Check out my video review for the 2013 Dustin Mills movie Night of the Tentacles! An Its Bloggin’ Evil first in reviews!
I’ve seen more Evil from a Carebear. Lethal Ninja review!
Remember my video post a few days back? (See Evil Mail Call! post) You just recall me blabbing about Lethal Ninja (aka For Hire), you know, the Blue Laser title DVD with a really neat retro nineties look with a white boy ninja, holding a sai and is reflecting a half naked woman? Well, I had the time to pop in the disk and try to see how lethal this white nina with a mullet really is?
Chinatown is overrun by kung-fu expert gangs who are controlled by the mob. The mayor weak footed stance has him unsure about what to do and it doesn’t help matters if the cops don’t want to patrol Chinatown in fear of losing their lives. The mayor receives mysterious notes at every turn and read “For Hire” and a 555 telephone number. The mayor mustards up his last bit of hope and calls the For Hire number. J.D. Makay answers the mayor’s prayers as he uses his ninja abilities to clean up Chinatown from the foot troops to the head of management, but at the stake of the mayor’s family.
We begin Lethal Ninja with early nineties hip-hop james and dancing then a gang comes up and starts to throw fake punches, knocking people down. All this happens even with the hip-hop band still sings and dances turning it into an In Living Color musical introduction. This is just one of the instances that doesn’t make sense in this direct-to-video film. We have random imagery of J.D. Makay practicing his movie hyped ninja moves. Every time a for hire card is exposed, J.D. Makay throws a karate chop or a round house kick. What scene really disturbed me was when Bambi Swayze, who plays as Rachel – family friend to the mayor and his family – is riding the main boss’s crotch. He twists his lips and eyes into some contorted mess that I can’t really explain what is really going on. He chants “obey me” while images of his son Sonny come on and off the screen. Oh, and by the way, Sonny is shot in the gut in the cemetery scene and still lives and is walking around just fine. Literally, shot in the guy with the bullet going through his body leaving a bloody shirt tail at his back. But that twisted face will leave me with nightmares for the rest of my days.
The character J.D. Makay just isn’t an assured action hero. He can’t seem to protect the mayor’s family, he is saved a quite a few times by the mayor’s youngest boy, and can’t even tell that a cross-dressing hit man creeping around the burial ceremony. Makay’s skills are a joke. If I put Barney Fife in the Octogon with J.D. Makay, Barney would surely win by the first round. Unfortunately, director Stefan Rudnicki just didn’t have the budget to afford better actors and special effects which would have aided the passable DVD cover. It’s a good thing I only paid $1.86 for this DVD. I couldn’t see myself paying the retail of $15.99 or more and if I did, I should just give away all my money – perhaps donate it to the veteran ninja society for the disabled. I still look for to the other Blue Laser DVD Boiler Room. I imagine it’ll be just as glamourous and thrilling like Lethal Ninja.
Lethal Ninja is an enjoyable film with lots of booze and many humorous compadres. You won’t be able to teach yourself the ways of the ninja or learn the responsible ways of running a city as a mayor, but you’ll have your joke vault filled for the rest of your life. The gullibility of the writing is incomparable. I’ve seen Paul Naschy movies better than this, but I guess we all inspire to have a little ninja in us every once and awhile and that is why we make movies about them no matter how much money we don’t possess. If you don’t want to catch this awesome flick on DVD, you can watch the cliff notes version below!
Kevin Bacon and the Evil Cult! (TV Series – Eps. 2 Review)
I’m hooked. I’m all about The Following because we don’t know who has fallen under Joe Carroll’s twisted spell, his literary sequel to his first 14 female victims. Ryan Hardy is now the center of this story and he’s still able to play Carroll’s game by sometimes being one step ahead of the brilliant Carroll.
Episode two focuses the kidnapping of Carroll’s son from his mother, Jordy, the serial killer apprentice, and his first kills, and more background on the two fake gays and the nanny who are following Carroll. The police are always two steps behind a man who is incarcerated, but Hardy manages the see the pieces of the puzzle. There is a new agent on the scene who claims to be a cult specialist, but we don’t know where her loyalties lie because she visit Carroll in prison and without saying a word to the murderer, she hands him a book of Edgar Alan Poe’s work. Is this a sign that she is also under his influence and could play a more sinister role against Hardy?
One thing I forgot to mention in the last review was the going back and forth in years. We retrieve much of the backstory not through only exposition, but also through a non-linear story that goes back to when Carroll was murdering or just after he was arrested. I much rather have the story play out this way because just by exposition alone takes away from darkness of the story. Fox has yet to let up on the brutality of story’s nature and so far I’m grateful for that. We explore Anna (or Emma) and her past. She is an awkward child who grew up disturbed because of her degrading mother. Carroll’s influence was easy on this one.
I can’t way for episode three and I look forward in dissecting more of The Following.
Evil Mail Cal! Check out what is on the chop block for It’s Bloggin’ Evil!
MAIL CALL!
The mail man finally brought me my packages. As I tracked the package, I saw that the package shipped from Pittsburgh, went to Ohio for processing, traveled to Southeastern PA, then to Downingtown, PA which is two minutes from where I reside. However, when I thought the package would arrive the next day, my blood started to boil when I found that it was just processed in Jersey City, NJ. Gah! Five days later (after a weekend), my package finally arrived and I was relieved and now I can share with you what might the content be for future articles.
For the first time on It’s Bloggin’ Evil, I made a video post about what was received. This gives you a clear idea on the content that one might come across. Now not every film in this video will be reviewed here because their genres just aren’t evil enough, but I still think it’s interested to see what people can hunt down in flea markets, yard sales, Movie Stop’s used section, Walmart’s $5 dollar bin and so on. Also, don’t expect just movies on future video posts!
Hopefully you enjoy the video. I can be a dry talker at times, but I’m a bit camera shy and can get nervous. There is some bloopers and humorous remarks in this little over 8 minute video. Thanks again for watching and make sure you return from the grave and check out the evil to come.
Kevin Bacon and the Evil Cult! The Following (TV Series – Ep. 1 Review)
Fox usually has some pretty entertaining shows. I was a religions Hugh Laurie House M.D. follower and Tim Roth’s Lie To Me really had me going until the show was canceled for some, most likely, idiotic reason. After that those two shows were no longer running new episodes, I occasionally watched Family Guy, The Simpsons and Football whenever the Detroit Lions were playing. This new crime/horror thriller show called The Following had aired January 21st and I can’t say I was eager to turn away from Monday night’s The Biggest Loser that airs at the same time that The Following airs. I’m not ashamed to say that my wife and I caught The Following on On Demand and I’m impressed. What a great first episode to set up all the characters and their stories and now I am eager enough to start being a religious follower; however, I will not turn away from watching obese people sweat to death and curse at their trainers for a killer’s killer cult. Something about big people struggling to lose weight has more of an appeal, but thank you On Demand for being so convenient in helping me catching up on my shows (Dexter, American Horror Story: Asylum)!
The Following is about a charismatic and powerfully persuasive English professor Joe Carroll who is also a murderer of young college women to capture the essence of Edgar Alan Poe’s literary work. FBI agent Ryan Hardy tracks down Carroll and single handedly arrests him despite being stabbed in the heart. Years later, Carroll escapes just a week before his execution and now the ex-FBI agent Ryan Hardy has to once again track him down. Before Hardy is able to apprehend once again, Carroll sets forth a plan that involves his loyal followers doing his murderous bidding for him which will tie up loose ends and most certainly involved the wash up agent Hardy.
Kevin Bacon in the first episode had a good first impression, but I didn’t empathize with him. This is not to say that his character will develop more into something more in depth and I can’t wait. My third eye tells me that there will be more to his character and his story. Bacon isn’t a stranger to horror (Tremors, Stir of Echos, Flatliners, Friday the 13th) and his performances usually stands out. I believe in the Bacon. Plus, with being the brain child of Scream series screenwriter Kevin Williamson, I have no doubt that we’ll get some great thrills. Episode one delivered some fantastic and dark scenes, especially with Joe Carroll’s potential serial killer prodigy and his dog experiments. The cast is well rounded out with Shawn Ashmore (Lord of the Rings, Frozen), James Purefoy (Resident Evil) and Natalie Zea.
What I seriously hope to be a brutal series, I kind of have my doubts that this will be anything like American Horror Story. Unlike it’s more edgier little brother F/X, FOX seems to be a tamer, more conservative counterpart and FOX, much like ABC and NBC, have had too many shows that are a hit and a miss and are canceled before you can say seven degrees of Kevin Bacon. I see The Following lasting beyond the first season and I see my ass in bed turning in a couple of days after the airing to catch up! Keep your eye on this one from FOX.
It's Bloggin Evil! 