Your Hopes and Dreams Come Down to Beating an EVIL Fitness Center in a Workout Marathon! “Heavenly Bodies” reviewed! (Fun City Video / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Move Your Butt to this Fun City Edition of “Heavenly Bodies” on Blu-ray!

Working 9-to-5 has a secretary, Samantha quits her grinding job to pursuit her passion of owning her own dancercise studio.  Leasing a vacant building with her girlfriends, they form Heavenly Bodies to let the craze of group dancing and aerobics take hold of all those interested.  The success of her rapidly flourishing business persuades her to audition to host a regional workout show while at the same time juggling being a single mother and decrypting feelings for a new man in her life.  After winning the audition, Samantha is targeted by fellow finalist and rival aerobicize instructor from a bigger fitness center having felt deserving to be the television host.  With her relationship heading for the rocks and her fitness studio building being bought outright by the larger investor, Samantha insists on an all or nothing dancercise contest against the rival studio heads, challenging her best versus their best in an hours long workout made for the TV world to see.

Dancercise.  A craze I know all too well watching my mother high-knee kick, arm-twirl, and run-in-place to the programs hosted by Jane Fonda and Denise Austin right in the middle of our living room.  “Flashdance,” “Footloose,” and “Dirty Dancing” are just some examples of the dance centric subgenre that swept through the 1980s.  In the middle of that mix is 1984’s “Heavenly Bodies.”  Written-and-directed by Lawrence Dane, an actor, who had more of a horror lining with roles in “Scanners,” “Happy Birthday to Me,” and “Seed of Chucky, who tried his hand being behind the camera, co-wrote also his first script alongside Ron Base.  The Canadian feature was co-produced by Stephen J. Roth and Robert Lantos, both of whom shared a string of erotic dramas early in his career with “Paradise” starring Phoebe Cates and the sex-comedy “Scandale” but the two parted and became more mainstream on their paths with Roth financing “Scrooged” with Bill Murray and “Last Action Hero” with Arnold Schwarzenegger” while Lantos partnered off-and-on with fellow Canadian and body-horror director David Cronenberg on “eXistenZ,” “Eastern Promises,” and “Crimes of the Future.”  “Heavenly Bodies” is a production of Producers Sales Organization, Moviecorp VIII, and is one of the few less erotic features from Playboy Enterprises.  

Leading the casting headline like her character Samantha leading a group in a dancercise routine is Cynthia Dale.  The “My Bloody Valentine” actress with curly shoulder length brown hair, an infectiously joyful smile, and killer dance body is the heart and soul of what makes “Heavenly Bodies” truly worth watching.  Her long take choreographed dances are breathtakingly fun and gracefully executed, full of energy and sizzle with the camerawork angles that move along every part of her kinetic body.  Samantha embodies the strong, independent single mother who do it on her own terms after setting passion aside once for a man, her son’s father, and is determined to not make the same mistake twice nor back down from being intimidated, but her arc is to change, to fall in love again, and to make sacrifices for not only the sake of her dream but to let someone else into her heart by being flexible and compassionate to their needs.  That person ends up being Richard Rebiere (“Happy Birth to Me”) as the football player who falls for Samantha after his team’s instructed to attend her classes to shape up.  The duo is pitted up against an established, powerhouse fitness center managed by Jack Pearson (Walter George Alton, “10”) and his head aerobics instructor Debbie (Laura Henry) to marathon their way to the last person standing in a 8-versus-8 fitness free-for-all, not to forget some scandalous moments of smooching, swindling, and woman abusing in between.  Pam Henry, Cec Linder, and Patricia Idlette, round out the principal cast with a slew of backup dancers working their butts in shape and officiating contests. 

You think Playboy Enterprises, you think erotic, romantic sleaze with dumbed down dialogue, a half-cooked story, and jazzy, yet soulless soundtrack coupled with candle lit moments and insignificant drama a la carte.  That’s not the case here.  Yes, “Heavenly Bodies” has moments of tenderness between dancer Samantha and football star Steve and fleeting glimpses of nudity, but those bare skin moments are more of a garnish than a main course as the story dishes being a dramedy with a killer soundtrack and a solid acting from main street, legitimate actors, and liberal art performers.  Articles on the film accuse it of being a “Flashdance” imitator and I would be so bold to accuse the authors of those articles to have never seen “Flashdance.”  Dancing along to a hot track does not equivalate two features that share no other plot similarities.  “Heavenly Bodies” stands, or rather dances, on its own two peppy feet in its whimsical nature of an aerobics showdown that determines the fate of a single woman, single mother, and single business owner to topple the threatened-felt commercial giant in a desperation attempt to save face and be relevant. 

Fun City Video steps up to release a new, debut high-definition transfer of “Heavenly Bodies” on an AVC encoded, 1080p, BD50.  The film has been out-of-print for over three decades but now there’s a 4K scan and restoration of the original 35mm internegative presented in the widescreen 1.85:1 aspect ratio.  The new transfer is absolutely gorgeous and rejuvenates the dance-craze 80s right before our very eyes.  Hyper facticity of detail has remarkable texture and color, diffused nicely over all aspects of costume from the leg warming socks to the diversity hued headband assortments, and punctuated distinguishably when sweat soaks shirts and skin.  The grain has natural analog appeal with no hints of DNR or other types of video smooth over or manipulation.  Original elements appear mostly damage free with an occasional dust speckle here and there.  The sole English LPCM stereo 2.0 is suitable mix for this originally at home, premium cable title that pumps and spreads layers through a dual channel output.  Dialogue renders cleanly without a confluence of popping or hissing along the audio.  The integrated soundtrack has stepping and staying power, full-bodied to frenzy synthesizing sound and catchy ballads and motivation lyrics.  Faint crackling or interference in the background but nothing worth really concerning over as there are plenty of other elements audio senses with attune to.  English subtitles are optionally available.  Special features under a fluid menu of one of more ramping up dance scenes includes a new Cynthia Dale interview, a new feature-length audio commentary track with Atlanta based film programmer of cult and late-night cinema and podcaster Millie de Chirico and Jeffrey Mixed, aka Jeffrey Nelson, co-creator of the horror media label Scream Factory, and an image gallery.  The clear Amaray case showcases a retro vibe of multiple boxy colored lines underneath a framed, perspiring Cynthia Dale in low side crouch of her promotional shot for the film’s one sheet.  The reversible side has more artistic illustration of the same post with a tagline and Samatha striking anther aerobic pose in opposite.  The white disc is pressed with a two-tone, darker emphasized silhouette of a dancercise group.  A 15-page one-part faux channel guide, one-part essay by Cinema Studies academic Nathan Holmes is a nice touch of 80s nostalgia and historical context on dance movies of the era.  The region free release is rated R and has a 90-minute runtime.

Last Rites: By no means is “Heavenly Bodies” horror or sleazy sexploitation this reviewer usually injects right into his caustic-cinema arteries, but the Lawrence Dance directed, Cynthia Dale danced cult film embodies eighties elegance this guy grew up in. Those with similar nostalgia enthusiasms or those who find room in their hearts for ridiculous-raving, dancercising dramedies can’t miss out on this intense workout wonderment.

Move Your Butt to this Fun City Edition of “Heavenly Bodies” on Blu-ray!

To Do EVIL or To Do Good? “Men of War” reviewed! (MVD Visual / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Men of War” are Men now in High Def! See It Here!

Living like a pauper on the frozen street of a snow Chicago, ex-special forces soldier Nick Gunar has no desire to return to his former life, but when he’s referred a mercenary job to visit an island off the South China sea, he’s assured by the man that referred him, his fatherlike former colonial, that there will be no bloodshed in his all for show and intimidation situation that needs more finesse than firepower.  His mission is to assemble a team and negotiate with armed persuasion to get the unwilling, combative locals to sign over the rights to a mineral rich underground cave system.   Gunar’s expected confrontation turns out to be a small village of unarmed men, women, and children, peacefully refusing to sign over their land for excavational exploitation of their ancestral home.  While Gunar weighs his morality, a second team lead by Gunar’s more ruthless brother-in-arms, Keefer, sets to make sure the job is completed one way or another. 

Set off the coast of Thailand, “Men of War” is the 1994 U.S. mercenary action film that induces the ethics and morality question of armed-to-the-teeth hired guns against a small village of mostly helpless residents going to sit with an honorable conscious.  Perry Lang, actor in such films as “Teen Lust,” “The Hearse,” and “Alligator” who then turned director in the early 90s, helmed his sophomore picture after directing Catherine O’Hara in “Little Vegas” four years prior.  “Men of War,” which had a working title of “A Safe Place,” is penned by a trifecta of writers in “The Howling’s” John Sayles, “Demon Knight’s” Ethan Reiff, and Reiff’s longtime screenwriting partner Cyrus Voris.  Seasoned writers and an upcoming director garnered studio funds by Moshe Diamant and Stan Rogow to take a chance on the abroad militant-action subgenre that was dwindling at the time of the mid-90s.  Mark Darmon Productions Worldwide, in association with Grandview Avenue Pictures, served as coproduction studios with Arthur Goldblatt, Andrew Pfeffer, and David C. Anderson producing.

The big name that attracted financial support and give the title a boost was Dolph Lundgren who, at that time, was one of the biggest action stars of the late 80s into the 90s with “Rocky IV,” “Masters of the Universe,” “The Punisher,” and “Universal Soldier” all under his 6’ 3” Swedish, muscular frame topped with blonde haired and gentle blue-eyes.  Lundgren tackles his next role as conflicted mercenary looking to get out of the game all together as former special forces soldier Nick Gunar.  Perhaps one of the more complex roles Lundgren has portrayed in his career, Gunar fights the uphill battle of a pressurized existence that always leads him back to what he does best, being a soldier of fortune.  Yet, the well-trained combatant’s heart has softened and changed to not be an elite killer anymore and his new mission, assigned to him by venture capitalist Lyle (Perry Lang) and Warren (Thomas Gibson, “Eyes Wide Shut”) and referred by Colonial Merrick (a true typecasted bad guy in Kevin Tighe of “K-9”), will put his trained tactics and newfound compassion to the test.  However, for obvious cinematic reasons, things will not go as smooth as Gunar obliviously hopes with nudges from a diversely skilled team of assembled gung-ho comrades, deceived by those he’s trusted, and antagonized vehemently by an unstable, former fellow special forces brother-in-arms Keefer, played by one of my favorite Aussie actors, the late Trevor Goddard (“Mortal Kombat,” “Deep Rising”).  Lundgren usually brings with his large and imposing self to the table with every role he slips into, but Gunar feels different partly because of two very different reasons:  Gunar lacks defining confidence and maintains the fierce façade to keep the assignment afloat under the aforesaid pressures, but Lundgren doesn’t look physically all there as he appears hunched over for a better part of downtime scenes.  “Jurassic Park’s” B.D. Wong plays the village wisecracking’ spokesperson Po who welcome Gunar and his team’s arrival with respect and with a little humor.  Wong’s cavalier style for Po works to cut tension and to showcase the natives as peaceful and unassuming but steadfast in their beliefs.  “Embrace of the Vampire’s” Charlotte Lewis, as Loki the the native island single mother and love interest to Lundgren, is the second credit name of the film yet has perhaps the shortest screen time of all the characters that fill out “Men of War” with Tony Denison (“Wild Things 2”), Tommy “Tiny” Lister Jr. (“The Fifth Element”), Thomas Wright (“Tales from the Hood”), Tim Guinee (“Vampires”), Don Harvey (“The Relic”), and Catherine Bell.

Cast ensemble of familiar faces makes “Men of War” easier to digest when considering the threadbare sensical plot.  If taking the trouble to hire mercenaries to negotiate the signature surrender of property, the company investors might as well have used extreme force instead of finesse as the good Colonial Merrick suggests to Gunar.  “Men of War’s” setup is not very sexy to establish a radical rational to plot against the native denizens, fast-forwarding and skirting through the first act’s purposed goal and recruitment of characters is sullied by that dilution of plot device.  The recruiting montage is what hurts the most that shows Gunar travelling across the globe to handpick past acquaintances for his team, but the history markers are not in place to establish characters behaviors, past or present undercurrents, or anything that really ties them together or tears them apart which eventually happens when a line in the sand is drawn.  Even Keefer’s neglected volatile bad juvenile behavior is crucified by zero backstory substance.  “Men of War” bravely relies on the future to flourish and does so quite well by creating a dichotomy between a paid duty and a moral deed, especially when falling in love with a native girl is involved.  Explosions, bullets, and various kinds of melee skirmishes rock the story’s intended searching for inner peace theme and there’s no shortage or pulled punches with the pyrotechnics or squib-popping gunplay.  Perry Lang and producers make no qualms about the product their peddling by offering a detonating spectacle on a wafer-thin plot to razzle-dazzle on the silver screen and that’s okay. 

Coming in as title number 62 on the MVD Rewind Collection, a boutique banner for MVD Visual, is “Men on War” on a new Blu-ray release that’s an AVC encoded BD50, presented in a widescreen 2.35:1 aspect ratio and high-definition 1080p. This one looks pretty darn good for a 2K scan of a well-kept 35mm film. Picture retention shows just how clean as a whistle it is with no sign of a damaged original print. There also appears to be no issues with compression, such as banding or macroblocking, to gunk of visuals in what is a clean sweep of texturized objects from skin to fabric, even the island jungle setting has a rich green and a variety of sedimentary rock and soil to a real organic coloring that creates the tropical paradise around as seen on vacation brochures. When cinematographer Rohn Schmidt (“The Mist”) does go for more aesthetic, “Men of War” turns into panoramic escapism brilliant with warm colors and a composition too impressive for the likes of a picture teetering between being a B- and A-lister. The English language dialogue comes with two lossless audio options: A DTS-HD 5.1 surround sound and a LPCM 2.0. An explosive film requires free range fidelity and “Men of War” and its sound design package prowls the ambit of discharging and cannonading that hit fast and hard. Dialogue runs through-and-through clean and clear without interrupt or folly against it, as well as being layered properly to have heavy volley suppress the dialogue to a muffled scream. The score of Gerald Gouriet (“Grand Tour: Disaster in Time”) has a pretense of a militaristic stanza that wonders into an idealistic romance choon which downgrades to a pedestrian level at times but there’s also a hint, or even possibly sampling, of Alan Silvestri lurking in the mix from the score of “Predator” when Lundgren stealthily storm the beach with his team. A Spanish 2.0 stereo is available and English and Spanish subtitles are available for toggle. For the MVD release, Perry Lang provides a new, from his living room introduction. The remainder of the special features are archival pieces, such as An Unsafe Place: Making Men of War, a brief doc with Dolph Lungren enthusiast Jérémie Damoiseau going over the genesis of the film, raw footage and dailies from the feature, a photo gallery, and the theatrical trailer. If looking for tangible collectibles, you’re in luck because, like most of the MVD Rewind Collection catalogue, “Men of War” comes with a cardboard O-slipcover with printed faux VHS rental stickers and a mini folded poster of the slipcover image tucked inside. The clear Amaray Blu-ray mirrors of slipcover and has a reversible composition. Region free with a 103-minute runtime, the MVD release is not rated.

Last Rites: An ensemble of colorful characters spearheaded by the towering Dolph Lundgren and shot in the serenity beaches of Thailand lends “Men of War” to be a luxury good of the cinematic armament rhubarb and the presentational transfer by MVD, on their Rewind Collection, breathes fresh and favorable for a solid screening of campy chaos.

“Men of War” are Men now in High Def! See It Here!

The Blind Leading the EVIL. “Oddity” reviewed! (Acorn Media International / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Oddity’s” Blu-ray from Acorn Media International is Here!

Dani Timmins spends many nights renovating her and her husband’s new country home.  While her psychiatrist husband Ted works long nights most nights at the mental hospital, Dani spends her time in solitude and isolation to fixup their future home.  When a strange man knocks on her door and warns someone is inside her house, Dani must make the difficult decision to either trust the stranger into her home or dismiss his warnings as subterfuge to get inside.  The next day Dani is dead, brutally murdered.  A year later, Ted and his new girlfriend reside in the country home and Darcy, Dani’s twin sister with retrocognition abilities, arrives at the country home with supernatural suspicion toward the couple, bringing with her a trunk containing a family heirloom of a life-size wooden mannikin.  Threatening to expose him, Darcy appetite for blind justice is stronger than Ted’s need to convince her otherwise when the plot against her sister thickens beyond the plane of the corporeal world.  

“Oddity” is the 2024 release supernatural haunt and golem thriller from “Caveat” writer-director Damian Mc Carthy.  The sophomore feature from the Ireland born filmmaker is a mishmash of culture inspired heavily on the Jewish folklore of the inanimate, human formed material being commanded to animate a task, such as being bewitched for wicked transgressions and this commingles with twin superstitious beliefs of extrasensory connection, and, I’m going to stop your train of thought right there, just because this is an Irish production with an Irish actress playing twins doesn’t make this a movie about the derogatory Irish twins concept.  Filmed in the County Cork, Ireland, “Oddity” is produced by “Come to Daddy” producers Evan Horan, Katie Holly, Laura Tunstall, and Mette-Marie Kongsvad with Lisa Kelly as co-producer and Keeper Pictures and Shudder serving as co-productions presenting as a Shudder Exclusive film.

Carolyn Bracken (“You Are Not My Mother”) dons the double role of twin sisters Dani Timmins, murdered housewife to doctor Ted Timmins, and Darcy Odello, a blind psychic who owns an oddity emporium called Odello Oddity, as partly in the title.  When we think of twins in films, we think identical down to the very last mannerism and hair fiber, but for Dani and Darcy, they’re similarities are in blood and face structure alone.  The differences are stark with Dani sporting dark, long hair whereas Darcy’s is nearly white and cut pixie short., Dani’s health is more intact whereas Darcy’s afflicted with blind caused by a brain tumor, and the aforementioned results in Darcy’s gift whereas Dani lacks in that department.  Lastly, Darcy exudes more confidence for a blind woman who’s able to read the room without her known unnatural ability, possessing a separate superhuman knowledge left without the power of sight.  While Bracken only plays Dani for a short period of time a lot can be said between the two women who are portrayed perfectly contrasted; yet a connection between forms an invisible bond through Darcy’s practice of learned witchcraft that involves the wooden manikin.  Opposite Bracken is Gwilym Lee as Ted Timmins, a man unable to escape the haunting of his deceased wife and start again with new girlfriend Yana (Caroline Menton).  Lee’s an absolute pragmatic when it comes to being psychiatrist Ted Timmins in a good display of when a rational doctor plays a rational plan on how to do something irrational and while Timmins and Bracken share not a ton of screentime together within either of Bracken’s dual roles, the thick tension formed between their characters is palpable wrought.  Yet, the real award-winning performance should be handed to Ivan de Wergifosse, the unsung face and movements of the wooden man.  Menacingly still like a large Pinocchio doll ready to come to life at any second, Wergifosse’s golem movements erratically alter the tone of drama-thriller to creature-thriller, coupled with an intense sound design that will resonate in nightmares.  “Oddity’s” principal cast fills out with Steve Wall (“Dune:  Part Two”) as an unscrupulous orderly and Tadgh Murphy (“Boy Eats Girl”), who really does have an artificial eye, as the red flagging mental patient.

A confluence of componential folklores doesn’t stale “Oddity’s” unique brand of Mc Carthy storytelling.  Shrouded deep in shadows, an underlining sense of intense dread, and colorful in diverse characters, the film truly represents the meaning of the title despite its adopted resources and, to be honest, that’s how most stories survive nowadays when the familiar is rebranded with fresh frights dwindling every second.  Sometimes, being too novel can have the reverse consequences of being too odd for most general fans.  “Oddity” provides balance with a slow burn buildup by chopping out exactly what happens to Dani, creating a cliffhanger right at the beginning to get the investigative wheels turning.  Where I do believe Mc Carthy suffers to retain a truth uncovered is in the story’s predictability.  We already know who the bad guy and we’re just waiting to see how he did it.  That takes a good chunk of suspenseful whodunit away from the narrative when it’s practically spelled out for you.  The mysteriousness around witchcraft and the supernatural twin sibling bond, coupled and accentuated with the manmade blunt force apathy, carries the weight, and can overshadow what’s missing and purposefully omitted to keep a sense of the unknown palpable. 

Acorn Media International presents “Oddity” on an AVC encoded, 1080p high resolution, BD50. Mc Carthy and director of photography Colm Hogan’s first collaboration together in a horror feature that results in the graveness of blanketing shadows and an aged, speckled, and muted color scheme solemnity. Graded in undertones of green, blues, and yellows, “Oddity” contrasts nicely and frighteningly against an object, like the brown wood of the mannequin, is in juxtaposition of the norm.  Detailing is superb around said golem with tree notices and grooves despite looking like a man in a suit in certain angles.  There’s also finesse detailing around skin textures, costuming, such as Darcy’s intricate green and white outfit, and other concepts implemented into the story’s narrative, such as Tadhg Murphy’s false eye that’s been accentuated with a bright iris or the leathery strap around another patient’s ravenous mouth.  The British and Brogue English DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 courses through the individually marked rear, side, and front channels for full surround effect of the mannequin’s wailings and joint creeks, relying more on the discordant higher pitches than minor chord LFE to scare wits.  Oppositely, an earnest and tense stillness is achieved when all sound ceases to exist without the faint hint of interference and or other noticeable popping, humming, or generated soft noise.  English subtitles are available under the static menu selection.  Special features include a behind-the-scenes with cast and crew, a storyboard to screen vignette of one’s scene’s storyboard conceptual illustration compared to the final scene’s cut, and the the making of the wooden mannequin told through an image gallery.  The standard release comes in a thicker than normal North American Amaray Blu-ray case with Darcy and the wooded mannequin in spiritual positioning cloaked partly in darkness, similar to the shadow work in the film.  Inside does not contain any inserts or other physical accompaniments but there is a more detailed facial depiction of the mannequin’s face on the disc pressing.  Hardcoded for region B PAL playback, Acorn Media’s Blu-ray clocks in at 98 minutes and is UK certified 15 with no certification qualifications but the story has violence, strong language, and intense situations.

Last Rites: “Oddity” may not feel like nothing new but it’s nothing new done well in its reenvisioning of folklore and the standard horror tropes to give this Damian Mc Carthy’s filmmaking career an open door and a blank check to scare us with something far more novel and next level in the Irishman’s films yet to come.

“Oddity’s” Blu-ray from Acorn Media International is Here!

The Holidays Are Over, but the EVIL Remains With Us in this Cookie-Cutter Classic “The Gingerdead Man” reviewed! (Full Moon Features / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Get Ready to Chomp on this Cookie! “The Gingerdead Man” Blu-ray Available Here!

Cold-hearted, mama’s boy killer, Millard Findlemeyer, brutally gun downs Sarah Leigh’s father and brother before wounding during a diner robbery.  Two years later, Findlemeyer is executed with the help of Sarah’s damning testimony and the traumatized survivor attempts to pick up the pieces of her life by keeping her crumbling family bakery business afloat.  With her mother a raging alcoholic and a competing business threatening to shut the business down, Sarah doesn’t realize the gingerbread seasoning dropped off at her doorstep is actually the ashes of the evil Findlemeyer.  Thrown in a gingerbread mix and baked to live again, Findlemeyer returns to continue his carnage but as a delectably devilish cookie sporting candied buttons and wielding a knife.  Trapped inside the bakery, a handful of survivors are being more-than-gingerly picked off one-by-one by Findlemeyer’s possession of a pint-sized cookie and Sarah must face again the evil that destroyed her family.  

“The Gingerdead Man” is one of Full Moon’s more contemporary repeat villains this side of the century.  Christmas may be over, but the holiday cookie carnage doesn’t just pack on the pounds, it also can shred and cut the waist, literally, with guts spilling out everywhere.  The Charles Brand directed, 2005 film that kicked off the icing for not one, not two, but three sequels and a timeline intertwinement with Full Moon’s “Evil Bong” series.  Pot and cookies, a perfect combination when blazed.  The script was penned by Full Moon regular and “Night of the Living Dead” remake actor William Butler, under the pseudonym of Silvia St. Croix, and fellow Full Moon regular Dominic Muir (“Critters,” “Doll Graveyard”), under the pseudonym of August White.  Filmed in Los Angeles, the indie horror-comedy is a Shoot Productions and Full Moon coproduction venture with Band producing and Dana Harrloe serving as executive producer. 

Adding to “The Gingerdead Man’s already zany resurrecting the evil dead into a baked good concept (there’s nothing good about this cookie monster), the untamed energy and distinguished voiceover from Gary Busey is better than self-rising flour for this doughy production.  The “Predator 2” and “Lethal Weapon” actor headlines as the despicable killer Millard Findelmeyer but only in the flesh for the opening diner sequence that establishes Findelmeyer as a coldblooded murderer.  The backstory of his apprehension, trial, and execution is whisked into a frothy afterthought after the title credits to establish more of Robin Sydney’s Sarah Leigh character of rebuilding her life.  Sydney, who would become Charles Band’s wife nearly two decades later after debuting in this role, reserves Sarah into a stasis of plugging along into a woe-as-me state as a setup for her to be heroine nemesis to Findlemeyer’s flaky, killer crust.  What’s neat about her character, along with a handful of other principal characters, is they’re subtly and smartly named after notable cookie making companies.  Sarah Leigh is an obvious rework of the frozen desserts company Sara Lee, Ryan Locke, an unlikely Sarah Leigh love interest cladded and carried by all things from early 2000s, is Amos Cadbury, a mixed play on Famous Amos and Cadbury confectionary, and Jonathan Chase as commercial wrestling enthusiast Brick Fields lends to believe the character’s name pulls inspiration from Mrs. Fields soft baked cookies.  There’s also the corporate-commercial takeover statement with an adjacent restaurant that threatens to put Sarah’s bakery out of business and the owner’s name is Jimmy Dean, as in the sausage company, with Larry Cedar (“The Hidden,” “C.H.U.D. II”) in the role.  Alexia Aleman, Margaret Blye, Daniela Melgoza, and James Synder fill out the cast.

Kitschy personification horror is all the rage in the independent genre circle.  Murderous dolls at are dime a dozen, but a few outliers stray into something more risking and adventures, like an evil llama pinata in “Killer Pinata,” a wicked snowman in “Jack Frost,” or even a killer unicorn standing figure in “CarousHELL” that make the niche subgenre fascinatingly tacky for all the right reasons.  Charles Band and team tap into that peculiar ripe vein to extract their own usually joyous, kid-friendly object and transfigure its G-rated image to a hard R with death, sass, and a whole bunch of mischief and what better wholesome inanimate object to vilify than a scrumptious gingerbread man?  Voiced by Busey and animated by the always preferred practical means, “The Gingderdead Man” evokes promises of a so-bad-its-good composite, especially since the antagonist for this franchise starter fits right into the Full Moon small things come in killer packages niche, and while half of “The Gingerdead Man” delivers on a havoc-wreaking spiced cookie, the execution, as a whole, leaves much to be desired by whirling through a two year story gap of the capture and execution of Findlemeyer and how and why his malevolent essence is mixed into the batter for resurrection.  The slapdashedly before and after title credits causes a brief loss of thought as the brain frantically tries to catch up and fill in the gaps as much of the images and exposition haphazardly piece together.  The Gingerdead Man isn’t also quite as quippy as his human form counterpart, but a ton of appreciation goes into the multiple renditions of the distorted faced Gingerdead Man character from hand puppets, to animatronics, to full size human suit provides that breadth of range in angles, perspectives, and appearances that shape a personality package to where dialogue can nearly be neutralized altogether.  “The Gingerbread Man” lives and breathes as its marketed image, a mediocre kill possession-slasher with a bunch of characters scratching their heads instead of building upon who they are and what hurdles, figuratively and literally, to jump, the latter mostly falls into the hands of Sarah Leigh and her depression-induced fear, an aspect she has to face when being revisited by the man who killed her father and brother. 

An all-new transfer and remastered from the original 35mm elements, Full Moon Features re-bakes “The Gingerdead Man” onto a new physical media cookie sheet.  The AVC encoded, 1080p resolution, BD25, presented in a widescreen 1.78:1 aspect ratio, had elevated some lower resolution complications with better definition appeal but the overall package isn’t an epitome showcase of the format possibilities with softer contrasts that leaves voids and shadows milkier, textures fluctuate during decode that sways in a range between 15 to 25 Mbps, and minor damaged portions, such as light scratches and speckling, are not touched up in the restoration.  Skin tones and other colorist applications appear organic and, when reaching peak performance, displays a nicely diffused sweat sheen in the lighting.  Two English, lossy audio options are available, a Dolby Digital 5.1 and a Stereo 2.0.  A clean and clear presentation on all layers with an amalgamated cast that just as good as any other solid sound design with powerful forefront and intelligible dialogue, an above par ambient dispersal that has suitable depth and range, and a Roger Ballenger carnivalesque score that isn’t from Richard Band but is a great mimic.  English subtitles are available.  Extras include an archival behind-the-scenes featurette with interviews with cast, crew, and Charles Band with some BTS-footage in creating the cookie monster, a blooper reel, the original trailer, and trailers for other Full Moon features.  Front cover on the Amaray Blu-ray is an illustrated composition of characters that clue in a sense of what to expect but other than that, this standard re-release has physical bare bones.  The region free release has a runtime of 71 minute and is not rated.

Last Rites: Though doesn’t reinvent the recipe nor does it not make this naughty killer cookie stale, “The Gingerdead Man” has come a long way with a new, revitalizing release onto a high-definition format pulled from the extensive and vast Full Moon catalogue that’s slowly but surely updating the filmic cache. This schlocky bad baked good should surely be in everyone’s holiday horror collection.

Get Ready to Chomp on this Cookie! “The Gingerdead Man” Blu-ray Available Here!

All You Need to Protect You From Everything is a Pile of EVIL Socks! “Crust” reviewed! (Anchor Bay / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Sean Whalen’s Debut “Crust” Now on Blu-ray!

Vegas Winters is a famous washed-up child actor now working at a laundry mat. Depressed from having been exploited during his career years, Vegas’s problems continue as an unkempt, middle-aged man still enamored with an ex-girlfriend who can’t stand the sight of his growth impotency and the news of his show’s revival that stirs up the past’s unwelcomed hubbub. Day-in and day-out, Vegas does the laundry mat rounds, collecting lost socks for his own personal use, whether be for blowing his nose, cleaning a blood lip, or masturbating into for his daydreaming fantasies, until one day the poor schlub is beyond humiliated and sheds a tear into his pile of used and unwanted collection of socks that turns the heap into his own personal protector he calls Crust. Murdering all who emotionally hurt or threaten Vegas, Crust becomes his best pal who has to vie with Vegas’s drunkard business partner and friend as well as his newfound girlfriend who’s infatuated with him.

Sean Whalen is one of the more underappreciated side characters in the last 30 years.  You know the face, but you may not know his extensive filmography.  Most of us horror fanatics adore Whalen in what was likely one of East coast born actor’s most notable roles from early in his career as the wall-crawling, good-hearted, inbred child named Roach from Wes Craven’s “The People Under the Stairs.”  From that film in 1991 to today, Whalen has run the genre gamut as a supporting actor in “Tammy and the T-Rex,” “Waterworld,” Rob Zombie’s “Halloween II,” as well as Zombie’s “3 From Hell” and a slew of other films, made-for-TV movies, and popping up in television series, including the U.S. version of CBS’s Ghosts pilot which I’m still sorely peeved he no longer continued the basement-dwelling, leprosy ghost role.  Now, we’re seeing a whole new side to our favorite side actor who steps into the lead principal role and, also, writes-and-directs his first feature length film with the 2024 comedy-horror “Crust.”  The indie film is cowritten with Jim Wald and is a production between Mezek Films, Moonless Media & Entertainment, Wicked Monkey Pictures, Stag Mountain Films, and the LLC, Crustsock Productions, supported by a crowdfunding campaign that generated nearly 100K dollars from over 600 backers.

A personal project for Whalen, “Crust” came to fruition as an allegorical metaphor for his own depression after a divorce and he plays Vegas Winters, a former child actor who left the industry after the success of his show due to those around him mistreating him or forgetting about him once the show success wore off.  Gloomy-faced, disheveled, and suppressively lethargic and explosively frantic when called for, Vegas is the epitome of depression while co-running a bland laundry with an alcoholic Russ, played by another horror-friendly, long-time supporting actor in Daniel Roebuck (“Final Destination,” “Terrifier 3”).  Audiences will feel for Vegas and his ultimate wish to be left alone as he sends his blood, sweat, tears, and amongst other bodily fluids, into the leftover socks of strangers, but audiences will also be delighted in his return to fervor materialized by a spur-of-the-moment, quirky laundry mat dance routine with his newfound cute-and-cuddly, stiff-sock creature, Crust. Like Daniel, Nila is too entangled in Vegas’s sticky-sock situation as his from-afar admirer turned quickly cemented girlfriend, played by Rebekah Kennedy (“Two Witches,” “Traumatika”), and there ensues the conflict when friend and girlfriend don’t know where they place or stand alongside a sock-monster. Roebuck and Kennedy manage to fiddle the strings of being the irresolute and concerned while not being a total antagonist to Vegas, who himself might not be 100% the hero of the story. “Crust” rounds the big hitting cast with “Sleepaway Camp’s” Felissa Rose and “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’s” Alan Ruck along with William Gabriel Grier, Charles Chudabala, Ricky Dean Logan, Shawntay Dalon, and Zoe Unkovich.

Divided into laundry themed chapters, “Crust” is all about the depression and the stagnation that it entails. The creature Crust is that imaginary hope or need fabricated to pull one out of its depths and talons as a protector and a friendly companion to retreat into when the world around is threatening with a difficulty level of hard. Vegas is bombarded with down-in-the-dumps missiles being reminded of an unpleasant past, an ex that continues to belittle him, and an escape from reality that soon becomes an invasion of privacy. Whalen’s decision to shoot in black and white is a conscious one that eliminates colorful distractions to keep story focus around the characters, driving down the narrative nail into Vegas’s episodic progress that deepens to deprecating d, depths, and to keep blemishes with Crust’s marionette-ways to a bare minimum. That’s not to express that Crust is a mealy patchwork of loose socks and back felt for eyes. Crust construction might be simple in design but effective in applied personification with emotional swings, eyebrow moods, and hand gestures despite the obvious movement limitations that require multiple shots and cuts at different angles to sell its tearful autonomy and aggressive nature to protect. Remember, “Crust” is a comedy-horror with emphasis on comedy and while Whalen’s directorial debut comedy is fettered by a lighter shade of black, there’s a waving playfulness about it, such as Whalen and Crust’s spontaneous choreography, that provides a wake from the satirical black humor and completely submerge the story in surrealism with laughs and heart-wrenching moments.

One of the first, and hopefully many to come, titles a part of the initial Anchor Bay Entertainment revival by Umbrelic Entertainment cofounders Thomas Zambeck and Brian Katz, “Crust” hits the Blu-ray market with distribution assistance from MVD Visual.  The AVC encoded, 1080p high-definition, BD25 has the work cut out for it with the black-and-white presentation that allows for a better decoding bitrate, hovering around easily a high-20 Mbps.  Monochromic anamorphic widescreen 1.78:1 aspect ratio exhibits cleanly, clearly, and classically in a consistent contrast that balances situational light and shadow where appropriately.  Textures are dullened without color but the picture is crisp without showing fuzziness or compressed without blocky or bandy issue.  Not listed on the back cover, my player detects an English Dolby Digital Stereo 2.0 track.  More talkative than taking action, “Crust” delivers a fine digitally recorded dialogue track through a lossy Dolby compression that while isn’t as an exact replica, it is clear. Yet, dialogue’s separated from the pack, isolated from the caricature ambience of a laundry mat that has settles on a single wash or dryer sound, the exaggerated sounds of exterior paparazzi, and minor action sounds reach the upper audio layer hemisphere, diffusing into virtually the same foreground plane as dialogue rather medium-to-near range background in what is more of a production stemmed, Foley incorporated audio design.  Blu-ray’s bonus features include a Sean Whalen feature length audio commentary track, a Los Angeles premiere Q&A with Sean Whalen, Rebekah Kennedy, Daniel Roebuck, Felissa Rose, and William Gabriel Grier along with Crust puppeteer, Lisa Hinds, and two short comedies about Dorothy post-Wizard of Oz by many, many tragic years of alcoholism, sex, and delusional state of poor Dorothy, written and played by Whalen in “Dorothy:  50 Years Later” and “Dorothy 2:  The Bump and Run.”  Anchor Bay’s releases standard fair within a traditional Amaray case with the image of Whalen, or rather Vegas, the sock-monster Crust, and a trail of speckled blood in a back-and-white laundry mat with no tangible inserts and the same image pressed on the disc but digitally rearranged.  The region free release has a runtime of 102 minutes and is not rated.

Last Rites: Depression sucks, but “Crust” doesn’t in its sticky sardonic theme told simply in genericisms and broad grayscale strokes. Whelan’s first feature is first rate farce with fantastic puppet work and a Whelan, himself, best at self-deprecating his image for what’s good of the story, which is a morsel of his own.

Sean Whalen’s Debut “Crust” Now on Blu-ray!