Tag Archives: Reviews

Ancient Evil: “Carrie” review (2013)

Posted by charlottekenvyn1994 on

This 2013 horror film featuring Chloë Grace Moretz, unbeknownst to me when I watched this, is a remake of Stephen Kings’ 1976 film Carrie (which further derived from his 1974 novel of the same name).

Above: “Tampon scene” (This is the scene in which Carrie begins her first ever period. She absolutely freaks out and bizarrely has no idea that this is a completely natural occurrence. She screams and spreads (period) blood everywhere. Instead of helping her, her fellow classmates prefer to throw sanitary towels and tampons are her.)

Above: “Tampon scene”
(This is the scene in which Carrie begins her first ever period. She absolutely freaks out and bizarrely has no idea that this is a completely natural occurrence. She screams and spreads (period) blood everywhere. Instead of helping her, her fellow classmates prefer to throw sanitary towels and tampons are her.)


I didn’t plan to watch this film, I just happened to stumble upon it on Netflix one night. I had a come over completely absent-minded and didn’t realise at first that it was a remake. I haven’t seen the original yet but I know Stephen Kings style and that it is a widely-known film, successfully kick-starting Stephens’ career. I love Chloë Grace Moretz in both Kick-Ass 1 and 2 because she performs her role flawlessly, seemingly born to play a bad-ass. This is the reason I put the film on with no hesitation. Chloe plays Carrie, a young girl who has a manically religious mother (Julianne Moore) and is constantly ostracized by her fellow students.
This is Carrie just after she unleashed hell and killed the majority of her school year. She was voted prom queen but her wonderment soon turned to disbelief when she was covered in pigs’ blood. Her path of destruction continues.

This is Carrie just after she unleashed hell and killed the majority of her school year. She was voted prom queen but her wonderment soon turned to disbelief when she was covered in pigs’ blood. Her path of destruction continues.


The film focuses entirely on Carrie being a victim of severe bullying (and of course her bizarre mother and their uncertain relationship). Throughout the film she is being viciously bullied and much to her surprise she discovers she has the power of telekinesis. Her powers are gradually used for evil until a prom night prank forces her to unleash all of the sinister and hellish destruction she can manage. She further kills her mother and herself. I was hugely disappointed with the film and I am amongst thousands who believe this film was a colossal mistake. Although Chloe definitely delivers in the blood-shedding scenes, she hasn’t shown me that she’s capable of playing a vulnerable character. Her timid scenes are not convincing at all, to say the least. The fact that they altered the storyline so Carries powers are shown over time totally dissipates the suspense of the entire film. A story about a teenage girl who doesn’t fit in, many people can relate to this… but that doesn’t make us like it. I can’t really comment on whether it was bad casting or a bad re-make because I just don’t know. I also don’t know why in the final scene Carrie reveals to Sue Snell (Gabriella Wilde) that she (Sue) is pregnant with a girl. Telekinesis is the ability to move objects without physically touching them. I don’t know the explanation they’d give for her having physic powers too. In conclusion I do suggest you watch it to make your own opinion but this comes with the warning for you not to expect much.

The House that Holds Evil! “Slasher House” review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on

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Here is an entertaining little piece of UK slasher horror that will sure be appreciated as well as thrilling. “Slasher House” had finished filming and was wrapped up in a nice bow two years ago but, finally, made an appearance on DVD just last year in the UK. A whole another year later and “Slasher House” hits retail shelves this past Tuesday in the States – about damn time – courtesy of Sector 5 Films. In all honestly, the good old USA missed out on releasing “Slasher House” as this English film’s crew and cast were the highlights of turning a run of the mill survival film into a great little unknown gem of a movie.

Red wakes up stark naked in a cell of a grungy rundown prison. Plagued with amnesia, she can’t remember who she is let alone how she how she got here. When her cell door opens up, Red discovers she isn’t alone as their other captives, but these captives are not so innocent. Within these iron bars and walls, she is trapped with notorious serial killers who are being released from the cells one by one. With no way out in sight, Red must elude the killers as they hunt for her in the corridors. There are more sinister means behind this game, but she must go through the players first to find out why she’s here and who she really is.
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Leading lady Eleanor James was labeled one of Britain’s new age scream queens. Though she delivers no real scream here in “Slasher House,” James’ character resembles more of Milla Jovovich’s Alice character in the Resident Evil series – more so with the red dress, calm demeanor, and feistiness with less kung fu, ESP abilities. Her performance as Red has you rooting for her all the way because she is the first and last “last girl” in “Slasher House” against a handful of murderous sonuvabitches.
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Each notorious slasher has a trademark and a unique personality – a child killer, an operator, a brute, a dual personality – leaving no room for boring characters. Their backstories are briefly told in a flashback anecdote just short enough to give you their whole persona. The plot is a bit more complex than it’s unique cast of characters. I like the idea of bringing a lineup of serial killer allstars into a dirty old prison and letting them face off. I wish there was more of that. Half of “Slasher House” was trying to find an exit and the other half was escaping the maniacs. No real dull moments plagued the film, but with a premise that involves a battle royal amongst the worst of the worst, you would think you’d be up against a blood spattered wall and heads would be constantly rolling. The other half of my mind says the slowed down story goes better with a film like this to build the characters up for a great and glorious downfall.
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“Slasher House” plays out like a graphic novel and could be well turned into one. A great one in fact. “Slasher House” also delivers a twist ending that you won’t see coming until the very end! Speaking of the movie’s end, the open ending doesn’t explain much to the character’s situation. One could only guess to the purpose behind the game, but none of the plans are plainly explained.
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“Slasher House” is a must buy from Sector 5 Films. Two years have I waited for a film like this that could entertain me on a budget while pulling off major production status. I’m very impressed by director MJ Dixon and his vision and his future is bright with indie pictures and possibly get a gig in Hollywood if he keeps turning out good films. If you have a fear of clowns you may want to stay away; other than that, pick this DVD up that was released this past Tuesday the 26th!

Half-Assed Evil Exorcists! “John Dies at the End” Book Review

Posted by Steven Lewis on

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Jason Pargin, under the pseudonym name David wong, is a major success stories that inspire all of us hopeful writers. Pargin, a low on the totem poll data entry administrator, is the brains behind the insanely clever, notoriously witty, and devilishly deranged novel “John Dies at the End.” Without even an English degree to his name, Pargin wrote short stories that turned into a full fledged novel solely by word of mouth from total strangers. Eventually Pargin was contacted by Phantasm director Don Coscarelli and as soon as Pargin blinked, a movie was adapted from his story and the rest is hisory.

“John Dies at the End” revolves around David Wong, a video store clerk whose life isn’t exactly that excited, but when he discovers the “soy sauce” from a homeless Rastafarian Wong and his friend John are sucked into the massive plans of an alternative reality species that has their sights on enslaving humanity in the name of their leader “Korrok.” Only Wong and John can see the truth because of the “soy sauce” and while others live their daily lives, Wong and John prepare for battle the only way they know how – with boom boxes, flame thrower water guns, and Molly the bomb eating dog.

Pargin’s novel will be a treat that you’ll never ever in your life read something similar like it again. Somehow able to paint a perfect picture with his colorful use of dictionary, Pargin certainly knows how to make silly scary and fun. The pages just kept turning as if I was hooked on the “soy sauce” and was warped, like a “Star Trek” hyper drive, into an other world universe. The randomness of scenes with Wong’s first person version of events can only be described as batshit nuts with a hint of nihilism. Once you add his friend John into the mix, it’s a whole different story as John is a colorful character with classically hilarious one liners and a mind like a 13 year old boy ready to take on the world.

I’m one those people who watched the Don Coscarelli movie first before reading the book and I did this before with Stephen King’s novel The Mist and so far, I’m not disappointed with my ass-backwards way of doing things. Of course, the novel will always have more than a movie adaptation, but damn did Coscarelli bring Wong’s world to life and light and I do believe that the writings of Pargin are so vivid and clear that this made Coscarelli’s job easy.

“John Dies at the End” is a must read. It isn’t the latest best seller as the book’s been out since 2007, but this horror comedy will make you laugh and thrill you into thinking about the possibilities of our universe.

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Evil That Is Hard to Swallow. Bad Meat review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on

badmeatNot quite sure I want to review Bad Meat. Analyzing a project that never saw completion is like trying to teach terminally ill 3 year old how to manage a bank account. As I do a little more back ground research on Bad Meat, I’ve come across some very interesting and almost discouraging tidbits about the history behind Bad Meat. First off, the director is named Lulu Jarmen. Right now, you might be asking yourself who the hell is Lulu Jarmen and what else has she directed? Some people think Jarmen took over the project from Rob Schmidt, the director behind the inbred cannibal movie Wrong Turn and who promised fans that Dead Meat would be the most vile move ever seen quoted in 2011. However, many other people believe that Lulu Jarmen is a pseudo-name for Rob Schmidt because of how embarrassedly bad Bad Meat turned out financially and plot-wise.

Six troubled youths are sent to the isolated Camp Hardway under the cruel thumb of an hitler-esque figure and perverse, sadistic counselors. When the camp cook feeds the counselors rotten meat, the counselors transform into raging, flesh eating psychopaths.

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The premise is a shortcoming much like the ending of Dead Meat. Literally, the film just ran out of money from Capital films and immediately shut down production half way through the movie. Is it a good thing that perhaps Schmidt (or Jarmen) shot the movie from first sequence? One would think. Yet, Dead Meat ends right at the middle of the movie and in the midst of an attack none-the-less. The characters’ fates, the six teenage renegades, are left unexplained by an open ended, most likely reshot, ending that has left us to conjure up our own imagination to seek an ending to Dead Meat.

Dead Meat from the beginning had no promise even though fun to watch. The perversity is awkward, the fluids flow in chunky green vomit and think warm red blood, and the dialogue is as colorful as all the spectrums of the rainbow. The first 82-83, give or take, manages to at least make your time worth wild, but the last ten minutes are severely butchered with reshot with scenes of a severely burned (maybe?) survivor of the camp laying in a hospital bed and typing away on a bedside computer. Typing what? Yo no se. Most likely the story behind how this survivor came to be mangled and so horribly disfigured. These scenes, which are interjected into the original film, barely have any connections besides the name of the main character Tyler being thrown about by his apparent older brother who looks old enough to be his father.

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Dead Meat is not the “sickest move you’ll see this year.” Besides, I most likely would not even call it a full film. Intriguing, gross, and hilarious but a grand let down by Jarmen (or by Schmidt, who cares?). Any bit of Dead Meat’s success died with Capitol Films the production company. Revolver Entertainment’s pickup of Dead Meat would have rejuvenated life into this film, but instead arbitrary reshoots baffles and confuse.

Evil Mail Call! From Beyond the Iron Doors to eat Bad Meat with Sexsquatch!

Posted by Steven Lewis on

This is what lazy Saturday mornings do to you. Instead of a video or a neat little gif image, I just made a collage in photoshop, but the job gets done.

Bad Meat - From Beyond (Second Sight) - Iron Doors - Sexsquatch

Bad Meat – From Beyond (Second Sight) – Iron Doors – Sexsquatch

You can read my thoughts on Iron Doors here.

I’m thinking Second Sight’s release of From Beyond is next!!!! I’ve seen it before and I have the MGM now OOP version, but I still love the movie and can’t wait to view it again.