Disguise as the Dead to Defeat EVIL! “The Shadow Boxing” reviewed! (88 Films / Blu-ray)

Corpse Herding Isn’t Easy in “The Shadow Boxing.” Purchase Your Copy Here!

Corpse herder Fan Chun-Yuen has studied Master Chen for years, learning the ritual incantations and mastering the nuances of getting the dead home to their loved ones for proper burial.  What should have been a routine corpse herding goes astray when the last arrival of a corpse, a bald man, seemingly has issues following the simple incantations and master Chen’s leg is broken during a misunderstanding over gambling winnings at one of their resting pitstops.  Being left with no choice, Fan Chun-Yuen must herd the rest of the hopping corpses, publicly feared as hopping vampires, to their terminus with the aid of aspiring corpse herder and an undeterred woman Ah-Fei.  At the same time, criminal overlord Zhou, a casino owner, and a corrupt military leader are in search of a moral sub-lieutenant who can foil their plans and who has seemingly evaded all military checkpoints in route to Zhou, leaving the corpse herding understudies in the middle of a danger. 

The jiāngshī, or hopping vampire, is the Chinese version of the living dead, whether be a vampire, zombie, or a ghost in the country’s folklore.  In Chia-Liang Liu’s 1979 comedy-actioner “The Shadow Boxing,” the horror element of the jiāngshī is reduced to no more than a few false scares on the Chinese cultural collectiveness of superstitious fears.  Originally known as “Mao shan jiang shi quan” and also known as “The Spiritual Boxer II,” the film is considered a quasi-sequel to also Liu’s 1975 “The Spiritual Boxer” but only in association to the director and one of the principal actors and not a direct, character-connecting sequel by any other means.  The late “Human Lanterns” and “Demon of the Lute” writer Kuang Ni pens the script with Kung-fu comedy in mind amongst seedy corruption aimed to thwart tradition and principles, shot in Hong Kong by Celestial Entertainment on the Shaw Brothers studio lot, and produced by younger Shaw brother, Run Run or Shao Renleng. 

The actor who carries over from “The Spiritual Boxer” is “Dirty Ho” star Yue Wong in the role of corpse herding apprentice with a bad memory, Fan Chun-Yuen.  Wong’s character is a likeable learner who has the skills to be great at his vocation but lacks the confidence without being tethered to his master, played as drunkard and obsessive gambler by Chia-Liang’s brother, Chia-Young Liu, a longtime stunt man (“Once Upon A Time in China,” “The Savage Killers”) and actor (“The Return of the One Armed Swordsman,” “Five Fingers of Death”).  Fan Chun-Yuen tries to keep his sifu on a straighten arrow and focus on the task on hand and Wong and Chia-Liang invest that dynamic wholeheartedly while maintaining their sense of strength outside military force and criminal brutality to be masters under the flags of good and just.  Between them, a level of trust and reliance is displayed through their fighting casino goons and military soldiers where Wong needs his master to shout commands of the vampire style due to his bad memory.  There’s almost zero context on why that is but adds a melted layer of slip-in, slip-out comedy to make it unusually entertaining.  An understudy of the understudy and borderline love interest comes from Cecilia Wong (“The Hunter, the Butterfly and the Crocodile”) as Ah-Fei, a friend of Fan Chun Yuen who doesn’t want an arranged marriage but has an underscoring coyness with Fan Chun but their misadventures delivering the beloved bodies to grieving relatives proves to be difficult and much of their shenanigans to try and make their “mastery” believable in order to deliver the goods gets in the way of that amorous connection.  Also in the way are the corruptive forces hellbent to track down Chang Chieh (another Liu brother in Gordon Liu, “Kill Bill”) before he foils their transgressions, coinciding with performances from Lung Chan, Han Chiang, Wu-liang Chang, and Norman Chu.

“The Shadow Boxing” finely blends the chop-socky action with mystical folklore and comedy that’s not overly slapstick or buffoonery.  A serious layer runs through the middle of story and while the line chart fluctuates between peaks of let-loose Wing Chun and then violent sway the other direction with fleeting spikes of death and ghoulish shades, there’s never a tiresome tone of stagnating acts as Kuang Ni’s script develops and progresses upon the micro and macro dynamics of good versus evil characters, especially how Ni slyly introduces audiences to the last and bald corpse and it’s diverging acts of not exactly following incantational direction, in a mistakenly, humorous way.  The off feeling is there of baldie being of some importance but not until more third-party clues come to light halfway through the runtime and it’s by then the lightbulb begins to flutter and anticipatory wait for exposure begins.  If looking at “The Shadow Boxing” on a more comprehensive scale in the martial arts genre, the pace of fighting emulates too much on the lines of choreography counting.  Slow and herky-jerky, there’s not a smooth transition of moves in either of the individualized faceoffs or in the group skirmishes that doesn’t reflect well upon the stunt department as martial arts is the centerpiece of the action.  Every other aspect of creating tension and levity with the action works perfectly only to be lopsided by the sudden starts, stops, starts of checklist kick and punches. 

88 Films’ North American label lands the new high-definition release of “The Shadow Boxing” with an AVC encoded, 1080p, BD50.  The transfer is processed from the original negative and presented in the original Cinemascope aspect ratio of a 2.35:1.  The anamorphic lens used compresses the image, creating a spherical or rounded out sides on tighter shots, a known issue for the lenses of those times.  The 35mm negative has won the test of time with a near spotless print that 88 Films sharpens the color palette and defines the broader details with texture lacing, decoding the image at an average of 33Mbps.  There are times the details appear too texturally chiseled with the Shaw Brothers’ set backgrounds exposed as obviously painted backdrops, see the final showdown fight.  A single audio, uncompressed output of a LPCM Mandarin 2.0 mono is offered on the release.  The track comprises enough overlapping range of effects to sturdy the sound design almost as if it was an innate recording.  The instilled post effects have the traditional Chinese martial arts flare of whacks and thunks but added with greatly synchronous care whereas the dialogue, though clean and present at the front, has the expected timing issues with an intensity level that doesn’t quite match at times.  English subtitles are optionally available.  Surprisingly, this is one of the few 88 Films releases without special features other than the original trailer.  Instead, the label elevates the physical release with a limited-edition stunning monochromatic and illustrated cover art by Mark Bell with subtle tactile elements on the cardboard O-slipcover.  The same image is showcased as the primary clear Amaray cover art but with slightly more color added to it while the reverse sleeve features the original Hong Kong poster art.  The LE also comes with 4 collectable artcards, though they’re more still image cards than art.  The not rated, 101-minute runtime 88 Films release is encoded for only two of the three regions with an A and B playback.

Last Rites: Hong Kong cinema has been fast, loose, and either furiously funny or folklorically fist over hard-hitting fist and Chia-Liang Liu’s “The Shadow Boxing” takes into account both now on a format pedestal with a new Blu-ray release from 88 Films!

Corpse Herding Isn’t Easy in “The Shadow Boxing.” Purchase Your Copy Here!

A World Lost in Time Ruled by the EVILEST Animated Lizards with Spears! “The Primevals” reviewed! (Full Moon Features / Blu-ray)

Yetis! Reptiles! “The Primevals” Lives Up To Its Title!

Himalayan Sherpas kill what was once considered the mythical Yeti.  The corpse is then donated to a U.S. university for scientific study.  When the grand reveal and world announcement that the abdominal snowman does exist, not only does the mankind go into a frenzy of questions and shock, but also proves sound one self-ostracized student’s long-rejected university thesis on the creature’s existences.  Teaming up with the university scientific department head, who now apologetically regrets personally rejecting his thesis based of speculatory concepts, an expedition to the Himalayas is formed to find, capture, and study the Yeti and sets in motion yet another discovery of a lifetime, a thousands of years old reptilian and technologically advanced alien race that have isolated themselves and have settled in a manipulated climate control river valley of the mountains and has surgically altered the minds of the Yeti to be more aggressive for battle and entertainment. 

“The Primevals” is a film 30 years in the making and is new film by a director who has long since passed away.  The 2023 released Full Moon production began its journey in 1993 with director David Allen, a visual and special effects artist who held prominence in Charles Band’s company as one of the go-to effects artists having played a big part of the crew in the “Puppet Master” franchise as well as note-worthy outside Band’s company with 1970’s “Equinox” and Joe Dante’s “The Howling” with stop-motion animation.  “The Primevals” relies heavily on stop-motion for the Yeti and reptilian race creatures based on Allen’s co-script treatment with another stop-motion and depth/dimensional effects master in “The Gate’s” Randall William Cook.  With all the live-action shots completed over the course of five years due to do Full Moon financial issues and “The Primevals” being an ambitious endeavor, David Allen untimely passes and the film is shelved for the unforeseeable future.  Once the ground under his feet was solid again, Band initiated an Indiegogo campaign to get the film finished and did so with a humble amount raised from contributors.  The Full Moon production was filmed in Romania, with the coproduction of Castle Film Romania, with additional mountain scenes filmed in Italy at the Dolomites mountains. 

Perhaps one of the more wholesome productions from Full Moon, “The Primevals” embraces that made-for-TV bravado of an expedition trek into a journey of the lost world.   The selected expeditioners are diverse enough to encourage character backstories and development, beginning with the civilized contentious history between Matt Connor, a former student whose Yeti thesis was rejected, and Dr. Claire Collier, the department director who did the rejecting on Matt Connor’s paper.  While the opportunity for a smug I-told-you-so moment is missed with a greater rebuff of excuses from the academia elite, respective role takers Richard Joseph Paul (“Oblivion,” “Vampirella”) and English actress Juliet Mills (“Beyond the Door,” “Demon, Demon”) are a cordial couple of platonic researchers who put their differences aside for the greater good of science.  In the real world, this premise wouldn’t fly and really harks back to underneath the bedrock of golden age cinema where creature features and lost world genre films reside.  They’re joined by the sport-hunting rehabilitated tracker and overall sensitive macho man Rando Montana, played by the screaming old man in the woods from “A Quiet Place,” Leon Russom.  Russom’s portrays a solid enough tough guy without really being challenged as such and that hurts Rando’s likeability, credibility, and survivability.  The grittiness, through the vessel of revenge, comes more from the Himalayan Sherpa with a grudge Siku by Tai Thai (“Killing Zoe”).  Walker Brandt (“Dante’s Peak”) rounds out the ensemble, whitewashing as a Sherpa sister to Siku.  With no real motive why she joins the expedition, Brandt’s character Kathleen dons the possible love interest role to Matt Cooper but that also doesn’t necessarily flesh out and secludes Kathleen’s contributions and presence as unnecessary.  Now, perhaps if she played a red shirt character, that would be another story. 

For a 30-year-old production, which still boggles my 40-year-old mind that it was only 1993, “The Primevals” footage was kept in great care by Charles Band and Full Moon Entertainment as it lies and waits to be restarted, and modernly restored, after it’s energizing battery, Director David Allen, suddenly dies.  The film embodies a show of perseverance by Band and company to not only have this homage of harrowing Earthbound sci-fi feature not be lost forever but also to posthumously honor David Allen and his legacy.  The stop-motion animation that was later added to the live action shots has near a seamless quality and is smoother, livelier than earlier examples of its anthropomorphic kind with stronger depth in the matte imagery to create the illusion of space and girth and puppeteering conjoined with more frames represent a sharper realism.  Granted, the Yeti and reptilian race still have the rad appearance of tangible 1990s toys but stop-motion has become a lost art that’s seeing a bit of a comeback in indie horror and sci-fi and it’s a welcome revert from the glossy, smoothed over, and ridiculously unnatural and impalpable computer-generated visual effects of certain films today. 

The epic arrives onto the home media format with a Full Moon Features single disc Blu-ray release.  A single-layered BD25 presented in a 1080p high definition and widescreen aspect ratio of anamorphic 1.78:1, “The Primevals” emerges generally seamless, especially since the work completed on the film spans over multiple decades.  However, what I suspect is the original 35mm print has been slightly smoothed over in the 2K processing and gives “The Primevals” a cleaner, sterile façade without the presence of natural grain.  Now, that’s not deeming the transfer as an enhanced flaw but rather just an observance as the image does favor the retro-adventure style of what the project aimed to accomplish.  Matte landscapes and miniaturized objects and characters meld and unify into one frame thanks to Randall Cook’s dimensional knowhow, the details on David Allen’s puppets, and a solidly uniform transfer of diffuse color, lower contrast, and cared for print.  The English language audio has two options, a Dolby Digital 2.0 and 5.1, both containing lossy clear, robust dialogue overtop a lively energetic and epic orchestra score by Charles Band’s brother, Richard Band.  Synchronized Foley assists in the anthropomorphic puppetry come to life and can be perceived instinctually through the side and rear channels.  There’s not a ton of LFE in what is more of one-sided octave above around the 4 or 5th.  Subtitles are available in English only.  One area that lacks substance in where one would think after 30-years of effort to get “The Primevals” out from the shadows is the special features.  Likely due to budget constraints, there is no showcasing of bons materials that structure around the struggles of finishing the film or a tribute to David Allen’s legacy and that greatly diminishes a portion of “The Primevals’” context value to audiences that may not be aware of the film’s historical troubles.  The only special feature listed under the static menu is the official trailer.  The standard physical release has little going for it too with a traditional Blu-ray Amaray casing sporting an epically rendered illustration of what to expect and a suitable homage to classic stop-motion adventure-creature celluloids.  Inside is a blue washed image of a Yeti pressed on the disc and there are no tangible inserts included.  Full Moon backdates the numerical order of catalogue releases and lists it as number 87.  The region free Blu-ray comes not rated and has a runtime 91 minutes. 

Last Rites: While its phenomenal to see that the beleaguered “The Primevals” didn’t let death and financial ruin didn’t stop Charles Band and steadfast backers from ponying up time and funds to see this project through to a long-awaited release, and such a marvel homage the film itself is to behold, there’s still a frustration to be had against the standard release that shows little interest in bonus featuring Davide Allen to celebrate the man, the myth, and the story’s ultimate creator. That material you’ll have to wait until 2025 when Full Moon releases the 3-Disc Collector’s Edition.

Yetis! Reptiles! “The Primevals” Lives Up To Its Title!

Screenland’s Bright Lights Can Turn One Lonely Man EVIL! “Hollywood 90028” reviewed! (Grindhouse Releasing / 3-Disc Blu-ray and CD)

“Hollywood 90028” 3-Disc Collector’s Edition Can Be Preordered Here!

Having moved West from a small Ohio town a few years back, photographer and video cameraman Mark found himself stuck shooting nudie reels for a low-budget porn producer.   A solitary life lends Mark more freedom then most to wonder about and driver around on the streets of Hollywood with ambitions for a legit job of shooting regular material that doesn’t humiliate him.  Troubled about his childhood past involving the death of a younger brother and with his frustrations within his video film capturing vocation, Mark finds himself in the company of young, attractive women who find him easy to talk to and attractive as well, but when Mark reaches a limit, aberrant thoughts take over and he strangles them to death.  When he meets starlet Michele on one of his shoots, Mark believes he’s found the woman for him, one that can relieve the pressures of life and work with nothing more than her beauty.  For Mark’s abnormal mind, love at first sight might not be that easy.

Writer-director Christina Hornisher tackles trauma induced behavior and the Hollywood pull of small-town aspirations chasing dreams in the drama-suspenser character piece of “Hollywood 90028.”  Hornisher’s debut feature film released in 1973 also became her only feature credit as a director who supplied arthouse substance but also embodied a different kind of substance, the grueling confiscation of hope for work, stardom, and love, perhaps even sliding into a bit of escapism, as the bright lights of Hollywood draw the flies to the flame.  Shot on location in and around the Hollywood, Los Angeles area that also had scenes fillmed directly at and underneath of the self-referential hillside Hollywood sign landmark before the iconic, globally recognized attraction had been fenced-off with visitation restrictions post-film in the 1980s and further protected with security systems in the mid-1990s.  Hornisher also self-produced the film which was also known under alternate titles as “The Hollywood Hillside Strangler,” “Twisted Throats,” and “Insanity.” 

Christopher Augustine, who would also have a part in “The Doll Squad” of the same year, played Mark the calm and restrained pornography cinematographer and editor.  Not as sleazy as his title, Mark’s reserved nature doesn’t stop him from photographing and working diligently on splicing film without completely cutting off from the world but does make him quiet, observant, and intriguing, or so does Michelle thought.  Michelle’s a smalltown girl who moved West to work in the fame industry who soon finds herself being financially forced out of legit paying gigs for more sordid, sleazy work.  Played by Jeannette Dilger, who would actually have a role in the adult film “Young, Hot ‘n Nasty Teenage Cruisers” a few years later, she would spark chemistry with the mustached Augustine that allows their Mark and Michelle to fall in love that isn’t amorously glamorous but has innocent notes of flirtation and a lot of walk-and-talk realism onscreen relationships tend to omit.  Hornisher determines Mark to be the centerpiece of her character study.  Every scene caters to Mark’s interactions with Michelle, his professionalism with sleaze producer Jabol (Dick Glass), and the two other women he meets and eventually strangles.  Where Hornisher isn’t her best is in the building up of Mark’s suppressed sociopathic behavior, stemmed from a brief opening montage of a preteen Mark and his large family that implies his involvement in the accidental death of a younger brother, with ever delicate triggering that doesn’t solidify calling back to his aggressive-resulting trauma.  “Hollywood 90028” cast rounds out with Dianna Huntress, Beverly Walker, Kia Cameron, Ralph Campbell, Melonie Haller and Gayle Davis.

Though her first feature credit, Hornisher had the makings of a competent, auteur filmmaker.  “Hollywood 90028” evaded the conventional narrative structure and one-trick pony photography with more arthouse ambition that saw not only panning and tracking in her cinematic cache, but a stunning and incredibly quick finale zoom out from the Hollywood sign of smooth drone quality but completed in 1973 with a helicopter soaring over the Hollywood district.  Use of spliced-in cells of modeled sex representation as well as sign denotations of the character’s dialogue and thoughts, a kaleidoscope lens utilized during an intimate love scene, and the greater use of off-screen dialogue over on-screen conversating creates a thin layer of psychological realism in contrast to the actual realism between Mark and the rest of the characters.  Mark’s sullen display of emotions throughout the story culminates with his unconscious destructive demise after finally expressing a sliver of elation with Michelle but that’s also when he realizes that his tragic past and present psychosis will never let him go and will destroy anything that tries to replace it.  In one theory, Hornisher might have kept Mark in the same clothes throughout most of the picture to depict a deranged mental image; his constant choice of clothes is a hangup that can’t be let go for sharp-eyed viewers who wish he’d change out of his denim, long-sleeved shirt and denim jeans.  Unlike Mark’s unchanging denim statement, Hollywood in Hornisher’s film is a city captured in time; much like the Hollywood sign had gone from an area of loitering to now protected from the public, the fornicated fleapits and the colorful and character-building structures of Hollywood have long since been razed and rebuilt into the more glamourous, if not still snakebitten, Hollywood you see today. 

Grindhouse Releasing has gone the extra mile in not releasing a standard version of “Hollywood 90028” with standard fare and a rink-a-dink, barely passing muster transfer, but releasing a definitive chef-d’oeuvre of this lost Christina Hornisher film.  The new 4K restoration created from the original 35mm negative makes a statement that they underrated, underappreciated and the underbelly of indie cinema will not be ignored and, instead, be celebrated in retrospect, recoloring, and painstaking supervision in the efforts of all areas of rejuvenation.  The 3-disc, Blu-ray and CD set has an AVC encoded, 1080p high-defintion, 50 gigabyte capacity on the feature disc.  Presented in anamorphic widescreen 1.85:1, the Grindhouse Releasing restoration gives “Hollywood 90028” a fresh coat of paint on a precise saturation spectrum and illuminates details from the limitations of untouched, processed 35mm triacetate.  The original negative appears to have survived the test of time with barely perceptible, thin vertical scratches that were more sporadically sparse than a nagging nuisance.  Grain’s healthy and natural looking in the overlap and the contrasts levels clarify stark delineation and depth, attributing to finer details on textures and skin tones when mostly interior scenes.  Exteriors lose some definition because of the natural lighting and contrast levels typically lower to more create deeper shadows and amalgamation between object and background.  Video bitrate decodes a nice low 30s Mbps. The back cover does not provide explicit specs for the audio but my setup picks up the English language mix as a DTS-HD master audio stereo (the menu setup states mono) is the adequate acquaintance to the visual elements with an ADR dialogue recording, that to note has nothing to do with the release’s presentation, does feel detached in some regard to the visual character temperament despite its well-preserved clarity and projection, but the real star of the audio makeup is the Basil Poledouris (“RoboCop”, “Starship Troopers”), remastered by Jussi Tegelman soundtrack that is a delicate and absorbing mix of piano, wind-instrument, and percussive that reflects Mark’s wondering loneliness and reserved longing as well as introducing jazzier sax and guitar tracks for livelier montage moments.  Suddenly, we’re thrust into string-laden, semi-dark and low-tones for Mark’s buried spiraling. English subtitles are available.  Grindhouse Releasing had some so bonus content they added a second disc with the first containing audio commentaries with film enthusiast Marc E. Heuck, the film’s editor Leon Ortiz-Gil, and cult and porn director Tom DeSimone who attended UCLA with Hornisher, the original, unrestored, X-rated alternate scenes, Christina Hornisher’s experimental 16mm short films, cameraman outtakes, still galleries, radio spots and trailers under the “Hollywood Hillside Stranger,” the “Hollywood 90028” trailer, and the Grindhouse Releasing coming attractions.  The second disc contains retrospective interviews with stars Christopher Augustine, Jeannette Dilger, Gayle Davis, and editor Leon Ortiz-Gil in a near feature length making-of, a theater presentation discussion with Christopher Augustine, and a Tom DeSimone retrospect on Christina “Tina” Hornisher.  The third disc, a soundtrack CD of Basil Poledouris eclectic composition, is 17-tracks deep and comes in a customer sleeve inside the beautifully illustrated and tactile slipbox.  Instead, a slightly larger than normal Blu-ray Amaray case without the Blu-ray logo with the original poster art as primary cover with the new slipbox art on the reverse side.  The Blu-rays set on top of each other, staggered, on the right side while the left houses a 24-page booklet filled with color pictures, poster art, and historical, anecdotal, and analytic context essays from Marc E. Heuck, David Szulkin, Richard Kraft, and Jim VanBebber.  Grindhouse Releasing’s region free “Hollywood 20008” hits retail and online stores November 26th and has an 87-minute runtime under it’s not rated package

Last Rites: Grimy Tinsel Town sets the backdrop and insidiously swirls inside the mind of the forefront encased and bejeweled inside a Grindhouse Releasing special that’ll never have you look at Hollywood the same again.

“Hollywood 90028” 3-Disc Collector’s Edition Can Be Preordered Here!

Demonic Nuns Want Virgins to Resurrect EVIL! “The Convent” reviewed! (Synapse Films / 4K UHD and Standard Blu-ray)

4K and Blu-ray “The Convent” Demonically Entering Your Soul! Buy It Here!

A woman strides into a convent carrier a can of gasoline and a shotgun during the sacrament of Eucharist between priest and nuns.  After setting the humble nave ablaze, she unloads shotgun shells into all the screaming bodies.  40 years later, a group of Greek life college students look to make their Greek letter mark on the same derelict convent now swarming with urban legends and ghost stories.  When a virginal student is kidnapped by wannabe Satan worshippers, they accidentally open the gate for dormant demons to arise through the corporeal vessels of the dead.  The possessed dead slaughter all in their way to seek another virgin, one that will embody their unholy master until this plane of existence.  The only chance for survival is to track that now woman from four decades ago to finish what she started after 30 years in an insane asylum, to blow away the demonic beasts of Hell!

At the turn of the century in the year of Lord of 2000, a year some Christians believed marked the 2,000th anniversary of the incarnation of Jesus Christ, saw another reincarnation of Hell passing through Catholic sacred ground from the creative culinary of profanity director Mike Mendez.  The one of a handful of creative talents behind the “Satanic Hispanics” anthology film and the native Los Angeleno helmed “The Convent,” his third directorial in horror behind breakout pyscho-hit “Killers” and the male-chauvinist be damned horror-comedy “Bimbo Movie Bash,” from the Chaton Anderson’s debut script full of sacrilegious imagery, glow-in-the-dark veined demons, and the dark comedic charm of early 2000s.  Shot entirely in Los Angeles, the demon-comedy is produced by Anderson and Jed Nolan (“Jurassic Women”) on a microbudget from executive producers Ryan and Roland Carroll of Alpine Pictures (“Dark Honeymoon”), Elliot Metz, and Rene Torres, who served as associate producer on the cult favorite, “Night of the Demons.” 

The collegiate characters are not only surrounded by twitching, carnage-dishing demons under the nuns’ habits but they’re also surrounded by headlining genre greats Adrienne Barbeau (“The Fog,” “Swamp Thing”) and, briefly, Bill Moseley (“The Devil’s Rejects,” “Texas Chainsaw Massacre II”) and gangster rapper, the late Coolio.  Barbeau doesn’t lose a step being the beautiful badass we all know and love from her reign as an 80s-90s scream queen, shotgun barreling down demons left and right as her character’s 40-years-senior self from the Nun-torching and blasting opener, the accused certifiable crazy lady called to action in Christine.  She’s called to once again stop a demonic Catholic kerfuffle she immobilized from spreading four decades back by a new set of naïve, older teenagers looking to get high, get lucky, and get the kicks.  Joanna Canton, who had three seasons in her on “That 70’s Show,” battles back-to-back with Adrienne Barbeau as Clorissa, the lead principal of the trespassing teens.  Canton is joined by story boyfriend Chad (Dax Miller, “Blood Surf”), story friends Biff (Jim Golden), Kaitlin (Renée Graham, “Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the Thirteenth”) and Frijole (Richard Trapp, “Re-Cut”), story little brother and abuse-taking pledger Brant (Liam Kyle Sullivan, “Rideshare”), and story gothic bestie of another life time in Mo (Megahn Perry, “The Perfect Host”) whose been ostracized by mostly Clorissa’s friends and even a little by Clorissa trying to escape a gothic lifestyle for more fit in “normal.”  A dark and spooky night in a rundown convent transforms into a night of terror when Satan Worshippers Sapphira (writer Chaton Anderson, “Wither”), Davina (Allison Dunbar, “Browse”), and Dickie-Boy (“Kelly Mantle, “The Evil Within”) are led by so-called Satanist expert and a poorly 17th century speech replicator Saul (David Gunn, “Killers”).  “The Convent” does have dynamic trope characters, ranging from jock, to druggie, to cheerleader, to goth, and to the nerd, following formulaic footsteps to face forces of ferocious, fanged demons and doing it oh not so well and oh so gloriously bloody.  Casting rounds out with Oakley Stevenson, Larrs Jackson, and Elle Alexander.

Mendez’s “The Convent” has a real identity crisis issue walking in the familiar territory that closely resembles Kevin Tenney’s “Night of the Demons.”  Hell, I would go as far as stating Mendez’s Y2K-personified horror is a near step-by-step remake of Tenney’s 1988 demon possession carnage in an abandoned structure film.  However, minutia differences, a fall of Catholicism theme, and the addition of a motorcycling, demon-destroying Adriene Barbeau keep similarity nuances at bay and the acquainted plot lively and entertaining with a glow-party, nightclub maquillage on the demons to give them a fascia of techno-effervescence veins.  Mendez also adjusts the demons’ movements to a rapid twitch with increased frames per second and having the actors jerk their movements in a wild array.  Seems a little bizarre at first but the effect grows on you, and you can’t imagine “The Convent” demon without the spasmatic shots, as their glowing eyes set on seek-and-destroy roam from dilapidated hallway to dilapidated hallway, succumbing to the evil spirit’s will after the life force leaves the body.  Themes of an evil Catholic perspective will challenge those with a Christian value upbringing, especially with nuns and priests being gunned down and torched, and more character specific concepts of personal growth in deciding what’s right versus what’s popular run a paced course of dispersed too late to fix what’s already broken. 

As part of the Mike Mendez 4K UHD double bill release from Synapse that includes his individual inaugural film “Killers,” which we will review soon too, “The Convent” comes in a 2-disc, dual format set, making it’s uncensored, U.S. debut remastered in Dolby Vision 4K from the original 35mm internegative elements.  HEVC encoded, 2160p ultra-high definition, BD66 and the AVC encoded, 1080p, BD50 rockets the previously out of print film right past a standard Blu-ray release and into the land of 4K with 2k hitching a ride.  Both formats presented in a widescreen 1.78:1 aspect ratio, the definition and color saturation advancement are a huge leap from previous DVD releases with more delineate means inside a broadly shadowed interior.  Light and shadow have now divided fully and agreeably to shapes are now more obscured or in illumination.  With that being said, details are not knocked out of this part and that’s especially surprising since director Mike Mendez supervised the 4K remastering.  Facial features do appear smoothed out, more so on the standard Blu-ray release.  UHD has a slightly better rooting out skin details and customer texturing which Adrienne Barbeau leather jacket and tight denim jeans, with all the folds, zippers, buckles, and such, seeing the most promise.  The superimposed glow f/x has rich lamination with the emanating pulses creating reflection being done well on character faces and throughout an enclosed room.  The UHD and standard Blu-ray come with an English DTS-HD master audio 5.1 surround sound from the original 16-track master audio.  Uncompressed fidelity is a complete win here for “The Convent” that seizes side and back channels with monstrous grunts and growls, and not to forget to mention the often-neglected spooky house ambience of creaks, cracks, and killer hits to the body.  A broad range helps diffuse distinct layers to the individual channels.  Dialogue renders clean and clear with no pitchiness of hissing or crackling to note.  English subtitles are available on both formats. While the UHD only has eyes for the feature, the Blu-ray has the movie plus Hell-Raising bonus content, including two audio commentaries with a cast and crew commentary with director Mike Mendez, Megahn Perry, and Liam Kyle Sullivan and a Lords of Hell commentary featuring David Gunn and Kelly Mantle in full character of Saul and Dickie-Boy, a behind-the-scenes featurette, a location featurette, a single deleted scene, gore/kill scene outtakes, the original EPK (Electronic Press Kit), a pair of promotional trailers, and a still gallery. The new primary cover art and the reverse cover art inside the black Amaray case is illustrated by Ralf Krause and Samhain1992. A 6-page essay from Corey Danna has cropped color pictures along with release acknowledgements on the backside. The not rated film has a 80-minute runtime and is region free.

Last Rites: Never intended to take itself seriously, “The Convent” has wicked style, makeup, and effects under an early 2000’s feng shui and is balls-to-the-wall nonstop with demonically dark humor laughs and the barbaric blasphemy of a savagely railed faith!

4K and Blu-ray “The Convent” Demonically Entering Your Soul! Buy It Here!

At Odds With Each Other Can’t Stop the EVIL That’s Coming for Them! “House of Dolls” reviewed! (VMI Releasing / Blu-ray)

“House of Dolls” Is Ready to Play! Blu-ray Available at Amazon.

Estranged sisters Jenn, Diana, and Adalene are summoned to reunite by their dying father.  Greeted by their grandmother and a lawyer informing them of an inheritance within their father’s will, the verbally combative sisters are more than eager for their fair share of the will and be happy to never see each other again as they go on with their lives, but the will’s stipulation states the sisters must work together and revitalize the long severed kinship within the walls of his hand-built estate, a life-size representation of a doll house constructed for the love of his life where clues to their inheritance lie hidden inside.  Before even the first ounce of hope to mend their broken bond, one of the sisters is found brutally murdered in one of garish rooms and a masked maniac hunts for not only the two remaining sisters but also those close to them outside the house of dolls.

Juan Sala’s “House of Dolls” is the return to horror for the Texas taught director since his urban-thriller “Alp” in 2016 and the first independent story helmed that didn’t involve Sala’s going pen-to-paper with a script.  That task was handled by another Texas film school graduate, Iv Amenti, in her first feather length screenwriter credit aimed to label itself as a mystery-slasher under the guise of grueling family rejuvenation.  The 2023 released film’s story was shot on location in Los Angeles with Juan Salas solo producing the feature.  Salas is no stranger producing his own work as he’s done with most of his own repertoire (“The Triple D,” “The Wolf Catcher,” and “The Devil’s Ring”) while also branching out occasionally to support and/or fund other creative minds, such as with Brian King’s “Hell of a Night.”  Polar Bear Films produced the film along with Vantage Media International, or VMI Worldwide, who produced and distributed the film.

Powering “House of Dolls” vessel into explicit view is headliner Dee Wallace.  The “Cujo” and “Critters” scream queen has been on a junket of mom-and-pop productions for the better part of the last decade for aspiring horror filmmakers to leech off that eye-catching and weight-bearing Dee Wallace name.  Wallace reminds me of Linnea Quigley once said in an interview, if producers meet her price, she’ll star in pretty much anything.  Wallace seemingly has the same philosophy with a continuous stream of projects that screen her for no more than a total of 15-minutes, tops.  While this works to an extent, based off the prominence or the memorability of the role, most of that bankable name and face do little elevating the film, resulting in just a paycheck performance.  Sure, Wallace’s fans will check it out for the sake of Dee Wallace but for “House of Dolls,” as with the story or just as with the entity of the film, the gimmick doesn’t leave a mark.  The plot crux favors the three bickering sisters, Adalene (Violeta Ortega), Jenn (Stephanie Troyak), and Diana (Alicia Underwood).  Sibling diverging personalities uphold their seething hate for each other, that is much as obvious, but for what specific reason is never unfolded, or is unfolded but made unclear in the wake of its untidy heap.  What’s definingly unclear is the mother of these unlikeable brats.  Mentions of individually owning the unfortunate event of a mother’s death makes the ambiguous ruling that there is at least one half-sister.  They could all be half-sisters, but the unbridled dialogue and no conveyed backstory strays away from important pieces of the puzzle that make it as frustrating as trying to match a 2D puzzle piece within a 3D puzzle scheme.  The story also incorporates flimsy relationships with the sisters, Jenn’s drug buddy Justin (Jack Rain) who unexpectantly arrives with the sisters at their father’s estate, Adalene’s semi-sweet boyfriend Caleb (Phil Blevins), Diana’s vague friendzone coworker or perhaps boyfriend Lenny (Matt Blackwell”), and Diana’s out-of-nowhere go-to detective who just happens to be at her father’s hospital, dressed in beat cop fatigues, in Det. Ramierz (Meeko).  All these seedling characters are detached in their gravitational encircling around the sisters, pulling in zero weight on a story that’s quickly deflating.  Rounding out the fleeting supporting cast is Trey Peyton. 

Following “House of Dolls” plotline might as well be riddles with attention deficit disorder.  Too much is happening without the ease of transition or even sense to hold down a floating story that’s constituting forced uniformity and civility amongst rival siblings by way of a mysterious house with mysterious clues. Yet, those clues don’t flesh out and intrigue over what could have been a backstory backbone turns into gelatinous indiscretion of kill-after-kill by a leather coat-wearing masked-maniac with knives that offers up in the end being nothing more than surface level, superficial slasher.  Salas pulls off some decent, gory kills, such as a slimy disembowelment and a bisected torso that spills guts, to add some value to the production that’s ultimately equalized by areas of cut-rate props, such as the obviously flat and dull large knives that look more like cardboard than metal.  Like in true slasher tropes, the killer is seemingly everywhere at once, hopping from one location to the next, even if the other locations are across town, but this punk-cladded, homicidal maniac appears in-and-out of the alternating scenes too lackadaisically without systematic care to at least in try and make it plausible.   

VMI Releasing and MVD Visual handle the physical media distribution with a 1080p, high-definition Blu-ray.  The AVC encoded BD50 has the capacity for the eclectically ranged front lit key lighting and neon lighting, delivering a clean picture without compression issues.  Details waver between certain aspects of lighting, which is expected, but the details that do emerge pinpoint textural qualities and the key lighting reveals appropriate, vivid coloring and skin tones when contrasted against heavier background shadows.  Jorge Villa’s sizzling neon gives a warm glow in purple, blues, reds, and orange that enhances to a near music video quality outside the normal lighting and production parameters.  The film is presented in a 1.78:1 aspect ratio.  The uncompressed DTS-HD 5.1 English audio mix is an upbeat combination of verbal jabs, deregulated dialogue, and a medley of pop music and low-tone beat creator for the villain peppered with hip-hop rhythms, violin and piano down tone, and some suspense synthesized keyboard notes that do lean into what makes a decent horror soundtrack.  No complaints on the dialogue track that’s fairly level but doesn’t explore much in depth as characters are often up front and center on the camera.  There’s also not enough range to really utilize the multi-channel network and so the lack of miscellany fight for audible supremacy. Subtitles are available in English only.  Bonus features are aplenty on this larger capacity disc with Juan Salas commentary track that runs parallel to the feature, Juan Salas and Dee Wallace have a Halloween special video chat to converse about their time in production, a Natasha Martinez hosted cast Q&A for the U.S. premiere, a making-of featurette, and a MiB Legacy music video The Man Who Was Death.  On the outside, VMI’s standard Blu-ray comes with an appealing touchup of the killer in full dress from the chest-up, singled out by a black background and the title just overhead.  The disc is pressed with the same image with no other tangible features.  The film is not rated with region free capabilities and has a runtime of 84 minutes.    

Last Rites: “House of Dolls” crumbles as a clunky attempt at a slasher with a twist ending. The story shatters like someone pulling a pin on a grenade and pieces of act structure shrapnel propel in all different directions and never once hit target in the latest from director Juan Salas.

“House of Dolls” Is Ready to Play! Blu-ray Available at Amazon.