Category Archives: Schlocky

Creating the Perfect EVIL Race Takes Needless Amounts of Surgery and a Good Pair of Balls! “S.S. Experiment Love Camp” reviewed! (88 Films / 4K UHD and Standard Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“S.S. Experiment Love Camp” 4K and Blu-ray is Ripe for the Taking!

Nazi officer Colonel von Kleiben heads a concentration camp where he experiments of young Jewish and Russian female prisoners.  His experiments bore through the encampment lot with unconventional reproductive system surgery for the good of and in the name of purifying the Aryan race, experimentations that also including nonconsensual sexual activities between the women captives and the top physical specimens of the Nazi ranks.  Kleiben’s masked, real intentions are to practice for his own sake in a testicle transplant after a Russian woman castrates him during his attempted raping of her during conflict.  Woman after woman is sacrificed for the surgeon’s rigorous rehearsal by having their uteruses removed and replaced by another and when they expire on the table, their corpses are discarded into the camp’s incinerating ovens.  One Nazi solider is earmarked to be Kleiben’s hope to be whole again and uses the soldier’s affections toward a female prisoner to gain power and control in coercing him blindly into the experiment. 

If pleasure seeking banned films from certain sovereign states, then perhaps “S.S. Experiment Love Camp” should be on your short list.  The 1976 Nazisploitation film from Italy depicts a semblance of torture simulations used from Hitler’s Reich and lays the groundwork for total absurdity with a plot coursed with nonsense motivation at the disadvantage of a minority group under the threat of torture and death.  Also known as “Captive Women II:  Orgies of the Damned,” as more of a sequel in the collective Naziploitation subgenre popular in the 70’s, or most widely known as simply “S.S. Experiment,” the film is from the “Django the Bastard” and “Kill Django… Kill First” director Sergio Garrone, who co-wrote the script alongside “The Weapon, the Hour, & the Motive” co-screenwriter Vinicio Marinuci.  The Società Europea Films Internazionali Cinematografica produced the video nasty venture and expressed no regret the depictions of Nazi terror with the continuation of the subgenre by producing “S.S. Camp 5:  Women’s Hell” as well as other rape-inclined exploitation, such as “Mandinga” between master and plantation slaves and the caged women narrative of “Barbed Wire Dolls.”  

Sifting through the atrocious Nazi experiments, the unabashed sum of nudity, and the ridiculously selfish plot of one Colonel’s lengths to restore his manhood, “S.S. Experiment Love Camp” has a handful of mainstay principals key to the premise’s perpetuation encircled around Colonel Kleiben’s clandestine reasons to willingly and uncompassionately order a new type of surgical procedure on innocent civilian women prisoners.  Played by the square jawed, blonde haired Italian Giorgio Cerioni, who after “S.S. Experiment Love Camp” went on a string of playing a woman abusing Nazi in nazisploitation films between ’76 and ’77 with “Deported Women of the SS Special Section,” “SS Camp:  Women’s Hell,”  “The Red Nights of the Gestapo,” Kleiben’s a stoic, behind-the-scenes force and Cerioni dons the decadence evil well behind German medals and sense of false soldier duty as he works both the known to Kleinben Jewish world class surgeon Dr. Steiner (Attilio Dottesio, “The Sinful Nuns of Saint Valentine”) pretending to be German and Kleiben’s targeted German solider Helmet (Mircha Carven, “Death Will Have Your Eyes”) sought for his textbook testicles.  Dottesio’s Dr. Steiner is a conflicted man brought to do surgery on his fellow Jews that will result in their certain death and while he knows this, and it weighs on his conscious, the stuck doctor keeps himself from being exposed from other than the Colonel who knows and exploits his little secret for advantage; Dottesio wears a burden upon the surgeon’s face but doesn’t do enough to provide the body language of resistance in being doctor death against his will.  Yet, Carven wholly depicts an outlier amongst the typical German national who rather read books than shoot the sexual gab of his countrymen, which is in itself a nice slice of visual irony with the Nazi being known for burning literature.  Carven keeps Helmut relatively quiet, reserved, and a watcher from afar, noticing blonde prisoner Mirelle as the two fall for each other at the moment of locking eyes.  Carven and Paolo Corazzi (“SS Camp:  Women’s Hell”) sizzle with chemistry that’s left pieced too far apart and with not enough relationship context toward their insta-love connection.  There are other peripheral dialogue characters that keep the story spicy in their debauchery with Serafino Profumo (“Escape from Hell”) who had that perfect thin mustache and bald and stout look that makes him a formidable slimeball as the Nazi Seargent, Patrizia Melega (“SS Camp:  Women’s Hell”) as Dr. Steiner’s sadistic lesbian colleague Dr. Renke, and a handful of German soldiers to be the plug to the female prisoner outlet, such as with Matilda Dall’Agilio, Agnes Kalpagos, and Almina De Sanzio.  One of the more details to gripe about the cast is that they’re all Italian bronze that dilutes the allusion of the nationalities their portraying. 

“S.S. Experiment Love Camp” comes with a smidgen of notoriety having been banned in select western European countries over its depiction of violence, especially at the hands of Nazis, and its controversial poster of a naked woman crucified upside.  To this day,  Garrone’s film is still shocking and abhorrent with the aforesaid but also the emotion confliction etched into characters like Dr. Steiner or Helmut who must make a choice, weighing the balance of self-preservation over the salvation and safety of others, and that’s what really drives this nazisploitation to have tremendous impact in an absurdist plot of colonel cajones.  Garrone favors a more realistic approach to the tortures and horrors of a Nazi concentration camp by including close reenactments to their torture methods and Garrone also lingers ever so uncomfortably on the complete discard of corpses into the oven without any dialogue, expression on any faces, and even adds a surrealist glance into the oven of the bodies moving, in an artful dance way, when the flames are ignited.  There’s also the given, often gratuitous nudity that accompanies most nazisploitation films and while nudity usually arouses, stimulation stalls under the barbarism that’s present in the air, the context of which the sex acts are being conducted for, and the outcome of ghastly blood and sinew that follows to the end of the mortal coil.  There’s sensuality between lovers and transactions between prostitution and paying customers but even those innocuous instances rapid degrade into unnerving anticipation. 

88 Films’ new 2-disc, dual format 4K UHD Blu-ray and Standard Blu-ray set is a marvel of physical media engineering.  The 4K UHD is HVEC encoded and presented in Dolby Vision HDR10, 2160p ultra high-definition, and stored on a BD100 while the Standard Blu-ray is AVC encoded with a 1080p resolution on a BD50, both brand new 4K remastered transfers stem from the original negatives and displayed in a widescreen 1.85:1 aspect ratio.  Between the two formats, there’s identical visuals to the naked eye but the 4K UHD does provide a slightly sharper image that has more an immersive pop when comparing the two formats side-by-side.  Colors are rich with a complete hue saturation that isn’t present in previous, more muted DVD or other Blu-ray editions.  Darker scenes have an intention rough quality about them as well as the concrete and unpigmented concentration camp as intended by director Sergio Carrone to put forth as much realism as possible.  No identifiable issues with compression as the picture quality looks clean through-and-through with blacks retaining an inky bide, grading remains consistent and stable, and the minutiae of fabric and skin color doesn’t contest with any ambiguity as Nazi uniforms distill a gray cotton-wool blend, you can also touch the little fuzzies on their garb, and the stubble and sweat greatly show the length of detail on strained and tense faces during torture or combat scenes.  The formats both have the same audio mixes:  an ADR English 2.0 LPCM and an ADR Italian 2.0 LPCM.  The uncompressed audio brings an unfiltered and considerate quality to the front channels with clean and clear dialogue under a diminutive amount of interference and an ambience track that puts its best foot forward, or rather the front, with distinct, sundry range of electronic voltage, machine gun fire, and the surgical slippery stickiness of organs being handled.  The new translated English subtitles are paced well and have no grammatical or misspelling issues.  Special features include a feature tandem audio commentary with Italian film experts Eugenio Ercolani and Nanni Cobretti.  Plus, Italian audio only interviews subtitled in English, including an interview with the late director Sergio Garrone Sadistically Yours, Sergio G., an interview with music historian Pierpaolo de Sanctis SSadist Sound, an interview with editor Eugenio Alabiso The Alibiso Dynasty (a back cover misspelling error perhaps?), an interview with cinematographer Maurizio Centini Framing Exploitation.  The special features conclude with the Italian title credits for the opening and closing of the film and the original Italian trailer.  88 Films and Joel Robison bring a newly illustrated, censored and uncensored cover art with the censored version on the rigid dual-sided slipcover that’s crazily detailed in all its tempestuous glory with the backside depicting the original poster art of a reverse crucified naked woman, both images are impressed with a pop-pulp coloring and chrome effect. The uncensored version lies within the plastic slip of the black 4K Amaray with a reverse side depicting also the original cover in its more traditional coloring of the horrendous and country-banning portrayal.  Inserted on the left interior is an uncensored illustrative cover, of the original poster art, atop of a 11-page English essay from Tim Murray entitled “Nazisploitation, Punks, and The Nasties…”  The Not rated, 95-minute film is region free for global player use. 

Last Rites: If nazisploitation or Eurosleaze just isn’t what tickles your movie mania, any cinephile can appreciate the pristine transfer, the raw and uncompressed audio, and its physical accoutrements that rise “S.S. Experiment Love Camp” into a must-have release.

“S.S. Experiment Love Camp” 4K and Blu-ray is Ripe for the Taking!

Another Ballsy Tom Martino Low-Budget Comedy-Horror That’ll EVILLY Knock the Political Correctness Right Out of Your Body. “Fisted!” reviewed! (Wild Eye Releasing / DVD: Raw and Extreme)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Fisted!” is Guaranteed At Least One Laugh! Now on DVD!

Camp Counselor El Mo runs a camp of merciless sexual abuse and is driving his plaything campers to one their what’s sure to be an exploitational hike through nature but when the van suddenly explodes from underneath and a tire rod penetrates El Mo through the rectum and kills him, the seemingly resigned El Mo campers find their long-awaited plan for revenge has been circumstantially and unfortunately thwarted by chance.  Determined not to be deterred for vengeance, the campers hike El Mo’s corpse to an isolated clearing where they will cook, eat, and excrete his remains but before they can do so, in the woods is the once urban legend turned real-life serial killer wearing a human flesh-masked, named The Jerklin’ Boy.  With an angry fist that can explode someone in a single punch and a knack for ripping off their scrotum and attaching them to his mask, The Jerklin’ Boy is an unstoppable demonic evil force hellbent on destroying all in his path.  There are even giant flesh-eating ants running rampant.  With nowhere to turn, the campers are at the expertise mercy of a demon hunter disguised as a camper amongst them who was once tracking El Mo and has now changed course for The Jerklin’ Boy. 

If a fan of Tom Martino’s outrageous and politically incorrect, 2012 science-fictional horror-comedy schlocker, “Race Wars:  The Remake,” you might also want to check out another Martino indie feature filmed around the same time, a pseudo-SOV release that’s a horror-comedy with a punch!  “Fisted!” is the Martino written-and-directed independent production produced shortly after “Race Wars: The Remake: and just like “Race Wars: The Remake,” it aimed to offend all without an apologetic backpaddling for its lack of decorum.  Flagrant homosexuality stereotypes, raunchy cock-and-ball grotesqueness, off-color race tropes and gags, and much, much more lineup scene-after-scene in Martin’s indelicate and indecent return to the indie market.  Once again, Martino produces his own film, as I’m sure no other company wants to touch it with a 100-foot pole, under his horror bust and mask-making company DWN Productions, which he shamelessly plugs in the middle of the story for good comedic measure. 

Pulling form his pool of acting talent and making their returning are the Martino entourage actors Jamelle Kent and Howard Calvert.  The “Race Wars:  The Remake” lead actors find themselves out from the alien fast food and zombie-inducing drug trade business and into being assaulted and hurt campers DL and Dick looking to eat-revenge their abusive counselor.  Joining them and also trading in his “Race Wars:  The Remake” supporting character badge for a principal character badge is Kerryn Ledet as Schindler, the mastermind behind the rape-revenge plan.  Ledet does the job but doesn’t hold a candle to Kent and Calvert’s dynamic duo in “Race Wars” with their a little extra something expressions compared to Kerryn’s over-the-top and crooked eyelevel facial stances.  Joe Garcia plays a seriously unsettling and verbally aggressive molester in El Mo with other campers alongside Calvert, Kent, and Ledet in comedian Joking Jolly Rogers as the stachy Tiny, Liz McCarty as the lesbian Butch, Sam Rivas as the wheelchair bound Kurt, and Martino as sleepy Charlie.  Martino doesn’t sleep the entire picture as he takes on the main antagonist role of The Jerklin’ Boy, who supposedly has dynamite running through his veins and gives him a punch that can knock your socks off and more!  Danny McCarty, husband to Liz McCarty, is not only the co-editor of the film but dons the emo-gothic sheath of The Lords Palm Slayer, a demon hunter on an on-going fight to destroy evil.  The Black Kreecha, aka Kreech Kreecha, makes his ode to the “Creature from the Black Lagoon” return from “Race Wars” to “Fisted!” with the simply named Steve, (voiced by Tynell Addison) as the beer drinking, slightly incestuous big brother to Kerryn’s Schindler.  “Fisted!” rounds out with a few other colorful characters with Flamey the Bear (Tynell Addison), the pussywillow scientist (Joe Grisaffi), the drug-addicted blood pisser (Kevin Choate), the Groucho Marx bench perv Rodrigo Pena, and a profanity-loaded prologue and epilogue by legendary Clarence Reid in his iconic rapper identity Blowfly. 

“Fisted!” is pansexually raunchy at its core and tapes into the same genre fan-living practical effects vein to the likes of Jeff Bookwalter’s “The Dead Next Door” minus the cut-and-paste visual effects that make Martino’s film all the more special in the eyes of the eccentric and underground indie film-loving beholder.  Off the wall and off-color, “Fisted” doesn’t hold back the unglorified gags and is not trying to win any morality and ethical awards or honors anytime soon.  The narrative is also divergent of any conventional narrative by be-bopping between the rape-revenge of the creepy molester El Mo, the scrotum snatching and wearing serial killer Jerklin’ Boy with an inexplicable powerful fist, the unexplained origin of large flesh-eating ants, and a demon hunting sect crusader who strays off the path of good.  There’s a lot going on and a lot of vulgarity and a lot of fun happening here under the umbrella of ultra-low budget, underground cinema.  “Fisted!” will not win the majority over and its niche comedy and contribution to science fiction horror doesn’t distill new and improved results into the genre but if you can relax from the high-strung conservative values and be open to a shoddy veneer and house made special effects ran through a VHS filter, “Fisted!” is a psychotic ass-punch of ridiculous fun with absurd practical and visual effects.

Coming in as the 92nd title for Wild Eye Releasing Raw & Extreme label, “Fisted!” is one insane grotesque death after another and this death punch of a film lands onto a new DVD with a MPEG2 compression encoding and an upscaled 720p albeit you wouldn’t be able to tell since there’s a heavy VHS filter that creates the impression of interlacing lines, tracking lines, and macroblocking as if watching a low rung SOV.  The single layer DVD5 has a negligible effect since, again, the VHS filter puts the picture quality through the wringer but that’s Maritno’s intended veneer at a 90’s inspired grindhouse picture with the hot new tech of the era.  My only complaint is the censored tracking lines overtop the plot critical moment where the lesbian action is not definitely simulated!  A riveting scene that certainly made my brow sweat, profusely.  The English language Stereo 2.0 suffers significant from poorly placed equipment and user error that often fights the natural elements, aka wind, and can also sound a bit boxy.  With the gusts on the creek of an alligator-infested Missouri shore, ambience noise drowns out select dialogue scenes of exposition and performative utterances.   There’s not much in the way of a memorable or killer soundtrack but the sound design to match the every aspect of the special effects lands with comedic flair, when there is actually audio synched with the action as occasionally it’s missed due to the 5-year post production change of hands.  Bonus features include a Wild Eye produced commentary featuring director Tom Martino and actor Joe Garcia and the feature trailer plus other Wild Eye Releasing films.  The DVD comes in a clear Amaray with uncredited, illustrative cover artwork of all its psychotronic insanity.  The reverse side depicts a blown-up image of an outrageous death moment.  The region free Wild Eye Releasing has a perfectly paced runtime of 71-minutes and is, of course, unrated.

Last Rites: Wild Eye Releasing continues to live up to their moniker with another wild, uncouth, and not rated story that barely has any narrative flesh hanging from the bone. “Fisted!” truly fights the conventional cinema power and doesn’t pretend to pull any punches as it takes on race, sexuality, and perversion without shame or any moral high ground.

“Fisted!” is Guaranteed At Least One Laugh! Now on DVD!

White Space Men are the EVIL Captains of the Zombie-inducing Slave Trade and Intergalactic Fast-Food Industry! “Race War: The Remake” reviewed! (Wild Eye Releasing: Raw & Extreme / DVD)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Get Caught Up in the Middle of a “Race War: The Rmeake” on DVD

Drug dealer Baking Soda is feeling the peddling pangs of dropped traffic for his crystal pure PCP.  With no one buying his smack, he and his friend G.E.D. reside back home to drink with their close fish-headed friend Kreech and sleep off the day’s failure to try again tomorrow.  Their persistence to sell puts them on the radar of a white supremacy group vending a new drug on the street, the cause for Baking Soda’s drop in sales, but their product isn’t just going to get users high, it will turn them into flesh-eating zombie slaves.  When G.E.D. is kidnapped by the group, Baking Soda and Krrech have to run through the list of suspects – Jews, Hispanics, Chinese, and others – for the source of his sale woes and to rescue his friend, guns blazing if necessary or if unnecessary, but there may be more extraterrestrial motives that haven’t yet been unearthed. 

“Race War: The Remake” is a 2012 politically incorrect, ultra-offensive spoof comedy and blaxploitation horror from writer-director Tom Martino.  A Tom Savini school graduate, te special effects artist Martino (“Dead of Knight,” “Return to Nuke ‘Em High Volume 1,” “Doll Factory”) takes helm in the director’s chair for his debut in indie feature productions with one of the wildest, crudest, and tactlessly funny comedy-horrors I’ve seen since Troma’s “The Taint.”  Set in and around Houston, Texas and the greater surrounding area with guerrilla filming in locations such as the Houston Space Center and shooting with permission at the Darke Institute’s Phobia Haunted House, “Race War:  The Remake” doesn’t have an originating film despite the title in what is considered a spoof sequel – think of examples “Dude Bro Massacre III” and it’s standalone release or the non-existent second sequel between  “Thankskilling” and “Thankskilling III.”  Martino produces his own work under his outside of Houston-based company DWN Productions that doubles in making horror theme masks, busts, and props.

Thick-skinned actors comfortable with the narrative’s uncomfortable themes begin with Howard Calvert and Jamelle Kent as Baking Soda and G.E.D.  Calbert and Kent have become regulars in the Tom Martino catalogue of cast members for his more recent films and their humble beginnings in “Race War:  The Remake” proved their longevity to stay with the director, who is white, who wrote extensive race, gender, sexuality, and fart jokes in the context of a comedy-horror with cringy stereotypes and genuine tributes.  Calvert and Kent have great comedic timing to pull off all the zany editing, sound bites, and practical effects distaste Martino has flaming axe tosses at them to achieve his vision.  The two are joined by Danny McCarty, who would become another regular and be the visual effects supervisor for the film, dressed head-to-toe in loose-fitting urban attire to match the theme of Calvert and Kent’s black A-shirt and do-rags but his hands and face are masked to become the Creature from the Black Lagoon, aka Kreech.  Martino’s “Race War:  The Remake” isn’t just about the terrestrial races but intergalactic ones as well and we soon see that later on with the intentions of neo-Nazi white drug suppliers, led by Matt Rogers’ vulgarity in the horseshoe mustached Tex.  There are various other encountered gross stereotypes in the trio’s urban quest, such as a large nosed, greedy Jewish lawyer, Mexican luchador bodyguards, and a Pai Mei-esque Shifu speaking gibberish har har sounds and listing off popular Americanized Chinese dishes in attempt to be derogatorily funny.  With a film titled as “Race Wars:  The Remake,” the cast is mostly white and black actors poking uncouth fun with a big unconcerned and insensitive stick with Corey Fuller, Kerryn Ledet, Sam Rivas, and Coady Allen listed in the cast.

“Race Wars:  The Remake” isn’t funny, it’s stupid funny!  Having grown up in the 1980-2000s, consciously I might add, Martino’s politically incorrect and his brand of juvenile humor resonates with me, reminding me how cinema has become numb to the spoof humor.  Granted, Martino’s humor is over the top cutting, gross, and full of jest bigotry, traits that would trigger many in today’s sensitive awareness, and while cringy after a tasteless joke may result, there’ll likely be some a side of the mouth chuckle to go along with it.  On the opposite side of the spectrum, Martino tributes to references of certain popular culture icons, though slightly bastardizing some for laughs.  From Peter Jackson’s “Bad Taste,” to “Creature from the Black Lagoon,” to even “Mortal Kombat,” “Race Wars: The Remake” integrates the best parts of each these staples of pop culture and that gives his film a leg up on other offensive spoofs of the same crass caliber.  Th one negative story structure item to  highlight is the act one narrative takes a while to work the gears and get going as it attempts to setup the 40oz-drinking chumminess of Baking Soda, G.E.D., and Kreech but lags to a stagnant stall for hot second while still surround with the here-and-there gags, themed with G.E.D. homosexual tendencies and Baking Soda’s drug peddling woes on and off the streets, but once the antics pickup, there’s no stopping Martino and his filmic entourage from raining down an assault of insults. 

If you’re easily offended or put off by off-color race comedy, then Wild Eye Releasing’s “Race War:  The Remake” DVD is not for you!  For me, and those like me, unaffected by the type of uncouth spoof, Tom Martino’s debut is for you!  The Raw & Extreme sublabel’s DVD is MPEG2 encoded, 720p resolution, on a DVD5.  Presented in widescreen 1.78:1 aspect ratio, there is a breadth of visual presentation not confined within’ pillar and letterboxing but is stretched vertically that affects the already par level resolution.  Guerilla filmmaking also involves no production lighting and natural lighting is more than used here in Martino’s run around the Houston area, but one thing good about Martino’s naturally lit cinematography is its neutral set, avoiding under and overexposure.  The lesser used interiors have some tint lighting and key lighting to avoid total flat, dark outcomes but give the image a haze of hue, especially inside Baking Soda’s living room scene in the first act that sees a thin layer of red and green.  The English PCM Stereo has inconsistencies in volume.  Some scenes discern quieter than others because of the guerilla filmmaking constraints as well as just using commercial recording equipment.  However, the dialogue does land well enough for the jokes to hit and overlayed sound effects greatly lift the sound design where needed, such as with the Mortal Kombat video game sequence or with the array-spray of gunshots throughout and soundboard gag effects.  There are no subtitles with this release.  Included in the special features is Tom Martino director’s commentary, a gag/blooper reel, a behind-the-scenes reel of the gory moments, and Wild Eye Releasing trailers that include “Race War:  The Remake.”    The clear, ECO-Light Amaray DVD case houses stellar covert art illustration work by Belgium graphic artist, Stemo, with the inlaid narrative intensity and characters in collage.  The reverse side includes a gory still from one of the scenes.  The disc is pressed with the same front cover image but there are no other physical materials.  The unrated DVD runs for 95 minutes and is region free.

Last Rites:  Wild Eye Releasing re-unleashes another outrageous title on their Raw & Extreme label and the Tom Martino film is every ounce of the sentiment in it’s indie underground hokum of gore, racism, homosexuality, and aliens! 

Get Caught Up in the Middle of a “Race War: The Rmeake” on DVD

Who Would Have Thought Something So Tiny Could Create So Much EVIL! “Cannibal Tick” reviewed! (SRS Cinema / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Get Bit by the “Cannibal Tick” Blu-ray! Now Available!

Jeb believes his late father’s purloined gold is stashed underground in his densely wooded backyard.  What’ Jeb unearths is not gold, but barrels of chemicals Jeb believes to be just as valuable.  What Jeb doesn’t know about the pinched drums is the ooze inside leaking from them turns the local tick population into diseased carriers, transmitting a sickness upon biting their hosts and transforming the hosts into ravaging flesh eaters that continue to spread the disease with one single bite.  All hell quickly breaks loose amongst a sleepy backwoods around Big J’s outdoor food truck until a retired vampire hunter, Alec, turns his skillset onto the zombified undead when twin brother Roscoe becomes patient zero.  Big J’s famous menu items pig dicks and beer won’t save the rustic hillbillies from a fast-spreading contagion but one kilt wearing son of a bitch aims to take on all of them with a help of local and his vampire slaying colleague.  

If Lyme disease wasn’t already bad enough, chemically diseased ticks being the parasitic harbingers of the zombie apocalypse might just be the worst.  Like a premise straight out of Valve Corp.’s Half-Life series, co-directors Ross Carlo and William Long’s low budget, running zombie-comedy film, “Cannibal Tick” will leave more than just a bull’s eye symptom in its bloody, outrageous wake.  Mostly derivative from other running undead features, the 2020 feature length film is the debut and first collaboration efforts of the Eastern Ohio-Western Pennsylvania filmmaking duo with Long running solo in penning the screenplay of rednecks running rampantly through a serious case of tick-induced rabies.  “Cannibal Tick” is a production of indie companies Poo House Productions located in Youngstown, Ohio and of William Long’s Dark Long Productions of Northern Cambria, Pennsylvania.  William Long and Ross Carlo retain the producing credits as well as taking on principal characters as per standard in the microbudget, everybody-pitches-in productions.

In the spirit of low-budget creativity, Ross Carlo (“Rotten, Welcome to the Freak Show”) accepts his dual role fate playing twin Scottish brothers Roscoe and Alec.  Carlo invests himself into the accent while getting physical when the ticking timebomb explodes and all zombie hell unfolds in the armpit of Nowheresville, Pennsylvania.  His presenting of Alec and Rosco couldn’t be more different but still oddly the same as Alec’s has more of an interesting background as a retired vampire hunter visiting his brother, or rather just dozing off on Roscoe’s couch.  Roscoe, on the other hand, is purely just a boondock alcoholic without much of anything else going on other than the next pint and a handful of used tissues from his personal pleasuring.  William Long (“The Devil’s Wasteland”) also has a role in the film but just one as the gold feverish Jeb looking for his late pop’s buried treasure.  Jeb’s quiet nature is not imposing and he’s terribly forgetful or just doesn’t listen to his wife but neither scenario is really relevant to the story, much like most of the carrier scenarios and backgrounds other than Alec’s vampire killing skills translating over to zombie dispatching.  So many characters are quickly tossed into the mix of a 73-minute story that they’re unfortunately not well fleshed out nor provided enough substance to even instill an impression upon and what they reduce to is simply just fodder for the carnage for the sake of a high body count.  John Catheline (“Deadly Numbers”) is and plays a forlorn former wrestler Curtis lost in beer and solitude for his prime fight days and has become a local mechanic, Maurandis Berger (“Chronicles of a Serial Killer”) and Sheneefah Johnson (“3 A.M”) are a black married couple who find themselves broken down in a white hick town, and Lena Devinney and the late Jimmy Barber Sr. (“Deadly Numbers”) are the couple who arrive at the wrong place, wrong time as they drive up to Big J’s for some pig dick and beer.  The aforesaid descripts don’t go any further with no progressive dynamism that usually establishes either a love or hate development with audiences.  “Cannibal Tick” also feeds upon Greg Bailey, Allison Devinney, Donnie Lawrence, Tene Gossard, RahZhee Emmaunel, Lisa Dapprich, Iesha Guzzo, Jana Ferris, and Michelle Dominique Buxton to be bigger in the slaughter and in the slaughtering. 

“Cannibal Tick’s” concept is sound – a tick becomes affected by a barrel of leaking toxic chemicals that causes their bite to inject the zombie creating substance directly into the bloodstream.  Yet, the problem is there is only one scene with a tick bite and the Rosco-Long production goes from interesting to run-of-the-mill zombie chaos with zero principal protagonist power.  Another knock down is the substandard traits of an extreme indie production that relies heavily on the character captivation and special effects caliber to be successful in a demanding market driven by those factors.  The former has been touched upon in great detail, but the special effects pull ahead as Michelle Dominique Buxton, who not only has a character role but is also the special effects makeup artist, is able to pull off a few interesting prosthetic monster looks as well as a decapitation death that in all honesty is really well done in framing and effect.  While the solid zombie carnage infects survivors left and right with a ferocious appetite, the narrative then evolves with Jeb’s direct ooze contact, transforming him into some similar to a zombie king that sets up “Cannibal Tick” to a potential sequel in the future.  However, that sequel hasn’t crawled its way to fruition just quite yet.

The blood thirsty arachnid with a zombifying bite buries itself onto a new Blu-ray release from SRS Cinema.  The AVC encoded, mastered 720p resolution, 25 gigabyte BD-R with the purple underbelly.  While typically unusual for a Blu-ray to be in standard definition, SRS Cinema’s certainly no stranger to their films being filmed in 720p, thus the format, but video, as well as audio, suffer quality buckling, especially when encoded onto a one-time writable disc that has its own technical limitations.  “Cannibal Tick” sees quite a bit of those technical woes in its compression codec from banding, splotchy macroblocking, and loss of overall finer details.  Many of the action scenes are done at night with little lighting and decoding struggles with delineation and details, especially when the use of commercial filming equipment was used.  The film is at least presented in a widescreen 1.85:1 aspect ratio.  The English audio isn’t written or displayed on back cover, but this does render through the receiver output as an uncompressed 2.0 mix that channels a dialogue and ambience stream through to another channel of a stock score.  Obvious lack of refinement housed in a lower bitrate captures less isolation efforts on the dialogue, leaving disruption to run interference that spike and subdues pitches and tones, but the dialogue strength has solid recorded quality from a well-placed boom.  Other than that, there’s not a good dynamic range other than zombie growl and gurgle to give “Cannibal Tick” a semblance of audio body.  Special features include raw footage of behind-the-scenes of stunt sequences and makeup effects without narrative context, the original trailer, the official SRS trailer, and trailers of other SRS Cinema catalogued films.  The standard Blu-ray contains original artwork of a large, translucent, yellow tick overtop a blood smeared, presumably, zombie woman that speaks greatly to and has intrigue appeal of an ultra-indie film.  With a runtime of a little over an hour, marking at 73-minutes, SRS Cinema’s release comes region free.

Last Rites: Ultra low-budget, rough-and-ready, and imitative in a rustic sense, “Cannibal Tick” drains interest and captivation with the film’s throwaway moonshine characters caught and released in the throes of a backwoods zombie outbreak.

Get Bit by the “Cannibal Tick” Blu-ray! Now Available!

The Golden Ninja Warrior Turns Good Ninja Masters to EVIL! “Ninja Terminator” reviewed! (Neon Eagle Video / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

The Golden Ninja Warrior is the corrupt Ninja Empire’s most valued and powerful artifact with mystical powers to whomever posses it’s three pieces, granting them near invincibility against enemy attacks.  The Supreme Ninja leader displays the power of the golden bust, resembling a beastly torse and head wielding a katana, to three of the Empire’s Ninja Masters – Tamashi, Baron, and Harry.  The three Ninja Masters betray their supreme leader, each stealing a piece of the statue for their own intent and purposes.  With one piece back in the hands of the Supreme Ninja leader after Tamashi’s demise, the now crime boss Baron seeks Tamashi’s piece and will do anything, and kill anyone, to get it with the aid of his cruel right hand man Tiger Chan.  Meanwhile, Harry resigned from the Ninja Empire to reform the organization’s criminality but has been unearthed by the Empire’s Supreme leader with an ultimatum to return the pieces of the Golden Ninja Warrior.  With the help of his cocky and confident partner, Jaguar Wong, Harry and Jaguar investigate into Tamashi and his brother’s death, try and protect their surviving sister from those looking for Tamashi’s piece of the Golden Ninja warrior, and defeat any Baron or Empire warriors that stand in their way.

One of the numerous released Godfrey Ho productions in which the director shot new scenes with Caucasian, abroad actors and edited them into an pre-existing film his company owned the international rights.  “Ninja Terminator,” a bestowed title at the height of James Cameron’s highly popular cybernetic, time-travelling thriller “The Terminator,” is the 1986 Hong Kong feature that breathes new life into the South Korean,1984 released, martial arts gangster film “Uninvited Guest” as Ho splices new additional footage to create his own, half-cocked storyline for a cost-effective ninja themed film starring a recognizable white actor.  Ho writes and directs the IFD Films production that’s produced by Ho’s makeshift Ninja feature team of Betty Chan (“Ninja Strike Force”), Joseph Lai (“Full Metal Ninja”), and Steve Kam who regularly took popular U.S. tiltes and integrated them into their own for advantageous marketing.

Where to start with actors and actresses?  Two films shot in two completely different times with renamed characters and additional characters in a jumbled-up mesh of a ninja film.  Lets start with Richard Harrison, an American actor with muscles and good looks who couldn’t quite land the parts he wanted in his home country but found lead man success in other parts of the world, especially in the filmic industries of Italy (“Orgasmo Nero,” “One Hundred Thousand Dollars for Ringo”) earlier in his career and, in this case, Hong Kong (“Inferno Thunderbolt,” Diamond Ninja Force”) later in his career collaborating a handful of times with filmmaker Godfrey Ho.  For “Ninja Terminator,” Harrison isn’t a stealthy cybernetic ninja master but rather an idealistic, benevolent ninja master sporting a unique camo ninja-yoroi to, I guess, blend in around his home and urban environment…?  Still, the camouflaged attire has to be more clandestine than the hot red ninja-yorois of the Ninja Empire.  At least fellow western actor, Jonathan Wattis, as one of the three ninjas who stole a piece of the Golden Ninja Warrior statue and became a crime lord himself, donned a near traditional, black-dyed ninja garb.  Harrison and Wattis do the best they can being spliced into Jack Lam’s film “Uninvited Guest.”  Reconstructed or replayed to be named Jaguar Wong, for his character’s Jaguar fighting style, Jack Lam bests Wattis and levels with Harrison for screen time as a fellow principal lead despite the 2-3 year difference between principal photography but Jaguar fits in aptly enough into an inept chaos of a near nonsensical ninja narrative that jumps to inconclusive subplots with little connective tissue to the core plot.  Maria Francesca, Jeong-lee Hwang, James Chan, Simon Kim, Phillip Ko, Keith Mak, Tae-Joon Lee, Nancy Chan, Gerald Kim, Andrew Lee, and Eric Leung costar.

Cheaply made knockoffs and spirited, gung-ho capitalizing on popular film titles saw fists-of-fury in Hong Kong circa 1970s through the 1980s, much the same way the Italians also didn’t believe the copyright laws when they too took advantage with unofficial sequels, especially in the horror genre.  “Ninja Terminator” is obvious one of those projects and the sly Godfrey Ho manipulated the international market to garner new public interest in what is basically an old film with additional scene, a scheme done pretty much on the regular in various countries, even in the United States.  However, “Ninja Terminator” is not a good movie but rather a hilariously bad one weighed down by irrelevant offshoots to flesh out a scantily structured half-script.  With the additional scenes of Richard Harrison and the others spliced in, plus Jack Lam’s one-man army showdowns against henchmen and sub-bosses, the combat saves “Ninja Terminator” from full frontal embarrassment with competent choreographed fights, plenty of sword, ninja star, and ninja trickery play, and a fair amount of acrobatics, even if some of the scenes are just gratuitous cartwheels and flips in an ostentatious display of skill and of trying to raise the value of a low-budget production.  Granted, there are no cartwheels or flips in Jack Lam’s storyline, nor is there a single ninja, but Lam’s take-on-the-world scenes are confidently hip for the period and that is the jelly to the bold Ninja peanut butter that makes “Ninja Terminator” work on an amusingly bad level. 

Neon Eagle Video, a subsidiary label of Cauldron Films that focuses on the best of the worse of Asian cinema, scour the globe and deliver the best and authorized reproduction of “Ninja Terminator” on Blu-ray in North America, restored from a 4K scan of the original negative and presented in its proper anamorphic widescreen aspect ratio of CinemaScope 2.39:1. I must agree with Neon Video Eagle that this transfer renders the cleanest and clearest reproduction to date, likely ever, in this compilation of source materials to render a corrective, singular 4K scan. The AVC encoded, 1080p high-def resolution, BD50 offers ample storage to limit or squash any compression indelicacies on an already delicate Godfrey Ho production that’s been bootlegged to bastardization for decades. Corrected color timing sizes up the landscape, the mise-en-scene elements, and the characters too with a diffused scheme that holds firm vibrancy across an early 1980’s hip and preppy Japanese fashion. The audio is a forced English dub with an encoded LPCM 2.0 mono. The ADR definitely is seen and sounded as expected with total unsynchronized lips and dialogue, especially when the story is forged from splitting two films into one. What’s also evident amongst the three-prong, rough-and-ready sound design is the unrealistic fighting sounds, overzealous and overexerted to be more like the Hong Kong Kung-Fu movies of the decade before. The last element is the soundtrack that’s got some funk and groove in its ninja-yorois that likely borrowed and repurposed from another Godfrey Ho production to fit this particular need. Optional English subtitles are avaialble.. Special features include brand new material, including an audio commentary by Kenneth Brorsson and Phil Gillon of the Podcast on Fire Network, a second audio commentary by Asian film expert Arne Venema and Mike Leeder, an interview with director Godfrey Ho Ninja Master discussing the popularity of ninja films in the United States and the appropriation of the “Terminator” title as well as touching upon Richard Harrison and his onboarding onto the film, a second Godfrey Ho interview alongside separately dubber Simon Broad Golden Ninja Dubs discussing the quick and loose ADR of Hong Kong cinema, an interview with “These Fits Break Bricks” co-author Chris Poggiali Ninjamania, and the trailer. Neon Eagle Video’s standard release, showcased inside a clear Blu-ray Amaray, presents new artwork by graphic artist Justin Coffee. The reverse side of the cover holds the still capture composition of the original one-sheet. No insert material included, and the disc is pressed with the same Coffee illustration. The region free disc has a runtime of 90 minutes and though not listed as unrated, the film is surely such.

The First Authorized Blu-ray of “Ninja Terminator” Now Available!