
The Cologne Space Labs launch their project billionaire sponsor and gold-greedy astronaut Eli Cologne into a two-year journey in hopes for a beneficial Mars expedition. Cologne, being the first man on the red planet, encounters a shiny gold-like object that infects him with a foreign organism. As mission control rashly make the decisive decision to abort the expedition and leave Cologne stranded on the wasteland that is Mars, the brazen astronaut plans not to die on the alien planet, fleeting back to the return module, and blasting off back into space where he becomes lost for one year until his return module crash lands on Earth under the massive cloak of Hurricane Katrina. His human form ceases to exists, transformed into a flesh feasting, hideous extraterrestrial in a space suit who wreaks havoc and terror for years in a podunk Louisiana bayou where the nearby local Sheriff, Dick Ruffman, attempts to save from ultimate destruction.

When Tempe Video and TomCat Releasing dropped the news of “First Man on Mars” feature on my e-doorstep in a Tempe Video press release, something very deep in the cavernous, unholy part of me wanted to screen the film’s trailer. After witnessing a primo homage of super-8 b-horror schlock, I immediately brought my finger tips to my laptop’s keys and typed ferociously, requesting a press coverage copy for a film that had me instantly reminisce of “Lobster Man of Mars,” a 1989 sci-fi comedy directed by Stanley Sheff. As weeks passed, no response of my request was returned from the distributor. However, when the film’s director Mike T. Lyddon, an experienced independent filmmaker with more than two decades worth of low-budget films under his belt, e-mails Its Bloggin’ Evil and wonders if the site could review his latest project, a satirical sci-fi comedy, by forwarding over a screener link, I gladly jumped at the opportunity and, low and behold, I wasn’t disappointed when the end credits started to roll!

Under a massive umbrella of pop cultural science fiction references, “First Man on Mars” oversteps many plot conventions, exaggerating to the fullest extent a simple story of one man’s plight of an unquenchable desire for shiny gold that literally consumes him and, consequently, consumes others surrounding him in a cauldron of cannibalistic campiness. Even though the lesser part of Benjamin Wood’s dual role shows his mug as a friendly bar patron, his Eli Cologne performance never shows character face beyond the golden shield of his space helmet or before his pre-gruesome transformation into a hideous, razor-teethed, otherworldly beast, providing anonymity to an important character much similar to that of the character V in “V for Vendetta,” if you don’t consider the stock footage prior to the film’s title. Okay, so I might be comparing caviar to spam, but nonetheless, Lyddon uses comedy and a jerry-built space suit to create an ambiguity villainous character.

Trust me, “First Man on Mars” is not at all serious as the feature is comprised of zany rednecks, birdbrain scientists, and gratuitous violent hilarity garnished with suitably colorful dialogue that can be funny while being extremely crude, can be smart in it’s admiration, and can be juvenile with bathroom-riddled humor where appropriately scened. Every actor executes the swallowing of pride process to extend verbal and physical indirect comedy that purely goes hand-in-hand with this sort of satirical storyline constructed from the certifiable portions of Mike Lyddon’s brain that might or might not be sizzling on an illegal and dangerous narcotic. Gavin Ferrara, Kirk Jordan, Marcelle Shaneyfelt, Roy “Rusty” Jackson, Jr., Kelly Murtagh, Joey Harmon, Sam Cobean, and Tresslar Burton round out the comically darling cast.

“First Man on Mars” is an absurd blast from low-budget director Mike Lyddon and his team of willing actor and crew participants, putting everything on the proverbial line to make this ambitious project first and put their seemingly absent shame second. The TomCat Releasing was presented to me as a screener link, therefore I can’t officially review the audio and video quality nor any bonus features that might have accompanied the release, but as a soft judgment, the 16mm stock that “First Man on Mars” is shot on revels in the hokey dialogue, the substantial monster violence, and the utter gore as a remembrance of the once larger than life creature feature movies from the drive-in theater era.
Category Archives: Creature Features
Vestron Video Collection’s Blu-ray Return of the Living Dead 3 and C.H.U.D. II: Bud the Chud Shows Love for Sequels!
From Liongsgate Home Entertainment comes Vestron Video Collection’s Blu-ray releases of two sequels that needed some refreshing! “Return of the Living Dead 3” and “C.H.U.D. II: Bud the Chud” will see the light of Blu-ray day come November 22nd, instilling a 1080p campy fear into hearts of North American horror fans! Packed with extra content and a fresh coat a cover art paint, Lionsgate has resurrected (and remastered) the Vestron Video label from it’s burial ground in the 1980’s, re-delivering cult classic titles into super Hi-Def and redefining a label that made a name for pioneering B-movies such as the below.
C.H.U.D. II: Bud the Chud

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OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS
Kevin, Steve, and Katie are an inseparable trio of friends doing some extracurricular snooping in the school science lab when, among the test tubes and beakers, they discover a corpse! But before they can say “Abra Cadaver,” the body disappears, rolling down Route 51 strapped to a gurney. The kids need a spare stiff, and fast. What they find is “Bud the Chud,” a half-dead decomposing humanoid, the result of a military experiment gone haywire. When Bud sets out on a killing spree, the kids, the Army, the police, and the FBI are hot on his trail, trying to save the entire town from becoming “Chudified!”
BLU-RAY SPECIAL FEATURES
• Audio Commentary with Director David Irving
• Interview with Actor Gerrit Graham
• Interview with Actress Tricia Leigh Fisher
• Interview with Special Effects Artist Allan Apone
• Still Gallery
Return of the Living Dead 3

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OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS
In Return of the Living Dead: Part II, the chemical Trioxin turned people into flesh-eating zombies. Now, the government is trying to control these unstoppable cannibalistic killers in Return of the Living Dead 3. When a young man uses the chemical to bring his girlfriend back to life after a motorcycle accident, she is driven to eat the only thing that will nourish her…human brains! She tries to stop her own feeding frenzy but a chain reaction has already begun, as hordes of undead are unleashed from their graves!
BLU-RAY SPECIAL FEATURES
• Audio Commentary with Director Brian Yuzna
• Audio Commentary with Actress Melinda Clarke and Special Make-Up Effects Artist Tom Rainone
• “Ashes to Ashes” – A Conversation with Director Brian Yuzna and Screenwriter John Penney
• “Living Dead Girl” – An Interview with Actress Melinda Clarke
• “Romeo Is Bleeding” – An Interview with Actor J. Trevor Edmond
• “Trimark & Trioxin” – Interviews with Production Excecutive David Tripet and Editor Chris Roth
• “The Resurrected Dead” – Interviews with Special Effects Designers Steve Johnson and Chris Nelson
• Still Gallery
In A World of Evil, An Embryo Becomes the Hero. “Mécanix” review!

In a dystopian of metallic wires, continuously spinning gears, and nightmarish creatures, human beings are being driven extinction, enslaved by these same terror creatures that rule the human’s once empowered world. Rounded up like mindless cattle for vivisection, humans dwindle in numbers and in spirit. When one human stumbles upon the embryo, the only object to which the creatures fear and the reason for the humans being vivisected, a new hope of freedom emerges out from the last of the human beings as the last freeborn man implants the embryo inside him. As the horrid creatures learn of the embryo’s whereabouts, a means to an end of their existence drives a frantic frenzy of nonstop destruction before their race becomes obliterated by the embryo’s uniting power.

“Mécanix” is a stop-motion, German Expressionistic film that’s a hard sell for most audiences. Director Rémy M. Larochelle and producer Philippe Chabot have extracted hell and beauty out of an idea of post technology cataclysm inspired by the DIY filmmaking. Spanning over a four year production and then another ten 13 years until U.S. DVD distribution, the 2003 released “Mécanix” creeps to make a cult film impact, but Larochelle’s film is making an impact nonetheless. The experimental nature, the stop-motion effects, and the entrenched expressionism of symbolism makes “Mécanix” unique and memorable thats a labor of love stemmed from Larochelle’s painting, drawings, and sculptures.

Back more than a decade ago, Larochelle sought to display technology and human interaction organically. The film doesn’t necessarily setup the series of cataclysmic events and lays down layers of assumption that humans have created technology and technology eventually goes Terminator coup, but, as if believing in the existence of the circle of life, technology can’t maintain without the human element and so they’re alignment ultimately comes together. “Mécanix” is a representation of that alignment that’s deeply subjective and disturbing, yet oddly fascinating, hooking automated teeth into an unsuspecting viewer.

Aforementioned, “Mécanix” took four years to completely conjure into a 70-minute motion picture feature. Within that time span, Larochelle painstakingly and thoroughly guides every aspect of the special effects, creating reality and fantasy together from through a 16mm camera to the spectacular finished product on screen, making the composited material flush and fitting for visual consumption. Also, ambient audio flawlessly helps bringing the sculpted terrifying creatures come alive who wield bulbous arms of clanky rebar and fleshy pulp, bares unidentifiable skulls protruding through cyborg tissue, and slither across the floor through dark crevices and nooks.

“Mécanix” isn’t an overly gory film, but it’s a hellishly wretched one coming out of Canada. Brief scenes of self-mutilation and depicted re-arrangements of the human anatomy are as about as graphic as “Mécanix” gets, subtly hinting more at explicit content. Stéphane Bilodeau’s freeborn man character, the male lead, and Julie-Anne Côté’s character, the female lead, born from the embryo have light weight speaking roles. The creatures communicate much more of their need for the embryo, giving inanimate characters a good slice of the dialogue, yet Bilodeau and Côté singularly convey their scenes appropriately despite never being in the same scene together. The two main characters present the only non-mechanical beings. Even the humans who are enslaved have a rigidness about them, android-like, while serving their master creatures, who some even don the use a wheelchair to move around – technology needs technology to maintain life sustainability.

Unearthed Films and MVDVisual brings the IPS Films, Creatio Ex Hihl & Avant-Gore Films “Mécanix” to the U.S. home entertainment market 13 years after the world premiere. Being Rémy M. Larochelle’s only feature film to credit, the director can’t be compared to his other work obviously, but “Mécanix” is a fine debut, especially with the amount of sacrifice put into his inspired “Begotten” similar artistic style. The DVD is presented in a in 1.33:1 full screen aspect ratio with a Dolby Digital 2.0 mix that’s suitable for the drowning tone soundtrack from Southern Lord’s doom metal group Teeth of Lions Rule the Divine. The video quality is an attribute to 16mm standards, containing speckles of imperfections that simple add to the charm. The only extra included is an unorganized, yet entertaining interview with director Rémy M. Larochelle and Philippe Chabot, geeking out over answering prepped questions about the film’s formation and inspiration. “Mécanix” rarity will be the prayerful hope and the ultimate declination towards the film’s success as the market for experimental is never catchy with audiences, but the uncontrollable gawking over the “Mécanix” mechanical creatures and practical effects becomes unavoidable.
Trek Through Evil and Witness the Three-Eyed Giant! “Triclops” review!

Fighter pilot Captain Glenn Edwards goes missing in the mysterious and off-limits Amarok Crater. After a month of speculation and military red tape, Glenn’s brother, Tom Edwards, and Glenn’s fiance, Samantha, take the high risk of hiring a washed up, drunkard Carlton Denning, a pilot dumb enough to fly under the radar and into the hidden entrance of the forbidden zone to locate Glenn. The trio find themselves in the company Riley, a henchmen for Denning’s unforgiving bookie, who tags along to ensure Denning returns safe and sound to repay his debt. Their crash landing in the middle of Amarok Crater gives them no choice but to search for the lost Glenn, but as their stay prolongs, ancient carnivorous creatures, mutated from the Crater’s radioactive meteorite, emerge from the Crater’s caverns and fissures, including a three-eyed giant hellbent on obtaining a lady friend.

B-movie director Brett Piper is back with another outrageously entertaining drive-in theater film classically titled “Triclops.” Reusing props from the director’s last film, a monstrous crustacean rampage film titled “Queen Crab,” and casting familiar faces from the movie as well, Piper conjures-to-scribe a lost world, a concocted story of various films inspired by the gilded age marvels of movie magic. Practically funded with the quarter-sized lent in their cobwebbed lined pants pockets, Piper meticulously implements the nearly forgotten practice of blending mattes and composites with the strategic use of small-to-medium sized models in order to form a world based on a mutated genesis.

“Triclops” resembles 1966’s “One Million Years BC,” sans a stunning Raquel Welch, spliced brilliantly with the mythological appeal of Desmond Davis’s 1981 adventuring odyssey “Clash of the Titans” with a modern setting backdrop. Even though Welch is not in this particular stop-motion journey, a equally exquisite Erin Waterhouse takes center stage as the film’s protagonist Samantha whose on a quest to discover exactly what happened to her fiancé Glenn. Samantha’s determined to get to the crater, find Glenn, and get the hell out of Amarok Crater. What she didn’t plan on was her cohort, Glenn’s brother Tom, undermining her search and possible rescue for his own underlining intentions to become rich and famous off the unexplored and mysterious territory.

Waterhouse has a range that doesn’t wane, weaving through angst and fear without ever settling on a love interest. Waterhouse opposites Matthew Crawley in his first major role, a dual role, in Tom and Glenn. Did I mention that Tom and Glenn are twins? To round off the adventurous assemblage are Ken Van Sant and Richard Lounello whom are reunited as a team from Brett Piper’s “Queen Crab.” The cast’s dynamic attempts to homage the reactions of the classics; a long moment of shock and bewilderment glazes over the characters’ eyes as they stand in awe of the creatures before them. “Triclops” isn’t a vicious creature feature where a scantily cladded woman runs through the thicket, screaming her lungs out while a snaring beast ferociously tracks her down.

The script feels a bit loose with much of the dynamic between Glenn, Tom, and Samantha goes awkward into oblivion after many hints to outer-relationship throes. Ken Van Sant’s character, Dennings, portrays the unlikely hero. When we first meet Dennings, he’s a blackout drunk with a sarcastic pie hole who just happens to know how to fly a plane. His dealings with a money shark fizzles as badly as Samantha and Tom’s supposedly fling. Even when Riley, played by Richard Lounllo, tags along to keep an eye on Dennings, the animosity goes into flight and disappears into the lost land of Amarok Crater, or perhaps the ration from the Crater not only evolves the physical appearances, maybe their inner soul mutates into their antagonistic selves.

“Triclops” can be discovered on DVD-R courteously of Alpha New Cinema and purchasable at Oldies.com. The region free disc contains a runtime of 80 minutes with bonus features including outtakes and bloopers and fantastic commentary track with director Brett Piper, Ken Van Sant, Erin Waterhouse and producer Anthony Polonia that’s pure water cooler comedy as well as an inside the creation of his modern day classic. The DVD-R video aliases a fair amount with some blotchiness in more darker corners of film, but the sepia coloring feels natural due to the sci-fi tribute content and the soundtrack is clear with no pops or hissing in the dialogue, which prominently sets the stage in the forefront. Brett Piper has once again brought cinematic history back to a world filled with millennials with their noses-glued to iPhones screens and Playstation consoles. “Triclops” is a 50-ft tall film on a 5-ft tall budget and worth every penny of admission.
Resident Evil 7 trailer breakdown and theories.
Last night Capcom surprised us with the new Resident Evil 7 reveal trailer. After watching it 100 times, I feel the urge to analyze the video and see if there are any clues relating to the past games.

So first lets start with this image. This to me is a throwback to the first game, when it showed the ”Raccoon Times” news paper with a headline about strange murders taking place around Arklay. Now it seems the residents of this new location cannot explain what kind of creatures they are seeing and they refer to them as ”ghosts”. Many people are complaining that maybe the new enemies will be paranormal. I for one do not believe that and still believe that the new enemies are the outcome of a biological weapon.

This shot I found interesting. To me it looks like someone holding a rifle with a flashlight and wearing tactical gear. Could this be Umbrella security trying to protect a testing site? Maybe a BSAA operative or it could be Hunk? I would be very excited if it is Hunk, a guy can dream.

Now could this be one of our protagonists? Many people are thinking this is Rebecca Chambers, which could be true since she is supposedly returning in the new Resident Evil: Vendetta movie. I have money on either being Rebecca or Moira Burton.

This I believe is more of symbolizing what has happened. A virus or whatever it is spreading over this couples photo, with the glass being smashed over the husbands face. Maybe the husband is behind what is happening in this house? From the demo one of the characters says something about their son ”Lucas” being a ”bad seed”. maybe this couple’s son had ties to Umbrella and therefore had his hands on some very nasty biological shit and came back home to spread it. Who knows, but this shot is interesting.

Here is the part in the trailer I’m sure had Resident Evil fans going crazy. This is obviously Oswell E. Spencer, founder of the Umbrella Corporation. I mean who else could this be? An old, balding guy in a wheel chair inside in the famous Spencer mansion. Does this mean Spencer is back even though Wesker killed him in Resident Evil 5? I don’t think so, I think this might be a flash back or who knows maybe he did survive and he himself is infected with a new virus.

This isn’t from the trailer but I had to throw in. This is a screenshot I took while playing through the demo. While in the attic of the house I found this old photograph of what appears to be an Umbrella Corporation helicopter. Before picking up the photo there was a phone beside it ringing. I answered it and heard a mysterious female character telling me that ”Memories hold the truth. Do not let appearances mislead you”. I have an interesting theory about that and have written it below. Please skip ahead to the next picture if you do not want spoilers.
I am entering SPOILER territory now. So if you have NOT played Resident Evil Revelations 2, please skip down to the next picture. In Resident Evil Revelations 2, Albert Wesker’s sister was introduced as the main antagonist. She, like her brother dealt with viruses and all sorts of biological weaponry. She was obsessed with living forever and wanted to find a suitable person to transfer her mind into. Nearing the end of the game Alex was in the process of moving her mind into Natalia, a little girl who Alex picked as her new ”vessel”. During that process Alex then kills herself, to be free from her aging body. The very end of Revelations 2 it is shown that Natalia is slowly turning into Alex, showing that Alex’s experiment was a success. So could it be that Natalia’s mind has now completely transformed into Alex Wesker and she is behind this new viral outbreak? From what we are told on the phone, it does make sense but we’ll have to wait and see.

Another screenshot from the demo that I wanted to add. I took this one to show that no, we are not dealing with ghosts. This is one of the enemies that shows up in the cinematic cut scene at the end of the demo, judging from her face it looks like she has some vein inflammation (possibly from an infection?) and her eyes being blacked out. Who knows what the hell is going on, I know there are plenty of theories being thrown around and I honestly can not wait for this game. I am going to see if there are anymore secrets hidden in this demo.