueda’s responsibility for his actions never wanes, never deflects, and never becomes a weight of guilt as the only object, or maybe even obsession perhaps, on his mind is to escape prison and make quick, easy money. His loyalty does come at a fault when his trust reaches into the weeds, especially amongst those he’s already collided head-vs-head against, such as the former head of the black market beef butchers who turns on Ueda for false promises, but it’s in that one and only instance that everything becomes clear, much more to the audience than perhaps Ueda himself, is that in order to remain just out of arms’ length of the law, he must walk his path alone as depicted at the finale moments. The post-World War II American occupation time period has an interest facade to “The Rapacious Jailbreaker’s” context. In fact, the American presence is rarely present at all with Ueda feeling the squeeze mostly in-house within the Japanese penal system with the Americans only rearing their heads in obstacle of his escape attempts in a negative light: Ueda’s standoff against Japanese officers, who won’t shoot him surrounded by a crowd in fear and respect of bystanders, comes to a quick surrender when the Americans, who are perceived to shoot on sight no matter the circumstances arrive on the scene or when his fellow escapee tries attempts to befriend American forces in a military truck only to be runover and killed without remorse or even a slow down. These seemingly insignificant instances spoke volumes against the American occupation as a non-character in Ueda’s tale of total resistance that, one that either represents the American cold passive care of the Japanese under their rule or switch the ironfisted from Japan to America to favor a more lenient system of control.

Radiance Films’ transatlantic “The Rapacious Jailbreaker” lands in the U.S. for the first time on any format, and first on this particular format globally, with a new limited-edition, AVC encoded, 1080p high definition, 50-gigabyte Blu-ray. The dual layer allows for steady color timing and pristine picture quality image that’s leans into its attractively grained 35mm stock and presented in its original widescreen aspect ratio 2.35:1. The original print, transferred into HD from the Toei Company, is nearly faultless with only minor instances of vertical scratching around the theater scene in an otherwise near clean and clear element print. Nakajima’s lower contrast allows for softer coloring and the touch points on Radiance’s treatment showcase a more relaxed but harsh grayish blue with surrounding aspects from the prison’s hoary cement floors and walls to the prison’s steely cell bars and the prisoner’s blue attire. The uncompressed Japanese language PCM mono track offers clearcut dialogue and ambient markers with a clarity on both fronts that render an intelligible layered track without any compromising issue. Kenjirô Hirose (“The Last Dinosaur”) brings a 70’s cop-and-crime swanky score with undertones of traditional Japanese Hyōshigi, the striking of sticks to create that brief and stark crack sound. New translated English subtitles are available, pacing well and are error-free. Encoded special features include a visual essay by film critic Tom Mes and an audio commentary by yakuza film expert and Sadao Nakajima historian, Nathan Stuart. Radiance’s limited-edition set comes in a clear Amaray case with a reversible cover with original and new artwork, the latter commissioned by layout designer Filippo Di Battista (primary). Also included is an obi stirp with the release’s contents, technical specs, and film plot. Limited to 3000 copies, the release comes with a 23-page black and white booklet with stills, an essay Escape as Vocation by Earl Jackson, and a 1974 review by Masaharu. The 97 minute feature comes region A-B locked and unrated from the UK label.

Last Rites: “The Rapacious Jailbreaker” is hardboiled tough as nails while being a series of comedic follies that make this tenaciously titled story of one man’s pursuit of freedom a breakout hit.

Break From Your Cage With This New LE Blu-ray of “The Rapacious Jailbreaker”

This Toyish EVIL is Definitely Not a Toy! “The Monkey” reviewed! (Neon / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Own “The Monkey” on Blu-ray from Neon!

When twin brothers Hal and Bill, who personably couldn’t be more different, come across their deadbeat father’s windup toy grinding monkey amongst his left behind things, every time they wind up the monkey’s rat-tat-tat tune, at the last stroke someone close them dies a gruesome, horrible, seemingly accidental death.  As the deaths hit closer to home, such as the violent aneurism that takes their loving mother, the boys decide to toss the sinister toy into a deep well to stop it’s dooming of another soul.  The boys diverging personalities drive them apart and for many years they don’t speak until Bill calls Hal about the accidental death of their aunt.  A new string of death begins as the toy resurfaces to play its portentous tuneful rattling once again.  Hal, who’s now trying to connect with a son he’s kept at arm’s length in fear of the monkey’s return, must reunite with Bill to stop the carnage before it’s too late for them all.

Stephen King is so hot right now.  Hell, Stephen King has been hot for decades as one of the still living novelists to have numerous film and television series adaptations.  This year alone proves how influential and craved King’s work is amongst filmmakers and fans with “The Long Walk” and “The Running Man” feature films being released in the months to come.  There’s even the upcoming film rendition of “The Stand,” a novel that’s been adapted twice already set to receive a third account.   Since 1976 with his first adapted novel “Carrie,” King has been the king of having his work reimagined for visual scares and entertainment.  Earlier this year’s “The Monkey” is another example of the prolific author’s short story of the same title from his “Skeleton Crew” collection, coming to life on the big screen being helmed by one of the hottest new directors in modern horror, Osgood Perkins (“Longlegs”).  The horror-comedy is written and directed by Perkins in British Columbia, Canada and produced by “Saw’s” James Wan as well as Chris Ferguson, Dave Caplan, Brian Kavanaugh-Jones, and Marlaina Mah.  “The Monkey” is a company collaboration between Atomic Monster, The Safran Company, Oddfellows, Stars Collective, and C2 Motion Picture Corp. with Neon presenting theatrical distribution.

English actor Theo James is also no stranger to films adapted from literary works as The Divergent Series film star steps into “The Monkey’s” killing sphere by playing not one but two roles as the Hal and Bill Shelburn, twins with a tragic history that runs integrated with the windup, grinder monkey.  James caters to both personalities with mild-mannered energy that does transition exactly from the children counterparts (Christian Convery, “Cocaine Bear”) in the first half of the 30-year time span. Older Hal is joined by his son, lightheartedly named Petey, played by “Wonka’s” Colin O’Brien with the same deadpan deliveries as Theo James that greatly adds to their combined relationship and antagonism.  There’s plenty of self-deprecating and bullying upon Hal who, amongst the monkey’s supernatural selection-for-death drumming, is fashioned to be a loser but the narrator of the story in his slow burn rise to overcome the blood splattering challenges ahead, turning one-half of the twin duo into a lead principal and the feeble hero of the tale mostly setup by the character’s voiceover of the past and his action of the present.  In a rare showing amongst conventional character work, there is no love interest to note to either Hal or Bill other than possibly the Shelburn mother Lois in a doing in the best with what I got single mothering act by Tatiana Maslany (“Diary of the Dead” ).  Lois’s rough around the edges attitude is more shaved down by her airline pilot husband who left her and the boys and comes across as a guiding light for her twins on the rough, diverging path.  Once she’s removed from the picture, whatever threadbare connection between the twin boys had was severed that day, creating underlining turmoil and bloodshed decades later.  The cast fills in with Rohan Campbell (“Halloween Ends”) a teen obsessed with the monkey since his first encounter, Osgood Perkins as the blunt uncle, Sarah Levy as the unfortunate aunt, and a couple of powerhouse names with cameo appearances in Elijah Wood (“The Toxic Avenger”)  as Petey’s soon-to-be stepfather and Adam Scott (“Krampus”) as the Shelburn deadbeat dad.

Through the mysterious monkey business of randomized, accidental deaths is this dark theme of everybody dies and everybody dies at different times in various ways.  Through Theo James’s Hal narration and a few character jawing harps upon a zero set expiration date for people and really nails the head on the lack of preconceived set of parameters and time span of how long a person should be alive before they die, setting a concentrated focus on the way a person dies, as mentioned in Lois’s post funeral service monologue while holding her two boys that some die screaming in blood curdling agony and some parish peacefully without a blip of hoopla.  The grinding monkey toy (never call it a toy!) represents the sardonically absurd aspects and happenstances of death with its selective process and imminency; in essence, the grinder monkey is a materialized grim reaper.  Stephen King wrote “The Monkey” 45-years ago in 1980 but the film shares similarities to the modern-day horror of the “Final Destination” franchise that provides ominous premonitions precipitating subsequent deaths of those who weren’t supposed to survive a major mass causality event.  Yet, what the two entities possess is their love for the absurd, Mouse Trap ways those in the crosshairs come to end with “The Monkey” rivaling the exploding of gore, gruesomeness, and ferocity that’s made the “Final Destination” franchise rocket with cult fandom. 

Beyond bananas, “The Monkey” shines as an adept and agreeable anarchial Stephen King adaptation.  Neon brings the blood with a standard Blu-ray with an AVC encoded, 1080p high definition, BD25, presented in a widescreen 2:00:1 aspect ratio.  Technically, “The Monkey’s” a sound example of competent compression on a lower capacity format with no evident artefacts of any size.  “Witch Hunt’s” Nico Aguilar’s semi-dark gloss adds a sheen to the elements inside a middle-of-the-road contrast.  Coloring is diffused distinctively into the well-lit scene, providing separation and delineation amongst objects, while the lower lit, more obscure moments, are sprawled by a mellower shadow that is inky or just a void but a stylistic choice to create atmosphere rather than be a menacing presence or a gape of mystery.  The English DTS-HD 5.1 Master Audio equates much of the same caliber with a clean, clear, and robust dialogue layer with a step down for the ambience, accentuated by range and depth where necessary, and a soundtrack that’s not engrossingly ear-catching but is still full-bodied and present from Edo Van Breeman (“Afflicted”).  Also listed is a Descriptive Audio 2.0 Stereo and there are English and Spanish subtitles optionally available.  Encoded bonus features are a condensed cut of behind-the-scenes featurettes, including Becoming Hal and Billi with Theo James conversing about getting into the mindsets of two completely personalities of twin brothers, Funeral Gallery provides insight on the funeral programs for the multiple services of accident deaths, Outrageously Gory and Thoroughly Gratuitous takes a dive into the cartoon-like graphic violence full of blood – lots of blood and body parts, and The Cast of The Monkey rounds out with in-depth look at the cast playing the cast of eclectic characters.  An assortment of trailers is also in the mix with an included announcement teaser, teaser, and the full theatrical trailer.  Neon’s Blu-ray is standard fare with a conventional Blu-ray case from Viva Elite housed inside a delicate slipcover with a hard detailed look at the grinder toy monkey (again, don’t call it a toy!) in full smile and ready to rap his drum, the same image of stark red and black contrast that’s also on the front cover of the Blu-ray cover art.  The insert section does not contain any physical supplements nor are there any other physical supplements included.  Locked in a region A playback, Neon’s release has a runtime of 98 minutes and is rated R for strong bloody violent content, gore, language throughout, and some sexual references. 

Last Rites: Banging away as a harbinger of death, ‘The Monkey” drums up an honest day’s work as a solid Stephen King adaptation twisted by Oz Perkins’s black comedy and high-level gore only the filmmaker could devise.

Own “The Monkey” on Blu-ray from Neon!

A Parents’ Love Never Dies. It Just Becomes EVIL Against Threats! “The Sweet House of Horrors” reviewed! (Cauldron Films / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“The Sweet House of Horrors” on Blu-ray by Cauldron Films!

A house robbery gone wrong results in the brutal murder of twin siblings’, Marco and Sarah’s, parents Roberto and Mary Valdi when they stumble upon the masked thief, catching him in the act in their beautiful villa home.  The twins bawling at the funeral gives way to impish innocence as the children cope in jokes amongst each other and to their now legal guardians, Uncle Carlo and Aunt Marcia.  Looking to sell the now sullied house, Carlo and Marcia invite a pompous realtor to examine and price the home only to have strange occurrences begin a series of unexplained phenomena the children are certain to be their parent’s lingering and love presence to keep the house within the family.  The parental entities also seek revenge on their attacker whose has been close to the family for years.  As the spirits continue their course of playful and perturbed poltergeist toward their children and unwanted visitors, an unaware Carlo and Marcia hire an exorcist to rid the house of what they suspect to be an evil spirit. 

The third made-for-TV film in the Massimo Manasse and Marco Grillo Spina doomed The Houses of Doom series, in which none of the films aired due to their too gruesome violence, “The Sweet House of Horrors” is the second Lucio Fulci production under the defunct 1989 series, coinciding with “The House of Clocks.”  Just like that film, Fulci also invented the concept of murdered parents being guardian angels over their children while thwarting murderers, realtors, and exorcists from taking what they hold most precious, their children and their home.  The shooting script comes from “Devil Fish” and “Phantom of Death” duo Vincenzo Mannino and Gigliola Battaglini.  The fantasy-ghost house horror is another production of Reteitalia and Dania Film and filmed in peaceful Italian municipal of Ponte Pattoli.

“The Sweet House of Horrors” has an alternating appointed cast of main characters that turns focus between the children, Marco (Giuliano Gensini, “The Fishmen and Their Queen”) and Sarah (Ilary Blasi), the inheriting guardians of Carlo (Jean-Christophe Brétignière, “Rats:  Night of Terror”) and Marcia (Cinzia Monreale, “The Beyond”), and the dead parents turned ambivalent malicious poltergeists with Mary (Lubka Lenzi, “Massacre”) and Roberto (Pascal Persiano “Demons 2”) Valdi.  Giuliano Gensini and Ilary Blasi are well matched bratty children with mischievous dispositions who let their parents setoff hurricane force winds in the house and unleash topsy-turvy fog to combat the selling of the house and the unwanted removal of the children by the new guardians.   The children are also the only ones who know what’s actually going on while Carlo and Marcia chalk it up to either Marcia overactive imagination or, eventually, boiling the explanation down to malevolent ghosts unaware that it’s actually the deceased Mary and Roberto being impish apparitions.  This allows to comical characters to enter the fold in an overweight and pompous realtor lovingly nicknamed Sausage (Franco Diogene, “A Policewoman on a Porno Squad”) and gravely natured exorcist (Vernon Dobtcheff, “Horsehead”) to give levity and breeziness for a television market to a point where it feels almost a like a kids movie, but then we get to Guido (Lino Salemme, “Demons”) whose a guilt-ridden soul is splashed with past transgressions and the blood of his victims that haunt him from beyond the grave, literally, and in these flashes of Lucio Fulci’s ferocity for a visceral showing of range that definitely turns what could very well be a family friendly film into a smaller scale fright and violent feature.  Dante Fioretti (“The Wild Team”) rounds out the cast as the graveside servicing Father O’Toole who is the butt of the joke from not only the children but also the audience as a priest overbooked in his ceremonial duties. 

Finally – we’ve always suspected in The Houses of Doom installments a good old fashion haunting would make an inevitable appearance, but this particular Godfather of Gore entry is no ordinary ghost house narrative.  As read above, “The Sweet House of Horrors” has plenty of light-hearted comedy and fantastical elements to make a great televised production with dancing and floating candle flames, slapstick punching bags with the Sausage character, and two children who laugh and belittle at those in the path of the spirit-induced misfortune, spirits who are just loving parents taken too soon from their children and want to protect them at all cost.  As these scenes playout, feeling breezy, light, and full of supernatural fantasy, one hardcore horror fan could potentially forget their tuned into a Lucio Fulci film if it wasn’t for the opening double murder of the parents, the subsequent revenge killing of the murderer, and the shocking last frames of a hand melting away to the bone.  Granulized bits of body injury and stark severity and gruesomeness slingshot audiences out of the kiddie dreamland into the grisly nightmare of Fulci’s eye for details.  Hair and blood matted together, run over and eviscerated by a large truck, and, of course, “The Sweet House of Horrors” wouldn’t be a Fulci film without a gruesome dislodged eyeball from the socket.  There’s nothing quite like this House of Doom picture, or even in the generalization of haunted house tropes, as “The Sweet House of Horrors” splinters a fractured tale of holding onto dear life a happy nuclear family with the external forces that try to violently rip them apart.  

Cauldron Films proudly presents an uncut and restored Blu-ray release, scanned in 2K from the film negative and encoded onto AVC BD50 with 1080p, high-definition resolution.  The 1989 Fulci film now looks remarkably crisp in its European widescreen 1.66:1 aspect ratio.  A counterargument against the defined image could be the color timing that does have a bit of a wash layer overtop, reducing hues down to a pause in the image pop.  The reserved grading primarily hits the internal scenes, perhaps a result of the transparent animation layer for dancing candle flames, the ethereally delineated parents, or the blue orb/blob that circles the kids, but there are live shot instances that too are stifled to radiate better.  Textures are definitely not washed away as we receive an in-depth look at the wardrobe design that distinctly set characters apart, such as Sausage’s prim-and-proper suit, Guido’s paint-speckled denim overalls, and the Exorcist’s dark cloak getup, courtesy competent compression.  The ADR English and Italian 2.0 mono tracks offer a more than adequate A-to-Z dialogue with instances of crackling, more so the beginning.  The hit tracks and other targeted ambient sounds land with depth and range incorporated into the action with the character.  As with a mono track, distinction can be lost but with many Cauldron releases, there’s a pseudo-tier balancing of separating sounds through the 2.0 channels.  English subtitles are available on both releases and are well transcribed with excellent pacing.  Special features includes new Cauldron Films’ produced content, such as interviews with actress Cinzia Monreale Sweet Muse of Horrors in Italian with Englis subtitles, production designer Massimo Antonello Fulci House of Horrors in Italian with English subtitles, editor Alberto Moriani Editing for the Masters in Italian with English subtitles, and an audio commentary track with film historian regulars Eugenio Ercolani and Troy Howarth.  The release also includes archival interviews previously seen on Mediablasters DVD release with interviews from actors Cinzia Monreale, Jean-Christophe Brétigniere, Pascal Persiano, Lino Salemme, and screenplay writer Gigliola Battaglini, all of which are either in Italian or English with English subtitles on the Italian interviews.  Matthew Therrien and Eric Lee provide, yet again, another compositional illustration of the more harrowing sides of “The Sweet House of Horrors” and its logo design inside a clear Scanova Blu-ray case.  The reverse cover also pulls a fiery still from the story.  There are no additional supplements inside or out with a cropped pressed image of the front cover on the disc that has a runtime 83-minutes and has region free playback.

Last Rites: “The Sweet House of Horrors” is a paradoxical made-for-TV special that never saw the light of public broadcast day but lands safely in the distributive hands of Cauldron Films with a new Blu-ray, Hi-Def release too good to pass up.

“The Sweet House of Horrors” on Blu-ray by Cauldron Films!