Category Archives: fantasy

A Talking Black Lab with EVIL Red Eyes Target Children. “Where the Dead Go to Die” reviewed! (Mountain Oddities Home Video / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Where the Dead Go To Die” Now Lives on Blu-ray!

The first story in a disturbing 3-part omnibus tale concerns a little boy named Tommy.  Constantly at each other’s throats, Tommy’s troubled  parents don’t burden him down in their mini bickering wars and abusive verbal tirades where he becomes the passive aggressive fodder for each of them to shell the other with, but when Labby, a talking, red-eye dog proclaiming to be a messenger of God’s word, tells Tommy to kill unborn brother because he’s the antichrist, Tommy’s world is turned upside down when Labby murders both parents and the unborn child in the name of God.  In another story, a man steals liquid memories by killing people and extracting an intoxicating substance from their memory glands to inject them into his own body.  One particular liquid memory of a dying prostitute sends him through a warped nightmare of the underworld, one where he may never return to normal.  The last story focuses on a mask-wearing deformed boy named Ralphie, whose Siamese twin brother’s face protrudes out of the side of his face, and his infatuation with schoolmate and neighbor Sophia.  When trying to impress Sophia by relating to her father, Ralphie learns the father records VHS tapes of Sophia being molested by older men and is coerced to partake in an act Sophia is an unwilling participant.  At the behest of Labby, what Ralphie does next will put a fatal stop to the madness that surrounds him and his soulmate crush. 

In the same clunky spirit of crude early 1990’s computer generated imagery or in the early days of the original Playstation graphics, Jimmy ScreamerClauz’s “Where the Dead Go to Die” fully embraces the ungainly graphics in a 3D world of unimaginable horror where kids and demons intersect with wretched results.  The 2012 omnibus reflects three short narratives from ScreamerClauz and combined into one seriously screwed up tale, orchestrated by deal brokered wit Unearthed Films’s Stephen Biro who was sent two of ScreamerClauz’s short films – “Tainted Milk” and “Liquid Memories” – and challenged, or maybe even championed, ScreamerClauz for a third to build toward, and the eventual release of, a feature length product.  With the challenge accepted, the full-time musician and 3D animation artist succeeded with an unforgettable story that’s pure evil at heart and a surreal kaleidoscope of ghastly phantasmagoria.  ScreamerClauz not only writes, directs, and composes the film he also produces under the Draconian Films and Chainsaw Kiss production companies.  

As it has been already established Jimmy ScreamerClauz wears many hats in his production, we can add another with his voice acting of the demonic, fireball-eyed dog, Labby and along with the director’s voiceover participation, other genre actors and filmmakers are casted to voice one, or possibly more than one, of the crudely animated, disturbingly souled characters.  “Subject 87” director, “Reality Bleed-Through” actor Brandon Slagle tackles a double voiceover with the memory addicted man as well as Sophia’s sleazy abusive father.  As Sophia, the once upon a time softcore horror actress Ruby Larocca (“Witchbabe:  The Erotic Witch Project 3,” “Dr. Jekyll & Mistress Hyde”) has real innocent palpability up against Slagle’s aggressively toned, VHS-recording, and peeping perve that is her in character daddy.  Larocca also voices the mysterious advice-giver with the Lady in the Well and as the dying Hooker in the arms of the serial killer-for-liquid memories Man.  Another multi-voice player in the film and who also had a stint in the sex and violence category is Joey Smack with a string of strangler themed films (“Vampire Strangler,” “The Masked Strangler,” “The Bizarre Case of the Electric Cord Strangler, etc.,”).  Smack extends himself into a child and parent performance as the deformed Ralphie in “The Masks That the Monsters Wears” and Tommy’s dad in “Tainted Milk” that gives provides range albeit the quintessential grown man mimicking a child’s voice unmistakableness in the cracking high voice.  Much like Larocca, there’s something pleasant in seeing names like Linnea Quigley (“Return of the Living Dead,” “Night of the Demons”) and Devanny Pinn (“Nude Nuns with Big Guns,” “Bloodstruck”) be credited to voice because that takes the focus on their physical appearances and gives them a chance to actually be seen, or rather heard, with their dialogue performance.  In this instance, Quigley and Pinn embody the rancid maternity of Sophia and Ralphies’ mothers respectively.  “Where the Dead Go to Die” rounds out the cast with more B-movie actors in Trent Haaga (“Terror Firmer,” “Killjoy 2:  Deliverance from Evil”) as Ralph’s ashamed dad as well as Carlos Bonilla, Victor Bonacore, and Joshua Michael Greene. 

How a filmmaker chooses and utilizes his brand of CGI landscape is how that filmmaker’s film should be judged in the gelling of those areas, in my opinion.  “Where the Dead Go to Die’s” crude 3D animation is the intended result from Jimmy ScreamerClauz’s choice in conveying his short story narrative, but that intention won’t stop audiences and critics from browbeating and disparaging the film.  Yet, if accepting the former viewpoint and watch with understanding eyes through that recognition lens, “Where the Dead Go to Die” is one messed up and horrifying dystopia accentuated by the animation that gives each chapter more weight toward wretchedness and wrongdoing, gelling with tremendous intent to scramble the proverbial innocence with demonic forces and human perversions.  Some of the ideas and concepts swirling around ScreamerClauz’s head and make it into the three tales were just images he thought were visually neat but that speaks loudly on the dark mindset of creativity and many of those images are now temporally seared, scarred permanently into our long-term memory lobes.  Granted, tale transitions and recycling back to their sole connection with each other route into choppy territory at best, creating a windy, bumpy road in braiding the three chapters together under a single umbrella of animation style and storytelling, but “Where the Dead Go to Die” is a poignant and throbbing like touching a raw, exposed nerve through gouged muscle and tissue.  Every inch of surreal, sawtooth imagery is like a knife twisted into our virtuous side because upon closer look at Jimmy ScreamerClauz’s story containing children being hurt is only separated by the mere stylistic choice of cinematography. 

Out from the distribution shadows of Unearthed Films and in the hands of adult animation distributor Mountain Oddities Home Video, also in partnership with MVDVisual, for a new Blu-ray release, one we haven’t seen since Unearthed Films released the DVD and Blu-ray in 2012.  The first of two initial releases from Mountain Oddities Home Video, the Blu-ray comes AVC encoded, 1080p high-definition release, on a BD50 packed with extras.  Being mostly rudimentary 3D animation installed into a complexity of kaleidoscopic imagery, critiquing the quality is beyond our control but the compression is amply successful with no artefacts to note and the colorful saturation and grading levels provide an enriched, amalgamated dough of diabolic devil-bread, presented in a 1.78:1 widescreen aspect ratio that’s more compromised to its now out of print Unearthed Films counterpart from more than decade earlier.  Two English audio options are available:  a DTS-HD 5.1 surround sound and a DTS-HD 2.0.  At home audio recordings outside the sound barrier studio boxes are not as refined, capturing mic interference and hissing as well as the differences in varying audio volumes that don’t match between interacting characters in the same scene, creating that unshared space and gap.  Dialogue is unimpeded and clear and ScreamerClauz’s original gloomy-looming score fuels the deep morosity and malevolent themes.  English subtitles are option available.  Extras include a director’s commentary track with Jimmy ScreamerClauz, deleted scenes, an online video-conference interview with ScreamerClauz hosted by Quality Violent Cinema, behind-the-scenes featurettes of snipped dialogue recordings and interviews, including Linnea Quigley, Youtuber Diamanda Hagan’s video review of ScreamerClauz’s animated shorts “The Scuzzies,” and the director’s short film catalogue with “The Scuzzies” (that includes commentary), “Labby vs Mr. Pickles Rap Battle,” “Clinical Sodomy,” “Affection,” “Mutwa,” “Reality Bleed-Through Remix.”   Mountain Oddities Home Video’s Not Rated release is listed as the uncut version with a 95-minute runtime available with region free playback. 

Last Rites: An adult animation pushing the envelope with taboo themes involving kids and when you mess with kids, the public taste goes sour, but “Where the Dead Go to Die” swirls surrealism with poignant acting and strange fever dreaming amongst the basic, albeit creepy, animation.

“Where the Dead Go To Die” Now Lives on Blu-ray!

EVIL Would Be to Not Experience the Sensual Side of Japan’s Gravure Idols! “J-Girl Yummy: Ryo Harusaki, Ai Haneda, and Aoi Kururugi” reviewed!

Posted by Steven Lewis on

You can order your #Blu-ray and #DVD copies at PinkEiga.com or stream it JGirlYummy.com!

Japanese adult models and actresses Ryo Harusaki, Ai Haneda, and Aoi Kururugi tease with their youthful appearance, hot slender bodies, and alluring moves in a new gravure series as they wear next-to-nothing while starring directly back at you, into your gazing eyes, playfully and erotically enticing you to join them.  As you mentally undress their young bodies, the J-Girls take you on a suggestive journey from the wave-crashing and sandy beach to the idyllic glistening of the pool, from the hot and sweaty exercise room to the cool and wet shower, and then, eventually, to the private bedroom where visual foreplay becomes the ultimate fantasy with your favorite and most seductive J-Girl.  A cat teaser wand, an exercise ball, skimpy lingerie, miniskirts, lotion, and a glass pleasure toy are objects to be desired, creating sensual tension and excitement with erotic tones that tease against the senses, and when the time comes, your joy becomes JOI as the J-Girl finish you off with unforgettable point of view pleasure. 

The J-Girl Yummy label, Gravure Glamour Models, is the responsible party in delivering the one-on-one carnal gravures starring the now 25-year-old, former AV actress Ryo Harusaki (“Ryo Harusaki’s Finest Devirginizing 21,” “Nothing But Tits No. 022”), now 35-year-old AV actress and Tokyo model Ai Haneda (“Slave Room – Lady Who Was Put Up for Auction,” “Teacher Ai’s Alluring Lesson”), and the now 27-year-old the Kyoto prefecture AV actress Aoi Kururugi (“Hot Pantyhose,” “Young Lady with the Special Power of Pussy”), produced and released first in Japan and now available to North American audiences for the first time.  The Pink Eiga sublabel releases the first trio set this August in hopes to find a sympathetically aroused audience for the popular Japanese gravure videos, also known as tease or bikini videos, but with a fleshier and lustful appeal than normal gravures.  These pink films have no directors, writers, or producers within their economically efficient adult release design.

Each release individually caters to each of the three models’ physical and personality attributes in the August release set, beginning with Ryo Harusaki from the Ibaraki Prefecture.  Perhaps the curviest model of the trio, Harusaki has a plumpier backside that delineates closely to an hourglass shape albeit her B cup leaving a slightly asymmetrical shape.  No one person will complain about her curvy hips leading into her rear when bending over in a tight-fitting thong barely containing the peach that’s strategically hidden away or when Harasaki moves her hand to complete a half-moon arc over her cheeks in order to fully lather herself in lotion.   A bob haircut accentuates Harusaki’s round face and large eyes, creating a fixation onto her natural structural beauty.  Aoi Kururugi has contrasting traits as the Kyoto pornographic actress, once named Candy in her industry debut, enchants her regular girl next door physique with a giggly, cutesy persona that’s innate in the model.  Comfortable with a dazzling smile, Kururgi’s emulates, or perhaps even embodies, the Japanese kawaii culture of cuteness evoking a kittenish coy and playfulness.  Last, but definitely not the least in the brand new to the North American market J-Girl Yummy series, is Ai Haneda, the oldest of the three at the ripe age of her early-to-mid 30s at time of filming.  Haneda may be nearly a decade older than Harasaki and Kururugi but she’s certainly the slanderously petite and perky gravure model of the set while still retaining youthful beauty with milky smooth skin and innocent face.  Though not as plump around key private parts, Haneda works the camera like a blend of Harasaki’s smoldering stares and Kururugi’s kittenish play as she saunters and works the camera in getaway locations wearing only very little or nothing at all. 

After watching all three episodes consecutively, the J-Girl Yummy gravure model has been consistent with the narrative-free formula between all three, immediately kicking off each entry with a brief tease of what’s to come in a montage of spliced together scenes as a precursing trailer of what to expect in the next 60-90 minutes from the J-Girl model whose about to show you a good time.  What follows is a pair of music-only scored segments with our models in bikinis or other revealing clothes, such as hiked up miniskirts for an upskirt shot as they shyly try to futilely pull down the edges to cover panties from view.  Repetitive stock music of hypnotic drumbeats, dulcet guitars, generic smooth jazz, and breezy elevator music backfill while the girls twirl their tease-filled tapestries to eventually unveil the bare necessities underneath their clothes.  Eventually, this transitions into an intimate atmosphere with your personal J-Girl as you can now hear their voices for the very first time, peering, smiling, and speaking into the camera as if what was missing component of a VR date is you and you’re now there.  These segments are where personalities emerge and the real personal interactive and peepshows begin with an increasingly stimulation toward a point-of-view sex act thrusting against their pelvises.  There are subtle differences between the three episodes.  For instance, Haneda and Kururugi play with themselves more, with a rather odd self-poking of their nipples, as if cavewomen exploring their bodies for the first time, and pulling at the individual pubic hairs that tease the lower nether region.  Harasaki has a more stoic stature in her breadth of sexual aura and that makes her dangerous to behold, holding your breath as she stares into your soul.  Harusaki also doesn’t quite do the POV sex finale, focusing heavily on self-satisfactory measures for the voyeur at heart, and letting her voluptuous body alone do the work. 

PinkEiga and J-Girl Yummy introduce Ryo Harusaki, Ai Haneda, and Aoi Kururugi in the first set of three of a soon to be released total of 15 models all together in the J-Girl Yummy gravure series. See them undress in a high-definition resolution with an AVC encoded, 1080p, 25 gigabyte BD-R, presented in a 1.78:1 widescreen aspect ratio. Without any indication of the specific camera equipment used, the only aspect that’s clear is its digital component that offers a clean picture with immersive detail that exposes unique dermis areas for each model, such as the circular scar above Haneda’s naval of a removed bellybutton ring, Kururugi’s two-toned blemishes below her left breast and waist, or even Harusaki’s canine imperfection. Much of the digital footage is raw, untouched, resulting in a ton of overexposure from sunlit scenes on the beach, by the pool, and near a brightly illuminated window. For a BD-R, compression has stability as there’s not a saturating amount of bonus materials or an extensive color palette with manipulated contrast levels as the goal is to shoot the load for realism. The releases don’t reveal much about the audio aspects but we’re likely looking at, or rather hearing, the innately uncompressed Japanese PCM 2.0 from the onboard camera of the digital handheld camcorder, evident by the cardioid depth range limited by the mic scope. Mostly garnished by garish stock music, the models’ vocals do express little dialogued moments with grunt and groan interjections while playing with themselves or, sometimes, being influenced by the camera operator’s teasing efforts to induce smiles and arousing moans. Again, the compression works well here with no distortion or interference in what’s chiefly the issue, but insignificantly detrimental, is the weak audio expansion and, be forewarned, there are no English subtitles or optional subtitles of any language for the feature. There are subtitles for each model’s post-gravure exhibition Get To Know Me interview that has the interviewer’s question laid out in vertical Hiragana subtitles right of the screen while English subtitles are below. The interview questions range from common background information about the model’s themselves to the dirty little secrets that turn them on, such as masturbating, their frequency and favorite toys, and their overall conceptions toward sex in general. Additionally in the bonus features, which are all encoded alongside the play feature and backdropped by a naked still of the model, is the model’s trailer, a sneak peek bonus scene of an upcoming J-Girl Yummy gravure model, and a still slideshow. Ai Haneda’s release comes with an extra bonus feature of raw behind-the-scenes footage of the video shoot. The physical attributes of the Blu-ray releases also follow a design formula with a rainbow background with the half-naked model centerstage along with their given or stage name in black banner and cartoon-like clouds nestling them at the bottom as if their angels from heaven. Inside, the BD-R is pressed with the same front cover image, but the insert comes with bare-chested collectible card! All three releases are not rated, have region A encoding, and have a runtime of 86 minutes (Ryo), 60 minutes (Ai), and 62 minutes (Aoi).

Last Rites: J-Girl Yummy is so much more than pink vignette videos of pretty faces. The series is personal one-on-one time with your favorite Japanese starlet, a sensual journey of acquaintance, and there’s value in gravure eroticism from the land the rising sun, bringing new beginnings and new hope in a stiff adult media market.

You can order your #Blu-ray and #DVD copies at PinkEiga.com or stream it JGirlYummy.com!

Put a Quarter in the Slot to Play EVIL’s Game! “Arcade” reviewed! (Full Moon / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Insert Coin for “Arcade” on Blu-ray!

Arcade, the future of advanced, virtual reality-based video games, piques the interest of a group of teenagers eager to beta test the system in an underground arcade.  Vertigo, who engineered and programmed the game, sends the project manager to also hand out at-home editions of the game for continued testing.  When Arcade sucks in Alex’s boyfriend, Greg, into the game, she pleads to video game aficionado and good friend Nick about the game’s sentient dangers.  Nick experiences firsthand the horrors as their friend Laurie becomes entranced by its manipulative power and disappears during Arcade’s reach into reality.  Alex and Nick must venture into Arcade’s world to save Greg and their friends from a malicious machine seeking to invade and takeover the world, but they must find the hidden keys in all seven stages to reach Arcade’s soul and that’s no easy task when the game becomes very real when dying in the game will not grant respawn in the game or reality.

A movie ahead of its time but not ahead of the game, the Full Moon production “Arcade” is a live-action in a CGI-world thriller that’s one part “Tron” and one part “Virtuosity” for independent cinema, directed by the cybernetic and dystopian familiar filmmaker Albert Pyun (“Nemesis,” “Cyborg”).  Charles Band, founder of Full Moon and of a number of low-budget hit franchises, such as “Puppet Master” and “Demonic Toys,” light bulbs “Arcade’s” concept while David S. Goyer, the same David S. Goyer behind “Dark City,” “The Dark Knight,” and the 2022 “Hellraiser,” penned the script, marking the second collaborative production between Pyun and Goyer (“Kickboxer II”) as well as between Band and Goyer (“Demonic Toys”).  Band serves as executive producer alongside Michael Catalano and is show running produced by Cathy Gesualdo, all of whom were involved in the back-to-back productions with Albert Pyun with “Arcade” and “Dollman.”

Early Full Moon films always had an interest cast mix of known and unknown actors and “Arcade” is no exception with the tragically inclined Alex, a teen with nightmares about her mother’s year ago gruesome suicide and her father’s inability to cope since, played by an early 90’s recognizable beauty and then Full Moon regular Megan Ward (“Crash and Burn,” “Trancers II,”), coming off her success costarring alongside Brendan Fraser, Polly Shore, and Sean Astin as the love interest in “Encino Man.”  Ward role isn’t a damsel in distress one as Alex isn’t afraid to take and dive into a game of certain death to be the lone riser up against all odds.  An interesting piece of casting is Peter Billingsley, a name and face that might be familiar as Ralphie from Bob Clark’s “The Christmas Story.”  Instead of pining over a Red Ryder BB Gun that will undoubtedly shoot his eye out, Billingsley embodies the serious gamer amongst his group of friends who pines for the next level of gaming but also pines secretly for Alex, a subplot that’s not explored as well as it was technically setup.  The lone survivors of Arcade’s acute takeover embark into virtual reality to save the rest of their friends, under the cast of Bryan Dattilo as boyfriend Greg, Brandon Rane, A.J. Langer (“The People Under the Stairs”), and Seth Green (“Idle Hands”) in his early years, all of whom either disappear at moment’s notice of the game’s turn to complete evil or have a moment to stand out with dialogue or a pyshical scene.  John de Lancie’s role is small in comparison to his costars but the Q actor for “Star Trek:  The Next Generation” and “Picard” has the gift to protrude positively amongst the cast with Lancie’s quick-wit and timed deliveries as the Vertigo gaming production representative Difford unaware of the game’s conscious, dark design.   Norbert Weisser (“The Thing”), Don Stark (“Evilspeak”), Sharon Farrell (“Night of the Comet), and the voice of Jonathan Fuller (“The Pit and the Pendulum”) as Arcade’s voice round out the film’s amazingly cult chic cast.

In terms of computer-generated graphics of the early 1990s just eking out of the last decade, “Arcade’s” virtual world is of a clunky, chunky enterprise that epitomizes the era’s current technology.  One could argue “Tron” had that same boxiness only forgiven by its award-winning cast.  “Arcade” may not have an accolade-laden cast but the Band and Pyun production does, too, receive a pass for its eclectic and curious cast of well-rounded and peculiar-implanted actors and actresses, and also crew, that gives “Arcade” not only a reason to subdue the heavily-contrasted and bulky CGI but also rises it up to be larger than life, more than perhaps it deserved to be in regard to the story’s influences.  However, this poor man’s version still has a gimmick coating and the third act editing is atrociously choppy to a point where nowhere could possibly know what’s going on as Alex flies through the seven-level pyramid, easily unearthing the hidden keys, and ending in the summit of Arcade’s human brain wave laced soul.  Pieces of the reel were left on the cutting room floor, pieces that would have depicted more rigorous opposition to thwart Alex’s climb in the levels and would explains a whole lot more why she appears bangs up by the end.  Albert Pyun resurfaces some of his best directional work to create unsettling moments of possession or of being unhinged as well as using smoke to diffuse the primary hue vibrance starkly contrasted against the computerized gaming world.

Newly remastered in high-definition with touched up color and detail refinement, “Arcade” now has a new Blu-ray release from the Full Moon Feature catalogue.  Compounding and restoring various elements, the Full Moon team pulls together the best pieces for the best, up-to-date version available encoded on a MPEG-2 AVC, 1080p, BD25 disc.  Honestly, a BD50 would have been better suited for the compression as “Arcade” runs the gamut of effects, coloring, and dark scenes in which, those scenes outside of virtual reality, aka green screen, Albert Pyun’s infuses smoke for the underground arcade to diffuse the colors, spreading them amongst the crowd and the room to create that dive bar atmosphere.  However, there’s a bit of artificial banding surrounding the natural banding that delineates the colors within the darkness.  Details are also impossible to gauge with the choice styles of hazy and CGI but there are moments of clarity that gives “Arcade” a clean bill of image health around the skin textures. “Arcade” must have been made from televisions as the label remasters the ’93 feature inside it’s full screen 4:3 aspect ratio. Full Moon offers two audio formats: an English PCM 5.1 surround sound and a Stereo 2.0. Dialogue has clear projection without any damage or interference for an independent, 30+ year old film from the early 90’s, but the track isn’t as hardy as desired, especially in the multi-channel that doesn’t diffuse anemically through the side and back channels. Separation also can’t decipher between reality and virtual reality with the layers melding together on a level playing field. Range decently plays a wide berth of tonal shades in computerized, “Tron”-like synth-cycling and in-game explosions and distortions. There are no English subtitles available. Special features include an audio commentary with Full Moon found and producer Charles Band and Alex star Megan Ward in a good one-on-one conversational piece about the past production and a little insight rom Ward’s thoughts and Band’s history as a child to a movie mogul but there’s also a lot of Band flirting with Megan Ward. There’s an archival interview with John De Lancie, a rare VFX reel that extends a few scenes plus displays the scrapped original CGI, the typical accompanying Videozone marketing of Full Moon’s streaming catalogue, other Full Moon trailers, and the original film trailer. Inside the blue Amaray case, the cover art features the original VHS composition artwork and a disc concentratedly pressed with one version of “Arcade’s” virtual villains. The region free release is rated R and has a runtime of 101 minutes.

Last Rites: “Arcade” respawns in a newly remastered high-definition transfer that’s greatly cleaned up the flecked rough patches in front of the computer-generated engine but doesn’t smooth out the rocky terrain of the last act that suffers erratic editing for quick pinch pacing instead of really fleshing out the story flow.

Insert Coin for “Arcade” on Blu-ray!

Mesozoic Era EVIL and the Cavegirl Beauties! “Dinosaur Valley Girls” reviewed! (Visual Vengeance / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Dinosaur Valley Girls” Visual Vengeance Collector’s Set Available Here!

Action movie superstar Tony Markham’s relationships exploit him of his actor status as women will only surround him for even just a bit part in one of his films.  Tony continues to have reoccurring dreams of a prehistoric place where a beautiful cavewoman allures him with mysterious passion.  Unable to get the images out of his head, he visit’s a natural history museum that conjures familiarities within the dinosaur bones and cave drawings that look awfully similar to the cavewoman of his dreams.  When he wishes upon a supposed magically talisman, Tony is transported to prehistoric past where he encounters dangerous dinosaurs, brutish cavemen, and bosomy cavewomen looking for love, even Hea-Thor, the one from his nightly visions.  As Tony tries to figure out a way to return home, he finds Hea-Thor has become infatuated with the man from the future for not his movie stardom and seeks to reestablish relationships between the men and women tribes after years of loveless contention.

A time-travelling, dino-tastic romp with also a whole lot of rumps, “Dinosaur Valley Girls” is the voluptuous, velociraptor sex-comedy of the mid-1990s during the post-Jurassic Park Dinosaur craze.  Filmmaker and paleontology enthusiast Donald F. Glut combined his love for making practical movies and the inscrutable dinosaur biota together into one hairbrained comedy “Dinosaur Valley Girls.”   Glut, who established himself as a short film and television writer, especially in animation, had worked on “Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends,” “The Transformers, and even “Scooby-Doo” and “Captain America,” and then, after his feature length debut on “Dinosaur Valley Girls,” continued on to write and direct more sexploitation features, such as “The Erotic Rites of Countess Dracula” and “The Mummy’s Kiss.”  Film in mostly in the Bronson Canyon and Dinosaur Valley State Park of California and Texas, “Dinosaur Valley Girls” is produced by Kevin M. Glover (“Sisterhood of the Shewolf”) and is a production of the Donald F. Glut, Kevin M. Glover, and Executive Producer Daniel J. Mullen cohort company Glut Mullen Productions in association with Frontline Entertainment for distribution rights.

Jeff Rector, who has a classic look circa 50s or 60s in style and mannerisms, principally leads as Tony Markham, the hot flavor of the month actor within a franchise of martial arts films and is in the weeds of women yearning to be with him only in hope for a small role in one of his hit movies.  The “Hellmaster” and “Legion of the Night” actor hams up the humble, good-lookin’ good guy act with smooth as butter suaveness and silky speech that drives his dream cavegirl Hea-Thor up a Brachiosaurus neck.  Actress turned television and column journalist Denise Ames rocked out with her chest out for nearly all her filmic career before going into the celebrity news reporting profession with securing her only principal lead in Hea-Thor to head Glut’s “Dinosaur Valley Girls,” a gaggle of fed-up cavewomen who have separated from their male counterparts because of their abusive, brutish behavior.  Denise Ames (“Danger Zone III:  Steel Horse War,” “Slash Dance”) was typically typecasted as the sexy girl and as Hea-Thor, the role is no different with a big hair-don’t care, easy-on-the-eyes early woman whose half nude or topless for much of her scnees.  Glut’s comical pen plays as much into the satirist spirit as it does into the gratuitousness of a rather harmless sexploitation.  For instance, all the cavegirls have that play on stereotypical valley names like Hea-Thor with Bran-Dee (Staci B. Flood), Tor-Ree (S.G Ellison), Bar-Bee (Caree), Tam-Mee (Tammy Lee Jackson), Mee-Shell (Donna Spangler), Bam-Bee (Lauryn Vea), and Buf-Fee (Michelle Stanger).  There’s also Ro-Kell, played by the late cult actress Karen Black  (“Trilogy of Terror,” “House of a 1000 Corpses”), trying to keep her girls safe from a longing Ur-So, played by Ed Fury in a name homage role to his days playing the titular hero Ursus.  Black and Fury are fine apart but together they’re like two playful puppies enjoying each other company and making their characters be the catalyst for change Tony strives for amongst the long feuding cave people.  In the casting mix, Harrison Ray plays Beeg-Mak, leader of the semi-food monikered cavemen, the late “Blacula” actor William Marshall as a museum scientist, and softcore actress Griffin Drew (“Sex Files,” “The Blair Wench Project 2:  Scared Topless”) showing off her breast assets as Tony’s hand-and-foot, yet superficial, girlfriend.

“Dinosaur Valley Girls’ is not rocket science but it is science-fiction at its genre core with an ancient magical talisman transporting Tony to a bosomy, featherheaded, primordial time where stop motion and forced perspective dinosaurs roamed and the people population live simply in what is considered a primal culture that’s more creature than comfort.  You can see the fun Glut instills into the writing and the filming with little-to-no serious peril thrusted upon the characters in either facing off in a gender war or going toe-to-toe with an allosaurus.  Instead, Glut focuses more effort into the sexy and lighthearted campiness by theme of running gags and a love story plotline between a man and a woman from different time periods.  Does Glut explain why Tony is haunted by dreams of Hea-Thor and the prehistory.  No.  Do we need to care about that?  Nah.  Suggestive and silly sexploitation is genetically trimmed to be less tensioned and more stimulating with comedic relief and attractive nudity and “Dinosaur Valley Girls” delivers both commodities inside a lost world, fantasy-driven framework bred out of the mid-90s out from the wake of the mega blockbuster and special effects Tyrannosaur that was Steven Spielberg’s “Jurassic Park.” 

Visual Vengeance, masters of the ostentatious obscurity and understated SOV films, transport us to the past with “Dinosaur Valley Girls” on a New American debut Blu-ray collector’s release! The BD50 is AVC encoded, 1080i upconverted from 720p, transferred from the original standard definition tape elements, with the pre-film caveat of potential A/V issues to set the bar. Presented in a 1.33:1 aspect ratio, the image is a mix of 35mm and tape that produces a mixed bag of quality standard with some scenes harnessing the film grain while other scenes get a sense of the interlacing aspects of tape. The grading if often muted yellow or a warm greenish tint inside and outside caves that often indicates the yellowing effect caused by either an aging tape or poor record quality but “Dinosaur Valley Girls” is actually one of Visual Vengeance’s better looking products when considering the image. The English Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo mix offers front channel effects without seemingly too fixed. Instead, there’s plenty of distinct isolation between ambience, Foley (including non-diegetic sound effects), dialogue, and soundtrack. Ripping farts and boob-dropping boings take precedence in the layering scheme for the running gags unless there is dialogue than that’s untouched and unmolested with a clear and clean track that can take an anemic turn at times through the dual channels. Optional English subtitles are available for selection. Visual Vengeance supplies substantial supplementals with a new 2023 commentary with director Don F. Glut and director of “Lurking Fear” C. Courtney Joyner along with an archive commentary with same two. Extras continue with a 2023 interview with Dinosaur Valley Guy Don F. Glut, Don Glut: The Collection a look inside Don’s home that doubles as a dinosaur museum, deleted and alternate scenes, the Making of Dinosaur Valley Girls, a music video reel Dinosaur Tracks, Jurassic Punk film soundtrack with music and lyrics, Dinosaur Valley Girls soundtrack music and lyrics, the original storyboards, production stills, go-go dancer and model Mu Wang in Don F. Glut music videos Mu-Seum and Dance Prehistoric, original promotional trailer along with other Visual Vengeance trailers, and a PG-13 (boo) cut of the film. Visual Vengeance’s encoded animated loop menus are always a joy to just watch as well. If you want to talk about marketable physical media content, the limited o-slipcover on this collector’s set alone will turn head and catch eyes with illustrated, half-naked cavegirls running and following over as a monstrous, man-eating Dinosaur roars in the backdrop, credited to graphic artist Rick Melton. If you missed out on the slipcover, the same artwork is pressed on the Blu-ray disc and is on a mini-folded poster tucked in the insert. The clear Blu-ray Amaray case has additional, uncredited artwork that’s more sensationally adventurous than the actual film and the reverse side has the original cover art of a smiling Denise Ames as Hea-Thor pulled from previous releases. Inside is packed with the aforenoted poster plus a “Dinosaur Valley Girls” sticker, retro VHS sticker sheet, and a plotline, release acknowledgement, and Denise Ames image insert sheet. The unrated release is region free and has a runtime of 94-minutes.

Last Rites: Campy, schlocky, and plenty of T&A, “Dinosaur Valley Girls” beats out the Flintstones any day of the week with another Visual Vengeance awesomesaurus release.

“Dinosaur Valley Girls” Visual Vengeance Collector’s Set Available Here!

Milan Has All the Best Short Film EVIL! “Drag Me To Fest” reviewed! (Rustblade / DVD)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Hurry! Grab the Limited Edition Copy of “Drag Me to Fest” Before Its Gone!

An outpatient nurse is requested by an old woman leaving by her lonesome.  Always forgetting and troubling eccentric, the humble nurse finds he’s in way over his head with a clearly unstable, possibly delusion woman, until the truth of her hidden secret unveils a web of horror.  A young couple looking to help a lonely farmer find themselves erecting a sheep fence as well as maintaining the upkeep of a strange rock formation known as a Tursemorkel that emits ooze out of black orifices and soon find the psychological and physiological energy from the Tursemorkel is more than they can withstand.  An elderly couple, tucked away inside their roadside camper trailer, whips up a finger-licking meaty stew made from all natural, locally sourced ingredients as they watch the nightly news’ top story of a missing person.  A man answers the doorbell and finds a package on his step, scratching and crawling out is a festering corpse eager to play with him.  A priest with an obsessive bug collection has him turnaround when a recently caught rare beetle toys with his mind.  Dafne, a young woman lost in another state of mind, is in the presence and in the arms of her own, personal demon. 

These bloodcurdling tales are the latest batch of horror shorts from the annual Milan, Italy hosted Drag Me to Fest.  The festival brings together Italy and international filmmakers to submit their unique brand of terror.  The 2024 lineup were submitted to the Milan collection in 2023, hit the festival the following year, and has now been compiled onto a home video release for North American audiences to enjoy and cower in teeth chattering fear under its namesake title, “Drag Me to Fest,” from Italian distributor Rustblade Records in association with MVD Visual, a subsidiary of MVD Entertainment Group.  Norway’s “Vevkjerring,” or “The Weaving” by Øyvind Willumsen and “Tistlebu” by Matthew Valentine kick off the anthology followed by Italian filmmaker’s Riccardo Suriano’s “Long Pig”, Julie Gun’s “Dafne is Gone,” and Jacopo Vismara’s “Il Coleottero” and finally rounding out with Japanese director Nori Uchida’s “For What the Doorbell Tolls,” all of which are self-produced.

Three countries, six distinct films, and all packed into the unusual side of ambiguously horrifying elements contained inside six short films.  Each character is curated to fit inside the narrative design, no matter how outrageous or avant grade the message is.  Willumsen’s “The Weaver” is a more straight forward, common structured horror of building up tension in an already uncomfortable situation of a friendly, living assisted male nurse Henrik (Fredrik Hovdegård) knocking on the doorstep of a haggard and kooky old croon named Gudrun, played devilishly and disgustingly by Isa Belle.  The next four episodes become a bit vaguer in their intentions of madness, purgatory, survival, and obsession that intends to either harm or transfigure into something beyond the dimensional standard.  “Tistlebu” aims to transfigure as a young city couple (Sascha Slengesol Balgobin and Sjur Vatne Brean) look to connect with nature and their curiosity, coupled by intrusive misuse and sexuality, toward an earthy pillar of energy inside a widow’s (Oda Schjoll) barn enraptures them into something more primordial, literally connecting them to an omnipresent natural world that’s much bigger than their insignificant need.  Uchida provides his own one-of-a-kind performance based immensely off Sam Raimi’s “Evil Dead” by playing not only the hero but also the decaying plaything that arrives at the hero’s doorstep in one’s mirrored rotting of loneliness.  “Il Coleottero’s” Don Antonio (Mimmo Chianese) has a crisis of faith that become sidetracked by his diligent hobby of entomology when his prized find, a rare beetle, suddenly disappears from his collection.  Chianese finds the balance between being a disenchanted priest and an anxious man hunting for the beetle that got away and that will eventually destroy him.  Julie Gun’s “Dafne is Gone” is more operatically finessed with interpretive dance between Dafne (Giulia Gonella) and a demon (Jason Marek Isleib) that’s completely absent of dialogue, stagecraft visualized, and characteristically naked to showcase Dafne’s descent into the Demon’s spellbinding movements.

The collected and presented works are not the highest dollar productions but do encase a prosthetic practicality as seen in Willumsen’s “The Weaver” with a shedding of an exterior layer into a more grotesque freak of nature while Uchida takes the tribute route using filleted flesh and milky contacts, along with LFE tones and grading, modulated vocals, to accomplish his own version of “Evil Dead” without the presence of Ashley Williams.  The others are not as cut and dry with their infinite interpretational insights that likely will speak more on a personal level than a glossy buttered popcorn one that requires little effort to absorb.  “Tistlebu” and “Dafne is Gone” entrench themselves in their respective unknown and modern art by providing very little in the one thing they both have in common, a shared sense of unsettlement.  There’s also an undertone of sexualism as if it equates to the very beast that entrances, which in these shorts is the Tursemorkel, which is a large surface growth that emits an allurement of safety and gratification, and, in comparison, to the demon, perhaps her own visceral demon, that frolics to breach Dafne’s temptation, drawing her closer to his own colorfully neon netherworld in a production of warmly dark euphemism.  “Il Coleottero” is perhaps the best understated undercurrent between the skepticism that plagues man and his faith.  Shot mostly naturally, tension is built on Father Antonio continuous deviations from his religious duties, distracted in his homilies and divine surroundings, by the mere fact of a lost beetle, a beetle, similar to the appearance of a Stag Beetle, that toys with him.  One could assume the beetle represents a test from God to challenge the priest’s diversification balancing his faith between realism against spirituality, to quote biologist J.B.S. Haldane, and I paraphrase, if the creator had made life, it must have been inordinate fondness for beetles because of their profound species diversity.

“Drag Me to Fest” has now hit DVD home video for the first time in its 3rd annual run with a limited edition to 500 copies courtesy of Rustblade Records, routed through the North American distribution channels of MVD Entertainment Group under their MVDVisual label.  The region free release, presented in a widescreen 1.78:1 aspect ratio, is encoded onto a MPEG2, upscaled 1080p, DVD5 with palatable average of image quality in its varying degrees of filming equipment, lighting, and technical know-how to get the intended look without suffering cinematography faux pas.  Compression wise can be a different story but, generally, “Drag Me to Fest” has an adequate presentation albeit a less-than-desirable color saturation, especially Gun’s “Dafne is Gone” that implements warm neon primary coloring in a high contrast, hard light emulsion.  Skin and pattern textures vary from short-to-short, but the delineation is there to not blend depth nor create solid, smoothed out surfaces.  Valentine’s “Tislebu” relies heavily on the rolling hills and greenery farmscape to enact its character qualities for an Earthy or terrestrial mystery important to the sentient and engrossing formation.  The Italian, Japanese, and Norwegian language Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo offers a passable mix that doesn’t elevate the atmospherics or construct tension to the max but neither does it flounder or lay waste to the support of the shorts.  There’s not a profound amount of leveled depth or creative sound design to fabricate space as much of the dialogue and environment resides in the foreground, and the dialogue does render over clean and clearly with forced errorfree English subtitles, but the focus is primarily on moving the story in a matter of minutes for some of the shorts, leaving narrative devices, such as characters and the effects, to drive the story and its tension.  The DVD is a barebones released that does not come with any encoded extra content, but the slim, trifold jewel case does depict a grouping of cherry-picked ideas from the shorts in a green bath illustration from graphic artist Gonz and has individual taglines and color stills for each short.  The 92-minute anthology is unrated. 

Last Rites: Abroad anthology with a goal to highlight and amplify short filmmaker voices, “Drag Me to Fest” finishes up from the main screen and extends to home video for the first time! Rustblade and MVDVisual illuminate the cinema obscure for the general public and we’re all the richer for it!

Hurry! Grab the Limited Edition Copy of “Drag Me to Fest” Before Its Gone!