Never Trust a Script Written by an Egotistically EVIL “Scream Queen” reviewed! (Visual Vengeance / Blu-ray)

This Chainsaw’s Made for Cutting! “Scream Queen” on Blu-ray!

Malicia Tombs, an acclaimed horror actress known for B-movies and bad attitude, bursts into a wreckage of flames when her car sudden explodes after storming off the set of her new movie, “Scream Queen,” in which she wrote and starred as the titular character.  Part of the cast and crew were devastated by the accident that had cut their own career short while others were relieved the egotistical Tombs had perished despite publicly feigning grief over the loss of a genre fan-favorite.  Months later, the small cast and crew receive a mysterious invitation to gather at a creepy mansion butlered by Runyon.  When their host is unveiled as to be a very much alive Malicia Tombs, she offers them a lucrative sum of money to finish the film they’ve started but with a new script.  As the guests read through the new treatment, the cast and crew realize their present moments read just as their being played out in the script, even their deaths. 

If there was ever a single face deserving the representative distinction within an overpopulated categorized scream queen genus, Linnea Quigley would be that green-eyed, blonde-topped, beautiful face with an infectious smile.  Quigley worked with an array of filmmakers, ranging from some of the most renowned cult films of all times amidst reams of horror movies for nearly half a century (yes, we’re feeling old now) to the most independent of the independents films never having really receive the proper exhibition format or audience attention.  To what would be a delight to Quigley’s fanbase, one of those obscure features is Brad Sykes’ “Scream Queen,” a late 90’s filmed, 2002-released, SOV, U.S. slasher written-and-directed by the “Camp Blood” and low-budget filmmaker with Quigley in mind to play the scream queen character Malicia Tombs, now available, officially, on Blu-ray.  “Scream Queen” is the first major project for Brad Sykes in a collaborating effort in not only as a director but also as a co-producer alongside David Sterling of Sterling Entertainment.

“The Return of the Living Dead” and “Night of the Demons” Quigley puts on another memorable and wickedly fiendish performance as the haughty genre scream queen Malicia Tombs who superiority has gone to her head as she embraces her designation to an exact mania, displayed early on when her character’s character attempts to choke-kill another actress despite the numbered scene not being a death scene and Malicia harps on wanting to continue with the resembling act of murder.  As much as Malicia Tombs embraces the killer instinct inside of her, Linnea Quigley very much embraces Malicia Tombs without having to take her top off and despite having less screen time than her costars.  While Quigley fades in and out of the linear story, the narrative progresses with livelihood hardships of the now out-of-work cast and crew who relied heavily on that small film to boost their acting and filmmaking careers.  That crop of characters falls short tipping into their expectations, aspirations, and even their relations to be just slasher fodder for the mysterious maniac roaming the house.  Jenni (Emilie Jo Tisdale,” Escape from Hell”) and Devon (Nova Sheppard) are inferred romantic roommates who sell clothes on the side of the street to make ends meet post failed film but don’t have surmountable direction to either be a full-fledged couple to sympathize or seem terribly concerned about opening their own clothing shop other than what would be a bad decision to reside at the mansion overnight.  Again, no sympathy there either.  The special effects goof Squib (Bryan Cooper churns chuckles relentlessly by relating more to his crafted effects dummy more than people, marking him conclusively comedy relief as well as fated for death that, like in life, no one takes him seriously when he shows up gruesomely mutilated.  The other principal actress across from Tombs is Christine (Nicole West, “Dimension in Fear”), a buxom blonde tired of secretary work succumbing to lead man flirtations in a dark and scary house where every shadowy corner is lodged with threat.  The pair fall into that horror character cliché of have sex, will die, quickly downgrading their pre-professional relationship into nothing more than dark house desire.  Director Eric Orloff (Jarrod Robbins, “Evil Sister 2”), a presumed spin on the Awful Dr. Orloff and perhaps hints at his motives, seems to be stuck in angsty avoidance and melancholy stemmed by what could have been with Scream Queen but that also peters to a gross negligence end of an arc waste.  Rounding out the cast are a couple of special bit parts played by prolific Full Moon Entertainment and overall horror movie screenwriter C. Courtney Joyner (“Puppet Masters III,” “From A Whisper to Scream”) as a televised homicide detective and Kurt Levee in a quasi-return of his character Runnion from “Evil Sister” but alternatively spelled “Runyon” in “Scream Queen.”  

Though obviously and definitely not the first to do this, “Scream Queen” humors metacinema measures built upon horror tropes and spherical plot points that redirects the story back upon itself for a killer effect.  The feature has no issues making and poking fun at itself within a campy context albeit the usually grave apprehensions of a true scary slasher movie that’s less campy of which a scream queen is born – think Jamie Lee Curtis in “Halloween” or Neve Campbell in “Scream.”  Bryan Cooper not only portrayed the foolish effects guy persona but also actually did a lot of the gore gags for the film, achieving very detailed inlaid gore prosthetics for a smalltime picture with an axe embedded into a chest and a mangled face to name a few.  The story itself feels a bit rough and ready as it slips into supernatural obscurity and, as aforementioned, character setups flounder to a stagnation, killing instantly the miniscule arcs that were structured prior to their mansion gathering in what becomes a slapdash of serial offing that wraps up the story post-haste without much cat-and-mouse tension.  With that said, “Scream Queen’s” unpolished plot had once mirrored its fallowed physical release until recently but now witnessing its birth out of twilight has been multitudinous worth the wait. 

Another of Linnea Quigley’s lost films has been resurrected from the format graveyard by Visual Vengeance with a new Blu-ray release of “Scream Queen.”  The Wild Eye Releasing sublabel release comes with an AVC encoded, high definition interlaced scanned and director approved 1080i transfer from the 480p tape elements on BD50 capacity and comes also with the qualitative joys of a standard definition shot on video experience.  SOV tape upconversion can never completely eradicate the imperfections associated with tape and we also know this going in courtesy of Visual Vengeance’s standard practice of a fair warning before the film, but the overall “Scream Queen” presentation passes as clear content despite some minor tracking blips, 1.33:1 aspect ratio, original lower resolution, and scan line visibility, which is smoothed out nicely by the 1080i conversion. Exteriors and brightly lit scenes take on more shape compared to darker and low-lit areas that become like a void in standard DEF, which also hits the natural grading into a washed-out drab.  The English Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo labors to maintain some form of auricular strength but often nearly goes dark to where certain Linnea Quigley monologues periodically go silent for a few seconds, so the dialogue isn’t entirely clear but when it is, it’s relatively clean. There’s no hardiness pop in the audio track, staying suppressed throughout, and having little-to-no range or depth to the compile contexture. Some electro-interference throughout but nothing to be bothered by considering the grade of the SOV. Optional English subtitles are available. Special features include a commentary with writer-director Brad Sykes, a new behind-the-scenes documentary Once Upon A Time Horrowood that’s mostly Brad Sykes going through the stages of making “Scream Queen” and his recollections of his first big time produced film, a new interview with star Linnea Quigley, a new interview with one of the three various editors Mark Polonia (director of “Splatter Farm”), an original full-length feature producer’s cut of “Scream Queen,” a behind-the-scenes image gallery, Linnea Quigley image gallery, snippets from the original script, original trailer, and other Visual Vengeance distribution trailers. Along with the hearty software special features, hardware physical features include a six-page trifold with behind-the-scenes color photos notes by Weng’s Chop Magazine’s Tony Strauss and beautifully illustrated with dripping blood, a chainsaw, and Linnea Quigley on the front cover, a folded up mini color poster of a scantily-leathered Linnea holding one of the film’s murderous weapons, retro stickers, and your very own Four Star Video plastic rental card. All of this great stuff is stuffed inside a clear Blu-ray Amary case with a pressed disc art of a bloody illustrated Linnea sawing some unknown guy’s face off. The same illustrated graces the front cover in an expanded form and under a different hue. If you don’t like it, which I would be hard-pressed if you don’t, the reverse side contains one of the original cover arts with, again, a scantily-leathered Linnea holding that murderous weapon. The entire package is sheathed inside a rigid O-slipcover with an extended view of that chainsaw scoring with a bloody spray the eyeball from some guy’s face. The 13th Visual Vengeance release comes region free, unrated, and has a runtime of 78-minutes. Lost vintage now found and digitally revived to give us even more Linnea Quigley than we knew we needed with a meta-film shows initiative and fit special effects but swerves off trajectory into a more-of-the-same pathway. 

This Chainsaw’s Made for Cutting! “Scream Queen” on Blu-ray!

Be Careful Of Your Friends. They May Be EVIL! “Stabbed in the Face” reviewed! (Wild Eye Releasing / DVD)

“Stabbed in the Face” is now on DVD!

A high school Halloween party becomes the catalytic event for a motley of friends that plan a party in a remote haunted house where the urban legend of the three legged lady had brutally slain her husband and his mistress before her own insanity was gunned down by local authorities.  Simultaneously, a prison escaped murderer roams free around the same area, living a few friends on edge but reassured by the others that nothing will happen.  As the party begins, sex, drugs, and alcohol fuel the night away until one of the girls winds up missing and all that is left is a blood-stained bathroom where she was last seen heading.  Fingers begin pointing at each other as panic and anxiety sets in but as the thought of a deranged escape convict overtakes as best suspect, the others quickly split up to find more of their roll-in-the-hay and pothead friends only to discover the hard way that splitting up is a bad idea when hidden agendas come to light.

A character trope loaded slasher forms the foundational framework and sets up filmmaker Jason Matherne’s 2004 feature with a killer-thriller twist.  With an unambiguous forthcoming of brutality right smack-dab in the middle of the title of “Stabbed in the Face,” Matherne, the low-budget director of the franchised “Goreface Killer,” an if-you-can-believe-it less profane name to the film’s true title of “the Cockfaced Killer,” helms his sophomore gruesome gorescape off a script by fellow “Goreface Killer” writer and collaborator Jared Scallions.  The independent gore-and-shocker set in the late 1980s lands a setting in Louisiana and Mississippi, specifically around the off-beaten trails and areas of New Orleans, under Matherne’s New Orleans-based horror and exploitation yielding Terror Optics Films, under the copyright of CFK (Cockface Killer) Enteratinment, which innately chairs Matherne with the executive producer hat as well as with Jaren Scallions co-executive producing and having a principal role in the story.

Character clichés clutter the chain of events with your typical pot smokers (Jared Scallions and André Le Blanc), bad boy (Eric Fox), jock (Bill Heintz), nerd (Steve Waltz), slut (Kristen McCrory), bitch (Dana Kieferle) and goody two-shoe virgin (Amanda Kiley).  The gang is all here for the slaughter, initiating formulaic conventionalisms that would make any horror aficionado cringe with an internal “here we go again” snide rippling through their gore-bore heads at the lack of originality and creativeness from another indie production.  Yet, if you stick with the story and pay attention (instead of doom scrolling your phone), Scallion’s script evolves out of being a simplistic carbon-copy primate and into a singular, secerning Homo Sapien with idiosyncrasies because though most characters remain on the routine attribute course, more than one don’t in an an uncommon but rarely explored concept that puts audience theories and callouts to bed before the unsuspecting reveal.  If needing a comparison, think about the “Scream” franchise as those films are really good at playing out the whodunit in complicated pairings with a big surprise at the very end.  In “Stabbed in the Face,” the unmasking is not as potent but the possible advents serpentine the story, some more obvious than others, and each carry a different motivation crashing head-on with each other after a few Matherne measured red herrings to throw off the plot predictable scent as well as building up tropes to the max of their mechanics, such examples would be the overly unchaste Starr who bed hops men without shame or overstating Bruce’s money and smarts with talks of getting into Harvard and his girlfriend is only with him for his family’s wealth.  Scallion slathers principals thick with stenciled overflow and when that bottom drops and all hell breaks loose, the ostensible outcome dissolves like wet paper.  Katheryn Aronson, Samantha M. Capps, Matt Mitkevicious, Bonnie W. Picone, Jerry Paradis, Helen Whiskey, Betsy Fleming, and J.C. Pennington complete the cast.

“Stabbed in the Face” is about as savage as it sounds.  Perhaps not as graphic or intense as the Wild Eye DVD illustrated cover art (we secretly wished it was), kills that amount to the titular act has a mortality rate of only two and those pair of perforations don’t live up to the wonderfully ghastly illustrated cover but, overall, fulfills the promise.  It’s quite evident that Matherne has no qualms about using splatter and sex, two of the biggest keys to a successful slasher, in his punk-scored abjection of lewd-laced murder.  Yet, it would be very remiss of me if I didn’t point out that “Stabbed in the Face’s” blade strikes air at times with the story.  Disconnection between the first couple of scenes and the haunted house party planning and then on completely omits the transpiring moment of the jock’s sister’s murder as scenes progress, passing through the event without as much of a whisper.  She’s just there in a scene and then she’s not and that isn’t explained until after the planning of the haunted house trip when the virgin naively asks while settling into his car about the girl who apparently was hacked to pieces on school grounds two months prior.  The heavy weight of that loss isn’t there for the jock, not even a fleeting moment of sadness or shock, as everything continues as if nothing happened.  The other characters are not struck by the loss either and this sweeps the character’s death under the rug and insignificant to the plot, but does a film entitled “Stabbed in the Face” really care about emotional scarring?  Or is the intention to leave open wounds to fester with more knife strikes, decapitations, and eviscerations?  If I was a magic eight ball, all signs would be point to yes toward the latter as special effects team Jason Bradford, Robert Masters, and Richie Roachclip pull their weight (professionally, not emotionally) creating better than anticipated morbid scenes of murder albeit the one or two obvious CGI blood splatter.

An 80’s teen slasher incarnate, “Stabbed in the Face” glorifies gratuitous sex, drugs, and gore, appropriately curated and displayed by our friends at Wild Eye Releasing on their Raw & Extreme sublabel.  The 78th released title on the sublabel is presented in a blown-up aspect ratio of 1.85:1 widescreen, eliminating the horizontal bars, on a MPEG2 encoded DVD5.  Resolution retains the image tautness with only a handful of scenes cropped and zoomed in even more that reduces pixels to a more granular façade.  Matherne owns the softer presentation with instances of posterization, especially when creating a period piece using stark colored gels and less light for positioning thicker shadow that hazily defines objects, as if lurking in the dark.  The English language Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo track has great dialogue strength that does sound boxy.  I suspect a ADR dub but highly unlikely with the really good synch and might just be more carefully attained specified audio with key boom placement.  Eric Fox’s electron and punk soundtrack parallel “Stabbed in the Face’s” indie-grunge horror with synthesizing tells of inspiration from the 80’s era.  Punk and hillbilly rock bands on the soundtrack include multiple tracks from The Poots, The Projections and The Pallbearers – the three Ps.  The static menu features full-length tracks from the soundtrack overlaying its static menu with the only bonus feature being a “Stabbed in the Face” Featurette, a behind-the-scenes look in raw and polished form at the film’s genesis and production with discussions from cast and crew.  Along with the feature’s own trailer, also included but separate from the bonus features are other Raw & Extreme trailers of “Crimewave,” “Goregasm,” “Whore,” “Video Killer,” “Blood Slaughter Massacre,” “Hotel Inferno,” and “Acid Bath.”  This portion of the menu options does not include a music track.  To turn consumers onto the film, more so the gore fans than popcorn film goers, the ultraviolent cover keeps in accordance with the Raw & Extreme profile.  The cover art is also semi-reversible with magnified bloody image on the inside of the frosted Amaray DVD case.  The disc is printed with the same cover art image, just downsized.  The unrated DVD has a runtime of 81 minutes and is region free.  Just hearing the title can induce the sensation of a sharp edge going through soft flesh and with that phantom impression of pain, “Stabbed in the Face” is horny, bloody, and punk!

“Stabbed in the Face” is now on DVD!

EVIL Loves to Clown Around. “The Jester” reviewed! (Dread / Blu-ray)

“The Jester” on Blu-ray Home Video!

Days before Halloween, a man hangs himself from off a bridge.  His funeral not only services the wake for his grieving daughter Jocelyn but also brought out his estranged and aggrieved daughter Emma, Jocelyn’s half-sister from a failed marriage their father had abandoned when Emma was very young.  Jocelyn reaches across the aisle to connect and to bond with the peripheral Emma, but the scorned older half-sibling only expresses anger and confliction over feeling grief for man who no longer wanted to be a part of her life until the very end after reaching out a few times to make amends.  Emma and Jocelyn soon discover that a malevolent, supernatural trickster, known as the Jester, was somehow involved with their father’s untimely demise and now, on Halloween night, the Jester is following and toying with them in a playfully sadistic manner, preying on the one thing that bonds and also disconnects the sisters from being content. 

Based on his 2016 three chaptered shorts of the same name, writer-director Colin Krawchuk pulls from the best parts of those shorts, sprinkles a little more sadism on top, and creates his debut into full-length feature film with this titular antagonist, “The Jester,” at the center.  Co-written with longtime collaborate on various shorts as well as “The Jester” shorts is Michael Sheffield, who also brings to life the Jester’s amusing animated animosity and flamboyant cryptic personality from script to screen.   “The Jester” represents a theme of tormenting guilt for this afflicted and those surrounding the person and is symbolized by the absurdity of a clown masked fool in a gaudily colored top-hat and cheap suit with a deviant chip on his shoulder.  Film in and around the Frederick, Maryland area, “The Jester” is a product of Cinematic Productions, based in local Maryland region, and the Dread Central acquiring entertainment company, Epic Productions, under the Dread genre label with Carlo Glorioso, Patrick Ewald, and Katie Page producing with Mary Beth McAndrews and Eduardo Sánchez (director of “Satanic Hispanics”) executive producing.

Through the years of cinema, a plethora of personalities have emerged all vying for our entertainment seeking eye and while most, especially in the indie market, recycle the very idiosyncratic eccentricities of notable characters or extract some inspiration for blatant misappropriation into their own performance, every once and awhile comes a role that can be undeniably fresh, engaging, and unpredictable.  That’s how Michael Sheffield’s Jester presents to me as a versatile villain with broad expressions and precise stratagem that even by not saying a single word in the entire runtime still manages to have us on edge with just what’s up the Jester’s playful, prestidigitate sleeve.  Sheffield’s tall and lanky stature greatly suits the Machiavellian complimented by the outlandish vestments and wooden cane.  As an unceremonious symbol of guilt, the Jester becomes the obstacle between half-sisters from both sides of their father’s railroad tracks.  Delaney White’s introductory feature film begins her off as Jocelyn, a well-liked, sympathetic, and balanced young woman who can’t help but want to connect with an older half-sister she never knew.  Lelia Symington (“Brut Force”) couldn’t portray older sister Emma anymore opposite as a daughter holding onto a rightful grudge against a father who abandoned here at a young age.   That same bitterness extends to the more affable and kept cherished extension of her father, to Jocelyn, but an innate emotion eats at Emma, an inexplicable pang for his death that drives her to pique when she shouldn’t care less about her deadbeat dad and that manifests into deadlier, dastardlier demons, or at least one dressed-up, duplicitous, and dapper demon.  Matt Servitto, Lena Janes, Mia Rae Roberts, Sam Lukowski (“You’re F@#K’n Dead!”), and Cory Okouchi (“Ninjas vs. Zombies”) fill out “The Jester’s” roles.

Once the end credits started roll, I immediately research “The Jester” like I do with all the films I review to try and go beyond just the film with information, trivia, connections, see other reviews and public opinion, etc.  Why?  Because I’m a hardcore nerd, but what I found in the public comments about the film, especially on Letterboxd, is that many compared “The Jester” as a rip of Art the Clown from “Terrifier.”  Initially, a small voice inside my mind, processing the images from my visual cortex, thought the very same the mass majority did, or does rather.  Quickly, I nipped that fleeting resemblance in the bud because of a couple of reasons: “Terrifier’s” whole gag is gore-drenched for purely shock value as Art the Clown terrorizes and kills those in his path whereas “The Jester” represents more between the lines of guilt, loss, and connecting with what matters between the disfiguration of a dysfunction relations and the other reason is both films nearly sprout at the same time.  Yes, “All Hallows Eve” was released three years prior to Krawchuk’s short films and while it’s unknown whether the director was inspired by Damien Leone’s first pass, “All Hallows Eve” didn’t quite overflow the social media cup like “Terrifier” did a few years later.  Many in the horror community compare “The Jester” to “Terrifier” despite the latter not having been coined until the same year as “The Jester’s” shorts films were released.  Sure, Art the Clown and the Jester share similarities, such as a form of a clown mask and have malevolent supernatural abilities, but the blanket comments are like saying just because Jason Voorhees wears a mask, uses a knife, and doesn’t say a word that he is a clone of Michael Myers.  Overall, “The Jester’s” understated tone with a no holds barred harlequin has decent dark humor due in part to Michael Sheffield’s charade of an act and precision special effect, editing, and camera angles.  Where “The Jester” struggles is where it hurts the film the most and that is with an ending that just drops off the edge of the cliff without a ton of closer that really wraps Jocelyn and Emma’s story neatly nor offers a satisfyingly open-ended dangler for more violent jest.   Perhaps 7-years too late after the release of the shorts, “The Jester” will see push back as a facsimile but I implore you, the readers, to give the Colin Krawchuk feature more than just a bias-gazing once over. 

Epic Pictures’ genre label Dread releases “The Jester” on an AVC encoded, 1080p high-definition, BD25 that’s presented in a widescreen 1.85:1 aspect ratio.  As much of the film takes place at night, details are heavily reliant on the lighting and the compression encoding.  While “The Jester” is not the epitome of sharp edge delineation and detail with a supercharged color palette, the encoded shingles retain a pullulating scheme of adequate grading and detail keeping artifacts to a reduced level within the slightly softer image. The heavier image compression is fastened to the three shorts in the bonus content with horrendous basins of splotchy patches. Two English Dolby Digital audio tracks come with the release: a 5.1 surround sound and a 2.0 stereo. Each render about the same with the 5.1 slimming down and isolating channels for specific back, front, and center audio assignments. No issues with the clean and clear dialogue through the digital, interference-free registering though most of the conversations are one-sided with the Jester’s mime expressions. English closed caption subtitles are available. The three Colin Krawchuk and Michael Sheffield 2016 shorts, as I said multiple times already, are included in the special features along with the official trailer and other Dread previews. The standard Blu-ray Amary has a hard-lit Jester face to exact ever fold of the mask smack on the front cover with a bare insert pocket and the pressed disc art fanned out with the Jester’s antique playing cards imprinted on top. The region free release has a runtime of 80 minutes and comes not rated. Clever, entertaining, and devilish, “The Jester” acts the whimsical clown of conscience-stricken torment with an indelible joker different from the rest of the villainy pool.

“The Jester” on Blu-ray Home Video!

Amusing Little EVIL Enjoying the Carnival Rides! “Ghoulies II” reviewed! (MVD Visual / Blu-ray)

Next Time You Sit On the Can, Check the Bowl First!  “Ghoulies II” on Blu-ray!

The travelling Hardin Family carnival has been on a steady decline through the years.  The Hardin Holdings group, aka Mr. Hardin, dispatches his young senior accountant and son, Philip Hardin, as authoritative proxy to ensure sustainable profit.  One of the longstanding attractions, Satan’s Den, lies headfirst on the chopping block with a dismal profit rate.  Determined to recover and avoid being permanently shut down, Larry, his drunk uncle Ned, and actor Sir Nigel Penneyweight won’t give up so easily despite needing a miracle.  That miracle comes in the form of the Ghoulies who hitch a ride on Satan’s Den’s trailer while escaping persecution.   The pintsized demons bring the slowly withering Satan’s Den back to lucrative life but at the deadly cost of the patrons and carneys who fall victim to the Ghoulies impish behavior.  Larry vows to rid the amusement on their infestation after uncle Ned perishes at the demons’ tiny hands but Philip has glimmering money signs in his eyes. 

They’re back!  The Ghoulies return as masterless nomads after a failed attempt of abduction by a devout crusader aiming to destroy the pagan evocations and wreak mischievous havoc on a two-bit amusement park suffering from low attendance.  The late Albert Band, father of Full Moon’s Charlie Band and director of “Dracula’s Dog” and “I Bury the Living,” took over the reins from first film director Luca Bercovici and helmed “Ghoules II,” a vastly different kind Ghoulies tale of terrorizing totality based off the Charlie Dolan story and a polished script from “Re-Animator’s” and “From Beyond’s” Dennis Paoli.  Filmed entirely in Rome, and mostly in a soundstage, where Empire Pictures headquarters were located, the 1987 sequel was the last Ghoulies venture from executive producer Band and his Empire Productions empire before Vestron oversaw the subsequent sequels.  Albert Band produced the feature with Frank Hildebrand (“Once Bitten,” “Project Metalbeast”) serving as associate producer. 

With the contestable exception of the five prosthetic creatures receiving a dust off and sprucing up paint job, none of the lively characters from the first film return for the sequel in what becomes a principal clean slate.  The story starts off with who appears to be a man of God fleeing on foot with a bag over his shoulder from three cloaked cult acolytes.  There’s never a reference to this escaping man (Anthony Dawson) or the shrouded cultists in torch-in-hand tow but does arouse a bit of enigmatic energy around the Ghoulies misadventures through the human plane and happening upon the likes of two opposite side of the spectrum carneys who are also related between the long-in-the-tooth and drunk Ned by the loveable character actor in Royal Dano (“Killer Klowns from Outer Space,” “Spaced Invaders”) and his big top tenderfoot nephew Larry played by Damon Martin.  Ned’s alcoholism combined with stress over possibly losing Satan’s Den makes causes him complexity within his closest confidants for when he happens upon the Ghoulies after citing an incantation, he’s also in a drunken stupor, and so he words of exciting, or maybe even warning, fall on deaf ears as intoxicated imaginations that result in a pity for his dependency.  As Larry and the Shakespearean line spewing Sir Nigel Pennyweight (Phil Fondacaro, “Willow”) continue with setting up the ragamuffin that is the antiquated Satan’s Den, they let Neg wander despite suspecting his delusions of demons due to the pressures of one carnival hotshot Phil Hardin (J. Downing, “Robot Wars”) who has come to town to clean up his family’s carnival act with threatens of shutdowns and layoffs.  Hardin’s your typical weight-throwing antagonist with a pompous attitude and wandering eye for the most gorgeous girl under the tent, in this case it’s with Larry’s love interest Nicole (Kerry Remsen, “Pumpkinhead”), a once great high-wire performer turned belly dancer for the departmental freakshow act.  Nichole’s hidden talents, buried deep beneath past personal pain, will undoubted be utilized for climatic gain as all chaos breaks loose on carnival grounds with the Ghoulies break free of Satan’s Den menagerie of cardboard and latex-crafted horrors.  “Ghoulies II” rounds out the cast with Jon Pennell, Sasha Jenson, Donnie Jeffcoat, Donald Hodson, Dale Wyatt, Romano Puppo, Ames Morton, Michael Deak, and Full Moon actor-turned-director William Butler (“Night of the Living Dead” ’90, “Baby Oopsie”).

Along with a new set of human characters, “Ghoulies II” also freshens up the trajectory by focusing less on the black magic that saturated the plot of the first film and relying more on the gremlin-like playfulness of the Ghoulies themselves, rightfully giving way into the very creatures of the title. There’s some magic involved but only to the extent that doesn’t have the Ghoulies rely on a master to evocate them from the Netherworld or for the dark powers to be used to perpetuate wickedness upon others.  Instead, the ghoulies are depicted utilizing their skillsets, such as flying, oral expelling sticky-gunk, super-strength, and chomping, which obviously lead to more of a micro-level apocalypse of carnage; however, the print obtained for the MVD Blu-ray release is the edited down version for theatrical circulation so some, not a lot mind you, of the gory bits have been taken out and this makes the storyline stutter with misplaced time with rough segues and an imbalance of edits that aren’t as smooth.  From what I’ve seen, the minuscule timed deleted scenes are not much more violent or gory but add just that tad more context to the next scene instead of our brains working to connect the dots on what should be a brain shutoff, entertaining creature feature.  Yet, you can’t deny the sequel’s appeal that has turned to center around the little demons assiduously but managing to keep the same, steady pace of ferity and gothic skim of mise-en-scene from the first.  Puppetry is retained for that palpable product while also introducing stop-motion, a visual effect that has served Empire/Full Moon well throughout the years and is only used sparingly to wet the limitless capabilities of our miniature monsters to roam free in open spaces. 

“Ghoulies” return with the sequel to MVD’s Rewind Collection as Blu-ray release number 53 on the spine. The AVC encoded, high-definition, 1080p Blu-ray is presented in a widescreen 1.85:1 aspect ratio. A virtual carbon copy of the first film in regard to a well-preserved print, the sequel isn’t noted in having a 4K restoration scan like the antecessor release number 52 but the 2K scan offers an abundancy of positive picture rendering with a seamless color grading that isolates distinction and range as well as a tangible details, especially on characters and the ghoulies alike who are often gleaming and show off every nook and cranny ridge on their dark, hairy bodies. Aforementioned, this print is the theatrical cut, missing some gruesome elements for the sake of a broader audience, and while most of the print is near flawless, there is one dunk tank scene that’s cropped and noticeably marred with horizon creases in the brief airtime. The English LPCM uncompressed 2.0 stereo mix caters to every audible necessity of the “Ghoulies” soundtrack, ambience, Foley, and dialogue. The latter is clean and clear with prominence over the rest of the layers though I wouldn’t label it flawless with some echoey segments, almost a doubling effect, that might be due to the soundstage vibrations at Empire. Ambient track provides a wide range with exact depth with the example being inside Satan’s Den of horrors where doors creak, motorized bats fly overhead, and other models of haunted house spookery, along with an underlining carnivalesque soundtrack by Fuzzbee Morse (“Dolls”), is the epitome of a great sound design suffused together. English, French, and Spanish subtitles are optionally available on this release. Special features include an introduction by screenwriter Dennis Paoli, which is also available as a standalone at the play feature option, More Toilets, More Terror: A Making of Ghoulies 2 is a retrospective lookback with select cast and crew, an interview with Dennis Paoli Under a Magic Moon, the gruesome deleted scenes, a photo gallery, and theatrical trailer. Physical attributes include a VHS retro-esque mockup of the original poster art on a cardboard O-slipcover, fitting for the sub-bannering Rewind Collection. The same image graces the front cover of the clear Blu-ray Amary case, but the cover art is also reversible with one of the film’s most memorable smoochy-kiss moments plus title above. The disc is art pressed similar as the first film, a laser disc veneer on the Blu-ray top. Opposite side is the folded poster insert of the slipcover front image. The region A playback release has a runtime of 90 minutes and is rated PG-13. “Ghoulies II” retains that same diabolical energy as the first film but channels it very differently into the very titular creatures that puts them at the forefront instead of being just an afterthought in a sequel that celebrates their uncontrollable knavery and loving every second of it.

Next Time You Sit On the Can, Check the Bowl First!  “Ghoulies II” on Blu-ray!

Even Bad CGI Crocodiles Have an EVIL Smile. “Crocodile Island” reviewed! (Well Go USA Entertianment / DVD)

Journey to the “Crocodile Island” on DVD from Well Go USA!

The Dragon Triangle is known for being the Bermuda Triangle off the coast of the Asia continent.  Ship and plane mysteriously disappear due to the area’s supposedly distorted navigational and mechanical instruments, wreaking havoc on commercial transportation and the directionless travelers who have wandered into its esoteric province.  When an Australian outbound commercial flight GZ261 is forced to violently crash land due to this very phenomenon, survivors find themselves not in the middle of the sea but on an uncharted island full of man-eating crocodiles, large and ferocious spiders, and a giant, prehistoric crocodile that can swallow a person whole.  With no food or water and danger lurking around every corner, the remaining, uneaten passengers must survive with the tools around them and locate the wreckage of a World War II plane that crashed long ago, salvage it’s radio, and call for rescue but the journey is perilous with a very hungry, colossal crocodile on their tail.

The Dragon Triangle, alternatively known as the Devil’s Sea or the Pacific Bermuda Triangle, is actually a real stretch of urban legend approximately located from the Northern Tokyo to the narrow vertex down below the island of Guam and enveloping most of the Japanese offshore islands.  The suspected berth of paranormal yarn has a long history of marine mysteries and aviation ambiguities and it’s also the basis for the 2020 Xu Shixing and Simon Zhao creature-feature actioner “Crocodile Island.”  Shixing, who went on to helm “Sharktopus” released this year, and Zhao, who oversaw the directorial duties for “The Antarctic Octopus” also released this year, seem to have knack for exaggerated megafauna movies beginning with “Crocodile Island” from a script by Minming Ni of “Exorcist Judge Bao.”  The undivided Chinese production showcases under the banner of Perfect World Pictures, an entertainment content company that often co-finances films with American studios, such as with “Jurassic Park Dominion, and New Studios Media, the company behind Ni’s “Exorcist Judge Bao.” 

At the very core of “Crocodile Island’s” larger-than-life CGI creature extravaganza is a life ordeal larger than any crocodile could ever be with a strained father-daughter relationship that takes surviving a plane crash, man-eating reptilians, and supersized spiders to resolve.  In steps Gallen Lo as rigid father Lin Hao to agitated and rebellious daughter Lin Yi, or as called continuously in the film as Yiyi, played by Liao Yinyu.  The “Vampire Controller” Lo takes parental responsibilities like a high-end security guard at an exclusive night club exhibiting almost zero emotion toward an equally stoic daughter who just lost their mother, the reason for the plane ride from Australia where Yiyi’s mother, Lin Hao’s ex-wife and Yiyi resided after a suspected divorce. I say suspected because Lin Hao hasn’t seen his daughter in years, solidifying his estrangement to the extreme, but deep down he reticent care for her despite the lack of expressive emotions and awkward alienation.  He shows this be becoming a gatekeeper against Yiyi’s romantic interest Cheng Jie (Wang Bingxiang) who boards the same flight but keeps his distance by concealing his presence from what would ultimately be a father’s sundering wrath in effort to protect and reconnect with her having been absent during her adolescence and still thinking she’s a child.  That becomes the underlining theme to “Crocodile Island,” to fight to protect what’s most dear to you, as Lin Hao fights against man and beast to protect his child and going through the learning curve of her growing up.  One significant flaw in Lin Hao’s development is his background is never divulged.  We’re hinted by other survivors that he might be former military, but nothing is clear except that he’s had some survivalist and leadership training, two apex personality attributes that collide in reconnecting with his daughter as well as sewing a connection with her boyfriend who’s eager to protect Yiyi too.  Out of all the survivors, this triad dynamic is harder pressed than the others – a first child expecting couple, a social media junkie and her creep of a friend with a bad heart, a pair of single men – who seem like they’re just a long for the ride, to be crocodile chow, or to give the principals more time to work out their internal issues.  Wei Dang, Xue’er Hu, Qiwei He, Zhao Zuo, Zhiyan Zhao, Jack Wayne, Bruce Alleyn, Patrick Alleyn, and Jinyi Zhao costar.

“Crocodile Island” stands alone as a 100% Chinese backed product for the often American partnered Perfect World Pictures as the carnivores look nothing remote similar to the likes of “Jurassic Park” and, instead, has all the hallmarks of a midnight feature on the Syfy Channel but even through the shoddy computer imagery, the feature remains one-up from those made-for-television premiers by turning on and building up some tense atmospherics, a fog-laden forecast with Kaiju-lite spiders dangling-dormant overhead the survivors or the close-quarters cave battle against the giant crocodile, that does keep concentration from veering off into a ditch of mundane dullness.  Still, every creature, every aircraft, and every explosion from the muzzle fire of the U.S. military issued Thompson submachine gun to the fragmentation detonation of the MK II grenades are CGI rendered and poorly at that.  The laws of physics do not apply to “Crocodile Island” as the regular sized reptilians can leap forward, airborne, for feet on end and the action is almost a near, undefinable blur on screen of the pallid, fringing translucency composite mockup.  While visual effects can be 90’s intro-level rubbish (what year are we in?), I found the story to be palpable enough and to a point of plane crash survivors find themselves basically on a heavily reduced variation of “Land of the Lost” or “Journey to the Center of the Earth” where instead of a T-Rexes and other giant, prehistoric creatures nipping at their heels, massive ocean crocodiles and arachnids lay claim to their flesh and bones but that part of the story wavers on wishy-washy rationalization.  The World War II plane that crashes, because of a flock of pterodactyls nonetheless, was carrying radioactive material which is alluded to being the cause of the giant spiders and crocodile, yet the crocodile was present at the WW II plane crash when snatching one of the pilots right out of the sky with a vertical leap, so the mysterious Dragon Triangle Isle remains still a mystery.

If I had to choose between the Bermuda Triangle and the Dragon Triangle, my chances of survival definitely reside better west side of the prime meridian and now you can make that determination yourself with a DVD copy of “Crocodile Island” courtesy of Well Go USA Entertainment.  As part of their Hi-Yah! collection, despite depicting no martial arts, “Crocodile Island” is presented in a widescreen 16×9 aspect ratio and stored on a MPEG2 encoded DVD9 with a average bitrate between 7 to 8 Mbps.  Aside from the absurd VFX, “Crocodile Island” looks pretty good compression-wise and detail-wise with a blight free digital image that pops with lush greenery and stark contrast, the brilliant sandy beach and bright blue water comes to mind as examples, with a grading range that runs the natural color spectrum.  The Mandarin language audio comes with two options:  a Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound and a Stereo 2.0.  Both render a clean, damage free mix with prominent dialogue and a pinpoint ambient sound design only to be besmirched by the laughable CGI and creature noises.  While the track is listed as strictly Mandarin, an English dub on the same track combs over the natural voices of the English-speaking actors, the pilots in the movie who are obviously speaking English when reading their lips, but the English dub sounds like Asian actors attempting English vocal impersonations that synch up egregiously.  Subtitles include English, traditional Chinese, and a simplified Chinese, which I’m not entirely sure if that means for a child’s benefit or another reason.  The English synch appears to be oversimplified as well with a slew of straight forward statements and exclamations, adding little depth to what the meaning characters attempt to convey in more significant conversion.  There’s not much in the way of special features in the rainy motion DVD menu aside from the film’s trailer and other Well Go USA Entertainment preview trailers for “A Creature Was Stirring,” “Creepy Crawly,” and “Gangnam Zombie.” The Amaray front cover has run-of-the-mill, campy Giant crocodile pomposity of a cover art with the doubled-sided, one-sheet inside insert of other Hi-Yah! Well Go USA Entertainment titles. What I found aesthetic is the simple designed, yet eye-catching disc pressed with a shimmering glint. Not rated and locked on a region one playback, the release has a runtime of 87 minutes. While this crocodile’s skin remains without a tangible leathery hide in the semi-aquatic beast’s digital creation, “Crocodile Island” has sporadic action and atmospheric value vastly needed to combat the cringeworthy croc.

Journey to the “Crocodile Island” on DVD from Well Go USA!