Category Archives: comedy

Gimme an E. Gimme a V. Gimme an I. Gimme a L. What’s that Spell? EVIL! “Cheerleaders’ Wild Weekend” reviewed! (MVD Rewind Collection / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Cheerleader’s Wild Weekend” Now Back Available on Blu-ray!

Three rival school’s cheerleader squads board a school bus heading to Sacramento to face off in an annual cheer competition.  Detoured to an isolated, less-traveled road late at night, the bus is hijacked by members of the National American Army of Freedom, a group of ex-football players given the shaft for their individualized reasons.  The play caller leading the group is Wayne Mathews, former star quarterback cut loose from his team because of a bum arm, kidnaps the bus full of teenage girls to extort a handsome ransom to get him and four of his terroristic teammates back into the game of life.  Not looking to harm one hair on girls’ heads, Wayne attempts to keep his colleagues from exploiting their bargaining chips while also keeping to the well-designed plan to evade capture and still obtain the cash prize, but when Wayne’s away, it’s up to the cheerleaders to put their differences aside, come together with their own plan, and give the kidnapper a school spirited taste of their own devious medicine.

An odd hybrid of a sexualized teen comedy, blackmail crime thriller, and sleazy exploitation, “Cheerleaders’ Wild Weekend,” also known as “The Great American Girl Robbery,” hails as a full out filching and fleshy feature from Jeff Werner as his debut feature before helming the dark comedy surrounding the atomic bomb formula-carrying monkey of “Die Laughing,” starring Charles Durning and Peter Coyote, and his subsequent move from fictional film to documentary for the remainder of his career.  The 1979 film is cowritten between D.W. Gilbert and costar and cult actor Jason Williams, “Flesh Gordon” himself.   Adult film executive producer Bill Osco (“Tijuana Blue,” “The Incredible Body Snatchers”) finances the lesser explicit skin flick after the success of “Flesh Gordon” and intense crime spree thriller “Cop Killers,” both films of which have Jason Williams in significant roles in their long time collaboration, and is produced by an onset Chuck Russell who would later go on to write and direct “The Blob” remake and “A Nightmare on Elm Street 3:  Dream Warriors.”

On the cusp adult film actor Jason Williams who didn’t mind showing some skin for “Flesh Gordon” or the parodical tune of the Lewis Carroll kid’s story with “Alice in Wonderland:  An X-Rated Musical Fantasy,” but “Cheerleaders’ Wild Weekend” was different for Williams who not only kept his clothes on for most of the picture but also tried to keep others from taking their clothes off as well.  As quarterback gone quintessential eyes-on-the-prize kidnapper Wayne Mathews, Williams co-drives the narrative from the perspective of the heist in a focused attention on staying one step ahead of the bumbling and birdbrain detectives (Marc Isaacs and Hugh Brennenman).  Kristine DeBell, who co-starred with Williams as the titular character Alice in “Alice in Wonderland:  An X-Rated Musical Fantasy, copiloted as Debbie Williams who became the representative portion of the defenseless, scared, and quite cheeky cheerleaders held captive in a rural cabin as Matthews hones in on the $2 million in ransom money.  While the black and white plan for Mathews is just that, crime comes in many shades of color, and sexuality, and in intelligence within his accomplice network of failed football teammates, a sexually pent-up buxom chaperone, and even the fleeting desires of his younger brother, Billy (Robert Houston, 77’s “The Hills Have Eyes”).  Mathews right hand man George Henderson (Anthony Lewis), Big John Hunsacker (John Albert), and Frankie (Courtney Sands) become the ultimate problem that buries the original crux of the kidnapping with sordid inclinations for physical abuse toward the girls than what Mathews has in mind and becomes the spur for the cheerleaders, including LaSalle (Tracy King, “Mansion of the Doomed”), Wally Ann Wharton (“Up In Smoke”), Deslyn Bernet, and others, to fight back against their deviant, hornier captors. 

Werner’s debut is literally a wavy rollercoaster of pulled back levity with good-time voluptuousness and a strong browbeating back-and-forth rivalry amongst of a few honkytonk barrels of laughs while, in the same breath, can be deeply troubling with its side dishes of attempted rape, verbal abuse, and sexual grooming of what’s supposed to be high school cheerleaders (or maybe College cheerleaders…it’s not very clear in the narrative).  You don’t know whether to laugh in relief or be tense with the unsettling advances.  Plenty of gratuitous nudity doesn’t help the matter as a handful of select leaders of the school packs are willing to bare skin albeit being held at gunpoint in this twofaced tale.  With lead principals Wayne Mathews and Debbie Williams, a firm position is held, a genuine felt love interest is formed, and their unspoken body language is clear to the end, providing much needed release from the grip of ebb-and-flow emotions.  Another push toward the accolades of comedy are the two detectives and a blatennt archetype of undercover cops who, in football terms, fumble their way through a sting operation to catch the crooks while the crooks, meaning the Mathews brothers, find reward and redemption, such as Wayne’s bum arm comes through tossing a bag full of $2 million through the air and into the getaway car, with their indifferent yet simultaneous compassion for the held cheerleaders.  $2 Million in $20 dollar notes is about 220lbs per my calculations so that’s one heck of a throwing arm! 

Rewind back to 1979 with MVD’s Rewind Collection label and check out “Cheerleaders’ Wild Weekend” on their new Blu-ray release.  The 1080p high-definition presentation comes onto an AVC encoded, BD25 with the widescreen aspect ratio of 1.78:1, cropped slightly from the original 1.85:1.  The print used for the transfer looks to be print from the now defunct label, Scorpion Releasing, for the company’s 2009 Blu-ray that’s been out of print for some time now.  Print care helps define a broader color palette with the occasional pop of red or yellow moments of higher contrast moments and details, such as glass speckling, groove shadows and textures of a varietal of hair color and consistencies, and other miniscule points of the milieu that emerge through, or pork through according to Courtney Sands’ large white shirt pokies, but leading into lesser light lends to a crushed blacks that swallow object definition and shape.  However, there is some print damage in the form of dust and dirt, a few instances of vertical scratching, and what looks to be cutting damage during a scene transition.  Unlike the Scorpion Releasing Blu-ray that encoded the DTS-HD MA audio codec, the MVD release uses an uncompressed English LPCM mono that sizes up fidelity of the original track.  Surprising being a 25Gig capacity, the uncompressed files appear to maximize the audio without compromising quality.  The verbose dialogue has elevated appeal without steeping to an imbalance, making every individual voice seem like they’re on the same plane of existence in the clean and clear rendition.  Ambience noise is inlaid with consideration for medium range and depth that’s required of this production, mostly close-range gunfire, tire screeches, engine noise, and chases through the brush, that are within arm’s length or a stone’s throw from the camera.  English subtitles are available for selection.  Special features are from the Scorpion Releasing’s archive with an audio commentary with director Jess Werner, actress Tracey King, and editor Gregory McClatchy, a second audio commentary with principal actress Kristine DeBell, an interview with Debell, an interview with principal actor Jason Williams, an interview with Tracey King aka Marilyn Joi, an interview with Leon Isaac Kennedy, an alternate title card sequence with “The Great American Girl Robbery,” a photo gallery, and the original theatrical trailer.  The primarily white and red colored, O-slip cover art has a retrograde façade of a VHS rental complete with mock peeling stickers and dirty edges overtop the film’s marketing of a half-naked cheerleader covered just in pom-poms.  Blu-ray Amaray case sports same image but cleaner without the faux VHS trappings. Inside is a folded mini poster of said art in the insert field and the disc is labeled pressed with the textured grooves of a VHS cassette.  The region free release comes not rated and has a runtime of 96 minutes.

Last Rites: Jeff Werner’s first feature is full of spirit and shapely misguided youth and frustrated former football players in this light sex comedy concealing darker, predatory behavior beneath the surface. “Cheerleaders’ Wild Weekend” will cause snickering and titillating excitement while also tense your gut in what’s an amalgamation of a jest and jostling, bare-chested, good-old-fashion American heist film.

“Cheerleader’s Wild Weekend” Now Back Available on Blu-ray!

An Invisible, EVILociraptor is No Walk in Jurassic Park! “The Invisible Raptor” reviewed! (Well Go USA Entertainment / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Insivible Raptor” Tearing Onto Bluray! Buy it Here!

 once promising paleontologist is reduced to being a dinosaur theme park sideshow act after being swindled and sued for a discovery of a lifetime aboard.  When a deadly and intelligent lab created raptor escapes from its maximum-security confines, the paleontologist, an attractive ex-girlfriend returning into his life, and an eager townie security guard with no friends must put a stop to the first living, breathing carnivorous dinosaur in 65 million years, but tracking down an invisible creature with razor sharp talons and teeth is no easy task, and they must follow the carnage and bloodshed of its wake in order to stop it.  With little resources, relying mostly on the paleontologist’s expertise and the chummy security guard’s willingness to take life-or-death risks for his new friends, the trio rope in a local, rough-around-the-edges chicken farmer to persuade the foul ancestor into a madcap trap before the whole town becomes raptor food. 

Audiences shouldn’t care about another “Jurassic Park” sequel.  Instead, any cretaceous period anticipation should all be channeled and focused toward Mikey Hermosa’s “The Invisible Raptor.”  The 2023 comedy-horror is not land of the lost as it lands right in our homes on a new physical media release.  Written between first feature film writers Mike Capes and Johnny Wickham, the “Dutch Hollow” director Hermosa is not one bit phased by the prospect that his main villain is every bit nasty and furious as antagonists come but is entirely out of sight!   With the challenge accepted, Hermosa aims to pull of the next big comedy-horror dinosaur film since “Tammy and the T-Rex” while ribbing in fun it’s bigger, more successful, campy-somber, franchised brethren mercilessly.  Hermosa coproduces the Showbiz Baby and Valecroft production with writers Capes and Wickham as well as William Ramsey and Nic Neary with Well Go USA owning the theatrical and at-home presentation rights. 

Capes writes for himself as the hard-up paleontologist Dr. Grant Walker, a play on Sam Neill’s Dr. Allen Grant, who has succumb to being of caricature of his profession and while the Dr. Walker is downcast despite his credentials, educations, and reputation, opposite him is the town goof Deniel “Denny” Denielson (David Shackelford, “Beneath”), a friendless, family-less, theme park security guard who’s repute amongst his peer is lower than fossilized dinosaur crap, but his attitude remains cheerful and positive.  The two characters complement each other with budding growth in their arcs of Dr. Walker not pushing people away like he did with ex-girlfriend Amber (Caitlin McHugh) and Denny, with every ounce of his hillbilly being, trying to a fault to make a friend.  There’s a slew of eccentric side characters but one not more as colorful as chicken farmer Henrietta McClusky.  Played by the early 70-year-old Sandy Martin, the “Scalpel” role debuting actress who had a profound supporting character career having had a role in “Napolean Dynamite” and “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” in recent years continues her dry humor, dark comedy run with the Henrietta role a crude, rude, and with ton of attitude poultry farmer with a no nonsense way about her and while Henrietta is a deeply sexual creature in her own right, the amorous tension lies in between Walker and Amber that have instantly become two magnets in rekindling their lost flame.  The ease of which the two characters are written to be instantly smitten is greatly construction to be an almost an unattainable relationship by introducing a child with no relationship to either one of them, a decade long gap without a ton of hurt feelings for the other’s sudden decision of career over love, and, the obvious, a large, man-eating, invisible predator repelling the two magnets apart.  Sprinkled with familiar faces, “The Invisible Raptor” rounds out with notable cult film actors, such as Richard Riehle (“Office Space,” “Hatchet”), Larry Hankin (“Armed and Dangerous,” “Home Alone”), and Sean Astin (“Encino Man,” “Lord of the Rings”) as well as a cameo appearance from Vanessa Chester who played Dr. Ian Malcolm’s daughter in “The Lost World” in another potshot at the “Jurassic Park” series.

Between the hilariously staged “Jurassic Park” callback moments and an unnerving number of gags around the butt region (raptor feces, fossilized raptor buttholes, butt jokes in general), “The Invisible Raptor” has a lot of humor that’s either smart or misses the mark, but not by much in the cogently confined venture packed full of heart, heroism, and havoc on a prehistoric, science-fiction level.  “The Invisible Raptor” may be a modern-day gory comedy-horror but that gory-horror element combined with a bit of underground covert weaponization of dinosaur has a real throwback sense to the early 90’s to early 2000’s dino-horror, such as the “Carnosaur” films, “Tammy and the T-Rex,” and, of course, “Jurassic Park.”  Dino-horror is a niche subgenre that’s rare explored unless it’s totally satirical (“The Velocipastor,” “The Jurassic Dead”) or rooted more in a lost world aspect, sporadically released throughout the decades with “Raptor Island” or the more perilous journey of “Land of the Lost,” original series and it’s more comedic feature remake.  Hermosa quickly moves out from the testing bunker lab that has been the Raptor’s home and where the scientist treat it like an adored, harmless child, a theme of attachment to harmful things we shouldn’t be attached to and gets right into the mayhem by letting it loose in only a way one could perceive a raptor would – in indiscriminating bloodshed.   Hermosa also doesn’t flinch with an invisible titular foe, one the actors have to mentally conjure up to play against in a combative or cat-and-mouse scene, with neatly composited special and visual effects of floating objects, quickly consumed severed heads, and silhouette work through blood spray, heat vision, and a shower curtain by the talented Steve Johnson (“Lord of Illusions,” “Species II”) and Dorian Cleavenger, both of who bring years of experience and both of whom have worked together for the effects of Robert Englund’s “Fear Clinic.” 

Audiences won’t see this one coming!  “The Invisible Raptor” debuts onto an AVC encoded, high-def 1080p, Blu-ray courtesy of Well Go USA Entertainment.  The single-layer BD initiates some cause for concern on the image presentation prior to viewing but the picture produced is solid and stable with no banding in the darker voids, especially in those areas since there is no Raptor to be seen mostly during the night exteriors, poorly lit underground laboratory, or in the lowly key-lit interiors, there’s more shaded and hallow space exposed in the 1.78:1 widescreen aspect ratio.  Textured details are generally adequate with a softer, smoother touch from capacity compression, coupled with a hazy warm yellow-green lighting scheme.  The more standard, non-stylistic shots have better definition to where the details on Dr. Walker’s paleontologist outfit stand out amongst the eye glazing brown-and-tan colors and in the gooey grooves of the Velociraptor fecal matter complete with yellow kernels of corn.  Visual effects are handled with not too revealed explicitly to limit noticeable computer imagery and keep all that is practical the focus.  Audio options come in two English formats – a DTS-HD 5.1 and Stereo 2.0.  The range on this mix is explosive as it is subtle right down the clicks and grunts of the assumed noises one would be led to believe a prehistorical, carnivorous raptor would make.  Dialogue renders clearly and definitively prominent amongst ensuring bedlam cacophony whenever there’s a dino-crises in a more than one people grouping; the audio compilation has been carefully layered to denote exactly what’s intended to be discerned at that moment. English and French subtitles are available. There are no encoded special features on fluid menu of this feature only release but there is a quick bonus scene at the end credits. The physical copy has only a little bit more in the way of extra content with a cardboard, tactile-titled O-slipcover sporting the current state of arranged character pyramid composite. The snap lock Blu-ray Amaray is standard with the same cover art and no tangible extras inside. Rated R for bloody violence and gore, crude sexual material, drug use, and brief graphic nudity, Well Go USA’s release is region A encoded for playback and has a runtime of nearly 2 hours at 114 minutes.

Last Rites: Though the raptor may be invisible, this release should be seen by all! “The Invisible Raptor” is a hilarious “Jurassic Park” parody with plenty of bite, plenty of fun, and plenty of non-visible computer-generated dinosaurs, especially for those who are feeling the dinosaur fatigue.

“Insivible Raptor” Tearing Onto Bluray! Buy it Here!

Snuff is the New EVIL Industry Fad! “Snuff Queen” reviewed! (Dark Arts Entertainment / DVD)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Snuff Queen” on DVD from Dark Arts Entertainment!

Snuff, a hot commodity amongst patrons of the black market and dark web provides real violence and real death for real morbid viewers.  Laws are challenged and circumvented by consent of women willing to die for money through various ways of asphyxiation in front of the camera and sold under the controversial snuffing genre.  A Ten-minute window of revival separates the actors and actresses from permanent brain damage or certain expiration.  A snuff performer interfaces with the complexity of thrills and easy money that counterbalances against relationship troubles, social stigma, and the constant threat of actually dying hanging over their heads, or more literally, pressed against their throats.  A handful of willing performances lets a documentarian illustrate their niche profession, lifestyle, and personal struggles to the world with included behind-the-scenes footage on set and in their private spaces as they put on their line mind, body, and soul have to survive.

Those who seek out snuff, even if represented in a sensationalized, fictious way to glorify gore, violence, violence against women, and a fascination, obsession need to satisfy murder lust, likely need to have their heads thoroughly scoured for the tiniest ounce of sociopathic tendencies.  Films like “Effects,” “Faces of Death,” “8MM,” “A Serbian Film,” and the like all contribute to that black desire of control of another person’s existence and getting off perversely on the sadism.  Films like Sean Russell’s “Snuff Queen” are nothing like those more aberrant productions of cruel reproductions.  The 2023 pseudo-documentary and mockumentary hybrid began in 2008 with AVN interviews with porn stars and their take the matter of snuff or overall rough sex.  Shelved for many years because no producer at the time deemed the material worth making a movie out of it, Russell is approached by Dark Arts Entertainment’s Brian Yuzna and John Penney to finish the film with new scenes based off the 2008 script but cut most of the comedy out for a darker tone.  David Navarro producers the film.

Previously shot 2008 AVN interview footage with some of the then biggest talent in the industry, such as Sasha Grey, Bree Olson, Stormy Daniels, Jenna Haze, Stoya, Faye Reagan, Jesse Jane, Belladonna, Aurora Snow, Jessica Drake, Sunny Lane, and even Larry Flynt, is cut into snippets of a montage as they comment on death and sex in various contexts.  The series of comments and quips puts into perspective individual limitations, mindsets, behaviors, and an unfiltered truth underneath the layers of makeup, fake breasts, and forged happiness in the adult entertainment industry masked in glitzy red lights, supersized sex drives, and a prospecting tease of getting laid.  As the 2008 prologue interviews ends, the 2023 interviews begin with mostly scripted talk following the daily lives of a handful of snuff performing women, 4 principal female characters to be exact.  Moxie Owens (“Girl Lost:  A Hollywood Story”) as Jane Doe, Lexie Leone (“It Don’t Bother Me at All”) as Amy Doe, Juliet Kennedy as Angela, and Lindsay Normington (“Anora”) as Audrey Doe become the diverse batch of short-listed actresses of controversial and law-bending snuff films. These core cast of women are joined by gap-filling support, ranging from gays, to blacks, to Asians, and so forth by extenuating out from just a white female dominated industry in touching cultural and race by the less promoted numbers of adult entertainment. Much of “Snuff Queen’s” inauthenticity garb comes from the acting that’s densely overplayed and exaggerated because of the less-comedic directive by shot-calling distributors and performances stand out amongst a darker theme as too watery and less potent, like off-brand prescription drugs. Ironically enough, IMDB.com gives in the title’s controversial nature by not listing the film under any of the actor’s individual credits as to say or allure “Snuff Queen” documentary as real evidence and content based. Tuesday Knight (“A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Master”), Josie Hung (“Staycation”), Gina DeFlilippo, Captain Dare, Zac Mendoza, Neill Flemming (“It Kills at Midnight”), Christopher Parker (“Spider”) and Jake Holley costar.

Much of what is laid out in “Snuff Queen,” all the provocative and debatable ethics, legality, and portentous aspects of Snuff, is all a load of crap and the director, Sean Russell, would be the first person to tell you that.  What Russell intends to convey is an allegorical emotional evaporation in adult entertainment performers and how apathetic the industry is toward the safety and responsibility for its talent who battle with low self-esteem and anger issues that either drive wedges between friend and family or ensue verbal spouts.  There’s also the treatment or being seen as just a bag of meat for the slaughter when getting the shot is important than the person taking all the risk for little reward.  Russell achieves that endgame message despite the cuts of levity humor that do squeeze through every so often but with that squeeze-in of a dark humor chuckle, coincided with a reserved approach to a documentary surrounding Snuff of all things extreme, in lies an off-putting characteristic going against the grain of the film’s black toned nature and Russell’s indelicate undercurrent theme.  “Snuff Queen” is nowhere near the shock level its required to have, especially being bestowed a taboo title, with little-no-effort in the thickness of the story’s creative girth; instead, the 2008 interviews, snipped scenes from previous controversial films, and one atypical scene at the heart of the story teases with stark nudity and blood are the only edgier content of a rather dull feature length pseudo-documentary. 

Presented in a widescreen 1.78:1 aspect ratio, Dark Arts Entertainment distributes the home release of “Snuff Queen” on DVD.  The MPEG2, 720p and 1080p, DVD9 has stark grade resolutions due to the 2008 recorded interviews and footage shoot 15-years later in 2023 with the former a blockier, less-pixelated digital camcorder for ease of AVN, working the crowd, person-to-person use.  Recent footage has the polished look of a high-dollar digital recording sans any artistic grading or stylistic lens.  No issues with compression codec that produces a very fine, detailed image reproduction that sinks into inky blacks and retains a natural color palette.  “Snuff Queen” is authored with a LPCM English stereo mix that’s an imitation of a hot mic of continuous dialogue, as many real, pseudo, and mock documentaries are, that renders cleanly through from one bookend to the other.  There’s also not a ton of interference other than in the 2008 interviews at the AVN with perhaps more commercial equipment or audio setup.  The onboard mic snags the milieu sounds with the raw range and depth.  English subtitles are available.  Encoded special features include a director’s commentary that goes through the first planned steps for the film and its subsequent rejections from producers back in 2008, deleted scenes, and the film’s trailer.  Physical features are stark and spartan with a convention DVD Amaray that has a mock polaroid border and the redacted eyes and mouth of a faceless, chest high naked woman that draws attention in conjunction with the title.  Dark Arts Entertainment presents the release not rated, region free, and has a runtime of 92 minutes. 

Last Rites: “Snuff Queen” might have worked 15-years ago with the old footage that contained real pornstars and real enough gore effects that could have turned this concept onto a creative machination in illusion of the truth or a clever black comedy that really pokes the porn industry in the ribs, but instead time and too many hands the creative pot has relinquished any power “Snuff Queen” may have wielded, dethroning it definitly out of shock contention.

“Snuff Queen” on DVD from Dark Arts Entertainment!

Your Hopes and Dreams Come Down to Beating an EVIL Fitness Center in a Workout Marathon! “Heavenly Bodies” reviewed! (Fun City Video / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Move Your Butt to this Fun City Edition of “Heavenly Bodies” on Blu-ray!

Working 9-to-5 has a secretary, Samantha quits her grinding job to pursuit her passion of owning her own dancercise studio.  Leasing a vacant building with her girlfriends, they form Heavenly Bodies to let the craze of group dancing and aerobics take hold of all those interested.  The success of her rapidly flourishing business persuades her to audition to host a regional workout show while at the same time juggling being a single mother and decrypting feelings for a new man in her life.  After winning the audition, Samantha is targeted by fellow finalist and rival aerobicize instructor from a bigger fitness center having felt deserving to be the television host.  With her relationship heading for the rocks and her fitness studio building being bought outright by the larger investor, Samantha insists on an all or nothing dancercise contest against the rival studio heads, challenging her best versus their best in an hours long workout made for the TV world to see.

Dancercise.  A craze I know all too well watching my mother high-knee kick, arm-twirl, and run-in-place to the programs hosted by Jane Fonda and Denise Austin right in the middle of our living room.  “Flashdance,” “Footloose,” and “Dirty Dancing” are just some examples of the dance centric subgenre that swept through the 1980s.  In the middle of that mix is 1984’s “Heavenly Bodies.”  Written-and-directed by Lawrence Dane, an actor, who had more of a horror lining with roles in “Scanners,” “Happy Birthday to Me,” and “Seed of Chucky, who tried his hand being behind the camera, co-wrote also his first script alongside Ron Base.  The Canadian feature was co-produced by Stephen J. Roth and Robert Lantos, both of whom shared a string of erotic dramas early in his career with “Paradise” starring Phoebe Cates and the sex-comedy “Scandale” but the two parted and became more mainstream on their paths with Roth financing “Scrooged” with Bill Murray and “Last Action Hero” with Arnold Schwarzenegger” while Lantos partnered off-and-on with fellow Canadian and body-horror director David Cronenberg on “eXistenZ,” “Eastern Promises,” and “Crimes of the Future.”  “Heavenly Bodies” is a production of Producers Sales Organization, Moviecorp VIII, and is one of the few less erotic features from Playboy Enterprises.  

Leading the casting headline like her character Samantha leading a group in a dancercise routine is Cynthia Dale.  The “My Bloody Valentine” actress with curly shoulder length brown hair, an infectiously joyful smile, and killer dance body is the heart and soul of what makes “Heavenly Bodies” truly worth watching.  Her long take choreographed dances are breathtakingly fun and gracefully executed, full of energy and sizzle with the camerawork angles that move along every part of her kinetic body.  Samantha embodies the strong, independent single mother who do it on her own terms after setting passion aside once for a man, her son’s father, and is determined to not make the same mistake twice nor back down from being intimidated, but her arc is to change, to fall in love again, and to make sacrifices for not only the sake of her dream but to let someone else into her heart by being flexible and compassionate to their needs.  That person ends up being Richard Rebiere (“Happy Birth to Me”) as the football player who falls for Samantha after his team’s instructed to attend her classes to shape up.  The duo is pitted up against an established, powerhouse fitness center managed by Jack Pearson (Walter George Alton, “10”) and his head aerobics instructor Debbie (Laura Henry) to marathon their way to the last person standing in a 8-versus-8 fitness free-for-all, not to forget some scandalous moments of smooching, swindling, and woman abusing in between.  Pam Henry, Cec Linder, and Patricia Idlette, round out the principal cast with a slew of backup dancers working their butts in shape and officiating contests. 

You think Playboy Enterprises, you think erotic, romantic sleaze with dumbed down dialogue, a half-cooked story, and jazzy, yet soulless soundtrack coupled with candle lit moments and insignificant drama a la carte.  That’s not the case here.  Yes, “Heavenly Bodies” has moments of tenderness between dancer Samantha and football star Steve and fleeting glimpses of nudity, but those bare skin moments are more of a garnish than a main course as the story dishes being a dramedy with a killer soundtrack and a solid acting from main street, legitimate actors, and liberal art performers.  Articles on the film accuse it of being a “Flashdance” imitator and I would be so bold to accuse the authors of those articles to have never seen “Flashdance.”  Dancing along to a hot track does not equivalate two features that share no other plot similarities.  “Heavenly Bodies” stands, or rather dances, on its own two peppy feet in its whimsical nature of an aerobics showdown that determines the fate of a single woman, single mother, and single business owner to topple the threatened-felt commercial giant in a desperation attempt to save face and be relevant. 

Fun City Video steps up to release a new, debut high-definition transfer of “Heavenly Bodies” on an AVC encoded, 1080p, BD50.  The film has been out-of-print for over three decades but now there’s a 4K scan and restoration of the original 35mm internegative presented in the widescreen 1.85:1 aspect ratio.  The new transfer is absolutely gorgeous and rejuvenates the dance-craze 80s right before our very eyes.  Hyper facticity of detail has remarkable texture and color, diffused nicely over all aspects of costume from the leg warming socks to the diversity hued headband assortments, and punctuated distinguishably when sweat soaks shirts and skin.  The grain has natural analog appeal with no hints of DNR or other types of video smooth over or manipulation.  Original elements appear mostly damage free with an occasional dust speckle here and there.  The sole English LPCM stereo 2.0 is suitable mix for this originally at home, premium cable title that pumps and spreads layers through a dual channel output.  Dialogue renders cleanly without a confluence of popping or hissing along the audio.  The integrated soundtrack has stepping and staying power, full-bodied to frenzy synthesizing sound and catchy ballads and motivation lyrics.  Faint crackling or interference in the background but nothing worth really concerning over as there are plenty of other elements audio senses with attune to.  English subtitles are optionally available.  Special features under a fluid menu of one of more ramping up dance scenes includes a new Cynthia Dale interview, a new feature-length audio commentary track with Atlanta based film programmer of cult and late-night cinema and podcaster Millie de Chirico and Jeffrey Mixed, aka Jeffrey Nelson, co-creator of the horror media label Scream Factory, and an image gallery.  The clear Amaray case showcases a retro vibe of multiple boxy colored lines underneath a framed, perspiring Cynthia Dale in low side crouch of her promotional shot for the film’s one sheet.  The reversible side has more artistic illustration of the same post with a tagline and Samatha striking anther aerobic pose in opposite.  The white disc is pressed with a two-tone, darker emphasized silhouette of a dancercise group.  A 15-page one-part faux channel guide, one-part essay by Cinema Studies academic Nathan Holmes is a nice touch of 80s nostalgia and historical context on dance movies of the era.  The region free release is rated R and has a 90-minute runtime.

Last Rites: By no means is “Heavenly Bodies” horror or sleazy sexploitation this reviewer usually injects right into his caustic-cinema arteries, but the Lawrence Dance directed, Cynthia Dale danced cult film embodies eighties elegance this guy grew up in. Those with similar nostalgia enthusiasms or those who find room in their hearts for ridiculous-raving, dancercising dramedies can’t miss out on this intense workout wonderment.

Move Your Butt to this Fun City Edition of “Heavenly Bodies” on Blu-ray!

The Holidays Are Over, but the EVIL Remains With Us in this Cookie-Cutter Classic “The Gingerdead Man” reviewed! (Full Moon Features / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Get Ready to Chomp on this Cookie! “The Gingerdead Man” Blu-ray Available Here!

Cold-hearted, mama’s boy killer, Millard Findlemeyer, brutally gun downs Sarah Leigh’s father and brother before wounding during a diner robbery.  Two years later, Findlemeyer is executed with the help of Sarah’s damning testimony and the traumatized survivor attempts to pick up the pieces of her life by keeping her crumbling family bakery business afloat.  With her mother a raging alcoholic and a competing business threatening to shut the business down, Sarah doesn’t realize the gingerbread seasoning dropped off at her doorstep is actually the ashes of the evil Findlemeyer.  Thrown in a gingerbread mix and baked to live again, Findlemeyer returns to continue his carnage but as a delectably devilish cookie sporting candied buttons and wielding a knife.  Trapped inside the bakery, a handful of survivors are being more-than-gingerly picked off one-by-one by Findlemeyer’s possession of a pint-sized cookie and Sarah must face again the evil that destroyed her family.  

“The Gingerdead Man” is one of Full Moon’s more contemporary repeat villains this side of the century.  Christmas may be over, but the holiday cookie carnage doesn’t just pack on the pounds, it also can shred and cut the waist, literally, with guts spilling out everywhere.  The Charles Brand directed, 2005 film that kicked off the icing for not one, not two, but three sequels and a timeline intertwinement with Full Moon’s “Evil Bong” series.  Pot and cookies, a perfect combination when blazed.  The script was penned by Full Moon regular and “Night of the Living Dead” remake actor William Butler, under the pseudonym of Silvia St. Croix, and fellow Full Moon regular Dominic Muir (“Critters,” “Doll Graveyard”), under the pseudonym of August White.  Filmed in Los Angeles, the indie horror-comedy is a Shoot Productions and Full Moon coproduction venture with Band producing and Dana Harrloe serving as executive producer. 

Adding to “The Gingerdead Man’s already zany resurrecting the evil dead into a baked good concept (there’s nothing good about this cookie monster), the untamed energy and distinguished voiceover from Gary Busey is better than self-rising flour for this doughy production.  The “Predator 2” and “Lethal Weapon” actor headlines as the despicable killer Millard Findelmeyer but only in the flesh for the opening diner sequence that establishes Findelmeyer as a coldblooded murderer.  The backstory of his apprehension, trial, and execution is whisked into a frothy afterthought after the title credits to establish more of Robin Sydney’s Sarah Leigh character of rebuilding her life.  Sydney, who would become Charles Band’s wife nearly two decades later after debuting in this role, reserves Sarah into a stasis of plugging along into a woe-as-me state as a setup for her to be heroine nemesis to Findlemeyer’s flaky, killer crust.  What’s neat about her character, along with a handful of other principal characters, is they’re subtly and smartly named after notable cookie making companies.  Sarah Leigh is an obvious rework of the frozen desserts company Sara Lee, Ryan Locke, an unlikely Sarah Leigh love interest cladded and carried by all things from early 2000s, is Amos Cadbury, a mixed play on Famous Amos and Cadbury confectionary, and Jonathan Chase as commercial wrestling enthusiast Brick Fields lends to believe the character’s name pulls inspiration from Mrs. Fields soft baked cookies.  There’s also the corporate-commercial takeover statement with an adjacent restaurant that threatens to put Sarah’s bakery out of business and the owner’s name is Jimmy Dean, as in the sausage company, with Larry Cedar (“The Hidden,” “C.H.U.D. II”) in the role.  Alexia Aleman, Margaret Blye, Daniela Melgoza, and James Synder fill out the cast.

Kitschy personification horror is all the rage in the independent genre circle.  Murderous dolls at are dime a dozen, but a few outliers stray into something more risking and adventures, like an evil llama pinata in “Killer Pinata,” a wicked snowman in “Jack Frost,” or even a killer unicorn standing figure in “CarousHELL” that make the niche subgenre fascinatingly tacky for all the right reasons.  Charles Band and team tap into that peculiar ripe vein to extract their own usually joyous, kid-friendly object and transfigure its G-rated image to a hard R with death, sass, and a whole bunch of mischief and what better wholesome inanimate object to vilify than a scrumptious gingerbread man?  Voiced by Busey and animated by the always preferred practical means, “The Gingderdead Man” evokes promises of a so-bad-its-good composite, especially since the antagonist for this franchise starter fits right into the Full Moon small things come in killer packages niche, and while half of “The Gingerdead Man” delivers on a havoc-wreaking spiced cookie, the execution, as a whole, leaves much to be desired by whirling through a two year story gap of the capture and execution of Findlemeyer and how and why his malevolent essence is mixed into the batter for resurrection.  The slapdashedly before and after title credits causes a brief loss of thought as the brain frantically tries to catch up and fill in the gaps as much of the images and exposition haphazardly piece together.  The Gingerdead Man isn’t also quite as quippy as his human form counterpart, but a ton of appreciation goes into the multiple renditions of the distorted faced Gingerdead Man character from hand puppets, to animatronics, to full size human suit provides that breadth of range in angles, perspectives, and appearances that shape a personality package to where dialogue can nearly be neutralized altogether.  “The Gingerbread Man” lives and breathes as its marketed image, a mediocre kill possession-slasher with a bunch of characters scratching their heads instead of building upon who they are and what hurdles, figuratively and literally, to jump, the latter mostly falls into the hands of Sarah Leigh and her depression-induced fear, an aspect she has to face when being revisited by the man who killed her father and brother. 

An all-new transfer and remastered from the original 35mm elements, Full Moon Features re-bakes “The Gingerdead Man” onto a new physical media cookie sheet.  The AVC encoded, 1080p resolution, BD25, presented in a widescreen 1.78:1 aspect ratio, had elevated some lower resolution complications with better definition appeal but the overall package isn’t an epitome showcase of the format possibilities with softer contrasts that leaves voids and shadows milkier, textures fluctuate during decode that sways in a range between 15 to 25 Mbps, and minor damaged portions, such as light scratches and speckling, are not touched up in the restoration.  Skin tones and other colorist applications appear organic and, when reaching peak performance, displays a nicely diffused sweat sheen in the lighting.  Two English, lossy audio options are available, a Dolby Digital 5.1 and a Stereo 2.0.  A clean and clear presentation on all layers with an amalgamated cast that just as good as any other solid sound design with powerful forefront and intelligible dialogue, an above par ambient dispersal that has suitable depth and range, and a Roger Ballenger carnivalesque score that isn’t from Richard Band but is a great mimic.  English subtitles are available.  Extras include an archival behind-the-scenes featurette with interviews with cast, crew, and Charles Band with some BTS-footage in creating the cookie monster, a blooper reel, the original trailer, and trailers for other Full Moon features.  Front cover on the Amaray Blu-ray is an illustrated composition of characters that clue in a sense of what to expect but other than that, this standard re-release has physical bare bones.  The region free release has a runtime of 71 minute and is not rated.

Last Rites: Though doesn’t reinvent the recipe nor does it not make this naughty killer cookie stale, “The Gingerdead Man” has come a long way with a new, revitalizing release onto a high-definition format pulled from the extensive and vast Full Moon catalogue that’s slowly but surely updating the filmic cache. This schlocky bad baked good should surely be in everyone’s holiday horror collection.

Get Ready to Chomp on this Cookie! “The Gingerdead Man” Blu-ray Available Here!