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An EVIL Auction Decides One Girl’s Self-Inflicted Fate or the Entire School Massacre of Goth Students. “Eating Miss Campbell” reviewed! (Troma Films / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Eating Miss Campbell” on Blu-ray from Troma Films and Refuse Films!

Vegan-goth Beth Connor contemplates suicide daily while attending a high school with a student body that’s cliché to a 90’s horror film and living with her grossly affectionate father and stepmother who are nonchalant and oblivious to her own self-destruction.  When a new, radical, American headmaster is hired at her British school, he creates the “All You Can Eat Massacre” contest that grants one winner a chance at a fully loaded handgun to either kill those of the winner’s choosing or blow their own brains out.  Apart of the accompanying American contingent on school staff, a new English teacher, Miss Campbell, catches Beth’s eye, and she falls heads-over-heels for her.  The contest is Beth’s way out of this clichéd life but her feelings for a morally complicated Miss Campbell and Beth’s sudden urge to consume human flesh puts a small damper on her chances to win the “All You Can Eat Massacre” that’s also highly sought after by a trio of stuck-up, TV themed-named girls aimed to eradicate every freak, geek, and goth on campus grounds.

“Eating Miss Campbell” is the meta-horror-comedy that amplifies stains of the American way, history, and culture in a concurrent saturation of satire.  The Liam Regan film is everything Lloyd Kaufman and Troma Films dreams of in a Troma presented production with a goal to subvert the routine machine of mostly rightwing establishments and conventional, cherry-coated filmmaking.  The United Kingdom film, shot in Yorkshire, is a sequel to Regan’s “My Bloody Banjo” of 2015 but only with a few returning characters in a new situation rather than direct follow-up.  Regan’s sophomore film is the second chapter to what’s being labeled as the Bloody Banjo saga and is a production of Troma, Refused Films, and the “Bad Taste” inspired-company name Dereks Don’t Run Films with Regan and Kaufman producing and Dereks Don’t Run Films’ Danny Naylor serving as executive producer.

A cast made up UK and US actors, “Eating Miss Campbell” marks the return of some familiar faces and character names from Regan’s “My Bloody Banjo” with Vito Trigo (“Return to Nuke ‘Em High Vol. 1,” “Assassinaut”) as Mr. Sawyer now the progun, proviolence American headmaster of Beth Cooper’s school, Laurence R. Harvey (“Human Centipede 2,” “Frankenstein Created Bikers”) as Mr. Sawyer’s indelicately charming number one Clyde Toulon, Dani Thompson (“No Strings 2:  Playtime in Hell,” “Rock Band vs. Vampires’) as Mr. Sawyer’s well-endowed lover with an affection for younger high school boys, and, of course, no Troma production would be complete without a Lloyd Kaufman appearance or cameo as he re-enters the role of Dr.  Samuel Weil for a brief spell on a how-to dispatch oneself.  These returning personalities are integrated into a new grotesque story that surrounds high school goth and aware of the third wall girl Beth Cooper, played by “Book of Monsters” actress, and who has killer bangs, Lyndsey Craine.  Coopers looking to break out of the horror movie cliché by nixing herself before being consumed by the prosaism of it all, and she expositions this all to the camera, talking right to the viewers, to express her discontent and reasoning.  The tongue and cheek affair doesn’t end there with Emily Haigh (“The Lockdown Hauntings”), Sierra Summers, and Michaela Longden (“Book of Monsters”) playing into that 90’s theme by being Clarissa, Sabrina, and Melissa, all different television role iterations of one of the 90’s most iconic actresses Melissa Joan Hart.  The film rounds out with real life couple James Hamer-Morton (“Dead Love”) and Charlie Bond (“The Huntress of Auschwitz”) playing Beth’s parents, Justin A. Martell (“Return to Nuke ‘Em High Volume 1”) as school board member Tusk Everbone, Annabella Rich (“Powertool Cheerleaders vs the Boyband of the Screeching Dead”) as Nancy Applegate the bloodthirsty racist, Alexander J. Skinner as the girl chaser jock Ethan Rembrandt (Hotel Paranoia), and Lala Barlow in the titular role of English teacher, flesh eater Miss Campbell.

“Eating Miss Campbell” is completely satirical, completely outrageous, complete overtop, and a Troma contemporary classic.  Director Liam Regan understands the Lloyd Kaufman’s market audience to provide an unfiltered, unfettered independent production careening with uncontrollable momentum of bloody cannibalism, screwball antics, and topless gratuitousness and, in turn, solidifies himself as a Troma archetype director.  “Eating Miss Campbell” is a practical effects believer that implements squibs, prosthetics, and buckets of stainable blood to use in borrowed locations and while gruesome aspects work for the film, the pacing and storytelling is quite patchwork.  Covid-19, like the virus did for most films in production prior to 2020 lockdown, halted Regan’s progressive flow and caused a year-and-half, 18-month gap, that required additional weeks’ worth of shots, disrupting the flow in story and in character. There’s not a ton of filler to build history, storylines, or even give a moment to connect the pieces and absorb Regan’s revolving madcap that include references to cherry-picked scenes from “My Bloody Banjo” and the whole meta concept that beleaguers audiences with rants and rancorous tudes about reliving a certain period in time, such as a cliched 90’s horror movie for example, or a culture bastardized by violence and grotesque, maligned shapeshifters, and this becomes more than providing protagonist insight and protest propaganda no matter which way you slice and rearrange the story, and that goes without saying that’s most of Troma’s cuckoo-tastic catalogue.

Troma Films and Refuse Films proudly presents “Eating Miss Campbell” onto a Lloyd Kaufman introductory stated unrated director’s cut, Hi-Def Blu-ray. The AVC encoded, 1080p, BD25 presents the film in a 1.85:1 aspect ratio. A feature and a trunk load of extras on the lower shelf of capacity format, keeping in tune with most Troma home releases, shouldn’t surprise or phase the physical media aficionados to know there are compression issues along the darker tones with banding and some posterization, smoothing out textures in poor lighting. When details do emerge, they’re noticeable and visually enriching a right-to-rebel indie production without going overboard into the clarified butter that is major studio glossiness and precision. Often heavy shadow contrasting doesn’t dispel the vivid and appeasing coloring scheme that pops intermittently and skin tones, though skin texture in general bleeds into the adjacent shade, appear about as natural as initially captured without filter, gels, or post work enhancements. The British/American English track in a lossy Dolby Digital 5.1 surround sound mix lessens what should be a quite robust hitting of every audible mark. The scale of “Eating Miss Campbell” is quite expansive from start to finish, carrying over into a number of interior and exterior sets, as well as a lucrative range of diverging, differentiating noisemakers but what’s at hand does the job adequately with plenty of emphasis on the more foolish sense of humor. Depth is rarely utilized in what’s mostly medium-to-closeup scenes and replaced with just a level playing field loading of dialogue, which is clean and clear. An English Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo is also available. Troma releases are good for special features and “Eating Miss Campbell” is another testament to a haul of extra content, including an audio commentary by director Liam Regan, editor Jack Hayes, and foley artist Finn Brackett, a 7 Days of Hell behind the scenes documentary that looks at the making-of the film with the post-COVID pickup shots, deleted scenes and outtakes, a gag highlight reel, raw b-roll footage, even more behind-the-scenes footage that’s nearly an hour long, the FrightFest premiere, cast interviews, VFX reel, the Troma radiation march against pollution, Troma in Time Square takes a look at Troma’s streaming service, Abbie Harper’s music video Tromatized, and the trailer. There are also a couple of prologue introductions with a Ukraine support intro and a Lloyd Kaufman as character Dr. Samuel Weil with intercut video of director Liam Regan. The traditional Amaray has a dim cover with colorful lettering in a compilation of characters overtop the high school. The disc is equally black with the same colorful lettering and a black and white penciled razor blade encircled by stark red blood. The region free release has a runtime of 94 minutes.

Last Rites: “Eating Miss Campbell” has edge that favors, or even flavors, Troma’s taste with a high school shooting, cannibalistic, no holds barred, teacher-student affair alternate societal universe that’s tough to digest but easy to chew.

“Eating Miss Campbell” on Blu-ray from Troma Films and Refuse Films!

Wake Up and Get Lost in the EVIL Flowers. “Terror Firma” reviewed! (Dark Arts Entertainment / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Terror Firma.” The First Dark Arts Entertainment TItle Now Available!

Having no place to go during the middle of an unexplained, national Marshall Law event where citizens must remain indoors or else face imprisonment, Lola bunks in with her fellow adopted brother Louis and his bizarre tenant Cage. Though Lola and Louis have not seen each other in years, they quickly bond to deflect Cage’s peculiar persona that has honed in on Lola. After receiving a government issued drop shipment of food, Lola discovers a seed packet wedged in between the boxes. Her curiosity sows a single seed that results a hole in the ground next day, a hole that produces a jelly that conforms to their individualized favorite flavors, and they become addicted to its intoxication, but when Louis disappears, seemingly trapped between dimensions and communicating underneath an alien flower where the hole use to be, Lola is stuck alone with Cage who’s more and more becoming twisted by the transcendental jelly.

A pun play on the idea of terra firma, defined as the Earth’s ground or surface, “Terror Firma” is a prismatic and cosmic hell hole of a psychological and interdimensional thriller from writer-director Jake Macpherson. Macpherson, a regular music video director of photography and a short film filmmaker, debuts his 2023 feature film with a broader, elephantine story under a bantam budget, reduced to a singular location, and uses the idea of terra firma as the basic premise for natural Earth horror blended with the pandemic confinement of COVID-19 in which the story was conceived and how that isolation acceptance, thralldom from authoritarian instruction, and broken family bridges originate the internal dysfunctions outward toward a destructive, maddening outcome. “Terror Firma” is a production of the Los Angeles based Capture Theory company with Macpherson, John Angeli, Forrest Clark, Theo Linder, Katie Mamie, and Bryan Wilson serving as mostly first-time producers.

Keeping in line with a low-cost production, the story takes root at mostly one location, Lou’s rundown, multi-story house with creaky old floors and compact rooms, extending the location beyond the walls and into the house’s minute front yard where a pile of dirt with a strange jelly hole metamorphizing into an even stranger looking flower becomes the catalyst of weirdness.  Thai-American actress Faye Tamasa is Lola, the weary sister of Louis, played by Burt Thakur, who invites her to come stay with him during the beginning of a nationwide shutdown of unexplained purpose.  Lola and Louis, both once orphans and adopted by the same parents, haven’t seen each other in years and have rarely spoke.  Repeated motifs of isolation, such as the extension of their orphanage, and an awkward disconnect between them display their relationship instable without having an obvious clash to outright scream incompatibility between the two who don’t share bloodline but grew up together.  There’s still an affection quality between them but it is damaged.  And, then, in comes the third wheel that becomes the wedge between Lola and Louis’s relationship rekindling.  Cage, a dodgy spiritual pseud and played with monotonic sleaziness by Robert Brettenaugh (“Strange Blood”), interjects his numinous nonsense as a façade to impress Lola but as Lola sees right through him, Cage diverts his attention to the Jelly that drops the façade and unleashes his true spirit, a sociopath with an obsession.  The trio works to relay a significance in loneliness and isolating desperation in a sensationalized, supernatural way in finding a pathway through the lockdown blues.   Rounding out the cast with a small role that wouldn’t even be considered turning the trio into a quartet is Max Carpenter as a former love interest to Lola.

Not to be confused with or have any similarities to Lloyd Kaufman’s 1999 burlesque slasher titled “Terror Firmer,” Macpherson’s debut is born and bred out of the woes of a global pandemic by formulating a fantastical escape from the reality as we knew it before everything went into an abrupt lockdown.  The sudden stoppage of the world and social gatherings certainly began a snowball effect of emotional distress, some more external than internal that gradually drew to head an uneasy amount of stir crazy.  For the trio of roommates, and like most of us during the beginning of the lockdown, we’re excited and thrill for a break in the norm but as time marches on, those you’re stuck with without anywhere to go is an unusual alienating feeling.  “Terror Firma” expediates the sullied sensation to cosmic proportions with gateways to upside down worlds that mirror our own and develop cultish acolytes to the Jelly’s mystical powers.  Granted, no much of Jake Macpherson’s story makes a whole ton of sense and is very open to interpretation, but one possible avenue I’ve concluded is that the Jelly is a convenient, sweet-tasting poison that one can easily fall for its pseudo-tranquility and limitless euphoria to solve all our immediate problems as a quick fix but ultimately it’s our will and the power within ourselves to reconnect, re-establish, and revitalize what’s missing from ourselves.  Macpherson’s hallucinogenic rabbit hole of a thriller is an abstract course on preservation of relationship and connections while overwhelmed with obstacles.

Prominent genre filmmaker Brian Yuzna, well-known for his behind-the-camera roles on Stuart Gordon’s “Re-Animator” and “Dolls,” as well as his own directorial credits “Society” and “Beyond Re-Animator” to revolutionize the way we see horror in the 80s and 90s, teams up with John Penney, writer of staple cult classic “The Kindred” and “Return of the Living Dead III,” to form a new at-home physical media label known as Dark Arts Entertainment.  “Terror Firma” is the first title to be released by the joint partnership with MVD Visual for distribution.  The AVC encoded, 1080p high definition, BD50 houses the widescreen, 2.39:1, aspect ratio presented blossoming madness.  Picture image varies with the refracting coloring within the polychromatic lenses and in contrast to the post grading of a slightly coarse tone.   Yet, that isn’t to say quality is subpar and we’re treated to a fine digital image compressed without compromising the encoding on a double layered disc.  The English LPCM Stereo 2.0 offers a lossless reproduction of true audio fidelity and while not be a powerful mix course isolated layers through individualized channel outputs, “Terror Firma” isn’t necessarily powerful in range.  There’s only a handful of psychedelic moments of discord tunes and notes to emphasizes the crossing between dimensions and a few minor key moments to evoke fear out of Cage’s madness but other than that, “Terror Firma” specializes mostly in exposition and silently witnessed moments.  Dialogue is clean, clear, and prominently placed with depth dialed in where needed, especially when Lou begins to speak beyond the plane.  English subtitles are available for the feature only.  Inside the bonus material, a second version, an extended director’s cut, of the film is available and does not have the subtitle option.  Also included is Jake Macpherson’s commentary with main feature, a behind the scenes gallery, and the theatrical trailer.  The maiden Dark Arts release package is standard fare with a traditional Blu-ray casing containing no inserts or other tangible material ride alongs.  Release cover art leaves enough to the imagination to be lured in with Faye Tamasa crawling through a dirt hole and coming upon the alien flower.  The not rated feature has a runtime of 84 minutes and is encoded region free.

Last Rites:  “Terror Firma” is a bold first impression for not only writer-director Jake Macpherson as his debut full-length feature film but also for Brian Yuzna and John Penney inaugurating their distribution label with a film that might not strike a likeable chord with most but will certainly leave a relatable lasting impression on us all. 

“Terror Firma.” The First Dark Arts Entertainment TItle Now Available!

The Slammer is Full of Correctional Officer EVIL in “Lust for Freedom” reviewed!

Posted by Steven Lewis on

The Jailed Chicks “Lust for Freedom” on Blu-ray!

Broken by the violent death of her partner, who she was also engaged to marry, after a drug bust goes south, undercover officer Gillian Kaites abandons law enforcement and drives across country in an internal turmoiled mess.  She’s pulled over by a Georgia County cop after she aids a frantic woman fleeing to escape two men in a black van.  Framed for narcotics possession by the corrupt officer, Gillian is drugged and locked away in the County’s women’s penitentiary overseen a strong-handed matron and an unscrupulous warden who dabbles in prostitution trafficking, drug smuggling, and even the occasional snuff filmmaking.  Back into a cellblock corner, Gillian must defend herself against the warden’s goons, protect other girls also falsely incarcerated, and lean into the sympathetic ear of the same corrupt cop that framed her after voicing his years of disgust with the warden’s malfeasance.

Part II of our bamboozled behind bars and following the 1986 examination of Eric Karson’s military simulation turned enslavement “Opposing Force,” is our next feature helmed by another director named Eric, notably Eric Louzil, with “Lust for Freedom.”  The debut film of Louzil, who went on to helm “Class of Nuke ‘Em High Part II and Part II” for Lloyd Kauman and Michael Herz of Troma Entertainment as well as slaving over standalone horror and sleazy schlockers in “Bikini Beach Race” and “Night of the Beast,” was also the first feature penned by the American-born, UCLA grad with a penchant for low-budget lewidies, cowritten alongside the “Shadows Run Black” writing duo, Craig Kusaba and Duke Howard.  With the working title of “Georgia County Lockup,” which in actuality the film was shot in various California and Nevada locations, such as Ely, Nevada, “Lust for Freedom” is an 8 x 8 cell of nudity, violence, and corruption under the co-production companies of Mesa Films and Troma Entertainment, with the latter reediting the original script and adding ADR adlibs to apply a sexed up and Troma-fied integration of product into their independent collection.  Louzil and Laurel A. Koernig produce the film with Troma bigwigs Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz as executive producers.

“Lust for Freedom” has many eccentric characters with many assorted plotlines in what is essentially an all women battle royal brawl in the cat-scratchin calaboose.  Stirring up trouble like a piece of scrap metal lodged in the gears of a well-oiled machine is tall and beautiful former cop, Gillian Kaites.  Played by Melanie Coll in her only known role, Kaites is only the bear in the bees’ nest, forced into confinement under false pretenses and to be subjugated by the likes of a wayward officialdom with lust in their eyes, greed in their pockets, and a disdain for disobedience.  Coll’s a bit flat footed with her performance and her Karate Kokutsu Dachi stance could use some improvement, but the tall, muscular, curly haired and light blonde actress can wield a multi-round popping automatic rifle with authority.  Stark against her Amazonian physique, not in a hard pressed and sexualized way, is main antagonist is the unbecoming Southern gentleman Warden Maxwell under the balding and overweight guise Howard Knight, but Kaites is more in tune against the procrustean penitentiary matron Ms. Pusker and Judi Trevor gives a Hell in a cell pastiche of early fascist women of Roger Corman produced WIP films, enforcing her will with prison muscle in the miscreant tough Vicky (Elizabeth Carlisle, “Evil Acts”) and the oversized guerilla (professional wrestler Dee “Matilda the Hun” Booher, “Spaceballs,” “DeathStalker II”).  Ultimately, Kaites sees her only path to escape through the very same person that wrongly confines her in the first place.  William J. Kulzer (“Class of Nuke ‘Em High Part II:  Subhumanoid Meltdown”) doesn’t quite fit the corrupted bill of Sheriff Coale, a mild manner and seemingly reasonable officer who goes with the despicable flow of sex trafficking amongst other indelicacies.  Yet, maybe that’s the purpose in Kulzer’s character, to be conflicted by the choices he and his callous cohort has made that made him stick out as the least repulsive individual behind the concreate and metal barred big house.  “Lust for Freedom” rounds out the cast with Donna Lederer, John Tallman, George Engelson, Rob Rosen, Shea Porter, Rich Crews, Raymond Oceans, Elizabeth Carroll, Lor Stickel, and Joan Tixei.

Gratuitous, full-frontal lesbian sex.  Yes, “Lust for Freedom” appeals to the very definition of its own title, like many other WIP productions and though a core element to the integrity of the subgenre, the creamy smoothness of two curvaceous, naked bodies getting it on shouldn’t always be the main selling point.  Luckily, Louzil ponies up more salacious material for his pinks in the clink caper.  An elaborate spiderweb of activity balloons and pulsates outward from the moment Kaites crosses path with an evening-dressed escapee being chased by a scary looking Native American and his sociopathic hooligan partner in a black van.  “Lust for Freedom” may be hammy and cheesy but what it’s definitely not is dull in its multifaceted approach to expose character layers.  Some characters grade more toward deviancy, such as Warden Maxwell and Ms. Pusker, while others are lifted toward a more redemptive means, such as with Sheriff Coale; that shepherd “Lust for Freedom” into a culminating jailbreak.  The narrative doesn’t necessarily focus around Kaites but she’s on a redemption arc to dig her out of a despair pit and into a fight worth fighting for purpose after the death of her finance, set up in the opening act.  As she evades the Vickey’s directed infringement to rough up the new girl, Kaites takes under her wing a fright clink chick named, another wrongly accused prisoner after being taken wandering the road, a theme that is a reoccurring motif from Kaites to Donna in thinking the young women can manage the world and their problems on their own accord but at a cost. However, whatever semblance is left of Louzil’s original script has likely been lost once Troma revamped it into the finished product you see today. Riddled with choppy cuts and incoherent segues, we have to wonder about Kaites’ role that may have been transmuted into a lesser core commodity in the final product.

Troma Entertainment releases a high-def, Blu-ray release of “Lust for Freedom.” The AVC encoded, 1080p resolution, widescreen release, in a 1.78:1 aspect ratio, compressed from its original aspect ratio of 1.85:1. Lloyd Kaufman mentions Louzil had shot the film on 16 mm and Troma subsequently blew up the negative to a 35 mm print that reframes the transfer for projection. Image-wise, the picture appears relatively clean albeit a plush grain and a few visible 16 mm cigarette burns with little-to-no age wear or exposure issue and the BD25 storage format has capacity aplenty to render an adequately compressed image with hardly any loss to the quality. Since the quality is heavily granulated, definitely no DNR implemented, the compression doesn’t suffer from a lack of a sharper, restored image. The audio is an English language Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo can be echoey at times, as if the boom is catching warehouse reflection, but dialogue does topple in an appropriately laid out track mix that’s intertwined with hair metal band Grim Reaper’s titular “Lust for Freedom” single. We don’t get a ton of depth in the close quarters of the prison set but neither do we receive any depth in the exteriors either, sustaining most of the volume in a forefront stasis. Troma adds spotty ADR to kitschy up to Troma’s ludicrous level and its quite evident like a sore thumb that doesn’t quite match the ingrained audio mix. There are no subtitles available. Extras include the original DVD intro by Lloyd Kaufman, which also plays automatically at the startup of the feature, a directory’s commentary by Eric Louzil that is asynchronous with the feature in what is an approx. one-minute delay behind the Louzil’s retrospect, the original theatrical trailer, an interview with Lloyd Kaufman, a brief, brief clip of Eli Roth’s encouragement to just go and do a movie to the best of your ability, a Troma-themed showcase of one of their more modern Tromettes – Mercedes the Muse, the Radiation March, Gizzard Face 2: The Return of Gizzard Face, which has been on a slew of Troma’s releases over the past year, and coming attractions from the independent company. The Blu-ray comes in a tradition snapper with a guard tower, barbed wired, and Gillian Kaites with a semi-auto in her grip and barely cladded and torn clothes. No insert inside the case and the disc pressed art is the same as the cover illustration. This Troma release comes unrated, is region free, and has a runtime of 94 minutes. Plenty of desire for “Lust for Freedom,” busty babes behind bars barely bores and this vintage Troma keeps the WIP lacquer wet with self-satisfactory sadism and sexual spiciness.

The Jailed Chicks “Lust for Freedom” on Blu-ray!

Caribbean EVIL is No Vacation. “Zombie Island Massacre” reviewed! (Troma Films / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Zombie Island Massacre” on Blu-ray here at Amazon.com

American vacationers in Jamaica book tickets to tour guide Chumlee Jones’s Sunshine Tours. Their destination is Santa Maria Island for a rarely seen religious voodoo ritual. After the unsettling experience involving live goat sacrifices and the necromancing of the dead, the tourists become stranded when the bus driver has vanished from his post. With no transportation to the seaport, a menace lurks amongst the darkness and is picking them off by-one-by. With no other options, the afeared excursionists trek through island thicket in search for a passed remote house but will they survive the perilous journey with an unseen murderous predator or predators camouflaged in the dense foliage?

Jamaica isn’t all about rum punch and ganja, mon. Voodoo is a big part of Jamaican culture. It’s so much a part of the Caribbean Island culture, the practice is a certified religion complete with voodoo priests and public ceremonies to exact a range of obeah spells – most for good, few for spiritual bedlam. For “Zombie Island Massacre,” a theme of mystic voodoo pitches the tale of two sides of every coin as the unknown and the usual differ from one’s own customs begins to swirl unnatural thoughts of fear, trepidation, and censure while other malevolent forces behind the veil may be at work. Also known under the working title of “The Last Picnic,” “Zombie Island Massacre,” a rather arbitrary and common structured title of choice, is the released Jamaican-shot inchmeal killer thriller from director John N. Carter, an industry editor with his one and only directorial credit to his name. The script is penned by Logan O’Neill and William Stoddard based off the O’Neill and David Broadnax concept story. Broadnax serves as producer alongside executive producers Abraham Dabdoub and Dennis Stephenson on a feature that undoubtedly was inspired by the 1982, George Romero influenced, Marion Girolami directed “Zombi Holocaust” in what is arguably influenced by title only as a marketing cash-in of the early 80’s Zombie success.

Stories that progress with a group of unfortunate souls trapped in a dire straits situation and there’s no way out but unwisely toward the path of danger in hope of salvation are some of my favorite types of threatening circumstances.  Think “Poseidon Adventure.”  Think “Predator.”  Think “Deep Rising.”  Any movie where a desperate group of diversified dog chow characters have to move from point A to point B without being swallowed by the darkness around them is great fun in its pick off pattern.  Archetypes of this linear lap through hell can be fairly conventional with its persona of characters where you have the strong hero type, the gorgeous level-headed love interest, the angry shmuck, the slower-downer, and there might even be a cultural token character to round the group out plus a red-shirted body or two for good carnage measure.  By design, there’s a need for these stereotypes and “Zombie Island Massacre” has a hit-and-miss, middle-of-the-road batting average with its cast of characters, beginning with a shared lead man role for Tom Cantrell and David Broadnax.  With his idea for the story and serving as producer, it makes a lot of sense why Broadnax co-ops the lead as a lone wolf, tough as nails photojournalist.  Cantrell, on the other hand, is just another pretty tall boy who becomes more-or-less a babysitter of the group while Broadnax stays behind to leave directional notes for lag behinds and to keep the retirees company when their tickers go South in the heat of turmoil and walking uphill.  This turns the co-op into more of a dog and pony show where the pony just stands there and dog runs around doing most of the entertaining.   Diane Clayre Holub is Cantrell’s love interest as a painter on holiday in Jamaica and the character is more than just reasonable and a pretty face that comes unexpectedly apparent in the third act of attacks.  Broadnax, Cantrell, and Clayre do not bring the star power to “Zombie Island Massacre” and that trend continues with the fourth top billed Rita Jenrette who brings more than just her pretty face to the table too in more of a full-bodied contextualized kind of way who ends up sliding into, if not encroaching into, Clayre’s assigned love interest role without a lick of love.  “Zombie Island Massacre’s” cast fills out with Ian McMillan, Harriet Rawlings, Emmett Murphy, Bruce Sterman, Deborah Jason, Tom Fitzsimmons, Christopher Ferris, Kristina Marie Wetzel, Debbie Ewing, Dennis Stephenson, George Peters, and the “Ghostbusters II” “The Titanic Just Arrived”-guy Ralph Monaco. 

Big kudos to story creators David Broadnax and Logan O’Neill for delivering a narrative with an unpredictable twist that immerses you deep into the voodooist rituals and gets your blood pumped for the monikered title to deliver flesh-eating, blood-thirsty zombies only to be hoodwinked into a genre trap and a good one at that too.  Sneaky and subtle are the hints that not everything is what it seems on the island that hits you like a flashbang grenade when the truth is revealed, shocking the sensory system with a welcome voltage of sleight of hand.  I never saw it coming though I will say that the creature or creatures roaming the woods initially looked shoddy draped in blue trash bags with patchwork foliage sticking out but remaining relatively obscure from view that implored more of a slasher design than one of the undead one. However, “Zombie Island Massacre” is too by far a good film with precarious burlesques that result in a tacky feigning of thrills and chills hubbub. Only a handful of kills rendered a golden touch, such as the slow-motion bashing in of a man’s head with a large stick is effectively gruesome, but yet lots of the kills are done off screen and implied which can be a deficit for a slasher-like story that takes pleasure in and makes whoopee of the big bloody death scene. Some kills are even half-hearted in their execution. For example, one unlucky tourist has his head chopped off with a machete in slow-motion and audience has full view of the entire act; yet the machete snags on the initial slice point into the neck but the head still severs cleanly. The scene, likely needed to be done in one take, makes the cut…pun intended. “Zombie Island Massacre” wiggles peacockishly into the realm of island horror with a mawkish audacity but the wild pragmatic pivot is worth every second of humble hoodooism.

Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz presents a Troma team release with “Zombie Island Massacre” on a new region free, uncut, director’s cut Blu-ray. The HD 1.78:1 aspect presented John N. Carter film has favorable surface arrayal with natural grain off the 35mm film stock that comes with very little, yet still noticeable unobtrusively, vertical scratches and white dust specks. Skin hues appear natural, island bush backgrounds are lush despite some contrast issues deep into the background, and no blatant touchup enhancements awkward stand out, confirming that the transfer was in good shape to begin with and compression upon the BD25, churning out an average of 30Mbps, didn’t cause a technical gaff. The English language mirrors the Vinegar Syndrome release with a DTS-HD MA 2.0 and the audio isn’t as near flawlessly fortunate as the image transfer with voice trailing hissing and lots of noticeable crackling and white noise interference which can eat into the already soft and muted dialogue from time-to-time and downsize the details of audio clarity. Plenty of range of sound effects to go around in the story but the depth just isn’t there to elevate it. Harry Manfredini’s score is essentially a reworked composition of “Friday the 13th” and if you close your eyes and listen, you’ll nearly hear the ch ch ch, ha ha ah and have visions of a headless Mrs. Voorhees and a hockey mask stuck in your head. Special features are mostly Troma-related as expected with any Troma Team release. There’s Toxie and Uncle Lloyd smoking ganja introduction at the beginning of the feature. In sectionalized bonus menu option, the film’s theatrical trailer, a promo reel of all the kills under Harry Manfredini’s original “Friday the 13th” score, a 3-part special effects tutorial plucked from various Troma videos through the years, a super-short film “Blood Stab,” and other Troma feature trailers. “Zombie Island Massacre” is an excursion to remember lined and studded with Caribbean macabre that sink tapered teeth into the skin only to have just barely missed the pulsating vein for the kill.

“Zombie Island Massacre” on Blu-ray here at Amazon.com

Beware! EVIL is Afoot in a Small Town! “I Scream on the Beach” reviewed! (Darkside Releasing / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

First you Scream, then you DIE!  “I Scream On the Beach” available to buy at Amazon!

Mellow Coast is a small, quiet fishing town typically free from big city violence.  When a dead body shows up on the Mellow Coast’s shoreline, a past of enigmatic and thought solved disappearance cases return to haunt Emily whose father was murdered right in front of her when she was little, yet the local police department ruled her father’s case as simply a father-husband leaving his family when no evidence of blood was recovered, and his car was missing.  The murders and disappearances are connected to a now defunct large corporation working on shady experiments and as Emily digs deeper into her father’s case, a light is shed upon the dastardly transgressions of a shifty, under handing corporation as well as more bodies, including her close friends, turn up dead around town. Pieces all the clues together with the help of a keen detective desperate to solve a case no other officer wants to touch, Emily comes face-to-face with an unsuspecting, tightly knitted killer.

As if slasher films are already tough enough in trying to unlock and solve who the mysterious homicidal wolf in sheep’s clothing is before the big, blood reveal, the 2020 horror-comedy “I Scream on the Beach!” surely takes the cake as the impossible and no-win kobayashi maru test of the slasher genre. Hailing from United Kingdom with a retro 80’s VHS veneer, the Alexander Churchyard and Michael Holiday written-and-directed parodying red herring seeks to be deceptive and as cryptic as logically possible with a masked serial killer storyline stretching over a span of 10 years that culminates to an illogical and shockingly socking finale. “I Scream on the Beach!” is the first feature from the filmmakers working as a pair and as individuals, but Churchyard and Holiday have been skimming together that micro thin layer of the horror stratosphere with college short film works, such as “Fragments” and “The Ratman of Southend,” the latter referencing Churchyard and Holiday hometown of Southend-on-Sea in Southern Essex. The duo cofounded TIS Films Limited during their production of “I Scream on the Beach!” with Churchyard and Holiday as producers alongwith Claire Bowman and executive producer Hill Burton (“RoboWoman, “Slasher House 2”).

The story follows Mellow Coast local Emily, her friends, including a bashful big city transplant with a crush on her, and Detective Kincaid embroiled in a 10-year mystery beginning with the murder of Emily’s father (Rob Shaw) or maybe even beginning with the murder of Dr. Lloyd (Lloyd Kaufman, “The Toxic Avenger”). Hard to tell as Dr. Lloyd expositional death is brought up as background plot painting an unscrupulous picture against a devious, experiment-conduction corporation. In her first feature film and first of many productions with the Churchyard and Holiday team, Hannah Paterson is placed in the final girl role of a VHS decorated slasher that has her twisting and turning from the pub to every which way to find corpses stabbed, gutted, and decapitated in the search for the truth about her father. Her friends, played by Jamie Evans, Rosie Kingston, Ross Howard, and Reis Daniel, are the trope typical asshole, hot girl, filmic nerd, and good guy love interest, in that respective order, are definitely defined to bring out the shine around this specimen of the slasher genre. Lurking in the shadows, as a contemporary scream queen of such films like Debbie Rochen’s “Model Hunger” and “Cute Little Buggers” starring alongside the iconic Caroline Munro, is the Australian born, English raised actress Dani Thompson as a snarky bar keep and aspiring actress who pokes her into the picture as the sort of easy girl and easy target for other characters to love-and-hate, especially amongst Emily and her friends in a mixed bag of feelings toward her role of bitchy Paula. Martin W. Payne (“Toxic Schlock”) as the staunch, Mellow Coast chief inspector, Tess Gustard as Emily’s combative mother, Will Jones (“Terror at the Black Tree Forest”) as the dispassionate inspector, Andrea Sandell (“Patient Zero”) as a fake nun, Chris Linnat-Scott as the creepy Dr. A, and Mark Keegan in a surprising reprising role fill out the cast.

Churchyard and Holiday embark on a VHS faceplate journey with their inaugural film complete with faux tracking lines, low-quality picture, lo-fi audio, and rounding out the semblance with schlocky f/x composition and content.  “I Scream on the Beach!” is a non sequitur, yet perfectly fitting, title for a seemingly beach-themed slasher that evolves erratically and radically as the story progresses into an eyebrow raising “…what?”  I would also dare to say that the acting isn’t the best but rather reflects the modeled era of straight-to-video indie low-budget horror with mild ostentation exaggeration with a character or two grounding the film with relative gravity from floating toward a too far-gone outcome. “I Scream on the Beach” is a kind of film that sits in the nosebleed section of the video rental and physical media aisle (if there are such things as video rental or physical stores anymore) but, sometimes, the cheap seats can be the section where anything goes, and no one will ever know about what happens near the roof. I’m not saying the Churchyard-Holiday production is a raunchy, nudity-laden, immodest, grindhouse peepshow worthy of the now ousted 42nd Street; in fact, “I Scream on the Beach!” mounts a tame and respectable horror-comedy that, like the cheap seats, is nothing to be ashamed of because in the end, they both provide entertainment on a budget.

Continuing to pluck out atypical wild horror genre films, Darkside Releasing distributes “I Scream on the Beach!” onto Blu-ray home video as part of the UK release collection. Keeping with the VHS effect, the stretched 1:78:1 aspect ratio feels to mimic only the very summary of details that continue into employing other SOV gags such as tracking lines, as I mentioned above, as well as a flat coloring palette. The English language PCM 2.0 continues to stay the antiquated technical course, taking the joke all the way, with a badly dubbed and ambient filled lossy audio tracks that keep with the kitschy package. The unrated, 87-minute, full director’s cut release comes with retrograded previews, such as “Mask of Thorn,” optional cast and crew introductions to the film, an audio commentary, complete short films “The Decorator” and “The Hiker” that were briefly spotlighted in the story, and promo spots from the Music and Film Festival. “I Scream on the Beach!” falls above being better than low-rung horror that’ll still knock your socks off, literally, with surreptitious corporation experiments insidiously embedding its clandestine claws into small town denizens in the dark and being stalked.

First you Scream, then you DIE!  “I Scream On the Beach” available to buy at Amazon!