Mobsters Can’t Stomach EVIL in “Witness Infection” reviewed! (Freestyle Digital Media / Digital Screener)

Two rival mafia families are moved mistakenly into the same small California city as part of a Witness Protection Agency relocation.  In order to avoid an all-out territory war between the two sides, who are already busting at the seams of confrontation, the two families devise an arranged marriage of peace between one kingpin’s beautiful daughter and another’s withdrawn from the family business son, Carlo, who rather work as a dog groomer with his friend Gina, but when a new sausage food truck starts selling out of their popular menu items with tainted ground meat, the overstuffed and gastrointestinal suffering customers turn into blood hungry zombies running rampant on the streets.  After Carlo and his friends nearly escape the clutches of an angry mob boss after refusing his daughter’s hand in marriage, his troubles didn’t end there as they must now trek through the zombie-infested town and battle hordes of the undead to save his own flesh and blood before they down a family size portion of contaminated Italian sausages and meatballs. 

Mafia families and the undead go together, right?  The two factions clash in a Guido versus zombie horror-comedy “Witness Infection” from a script by Nickelodeon-animation voice actor, Carlos Alazraqui, who had entertained many mid-thirty-something-year-olds in voicing Rocko from “Rocko’s Modern Life” and comedy writer Jill-Michele Melean of the “Zombie Marriage Counseling” shorts and “MADtv”.  At the helm is director Andy Palmer who, in the past, directed generically titled B-horror flicks with familiar names and faces, such as Courtney Gains (“Children of the Corn”), Danielle Harris (“Halloween 4 & 5” franchise), Robert Englund (“Nightmare on Elm Street”), and Clint Howard (“Evilspeak”).  For the pun-driven “Witness Infection,” Palmer finds much of his muses elsewhere in the form of voice actors exposing themselves (in a non-perverted way, you sickos!) for a mezza morta borgata!  Voice talent, ranging from “The Boondocks,” to the “Extreme Ghostbusters,” to the original “Inspector Gadget,” run in unison with an over-the-top bambino in the zombie cache, arranging a small time hit of laughs and gasses with some respectable gore moments submerged in the bloody sauce.  Produced by Alazraqui, Melean, and Warner Davis, co-owner of Petri Entertainment with Andy Palmer that serves as production company alongside Mob Goo Productions. 

Robert Belushi, yes, that iconic and distinct surname is the one and the same of his father Jim Belushi, stars as Carlo, a disinterested mob family son who wants nothing to do with organized crime and wants everything to do with living a normal, loving life.  The narrative plays into Carlo being protected by his mob boss father by shielding him from the unsavory and cutthroat dealings of mafia life, but when his father can no longer protect his dog grooming son, Carlo is thrust into an arranged marriage with the daughter of a rival family.  Belushi isn’t his father and doesn’t have the wily charm that can snap into macho in an instant; instead, the “Devil’s Due” actor enacts a softer side in a story crowded full of uncouth wise guys. Carlo is also a man caught between two worlds as a man who would do anything for family, but also standing up for his convictions and Belushi connects with Carlo’s tug-a-war discord. Jill-Michele Melean writes herself a character in Gina, Carlo’s pet grooming colleague studying to be a veterinarian. Gina’s the insinuated love interest championing Carlo’s fateful decision. Melean mixes chummily stepping into the love interest role who then characteristically goes into a tailspin arc to be in one instance frightened by a severed deer head but then okay with bashing the head’s in of undead acquaintances in the next. Together, the chemistry between Belushi and Melean felt flat with a more of a friendship zone interplay. Granted, “Witness Infection” doesn’t flaunt a range of emotional drives to feed off of in a clearly spaced three act story of assertion in not participating in an arranged marriage, a bar stronghold attack, and a race back home to save his family from deadly digestion and concluding with what’s finally a big spark between Gina and Carlo in their, what once, platonic relationship. Casting also stars an unforgettable comedian lineup beginning with this actress’s voice you know, but who you’ve rarely in Tara Strong (“Extreme Ghostbusters”), the versatile Maurice LaMarche (“Inspector Gadget”), the multitalented Carlos Alazraqui (“Rocko’s Modern Life”), one part comedian and one part break dancer Bret Ernst (“Cobra Kai”), and rounding out with Vince Donvito, Erinn Hayes, and Monique Coleman as the foxy anti-token, anti-trope black woman who won’t be just another unnecessary death in another horror movie.

What first popped out at me is “Witness Infection” using severe flatulence as a goofy symptom of turning into a boil-laden and baggy-eyed zombie.  An immediate turn off by the fart and poop gags after eating the tainted sausage that pays a disparaging homage to Jersey’s cultural culinary cuts of meat has the viewing pleasure be huffed at at the thought of getting through yet another zombie film using passing gas to get a comedic rise.  Luckily, and to my surprise, the initial buildup of the outbreak happens all at once, like a switch being turned on, and then the conventional chaos of zombie madness ensues and farting is left in the wind.  However, “Witness Infection” only garners a few chortles in a flat and tired banter and slapstick comedy.   Much can be said the same about the rest of the story that has Carlo, Gina, and cousin Vince go through what feels like a redundant motions of survival action against a mass creature attack, such as an assault on a bar stronghold where they encounter a blaxploitation vixen, Rose, in a fully-fledged satirical scene that barely cups the intended result with an unnecessarily pitstop with heavy exposition that brings no motivation to the characters.  Not all fails to impress as the clash with the undead dependably aggressive, especially when James Ojala’s special effects poke through with an eye-catching overly violent money shot.  Ojala, who has worked on “Dead Birds” and “Thor,” delivers a really impressive head-ripping decapitation scene involving a toilet seat and lots of blood.  The only downside to the scene is that most of it hit the cutting room floor, leaving only a milliseconds of material to be left in awe.  Though the zombies snarl asynchronously loud with the action and sound like one of the Tiger King’s famished big cats, the makeup is economically slicked on but does the job nonetheless. 

Strong, eclectic performances and the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it gore keeps Andy Palmer’s “Witness Infection” as a bat-swinging, deer-eating, head-smashing horror-comedy not to miss, capisce!  Freestyle Digital Media distributes the film come March 30th on Video-on-Demand and on Digital HD platforms, such as iTunes and Google Play, with a runtime of 82 minutes.  A Panasonic EVA 1 camera was used to shoot the film under the cinematic eye of Filip Vandewal’s stabilizing safe mode approach by not being too adventurous with the camera work, but there are some nicely framed scenes that pull together the actors during confrontational and down to the earth moments with a prime example being Carlo and his father running through the stern discussion, for the first time, of arranged marriage with a rival crime boss’s daughter who is dating his brother but because his brother is sterile, he can’t have children, ergo an heir to the mafia family.  Along with the solid acting from Belushi and despite some continuity mistakes in the scene, the backdoor being open and also being closed then back to open again, the blunt pleasantries that captures firm love between the two of them is sincerely present.  As far as bonus scenes go, there were zero bonus scenes during and after the credits.  “Witness Infection” chips away at the zombie genre’s plodding wall with a pin hammer dink by stirring in Mafioso drama and diabolical flashes of gore.   

This is One Evil Pussy! “Hell’s Kitty” review!


A Hollywood screenwriter named Nicholas owns a very special household feline. Angel, his Cat, has a unique relationship with her owner Nicholas. Yet, their unbreakable bond has put a severe damper on Nicholas’s intimacy with women as Angel slaughters any and all who becomes close with her beloved human. When Nicholas finally catches wind of the reason behind his love life woes and learns that Angel is actually possessed by an obsessive and dangerous demon, he and his friends Adam, whose also his downstairs neighbor in the apartment complex, seek to exorcise Angel back to being a nice kitty, but all who’ve challenged Angel thus far have been unlucky enough to be scratched to death. A medium, two priests, and even a cat therapist haven’t seem to help Nicholas through the bombardment of weird dreams and death that surround him in his lonely and tiny one bedroom apartment.

Cat lovers beware! “Hell’s Kitty” is purring up your leg to claw you in this new horror-comedy by writer-director Nicholas Tana. If you had thought cats were already contemptible enough to begin with then sit down in your air freshening kitty litter and get a can of Friskies out because you’re about to take a 666 ride with this demon kitty. “Hell’s Kitty” is original a web series created by Tana that began all the way back from 2011 to 2015 and, since then, has been immensely popular through the inter-webs with the extra special casts of genre vets ranging from “The Hills Have Eyes'” Michael Berryman to “The Fog’s” Andrienne Barbeau. From the web series, the episodes were pieced together, forming one hairball adventure of Nicholas and his demon cat, Angel.

Aforementioned, Nicholas Tana headlines as himself because, essentially, “Hell’s Kitty” is based off true events of his turmoiled love life. Series regulars also become essential players in the film, such as Nicholas’s downstairs loafing neighbor and best friend Adam (Adam Rucho), Lisa Graves (Lisa Younger of “Cold Creepy Feelings”), and Dr. Laurie Strodes (Nina Kate of “Snake Club: Revenge of the Snake Women”). Then, there’s a slew of special guests that, at times, pay homage to the works that made them household names in horror or relating genres. Special guests that include “Children of the Corn’s” John Franklin and Courtney Gains semi-reprising their roles as Isaiah and Mordicia. Lynn Lowry (“The Crazies”), Doug Jones (“The Shape of Water”), Bill Oberst Jr. (“Coyote”), Kelli Maroney (“Night of the Comet”), Dale Midkiff (“Pet Sematary”), Lee Meriweather (Catwoman from “Batman” television series), Victoria De Mare (“Killjoy” franchise), and porn star goddess, and legend, Nina Hartley (“Pleasure Maze”)! That’s one heavy-hitting lineup! As a cherry on top, even a Killer Klown, you know, the ones from Outer Space, made an appearance!

If a viewer didn’t know of or research into “Hell’s Kitty” web series past, the thought of low-budget junk just might scroll across a judgmental mindset. Let’s be honest for a second; “Hell’s Kitty” is grade-A camp with schlocky special effects and the editing quality of a ramshackle shackled ram. Along with the unique cast being intertwined into the story, other aspects of the Frankenstein-glued together film, such as the sharp pivoting subplots, stir up Nicholas ever so chaotic life into a new and interesting fold. From his fruitless sex life with various attractive women to the friend who always makes himself welcome in Nicholas’s apartment, Nicholas only has one consistent thing in his life and that is his relationship with the cat from hell and that journey is explored from episode-to-episode that climaxes with an ultra-drag musical rendition of something out of the “Birdcage.” Another quality to watch for, and enjoy, are the homages to fan favorites like “Children of the Corn” and “Killer Klowns From Outer Space” as mentioned before, “The Exorcist,” and “Psycho.”

MVDVisual and Wild Eye Releasing presents the Smart Media LLC,. production of “Hell Kitty,” as a whole, on DVD home video that’s visually subpar when considering the quality. The low bitrate crudely displays blotchy image quality, leaving details to the waist side. The 5.1 surround sound is the best attribute to the DVD with clear dialogue and a modest soundtrack. There are no extras included aside for the film’s trailer. While technically incompetent, “Hell’s Kitty” meows murderously onto DVD in a cultivation of cult actors and hellacious comedy by writer-director Nicholas Tana that does sometimes feel rehashed or borrowed from previous films, but the quirky evil pet element gnaws on an inner layer to be enjoyed and enthralled in a day-and-a-life of one man’s skewed, if not deranged, version of events of a lackluster romantic lifestyle blamed toward one jealous feline.

Add “Hell’s Kitty” to your collection!

DVD/Blu-ray Announcement: “Children of the Corn: Runaway!”

You can’t keep these damn kids out of the corn fields! If you didn’t know this, “Children of the Corn: Runaway” is the 9th installment in this undying Stephen King spawned franchise and was helmed by “Feast’s” John Gulager!

Here’s the press release from Lionsgate:

PROGRAM DESCRIPTION
From director John Gulager (Piranha 3DD, Feast) comes a horrifying new chapter in the Children of the Corn series when Children of the Corn: Runaway arrives on Blu-ray™ (plus Digital), DVD, Digital, and On Demand March 13 from Lionsgate. Based on the original story “Children of the Corn” by Stephen King, the tenth installment of the legendary horror series follows a young woman who can’t escape her nightmarish past. Written by Joel Soisson (Children of the Corn: Genesis, Dracula 2000), the Children of the Corn: Runaway Blu-ray and DVD will be available for the suggested retail price of $21.99 and $19.98, respectively.

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS
Children of the Corn: Runaway tells the story of young, pregnant Ruth, who escapes a murderous child cult in a small Midwestern town. She spends the next decade living anonymously in an attempt to spare her son the horrors that she experienced as a child. Ruth and her son end up in a small Oklahoma town, but something is following her. Now, she must confront this evil or lose her child.

BLU-RAY/DVD/DIGITAL HD SPECIAL FEATURES
· Deleted Scene

CAST
Marci Miller (“About Abigail,” “Viper,” The Ringer of Rimachi)
Lynn Andrews (“Borderlines 2” the Video Game, “Ghost of Goodnight Lane”
Mary Kathryn Bryant (“Hellraiser: Judgment”)
Jake Ryan Scott (“Bunnyman Vengeance,” “Warning Label”)