Tag Archives: kevin smith

This is Not Taylor Swift’s “EVIL” Hit Song. “Cruel Summer” reviewed! (Scream Team Releasing / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Cruel Summer” on Blu-ray Home Video!

Heather and Felissa have planned the perfect weekend party for summer kickoff.  The custom invitations are set for their friends to cordially request their attendance for an 80’s themed murder mystery at Heather’s aunt and uncle’s cabin home.  Upon their arrival, the stock up on booze and groceries, fake knives and masks are in hand, and the game is about to begin, but little do they know, the surprises and terror in store for them are not manufactured by the rules of a party game.  A masked serial killer is heading straight for their night of fun and games, killing anyone who steps in his path, including other tourists, locals, and even the law enforcement called in to check on the party noise levels.  When friends suddenly disappear throughout the night, that strange feeling of derealization takes over and worry sets in that something other than being passed out from partying too hard has happened to them and that same fate will soon happen to them. 

Let’s face it.  All horror nowadays is rooted by the inspiration from horror long ago.   Originality has all but faded from the conceptual ideas, script pages, and in what the camera records.  Independent horror filmmaking is basically devotion digitized and the easily accessible equipment has turned every kid, who grew up watching Todd Browning, George A. Romero, and Dario Argento, into splintered, hackneyed versions of their favorite directors.  Most indies either follow similar formulaic narratives and styles or cast and cameo acting icons to draw upon homage or headlined sales, but for Scott Tepperman’s 2021 Indiegogo-funded slasher “Cruel Summer” there lies little effort in either department despite the film’s throwback claim.  The “Nightblade” and “Hell’s Bells” director based in Tallahassee, FL is not opaque with the 80’s obsession he integrates into his COVID production under his cofounded Los Bastardz Productions with Jim O’Rear.

If looking up “Cruel Summer” on IMDB.com or any other online movie database that lists the cast and the associated character names, a trend might pop out at you but might not be evident at first.  Since I personally try to avoid looking up or researching films or watch trailers to sideline any kind of preconceived biases, I began to pick up halfway through the runtime the correlation between all the character names in that they’re nods to renowned horror actors and directors.  Some examples include Ashlyn McCain playing principal lead Heather (as in “A Nightmare on Elm Street’s” Heather Langenkamp), Bridget Linda Froemming plays Felissa (as in “Sleepaway Camp’s” Felissa Rose), Harold McLeod II plays Tobin (as in “Saw’s” Tobin Bell), Will Horton plays Vincent (as in “House on Haunted Hill’s” Vincent Price), and Scott Tepperman plays Gunnar (as in “Texas Chainsaw Massacre’s” Gunnar Hansen.  There’s also references to Barbara Crampton (“Re-Animator”), Doug Bradley (“Hellraiser”), Robert Englund (“A Nightmare on Elm Street”), Tony Todd (“Candyman”), Linnea Quigley (“Night of the Demons”), Katheryn Bigelow (director of “Near Dark”), and William Lustig (director of “Maniac”).  While not an entirely novel idea to use genre names as characters, what’s wholly impressive is this scale of use but the characters themselves more-or-less dawdle without progressing the story or adding much substance.  Once the friends arrive at the house, not much else happens between them and no individual or group character arcs take shape and flesh out, leaving just potential fresh kills for a family of whack jobs with a loose tragic and traumatizing backstory with an incongruitous twist in family relations.  “Cruel Summer’s” cast rounds out with Jimmy Maguire (“Hell’s Bells), Paul Van Scott (“Shark Waters”), Jim O’Rear, H. (Hannah) Marie, R.J. Cecott (“House of Whores”), Keith Bachelor Jr. (“Survival of the Apocalypse”), Kim Casciotti (“I Dared You! Truth or Dare Part 5”), Ashley Casciotti, Abby Graves, and Aria Renee Kenney.

Not to be confused with the popular titular track by the teen enthralling, mega popstar Taylor Swift or the teenage angsty and melodramatic, anthological seasoned series of the same title that once starred Kevin Smith’s daughter Harley Quinn Smith, “Cruel Summer” has loose ties to the other two media consumptions with a rudimentary display of teenage complications that turns full blown slasher in a matter of minutes, ranking the indie horror as bottom shelf goods.  Cruelty lies within the character treatment in an unsatisfactory means to character’s life and/or their demise among a slew of plot holes galore, such as where are Heather’s talked about Aunt and Uncle who own the house?  Why are the killers suddenly interested in the house and the current occupants if they’ve been living next door or in the area all this time?  Is it just happenstance that the killers have imbedded kin in the group of friends travelling to this very house?  My head spins with questions that don’t play out with answers in what is truly a cruel movie that really doesn’t display the ostensible season of Summer with characters in unseasonal jackets, sweats, and flannel and staying in-doors to play in-door games.  Returning to what seems to be an epicenter of importance, the house feels keystone to the merciless slaughter, yet in the same breath, the explanation of executions doesn’t make much sense in the grand scheme of insanity cases, pulling the lynchpin on the narrative structure to have the story collapse on itself by relying on a cock and bull outcome in a slack climax.   

Scream Team Releasing, a distributor who I’ve praised the positive reviewed releases of “Dude Bro Massacre III” and “Rave,” is also home to “Cruel Summer” on Blu-ray home video.  The AVC encoded, high-definition, 1080p resolution BD50 maintains detail composure fairly well with a decoding bitrate average of 30Mbps albeit some fluctuation in the bitrate between exterior lit night scenes and the interior lit scenes.  “Cruel Summer” is more reliant on natural lighting where possible without hyper stylizing with color grading and misfitting CGI blood, resulting in a natural veneer that looks uninspired but adequate for the budget.  There is some minor splotching/banding in darker spots that is the extent of compression issues. The English language Dolby Digital stereo 2.0 mix has difficulty with sealing the rough-and-ready sound design when splicing multiple takes. Dialogue renders over nicely enough but the filtering out of extra elements, such as wind and echoes, that sneak into the recording and though a little background adds a bit of verisimilitude, there’s just too much start and stop audio files and there too intertwined within a varying levels of volume amplitude and varying levels of depth delineation, sometimes muffled or stifled to a softer mix. There are no subtitles available on this release. Bonus features include A Not-So-Cruel Summer featurette with cast and crew interviews, a glimpse behind-the-scenes that goes around scene setups and getting some background on what they’re doing at that time, an audio commentary with director Scott Tepperman going deep into every scene and their backstory with opinions on his cast but eventually Tepperman cuts out near the unveiling climax and he’s just silently watching the film with some snickering or sinus clearings to keep us aware he’s still there, Scott Tepperman, Jim O’Rear, and some of the cast’s Indiegogo crowdfunding campaign fundraiser spiel for a new kind of 80’s slasher, another Indiegogo proof of concept video and pitch, the cast and crew divulge their favorite slasher flick, the grindhouse trailer, and the trailer. The Scream Team Releasing is not rated, runs at a slim 78-minutes, and has region free playback. Don’t sweat over “Cruel Summer” in what is a lukewarm, low-budget slasher with little-to-no curb appeal and the only thing going for the Scott Tepperman feature is the filmmaker’s enthusiasm for 80’s horror which has seemingly been misplaced from the 80’s inspired film itself.

“Cruel Summer” on Blu-ray Home Video!

Punk Rock EVIL For All the “Wrong Reasons” reviewed! (MVD Visual / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Wrong Reasons” is this Year’s Punk Rock Film!  

Australian punk rocker Kat Oden has fame in her home country and is steadily trending in the U.S. but when a masked man kidnaps while she lays unconsciously high in a drugged-out stupor, she wakes up being chained to a bed far away from where she was abducted.  Her mild-mannered kidnapper’s intentions revolve around getting Kat clean of narcotic impurities while the media circus explores wild theories, interviews her self-centered parents, reveals ugly secrets of her American rocker boyfriend, and follows the browbeaten investigation of an actor-turned-detective handling the Kat Oden case.  When the detective goes rogue, burned out by constant belittlement from his chief and being blamed for the inadequacies of his clownish subordinate officers, he makes a deal with an eager news reporter to give them the exclusive solving of the case for his own news show.  As he inches closer to finding Kat, the kidnapper and Kat dynamic undergoes significant strides to understand one another’s wayward reasons. 

The one major difference between major studio productions and the micro independent features shooting during peak COVID weeks, months, or years was the indies made use of the time whereas the bigger budgeted and the hundreds of cast and crew employed were virtually on furlough, hiatus, or just plain scrapped future movie ideas altogether.  Independent films had structural concept advantages, such as a smaller cast and crew to lessen the changes of infection, locations were typically limited so travel was not necessary, and indies sometimes would shoot guerilla style anyway to capture the scenes required for the story.  Writer-director Josh Roush, who lived and breathed producing Kevin Smith documentaries for the “Clerks” and “Dogma” director’s more contemporary credits, decided to pivot into the fictional route and just as soon as his dark comedy script for “Wrong Reasons” was about to start principal photography fruition, the world shut down in a pandemic lockdown.  However, a global emergency didn’t hinder Roush’s ambition and scaled down his crew and cast on set to get the job done. Executively produced by Landon Thorne, Kim Leadford, and Kevin Smith doing his version of Cameo appearances as well as David Shapiro contributing the other half of the funds, “Wrong Reasons” is a production of Rousch’s AntiCurrent Media, with Liv Roush and Matthew Rowbottom producing, and Shaprio’s Semkhor Studios.

In the role of Kat Oden, a real life Australian making her full-length feature film debut, is none other than director Josh Roush’s wife, Liv Roush.  Co-producing the numerous Kevin Smith making-of featurettes and other independent productions, including her husband’s music videos, Liv Roush has always been a face behind the camera and now she’s stepping Infront of the camera, mainstage as the center of a kidnapping ordeal being a promising up-and-coming punk rocker who has lost her way by sinking into drugs and an objectifying relationship with an egotistical American rocker.  While Roush can obviously handle her own being chained to bed in fishnet stockings and dip into a range of rage, fear, hurt, and acceptance, “Wrong Reasons” splits the story with another centric character in Detective Dobson.  Kevin Smith film regular Ralph Garman has a grip on the competent yet pent up case detective Charles Dobson but the detective goes through a series of case mishaps to scheming his own rogue operation that pulls away from the Kate Oden kidnaping ordeal perpetrated by James Winandi, an ambiguously misunderstood role by James Parks (“Red State,” “The Hateful Eight”), son of the legendary actor Michael Parks (“Nightmare Beach,” “From Dusk Till Dawn 3”).  The connection made between Winandi and Oden faces challenges in fully fleshing out what Winandi is trying to accomplish in by removing the lyrically strong and influential rocker toward a path of permanency for other listeners to experience the epiphany that befell Winandi.  It’s a motivation that couldn’t be grasped fully because we’re more invested in this parallel plot of Dobson’s working of an advantageous angle for himself that the message or the theme becomes lost in the superficiality for one’s own sake.  The cast rounds out with perfectly suitable supporting cast including Teresa Ruiz, Daniel Roebuck (“Final Destination,” “31”), David Koechner (“Cheap Thrills,” “Snakes on a Plane”), Matt Passmore (“Jigsaw,” “Come Back to Me”), John Enick (“Project Eve”), Harley Quinn Smith (“Once Upon A Time in Hollywood”), Kym Wilson (“Deadly Cheer”), true to form punk rocker Donita Sparks of L7, Darren Hayes of duo band Savage Garden, as well as a relatively quiet genre icon Vernon Wells (“Commando”) as Kat Oden’s dad and Kevin Smith as the a news cameraman in cargo shorts.

The divided narrative limps unbalanced between the two parallel storylines soon to collide in eventual finality.  We don’t really receive much wisdom, clarity, or even any kind of progressive dynamic between Oden and Winandi who quickly and quirkily come to a sensible understanding with Winandi’s masked kidnapping and Oden being chained to the bed. There’s also piped in televised news reporters covering the kidnapping case or verbally attacking the president or something enthusiastically bias and gospel from the news channels in what becomes a motif of media circus frenzy, corresponding also with the live news coverage that vultures around the Oden case. What Roush is attempting to convey through the unlikely kidnapper and kidnappee pairing doesn’t strum the right chords and flutters in place to where we’re not exactly sure how Kat Oden’s music affects her kidnapper given little-to-no backstory on him and not foreseeing a future outcome of his act in what is almost an akin to winging the situation.  Instead, we’re more engrossed into Detective Dobson’s downtrodden investigation.  A seemingly capable detective with good instincts, negotiating with suspects, and even has a new woman in his bed every night, the luck he has with his professional counterparts, subordinates, and report-to doesn’t necessarily reflect his personality.  When Dobson starts scheming to finally be the one top, the audiences’ attention shifts from the fluttering wrong reason to kidnap your idol to the wrong reason for turning into a self-serving public servant.

“Wrong Reasons” has all the right A/V and bonus content moves on MVDVisual’s Blu-ray release.  The AVC encoded, high-definition 1080p package is presented in a widescreen 2.85:1 aspect ratio.  Cinematography by Josh Roush and Matthew Rowbottom ensure the look Roush wants to obtain for his first feature length fiction, a clean less-is-more, truth-in-practicality visual that often echoes Kevin Smith’s earlier body of work on the indie scale.  The Blu-ray’s BD50 storage capacity handles compression well to thwart any artefact popups and the limited variety of color range, aka a more natural grading, doesn’t pressure the digitally shot film to crumble under the compression.  Details are sharp and textural in what is a solid visual presentation.  The English DTS-HD 5.1 surround sound is equally comparable with a dialogue first clarity.  There’s slight continuous feedback on the underlay, perhaps equipment interference picked up by the mic as it becomes a constant throughout.  Range is also limited to what is essentially a talk head picture with bits of action here and there with “Wrong Reasons” driven by the performances rather than by action.  “Wrong Reasons” is made for and presented by punk rockers with a film that’s very much dedicated to the music genre.  The soundtrack highlights a faction of the punk rock with bands such as Tim Armstrong, L7, The Wipers, Channel 3, The Unseen, Black Flag, and Bi-Product having tracks on the production.  Optional English subtitles are available.  Special features include an lengthy but informative Kevin Smith introduction in his very animated and enthusiastic Kevin Smith style, an audio commentary with director Josh Roush, producer Kevin Smith as well as another a second audio commentary with the director alongside co-producer Matthew Rowbottom, composer Cam Mosvaian, and wife/star Liv Roush, a Q&A session with the Roushes, Kevin Smith, Ralph Garman, and James Parks, deleted scenes and outtakes, Josh Roush’s short film “Idiot Cops,” and the original theatrical trailer.  The exclusive MVD release comes with a cardboard O-slip of a generically staged, or promo-esque, Liv Roush ankle-chained to a chair with a masked man standing next to her in non-menacing positions.  Inside is a reversible front cover of the same image, but I prefer the reverse side of the black and red illustrated silhouettes of the same character inside the clear Blu-ray snapper as it invokes more intrigue and suspense.  The disc art misleads with a horror composite of Kate Oden screaming, looking afraid, and the kidnappers mask hard lit to look more dramatic.  There are no insert materials.  The not rated film has a runtime of 97 minutes and has region free playback.  Josh Roush’s debut dark comedy has transference troubles, perhaps I’m not too punk enough to fully absorb how the music should move me, but we see acting veterans and greenhorns mix it up fitly for this COVID era picture.  

“Wrong Reasons” is this Year’s Punk Rock Film!  

Its Just Not Any Evil Film. Its “A Serbian Film” review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on


Milos, an aging porn star, struggles to provide for his wife and son. Though still working here and there with mediocre gigs, Milos longs for the glory days as the stud every starlet desires for a scene with, but for Milos, his family comes first and foremost. When an admiring former colleague offers him a meet and greet with a provocative director presenting a contract that would set his family stable for life, Milos assures himself doing the right thing along with the permission from his wife. He meets with Vukmir who captivates with progress pornography art, a new age of adult material, that will be novel and exciting that’s enshrouded with obscurities about who exactly the seasoned star is performing with and what exactly he is supposed to do in this project. What unravels before him is Vukmir’s mad vision that not only breaks every law and moral fiber know to mankind’s sexual nature, it completely obliterates the rules toward sexual deviances in an underground criminal industry that banks on the wealthy’s sordid tastes.

A long time has this reviewer been patiently waiting for the opportunity to screen Srdan Spasojevic’s written and directed multi-country banned film, “A Serbian Film.” Also known as “Srpski Film” in Serbia, the 2010 exploitation that features substantially graphic material with themes of necrophilia, pedophilia, and snuff rarely finds a suitable medium for an uncut presentation as Spasojevic’s feature consistently, and perhaps rightfully so, goes under the governing censorship board’s scalpel to selectively trim the excessive violence, the crude depiction of children, and all the other shocking material that’s rammed unwillingly into your backside. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how one perceives artful censorship, the most accessible copy of “A Serbian Film” has limited cuts that total approximately one minute worth of footage left on the cutting room floor to just eek one out from the ratings’ club. Though listed on the DVD back cover as unrated, this cut will be the one reviewed below from U.S. distributors Invincible Pictures and MVDVisual.

How does an actor run with a performance that incorporates vile and degrading perversive qualities and circumstances upon a character? I don’t know and I don’t know how, but somehow Srdjan Todorovic killed the performance as Milos. Todorovic’s veteran filmography credits establish him as a natural switch between characterizations and choking up on the reigns of each facet to achieve maximum reaction. Milos is a physically challenging role with many difficult scenes and Todorovic found inspiration out of thin air; I’m sure the Yugoslavian born actor needed a months’ worth of showers to remove the disgust from off his flesh when the film wrapped. Another complex character is Marko, Milos’ dangerously envious cop brother who chomps at the bit for Milos’ sexual longevity, stellar porn career, and his gorgeous wife. Slobodan Bestic could have passed for a Serbian Hugh Jackman from “Swordfish,” complete with little dangly earring. Bestic’s performance is unnerving, haunting, and downright salacious that waves in and out of a potentially dangerous man with a hankering for carnal informalities. Speaking of which, Vikmur epitomizes the very definition of being a lunatic. The lavish filmmaker has grandeur style with repugnant tastes in content. Sergej Trifunovic puts on the shiny shoes and fancy suits to become the venomous underground kingpin with a torrent of tasteless videos and the “Next” actor really plays the bad guy well, really does a showmanship disenfranchising Milos and those that love him their ability to enjoy free will. The remaining cast include Jelena Gavrilovic, Katarina Zutic, Luka Mijatovic, Miodrag Krcmarik, and Andela Nenadovic.

A unforeseen aspect of “A Serbian Film” that rings surprising is the engrained story of an extremely fallible hero. Srdan Spasojevic proved shocking, exploitation horror doesn’t have to be completely allegorically benign and the filmmaker has even mentioned that his film is a composite piece of abusive power from authoritative figures forcing people against their will, as if spellbound, to do atrocious acts and while these acts might not be atrocious as rape, sexual assault on children, or using an erect penis to kill someone, Spasojevic creates moments where his statements are affirmed. The transition between act 2 and act 3 backs Vukmir against a wall, trying to salvage his star’s contract by debating material that’s good for all. Spasojevic hones in on Vukmir’s raving soapbox speech to Milos about how he and his company govern the country and how they are the backbone of his of the sovereign Sebrian nation, the true delusion of power and the wool over the sheep’s eyes as the action point.

Invincible Pictures, the same folks who distributed Kevin Smith’s “Yoga Hosers,” and MVDVisual present “A Serbian Film” as a re-release onto DVD home video. Presented in a widescreen, 16:9 aspect ratio, the image warrants no mention of issues as a clean picture in a dry-yellowish tint while still maintaining some natural lighting and depth in the gruesome details pop every sensory nodes. Banding problems are faint at best and the edits are what they are sense the film is slightly trimmed anyway. The Serbian language 2.0 stereo mix pounds with a pulsating electronic-rock score and shows the ranging with the screaming, whimpering, crying, and the sloshing of blood and semen fluids. The English subtitles are error-free and have hardline text that make reading them more easily. Though usually bonus features are preferred, in this case, just having “A Serbian Film” alone on this DVD release didn’t feel necessary to have the share the film with the bonus features, creating an intimate moment between viewer and feature. “A Serbian Film” sears a glowing hot lasting impression right into the mind and soul, twisted and perverse in an unfathomable immoral compass too messed up beyond the most descriptive of descriptions. “A Serbian Film” is best viewed alone, without food, and with your sensitivity left outside.

Must-by “A Serbian Film” on DVD!

Colleen and Colleen Versus the Evil Bratzis! “Yoga Hosers” review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on


Colleen Collette and Colleen McKenzie are best friends. They’re also two superficial 15-year-old girls who are nose deep into their social media campaigning cell phones, jamming in their girl punk band Glamthrax, and living by the unorthodox, yet namaste driven, yoga practices while exasperatingly working at one of girl’s father’s convenient stores called “Eh-2-Zed.” Set in the Great White North of Canada, the Winnipeg, Manitoba sophomores are surprisingly invited to a senior party, a lure by a popular, good-looking senior boy who has a darker, Satanic side to him. The Colleen girls’ run in with a murderous devil worshipping senior inadvertently opens another hidden danger lurking 37 feet beneath their “Eh-2-Zed” soles. A slumbering Nazi mad scientists has been awoken and aims to finish his Third Reich master plan to take over Canada with a cloned army of Bratzis, living Bratwurst sausages who are pint-sizes Nazis, and seeks to unleash evil upon the Manitoba Earth.

Kevin Smith’s latest pop-cultural flick, a comedy-horror feature, entitled “Yoga Hosers” is the second installment, following 2014’s film “Tusk”, in Smith’s horror-inspired trilogy known as The True North Trilogy. Did you noticed I labeled “Yoga Hosers” as a comedy-horror instead of a horror-comedy? The “Mallrats” and “Clerks” director basks more in the familiarity of witty, profane humor in this second of three films, but Kevin Smith has known to dapple, gradually stepping over to the dark side into horror with his radical religious sect piece “Red State” and, like aforementioned, the body-horror “Tusk.” The Jersey native also has an occasional appearance on AMC’s “The Talking Dead,” a talk show about “The Walking Dead’s” post-premier of each episode, and has meddled in the realm of the fantastic. Not only is Smith a strong advocate and sincerely passionate comic book enthusiast, coinciding with his own AMC show “The Comic Book Men,” but “Dogma,” starring the late Alan Rickman, delivers divine revelations and, now, with “Yoga Hosers,” a villainous Nazi clones miniature Bratwurst soldiers. Smith holds, in my opinion, one of the most extremely diverse bodies of work in our lifetime.

Where as “Tusk” goes gritty and gory with R rated horror-comedy, Smith’s intentions for “Yoga Hosers” has always leaned toward that of PG-13 and, maybe, that’s due in part of the two films’ minoring connection. The connection, presumably set in the same whacked out alternate universe, stem from the two Colleens, one played by Smith’s hysterically funny daughter, Harley Quinn Smith, and the other being Harley’s longtime, kindergarden friend Lily-Rose Depp. Yes, the daughter of mega star Johnny Depp and French singer Vanessa Paradis brings her inherited talent and French dialect to one-half of a buddy comedy. The 15-year old girls, who are also 15-year old in character, transfer their natural offscreen relationship into being an entitled millennial pair with every intent on neglecting responsibility until faced with the moment of truth. Teamed up well with Lily-Rose’s father, Johnny Depp, under the heavy makeup of a fictional French manhunter named Guy Lapointe, also from “Tusk,” with scene-to-scene rotating facial mole, the crime fighting, buddy trio awkwardly moves across the plain in an enjoyable double entendre performance of simple wit. Accompanying Depp, Smith, and Depp are an eclectic roster of Kevin Smith’s usuals such as Justin Long (“Tusk,” “Jeepers Creepers”) as a reality-severed Yoga instructor named Yogi Bayer, Jason Mewes (“Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back”) in a bit part, and, of course, Kevin Smith himself as the devilish Bratzis. New faces also make the scene with an unrecognizable Haley Joel Osment (“Sixth Sense”) as a young Canadian Nazi and “Orange is the New Black” Natasha Lyonne portraying a slutty Eh-2-Zed manager who sleeps her way to the top with Colleen C’s father, “Veep’s” Tony Hale.

“Yoga Hosers” explodes with Canadian farce that’s laced heavily with jokes on ‘aboots,’ hockey jersey-wearing patrons, an alternate version of Lucky Charms called Pucky Charms, and many more stereotypical references that satirically poke a good humored finger at Canadian culture and pop-culture. To top this satire sundae, the smug Colleens define the very title of the film with their dimwitted sludge and white girl yoga written into every storyboard moment. “Yoga Hosers'” buddy film concept gives an opportunity to two young and clueless teen girls who genre pirate the story with a jalopy of unsystematic plot humor, sucking away and discarding like garbage the sole ounce of blended “Gremlins” and “Puppet Master” cavalier subgenre horror that’s comfortably pleasant and inarguable right for a fun film of this triviality. Though I think the Colleens’ have had their story told, I’m intrigued to see what the pair of aloof teens offer in Smith’s third film of the trilogy, “Moose Jaws.”

MVDVisual distributes a dual format Blu-ray, DVD, and Digital HD release of the various production companies’, including main investor, Invincible Pictures, and Kevin Smith’s founded SModcast Pictures, “Yoga Hosers.” The Blu-ray disc is a MPEG-2 encoded 1080p transfer with a 2.38:1 presentation and, rarely, flutters under a mediocre bitrate. Image brightens with a glossy coating that revels in brighter hues of blue, pink, orange, and yellow while starker bolds such as red and purple pop with vividness. Yet, sharp details are thin, less defined to bring high definition to present technological age. The English Dolby Digital 5.1 track slightly elevates the ambient noise, especially during the girls’ punk rock practice that muffles out portions of their vocals, yet still manages to vary and balance. The only bonus feature available is a behind-the-scenes featurette that includes some insightful interviews. “Yoga Hosers” oppresses a melancholy reminder that the old Kevin Smith is no more and dawns a Kevin Smith 2.0 who transforms his satirical trademarks and his witty banter into strange misadventures, involving, in this case, two teenage fools flighting from one sub-narrative to another in a mixed bag of comedy and inferior minion horror.

Buy “Yoga Hosers” on Bluray/DVD/Digital HD at Amazon!

Evil Medical Technicians. “Old 37” review!

Posted by Steven Lewis on

14412
Under the sadistic thumb of their ruthless father, two physically and mentally abused brothers as children follow in their father’s footsteps in adulthood, falsely portraying to be EMT’s in old ambulance 37 and slaughtering those who desperately need medical attention on an infamous and isolated stretch of road. When the brothers’ loving mother becomes the victim of a hit and run by a group of young teens, the brothers’ quest to kill gets personal. Unbeknownst to them as the brothers’ targeted prey, the arrogant and rowdy teens live their complex and immature lives, overflowing with trivial matters such as fast cars, dating, and cosmetic surgeries.
vlcsnap-2016-01-18-19h06m49s251
“Old 37” (aka “Ambulance 37” or aka “Death Call”) wrecks before reaching the finish line. Bittersweetly, the story by Paul Travers, written also by Paul Travers and Joe Landes, is an interesting concept of life savers taking lives and, interestingly enough, a similar idea was in the news recently where a supposed unmarked cop cart pulls over young women, but the driver is actually a cunning rapist instead of an actual officer of the law. “Old 37” is essentially art mimicking real life.  We feel safe when an emergency civil servant or agent is present or tells us not to worry, as exhibited in “Old 37.”  “Don’t worry, I’m a paramedic,” says one of the demented brothers.
vlcsnap-2016-01-18-19h16m41s31
“Old 37” greatly has much going for the Three Point Capital funded movie.  Three Point Capital has backed many other notable films such as “Insidious:  Chapter 2,” “Nightcrawler,” and Kevin Smith’s “Red State.”  Partnered up with Joe Dante’s “Burying the Ex’s” post-production company Siren Digital, the two companies had the mucho dinero to sleekly design, which it does, and to hire a moderately formidable cast, which they do.  Kane Hodder and Bill Moseley headline, being the pair of horror icons forced to be reckoned with, and slide into the shoes of the two ambulance driving, bloodthirsty brothers, intercepting 911 calls via their scanner for victims.  Hodder hasn’t lost that Jason Voorhees gait and menacing body motions and Moseley, without even trying, has the uncanny ability to sinister up an entertaining and terrifying persona. Together on screen, a powerhouse of an unimaginable magnitude as they are, hands down, the highlight of “Old 37.”
output_wTBXrG
With high-end production value and two of probably the most prolific names in horror attached, what could go wrong? Well, the first wrong is “Old 37” is mostly an unfunny teen comedy rather than a horror movie. It’s more “She’s All That,” than “Scream.” It’s more “American Pie,” than “I Know What You Did Last Summer.” It’s more “10 Things I Hate About You,” than…you get the picture. Horror didn’t surface into full eligibility until about the last 20 minutes with the archetypical final girl chase finale and even then was the horror story still underdeveloped. The teen characters’s lives are too complex as they take over the story, including one awkward, self-loathing lead character, Samantha, eager to fit in (even though she does), eager to look beautiful (which she already does), and eager to obtain breast augmentation (though she doesn’t need them). The breast enhancement scenes drastically change the direction of the film, throwing me for a serious loop for various reasons: Samantha gets the okay right away when she asks her mother for new breasts, she gets new breasts in a matter of days, and she isn’t sore or in pain directly after receiving them. Time is an illusion when two the contrasts display Samantha throughout going forward from the entire beginning to end process for new flesh pillows while one of her crude friends gets murdered. Something doesn’t add up.
vlcsnap-2016-01-18-19h24m45s1
Special effects guy Pete Gerner and his talented crew do blood spattering justice with the sanguinary written murders and while I feel the brutality and the blood is amongst the film’s aurora, the gooey gory scenes are quickly edited, taking away the time to where we can’t fully appreciate, fully engulf, nor fully digest the “I Sell The Dead” Gerner effects. The final nail in the coffin is director Alan Smithee. If you Google Alan Smithee, results will show that Alan Smithee is a pseudonym used by directors who want to disown a project. Christian Winters removed his name from “Old 37” because he thought his control over the film wasn’t his anymore. And that’s fairly accurate as “Old 37” seems and feels incomplete, much like Rob Schmidt’s 2011 unfinished debacle “Bad Meat,” directed under his pseudonym Lulu Jarmen, and just like “Bad Meat,” “Old 37” has the potential, the substance, and the talent to what could have been a solid horror narrative.

Overall, “Old 37” has the financial backing, has some serious blood that made the cut, has a great soundtrack assortment, and has motherfuckin’ Bill Moseley and Kane Hodder. What the disowned film lacks is a well-written narrative, contains poorly written and idiotic teenage characters, and needs a director with an eye for direction instead of a producer with greedy big pockets. “Old 37,” under the name “Death Call,” will be hitting DVD shelves from UK distributor High Fliers films. If you’re a fan of Hodder and Moseley, but don’t expect a typical horror movie as this film goes through multiple genre transitions and doesn’t settle just on one at any point. There is one delicate scene of Olivia Alexander which I’m sure will be pleasing to any viewer.