Don’t Mess with Texas Unless You’re EVIL Going Up Against “Shanghai Joe” reviewed! (Cauldron Films / Blu-ray)

East Doesn’t Just Meet the West, It Kicks It’s Ass in “Shanghai Joe!”

A Chinese immigrant arrives into San Francisco looking to begin a life as an American cowboy.  Met with extreme prejudice, he pushes forward to avoid the Western stereotypes of his race by taking a stagecoach to anywhere Texas in order to become a true-to-form Cowboy.  Mocking monikered Shanghai Joe, even in Texas Joe is met with bigoted resistance in every way and in every exchange with the locals despite his uncanny fighting, intellect, and horse-riding skills that are far superior to his meanspirited rivals who think of him nothing more than a dumb foreigner.  When Joe become inadvertently involved with human traffickers and slave owners of downtrodden Mexicans, Joe aims to set things right against an oppressive and murderous rancher named Spencer who runs the entire region.  Spencer knows his usual hired posse can’t match the supernatural abilities of Joe and hires out the $5,000 bounty to the four most cunning and ruthless killers that will seek Joe’s head as well as possibly commit other atrocities to him for the sole joy of it.

The sun rises on the dawn of the East Meeting the West with “Shanghai Joe” at the center   of subgenre.  The Italian made spaghetti western helmed by “Nightmare Castle” and “Nazi Love Camp 27” director Mario Caiano who exhibits what happens when an unstoppable force hits an immovable object as quick hands and feet of the Asian East combat with the quick gunslinging showdowns of the American West.  Penned by Caiano alongside Carlo Albert Alfieri (“Sodoma’s Ghost”) and Fabrizio Trifone Trecca, credited as T.F. Karter, “Il mio nome è Shangai Joe” or “The Fighting Fists of Shanghai Joe,” as the film is originally entitled in Italian, keeps true to the graphic and vehement violence that ultimately lacked from the U.S. Western and sought to bring a martial arts foreigner into the fold of brute and barbarity as Kung-Fu flicks were up-and-coming with the rise of Bruce Lee and the Italian wanted a piece of that cinematic success without having to spend a fortune of turning sets appear oriental when already built saloons, corals, and spittoons were a plentifully available from previous films.  Producers Renato Angiolini and Robert Bessi serve under the production companies Compagnia Cinematografica Champion (“Torso”) and C.B.A. Produttori e Distributori Associati (“Emergency Squad”).

Leave it to the Italians to make a Western set in Texas and to have protagonist Chinese hero be played by a Japanese actor.  Performing under the stage name of Chen Lee, the Aichi, Japan born actor’s real name is Myoshin Hayakawa and he plays the role of Chin Hao, a nomadic Chinese immigrant, taught the rare fighting ways of an ancient martial arts, travels to America in hopes to reside in the American dream.  Lee’s certainly a presence on screen in his quiet and reserve composure but equally as self-assured and as competent to take on the worst-of-the-worst in the exploitative West where law has yet to reach it’s firm grasping hand.  Lee lands fight sequences with fierce finesse, though perhaps not on a Bruce Lee level, but does it so with his own distinct style of chopsocky flair with laws of physics breaking gliding through the air and tremendous accuracy in all areas of throwing weapons, even hyperbolizing his Yo-yo as a coconut splitting, head-cracking weapon.  When not wiggling his way out of impossible no-win situations with smarts and strength and when it comes to the interests of romantics, Chin comes to find solace being twisted into a paired fate with Mexican national Christina, played by Italian actress Carla Romanelli (“Lesbo”), after saving her father from being executed. As if destined to fall in love at first sight, the two outlanders are in each other’s embrace but before anything could be commutated by any sense of the term, head honcho rancher Mr. Spencer (Pierro Lulli, “Django Kill… If You Live, Shoot!”) hires out assassins to relieve him of a troublesome Shanghai Joe. The killers are just as colorful and individualizes as the titular character with quirky personalities and traits that make them indubitably daunting by their mere nicknames: Pedro, the Cannibal (Robert Hundar, “Cut-Throat Nine”), Burying Sam (Gordon Mitchell, “Evil Spawn”), Tricky the Gambler (Giacomo Rossi Stuart, “The Night Evelyn Came Out of Her Grave”), and Scalper Jack (Klaus Kinski, “Nosferatu the Vampyre). The eclectic bunch of Western-horror tropes level out Shanghai Joe’s uncanny abilities with their own big penchants for demise but the actors behind the characters also have bigger personalities, especially Kinski who is only in the film for a few scenes but is second billed in both before and after credits. “Shanghai Joe” fills out the cast with Dante Maggio, Andrea Aureli, George Wang, and another Japanese actor and martial arts master, Katsutoshi Mikuriya, as the showdown villain trained in the same ancient combat arts as Chin but turned his back against the teachings’ moral principles for his own greed.

Plot pointed by a series of bad case scenarios to showcase Shanghai Joe’s superior skillset as not only a fighter, but also an intelligent, almost con-like, mentalist as well as being good at just about everything else, the film is laced with repetitive derogatoriness from all races except white.  “Shanghai Joe’s” indelicacies, coupled with graphic, moderately bloodied violence, adds to the laundry list of idiosyncrasies of this unique old West spectacle.  The Caiano and team’s scripted narrative exacts the epitome of the label the Wild West where the unexplored, uncultured, and uncivilized country gives way to lawlessness and opportunity, especially the latter at the expense of others.  Joe becomes a beacon of moral hope, a foreigner who seeks, by way of a semi forced hand, to correct the system from within using his rare training only as a position of defensiveness or to right a terrible injustice.  Caiano has the eye to make a legitimate Italian spaghetti western that hits all the hallmarks and the director can also fashion a two-prong narrative with a unified purpose that builds up the hero first with a series of outlaw confrontations before immersing him into a rigorous roughhouse recruited by the rotten rancher.  While each face-off spars differently, Caiano letting the actors build upon and have fun in their villainy, the ultimately take the place of the tip of the spear antagonist, rancher Stanley Spencer, who doesn’t get what’s owed him by the roll of the end credits.  The high-flying combat wires, that you can plainly see during the air time fight sequences, and the personal and frame stylistic choices of the actors and Caiano tend to distract viewers from the unfinished business, concluding on a satisfactory note that what we just experienced was felicitously violent, engrossingly entertainable with appealing characters, and just waggish enough to provide levity amongst the harsh racism and the aforesaid brutality. 

“Shanghai Joe” is a must-have, must-see Italian Western for the subgenre aficionado and, luckily, Cauldron Films delivers the 1973 film onto Blu-ray for the first time ever in North America. The AVC encoded BD50 is presented in high definition, 1080p, with a widescreen aspect ratio of 2.35:1 of a 2K restoration scan from the original 35mm negative. Cauldron Films’ restoration is a labor of love for an atypical western of the obscure nature with a generous tactile intensification to bring the warm dust of the tumbleweed West down upon the anomalist Asian in a blue Tang suit and pants with a conical hat. A few and very faint scratches are the only issues observed that come and go as quickly as they came, but the there’s a nice richness to the coloring, a natural grain, and zero compression issues or unnecessary enhancements detected. The DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0 mono comes in two options – An English dub and an Italian dub. Preferably, I went with the English dub over the Italian despite “Shanghai Joe” being an Italian production. For one, Myoshin Hayakawa spoke English which you can tell by reading his lips so the English track paired better. Secondly, the Italian track is quite orotund to the point of losing some minor ambient detail as well as not feeling to be a part of the whole package team. Slight hissing at times during dialogued scenes but the clarity comes through with the decent dub pronunciations and the chopsocky ài yas are often repeated in the same audio tone and level in every evasive or attack flight by Joe but is not ostentatiously annoying. “Marquis de Sade Justine’s” Bruno Nicolai and his twangy score, channeling his best Ennio Morricone, has great purpose as “Shanghai Joe’s” main theme that rowels up and shapes Joe’s hero role. English and English SDH subtitles are available. The special features include an interview with Master Katsutoshi Mikuriya on how he was approached for the role and the martial artists also discusses the fight sequences in Samurai Spirit, film historian Eric Zaldivar puts together a visual essay with the topic East Meets West: Italian Style, an audio commentary by Mike Hauss from “The Spaghetti Western Digest,” the original trailer, and an image gallery. The physical portions of the release include a translucent Blu-ray snapper with a reversible cover art featuring two stylishly illustrative posters in contrast to the simple disc art of the red “Shanghai Joe” title set upon a black background. The early 70’s feature comes not rated, has a runtime of 98 minutes, and is region A locked. “Shanghai Joe’s” singularity scores high on the limited East meets West subgenre novelty but certainly aces as a versatile Kung-fu period piece with ridiculously good fight scenes, a handful of callously charming characters, and a disparaged hero, who embodies the good in all of us, you can gladly cheer for from beginning to end.

East Doesn’t Just Meet the West, It Kicks It’s Ass in “Shanghai Joe!”

Bruce Lee Fought EVIL for Justice. Mark Swetland Follows Lee’s Footsteps in “Blood and Steel” reviewed! (SRS Cinema / DVD)

Hiyah! “Blood and Steel” – the Lost Kung-Fu Film now on DVD!  

The brutal murder of his sister and her husband sends Mark Swetland into a vengeful fury.  Behind the heinous act, a drug smuggling organization, using a steel fabricating warehouse and a dojo school as a front, had sent a merciless assassin to take out Mark’s sister after a previous incident with the organization’s personnel that could bring down the whole drug shipment operation.  As Mark investigates for answers and track down those responsible, he’s greeted with hostility and uses his extensive martial arts experience, and a little help from a few of his closest allies, to bring the syndicate down once and for all, but the cruelty conscious conspirators don’t plan to go down without a fight as they kidnap Mark’s girlfriend and hire a mercenary fighter to bring the fight to them on their own terms. 

If you’re a martial arts film connoisseur or just an aficionado of the action-packed genre, here’s an obscure title from 1990 you desperately need to get your hands on, today if at all possible!  “Blood and Steel” is the Bruce Lee dedicated crime and martial arts actioner from producer, writer, and director, Mark Swetland.  Yes, Mark Swetland plays himself, Mark Swetland, as the unstoppable, vengeful vigilante hero in his own production that pits him going solo against a scumbag kingpin and his narcotic import-export empire.  Only recently discovered after being lost for decades, “Blood and Steel” breathes fresh 2023 air with a new DVD release and institutes a brand new, never-before-heard maxim, created by yours truly, of though white men can’t jump, they can certainly Kung-Fu.  Perms, handlebar mustaches, and tight fitting and unappealing fashion grace the screen as nunchakus and hook kicks pave the way for this seriously gratifying choreographed Kung-Fu spectacular to be resurrected from the cache of forgotten films of the cinematic cemetery, shot in and around upstate New York complete with the N.Y. accented, short-a phonological vernacular.

Mark Swetland, proprietor of a safe and vault cracking company in Cheektowage, New York, was once a martial arts instructor.  At the current age of 62, Mark has looked to cracking open safes instead of cracking open heads with his mixed martial art skills but Swetland also once dappled in film, developing his own low-budget Kung-Fu caper, inspired by his martial arts idol, the late and legendary Bruce Lee.   Ponying up much of the funds for what would be “Blood and Steel,” Mark poured every ounce of his soul and craft into the film that displays his range as a fighter as well as getting his chops busted in delivering lines and acting out emotions.  The former was more of his forte with asserting a magnetic presence as both an onscreen fighter and a competent choreographer to have the fight sequences appear realistic and quick against a slew of antagonistic opponents.  As a thespian, Mark often borrows too heavily from Bruce Lee with overzealous fist poses to even echoing Lee’s idiosyncratic short and elongated kiai sounds.    Swetland’s one-on-one scene with fellow martial artist David Bobnik, as the hired hitman Steiner, is well thought out coordination with lighting punch-kick combinations that would rival the best genre films of its time.  Neither Swetland or Bobnik are overly muscularly cut bodybuilders or the zero percent body fat of Bruce Lee’s rail frame as both men are in an ideal, physically fit shape to add to scenes test of time and doesn’t yell amateur hour of wannabe martial artist attempting half-hearted roundhouse kicks for their low budget movie.  “Blood and Steel” round out with a cast that includes Joanne Gargliardo as Mark’s girlfriend, David Male as drug kingpin Mr. Patterson, Elaine Arnone as the slain sister, Diane Zdarksky as the sister’s best friend, Rick Swetland as the sister’s slain husband, and cinematographer Al McCracken has the role of Mark’s best friend and sidekick to the end, Roy. 

Influenced by quintessential Bruce Lee films, “Blood and Steel” is entirely an homage to the exceptional action icon.  Mark Swetland’s film derives elements from “Enter the Dragon” with a plotline of the protagonists’ sister being killed by a drug trafficking enterprise as well as straight down to Mark Swetland’s yellow tracksuit, the same Bruce Lee wears in “Game of Death” with black lines down the arms and legs.  Despite the derivative aspects, Swetland still manages to output an entertaining reel in what has resulted as a passion project that has been stowed away and forgotten only to be unearthed as a transmogrified time capsule of awesomeness.  Swetland, who wore many productional hats, also edited, scored, and did sound design with a fair amount of adequate know-how.  Transitionally between scenes, “Blood and Steel” works to segue into the next scene with various connective images or fade away dissolve without appearing abrupt or muddled.  The additional Foley work, such as the whipping sound of the nunchakus, are done on a synthesizer with an unquestionable audio yield.   “Blood and Steel” has a little bit of everything that is very indicative of a Bruce Lee actioner.  Dirt bike chases that soar from off of a cliff into an exploding heap at the bottom of a ravine, forward and reverse car chases involving a 80’s Corvette Stinger, practical effects from throats being cut to spike cleats becoming lodged into the back of skulls, ridiculous over-the-head, over-the-knee backbreaking fatalities, helicopter entrances over the colossal Niagara Falls, shotgun squib explosions, and much, much more blood-churning excitement can engage the viewer into “Blood and Steel’s” edge of your seat conflict. 

Emerging victorious as a SRS Cinema home video release is the obscure revenge-action thriller “Blood and Steel” on DVD.  Presented in the boxy 1.33:1 aspect ratio, the standard definition 720p resolution, plus the type of camera being used seen in the bonus feature’s outtakes and the impurity characteristics of the image quality, all point to a super 8 shot feature.  Lined left with barely visible sprocket holes and occasionally lined right, a visible magnetic audio strip, often blue in hue, “Blood and Steel” is without a shadow of a doubt a glorified home movie in the right hands of Mark Swetland.  The washed look is a tell sign of no overlay grading, the tri-color emulsion layer remains as the original, natural grading, creating less shadowy contrast but remaining consistent and more-or-less delineated.  The English, single-channel mono track is about as flat as a pancake, if a pancake could make noise.  With hardly any depth, a steady crackling throughout, and depending on the camera mic placement in the shot, some scenes’ dialogue can barely be heard under what sounds like a soft breath or mumble while others are clearly audible and render no issue with understandability. SRS Cinema’s special features include a Fight Analysis with Mark Swetland and David Bobnik going over scene-by-scene, sometimes in slow-motion repeat, their fight sequences and explaining in commentary fashion how the crew set that all it up. Also included are outtakes, the original trailer, the new trailer, and other SRS trailers! The physical DVD sports the original “Blood and Steel” poster plastered inside a standard DVD case of an 80’s retro-rental mockup with color-coded round stickers of the genre action and of the Please be Kind & Rewind phrase. The disc art is a blowup of Mark Swetland from the original poster art. The film runs at a brisk 87 minutes, is region free, and is not rated. “Blood and Steel” has the independent spirit of the dragon, a fierce and fire-breathing martial arts film with fervent laudation for the late Bruce Lee, and is a white knight knockaround and Kung-Fu Flick that is vengeance glorious.

Hiyah! “Blood and Steel” – the Lost Kung-Fu Film now on DVD!  

Romance and Chinese Boxing Don’t Equal EVIL and That’s Okay! “Gorgeous” reviewed! (88 Films / Blu-ray)

Fall in Love with “Gorgeous” on Blu-ray at Amazon.com!

Bu believes in true love.  The young Taiwanese girl, with immense positivity, travels from her small fishing village of Jibei to the big city of Hong Kong after discovering a bottle containing a romantic note floating in the sea.  When Bu is let down by the originating sender, a gay makeup artist in an attempt to use fate and fortune to bring back an ex-lover, she strikes up a friendship with him which leads to a wealthy business owner and Chinese boxing enthusiast C.N. Chan who serendipitously comes into her life.  With a well-known reputation of being a rake, Bu pretends to be a prominent ex-lover of a notorious crime boss in order to not be taken advantage of as she slowly falls for Chan’s playful charm.  A longtime rival businessman causes conflict by driving a wedge between Bu and Chan as fight training intensifies after losing to his rival’s hired professional fighter and Chan loses sight of what’s really important in life – happiness.  

International martial artists superstar Jackie Chan makes his debut on our little boutique review blog for his Hong Kong cult film, the 1999 romantic comedy with stellar fight sequences, “Gorgeous.”  “Forbidden City Cop” writer-director Vincent Kok teams up with Yiu Fai Lo and the “Rush Hour” star to pen a new kind of story for the stuntman and martial artists that would put a roundhouse kick of insecurities onto any action star’s chin.  Based on the Ivy Ho (“The Accidental Spy”) story, “Gorgeous” involves more than just punches, kicks, and high-flying antics with a comedy romance story about two very different people and perspectives finding commonality in unflinching happiness, joy, and love.  Jackie Chan does comedy very well but the comedy in “Gorgeous” is half non-physical, which the action star has mastered the craft by integrating into his physical model.  “Gorgeous” is a production of Golden Harvest Productions and is produced by Jackie Chan and then Golden Harvest president the late Raymond Chow.

Obviously, you can’t have a Jackie Chan movie without high-level martial arts action.  In the same breath, Jackie Chan wanted to give his Asian fans another movie after the tremendous success of “Rush Hour” that sent the longtime East-adored icon into global stardom.  Thus, “Gorgeous” was born, developed, and rewritten to add Jackie Chan as the lead character, playboy and business tycoon C.N. Chan, alongside costar Shu Qi of “Sex and Zen II” and “The Transporter” with Jason Statham.  As Bu, Qi develops a starry-eyed longing for unequivocal romance that you can only find in fairytales and storybooks as she is confronted by the puppy dog eyes of the local fishing boy proclaiming his love for her only to be rejected by Qi’s downplayed naivety that makes her appear to be the village simpleton.   Yet, the character is surrounded by a carefree comedic mom-and-dad of beer-drinking restaurant owners, Sung-Young Chen (“Hello Dracula”) and Elaine Jin (“The House That Never Dies”).  As a flirtatious couple of Bu’s hopeless romanticism driven by the signs and kismet and Chan’s all-business, no-play waning for a girl to be childlike to bring out the dormant happiness inside him, Jackie Chan and Shu Qi manage to never close that gap to fully immerse themselves as onscreen love interests in their 80’s structured amorous narrative and go get’em montage.   Where “Gorgeous” charisma lies is with Chan’s mano-on-mano dual with Jackie Chan’s hired member of his stuntman team, Brad Allan.  The former Australian gymnast and Chinese circus acrobat has a towering magnetism about him despite only standing 5’4” tall, shorter than Jackie Chan.  The fight sequences between the two nimble men with incredible speed and form, mirror each other with precision in their own individual styles, garner some the best one-on-one choreographed bouts ever to hit the screen and to be felt by the audiences with hard-hitting throws.  While the impact of the Chinese boxing is palpable, Chan and Allen pepper in lighter moments of great physical comedy that take the intensity down a notch in a welcoming reprieve from solemn combat.  That solemnity in Allen’s character is greatly received and adds to his magnetic appeal that doesn’t make the mercenary fighter a bad guy though hired by the antagonist (Emil Chau, “Super Cop 2”) of the story; instead, Allen’s fair without pulling punches and without dirty tricks, as he mentions to Chan to avoid, and we end up rooting for both men’s dignified square up being battled not in a square ring.  Tony Leung Chiu-wai (“Internal Affairs”), Ken Lo (“Holy Virgin vs. The Evil Dead”), Tats Lau (“Dating Death”), Richie Jen (“Tales from the Occult”), Siu Wai Cheung, and “Kung Fu Hustle’s” Stephen Chow costar.

While “Gorgeous” may not be evil in the least for our conversational liking and our in-depth coverage with its abundance of lighthearted goodness, romanticized ideals, and slapstick comedy, the turn of a century film has cult qualities with shoddy 90’s effects, intricate fight choreographies, and eclectic, eccentric performances that make the Hong Kong-Taiwan product standup and standout to be noticed.  The fight sequences alone swallow much of the attention and overwhelm a rather flimsy passionate plotline between C.N. Chan and Bu in what stirs between feels more platonic than desire.  “Gorgeous” attempts, and succeeds to a version of a successful end, a theme about positivity and happiness and how that brightness can be diminished by deceits, workaholism, and distracting contentions, sucking the joy from out of life and spitting out a solitude bitterness without any kind of understanding of how it all happened.  We see this more in the dynamics of business rivals Chan and L.W. Lo, two childhood friends driven apart by their subjective comparisons as they try to top one another, culminating from their back-and-forth to see who is the best at everything into the realization that their bond was ultimately worth more than success at material things.  This enriching theme, plus Jackie Chan’s stunt team work, pushes asides the infatuation glop of Chan and Bu’s playful childlike intimacy that just seems to slip through your fingers, unable grasp traction to be interesting enough.

“Gorgeous” receives an 88 Films’ 2K overhaul with a Blu-ray upgrade from the original film materials of the Hong Kong & International versions of the film, delivering two cuts in high definition 1080p and presented in an anamorphic widescreen 2.35:1 aspect ratio.  The AVC encoded BD50 offers plenty of room for “Gorgeous” to look, well, gorgeous on hi-def with a vibrant, spotless transfer of the 35mm shot print.   Coloring is consistently stable and rejuvenated for a fresh picture image; no one-off blips or glitches on the grading in sight on this very azure and teal toned production.  Despite holding two features and a handful of extras, the dual-layered single disc offers no hint of compression issues, creating a smooth beginning to end viewing.  The Hong Kong cut comes with a Cantonese DTS-HD 5.1 MA while the International Cut comes with the same as well as an English DTS-HD 5.1 dub track.  For authenticity purposes, the original native language is always the preferred choice and the Cantonese track on the HK cut simply shines with an orotund dialogue track, robust milieu and ambience, and a blended bubbly and businesslike score whenever the mood hits by Dan-yee Wong.  Balanced and kept in the check, neither track overtakes the other with a timely parallel consonance.  The newly translated English subtitles are paced well with error-free transcription.  Special features include Shy Guy – Andy Cheng, a member of Jackie Chan’s stunt team, discusses the rise of Brad Allen as well as note on the stunt team in general and Jackie Chan’s success at the time of “Gorgeous,” an interview with director Vincent Kok on Chan’s unfamiliar territory into romantic comedies, an archived making-of “Gorgeous” with raw and behind-the-scenes footage and interviews, “Gorgeous” music video in Cantonese and Mandarin, and the Hong Kong and International trailers.  The limited edition slipcover feature is a cardboard o-slip with illustrative art from 88 Films graphic artist Sean Longmore overtop a 2 to 3 millimeter thicker Blu-ray snapper to house the 32-page color booklet with daily set report of “The Accidental Spy” by writer Matthew Edwards and behind the-scene photos, a dual-sided mini-poster of Longmore’s slipcover art and the original poster one-sheet, a disc pressed with the image of Shu Qi smiling, and reversible cover art with the original poster one-sheet and a couple of “Gorgeous” stills joined together on one half.  Each cut is drastically different in length with the international cut heavily trimmed at 99 minutes while the HK cut keeps unedited at 2 hours.  Both features are not rated and are both have a region A and B playback with C untested.  Jackie Chan has always been a pillar of entertainment and “Gorgeous” is no exception to the rule.  88 Films refreshes the now 24-year-old film with a new, exciting transfer and physical package that commits one of the best fights in cinematic history to hi-def.

Fall in Love with “Gorgeous” on Blu-ray at Amazon.com!

EVIL Strikes with Thousands of Disastrous, Deadly Fangs! “Calamity of Snakes” reviewed! (Unearthed Films / Blu-ray)

Save the Date!  “Calamity of Snakes” Slithers onto Blu-ray and DVD!  Available at Amazon!

A greedy, time-is-money land developer pushes his project manager and structural architect to complete his condo building earlier than scheduled, even if that means to cut corners.  While digging to lay the structure’s foundation, a massive pit of deadly snakes is unearthed.  With no times to waste, the land developer orders the mass killing of the snakes by the crew and even takes matters into his own hand using a backhoe as a weapon against the wishes of more sensible architect.  Those who are karma-included and God-fearing believe the mass murder of the snakes will result in retribution with fears being validated when workers fall victim to random snake attacks.  Shrugging it off as superstition mumbo-jumbo, the land developer finishes marvelous residential condo and fills the units in record numbers.  His success becomes the tenant’s death trap who can’t escape the swarming thousands of deadly slithery serpents infesting every nook and cranny and climbing toward his penthouse, seeking revenge against the snakebit developer’s cruelty and greed. 

Warning.  If you have a severely crippling phobia of snakes, then do not press play on “Calamity of Snakes” or you’ll be crying in the fetal position for hours afterwards with imaginational visions of venomous serpents dangling around your neck and arms, clinging to your punctured flesh with their sharp, tapered fangs. Trust me.  I know from experience after having watched the William Chang Kee (Chi Chang) creature feature and going into the viperous vengeance film with my own form of sweat-inducing ophidiophobia, an extreme fear of snakes.  Kee’s 1982 production comes with a bit of notoriety that may put the film in hot water with Peta or other animal rights organization, it also may be a silver lining for those petrified by the carnivorous reptilians that lurk underfoot, but don’t worry, from Unearthed Films news board, the home entertainment distribution company pledges to donate a percentage of the “Calamity of Snakes’” sale profits to the Save the Snakes, an organization that aims to converse and repopulate all species of snake around the world.  Penned by Kee with cowriters Kang-Nien Li (“The Lady Avenger”) and Kuo Jung Tsai (“Crouching Tiger, Hidden Drago”), The Chinese film made in Taiwan, “Calamity of Snakes” wriggles to-and-fro between different genre elements with pieces of horror, martial arts, and comedy packed so tightly together that making diamond shaped heads and rattling tails difficult to define the kind of film Kee intended to convey, but what came to fruition fabulously depicts the can-do attitudes of developing a preposterous idea into something insane, terrifying, and effectuated with countless real snakes.  Chi He Film Company and the Hong-Kong based Kee Woo Film Co. serve as the production companies with Tsai-Ching Wang producing and Golden Sun Films (“Dr. Lamb”) distributing.

Despite the animal cruelty, which undoubtedly can’t be ignored, you have to give credit to the Chinese for their willingness to do just about anything in order to get the shot.  If that means two of the actors’ role violently around on a floor covered with live snakes, screaming their heads off, then they certainly have more cojones than I ever will.  From a recent interview I watched with Michelle Yeoh, the “Everything Everywhere All At Once” Academy Award winning actress describe the Chinese film industry of the 1980s to be stunt demanding and really did lack the strict safety standards when compared to the U.S.  “Calamity of Snakes” appears to be no different with the easily handling of cobras and an overall serpent magnitude that can’t be denied. Yun-Peng Hsiang stars as the young, U.S.-studied architect with a sensible and rational head on top of his shoulders, overcome with the feeling that his dealings with the unscrupulous land developer (Yuen Kao) and the two passive aggressively buttheads throughout the narrative that eventually lends to the developer getting what he wants by way of money, power, and backdoor dealings that denotes an allegory of affluence being blind to the perceptible cause-and-effect dangers ahead while the studiously educated are left ignored, exploited for their talents. “Calamity of Snakes” cast rounds out with Lui Cheung, Ying Lee, Tung-Min Huang, Ying Lee, Pei-Ying Lo, and Ping-Ou Wei as the land developer’s chucklehead assistant.

“Calamity of Snakes'” hardest part to digest is the disgusting display of snake homicide. In what becomes a grouping of three scenarios that are just scene after scene of killing snakes by the hacks of machetes, the release of mongoose going right for the head of the snake, and in a blaze of flame throwing fire, cruelty is terribly too integrated into the pericardium encased heart of Kee’s ecohorror and makes the snake outdoor market delicatessen scene that dispatches a cobra for use of consumption that much more palatable despite the graphic skinning, organ removal, and blood draining for a special drink cocktail that can supposedly cure what ails you. Down the hatch! After the ginormous scenes of genocide, rooting for the snakes to bite back against the unbridled cruelty of humans to come crashing down in a heap of revenge-seeking serpents is a sight of satisfactory glory. Kee, also known for his cheap but fast-paced martial arts films, creates a loose hierarchy amongst the ophidians by fabricating a boa constrictor that can kung-fu with the best human snake whisperer. The showdown scene takes flight with the constrictor whipping through the air using its large, serpentine tail as a formidable blunt object and its body to innately crush the life out of foes. In contrasts, the chop-socky, though wonderfully fast-paced and choreographed, is a bit out of place with a flying, unrealistic boa against the real slithering slitherers creeping along the floors and walls, decorating the rooms with slick, shiny scales that encircle terror around frantic condominium residents and the boss-level land developer who unsheathes a katana in another scene of snake cleaving in slow motion.

The day of the snake is here and now, on a high definition 1080p, AVC encoded, Special Edition Blu-ray from Unearthed Films as part of the boutique distributor’s Unearthed Classics sublabel and slotted at number 12 on the spine. The primary feature is presented in a widescreen 2.35:1 aspect ratio with a genuine digitized effort toward the best possible 2K scan rendition of the photograph film source print. There’s not a ton of wear, tear, or much of anything regarding damage aside from a few vertical scratches. Delineation is consistent with delivering characters and snakes transposed clearly, but often you might see the boa constrictor scenes share a softer exposure because of that accelerated camera work with the martial arts. Color reproduction does maintain a certain image fidelity, but the grading comes off placid, never giving the snake, or snakes, a chance to gleam a venomous glare with those eyelid-less and verticalized wide-angle seeing eyes. The original elements offer little to work with, but the Unearthed Films’ release is still top-notch work in delivering the best possible picture. The Mandarin, Cantonese, and English dub PCM mono 1.0 provide the typical options available when released in Taiwan decades ago; In fact, they’re all scratch tracks but I went with the Mandarin track that synchs not too adversely to viewing pleasure. With the mono, dub track, depth is done before it can even get started but “Calamity of Snakes” has immense range that conveys the whooshing actions of living things flying through the air during fight sequences, flamethrowers singe the very audible air, and the Foley keeps up to any and all actions with a more than satisfactory overlay track. Dialogue being the important aspect of anything film is fine here being in the forefront and clean albeit some moderate background crackling-static throughout. English subtitles are available and discern no issues with pacing or with spelling slips but there is a sense of something lost in translation as the dynamic discourse seesaws in an irregular way that feels forced and unnatural. Unearthed Films doesn’t just deliver one version of the film, the company offers two more edits for equality. If you’re not one for animal cruelty, a cruelty free version is available that omits the snake snuff. Also, the theatrical edit is a censored version, but Unearthed Films does include the 4:3 uncut, unrestored versions that adds back in prolonged sex acts and one very brief nudity scene. A From Shaw to Snake: The Venom And Violence of Early Chinese Language Horror Cinema brings back some key far East scholars, such as Calum Waddel, and new academic faces with Dr. Lin Feng, to discuss the background limbotic tug-a-war of Taiwan between the democratic island and mainland China that also morphs into the rising of Shaw Brothers’ films in the mid-20 century to eventually Golden Sun’s competitive rise, and subsequently the Shaw Brothers’ as well, into the kitschy crowd favorites of the horror genre. Reptilian Recollections: Lin Kuang-Yung In Conversation With Chui-Yi Chung converses in an interview with Lin Kuang-Yung recalling moments from production involving the countless number of snakes and the safety assurances with the cast and crew, despite some being bit a few times. The special features round out with a commentary track with Nathan Hamilton and Brad Slaton, alternate opening and ending credits, and a still gallery. The physical portions of the release come with a traditional Blu-ray snapper case inside a cardboard o-slip with the original Thai poster art by illustrator Kham, provided by the M. Wright Collection. The same poster art is used for the disc art as well. Inside the snapper case lies no insert or reverse cover art. The region A locked Blu-ray clocks the feature presentation in at 96 minutes and is not rated. “Calamity of Snakes’ is the original “Snakes on a Plane” of the 1980’s, a coiling revenge plotted by nature with potent venom and disturbing imagery that deserves to be a classic in its own right soon to once again see the light of day on DVD and Blu-ray come April 25 from Unearthed Films.

Save the Date!  “Calamity of Snakes” Slithers onto Blu-ray and DVD!  Available at Amazon!

Sheen and Estevez Take Out the EVIL Trash! “Men at Work” reviewed! (MVD / Blu-ray)

“Men at Work” Now Available on a MVD Visual Blu-ray at Amazon.com

Garbagemen James and Carl are California dreamers, scoping out babes, riding the surf, and fantasizing about opening their own surf shop business one day.  Their day job goes against the grain of their live loose lifestyle, but when they discover a dead body in a trash can, the same dead body that was arguing with a beautiful woman in the building across the street and Carl shot in the butt with a pellet gun the night before, James and Carl no longer have the luxury of fun and games.  Their probational, ride along observer, a crazed combat veteran named Louis, doesn’t add to trash-slinging surfers’ comfort other than noting the strangulation marks around the neck, proving their innocence of a pellet gun murder.  The three men go into investigation mode and Carl infiltrates into the woman’s apartment for clues on what really happened but what they get themselves mixed into is manufacturer corruption on the highest level and now they’re in the crossfire and crosshairs of an off-shore, toxic waste dumping crime boss.

Seeing siblings on screen together has always been of great interest to myself because for an actor to grow up with another actor from adolescence, there’s some level of comfortability, trust, and likeminded, on the same wavelength, aptitude in the performance dynamic.  Brothers Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estévez certainly have a cozy dynamic as two laid-back garbagemen in the dark yet zany comedy, “Men at Work,” despite not sharing their Estévez surname.  Of course, this is a 1990 released film and things have changed between them and personally with themselves over the span of 30+ years, but the Emilio Estévez written-and-directed comedy is a snapshot of a relationship pairing that we didn’t see too often.  Sure, we received their performances in other genres, such as head-butting cowboys in the western-action “Young Guns” and as two sleazy pornographic film filmmakers divided by their own greed in the Jim and Artie Mitchell biographical picture, “Rated-X,” but we never again get a quirky, smorgasbord comedy that exhibits their distinct dry humor in one package.  Set on the beautiful shores of California, include Los Angeles, “Men at Work,” is a studio production from the Trans World Entertainment subsidiary label, Epic Productions, under Moshe Diamant (“Commando Squad,” “Ski Patrol”) and is produced by Cassian Elwes (“Mom and Dad,” “Knock Knock”) and Barbara Stordahl.

Safe to say that most audiences are familiar with the likes of Charlie Sheen and Emilo Estévez between their catalogue of rite of passage movies while growing up in the 1980s through the 1990s.  From “Major League” and “Maximum Overdrive” to “Hot Shots” and “Mighty Ducks,” the brothers captured comedy, action, horror, and feel-good films.  “Men at Work” is another one of those nostalgia recognized, yet slightly underrated, comedies that hasn’t necessarily aged well in regard to its comedy.  Sheen and Estévez are wonderfully poised with a pinch of mania performances surrounding a murder mystery, but the comedy has faded like washed out jeans as we’re numb to these types of comedic devices that have used and overused the last three decades.  Keith David, on the other hand, remains just as funny as the day of release as the Vietnam combat-shocked veteran, Louis, who has become James and Karl’s overseer after public complaints.  The “They Live” and “The Thing” actor costars alongside Charlie Sheen four years later after the release of Oliver Stone’s “Platoon,” which begs the question whether Estévez and Sheen are meddling with the cinematic universes just a tad, and David brings the intensity, high-energy, and overwhelming brutishness to “Men at Work’s” rather subdued, off-the-cuff antics of investigation work done by a pair of surfer dudes who have not witnessed the horrors of war.  The disturbing coolness of stride David’s character takes suits him as an angry vet with a penchant to go against authority.  The love interest in this narrative is played by the actress-turned-director Leslie Hope (“Doppelganger,” “Bruiser”) as a dead guy’s political campaign manager who just happened to be at the wrong place, wrong time accidently swapping the incriminating tape with her boss.  Did I mention the dead guy is a politician in bed with crime?  The “Weekend at Bernie’s” performance by Darrell Larson (“Android”) is one for the ages with Larson providing the slacked jaw, rigor mortis poses, and an overall deadpan dead guy.  “The Fly’s” John Getz is a suitable villain Maxwell Potterdam III, as if plucked straight from a comic book, to the quirky comedy despite being a bit hammy at times.  Potterdam’s bicker henchmen Mario (John Lavachielli) and Biff (Rufus funk musician Hawk Wolinski) are better suited to entertainment with distinct personalities that made their interactions dry and spot on funny. The cast fills out with Sy Richardson (“Repo Man”), Troy Evans (“Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers”), Geoffry Blake (“The Last Starfighter”), Cameron Dye (“Out of the Dark”), Dean Cameron (“Summer School”), and John Putch (“Jaws 3-D”) and Tommy Hinkley (“Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation”) as bike cops in a very compromising position.

“Men at Work” is one of those memorable films that teeters between the 80s and the 90s.  Mullets, denim-on-denim, large three-piece suits, and the breeziness of politically incorrect humor genetically makeup “Men at Work’s” guilty-pleasurable and amusing plot anticipatedly driven well by the two principal leads, Sheen and Estevez, who are thrusted into the wrong place at the wrong time scenario as unlikely, joshing heroes, but the stars’ arm-candied, supporting cast of character actors shape and hold together a better lasting picture as with Keith David’s unphased Vietnam veteran, bored with life as it seems during his contentious first impressions with James and Carl, to nudge the garbage-toting friends into action as if he’s spearheading a campaign back in the bush fighting the Vietcong or with the two bickering hit-men who do more damage than damage control with their opposing opinions and tough guy prides.  Estevez’s farce is directed modestly well without the visual cues or styles to assist but rather works in alignment with how Estevez shoots most of his directing gigs with perfectly framed scenes and precision panning that join the foreground, background, and characters together all in one harrowing moment, such as with the pallet gun prank that ends in the murder of the politician, and those kinds of scenes speak for themselves without having to be edited down.  The by-the-numbers pacing builds the story up until a culminating head from the two simple sanitation workers living out their mundane lives with mundane problems to the classic showdown of being outnumbered with Potterdam and his toxic waste dumping henchmen in hazard gear, and though by-the-numbers, the pacing is fairly comfortable and routine, practically natural, without ever feeling forced with the exception of Leslie Hope’s character uncharacteristically, or maybe we’re just not privy of her personal background, lends to her spur of the moment coquettish behavior with Charlie Sheen’s play-dumb, act-dumb surreptitious act in her apartment alone and then out for a late night drive to a beach with him, again alone.  Stranger danger doesn’t apply here in this moment when inviting an unknown into the personal space without the accompany of others to be a safety net and this interaction has a fabricated-feel in moving the story along.

MVD Visual releases “Men at Work” onto Blu-ray in accordance with the distributor’s retro-repository label, the Rewind Collection.  Coming in at 46 on the spine, “Men at Work” transfer is pulled straight from the MGM vault and presented with an AVC encoded, high definition, 1080p resolution in a widescreen 1.85:1 aspect ratio. The MGM transfer transposition into an hi-def BD format doesn’t reflect the full effect of a bigger, better resolution. Image details remains quite soft but the end image quality is definitely still a palatable experience with natural, stable color grading and a suitable sheen (not Charlie Sheen) of the California sun and the night lighting that is often snuffed out by stylistic grading or alternative lighting and tint sources for creative measures. The transfer master remains clear and free of damage and withering wear. The English language LPCM 2.0 stereo projects just that, a two-channel output with a lower bit, and while perhaps not a science-fiction blaster-thon picture, there’s plenty of range opportunity to warrant a hearty audio mix, but the, like the picture quality, the result is negligibly free from imperfections. Dialogue contains no hissing and is clean, clear, and free from any other issues. Optional English, French, and Spanish subtitles are available. Special features has only the theatrical trailer going for it while the physical release bears the bonus material with a reversible, illustrated cover art, a mini poster of the original poster art, and the clear Blu-ray snapper is sheathed in an O-card slipcase doctored up to be retro-stickered with video rental trappings. The PG-13 film has a runtime of 98 minutes and the release is region A locked. One of the first buddy comedies to come out of the early 90s, “Men at Work” has an audience relatable rapport with the film’s stars absorbed into struggling, yet free-spirited blue-collar roles that are unwittingly forced to take on the big, bad evil industry and though the film may have lost its comedy edge, “Men at Work” still manages to be a repeatable watched classic.

“Men at Work” Now Available on a MVD Visual Blu-ray at Amazon.com