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Blind, Witchy, EVIL! “Beezel” reviewed! (Epic Pictures / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Beeze” is the Witchiest Blu-ray of 2024! Get it here!

May, 1966 – a young boy is murdered, eaten, in his Northeast home.  Nearly six decades later and a series of disappearances and strange deaths in between, a young couple inherent the property that the locals have feared haunted, cursed, and possibly even inhabited by a witch.  As the house-inheriting husband is eager to sell the house to get rid of the reminder of his mother’s abandoning betrayal, the wife is equally eager to keep the house, settle in, and start a family.  The house possesses a presence captured by the corner of the eye, the hairs on the back of the necks, and the overall sense of dread that lies heavy in the pit of the stomach as the more the couple stay in the house, the more the Beezel, a blind evil witch lurking and hiding in the basement, influences their dreams and reality.  Beezel also wants a child and will take what it desires and kill anyone standing the way. 

What the horror genre needs nowadays is a ferocious witch film and I’m not talking the spellcasting, broom-riding, cauldron-congregating kind of witches with black pointed hats, large warty noses, and catty familiars.  I’m talking about hardcore old and ugly broads with an extreme hunger for not just children but for all of humanity, capped off with, perhaps, a good, solid cackle that’ll redefine the iconic figure from the traditional sense to a reverse revolutionized hag rooted in folklore but scorned by life itself.  A few filmmakers have tackled the idea and filmmaker Aaron Fradkin has taken a stab at it with “Beezel,” a 2024 Northeast-shot, visceral supernatural witch tale that was originally a short film expanded into a full-length feature film based on the short’s positive feedback.  The “Val” director cowrites with wife and fellow “Val” actor-writer, Victoria Fradkin under their cofounded independent film production company Social House Films. 

Because “Beezel” was first a short film, to flesh out a full length, the Fradkins smartly built around the short story an episodic series around it that spans decades.  Different actors are casted to reflect different periods, circumstances, and develop a variety of reactions to keep with and keep going a timeline of change, connected all by one single element, the carnivorous blind witch lurking in the basement shadows.  1966 starts off with more of child’s perspective who opens a secret bathroom hatch to the basement to see his pleading-for-food mother before his arm is snatched and he’s rip-to-shreds off camera.  The vicious and quick opener doesn’t leave open the door of development and we don’t get a real sense of anything or anyone until LeJon Woods (“The Hangman”) meets Bob Gallagher (“I Don’t Want to Drink Your Blood Anymore”) about 20 years later outside the home as the documentarian and homeowner, Apollo and Harold Weems.  Having seen now three films his this year, LeJon Woods feels very much like a one-note actor playing the same person throughout those roles.  Gallagher dips into a more sinister cover as the seemingly Mr. Rogers or Ned Flanders neighbor that drops breadcrumb clues of his dark secret and its one scary in-character conversation he has with Apollo.  From there, we jump another 20 years into the early 2000s with what was initially the original short film of an at-home nurse named Naomi (Caroline Quigley) replacing another nurse who disappeared in the Weems house.  This leads into the third act really sets up nicely Harold Weems second wife, Deloris (Kimberly Salditt Poulin), who’s on her deathbed in hospice care and solidifies the tone with a girth of suspense that leads into what would be the final moments left unseen of young couple Lucas and Nova (French actor Nicolas Robin and the director’s wife Victoria Fradkin).  Lucas, who inherited the neighborhood blighted house from his mother Delores, is eager to remove all denotations of his mother from memory, the free-spirited and more forward Nova wants to settle, have children, and start living her life.  Their bond sours overtime with the witch influence invading the subconscious and conscious body for her own ravenous gain in a blood-spilled buffet of knives, guts, and videotape.  The film rounds out with Elise Manning, Leo Wildhagen, and Aaron Fradkin dons the makeup and prosthetics to play the blind witch Beezel.

Fradkin’s able to capture desolate mood with limited production sets.  Most of all the “Beezel” story is set inside Fradkin’s childhood home in Massachusetts and with real, cold, New England snow that latter half of the story takes place.  Every tight and cobwebbed crawl space, every radiator-induced floorboard creak, and every outdated, antiquated, and obsolete feature of his parent’s home gave every ounce of spooky energy to “Beezel,” which, ironically enough, is what Beezel actually inflicts upon the current residents of the house.  Editing and the practical witch effects build the tension and suspense without giving too much away of Beezel’s hideous figure, cherishing Beezel for timely appearances rather than relying on its overuse which often leads to exposing too many rubbery and prosthetic flaws.  The episodic nature also keeps the story from being stale by jumping years, if not decades, that shepherd new characters and new scenarios into the fold as the story evolves through the difference lens of technology, in a half-ominous and half-found footage perspective with the latter being shot in super 8, VHS, and digital handheld camcorder and the original short breaking up the pattern with a microcassette tape deck.  “Beezel” perfects the blend of live-action and found footage without feeling forced and unnecessary with a truly frightening approach to the witch trope that’s worth devouring whole. 

The Social House Films brings the meanest witch this side of 2024 and Dread, the subsidiary label of Epic Pictures Group, who also pushes their own boundaries with “Beezel’s” visceral path, as well as sport some uncommon nudity in one of their films, has the Blu-ray for you! The AVC encoded, 1080p resolution, single-layer BD25 manages to scare through the lower end of capacity format with really no issues with compression. No banding, no blocking, nor any other noticeably ostentatious artefacts to speak about as the rendered image, despite its softer detailer markers, pulls off a passable and potent portentous story through a digital, anamorphic 1.78:1 aspect ratio lens, often switching between media parallels of POV Super 8mm, VHS, and DVX camcorder that vary in levels of detail and grain. Dread Central presents two English audio options, both lossy: a Dolby Digital 5.1 and a Dolby Stereo 2.0. Surrounding, multi-level house atmospherics, various media equipment, in-and-out of the dream subconscious, and, of course, the blend witch herself, create an unfaltering, ample, and competent sound design although the format doesn’t reproduce true fidelity. Back and side channels flourish with frightful house creaks and other environmental elements while basking in the silence for a solid jump scare or building palpable tension. English subtitles, as well as Spanish subtitles, are available for selection. Special features include an in-depth look at the making of the film, Aaron Fradkin’s short films “Doctor Death” and “The Sleep Watcher,” and other Dread Central distributed film trailers. I had aforementioned Beezel not being shown too much in the film but her rather grotesque, bloodied-mouthed face captured in still image, glammed up and embellished for public consumption, graces Epic Pictures’ one-sided, front cover image, warmly soaked in a reddish-orange glow. The disc is pressed with a Scolopendra, or Giant Centipede, coiled over the title. No other tangible items come with the release. The not rated release has a runtime of 82 minutes and is region free for all!

Last Rites: As we close out 2024 with an evil old hag, “Beezel” is one hell of a movie to close out on. Soul-tattering story that spans decades, “Beezel’s” the witch with an incredible insatiability and her hunger will have you recoil in fear of being the main course.

“Beeze” is the Witchiest Blu-ray of 2024! Get it here!

Low Box Office Attendance Won’t Stop This EVIL From a Having a 4K Release! “Zyzzyx Road” reviewed! (Dark Arts Entertainment / 4K UHD and Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Zyzzyx Road” Collector’s Edition Now Available on Amazon.com!

Tax accountant Grant has become an unfulfilling, steady husband and father bred by many years of walking the straight line.  When he meets the young, hot Marissa while gambling in Las Vegas, Grant quickly becomes enamored by the youthful blonde with the two of them ending up in a hotel room together, but when Marissa’s violently jealous boyfriend Joey breaks into the room, Grant inadvertently kills him in self-defense.  Eager to do anything for Marissa, the once unadventurous accountant lugs Joey’s corpse into the back of his car and the two drive hours through the night to the middle of the Las Vegas desert off Zyzzyx Road in attempt to bury him.  Intermittent visions and voices drive Grant to put into question Marissa’s intentions and the death of Joey, whose has suddenly absconded the trunk and is out for blood for jilted revenge, puts a snag into his plan of being with Marissa forever. 

Infamously known at one time for being the lowest grossing theatrically run film ever, only making a grand total of $30, “Zyzzyx Road” is an American mystery-thriller from “The Kindred” and “Return of the Living Dead III” writer and debut directorial of John Penney.  The 2006 independent feature, based off and intentionally mislabeled Zzyzx Road, a 4.5 mile-long road in the same name California town formerly known as Soda Springs, was mishandled during it’s limited release by showing in just one cinema during it’s theatrical stretch, being dethroned by “The Worst Movie Ever!” In 2011 with a total earning of $11, and rightfully so.  “Zyzzyx Road” did not justifiably garner such notoriety but isn’t totally faultless it’s misunderstood essence.  Shot in the Mojave Desert, the film’s principal star Leo Grillo funded the project under an LLC with Penny and casting director Valerie McCaffrey serving as co-producers.  

As tax accountant Grant, Leo Grillo has no issues stepping into a role that’s supposed to sound as vanilla as the character’s vocation.  Whether it’s Grillo’s limited expressive range or perhaps playing Grant to the very letter, Grant’s monotony doesn’t exude any kind of excitement, suspense, trepidation, or passion.  It short, Grant is about as plain as white bread.  Being in the embrace of a younger woman nor skirmishing with a violent man in the desert seems to get Grillo out of his austere shell, even when in the final, when Grant is supposed to be elevated as an unpredictable loose cannon, the Massachusetts-born, animal rescuer and sanctuary founder can’t muster a three out of ten on an intensity scale.  Opposite Grillo and a ten on the intensity scale, for any he’s ever made, is the late Tom Sizemore at what was perhaps the height of his drug-fueled career.  The “Relic” and “Saving Private Ryan” actor’s aggression is harnessed for Joey, Marissa’s out-of-control yet controlling ex-boyfriend.  Sizemore’s unusual hand movements, long wide-eyed stares, and sneering tone provide the fervor needed for the thriller as the two men mix it up all because of the sweet and innocent Marissa.  Or is she sweet and innocent?  Katherine Heigl (“Valentine,” “Bride of Chucky”) had not really blown up yet in her career but the then up-and-coming, mid-20 something Heigl is playing a seemingly odd choice for a late teen woman, but Heigl pulls off being a candy-coated frighten kitten for as long as the story says so as Marissa may not be as she appears.  Heigl’s performance grounds the two extremes within her male co-star counterparts, bringing with her a better operating perspective for “Zyzzyx Road’s” twisting, winding, out-in-the-middle of nowhere road. 

Within “Zyzzyx Road’s” framework, therein lies a good premise.  However, the story, as a whole, has a number a plot holes that notch out and negate earlier elements along its enigmatic journey of a couple heading to desert without a game plan to bury a human corpse.  The rewound flashbacks that hark to the catalytic incident work to an extent to setup visuals and circumstances audiences are thrusted into right after the opening credits roll and this structural design is a cognitive tell, a non-linear, trope device used to say that everything is not initially laid out.  Crucial pieces of the puzzle are omitted for something that is more inconspicuously afoot that will explain the whole ordeal in an epiphanic ah-ha moment.  Penney ten breaks the film in two with a sharp snap, presenting “Zyzzyx Road” now with more than one perspective that changes the game from one thriller genus to another thriller genus. 

Brian Yuzna and John Penney are quickly making a name for themselves in the boutique label department. Penney’s own “Zyzzyx Road” receives the ultra high-definition treatment with a Collector’s Edition, 2-Disc 4K UHD and Blu-ray combo set with the restoration supervised by Penney and presented in HDR 10 and the original widescreen 1.85:1 aspect ratio. The 4K is HVEC encoded, 2160p resolution, with a BD66 capacity while the Blu-ray is AVC encoded, 1080p resolution, BD50. The UHD provides a cleaner look with intrinsic detailing mostly around daylit exteriors while both formats instill finesse with the fathomable. Where not fathomable are the nighttime interiors and exteriors that trade shadow and depth delineation for lineless and dark atmospherics under an interesting choice of garage grading until multi-perspectives emerge, dichotomizing the grading between a super flat and natural, desert sunlight to shed light. No signs of compression issues during these scenes which would be more than half of the runtime, biding its time with the cat-and-mouse ménage à trois in the desert. Practical effects mixed with visual effects endure the early 2000s variety of inorganic movement and off-texturing. Another interesting aspect of this collector’s set is the audio contains a lossless and a lossy surround sound mix with an English DTS-HD 5.1 Master Audio and a Dolby Digital 5.1. Not sure why there’s a need for both on both formats as most cine- and audiophiles would prefer more fidelity over compressed, reproduced audio any day of the week; yet, both files render a clean presentation with forward and prominent dialogue. Being in the desert where space is abundant, depth appears deeply snubbed by the initial recording and sound design, but the added ambience of critter chirping, heavy winds, and rustling of the brush diffuse nicely into the whole that barely isolates and recognizes the unique distances. English subtitles are available on both discs. UHD special features is quite compact to the Blu-ray because of the limited capacity with 4K’s size but does come with a new commentary track with actor-producer Leo Grillo and a new commentary with producer-writer-director John Penney. The commentaries, along with a new feature introduction by Grillo and Penney, are also included on the Blu-ray disc, plus The Legacy of Zyzzyx Road, feature-length discussion between Johny Penney, Leo Grillo, and co-producer and casting director Valerie McCaffrey going down memory lane covering everything from the film’s genesis to the box office bomb. Also encoded is 11 archival behind-the-scenes featurettes, an older interview with John Penney, a then & now shooting location revisitation, storyboard to live shots, a storyboard slideshow, the music video The Mystery of Zyzzyx Road, and the trailer. Outside from the inside, Dark Arts Entertainment’s physical presentation comes with a cardboard O-slipcover that speaks to the story’s puzzling mystery in a compositional layout with actual puzzle pieces with the flipside displaying no technical or credit information but rather a series of scattered photographs of certain scenes. The black 4K UHD Amaray case has the original one sheet artwork with the backside filling in the technical and credit information; however, there’s a noticeable error in the listing of both formats where the back cover doesn’t list the Blu-ray. Instead, 4K UHD is listed twice and the corresponding supplements representing the 4K UHD and the Blu-ray. At the bottom, under cast and crew acknowledgments, you’ll see both formats separated for A/V specifics. On the inside, each disc is kept in separately, one on each side, and pressed with arid Leo Grillo with a shotgun in hand. Both formats are hardcoded region A playback and have a runtime of 81 minutes in it’s not rated tale.

Last Rites: Though spelled differently from the actual road Zzyzx, “Zyzzyx Road” isn’t a long, dull stretch of unattractive landscape the box office numbers had suggested. Yes, “Zyzzyx Road” has potholes, or rather plot holes, that need to be addressed and filled and some minor tweaking with its cast, but the tangling, tangoing trio of Heigl, Grillo, and Sizemore is an amusing 81 minutes of cerebral-damage cat-and-mouse.

“Zyzzyx Road” Collector’s Edition Now Available on Amazon.com!

Oh, Unholy, EVIL Night! Oh, “Silent Bite” reviewed! (Cleopatra Entertainment / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Santa Clauses vs Vampires in “Silent Bite” Now Available!

Four armed bank robbers hold up in a sleepy hotel on a snowy Christmas night as they hunker down and wait for their police-diverting and getaway driver to double back for them.  With the front deskman on the take, a quiet place to shelter, and no cops in sight, the eclectic bunch of thieves believe they’ve escaped scot-free from the long arm of the law with $1 million dollars in cash.  Unbeknownst to them, the desk clerk didn’t disclose the other guests staying at the hotel, a vampire mistress and her three daughters who have been hidden away waiting for the felons’ arrival to feed on their blood.  Refuge becomes an inescapable trap as the nearly unstoppable and ruthless force of beautiful, deadly women bear down on the scantily armed thieves whose automatic rifles are no match against the vampiric bloodsuckers.  With options limited, they rely on each other and a bitten young woman to survive the night.

Christmas time is upon us.  Joy to the world!  While cheerful idols of Saint Nick and Jesus Christ are erected for one of world’s holiest of days, while candy-canes, gumdrops, mistletoes, and wreath deck the brilliantly warm, primary-punchy colored lights, and while neatly wrapped presents present themselves under the garishly garnished evergreen tree with neat little tied ribbons and bows for all the good little boys and girls, the rest of us unsavory lot have blood red and scary monsters still on the brain.  This is where Christmas themed horror movies come in handy, a little blend of both worlds and holidays to sate our dueling desire to enjoy each holiday.  To begin this year off right, Taylor Martin’s 2024 vampire horror, Christmas comedy, “Silent Bite,” is the first genre-splitting seasonal movie to come across our desk!  Martin, actress of “Till Death Do We Rot” and “Anathema” turned director of short films, helms her first feature from a script by British writer-actor Simon Phillips, who is no stranger to the possible malevolence of a good Christmas horror film having penned and starred in a serial killer couple Mr. and Mrs. Clause “Once Upon A Time in Christmas” and it’s sequel “The Nights Before Christmas.”  Filmed at the Jolly Roger Inn & Resort hotel of Otter Lake, Ontario, Phillips produces the feature alongside Mem Ferda (“K-Shop,” “Bonehill Road”) and executive producers Ern Gerardo and Anubandh Lakhera under the Nox Luna Media Group, 9I Studios, EAG Enterprises, and Dystopian Films labels.

Not only does Phillips write and produce, he stars in the principal role of Father Christmas, the leader of the armed thieves who perhaps is the most even-keeled to bear the competency of a bad guy constitution.  The British national adds a morsel of mercenary radiancy to his role but can’t quite be all that he can be because Father Christmas is too busy babysitting a squabbling, bambino-acting crew too hopped up on booze, drugs, insults, and their social awkward hangups to level up to Father Christmas cool, calm, and collected.  The randomly selected pool of eclectic elves with codenames for hired robbery include the monolith muscle of the feral Snowman (Michael Swatton, “Snow and Blood”), the rootin-tootin’ hardnose Grinch (Nick Biskupek, “Until Death”), and the technological-savvy and brilliantly awkward Prancer (Luke Avoledo, feature film debut).  Phillips, Swatton, and Biskupek have collaborated in more recent projects, such as “What Lurks Beneath” and “The Mouse Trap,” with all three men also having a piece of the two Adrian Langley “Butchers” films pie in their own regard between original and sequel, evoking a comfortability in line and action delivery dynamic when they bicker amongst each other.  There’s a fifth member of the crew, Rudolph (Dan Molson, also from “Butchers Book Two:  Raghorn”), who is not directly described as the leader but led us to believe the decoy driver hand selected all members of Santa’s purloining party pitted against a stronger, deadlier, and more conniving coven of women vampires with Sayla de Goede (“The Nights Before Christmas”) playing the matriarch.  Goede really hams up the performance of a Victorian vampire who’s snobby and seducing by leaving threatening and opposing at the door.  Mother rears three women turned vampires turned daughters in Lucia (Louisa Capulet, “Butchers Book Three:  Bonesaw”), Selene (Sienne Star, “Fear Street:  Prom Queen”), and Victoria (Kelly Schwartz, “The Bermuda Triangle Project”) and, once again, are failed characters to bring the intensity required as hungry seductress for blood and sex, said as much in the exposition between Mother and daughters.  The caboose of the “Silent Bite” cast has Camille Blott and Paul Whitney (“Blood and Snow”) play the recent bitten, love interest of Prancer and a graceless Renfield-type hotel clerk, respectively.  

What started out as a high energy concept of a comic-book style opening credits, providing audience the background bank robbery and chase epilogue, quickly decelerates to brisk walk of more-or-less the two groups intermingling amongst themselves until what basically becomes the climax of the story.  For a tale that plot parallels the Robert Rodriguez-directed, Quentin Tarantino-penned “From Dusk till Dawn,” a severe lack of ceaseless combustible action gives way to just a bunch of roundabout buildup to avoid spending bank on blank cartridges, violent effects, and choreography.  Instead, the AR-15s and handguns are rarely fired, gory effects are reduced to CGI spurts and theatrical blood rivulets down the chin, and a bunch of exposition, which in all fairness is written well and has concentrations of amusing tongue-and-cheek wit.  Developing the characters to their full potential is wasted because conflict between mortal and immortal arrives too late into the story and all that rev-exciting, rock soundtrack-blasting title card illustration at the beginning pseudo-fed a spoonful of high-octane snake oil.  The overall aesthetic of the story indulges in the festivities of the yuletide season of snowy exteriors, garish garlands and other Christmastime decorations, and our five anti-heroes in Santa themed suits but the visual themes and motifs are limited to such and are interrupted by grinchier clunkers of the aforesaid blood spurts and UV light incineration visual effects.

Arriving on an AVC encoded, 1080p, single-layer BD25 on a bloodsucking sleigh is not Santa Clause but Santa Clause with fangs in Cleopatra Entertainment’s “Silent Bite.”  Presented in a widescreen 2.39:1 aspect ratio, the wider lens isn’t put to good use for a story that’s mostly set inside the tight confines of a hotel interior.  Even the pool room, where an opportunity to expand across a full-length swimming deck, is an opportunity that’s missed.  There are some exterior scenes of the Jolly Roger Resort & Inn as well as Rudolph’s eluding of the law that take the wider aspect ratio for a ride but are limited to these peripheral portions.  What really stands out are the colorful Christmas motifs of brilliant red, greens, and blues amongst the scantily cladded seasonal décor and while those areas are limited, the palette is vibrant and saturated to create a warm and cozy atmosphere contrasted against the dark snow.  Details are generally pleasing albeit select scenes where speckling occurs, such as Snowman dunking himself underwater that loose quite a sum of the previously clean image.  Two English audio options are available, a lossy Dolby Digital 5.1 mix and an uncompressed LPCM 2.0 Stereo.  Once again, Cleopatra Entertainment, the movie entertainment subsidiary of Cleopatra Records, continues to restrain their releases from full fidelity potential with not only a lossy surround sound format but also, compositionally, with combined tracks that rise and dive in bitrate, suppressing the audio quite a bit and then, randomly at varying intervals, relieves the pressure to provide a full-bodied, atmospheric contingent of diegetic sounds.  The notifiable difference is staggering and greatly exampled by Simon Phillips voice that sounds anemically high at a lower decoding rate then, all of the sudden, booms with accented resonation and vitality in it’s true uncompressed state. The uncompressed audio layer may not be as expansive but contains no stark erroneousness.  English captions are optional.  A scene clip fluid Blu-ray menu, framed by that same dark red, jet-black delimitation has a special features section only to offer little of said special features with a theatrical trailer and pictorial slideshow.  The physical release has a nice and simplistic black and red illustrative cover that’s a tell-all of what to expect.  The Blu-ray Amaray that holds the disc pressed with the same front cover art has no other supplements.  The region free Blu-ray has a runtime of 90 minutes and is unrated.

Last Rites: “Silent Bite” may not be the main present in Santa’s sack of sordid slayers but it’s definitely a stocking stuffer worthy of kicking off the Christmas season.

Santa Clauses vs Vampires in “Silent Bite” Now Available!

This EVIL Thanksgiving Bird Has Been Overcooked. “Amityville Turkey Day” reviewed! (SRS Cinema / DVD)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Amityville Turkey Day” – That’s No Cranberry Sauce! Check Out the DVD Here!

Rocco, a sleazy indie film director, is given one last project to director with the stipulation of not to squander the funds and to make a competent hit movie without completely making principal photography a nightmare for the cast and crew.  Having landed a large estate to shoot his film, the house comes with a manservant named Bram to take care of their needs and see to the estate grounds.  When a man-eating Turkey from Hell, embodied by the evil soul of once infamous doctor, comes home for Thanksgiving dinner, Bram aims to curate a fine feast for the abrasive, wicked bird from the indie film production.  As cast and crew begin to dwindle down and disappear, the show-running producer takes charge to motivate and take care of the slipping through the cracks mess of, yet again, another Rocco botched production.  Yet, the turkey still hungers and when all the excess meat is consumed, he will then find a human mate to reincarnate himself for human form. 

After promising myself, swearing up and down, that I would never, ever watch and review another Amityville titled infused film again, “Amityville Turkey Day” had sucked me right back in, like a moth to the flame into another mindless and pointless, could I even call it this, money-grabbing exploitation of the Amityville title letdown of a holiday-comedy horror film.  The 2024, microbudget Thanksgiving themed sequel to “Amityville Thanksgiving” brings back the writing-and-directing duo of Will Collazo Jr. (“Amityville Shark House,” “Amityville Apocalypse”) and Julie Anne Prescott (indie film scream-queen of “The Amityville Harvest” and “Amityville Thanksgiving”) to add a little more sanguine stuffing in their continuation of a terrorizing wild Turkey.  Alternatively known as “Amityville Thanksgiving 2,” the feature is an indiegogo crowdfunded campaign that raised the $10,000 goal and became a Will Collazo Jr.’s Cult Cinema production.

The sequel doesn’t return most of the cast from the film.  Most sequels don’t, right?  Instead, a whole new batch of rough puff principals are basted over the story to try and moisten the flavor of a rather rough-and-ready follow-up.  Amongst the medley filled in with B-movie talent, there doesn’t seem to be a one standout lead role to take charge in what is more of convergence of counterproductive parts that overlap and overstep each other’s storyline.  Characters also disappear and reappear without context to about where they were and where they go, for example the sleazy director Rocco (Michael Ruggiere) vanishes for most of the story’s midriff and then just reappears in the third act without a sense of where he’s been.  Erica Dyer (“The Town Without Halloween,” “Attack of the Corn Zombies”) plays one of the few characters with an actual intact arc as the pissed off producer Ivy who storms in and takes charge of Rocco’s quickly deteriorating production, proving to be a competent leader to quickly organize the film crew into action, but as cast and crew begin to drop like flies and vanishing from the estate set within the Thanksgiving week, Ivy’s honed in focus doesn’t register the killer Turkey, voiced by Steven Kiseleski (“Amityville Karen,” “Amityville Bigfoot”), and it’s righthand caretaker Bram (Dino Castelli, “Screamwalkers”) slowly filleting the filmmakers for feasting.  A large portion of the character pie is throwaway fodder for the Turkey with only a couple of others to stand out with pointed out substance, that also point back to “Amityville Thanksgiving, with Kevin (Tim Hatch, “Amityville in Space, and the other actor to return from “Amityville Thanksgiving) on a mission to find out what happened to his sister from “Amityville Thanksgiving,” and his planted actress friend Jessica (Jen Elyse Feldy, “The Elder Hunters,” “Camp Blood 666 Part 2”), but their roles do get lost in the fray of the frenzied packed, plot hole-riddled storyline that crams in too much too hastily inside a jerry-built and unnecessary tale.  David Perry, Clint Beaver, Amanda Flowers, Shannon Hall, Jeff Webb, Thomas J. O’Brien, Ralph Rey, James Janso, Stephen Bloodworth, and the late Mark C. Fullhardt, to which this film is dedicated to, fill out as the at will Turkey fodder. And I hope all my listings of “Amityville” named films has brought awareness to this exploitative issue!

“Amityville Turkey Day” is no “Thankskilling.”  Jordan Downey has mastered the smack-talking, rude-with-tude, killer Turkey in style, substance, and outrageous kills.  Will Collazo Jr.’s film feels more like a cheap knockoff to the likes of the Italian unauthorized remakes, sequels, and spinoffs of American films of the 1980s, attaching the Amityville name to draw attention and sponge off the legitimate franchise that has now become a disgusting and disheartening running joke and parody of unoriginality. “Amityville Turkey Day” mirrors every ounce of that last sentiment with a shoddy, low rent feature that not only drags the Amityville title deeper into the overkill mud but also hurts the exposure of Jordan Downey’s “Thankskilling” to those viewers who do get their unsuspecting hands onto Collazo’s film first and leaves a residual bad taste toward more competent Turkey trot terrorizers.  That bitterness is contributed by the lack of story structure and coherency, a lost sense of unique personality and entertainment, and a brutal monotone flow that stagnates upon just one setting over the course of a few days, which is a major gap considering the film crew disappearing here and there during that time and no one happens to care or even hardly notice.  Comedy elements fall flat, reduced to fart and sexual gags and missing-the-mark cheap insults surrounded by dull kills, especially for a Turkey that goes for the juggler.  Very few moments of levity and intrigue can be pulled from “Amityville Turkey Day” with the puppeteered evil Turkey lobbing an occasional humorous one liner – “Look at all that blood!  She’s a squirter!” – and the manifested closet gimp is too strange of a guilty-allure to ignore, and these few and far in between bright spots add a layer of color to what is dull overall. 

The crowdfunded clucker had arrived just in time for this year’s Thanksgiving courtesy of indie film friendly distributor SRS Cinema.  “Amityville Turkey Day” is housed on an MPEG2 encoded, 480p resolution, 5 gigabyte DVD-R.  According to the crowdfunding page, Collazo offered an all-around bigger and better experience from the bareboned, nearly no-budget, precursor, yet the sequel didn’t live up to expectations and appeared to be more of the same slapdash as the first and this translates to a writeable DVD disc with a fuzzy picture, smoothed edges, and plenty of posterization and banding that digs the grave deeper for this overdone bird.  The ungraded picture produces unnatural lighting from a series of gelled flood lights, more so with deep red, aimed upward to evoke thicker upper shadow positions.  What the result constitutes with the unhelpful lower resolution camera is an overly hot and overly diffused image in what would be Turkey and Bram basement scheming scenes that renders any leftover details washed away from the effect.  The English LPCM 2.0 mono track is a flat fixture via the onboard microphone on the digital camera that creates an anemic dialogue presence with subtle distortion.  Range consists of post-production sound effects and the close quartered rooms of the “estate” has depth pretty much nonexistent.  I will say dialogue is prominent and clear though higher decibels overtake and clip the microphone’s volume intake.  English subtitles are optionally available. The release’s special features include a director’s commentary, a making-of behind-the-scenes, the original trailer, and other SRS Cinema prevuews. Aside from an enticing illustrated cover art, the DVD has no other supplemental cover art, inserts, and etc. “Amityville Turkey Day” has a runtime of 93 minutes, is region free, and comes not rated.

Last Rites: “Amityville Turkey Day” is difficult to gobble up. In fact, “Amityville Turkey Day” is much like having to go to your great Aunt’s house for a third Thanksgiving dinner of the day, the one that is the family’s black sheep, wears a muumuu, and her house smells like cheap cigarettes and cat dandruff, it’s a hard no thank you.

“Amityville Turkey Day” – That’s No Cranberry Sauce! Check Out the DVD Here!

The Jack-O-Lantern of EVIL Curses! “The Pumpkin Man” reviewed! (Scream Team Releasing / DVD)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Don’t Accidently Curse Yourself by Not Owning “The Pumpkin Man” on DVD!

The town of Cromwell lives and breathes off the demonic urban legend known as Pumpkin Man during the town’s full embracement of the Halloween season. College student Catherine, the town’s biggest savant of Pumpkin Man lore, has been given a tidbit of information of where to look for clues in discovering the lost book of spells that can summon the demon. After Catherine incantates the book’s passages, the frenetic young woman receives the intended reaction out of her friends, to scare the living daylights out of them with a legendary prank, but as true legend goes, those who read the words and summon Pumpkin Man back from the depths of Hell will become cursed to die by the demon’s elongated claws. Now, Catherine and her friends are haunted while they sleep, and their reality is twisted while awake as the Pumpkin Man toys with them until those who evoke his name is dead.

Halloween may be over, Thanksgiving too, but the spirit and the fear will always remain, especially when we all embark into the jolliest times of year.  There would be no shame in watching “The Pumpkin Man” while drinking hot cocoa and basking in the warm glow of your red, white, and green tree lights as you sit in the dark.  The glow of the television setup will keep you cozy and warm as a tall, pumpkin-headed demon literally rips the faces off cursed kids in director Ryan Sheets’ first feature-length film based off his short films series of the titular, iconic character.  Sheets’ inconspicuous indie franchise has spawned 5 short film sequels from the original 2016, 4-minute short, including a versus pitted against another Ryan Sheets’ regular character Kreepy the Clown.  Sheets cowrites the feature with Nick Romary, the original Pumpkin Man actor Jeff Rhodes, and his wife Janae Muchmore, pieced together by the central Florida team’s production company South Ridge Films with Sheets’ daytime colleague, fellow attorney Jason P. Herman, footing most of the bill as executive producer. 

Unlike the shorts, the feature features a whole new cast of carefully crafted victims for the demon to shake up and slaughter.  Even the Pumpkin Man himself is not played by Jeff Rhodes, who previous played the titular villain by more slasher-esque means with a butcher’s knife and a slow gait.  Instead, Ryan Sheets reimagines Pumpkin Head’s supernatural aesthetic and bearing by playing the demon gourd himself, in stilts, with less Michael Myers essence, and providing a proper name for the demon of Fall known as Kürbis.  The holiday spirited demon with a Cromwell history of whomever summons him will be cursed to die by him plagues a new set of fool-hearted conjurers nearly three centuries after a supposed Cromwell witch took her own life to stop the demon.  The film introduces the first-time principal role for Barbara Desa, a social media influencer and Orlando-based actress with a ton of a spunk, as Catherine Quinn, a quirky, Kürbis-obsessed Cromwell denizen with no real substantial motivation for finding the lost book of Kürbis other than to play a Halloween trick on her friends and be heedless to the consequential power it holds.  This makes Catherine dangerously unstable, and she feels more like a villain than the Pumpkin Head when irresponsibly meddling with something she truly doesn’t understand, compromising not only her own life but her friends too for fun at their expense.  The development of supporting characters outshines the simpleton needs of the principal Catherine as her friends, and outside the clique but stay in close proximity, find themselves having to make choice, such examples lie with Catherine’s best friend Jenny (“Stephanie Kirves) who chooses the demise of another just to save her own skin while Cather’s cop older brother Tim (Estaban Abanto) can’t ignore the gruesome facts of his little sister’s involvement in a couple of Cromwell murders and disappearances.  There’s also Michael (Matthew Beaton), a potential love-interest for Catherine being pulled from out of the friend zone and into more flirtatious foundations but is quickly blocked by the presence of Pumpkin Man’s uncanny ability to enter dreams and stir their existence into an unbalanced waking nightmare.  “The Pumpkin Man” rounds out with more local Floridian casting with Ariel Taylor, Krysti Reif, and Josh Rutgers.

This isn’t the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. “The Pumpkin Man” doesn’t start off super strong with a tattered accumulation of characters and backstory that barely carve out the shinier surface’s meatier pith that provides traces of sympathy and capability for situations and characters before the turning point turns dour.  Yet, if you stick around through “The Pumpkin Man’s” missteps, what you get is a progressively better reconstruction of a supernatural slasher that sees some decently gore-soaked effects for an independent production.  The added bonus being the cost-saving aspects of Sir Henry’s Haunted Trail, a Florida Halloween walk-through attraction that provides the spooky atmospherics and ghoulishly made-up cast of jump-scare actors as background or pop-in macabre aesthetics.  What starts as a demon resurrecting, potentially unleashing Hell on Earth represented by Halloween synecdoche, the story hits a turning point and switches gears toward slasher properties that work more ideally with a Freddy Krueger inspired killer, embodying the spirit of Halloween in a different and welcoming way than other Samhain-centric killers with a high seasonal watch repeat and an unforgettable antagonist.

Scream Team Releasing shows what happens when the pumpkin smashes back in “The Pumpkin Man” on DVD home video.  Presented in a widescreen 1.78:1 aspect ratio, the MPEG2, upscaled 1080p, single-layered DVD5 has lower image resolution because of the single layer compression that’s encoded with not only the feature but also a fair amount of bonus pumpkin batch content.  Black areas are not as clean and void with some noticeable posterization, details and overall picture crispness are not as sharp with a smoother contour between interior and exterior scenes, and coloring is often muted with missed opportunities for a punchier palette as the cinematography is completely ungraded, appearing as mostly raw, jittery footage underneath a more dynamic audio layer.  The lossless English Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo levels range from an anemic muffled to just at the edge of overextending the audio capacity but keep in line for better precision.  The diverse band soundtrack livens up downtime sequences to evoke a Halloween and rock or rockabilly mood and the sound design digs into the atmospherics with bug chirps, floorboard creaks, clock ticks, and the intertwinement of the brief ominous minor keys.  Dialogue is clean and clear, but Pumpkin Head’s post-added dialogue doesn’t ride parallel to the actor’s which is slightly isolated and boxy but is not terribly sync to make an audible make-or-break difference.  Extras include a director’s feature accompanying audio commentary with Ryan Sheets, a making-of featurette Carving a Pumpkin, Tales from the Book of Kürbis an 8-part short horror anthological series directed by Ryan Sheets, and two trailers.  The DVD comes with a Casey Booth designed cover art that’s yells diabolical autumn harvest with a disc pressed with a more traditional, evil-cut pumpkin head overtop the orange-colored, rough-carved, and spikey “The Pumpkin Man’ font.  The not rated DVD has a runtime of 91 minutes and is region free for all.

Last Rites: Could “The Pumpkin Man” be worth exploring deeper into the mythos? After many successful short films in the last decade, Ryan Sheets has perfected the formula for his own temporal-traversing, gourd-headed demon and with a little more refining and stamina, we wouldn’t mind seeing “The Pumpkin Man” more on screen, or in our nightmares.

Don’t Accidently Curse Yourself by Not Owning “The Pumpkin Man” on DVD!