Tag Archives: Robert Englund

An Invisible, EVILociraptor is No Walk in Jurassic Park! “The Invisible Raptor” reviewed! (Well Go USA Entertainment / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Insivible Raptor” Tearing Onto Bluray! Buy it Here!

 once promising paleontologist is reduced to being a dinosaur theme park sideshow act after being swindled and sued for a discovery of a lifetime aboard.  When a deadly and intelligent lab created raptor escapes from its maximum-security confines, the paleontologist, an attractive ex-girlfriend returning into his life, and an eager townie security guard with no friends must put a stop to the first living, breathing carnivorous dinosaur in 65 million years, but tracking down an invisible creature with razor sharp talons and teeth is no easy task, and they must follow the carnage and bloodshed of its wake in order to stop it.  With little resources, relying mostly on the paleontologist’s expertise and the chummy security guard’s willingness to take life-or-death risks for his new friends, the trio rope in a local, rough-around-the-edges chicken farmer to persuade the foul ancestor into a madcap trap before the whole town becomes raptor food. 

Audiences shouldn’t care about another “Jurassic Park” sequel.  Instead, any cretaceous period anticipation should all be channeled and focused toward Mikey Hermosa’s “The Invisible Raptor.”  The 2023 comedy-horror is not land of the lost as it lands right in our homes on a new physical media release.  Written between first feature film writers Mike Capes and Johnny Wickham, the “Dutch Hollow” director Hermosa is not one bit phased by the prospect that his main villain is every bit nasty and furious as antagonists come but is entirely out of sight!   With the challenge accepted, Hermosa aims to pull of the next big comedy-horror dinosaur film since “Tammy and the T-Rex” while ribbing in fun it’s bigger, more successful, campy-somber, franchised brethren mercilessly.  Hermosa coproduces the Showbiz Baby and Valecroft production with writers Capes and Wickham as well as William Ramsey and Nic Neary with Well Go USA owning the theatrical and at-home presentation rights. 

Capes writes for himself as the hard-up paleontologist Dr. Grant Walker, a play on Sam Neill’s Dr. Allen Grant, who has succumb to being of caricature of his profession and while the Dr. Walker is downcast despite his credentials, educations, and reputation, opposite him is the town goof Deniel “Denny” Denielson (David Shackelford, “Beneath”), a friendless, family-less, theme park security guard who’s repute amongst his peer is lower than fossilized dinosaur crap, but his attitude remains cheerful and positive.  The two characters complement each other with budding growth in their arcs of Dr. Walker not pushing people away like he did with ex-girlfriend Amber (Caitlin McHugh) and Denny, with every ounce of his hillbilly being, trying to a fault to make a friend.  There’s a slew of eccentric side characters but one not more as colorful as chicken farmer Henrietta McClusky.  Played by the early 70-year-old Sandy Martin, the “Scalpel” role debuting actress who had a profound supporting character career having had a role in “Napolean Dynamite” and “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” in recent years continues her dry humor, dark comedy run with the Henrietta role a crude, rude, and with ton of attitude poultry farmer with a no nonsense way about her and while Henrietta is a deeply sexual creature in her own right, the amorous tension lies in between Walker and Amber that have instantly become two magnets in rekindling their lost flame.  The ease of which the two characters are written to be instantly smitten is greatly construction to be an almost an unattainable relationship by introducing a child with no relationship to either one of them, a decade long gap without a ton of hurt feelings for the other’s sudden decision of career over love, and, the obvious, a large, man-eating, invisible predator repelling the two magnets apart.  Sprinkled with familiar faces, “The Invisible Raptor” rounds out with notable cult film actors, such as Richard Riehle (“Office Space,” “Hatchet”), Larry Hankin (“Armed and Dangerous,” “Home Alone”), and Sean Astin (“Encino Man,” “Lord of the Rings”) as well as a cameo appearance from Vanessa Chester who played Dr. Ian Malcolm’s daughter in “The Lost World” in another potshot at the “Jurassic Park” series.

Between the hilariously staged “Jurassic Park” callback moments and an unnerving number of gags around the butt region (raptor feces, fossilized raptor buttholes, butt jokes in general), “The Invisible Raptor” has a lot of humor that’s either smart or misses the mark, but not by much in the cogently confined venture packed full of heart, heroism, and havoc on a prehistoric, science-fiction level.  “The Invisible Raptor” may be a modern-day gory comedy-horror but that gory-horror element combined with a bit of underground covert weaponization of dinosaur has a real throwback sense to the early 90’s to early 2000’s dino-horror, such as the “Carnosaur” films, “Tammy and the T-Rex,” and, of course, “Jurassic Park.”  Dino-horror is a niche subgenre that’s rare explored unless it’s totally satirical (“The Velocipastor,” “The Jurassic Dead”) or rooted more in a lost world aspect, sporadically released throughout the decades with “Raptor Island” or the more perilous journey of “Land of the Lost,” original series and it’s more comedic feature remake.  Hermosa quickly moves out from the testing bunker lab that has been the Raptor’s home and where the scientist treat it like an adored, harmless child, a theme of attachment to harmful things we shouldn’t be attached to and gets right into the mayhem by letting it loose in only a way one could perceive a raptor would – in indiscriminating bloodshed.   Hermosa also doesn’t flinch with an invisible titular foe, one the actors have to mentally conjure up to play against in a combative or cat-and-mouse scene, with neatly composited special and visual effects of floating objects, quickly consumed severed heads, and silhouette work through blood spray, heat vision, and a shower curtain by the talented Steve Johnson (“Lord of Illusions,” “Species II”) and Dorian Cleavenger, both of who bring years of experience and both of whom have worked together for the effects of Robert Englund’s “Fear Clinic.” 

Audiences won’t see this one coming!  “The Invisible Raptor” debuts onto an AVC encoded, high-def 1080p, Blu-ray courtesy of Well Go USA Entertainment.  The single-layer BD initiates some cause for concern on the image presentation prior to viewing but the picture produced is solid and stable with no banding in the darker voids, especially in those areas since there is no Raptor to be seen mostly during the night exteriors, poorly lit underground laboratory, or in the lowly key-lit interiors, there’s more shaded and hallow space exposed in the 1.78:1 widescreen aspect ratio.  Textured details are generally adequate with a softer, smoother touch from capacity compression, coupled with a hazy warm yellow-green lighting scheme.  The more standard, non-stylistic shots have better definition to where the details on Dr. Walker’s paleontologist outfit stand out amongst the eye glazing brown-and-tan colors and in the gooey grooves of the Velociraptor fecal matter complete with yellow kernels of corn.  Visual effects are handled with not too revealed explicitly to limit noticeable computer imagery and keep all that is practical the focus.  Audio options come in two English formats – a DTS-HD 5.1 and Stereo 2.0.  The range on this mix is explosive as it is subtle right down the clicks and grunts of the assumed noises one would be led to believe a prehistorical, carnivorous raptor would make.  Dialogue renders clearly and definitively prominent amongst ensuring bedlam cacophony whenever there’s a dino-crises in a more than one people grouping; the audio compilation has been carefully layered to denote exactly what’s intended to be discerned at that moment. English and French subtitles are available. There are no encoded special features on fluid menu of this feature only release but there is a quick bonus scene at the end credits. The physical copy has only a little bit more in the way of extra content with a cardboard, tactile-titled O-slipcover sporting the current state of arranged character pyramid composite. The snap lock Blu-ray Amaray is standard with the same cover art and no tangible extras inside. Rated R for bloody violence and gore, crude sexual material, drug use, and brief graphic nudity, Well Go USA’s release is region A encoded for playback and has a runtime of nearly 2 hours at 114 minutes.

Last Rites: Though the raptor may be invisible, this release should be seen by all! “The Invisible Raptor” is a hilarious “Jurassic Park” parody with plenty of bite, plenty of fun, and plenty of non-visible computer-generated dinosaurs, especially for those who are feeling the dinosaur fatigue.

“Insivible Raptor” Tearing Onto Bluray! Buy it Here!

This is Not Taylor Swift’s “EVIL” Hit Song. “Cruel Summer” reviewed! (Scream Team Releasing / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Cruel Summer” on Blu-ray Home Video!

Heather and Felissa have planned the perfect weekend party for summer kickoff.  The custom invitations are set for their friends to cordially request their attendance for an 80’s themed murder mystery at Heather’s aunt and uncle’s cabin home.  Upon their arrival, the stock up on booze and groceries, fake knives and masks are in hand, and the game is about to begin, but little do they know, the surprises and terror in store for them are not manufactured by the rules of a party game.  A masked serial killer is heading straight for their night of fun and games, killing anyone who steps in his path, including other tourists, locals, and even the law enforcement called in to check on the party noise levels.  When friends suddenly disappear throughout the night, that strange feeling of derealization takes over and worry sets in that something other than being passed out from partying too hard has happened to them and that same fate will soon happen to them. 

Let’s face it.  All horror nowadays is rooted by the inspiration from horror long ago.   Originality has all but faded from the conceptual ideas, script pages, and in what the camera records.  Independent horror filmmaking is basically devotion digitized and the easily accessible equipment has turned every kid, who grew up watching Todd Browning, George A. Romero, and Dario Argento, into splintered, hackneyed versions of their favorite directors.  Most indies either follow similar formulaic narratives and styles or cast and cameo acting icons to draw upon homage or headlined sales, but for Scott Tepperman’s 2021 Indiegogo-funded slasher “Cruel Summer” there lies little effort in either department despite the film’s throwback claim.  The “Nightblade” and “Hell’s Bells” director based in Tallahassee, FL is not opaque with the 80’s obsession he integrates into his COVID production under his cofounded Los Bastardz Productions with Jim O’Rear.

If looking up “Cruel Summer” on IMDB.com or any other online movie database that lists the cast and the associated character names, a trend might pop out at you but might not be evident at first.  Since I personally try to avoid looking up or researching films or watch trailers to sideline any kind of preconceived biases, I began to pick up halfway through the runtime the correlation between all the character names in that they’re nods to renowned horror actors and directors.  Some examples include Ashlyn McCain playing principal lead Heather (as in “A Nightmare on Elm Street’s” Heather Langenkamp), Bridget Linda Froemming plays Felissa (as in “Sleepaway Camp’s” Felissa Rose), Harold McLeod II plays Tobin (as in “Saw’s” Tobin Bell), Will Horton plays Vincent (as in “House on Haunted Hill’s” Vincent Price), and Scott Tepperman plays Gunnar (as in “Texas Chainsaw Massacre’s” Gunnar Hansen.  There’s also references to Barbara Crampton (“Re-Animator”), Doug Bradley (“Hellraiser”), Robert Englund (“A Nightmare on Elm Street”), Tony Todd (“Candyman”), Linnea Quigley (“Night of the Demons”), Katheryn Bigelow (director of “Near Dark”), and William Lustig (director of “Maniac”).  While not an entirely novel idea to use genre names as characters, what’s wholly impressive is this scale of use but the characters themselves more-or-less dawdle without progressing the story or adding much substance.  Once the friends arrive at the house, not much else happens between them and no individual or group character arcs take shape and flesh out, leaving just potential fresh kills for a family of whack jobs with a loose tragic and traumatizing backstory with an incongruitous twist in family relations.  “Cruel Summer’s” cast rounds out with Jimmy Maguire (“Hell’s Bells), Paul Van Scott (“Shark Waters”), Jim O’Rear, H. (Hannah) Marie, R.J. Cecott (“House of Whores”), Keith Bachelor Jr. (“Survival of the Apocalypse”), Kim Casciotti (“I Dared You! Truth or Dare Part 5”), Ashley Casciotti, Abby Graves, and Aria Renee Kenney.

Not to be confused with the popular titular track by the teen enthralling, mega popstar Taylor Swift or the teenage angsty and melodramatic, anthological seasoned series of the same title that once starred Kevin Smith’s daughter Harley Quinn Smith, “Cruel Summer” has loose ties to the other two media consumptions with a rudimentary display of teenage complications that turns full blown slasher in a matter of minutes, ranking the indie horror as bottom shelf goods.  Cruelty lies within the character treatment in an unsatisfactory means to character’s life and/or their demise among a slew of plot holes galore, such as where are Heather’s talked about Aunt and Uncle who own the house?  Why are the killers suddenly interested in the house and the current occupants if they’ve been living next door or in the area all this time?  Is it just happenstance that the killers have imbedded kin in the group of friends travelling to this very house?  My head spins with questions that don’t play out with answers in what is truly a cruel movie that really doesn’t display the ostensible season of Summer with characters in unseasonal jackets, sweats, and flannel and staying in-doors to play in-door games.  Returning to what seems to be an epicenter of importance, the house feels keystone to the merciless slaughter, yet in the same breath, the explanation of executions doesn’t make much sense in the grand scheme of insanity cases, pulling the lynchpin on the narrative structure to have the story collapse on itself by relying on a cock and bull outcome in a slack climax.   

Scream Team Releasing, a distributor who I’ve praised the positive reviewed releases of “Dude Bro Massacre III” and “Rave,” is also home to “Cruel Summer” on Blu-ray home video.  The AVC encoded, high-definition, 1080p resolution BD50 maintains detail composure fairly well with a decoding bitrate average of 30Mbps albeit some fluctuation in the bitrate between exterior lit night scenes and the interior lit scenes.  “Cruel Summer” is more reliant on natural lighting where possible without hyper stylizing with color grading and misfitting CGI blood, resulting in a natural veneer that looks uninspired but adequate for the budget.  There is some minor splotching/banding in darker spots that is the extent of compression issues. The English language Dolby Digital stereo 2.0 mix has difficulty with sealing the rough-and-ready sound design when splicing multiple takes. Dialogue renders over nicely enough but the filtering out of extra elements, such as wind and echoes, that sneak into the recording and though a little background adds a bit of verisimilitude, there’s just too much start and stop audio files and there too intertwined within a varying levels of volume amplitude and varying levels of depth delineation, sometimes muffled or stifled to a softer mix. There are no subtitles available on this release. Bonus features include A Not-So-Cruel Summer featurette with cast and crew interviews, a glimpse behind-the-scenes that goes around scene setups and getting some background on what they’re doing at that time, an audio commentary with director Scott Tepperman going deep into every scene and their backstory with opinions on his cast but eventually Tepperman cuts out near the unveiling climax and he’s just silently watching the film with some snickering or sinus clearings to keep us aware he’s still there, Scott Tepperman, Jim O’Rear, and some of the cast’s Indiegogo crowdfunding campaign fundraiser spiel for a new kind of 80’s slasher, another Indiegogo proof of concept video and pitch, the cast and crew divulge their favorite slasher flick, the grindhouse trailer, and the trailer. The Scream Team Releasing is not rated, runs at a slim 78-minutes, and has region free playback. Don’t sweat over “Cruel Summer” in what is a lukewarm, low-budget slasher with little-to-no curb appeal and the only thing going for the Scott Tepperman feature is the filmmaker’s enthusiasm for 80’s horror which has seemingly been misplaced from the 80’s inspired film itself.

“Cruel Summer” on Blu-ray Home Video!

Watch Out! EVIL is Coming for Your Dysfunctional Family! “The Bloody Man” reviewed! (Wild Eye Releasing / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Better Behave or “The Bloody Man” Will Get You!  On Blu-ray at Amazon.com.

Set in the 1980s, Sam doesn’t cope well with life without his recently deceased beloved mother.  Getting along with his new stepmother proves to be challenging at best, his older brother continues to disregard him as an insignificant pest, his little sister gets under his skin in playing with his action figures without consent, and the school bully makes his life that much more difficult.  The young boy’s unhappiness spurs him into desperate measures by reciting a spell passage on the back of his favorite comic book, hoping the passage truthful to conjure up his deepest desire – to bring his mother back from the dead and fix a broken family.  The passage instead summons a demon, the Bloody Man, who seeks to rip fractured family apart even farther until their eventual dissolve and demise.  Able to possess and take shape of his stepmother, Sam must reunite his family in order to save not only his siblings but also his stepmother from fragmenting into nothingness and death at the hands of a demented demon trickster.

An homage to all things 1980s, “The Bloody Man” is a modern-day resemblance of one the more recent golden ages of cinema with a synth-laden soundtrack, all the popular play toy trinkets and new wave styles of the era, and a magazine loaded millimeter film stock shot in attempt to remove as much of the digital aerodynamics as possible in contemporary times.  Daniel Benedict, the director of the Halloween-themed slasher “Bunni” involving a sexy, leather-cladded, fishnet stockings wearing costume killer with bunny ears, takes a step back from extreme slashers and hops into more family-oriented terror with the protagonist heroes being kids stepping up against the forces of evil, think of films like “The Gate” or “Ernest Scarred Stupid.”  Not as slapstick as the “Ernest” droll-troll paragon of ritualized Halloween movie lineups, this crowdfunded project can be a little more vicious in delivering on the lines of the same heartwarming message that instilled into us from the Jim Varney 30-years-ago, that love is key in overcoming darkness.  Benedict pens and helms the 2020 production with wife Casi Clark, aka Casi Benedict, co-writing a script that loosely pulls in and indirectly references Benedicts’ collaborated efforts on a He-Man inspired fan made short “Fall of Grayskull” into their boogieman story.  The Benedicts’ production company Red Serial Films confects the film into fruition with Mercedez Varble, Jason L. Watson, Garrett M. Johnson, and Rihannon Crothers producing. 

Despite not having top bill on the film, David Daniel leads us through the angsty complications of a new family dynamic as well as being the centric force of rebuilding a crumbling household as the middle child, feeling every bit like the world is against him, Sam Harris.  Daniels debut feature and leading role depicts well the internal argumentative aspects of having to go along with a life-forming change no child should ever go through, the death of a mother, and that sends him and his family careening toward dissolution despite his cheerful father’s overly confident optimism.  The top bills go to a pair of “A Nightmare on Elm Street” alum who both play mother to Sam.  Lisa Wilcox (“A Nightmare on Elm Street:  The Dream Master” and “A Nightmare on Elm Street:  The Dream Child”) and Tuesday Knight (“A Nightmare on Elm Street:  The Dream Master”) switch back-and-forth, between flashback-and-present, Sam’s biological mother and his new, soon to be, stepmother.  Surely, it comes to reason that the Wilcox and Knight names not only provide a couple of “The Bloody Man” selling points for die hard Freddy Kruger acolytes but could also be seen as an homage to the Robert Englund franchise with a similar living between two planes of existence nightmare antagonists hunting down a house full of kids, using unhappiness as a vessel rather than dreams.  Though not scarred by full body burns, wielding a finger bladed glove, and sporting a dirty striped sweater and fedora, the Bloody Man has his own characteristics being a black magic sorcerer.  Dressed traditionally in a snug black Chinese robe and blood running down his wild eyed face, Nicholas Redd enlivens the Bloody Man on a playfully perturbing level but the script doesn’t allow Redd to deliver the Bloody Man’s full potential while also not cutting the villain fully into the fold until the nearly last act.  Instead, the Bloody Man is reduced to a few here-and-there appearances, some one-liners, with half of the character’s screen time awarded to Tuesday Knight in a duality role as the Bloody Man uses the caregiver’s looks to draw in the Harris children.  Redd has promising lunacy that’s sorely underutilized in more ways than one and in so much so, the film itself shouldn’t be titled after the character.  “The Bloody Man” remaining cast includes Sam Hadden, Olivia Sanders, Jeremy Carr (“Calm Before”), Dominick Wilkins (“6 Feet Below Hell”), Dan Eardley (“Retro Freaks”), KateLynn E. Newberry (“O9en Up”), and Ellie Parker (“Bones and All”).

I’m all for a quasi-kid friendly horror of the same antithetical vein as “Monster Squad” or “Gremlins” where the subject matter borders the edge of being too risky, eking above the terror threshold for children who would be roughly the same age as the story’s principal leads battling for the very reconciliation of family before the Bloody Man kills them.  “The Bloody Man” lurks under the veil of being lighthearted in contrast to the brushing scenes of severed, sentient arms, blood streaking down various maniacal faces, a mildly gruesome decapitation, and moments of good ‘ole fashion terror that may induce nightmares for anyone under the age of 12.  A child’s lack of sleep because they’re waking up with fright-filled sweats will for sure not provide parents any favors, but Benedict skirts a fair amount of gore and does imply the significant damage and death offscreen almost as to shelter general audiences’ eyes for a broader invitation to watch the movie and, as mentioned previously, the titular bad guy doesn’t make an appearance until much later in the story that has been setup comically with a wrestling fanatic principal, Perry’s godawful verbal teasing, and a lot of 80’s inspired shots that nailed the decade’s analog paint job – a silver lining against the night terrors.  Honestly, the third act also drags out the culmination of events.  For such a small house, the Bloody Man chasing the Harris kids might as well taken place in a labyrinthine mansion, but the ground level with basement rancher slows down the hide-and-seek or maybe the Bloody Man is just really bad at childish game as the kids could stay in rooms for extended periods of time, even playing pretend with toys at one point, and in not once instance, does the Bloody Man bust in to snatch up a tyke to terminate.  Where “The Bloody Man” also struggles is buttoning up the summoning of the soulless sorcerer who’s conjured up by a mere passage reading off the back of Sam’s favorite Barbarian Man comic books.  The comic, which is introduced as a fairly over-the-counter object, holds this mystical darkness that must be conjoined with a family’s spiraling.  Yet, the story contradicts itself as the Bloody Man pursues another broken home that didn’t warrant the reading of the comic’s back cover passage, creating some confusion on how the cruel chaser of disconcerted children operates on a phantasmic plane.

As far as 80’s-inspired films go, “The Bloody Man” can run with the best of them, even with Netflix’s “Stranger Things,” and Wild Eye Releasing sees fit to drop a special edition Blu-ray of the Daniel Benedict comedic chiller.  The AVC encoded, high-definition 1080p, BD25 is presented in a widescreen 2.35:1 aspect ratio.  What makes the film feel decade authentic and that can suck you into it’s existence is Benedict’s decision to shoot either in 35mm or with a 35mm digital overlay that has characteristic dust speckles and a fine grain.  Image quality remain at a consistent color and black levels with a few flare ups of compression artefact issues, such as splotches in darker scenes, in squeezing this long runtime film onto a BD25 along with an atypical accompaniment of Wild Eye Release robust extras.  The bitrate does have large swings from lower teens to upwards of high 20s Mbps.  Yet, details generally come through with enough depth to create visual spacing between objects.  The English language Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo renders adequate for a narrative that doesn’t have a ton of range with an intimately tight story surrounding Sam and his siblings but is complimented greatly by Johnathan Fan Octo Evans retro-synth soundtrack with an oscillating pulse and a crescendo of tension, solidifying even more the 80’s inspiration. English subtitles are optionally available. The special features include a director’s commentary with Daniel Benedict, a gag-blooper reel, a local newscast behind-the-scenes segment, various promotional videos from Kickstarter, Indiegogo, Barbarian Man toys, an emulated One to Grown On based PSA show from the 80s, and a Showbox promo with the original trailer bringing up the tail. One last bonus scene is also at the end of the credits so stay to the very end. The physical features include a clear Blu-ray snapper case with latch that houses glow lit Harris kids geared up to tackle the looming Bloody Man, or that is my assumption of who that is on the front cover as that figure looks nothing like the Bloody Man on screen. A more true-to-form Bloody Man is on the cardboard slipcover in another retro illustrated, compositional mockup with a similar layout as the actual Blu-ray front cover. Inside the snapper case, the reverse front cover has a still image from the movie, typical of many Wild Eye Releases, a folded one-sheet with the additions of Tuesday Knight and Lisa Wilcox amongst the child leads, and a disc art pressed with the unknown version of Bloody Man. The region free release comes not rated and has an excessive runtime of 133 minutes, contributing to the pacing issues of the last act. “The Bloody Man” doesn’t exactly live up to the moniker in this tame throwback but what the film has is a mighty nostalgia that brings back feelings of a superlative horror age that was once, and still is, goosebump arousing.

Better Behave or “The Bloody Man” Will Get You!  On Blu-ray at Amazon.com.

Mobsters Can’t Stomach EVIL in “Witness Infection” reviewed! (Freestyle Digital Media / Digital Screener)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Two rival mafia families are moved mistakenly into the same small California city as part of a Witness Protection Agency relocation.  In order to avoid an all-out territory war between the two sides, who are already busting at the seams of confrontation, the two families devise an arranged marriage of peace between one kingpin’s beautiful daughter and another’s withdrawn from the family business son, Carlo, who rather work as a dog groomer with his friend Gina, but when a new sausage food truck starts selling out of their popular menu items with tainted ground meat, the overstuffed and gastrointestinal suffering customers turn into blood hungry zombies running rampant on the streets.  After Carlo and his friends nearly escape the clutches of an angry mob boss after refusing his daughter’s hand in marriage, his troubles didn’t end there as they must now trek through the zombie-infested town and battle hordes of the undead to save his own flesh and blood before they down a family size portion of contaminated Italian sausages and meatballs. 

Mafia families and the undead go together, right?  The two factions clash in a Guido versus zombie horror-comedy “Witness Infection” from a script by Nickelodeon-animation voice actor, Carlos Alazraqui, who had entertained many mid-thirty-something-year-olds in voicing Rocko from “Rocko’s Modern Life” and comedy writer Jill-Michele Melean of the “Zombie Marriage Counseling” shorts and “MADtv”.  At the helm is director Andy Palmer who, in the past, directed generically titled B-horror flicks with familiar names and faces, such as Courtney Gains (“Children of the Corn”), Danielle Harris (“Halloween 4 & 5” franchise), Robert Englund (“Nightmare on Elm Street”), and Clint Howard (“Evilspeak”).  For the pun-driven “Witness Infection,” Palmer finds much of his muses elsewhere in the form of voice actors exposing themselves (in a non-perverted way, you sickos!) for a mezza morta borgata!  Voice talent, ranging from “The Boondocks,” to the “Extreme Ghostbusters,” to the original “Inspector Gadget,” run in unison with an over-the-top bambino in the zombie cache, arranging a small time hit of laughs and gasses with some respectable gore moments submerged in the bloody sauce.  Produced by Alazraqui, Melean, and Warner Davis, co-owner of Petri Entertainment with Andy Palmer that serves as production company alongside Mob Goo Productions. 

Robert Belushi, yes, that iconic and distinct surname is the one and the same of his father Jim Belushi, stars as Carlo, a disinterested mob family son who wants nothing to do with organized crime and wants everything to do with living a normal, loving life.  The narrative plays into Carlo being protected by his mob boss father by shielding him from the unsavory and cutthroat dealings of mafia life, but when his father can no longer protect his dog grooming son, Carlo is thrust into an arranged marriage with the daughter of a rival family.  Belushi isn’t his father and doesn’t have the wily charm that can snap into macho in an instant; instead, the “Devil’s Due” actor enacts a softer side in a story crowded full of uncouth wise guys. Carlo is also a man caught between two worlds as a man who would do anything for family, but also standing up for his convictions and Belushi connects with Carlo’s tug-a-war discord. Jill-Michele Melean writes herself a character in Gina, Carlo’s pet grooming colleague studying to be a veterinarian. Gina’s the insinuated love interest championing Carlo’s fateful decision. Melean mixes chummily stepping into the love interest role who then characteristically goes into a tailspin arc to be in one instance frightened by a severed deer head but then okay with bashing the head’s in of undead acquaintances in the next. Together, the chemistry between Belushi and Melean felt flat with a more of a friendship zone interplay. Granted, “Witness Infection” doesn’t flaunt a range of emotional drives to feed off of in a clearly spaced three act story of assertion in not participating in an arranged marriage, a bar stronghold attack, and a race back home to save his family from deadly digestion and concluding with what’s finally a big spark between Gina and Carlo in their, what once, platonic relationship. Casting also stars an unforgettable comedian lineup beginning with this actress’s voice you know, but who you’ve rarely in Tara Strong (“Extreme Ghostbusters”), the versatile Maurice LaMarche (“Inspector Gadget”), the multitalented Carlos Alazraqui (“Rocko’s Modern Life”), one part comedian and one part break dancer Bret Ernst (“Cobra Kai”), and rounding out with Vince Donvito, Erinn Hayes, and Monique Coleman as the foxy anti-token, anti-trope black woman who won’t be just another unnecessary death in another horror movie.

What first popped out at me is “Witness Infection” using severe flatulence as a goofy symptom of turning into a boil-laden and baggy-eyed zombie.  An immediate turn off by the fart and poop gags after eating the tainted sausage that pays a disparaging homage to Jersey’s cultural culinary cuts of meat has the viewing pleasure be huffed at at the thought of getting through yet another zombie film using passing gas to get a comedic rise.  Luckily, and to my surprise, the initial buildup of the outbreak happens all at once, like a switch being turned on, and then the conventional chaos of zombie madness ensues and farting is left in the wind.  However, “Witness Infection” only garners a few chortles in a flat and tired banter and slapstick comedy.   Much can be said the same about the rest of the story that has Carlo, Gina, and cousin Vince go through what feels like a redundant motions of survival action against a mass creature attack, such as an assault on a bar stronghold where they encounter a blaxploitation vixen, Rose, in a fully-fledged satirical scene that barely cups the intended result with an unnecessarily pitstop with heavy exposition that brings no motivation to the characters.  Not all fails to impress as the clash with the undead dependably aggressive, especially when James Ojala’s special effects poke through with an eye-catching overly violent money shot.  Ojala, who has worked on “Dead Birds” and “Thor,” delivers a really impressive head-ripping decapitation scene involving a toilet seat and lots of blood.  The only downside to the scene is that most of it hit the cutting room floor, leaving only a milliseconds of material to be left in awe.  Though the zombies snarl asynchronously loud with the action and sound like one of the Tiger King’s famished big cats, the makeup is economically slicked on but does the job nonetheless. 

Strong, eclectic performances and the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it gore keeps Andy Palmer’s “Witness Infection” as a bat-swinging, deer-eating, head-smashing horror-comedy not to miss, capisce!  Freestyle Digital Media distributes the film come March 30th on Video-on-Demand and on Digital HD platforms, such as iTunes and Google Play, with a runtime of 82 minutes.  A Panasonic EVA 1 camera was used to shoot the film under the cinematic eye of Filip Vandewal’s stabilizing safe mode approach by not being too adventurous with the camera work, but there are some nicely framed scenes that pull together the actors during confrontational and down to the earth moments with a prime example being Carlo and his father running through the stern discussion, for the first time, of arranged marriage with a rival crime boss’s daughter who is dating his brother but because his brother is sterile, he can’t have children, ergo an heir to the mafia family.  Along with the solid acting from Belushi and despite some continuity mistakes in the scene, the backdoor being open and also being closed then back to open again, the blunt pleasantries that captures firm love between the two of them is sincerely present.  As far as bonus scenes go, there were zero bonus scenes during and after the credits.  “Witness Infection” chips away at the zombie genre’s plodding wall with a pin hammer dink by stirring in Mafioso drama and diabolical flashes of gore.   

Evil Wants to Make a Triple Feature! “The House with 100 Eyes” review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on

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Anything goes in Hollywood, California and anybody can be a star. Just ask amateur filmmakers Ed and Susan, an average middle class married couple, who are searching the streets, scouting for their three actors to star in Ed and Susan’s Red Studios produced snuff film. Ed is hellbent on making his next film a never before seen triple feature – three kills in one night. After days of scouting the streets and coming up with no potential stars, Ed and Susan finally happen upon three homeless youths and offer them $500 each to star in, what the believe to be, just a harmless porno film. Things don’t go as planned as what was suppose to be Ed’s perfect triple feature night turns to be a nightmare for all parties involved. The story is told through Ed’s staged house cameras and the cameras have a night of death to tell.

I’ve only experienced one other Jay Lee directed movie prior to “The House with 100 Eyes” and that was with “Zombie Strippers!” starring Robert Englund and Jenna Jameson and while I solely purchased that title for personal entertainment and didn’t write up a review, I remember “Zombie Strippers!” being ridiculously gory. Jay Lee hasn’t strayed too far from his element with “The House with 100 Eyes” and teams up with co-director and lead actor Jim Roof (who had a part in “Zombie Strippers!”) to bring gore and shock to a mockumentary about creating a snuff film.
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Unlike anything I’ve ever seen before, “The House with 100 Eyes” labels itself as horror-comedy, but in reality, the overtone deems itself more factual about the human condition. Married couple Ed and Susan couldn’t be any more realistically different; Ed is a sadistic psychopath who gets off on his addiction of suffering and murder while Susan’s more organized, structured, and satisfies her desires through death by poisoning. Not much information is explicitly given about Ed or Susan except tidbits shared by each character through self interview commentary; Ed grew up torturing animals and watching their reactions through the results of his torment while Susan went through a string of abusive husbands and her torment feels more man-made. Now while I’ve just described two very disturbed individuals, their marriage couldn’t be any more comically stereotypical; small marital spouts, sexual frustrations, “happy homemaker” wife, etc. Ed and Susan even have a pet – a young female victim named Maddie who had all her limbs severed and is probably going through Stockholm Syndrome with Ed and Susan. The comedy element is their marriage as it’s actually not a facade for making a horrific snuff film.
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The gore brings the viewer back to the subject matter of the film and the effects couldn’t be anymore gut wrenching. Ed’s torture chair has to be the most frightful part of story, strapping in his victims and just going to town on them with whatever tool inspires him. Ed slices, dices, breaks, guts, hammers, and chisel aways until the very last breath and his merciless demeanor, conveyed very well by Jim Roof, sells icy cold-heartiness. While Jay Lee didn’t linger too much on the gory scenes, Lee’s ability to inflict the anguish of the quick shots by implementing screeching audio interference from one of Ed’s stand cams, heightening the reflection of pain of torture. Ed is well complimented by his wife Susan, portrayed by Shannon Malone, who is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Susan might be pleasant and even tempered when compared to Ed, but once the sweet kiss of death reaches near her nostrils, she can’t help herself to take it upon herself to inject a vicious, blood-vomit inducing poison into her prey. This makes Susan just as deadly, if not more so, than Ed.
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Now while I might be putting “The House with 100 Eyes” on a tall pedestal, I’m not too pleased with the intentional censorship of nudity. The purpose of Ed’s snuff film is for sexual gratification; he wants the double whammy of dirty sex and grisly murder. When the two lovers, Clutch and Jamie, remove their clothing, their privates are censored by close up framing or blurring out techniques. The censorship practice puts a damper on the film’s ugly subject matter, dumbing down and unbalancing the violence and the nudity. The way the filmmakers worked around this was a heed before the presentation that Ed’s tapes were all made public to expose, which the authorities thought were a hoax, the atrocities of Ed and Susan but the victim’s humility was to be kept intact.
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Another miscue for me was the open ending, leaving the conclusion up for interpretation. I’m usually one for open endings, but the way “The House with 100 Eyes” set itself up in the beginning with the “public release” should have forcibly led to a closed ending, wrapped in a nice little red bow. The ending considers the audience to be left frightened or wondering if their support for the victims will be justified, but the ending was more of an abrupt cut away from what could have been a more effective, plot defining ending.

The Artsploitation Films DVD release runs an unrated 76 minute feature presented in a 1.78:1 widescreen transfer through many digital cameras accompanied by 5.1 surround mix. The film looked sharp and clear with only minor digital noise interference during some of the more darker scenes. The well-placed screeching audio was a nice touch for fear effect, but does become a bit ear-stiffening after prolonged use. On the inside of the DVD casing, a note from the directors Jay Lee and Jim Roof give you a bit of insight on what to expect and don’t sugar coat about the dark comedy. It’s purely a film about absolute evil.
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Overall, Jim Lee and Jay Roof along with a solid cast deliver a cringe-worthy found footage mockumentary that mind behind the eyes of the malevolent and being very happy to do so with a evil smirk on their faces. Make sure you send your kids to be early before viewing the Artsploitation Films’ release of “The House with 100 Eyes.”